Funny / Displacement

Despite the plot being kicked off by teenagers dying horrible deaths, Displacement always has room for humour. Occasionally it's Black Comedy, but still. Humour.

Part One

• Michelle describing Ketros's more athletic body in chapter two.
  She was athletic. She was ripped. She had a fucking six pack.
  On the downside, it seemed that with the lack of body fat, her formerly impressive curves were gone. She certainly wasn't a pencil, but her hips appeared to have regained the ability to lie. And was it her imagination, or had she gone down a cup size?
  But enough of staring at herself and touching her muscles. She had some weird clothes to put on.
• Michelle's initial response to having friends is the gift that keeps on giving.
  Michelle: "Wow. More than two friends. That's impressive, by my standards. I should get an award. Made multiple friends. Jedi of the fuckin' year here."
• Michelle's wake-up on her sixteeth birthday.
• Anakin and Michelle meet, and almost immediately start to bond over their shared love of fighting dirty.
• Michelle's response to meeting Obi-Wan, who had been her favourite character back on Earth. Her internal dialogue is priceless.
  And dear lord, Obi-Wan Kenobi. If she wasn't both gay and underage, she would be valiantly attempting to climb that man like a fucking tree.
• Michelle's opinion of her and Anakin working together on Rellekka.
  And there was no possible way that Anakin 'Human Disaster' Skywalker working with Michelle the Inter-Dimensional Hobo was going to go wrong. Absolutely no problems on the horizon. Just smooth sailing for the two of them.
  Yeah. They were probably going to find a way to blow up half the damn planet.
• Coltin and Obi-Wan discussing their respective Padawans, and Coltin's internal panic at accidentally bringing up Qui-Gon's death. Repeatedly.
  Coltin was really doing a fantastic job at shoving his foot firmly into his mouth like a goddamn idiot.
• While escaping prison, Michelle grabs her boots and tunic before her lightsaber. Anakin calls her out on it.
  Anakin: "Dude, you have some weird priorities."
  Michelle: "It's cold outside, and I like this tunic. Grab yours, if we manage to escape only to freeze to death outside, that's going to be pretty fucking stupid."
• Ketros making her first proper entrance to the story.
  "Hi. I broke through the veil of death because you need to stop."
• Michelle's reaction to finding out Anakin had the information that he was tortured over during their interrogation.
  Michelle: "And- and you didn't think to tell them that before they beat the hell out of you?"
  Anakin: "Nah. Fuck 'em."
• Michelle and Anakin's triumphant return to their masters.
  Anakin: "We went to prison!"
  Obi-Wan: "What?"
  Anakin: "It sucked. We broke out before they started cutting bits off though, so that's good."
  Obi-Wan: "What!?"
  Anakin: "They were going to cut my fingers off, it was awesome."
  Obi-Wan: "WHAT!?"
  Coltin: Wow, you two are never being left alone ever again."
  Obi-Wan: Agreed. Honestly padawan, did you get beaten or something?"
  Michelle: "...So uh... you wanna tell him, or should I?"
• Michelle's response to Tero's motive. Made better by the fact that she only refers to events that didn't happen in that universe.
  "Are you fucking kidding me? That's literally every xenophobic strawman rhetoric ever. Like Brexit meets Hitler meets Trump. This is incredible. Space nazi's. I'm dealing with space nazi's. No - space racism. Spacism."
• Zinnia and Michelle discussing Michelle's situation, and deciding to take out Palpatine. Michelle gets off topic.
  Zinnia: "Just.. promise me you won't die? Er, again, I mean. I don't want to have to light your pyre."
  Michelle: "Don't be ridiculous, Coltin would light my pyre."
  Zinnia: "Michelle."
  Michelle: "And if he wasn't around, I think I could at least get Seha to do it. She's much more elegant than you. You'd probably do a sweet backflip with the fire, and while that would be a sick way to send me off, I don't think the inevitable army of mourners would approve."
  Zinnia: "Michelle."
  Michelle: "Just being honest. The backflip would be sweet though. And while we're on the subject, where I'm from there's this thing called Viking funerals, where you put a dead person's body on a boat, then float it out and set it on fire. I want one of those. But like, in space. Take my body, slap it in the fanciest, most expensive ship you can find, load that bitch up with explosives, launch me into space, and blow me the fuck up. It'll be great. The aesthetics of it alone-"
  'Zinnia: "Michelle"''
  Michelle: "...Thanks for agreeing to help me kill a Sith Lord."
  Zinnia: "Anytime buddy.
• In the interlude, a teenage Coltin being welcomed back to the temple after a mission.
  Mace Windu: "Padawan Andross. Get a haircut."
• Coltin's response to being advised to get a padawan.
• A twelve year old Ketros managing to talk Coltin into assisting her in skipping class to spar, ending in him impulsively taking her as a padawan.

Part Two

• Michelle has issues with Jedi style clothing. Specifically in getting it on.
  Coltin: "Y'know, it would probably go a bit better if you put the layers on in order. I think the undershirt should be the first step."
  Michelle: "I don't tell you how to live your life. Fuck! Why do Jedi wear so many damn layers!? Who need an undershirt all the damn time, it's stupid! Just wear a normal T-shirt, the galaxy will find a way to carry on! And tabards. Tabards are stupid, why do we all have them in some form? It's stupid!"
  Coltin: "No, please, tell us how you really feel."
• Anakin and Neria meet each other, and start talking about one of Anakin's mechanics projects, before running off to work on it. Neither of them remember that they had been about to eat dinner.
  Zinnia: "...They totally forgot to eat."
• Michelle getting a shovel talk from Obi-Wan over her friendship with Anakin.
• Michelle telling Ketros about the wonders of public high schools.
• Ketros advises Michelle to go to Yoda with her problems. Michelle refuses. One Gilligan Cut later, she's going to Yoda.
• Zinnia welcomes Michelle to the Jedi Order.
  Zinnia: "The point I'm making is, welcome to the Order Michelle. Kick ass and take names, you beautiful champion."
  Michelle: "I get the distinct feeling that's not the formal introduction."
  Zinnia: "Nah, that's totally the one we give to kids. Force, where have you been?"
  Michelle: "...An alternate dimension?"
  Zinnia: "...Fair enough."
• When Michelle and Zinnia leave on their trip, Coltin cheerfully tells them to use protection. Michelle cuts him off via Force-tossed pillow to the face.
• Canadian Michelle has been camping before, and is comfortable in setting up her and Zinnia's site. Coruscaunt-raised Zinnia is not.
  Zinnia: "Look, I'm just saying, I know I could make something out of the materials on the ship. I can make a small explosive, we'll set it off, and that's our fire for the night. Boom."
  Michelle: "Camping does not involve explosions. You goddamn heathen. Get back to pitching the tents."
  Zinnia: "I would like to, I'd really like to, but I'm not an engineer so this is beyond me."
  Michelle: "How in the fuck- poles don't go there! How did you do that!?"
  Zinnia: "...The Force?"
• Michelle and Zinnia having sex is tastefully described as them attempting to break the one remaining tent.
• In the chapter six author's note, their unholy glee at having ship teased Michelle and Zinnia for 60 thousand words, only to have them hook up and break up within the same chapter, and in-story during the same day.
• Anakin and Neria discuss how to best figure out if their plot to hook up Michelle and Zinnia worked. When Michelle and Zinnia come storming in ignoring each other, they quickly figure out that it didn't.
• Coltin thinking about being a teenager while comforting Michelle.
  There was a long list of things Coltin would choose to go through over puberty again. Being thrown off a cliff and literally getting castrated were both on that list.
• Michelle's many, many conspiracy theories.
  Michelle: "Moons aren't real. They're all government monitoring stations. The more moons a planet has, the more they're watching."
• After being told that Palpatine knows that she knows about him Michelle becomes upset enough to forget that she's talking to Anakin in a crowded meditation area. Less funny is the very real possibility she'll be killed.

  Michelle: "I'M STRESSED FUCK DAMN IT!"

• Michelle has an... interesting way of describing her Did You Just Flip Off Cthulhu? tactics.
  Michelle: "Hey man, he already knows we know. That was like, dominance struggles. Prison rules. My one liner was the equivalent to shanking a bitch to establish I wasn't fucking around."
  Ketros: "Oh my god, you're gonna die. You're going to die and I'm going to laugh because I fucking called it."
• Isaac being drafted into helping Michelle with her girl troubles.
  Isaac: "Okay. So, what are you going to do? About Zinnia, I mean."
  Michelle: "I don't know!? Cry? Have feelings? Be a human disaster? Or, not technically human, but- oh fuck it, you know what I was getting at. I'm having at least three emotions right now, and I don't like it."
  Isaac: "That... that's rough man. At least three?"
  Michelle: "Possibly as many as seven or eight. On that note, thanks for skipping whatever class you had right now to help, you have no idea what this means to me. And possibly neither do I. It's all very emotional."
  • This is immediately followed by Zinnia showing up, and Isaac abandoning the two girls to work it out themselves.
• In a desperate gambit to protect herself, Michelle arranges for a deadman's switch to be made for her. Referring it as such got depressing, so it gets named the Goes To Shit Switch instead. Because it only gets activated if everything goes to shit.
• Young Zinnia's snark in the interlude.
  Zinnia: "Thanks captain therapist. So it all started with my mother."
• Zinnia and Neria are both talented in their respective fields of programming and mechanics. Not so much in each others.
  Zinnia: "What? I'm programming Neria's unholy backlog of projects that need code to work. Seriously, I am trying so hard, but she just can't figure out how to do her own damn code, it's ridiculous!"
  Ketros: "...Last week you literally got confused about the difference between a wrench and a screwdriver."
  Zinnia: "It's confusing, those are confusing things."

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