- A number of Bella's notes can be absolutely hilarious:
Jasper messes with (physical) components of mood (do not want)
- Bella's Spy Speak conversation, when she notes that neither party needed to keep the coded speak, but it was hard to be the first one to stop
- Bella making Aro speechless for full four seconds by revealing that she wanted Gianna to bear her children.
- Rachel futilely insisting she is still what she's always believed herself to be.
"Look, whatever, just - I'm human. Period," said Rachel, folding her arms, and then she destroyed the borrowed clothes in a burst of fur.
- Bella has to spend some time away from Edward in order to activate the tribe of Quileute to turn into giant wolves, thinking it's safer if he doesn't know. She doesn't take the separation well, and upon learning Laurent spends a lot of time away from his mate, she wonders, baffled, if he's activating a tribe of Inuits who turn into giant owls.
- Cody's comment that he's probably 'the least interesting half-vampire in existence'.
- Elspeth remembering her parents honeymoon
- Most Evil Person In The Car Award
- When Cath and Ilario first meet and become mates. Maggie's reaction is priceless.
- Also Later:
"Ilario Trafeli," Maggie hollered, "get your pants on and be hospitable on behalf of Ireland—"
- Also Later:
- Siobhan, to Bella, almost certainly deadpan.
If you could guarantee a continuous shield over anyone, then there would be absolutely nothing stopping you and Allirea from walking in the front door and assassinating everybody you didn't like and stopping to paint each other's fingernails halfway through.
- Not to mention the repeated references to painting nails whenever that strategy is brought up again.
- Elspeth, at the end of a completely serious description of putting Edward back together.
[T]he ankle connected to the shinbone, this would be a terrible time to start singing -
- Bella, describing eating animals.
Side effects include pretty eyes and less of an impulse to murder people.
- Bella forbids Elspeth from having children until Bella is at least forty-five (she makes it a genuine royal decree, even). Elspeth thinks about it and points out that she had a child before her parents were forty-five.
" I rule the world and I am allowed to be slightly hypocritical," my mom said loftily.
Charlie: Most little girls who say they want to take over the world don't actually do it, you know.
- Related is Charlie's discomfort on the matter.
- Elspeth gets Seth to be present during his parents' resurrection by chanting in Latin while applying makeup. In her very best ominous voice.
- The introduction to Phil and Renee
"Honey!" Phil yelled up the stairs. "There's two teenage girls, a teenage boy, and a man and a woman here with what they say is good news and no visible scriptures! They know our names! I'm a bit confused!"
- Meetings: When Cath and Ilario first meet. Yes, again. And Ilario's reaction to Maggie's reaction adds even more pricelessness.
"Fuck," said Maggie, and Ilario knew he had it bad when his first reaction was not why is Maggie upset? or should we be swearing around a five year old?, but rather oh, what a good idea.