Harry's possessiveness when it comes to alcohol. He doesn't drink much, but woe betide you if you try and steal what he is drinking.
Gandalf: There are dangerous things in these mines.
Harry: I'll be one of them if I don't get to eat something soon.
Harry considers ferrying the five hunters over ahead of the Uruks when they are hunting for the hobbits. This is vetoed after Harry takes Gimli for a test flight and Gimli throws up. Legolas has the misfortune to be underneath. Hilarity Ensues.
Pippin: *completely innocently* Did you sleep well? You look as if you didn't get much sleep.
Harry: *clearly still out of it* It was fantastic… *Ginny elbows him* Oh, you meant the sleep. Well, not so much. There was… a lot of tossing and turning.
Pippin: *still innocently* Good thing that it was a big bed, think of the trouble if you'd rolled off.
Harry: *embarrassed* Yeah. Heh.
The narration when Emrys takes on a troll:
Emrys, like many others with a sobriquet such as 'The Valiant', took the traditional Gryffindor approach to distraction. That is to say, crude insults yelled at the top of one's voice. Sun Tzu would have been proud.
And his insult: "Oi! Big, ugly and brainless! Down here Warg fucker!"
This is still far from the weirdest thing you've ever done.
Harry's proactive approach to matchmaking.
This exchange at the celebration post final battle.
Gandalf: Nevertheless, your secret dies with us
Harry: No dying!
Gandalf: Everyone does so eventually Harry. Death is but the next great adventure, a wise man once said.
Harry: Yes, Dumbledore really liked that one. But this is a party, and I'm just back from the dead, so I intend to have fun, which may or may not involve getting absolutely drunk out of my skull.
Frodo: *puzzled* How do you get drunk out of your skull?
Harry: *firmly* I don't know, but I intend to find out.
Harry disabusing Boromir of the notion that he is merely a cold and calculating commander in Deadpan Snarker fashion.
Oi, moaning about your own perceived failures is my schtick. Stop infringing. I take it that your cold and calculating side is why your soldiers love you and would die for you without hesitation, why it was you who comforted me after Gandalf died. Yes, very cold, very ruthless, no doubt all with a cunning ulterior motive. Face it Boromir, you're like a big, fluffy… stuffed toy!
How Harry persuades Éowyn to remain behind after Helms Deep:
Besides, your cousin has to go because he is the heir, and your brother has to because he’s about as good at dealing with civilians as I am at herding cats. Blindfolded. With both legs tied together.
Harry's casual irreverence provides many.
After Helms Deep.
Gandalf: Sauron’s wrath will be terrible, his vengeance swift. The battle for Helm’s Deep is over. The Battle for Middle Earth is about to begin.
Harry: Not before we, one, deal with Saruman, and two, I get a decent pint, it won’t.
Boromir: *despairingly* Do you have any sense of occasion?
Harry: *blankly* Sense of occasion? What is this thing you speak of?
Gandalf: *ignores Harry through long practice* All our hopes now lie with two little hobbits. Somewhere in the wilderness.
Hailing the Riders of Rohan.
Aragorn: Riders of Rohan! What news from the Mark?
Harry: ÉOMER! OVER HERE YOU DOZY BASTARD!
He then threatens to turn one of the Riders' spears into a rabbit.
Harry considers trying to pull a Jump Scare on Boromir when they're riding to Isengard, then dismisses it on the grounds that he'll probably be stabbed.
Harry's innovative tactic against Warg's. Shrieking through a Sonorus spell.
Ron tells Harry and Ginny to get a room at a banquet in Rohan, or they'll start doing it on the table.
Harry: *looks speculatively at table* Nah. Too much chance of splinters.
Then Théoden noticing them leaving and responding.
Théoden: Anyone else who wishes to leave the banquet with their loved one to attend to… other business, may do so. Now.
A full third of the guests promptly leave, and Legolas and Gimli sigh over the one track minds of mortal men.
Legolas: Humans. Only ever thinking of one thing.
Gimli: Aye laddie. Let's just hope that Harry remembered to silence his room this time.
Legolas: *shudders* Yes. Let's.
Emrys' whispered If You Ever Do Anything to Hurt Her... speech to Sirius backfires. It works on Sirius, but Eirian gets annoyed and reads out Emrys' love poetry. Very loudly. On the steps of Edoras.
Maglor mockingly impersonating Fëanor.
From Out of the Shadows
Harry's internal note on Emrys' latest failure to redye his hair brown, saying that he sulked, not mentioning that the sulking was done on the hotel room ceiling.
Lucius Malfoy and piranhas. Flying piranhas. And purple custard. And sharks. The purple custard is a trademark.
Maglor's killer magical lawnmower.
The Dramatis Personae is a very long one.
Harry asks in a tone that suggests Serious Business that he is trying to hide from someone and wants Draco to teach him some anti tracking spells. The dread person who Harry is trying to escape? Mrs Weasley
And a hilarious Call Back to the books, George actually did stun his mother when she got involved in his wedding. It didn't stop her.
Harry: Draco's become rather more perceptive than I would have expected. He's almost like you Sirius, except when people s –. *looks at Eirian* If I finish that sentence I'm going to be castrated aren't I?
Eirian: Maybe. Depends what you were going to say.
Harry: *considers saying then shuts up* Discretion is that better part of valour.
Tony is no longer allowed to drink and fly the Iron Man suit after a Noodle Incident involving 'the Italian Ambassador's wife, the five Doombots, the Russian Ambassador's husky, the New York branch of Victoria's Secret and a Hugh Hefner themed orgy'. And it ended in Tony playing bumper cars with the US Fifth Fleet, totalling five destroyers, three frigates and an aircraft carrier.