"In every fic with a sorting scene,
The Author includes a song.
With prose abused cruel and mean,
And they go on much too long.
The smart ones just include
The hat's libretto from the canon.
The others, well they're just rude,
And quite abusive to the fanon.
For this fic, let's just assume
The hat was verbose and quite witty.
Because my poetry will clear a room,
It really is that shitty
For you purists who need the fic to have a sorting song,
And lacking the same would drive you to try to pick a bone.
I would suggest you should please yourself and surely do no wrong,
If you were to reread the verse from the book about the stone."