Funny / Star Wars Paranormalities Trilogy

Episode I

Chapter 1: Five Years Later

• Private Will Helms' introduction sets up the basics about the character. He introduces himself to Zolph by pointing that Zolph killed him five years back in the prologue. Only to be killed again seconds later by combination of being sucked into space and then being vaporized by the Conqueror's plasma cannon in the firing cycle, all because of shoddy safety regulations. And his reaction suggests this isn't even the first time he's died this way.
• After Zolph cuts off Admiral Gravlek's limbs and triggers a Dead Man's Switch that blows up the Conqueror's engines and sends the ship on a collision course with Acropolis Station, Zolph not only reacts with utter bafflement at the idea of the engines seemingly blowing up at random and vital-triggered bombs, but also questions the physics of how an engine explosion would propel the ship towards Ithor's gravity well... before remembering that the laws of physics in his universe aren't always consistent.
• While escaping the Conqueror, as Zolph steals a Valkoran Firaxa fighter, he carries over the earlier nod to the laws of physics by praying that it doesn't break just to screw him over (a light-hearted jab to the changing incline physics of the Invisible Hand falling towards Coruscant despite having artificial gravity).
  Zolph Vaelor: "Come on, physics, don't fail me now."

Chapter 3: Scum and Villainy

• Zolph loudly insults some criminals in the Mos Eisley Cantina when he asks about what's happening on Tatooine and learns that criminals essentially rule the planet. Too Dumb to Live? It turns out Zolph was doing it on purpose to get their attention so he can interrogate them himself.

Chapter 4: Demon of Tatooine

• This chapter establishes that Private Helms' own colleagues are aware of his inability to stay dead to the point of abusing it. Here, they keep sending Helms as bait for the various ancient but functional deathtraps in the Rakata ruins so other Valkoran troops won't be killed by them. When he gets sent into a trap that unexpectedly has a sarlacc underneath it, instead of being digested alive for the next thousand years (and thus preventing him from resurrecting), the sarlacc just vomits him into the ceiling at high-velocity.

Chapter 5: The Contact

• Upon landing on Sleheyron, Zolph's attempts to get into Girdretto's estate gradually get more and more over-the-top. When Girdretto refuses to let him in, he tries to Mind Trick his way in, only to be reminded that Girdretto is a Toydarian. After destroying his droids, Zolph tries to cut down the door with his lightsaber, only to have it bounce off because of a lightsaber-resistant coating. Then Zolph tries to blow the door up with a bomb, only to be told that door would survive the explosion, but he and the landing pad would be destroyed.
• It turns out that interrogating Girdretto was completely unnecessary, as Grein knows more about Terraris than he does. And she told Zolph this was unnecessary. So Zolph went through an Absurdly Spacious Sewer for no reason. But on a darker note, this keeps them there long enough to witness the Forceless invasion of Sleheyron.

Chapter 6: Invasion

• This was a very dark chapter, but it wasn't completely devoid of humor. Particularly Grein's idea of home security: There is no access terminal for the door on the outside of the house. Completely insane from the viewpoint of any other person, but for someone who can liquefy themselves and crawl through the cracks, it's very practical.
• After witnessing Grein's ability to liquefy herself and any possessions on her, Zolph asks if her clothing is actually made of water and she's technically naked. Grein simply responds with a rhetorical question about how her lightsaber liquefied.
• Upon seeing the Blazing Manta, we finally get some context as to why Zolph gets picked on for flying ships. There was an incident during the Yuuzhan Vong invasion where he was flying an older model Corellian YT-series freighter (like the Millenium Falcon) and wrecked it because of an asymmetrically-positioned cockpit. And even worse for Zolph, the whole galaxy seems to know about it.
• After some serious exposition on what the Forceless Collective is and how the Valkoran are connected, Zolph makes an exasperated reaction to the fact that he's getting involved in yet another war with a group of weirdos.
  Zolph: Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get some rest. We've still got a long way to go before reaching the Academy, and today, as well as the past five years of my life, has just been a parade of freaks.

Chapter 7: Artifact

• Zolph fights with a mutant, two-headed worm that eats garbage and uses its acidic feces and urine as projectiles, and the second head functions as the bladder/anus. Zolph chooses to never speak of this incident again.
• Private Helms is talking with another Valkoran trooper on an elevated walkway with no guardrails about how creepy Bast Castle is in general. After Helms casually brings up being eaten by a sarlacc and then projectile-vomited to death, the trooper accidentally makes him fall to his death. Zolph can only comment on how lacking Imperial safety regulations are.
  Zolph: By the Force! I'm really beginning to feel bad for the poor souls who worked here.
• During their second duel, Zolph throws Maesterus out of a window, only for the latter to come back with a pair of wings seconds later.
  Zolph: A pity. The holocron's gone, but at least Maesterus is dead. [Maesterus reemerges into the window suddenly sporting a pair of wings]
  Maesterus: (with a mocking tone) No, I'm not.
  Zolph: (voice cracking) WHAT?! When the hell did you get wings?!
  Maesterus: About fifteen seconds ago. Besides, may I remind you that we Force users can control our own gravitational acceleration?

Chapter 8: The Arm

• Being a Chiss, Grein briefly forgets that humans are not so adapted to Polus's freezing weather. Cue the sight of Grein dressing just like she did on Sleheyron and not being fazed by the cold, and Zolph freezing despite being properly dressed.
• Zolph comes across a minefield buried by snow. However, some of the mines are faulty and a hapless Valkoran trooper gets blown up by one of said mines. Judging by the trooper's low-key reaction to the mine being set off, it's all but implied that trooper is Will Helms. These types of accidents don't even faze him anymore.

Episode II

Episode III