Funny / The Rise of Darth Vulcan

• Vulcan expressing his opinion that with all the "girly cutesy pootsy crap", it's surprising their leader doesn't fart glitter.
• Zecora dropping her accent like a hot rock when Ted shows up in his Scary Impractical Armor.
• After freaking out at Darth Vulcan casually mentioning that he had killed, cooked, and ate a Cockatrice, we receive this little exchange.
  Celestia: Beat "So how did it taste?"
  Darth Vulcan: "I dunno, snakey-chickeny. Look, are you going to interrupt a lot?"
  Celestia: "Never mind. Continue."
• Diamond Tiara's Humiliation Conga. She becomes a literal Drag Along, getting dunked in a bog along the way, followed by a dunk in clean water to wash the mud off. Then comes the Diamond Dog parenting, getting dropped in a privy, another traumatic bath, and being put in a gunny sack hanging on the wall of a butcher's shop. She shuts up after that.
• Runt getting caught in one the Castle's traps, and the ensuing conversation.
  Vulcan: Are you injured?
  Runt: Don't think so.
  Vulcan: Don't think so?
  Runt: Can't see, Dread Master. Can't see! Everything dark!
  Vulcan: Runt?
  Runt: Yes?
  Vulcan: Try opening your eyes.
  Runt: Oh, that better.
• Chrysalis and Sombra throwing insults at each other, while Vulcan watches on.
  Sombra: Cockroach!
  Chrysalis: Relic!
  Sombra: Pompous nag!
  Chrysalis: Gas bag!
  Vulcan (thinking): I dunno. Maybe they used to date.
• The Diamond Dogs must have learned from Ted during the battle for the Everfree Castle, as their heads are about crotch level against Sombra's minions.
• The Diamond Dogs rescuing Ted results in Canterlot Castle sliding down the mountainside and ending up in a lake, where it stays for the rest of the fic.
• A disgruntled unicorn farmer throwing his house at Celestia because he got screwed by the tax department, and the whole "nobility takes precedence" thing. The events leading to it are kinda grim, but no one can deny that the result is hilarious.
  Heart Root: "You wanted my farm so bad? Well, y'bitch, here it is!"
• During a demonstration of animal care to the Changelings (so they can harvest their pets' love for them), Angel Bunny decides to bite Vulcan on the arm - his reaction is to drop-kick the rabbit into the forest so hard that Fluttershy has to pull his tail out of his arse.
• Due to the weirdness of Changeling mating habits, Chrysalis becomes hopelessly enamored with Vulcan. His reactions are priceless. In-Universe, Princess Luna finds out and starts laughing uncontrollably.
• Dodger and his run-in with the aptly-titled "Nope Spider" swarm is comedy gold; especially when he falls into a fetlock-deep carpet of them and inadvertently invents Riverdance.
• A pirate tries to mug Vulcan. Both Vulcan and Dodger lampshade how stupid this is, even before it goes as badly as you'd expect for the mugger in question.