- In the first chapter, after Shirou defies canon by making nice with Ilya, this gem pops up:
And though neither of them knew it at the time, they had just ensured that the plans of basically every single person in the conflict to come were going to go completely wrong. Except Rin. Her plans went wrong just fine without any outside help.
- In Chapter 5, Berserker has made short work of Rider and is prepared to do the same to Rin. Shirou won't have this and leaps in front, fully expecting to get skewered. And then Berserker... stops his descending sword, picks up Shirou "with the air of a gorilla lifting a kitten", and gently deposits him to the side. Everyone falls silent in shock (yes, even Shinji)... Then Berserker resumes his assigned task.
- In Chapter 6, we get to the customary "Shirou asks Saber to train him scene", where he promises to be her best pupil ever:
Shirou: [smiling widely] Bring it on, sensei. I can take whatever you can dish out!
-Four Hours Later-
[Shirou is bruised, sweating, and gasping for breath]
Saber: Would you like to continue?
Shirou: ... maybe... we... should... stop... for... lunch.
Saber: That would be acceptable, yes.
- Chapter 7, after Shirou arrives home 5 hours late to face Saber and Taiga:
Shirou stood before the Judges of Hell, and knew that he was amongst the damned.
- Watching Shinji getting battered in various ways through Chapters 3-5.
- Every single time someone (usually a Servant) applies the Fastball Special. It never gets old. Never.
- Especially when Archer does it to Rin a second time:
"I can run! Just set me down and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Rin said, as Archer threw her. He was much stronger than a normal person, and he didn't need much more than a fairly low-key motion of his muscles to manage it. In his defense, though, he didn't throw her into a bush again.
It was a pond.
- Especially when Archer does it to Rin a second time:
- Archer's Ladies and Germs moment in Chapter 3:
"Good-bye, Ladies and Gentlemen. Well... ladies, gentleman, and Shinji."
- Rin and Archer's banter (mostly Archer) is invariably hilarious.
Rin: If you throw me into a bush again I will smash your face!
Archer: Rin, I am trying to make us not die. If the best way to do this is to throw you into a bush, or throwing you into a bush would make me laugh, or...
Rin: I hate you!
[Archer projects a Kanshou and stabs it into the ground.]
Rin: What was that?
Archer: Strategy. Too complicated for you, I think.
Rin: Ass. LEFT! LEFT!
[Archer dodges an attack.]
Archer: Thanks, missed that one.
Rin: Thank me by dodging the next thirty!
- Chapter 18: Lancer's torture scene.
- Chapter 18: Ilya believing an oversized trenchcoat and sunglasses are enough to disguise her quite unique appearance.
- Chapter 19, Saber makes a persuading explanation attempt to Shirou while leaving out important facts of Ilyasviel to not get a question about it. And when she finishes a paragraph...
There! Informative, and yet leaving out anything that might give away the Lady Einzbern. Saber felt she was doing rather well at this subterfuge thing, and she didn't even have sunglasses.
- Chapter 23 is a much-needed Breather Episode after the last series of events, which of course means plenty of humour. Bright spots include Archer's world-weary snark, Ilya's condescending to Rin about being from a "backwater" country (with the "peasant" Rin rising to the bait), and, most of all, Shirou freaking out when he realises that he's been taking Ilya on dates. It only gets worse for him when he tries (and fails) to explain what was happening to Rin and Saber. Ilya then voices her mistaken belief that he knew they were dates but didn't know she was 19, oblivious to how that's making things worse.
- Chapter 25: Ilya walks in on Shiro getting into the bath and is very forward in her advances on him. The dialogue is priceless.
- Chapter 30: Kirei delivering the most sophisticated bit of Black Comedy to Sakura by casually revealing "in the interests of honesty" that he killed her birth father.
Kirei: If you wish to kill me for this, by all means.
- Archer's snarky response to Dark Sakura's philosophical declaration:
Dark Sakura: This world, Angra Mainyu's birthplace, is my nursery. And every single person in it is my beloved child.
[Archer impales her with a sword]
Archer: So, I guess the thing to say now would be 'you're not my real mom'?
- Near the end of Chapter 33: Kid!Gilgamesh appears! And he gets the ball rolling by trolling the heck out of Rin without even noticing. What makes it especially funny is the way he speaks: He's not a jerk, and is even polite, but he's still got Adult!Gilgamesh's arrogance, creating an odd mix of superiority and generosity. Every word out of his mouth is hilarious:
Shirou: Oh, hey, he's waking up!
Gil: Yes, he is. He also has too much dignity to be carried like a sack of wheat, so please set him down.Gil: (He falls over) You didn't see that. (Ilya insults him) The King would chastise you, but his legs appear to be not working totally right. He requests you roll him over and prop him against a wall. (Shirou does so) Ah, my thanks, vassal.Gil: (When Rin doubts his identity) Do not doubt my royalty, peasant.Gil: (He falls over again) ...I also find my muscles to be quite numb. Please hold me upright. (Shirou does so) Ah, you are a valiant slave. When I next procure a castle, you shall be my primary manservant.
- Kid Gil's words of wisdom and statements of superiority during the Breather Episode.