Funny / If Bella Were Sane

  • "The excuses people make up for incest."
  • "I really better stay away from him. He looks kind of mentally unstable. It'd totally ruin my day to be raped, killed and dumped in a trash can behind a McDonald's somewhere."
  • "He also says that we shouldn't be friends. O-kay, mister bipolar weirdo, fine with me. In fact, I'll help you with that venture by staying the hell away from you as much as possible."
  • "Oh, fucking fuck. Just fan-fucking-tastic."
  • The Take That! at Stephenie Meyer.
    • What, you mean the entire story?
  • Bella's description of Edward's eyes in chapter 1.
  • Chapter 3. It's actually kind of hard to pin-point one exact moment, though, given how no, sorry, pulling your leg: and "Eclipse doesn't get a parody chapter because nothing happened in Eclipse." and not to mention "Please enjoy the next chapter instead.", just... wow.