Funny / Doctor Ghemor, I Presume?

• The Running Gag about Cardassian literature still lives! Garak publically touts its superiority, yet Julian saw him reading ''Persuasion'' by Jane Austen in a corner.
  • Since Everybody Did It in Murder on the Orient Express, it should be palatable to Garak, right? Nope, since the tailor bitches that the suspects being involved in the same crime is horrendously unimaginative, and that supposed detective, a government-sanctioned operator, has - gasp - refused to drag the culprits in front of the tribunal! The horror!
  • There is an equivalent to pulp thrillers, but according Word of God, Garak refuses to call this "true" literature. Apparently, he rather despaired when the doctor learned of their existence...
• Garak's reaction when he gets to see Julian surgically altered to look like a Cardassian: Julian describes his expression as the kind indicating you got whacked hard with a wrench, and he still looks dazed when they're finally out of Cardassia Prime.
  • And Julian is completely oblivious, believing his lunchmate is his usual mocking self when he praises his beauty. Oh, and surely the dazed expression is due to a concussion! But why is he looking at the doctor's chest?
  • Sisko not-so-innocently pointing that Garak was suspiciously eager to volunteer for the rescue mission. Julian's reaction is best summed up as "Sempai noticed me!" which prompts an amused snort from Jadzia and the commander suddenly losing facial expression (to not burst out laughing).
  • Apparently, there is one thing able to terrify the pants off a highly-trained Obsidian Order ex-operator, and this is a middle-aged dad walking on you fondling his son's shoulder. To worsen things, said son starts babbling about how you are courting him. Garak leaving father and son alone strongly reeks of fleeing away.
  • Ghemor's utter dismay when Julian candidly reveals Garak hitting on him isn't recent, and having to explain that no, this isn't simple friendship overtures. Gloriously awkward doesn't even start to describe it.
  • Ultimately, Ghemor decides to accept that Julian can take care of himself and is allowed to love whoever he picks. It still doesn't save Garak from suffering Twerp Sweating of such power that the ex-spy continues to believe the Legate is about to murder him in his bed two years later.
• Garak persists to deny affiliation with the Obsidian Order, in spite of overwhelming proof.
  Julian: I suppose breaking into heavily-guarded buildings under the nose of the most efficient state security agency in the quadrant is an ordinary part of any tailor’s training, then?
  Garak: Oh, of course – one never knows when a powerful client might conveniently forget to pay for their purchases.
• Legate Ghemor's utter bafflement when informed the dreaded right hand of Tain is now a tailor. He's basically "a man being informed that the large, vicious, sharp-toothed creature presently using a whole humanoid skeleton as a chew toy was, in fact, a complete softie when you got to know it."
• Julian reminiscing how Ghemor just wouldn't stop glaring daggers at Garak at the tailor's wedding with the Legate's maybe-son.
  • The wedding night having to wait for the newlyweds to be back at Deep Space Nine because a) over-consumption of alcohol kinda impairs the ability to perform and b) the walls' thickness was a bit suspect, and if there's something you doesn't want for your father (or terrifying father-in-law) to hear, that's you boinking your husband.
• Sisko is convinced to stop grousing about his Chief Medical Officer suddenly eloping with the tailor to get married on one condition: Bashir will have to tell Jadzia he didn't invite her to his wedding.
• The good doctor ponders how exactly to explain he doesn't want for his human parents to be contacted by Zimmerman:
  ‘I don’t know if they actually exist or not, and I’d really prefer it if they didn’t’ was out. So too was ‘I’d honestly rather spend another month in that Dominion prison camp than spend ten minutes in Richard Bashir’s company.’ On balance, ‘I haven’t seen them in fourteen years and the last time I spoke to them it was to make it absolutely clear that I’d prefer never to see them again’ wasn’t exactly brilliant either.
• Julian grouses that he only was abducted twice, that's not an habit of his!
  • Miles' retort to this is pointing Garak slithered off to his rescue both times. The typical damsel is supposed to be rescued from the dragon, but Julian won't stop doing it backwards!
• Doctor Zimmerman tried to interview Garak who promptly trolled him by claiming his brand-new husband was obviously an operator for Starfleet Intelligence, just look at how he attached himself to a plain, simple Cardassian tailor — surely he's cultivating contacts for some sinister plot!
  Garak: I fear Doctor Zimmerman hasn’t taken my warnings at all to heart. Apparently, certain parties aboard this station have suggested I may not be entirely truthful.
• Garak suggesting murder as casually as he would discuss the weather is always good for sheer dissonance.
• In a very, very dark way, Julian springing Garak on his parents. Well yes, he got married. No, he didn't thought it was important to inform you. What's up for dinner?
• Garak having fits of horror at the thought of graffiti in the streets of Kardasi'Or was enough to make Julian laugh himself sick. Even better, the vandalism is done to support Tekeny — whom Garak still can't stand.
• A man of intelligence might decide that the middle of a war might not be the time to expend valuable resources on a personal grudge. Sadly, Deep Space Nine is dealing with Dukat.
• Richard Bashir asking if Julian is calling Ghemor "Father" because the Legate is his father-in-law. Garak and Ghemor's simultaneous reaction is nothing short of sheer disgust.