Funny: Child Of The Storm

  • The constant snarking.
  • Steve being traumatized by porn. To wit, he was using one of Tony laptops that popped up a porn site an after a few desperate attempts to close it, poor Steve resorted to punching the computer. While complaining that girls should not do such things with cups.
  • Robin Hood On Ice, as performed by the Hogwarts suits of armour and Professor Snape as an unwilling participant as the Sheriff of Nottingham.
  • Thor's letter to Fudge on the subject of yielding Sirius to Ministry custody.
    Fudge. Fuck off and die. Thor.
    • The follow up scene is pure gold, with Dumbledore subtly and incessantly mocking Fudge.
    Fudge: My point is that the innocent have nothing to fear.
    Dumbledore: I think Mister Black would disagree. Quite strenuously.
    • From the same scene:
    “Are you saying that I should lie down and let him walk all over I and the Ministry because he is powerful?Ē Fudge demanded. Dumbledore had to strongly resist the temptation to point out that he saw no reason why not, as that was what Fudge did best, and after all, why break the habit of a lifetime?
  • Really, any scene with Tony/Loki/Darcy in it.
  • Darcy giving Harry a hug and smooshing his face in her boobs because that's what is at Harry's head height.
    Tony: Second base already. Iím impressed, kiddo.
    • He [Tony] later refers to her cleavage as 'the Grand Canyon Mark 2'
      • Harry, having grown up somewhat, finds that he's now taller than Darcy, with a mixture of relief and irritation. Darcy responds with this gem.
    Yeah, from now on you gotta buy me dinner and ask real nice if you wanna get permission to shove your head in my rack.
  • Pretty much any scene involving Harry's mind being perverted is hilarious.
  • Tony, Sirius, Loki and Darcy discussing sex. Darcy opines that Loki is into bondage, Tony is whipped and Jane is a screamer.
  • Harry making to sit on a sofa and Thor stopping him, awkwardly saying that he [Harry] doesn't know where its been. Jane and Thor had been shagging on it earlier.
    • Harry then playing innocent to further embarrass his father.
  • Loki, coffee maker supreme.
  • Thor and Loki bickering in Gringotts.
  • 'They normally turned to Stark and Banner when there was a science based issue, if only to say, 'please stop doing it'.
  • Loki has a mortal Old Flame. The Queen. Apparently she was not pleased by his 'Puny Mortals' phase.
  • Tony and Pepper's interactions.
  • The Lemony Narrator.
  • The general reactions to Thor and Loki's offhand explanation of the other pantheons, with reference to Jesus.
  • Fandral's desperate yet effective attempt at Xanatos Speed Chess to a) amend his case of foot-in-mouth, b) set up Loki/Sif.
  • About being Hormone-Addled Teenager:
    Sirius: Definitely. I was a randy little bugger back then.
    Remus: You still are, Padfoot.
  • Darcy notes that her type is a guy of the Darker and Edgier bent, rather than a Thor/Steve type. Steve sulks slightly and this exchange follows.
    Steve: I can be edgy.
    Clint: Steve, last time I and Nat went running with you, you stopped to rescue a little girlís kitten that was stuck up a tree. Youíre about as edgy as cookie dough.
  • ďI would prefer my nephew be spared the sight of the Warriors Three at feeding time.Ē
  • This passage:
    Madness may provide great inspiration, but it plays havoc with your probability calculation, capacity for rational thought and ability to appreciate the arts. Though it does do wonders for your fashion sense. Black, after all, is always in style.
  • Loki saying 'yippee ki yay'.
  • The following.
    Pepper: Even Tony Stark's insurance doesn't cover grand acts of idiocy.
  • Huginn and Muninn having New York accents (a result of too long on Earth) and snarking like there's no tomorrow.
  • 'Hogun was as expressionless as an overdose of botox.'
  • Any time that Sif plays Team Mom to the Warriors Three.
    • Chapter 13
    The Lady Sif, at your service. The Warriors Three would be here IF THEY WERENíT SO BUSY CHECKING THEIR WEAPONS, FLIRTING WITH THE MAIDS AND EATING HALF THE ROYAL PANTRY. AGAIN! Beat *turns to Frigga* My apologies, my lady.
    • Chapter 36.
    Sif: Stop that, Fandral.
    • This is in response to the below incident. Jane has thrown a book at Loki and it is casually explained that this is common place since Thor and Loki are Nigh Invulnerable. Fandral, meanwhile, seems to be wondering if everyone can get in on this and is eyeing a chair. Sif doesn't even have to turn round.
  • Jane trying to disprove that she's brave. Loki isn't having any of it. And is being smug about it.
    Loki: So, facing down the Destroyer is an everyday matter, is it?
    Jane: Well, no. Beat Iím going to lose this argument, arenít I? No matter what I say, Iím going to lose.Ē
    Loki: Yes. Yes, you are.
    Jane: Thor, can I hit your brother?
    Thor: Be my guest. But believe me, it will only make him worse.
    Jane duly hurled a hardback book at Loki. He didnít even bother trying to dodge. It hit him square in the forehead, and bounced off. Then he reached down and picked it up.
    Loki: How to make friends and influence people. How appropriate.
  • Steve's response to the above, in which he sounds uncannily like Mrs Weasley.
  • Pretty much all of Chapter 37.
    • The Warriors Three discovering porn and the Internet.
    • The various different reactions by Thor, Sif and the Warriors Three to Loki changing their clothes to business suits in order to blend in.
      • Fandral admires himself in a mirror, Thor's uncomfortable, Volstagg can't breathe, Hogun doesn't react and Sif mostly seems to be surprised.
    • Thor, Loki, Sif and the Warriors Three trying to squeeze into the Ministry visitor's entrance. Cue an annoyed Thor yelling his catchphrase.
    Telephone boxes are only designed to fit one, maybe two people, if both are of about average height and know each other quite well, or, at night in seedier areas, getting to know each other very well.
    • The Ministry receptionist doesn't even look up and tells Thor to put his wand on the scale. Thor stares at him, then silently plonks Mjolnir on the scale.
    • The Warriors Three being puzzled by Midgardian turns of phrase.
    • The entire Fudge scene.
      • One example of Loki subtly, and sometimes openly, mocking Fudge.
    Loki: Effective exile for an innocent man.
    Fudge: With respect, Prince Loki, his innocence is a matter for a trial to determine.
    Loki: *with no respect whatsoever* If only you'd had that brilliant thought twelve years ago.
    • Both Loki and Dumbledore utterly dismissing Fudge at the end. In his own office.
    Loki: Well, I think that concludes our business here. Do not let us detain you, Minister.
    • Which serves as a hilarious Call Back to Fudge and Dumbledore's previous discussion, which ended with Fudge being dismissed with the same quote.
  • One of the Malfoy House Elves, called Drippy, recognises Fury from when he burned down the Manor and beat up Lucius Malfoy. His response:
    Yes. I did. Would you like me to do it again?
    • The conversation, which is basically Fury losing his temper and Drippy refusing to move, while Rhodey and Betsy try damage control.
  • The A/N's can be quite amusing, since the author is clearly insane (something he cheerfully acknowledges) and really quite talkative.
  • In a Black Comedy sort of way, Gravemoss mentally upping the suffering on the death he's going to give the HYDRA mook who just doesn't know when to shut up.
  • Gravemoss has a strange tendency of accidentally making pop culture references in the middle of threatening/killing/torturing someone, leading to fairly epic Mood Whiplash.
  • Anything and everything involving Ron's Puffskeins, starting with their names - Henry and Graham.
    • Henry met his end when Fred and George ended up mistaking him for a tennis ball that Mr Weasley had brought home, and used him for bludger practice, thinking the noises were normal. They only found out when he hit the wall and splattered.
    • Graham, on the other hand, may still be alive. No one's quite sure because Fred and George practise their hover charms on him, and he went straight up. And didn't come back down again.
  • Two words. Accio Hedwig.
  • Natasha's response to Professor Sprout being shocked at her age and being asked how she remains so young.
  • Combined with Fridge Brilliance, Thor apologises to Hermione for staring because he's spotted her resemblance to her mother, Wanda and says that he was 'lost in thought and memory'. Right on cue...
  • Every single scene with Huginn and Muninn. They're either bitching at Thor, each other or whoever happens to be around. They like Harry. And they have Brooklyn accents.
  • Freki and Geri will, apparently, 'eat everything that isn't nailed down'.
  • When Harry finds out about Luna's bullying at the hands of her housemates.
    Harry found himself entertaining the thoughts of a violent pyromaniac, and idly wondered if stone, say, the stone that made up Ravenclaw Tower, was flammable. All prior evidence suggested that it wasnít, but maybe all prior evidence simply hadnít been trying hard enough.
  • And when Harry learns that the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team is complicit in all the abuse Luna undergoes at the hand of her housemates, he starts grinning horribly. The next scene is McGonagall reading the extensive list of injuries suffered by the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team and punishing Harry for indirectly causing them and telling him "Nicely done".
  • The Winter Soldier's internal arguments are generally quite funny, with one side being an analytical and computer like personality, the other being the human and somewhat snarky personality of Bucky Barnes.