Funny / Total Command

As is the case will all pages detailing Funny Moments, Spoilers Off

Total Command

• Izuku gains inches of height and pounds of muscle in the course of only a few days and everybody, including him, rationalize it as a growth spurt. All Might even questions if he's taking steroids.
• Izuku wonders why he's receiving so much more attention in class, being oblivious to his growing attractiveness.
• Mei immediately starts feeling up Izuku after she meets him, and then completely fails to explain why she is feeling him up.
• All Might solves the problem of encountering Midnight by throwing an injured Izuku out a window. When they try to sneak in a second time and fail, Izuku disarms Midnight from her persona by blind-siding her with his fanboy side.
• When Ochako saves Izuku from tripping, she opens her eyes after talking to him a bit and sees who she rescued. Her blush covers her whole face, she totally fails to introduce herself, and she accidentally activates her Quirk on herself. Izuku ends up having to pull her inside like a balloon until she recovers.
• Izuku realizing that there's no chance Katsumi won't be in his class as Nozomi will absolutely put her in the same class as him.
• Izuku's inner reaction to meeting Momo is to lament that if she's the standard at UA, he's dead.
  • Most of their first interactions are them being socially awkward at each other.
  • Momo does a Spit Take of her tea when she sees Izuku carrying her large bed frame.
• Shoko's obsession with soba. The others eventually have to trick her into eating something else.
• Izuku's first meeting with Mina, Eiko, and Tooru is him waking up from a nap without a shirt.
• Mei created the base of Izuku's costume out of a wetsuit, much to his initial embarrassment, which leads to much staring when he debuts it in front of his class.
• When Minerva attempts to peek upon Izuku in the changing rooms, she's stopped by Katsumi who, after a comment by Minerva, accidentally blows down the dividing wall: revealing Izuku in nothing but his underwear. And revealing them in various states of undress to him.
  • A cut-away to Nozomi has her laughing to herself, musing that she didn't even have to lower the wall herself.
• After Momo confesses that she likes Izuku, his overworked brain decides that he needs to shut down and he promptly faints face-first into Momo's chest. Mei follows up looking at their position by wondering if that's what sex is.
• When talking with his mother on the phone, Inko tells Izuku to ask Mei and Ochako to marry him as soon as possible. Izuku immediately imagines the girls he likes dressed for a wedding and castigates his brain for having the computing power for that instead of more important things.
• During the obstacle race, Present Mic is constantly freaking out because Class 1-A is pulling off multiple Crazy Enough to Work plans, one after another, while Aizawa laughs uproariously.
  Present Mic: WHY CAN’T YOU HAVE JUST ONE NORMAL STUDENT?
  • Then, when finally Saiko Intelli hijacks a robot and uses her Quirk to get herself through the finish line...
    Present Mic: Aizawa, I got good news. Your class doesn’t have the monopoly on crazy.
• Eiko wins her fight against Tetsutetsu because one of the latter's strikes causes her binder to get ripped - revealing her Most Common Superpower and distracting everybody.
• After Izuku has an intense make-out session with both Katsumi and Ochako, they hear the announcement for their match, making them realize the worked-up state they're in.
• After teasing Izuku and accidentally landing in his lap, Mina decides to double down on her teasing, only for Izuku to unintentionally turn the tables by slipping into his analysis mode and unconsciously wrapping his arms around her, trapping her until Ochako and Katsumi's match is over.
• Midnight is completely blindsided by Izuku's reveal of his Quirk at the Sports Festival, despite Izuku personally telling her about it. She assumed Total Command was what he named his meditation technique.
  • Aizawa didn't tell the other teachers because she wanted to pull a "logical ruse".
• Almost everybody in the stadium being Distracted by the Sexy, and in disbelief that a man has a Quirk when Izuku fights Shoko in the Sports Festival.
  • Ibara starts reciting Bible verses to herself ^note Psalm 23 to be precise. to distract her from lustful thoughts about Izuku. Except that her horny brain twists each phrase into how horny she is for Izuku.
  • Monoma being the one of the few Not Distracted by the Sexy, instead has a mental breakdown while wondering if she had been fed hallucinogens.
    Komori:.“For the last time, I didn’t do anything to your food, Monoma.”
  • Yui very bluntly states her intentions for Izuku. Followed up by wondering if he's into choking.
    Yui: I am going to fuck him.
  • Mount Lady goes from wanting Izuku to get taken down a peg to lusting after him, Kamui Woods loudly laments about how she assumed he was Quirkless, and Death Arms is just looking at them wondering what's wrong with them.
  • Meanwhile, the Wild Wild Pussycats realize that they are going to be hosting him during summer: Pixie-Bob wants to sleep with him, Mandalay plans how to Pixie-proof Izuku's room (and also wants to sleep with him), Ragdoll cracks up laughing and Tiger acts as the Only Sane Man.
• Every time Izuku argues with Nana. Particularly the penchant Nana has for screwing up with him - and Izuku pointing out how creepy the whole "being seduced by someone else living in your brain" thing is.
• Izuku and Nejire's first meeting has her tackling him to the ground, straddling his hips and bouncing in an interesting way. After spending several moments taking her in, and her not realizing why her positioning on him could be taken wrong, he snaps himself out of being Distracted by the Sexy and begins to wildly fanboy about her and the others of the Big 3. His attention laser-focused on her, she becomes embarrassed and finally realizes the implications of her position.
• Mei blurting out in front of everybody that she and Izuku had sex, immediately after the revelation of the polyamorous relationship. Followed up by Mecha Might missing his cue to play kazoos and activate the party poppers and having to be reminded by Mei.
  • Katsumi wonders whether Izuku has no fear - because he taught Mei about sex.
  • Then, Katsumi, Momo, and Ochako take Mei to Momo's room to interrogate her about Izuku. Eiko, Kyoka, Mina, and Tooru get caught eavesdropping, and they try to run away - unsuccessfully.
• All Might comes to talk with Izuku about Gran Torino's request for an internship, she appears so suddenly she startles everyone - including Katsumi, who sets off a flashbang explosion that temporarily blinds everyone. All Might ends up talking to the wall.
• Shoko slowly slurping her cold soba while looking as Endeavor walks around their home.
• After Stain is finally knocked out, Shoko finds a rope in the alley the fight happened in, leaving the others dumbfounded that someone threw out a perfectly usable rope.
  • When Izuku tells Shoko to wash her hands later, since they don't know where the rope has been, Shoko says that they do: the garbage bin. Tomoyo, Katsumi, and Izuku crack up laughing.
• Endeavor assumes that after forcing Izuku to give her a child that he'll be fearfully loyal to her like everyone else. However, after she runs into him in Rei's hospital room by coincidence, Izuku refuses to concede an inch of ground and actually cows the #2 Hero into backing off as she realizes the difference in size and strength between them. Endeavor leaves the hospital a flustered mess, now cognizant of both how wrong her assumptions were and an... unexpected revelation about herself.
• When helping Ojiro move into Class 1-B's dormitory, Izuku gets propositioned by Yui Kodai, who straight out asks him to fuck her. In his shock, he says "After the move" before running away. When he finishes helping Ojiro move, Yui is already waiting for him, wearing just a negligee, because it is "After the move".
• Nozomi tells the Top 10 Heroes that she's planning to have Miruko fight Izuku. Endeavor's (predictable) explosive reaction is literally quenched by a grinning Nozomi and her high pressure anti-fire system. Most of the other Pros nearly break down laughing.
• It's heavily implied (and confirmed by Word of God) that one of the reasons Nozomi put Gang Orca (who is afraid of insects) against Koda (who can control insects) was as revenge for her comments when Izuku's Quirk was revealed.
• Aoyama trolling Jiro over her obvious crush on Izuku.
• During her fight with Uraraka and Kaminari, Best Jeanist, who is getting surprised by the girls' fighting skills, wonders what kind of mental training they must have undergone to mesh their team-up so well.
  Meanwhile in Doi's head
  Life is like a hurricane here in Duckburg.
• Hawks ends up mummified by Iida and Sero's combo move. Iida (even though she's stumbling with vertigo) insists on putting the capture cuffs on her, and becomes disappointed when they are given the win before she can do it.
• While they fight Fat Gum, Kirishima decides to use her Hardening Quirk to dig her leg into the ground and Stone Wall the Pro Hero while Ashido runs for the gate. When Fat Gum points out that she can still move around while Kirishima is stuck, Kirishima admits she's not a smart woman.
• Nozomi turns several of the screens to the Bakugo and Todoroki vs Endeavor for various reasons... the most important being that she wants to see Endeavor getting taken down a few pegs.
• Katsumi keeps taunting Endeavor during their fight, but when she brings up Izuku Endeavor doesn't react. Katsumi realizes Endeavor wants to have sex with Izuku, but then Endeavor tries to claim Katsumi couldn't know about it, Katsumi cracks up laughing and all but tells the Number Two that she's already having sex with him.

Total Chat

• This story is a(n almost) constant laughterfest, but there are quite a few special moments.
• Chapter 1:
  • Tsuyu claims 'dibs' on Izuku. Katsumi immediately has a Freudian Slip where she writes she has an earlier claim.
  • Tsuyu mentions her lust is empowered because she is in mating season. When Hagakure expresses doubt, Tsuyu mentions she can share the pictures her mother showed her for her version of the Talk. Everyone else is suitably horrified.
• Chapter 2:
  • Hagakure admits she peeked in on Izuku while he changed clothes. After a round of calling her out, the girls admit they are curious about Izuku's size. Hagakure mentions he's longer than her hair, which would be good enough - if it weren't for the fact that no one else can tell how long Hagakure's hair is.
• Chapter 3:
  • When All Might's comments about Izuku start to make Midnight go overdrive, Aizawa tells her to stop thinking everything is a Double Entendre, and Midnight fires back by telling her about hydrating contacts. Upon learning that hydrating contacts only make dry eye worse if overused, Aizawa drops a Precision F-Strike. Present Mic immediately says she won a bet.
  • After speaking about Inko, All Might asks the other teachers how one would ask a woman out.
  • The teachers squabbling like siblings.
• Chapter 4:
  • When Tsuyu agrees with Bakugou about Jirou, Mina, Momo, and Ochako being "lucky bitches" for being in the same team as Izuku, she states she's checking herself for curses.
  • Tokoyami accidentally outing herself as a fan of the occult. The other girls tease her about becoming Izuku's goth girlfriend.
  • Iida trying to emoji her arm chops into the chat. The others think it's adorable.
• Chapter 6:
  • Tsuyu going all out in warning the other girls that, with Izuku outing himself on Live TV, they need to keep him protected.
  • Shoko intervenes for the first time after the Sports Festival. When Sero mentions Shoko's mother (Endeavor) looked proud, Shoko not only says "Fuck my mom", but tells the others they are more than welcome to speak ill of her.
• Chapter 7:
  • When the subject of how to get a picture of Izuku comes up, Bondo suggests to go further and steal him, and Kaibara suggests exchanging him for Monoma.
• Chapter 8:
  • Again, the teachers squabbling like children.
  • Aizawa acting uncharacteristically smug.

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