Put it this way: To say that the authors of this story have a great sense of humor and know how to display it is like saying Luffy is a glutton.
Warning: Spoilers Off applies to these pages. Proceed at your own risk.
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East Blue Saga
Joining the Straw Hats
- The very conversation that sends Cross into One Piece in the first place. Xomniac and CV12Hornet are discussing the Self-Insert genre, then B.R.O.B. popping in and dropping Xomniac right in without giving him a chance to object. And Hornet blocking B.R.O.B. when it offers to be a co-writer.
- Soundbite's Establishing Character Moment: Causing so many Jump Scares around Cross that he nearly has a panic attack. And when Cross finally catches up with him, giving Cross his first bite of the story in lieu of a handshake.
- B.R.O.B.'s parting shot towards Cross after throwing him into the adventure is giving him something to eat... and introduces us to Cross's Plot Allergy of biscuits.
- Which gives Soundbite the perfect opportunity to eat Cross's dropped iPhone.
- And how does chapter 1 end? Soundbite proving himself to be a Butt Biter.
- When Cross and Soundbite finally hear the Straw Hats on his island, they prepare to go off and find them... only for Luffy to find them first.
- And when he causes them to fall off the branch they're on, the landing leaves them both mumbling Non-Sequiturs.Cross: Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do...
Soundbite: YANkee doodle had a FARM...
- And when he causes them to fall off the branch they're on, the landing leaves them both mumbling Non-Sequiturs.
- Cross is preparing to ask Luffy if he can join his crew, but Luffy makes the offer first. This is so unexpected that Cross and the rest of Luffy's crew who had just caught up all ask if he’s serious.
- Specifically, they scream it. Also, when Luffy asks if he can ask something, Soundbite mimics the sound of eating popcorn.
- Cross's exposition of Soundbite's Devil Fruit powers (which involves saying each line in a different Straw Hat's voice), ends with him and Luffy laughing in unison. The crew slump when they realize they now have two annoyances instead of one.
- After Soundbite pulls a Jump Scare on Usopp, he makes the cardinal mistake of sticking his face (and nose) where Soundbite can reach.Cross: (Eye Twitch, then deadpan) As you can see, I didn't name him without reason.
Zoro, Sanji, and Nami: (also deadpan) You have our sympathy. - Once again, Cross's habit of not watching what he's eating comes back to bite him... when his first meal aboard the Going Merry includes biscuits.
- Cross's first demonstration of Soundbite's amplification powers, by calling a ship-wide assembly for Luffy, Zoro, and Usopp. Unfortunately for Usopp, he was using the toilet at the moment, and guess where Soundbite's voice came out of?Soundbite: Clean-up on AISLE THREE!
- Sanji threatening Soundbite's mischief with the salt shaker.
- When Nami suggests that Cross and Soundbite be the ship's Communications Officers, Luffy agrees and declares Cross the ship's Commie. Soundbite finds it hilarious, Cross doesn't.Cross: Da, kapitan...
Loguetown
- The crew doing a Double Take when Nami gives away 400,000 berries to Zoro and Cross.
- When Cross is choosing some Baby Transponder Snails that the rest of the crew can use for Soundbite to connect to, Soundbite figures out how to choose them: Belt out a guitar solo at the top of his lungs and the two that actually like the music come with them!
Alabasta Saga
Twin Capes
- Cross scaring Usopp with the Grand Line's complete lack of geographical integrity.
- The Straw Hats finding themselves in the Calm Belt, and on the head of one of it's Sea King denizens. How do they get out? Sea King sneeze!
- When they enter Reverse Mountain, Cross feels like he's forgetting something... a "little" something named Laboon waiting at the beginning of the Grand Line.
- This Bait-and-Switch Comparison:Usopp: Seriously! Is this thing so big that it didn’t notice a freaking cannon firing into it or is it just slow!?
Cross: I think it’s more the former than the latter! After all, from my experience? The intelligence of animals can seriously surprise you at times!
Soundbite: REPRESENT!
Cross: After all, you’d expect a snail that can speak to have at least half a braincell…
Soundbite: OI! - When they emerge into Laboon's painted stomach:Nami: Then there are two possibilities: one, we've all gone batshit insane.
(Cross gives Nami a Blank Stare)
Nami: ...point. Alright, in that case... yeah, I've got nothing. - Then we have this:Cross: Well, at any rate… maybe we actually are in the belly of a whale? The walls could be painted or something.
Zoro: You can't be serious.
Cross: (taking an oath-taking pose) May a Sea King strike me down should I lie!
(cue giant squid coming out of the water)
Usopp: AAAAGH! SEA KING!
Cross: (panicking) May the Sea King be struck down should I lie!
(cue three giant harpoons promptly killing the squid)
Cross: (stares blankly, and then looks up) May a billion berries fall from the sky should I lie!
(Beat)
Cross: Seriously? What omnipotent divine being worth their divine salt doesn't do things in threes?
Soundbite: RIPOFF! - When the crew first enters Laboon without Luffy, Cross bets 10 Berries that he’s making his way through the blowhole and will catch up to them inside. Nami takes the bet, and when Luffy does show up from exactly that place, Cross laments that he didn't bet 1000 Berries instead. Nami reluctantly pays up.
- Nami's reaction when she finds out that Cross is a Laughing Mad adrenaline junkie.Nami: You mean to tell me... that the one other sane person on this crew... is literally addicted to flirting with death itself!?
Cross: I suppose that this would be the wrong time to quote the Cheshire Cat in saying 'we're all mad here', huh? - Luffy's view on how much food is needed for a population of 100:Luffy: (flat look at Crocus) That's just stupid. [Laboon] could only feed them for three weeks, tops.
Cross: (flat look at Luffy) Your answer terrifies me beyond all belief for so many reasons. - Enraged as she is at both Luffy's antics and Cross's love of danger, Nami gives Cross one of her signature Megaton Punches... that puts Cross out for 10 minutes. Our first glimpse into seeing just how squishy Cross is compared to the residents of the world of One Piece.
- And then Crocus posits that Cross's weak constitution is due to inbreeding. Cross makes sure Nami doesn't spread that theory to the rest of the crew.
Whiskey Peak
- Nami and Miss Wednesday getting all worked up over Cross's love of adrenaline, while in the middle of the Grand Line's wacky weather.
- After Cross gets finished spieling on how he's living his dream, Nami snaps at him to get back to work against the Grand Line's weather. Then we get this exchange:Usopp: What happened to you enjoying living your dream?!
Cross: Nami's not a part of that dream, she's a goddamn course hazard!
Soundbite: Headstrong! NOT SUICIDAL!
Nami: I HEARD THAT! - After the storms have passed, Zoro gets annoyed that Soundbite woke him up in the middle of it all and Nami forced him to pull his own weight, and asks if they could handle it all themselves. Nami gives Soundbite a direct order to wake Zoro up with a Sea King roar right in his ears if he ever falls asleep on the job again. Zoro tries to protest that order to no avail.
- Cross kicking Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday with their food out of the galley because he and Zoro has some important info to share with the crew. When Sanji objects to Miss Wednesday, Cross gives him a Finger Muzzle.Sanji: Did you just shush me!?
Cross: Yes, and I'll do it again. Observe: Shush! - Nami suggesting that Soundbite is the ship's musician. This is his and Cross's response.Cross: You consider the sound he makes mus-
Soundbite: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES! - When the Whiskey Peak's party is in full swing, Cross sneaks away to the bathroom and wiretaps a conversation between bounty hunters who are planning to kill them all for their bounties. After relaying it to the others, Cross makes to ask what to do, only for Luffy to answer the question by beating up everyone in range.
- Then, when Cross is caught in the bathroom by someone while he’s clearly not drunk or drugged, this is the Non Sequitur Cross uses to get him to drop his guard.Cross: You're gonna want to get some air fresheners in there, ASAP. Believe me, biscuits are murder on my stomach, it's not pretty.
- Then, when Cross is caught in the bathroom by someone while he’s clearly not drunk or drugged, this is the Non Sequitur Cross uses to get him to drop his guard.
- Cross delivers his battle plan to Usopp and Nami: while Usopp acts as sniper support, he and Nami just go and loot the town while the Monster Trio attracts and disables the majority of enemy attention (after Nami breaks Zoro and Sanji's brawl up). A giggling Nami greatly approves of his suggestion, much to Cross's consternation.Cross: O...kay... that was disturbing...
Soundbite: I feel... unclean...
Luffy: I haven't been this scared since the last time Grandpa came to visit... - During Cross's interrogation of Miss Wednesday (a.k.a. Vivi), after his hot reading about the way she holds herself tells him that she’s rich, he wonders why she joined a bounty hunting organization in the first place, which leads to him entertaining the idea that she did it for romance.Cross: I seriously doubt you decided to do it for romance, especially not with him... (looks at Mr. 9) And I really hope not with him. (looks at Mr. 8)
Mr. 9 & Mr. 8: (gagged) MMMPH! - After the Unluckies catch up with the group and take sketches of everyone who heard Mr. 0's identity, Cross snarks about what else the otter Mr. 13 can do, like balancing a ball on his nose. A peeved Mr. 13 immediately sketches a flip book that shows Cross being shot, disemboweled, and Miss Friday doing something unspeakable and wrong to his remains.
- When Carue shows up on the Merry, we get the first instance of Soundbite giving animals actual understandable voices. While the crew, Vivi and Carue himself are shouting "You Can Talk?", Cross and Soundbite are too busy Laughing Themselves Sick... because Soundbite gave him the voice of Donald Duck.
- When Robin first appears on the Merry and does something to Soundbite, Cross mentally psychs himself up to talk to her, only to realize that his mouth was moving on its own,I only managed to catch the tail end of what I was saying, but the general gist could be summarized as "where the hell is my snail you bitch". The next second my thought process could be summarized as the phrase "Goddamn it, mouth."
- During Robin's conversation with the Straw Hats, Usopp sees something moving in Cross's jacket and promptly sets him on fire. Only for it to turn out to be Soundbite who was suppressed by one of Robin's hands.Soundbite: LONG-NOSED BED-WETTING SEA-KING-SHAGGING ASSHAT!
- Sanji coughing up blood when Nami orders him not to defend Miss All-Sunday.
- Robin disabling Luffy by tying him up in knots (sadly offscreen).
- When Vivi wonders what Miss All-Sunday's game is, Cross suggests baccarat. Carue finds that hilarious.Carue: What? That was funny!
- Then when everything's died down (more or less), Cross gives Usopp a conk on the head:Usopp: OUCH! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!?
Cross: FOR SETTING ME ON FIRE, JACKASS!
Soundbite: YEAH!
Cross: THAT WAS MY FAVORITE GODDAMN JACK-OUCH! - The next morning, Vivi tries to get the men out of bed at way too early in the morning, which they are understandably unhappy about. But then Vivi offers Carue some Katorean bread if he would help her get them out of bed... Cue supersonic duck knocking everyone out of their hammocks.
- And then Carue begins to complain about his voice, which, thanks to the stunt he just pulled, Cross and Soundbite refuse to change, much to their amusement.Carue: WILL YOU STOP WAUGHING AT ME ALWEADY!?
Cross: Only when you stop emphasizing your Speech Impediment.
Carue: I DON'T HAVE A FWEAKING SPEECH IMPEDIMENT!
Cross: You do now!
- And then Carue begins to complain about his voice, which, thanks to the stunt he just pulled, Cross and Soundbite refuse to change, much to their amusement.
- During the above wake-up scene, Cross tells Vivi that the only thing that will get him up is them falling off the ends of the earth. Then Usopp asks what's the worst that could happen. Do you think the authors could pass up a set-up as perfect as that?
- And Nami's Demon Head orders to get the rest in gear.
- After finally escaping the above Inevitable Waterfall, Nami asks if anyone else has any more impending disasters. These are the responses she gets: "Nope!; NO thanks!; No...; Not at all, Nami-swan!; Cross is gonna be the third mate.; I'm good..."
- Some events that happen between Whiskey Peak and Little Garden:
- Cross, Usopp and Carue being subjected to Zoro's Training from Hell, Cross convincing Sanji to train Nami and Vivi in the same way (either he gets them up to fighting snuff himself or he lets them hurt later while he's busy... or he lets Zoro handle it), while Luffy and Soundbite laugh at them.
- Luffy fighting with a mass of stinging tentacles who are treating him as a stretchy toy, while the crew watch eagerly with popcorn.
- The crew being subjected to a bunch of booby/death traps (Nami being tarred and feathered, Carue dunked in flour, Vivi strung up by her ankle, Luffy almost drowned), courtesy of the two Baby Transponder Snails who are trying to stage a mutiny against their idiot captain. It gives the reason for the names Cross gives them: Pinky and the Brain.
Little Garden
- The arc starts off with Cross's countermeasures against the Kestia: Soundbite's homemade bug repellent lotion that smells like a giant compost heap.
- And when everyone predictably objects to slathering themselves in liquid stench, Cross goes into a long, detailed and bloody description of what could happen if they’re infected by a prehistoric disease.
- And Luffy finally takes the choice into his own hands by grabbing the pot and dousing everyone head to toe.
- When Nami reaches the end of her rope trying to rein in Luffy and Cross from walking off into the jungle, she grabs Cross by the balls and tells him exactly what she'll do with a bowl, a mirror, needle and thread, and a straight razor: emasculate him while he watches.
- Carue about Luffy riding on an Apatosaurus:Carue: Ten bewi says he gets eaten.
(CHOMP)
Carue: Cawwed it. - Nami groaning at Luffy, Dorry and Broggy laughing in unison.
- The entirety of Miss Valentine's and Mr. 5's Oh, Crap! expressions when they realize that there's a giant T-Rex standing Right Behind Them. And even more so when Soundbite's Ill-Timed Sneeze alerts it. Miss Valentine jumps meters into the air in fright. Best of all? It was all Soundbite's bluff!
- Soundbite using his Ventriloquism to get Mr. 5 to blast his partner.
- When Dorry gets hurt by Mr. 5's booby-trapped grog (thankfully in his face rather than his stomach), Broggy says that he'll be fine as long as he doesn't fight. Then the volcano signaling their regular duel of honor erupts.Broggy: ...sometimes, I respect Elbaf to death and back. Others, I think he simply enjoys picking on us.
- And when Cross runs into the Unluckies, Cross tells them that there's a T-Rex Right Behind Them. However this time, Cross isn't bluffing!
- Through the chaos of the ensuing fight against Baroque Works, Cross remembers Soundbite leading everyone in a dance to Gangnam Style. Though a Tap on the Head may have been the cause of that.
- When the Unluckies go after Cross again, Soundbite leads them right into a cave. A cave filled with troodons.
- This exchange occurs after Cross muses that he expected them to be velociraptors:Raptor: Hissssss...
Cross: (turns around) Clever girl...
Raptor: HISSSSSSS!
Cross: Oh how the hell do you even know that reference!? - Two Words: T-Rex Rodeo.
- And the awe-struck expression that Luffy and Usopp get when Cross declares such an act as "a Man's Romance".
- And Nami's opinion of the whole thing, with added Double Entendre:Nami: Hey, 'manly men!' If you're quite done worshiping Cross's manhood—!
Soundbite: HahahaHOOHOOHOOHEEHEEHEE!
- And Nami's opinion of the whole thing, with added Double Entendre:
- And the awe-struck expression that Luffy and Usopp get when Cross declares such an act as "a Man's Romance".
- Cross, Nami, and Usopp try to document everything that has happened so far on the island, only for Luffy to come in and ruin all their hard work. This just causes Cross to give up and declare the whole thing as "The Little Garden Affair".
Drum Island
- When Cross 'learns' from Luffy that they have to climb the Drum Rockies to get to a doctor:Cross: Sheer rock faces?
Luffy: Looks like it!
Cross: Inhospitable temperatures?
Usopp: I think I might have frostbite already, and that's just down here…
Cross: Ravenous beasts?
Soundbite: I heard ten SPECIES ON THE WAY HERE ALONE! WANTED TO EAT US ALIVE!
Cross: So… overall, it's a deathtrap?
Dalton: That's… a bit much, but accurate.
Cross: (grinning goofily)…Is it my birthday? - Cross has just been made aware of the fact that, due to the Primal Cholera he contracted on Little Garden, he's blurted out a lot about their adventures that he shouldn't know, and Sanji seems ready to interrogate him. But the conversation isn't as serious as Cross initially thinks, due to Sanji's volatile emotional state.
- First, he starts off with a face that is, quote, 'serious as a nuclear winter,' Sanji calmly demands that Cross tell him everything he knows about one person that he mentioned in his sleep… Princess Shirahoshi.
- Then he goes into a full Category-5 Love Hurricane when thinking about the Mermaid Princess, and it doesn't abate even as Cross tells him she's 20,000 feet under the sea.Cross: …Wait, what!?
Sanji: (love mode) You heard me! Tell me about the Mermaid Princess! The most beautiful creature beneath the seas, an exquisite example of feminine form, truly Aphrodite incarnate! You have to tell me all about her, I beg of you, I'll do whatever I have to! Just tell me about her! - Then he switches to burning fury when Cross says that a villainous stalker is after her, forcing her to stay in solitary confinement.
- And when Cross informs him that Shirahoshi is no older than 14/15, he instantly changes to hit the Despair Event Horizon. His expression sends Cross into a laughing fit.Sanji: WHHHYYYYY!? CURSE YOU, FATHER TIME! CUUUURSE YOOOOUUUU!
- And finally, once he gets over that, it's back to his no-nonsense understanding of the true gravity of the situation.
- You kinda feel sorry for Chopper when you remember his acute sense of smell and find out he has the unenviable duty of changing Cross's bedpan, especially when one of the symptoms of Primal Cholera is otherworldly diarrhea.
- Just about any time Kureha pulls a Right Behind Me on Cross and scares the living daylights out of him.
- When Wapol eats himself to compress all his mass into a smaller form, Cross attempts to send him flying with a well-placed kick. Specifically, the Epic Fail and the very understandable Angrish it results in.Cross: YEOW! HIPPO-HOPPING MOTHER-TRUCKING BLACK-HEARTED JACKSHIT! HOW MUCH DO YOU FUCKING WEIGH!?
Soundbite: Hippo-hopping?
Cross: I AM NOT COHERENT WHEN I'M HURT! - Cross stating that not even the World Government would be inhuman enough to let a chin like Wapol's exist.
- Kureha gags Soundbite with a container of salt, but after giving him back, she reveals it was actually sugar. After shattering the gag, Soundbite says...something.Nami: I...lost track of half of what he was saying halfway through, though I think he managed to insult your family back to its...tenth generation?
Vivi: I know twelve languages, but...I didn't recognize a third of what he said.
Kureha: KAK KAK KAK! Either way, he's got quite the mouth on him! - In order to clear his hospital bill, Cross bets Kureha he can get the armory door open (Luffy destroyed the key by accident) within five minutes, without leaving his bed. When Kureha foolishly takes the bet, Soundbite opens the communication channel and Cross says two words that cause Kureha to lose all hope of winning the bet.Cross: Hey, Luffy!
- When Kureha alters the deal, telling Cross to pray she doesn't alter it further, Soundbite mimics the Darth Vader breathing noise.
- Introducing Usopp to Chopper leads to Cross calling him a long-nosed Tengu-sniper. The novelty forces Usopp to concede that it's Actually Pretty Funny.
- And once again, while tightrope-skiing with Luffy's rubber arm down the cables leading down from Drum Mountain, the crew is exasperated with Cross's adrenaline making him Laughing Mad.
- Even during the emotionally-charged scene that is Cross's Reveal to his origins, there is still a funny Mood Whiplash moment when Nami, Sanji, and Zoro have serious questions for Cross: how rich are they going to get, how many other beauties will they see, and how many great fights will they get into?
- Also, if Cross knew just how far Nami's Money Fetish went, he might not have led her on with all the potential riches they would get in the future... given that doing so caused her to literally climax on the spot.
- Soundbite beating Cross on getting the party started.
Alabasta
- Soundbite's first use of the (unnamed-at-the-time) Gastro-Phony technique, that leaves Zoro, Usopp, Chopper and Luffy suffering what amounts to hangovers.
- Not that it helps Cross win his spar against Zoro.
- Cross is unsure why Calling Your Attacks works at all, but Zoro tells him it's effectively Kiai. His first suggestions don't go over well with Soundbite.
- Cross advising Nami to look at the manual of the weapon that Usopp is making for her before using it, or better yet, actually have input in its construction. Nami goes into the kitchen, and Usopp comes out a Bandage Mummy.
- Cross's suggestion for Nami's encouragement for Usopp: Five Cast Iron.
- Cross's first look at Mr. 2 Bon Clay... and it's not a good look. Bon Clay thinks that Cross has a problem with okamas, but Cross just has a problem with his legs.Cross: If you're going to walk around with your legs bare, then for the love of god, invest in some razors!
- Cross doing all he can to prevent Bon Clay from copying the faces of the Straw Hats, but in the end, Bon Clay walks away with one copied face... Cross's own.
- When Usopp asks Vivi why she didn't recognize Bon Clay as Mr. 2, Vivi said that she never met him before.Vivi: But... I did hear rumors... that he's a flamboyant crossdresser, that he has swans on his coat and the words 'Okama Way' are printed on his back.
Luffy, Usopp and Zoro: Are you blind?
Cross: Would you like me to suggest some memory exercises for you now, or would you rather wait until after you forget some touchy nation's customs?- And then Cross reassures them that Bon Clay is not going to be much of a problem because Sanji is going to be his opponent and he didn't copy Nami's face.Cross: When Luffy says he stole my face, he means that the okama, Mr. 2, can use his Devil Fruit to turn into, well, me. Seeing how you'll be the one fighting him in the future, chances are that he'll try using it in order to trick you. Do you think you're prepared for that?
Sanji: Cross, I will not hesitate even a second before kicking your ass into a broken, bleeding pulp. Of this you have my word.
(Beat)
Cross: You mean... kick his ass... wearing my face... right?
Sanji: That too.
- And then Cross reassures them that Bon Clay is not going to be much of a problem because Sanji is going to be his opponent and he didn't copy Nami's face.
- Cross catches up with Luffy moments after the latter sends Ace and Smoker flying. Several funny moments result.
- This exchange:Cross: Christ on a pikestaff, Luffy, are you a human, a monster, or some freak force of nature?
Soundbite: D: all of the above!
Cross: ...That makes way too much sense. - After Smoker plows Cross AND Ace into the ground, Cross explains to Luffy who Smoker is and that they've met him. It STILL takes a minute for Luffy to recognize Smoker...and grabs Cross telling him they need to run.
- Cross stopping in the middle of his scream to say hi to Smoker, before resuming his scream.
- While being dragged along after Luffy, Cross starts to say something...before gurgling in terror and urging Luffy to run faster when he sees a furious Smoker catching up.
- After dodging Tashigi and darting UP the side of a building, Luffy asks Cross how he's doing.Cross: My arm feels like it's about to be twisted out of its socket, my legs aren't in much better condition, and I think I'm either going to vomit, pass out, mutiny, or some unholy combination of all three, but apart from that? I'm greeeeat.
Soundbite: Somebody STOP THE world, I wanna get off...
Luffy: So you're okay then! That's good!
Cross: Do you only listen to every other word I say or something!? - Luffy, distracted by Cross snarking at Smoker, steps off a building and they plummet three stories to the ground. Cross realizes he didn't break any bones..
- Nami contacts Cross to tell him the Marines are in a frenzy and demands to know what he and Luffy did. Cross pleads "Innocence by Act of Luffy" and Nami accepts it as a valid explanation.
- Luffy grabs Cross again, this time by the ankle, and takes off running. Cross finds this easier, yet possibly more uncomfortable, and admits to being conflicted...before his head smacks a rock.
- Cross comes to and finds Luffy and Ace standing over him. He promptly punches Luffy in the face hard enough to trap his arm up to the elbow, much to Ace's amusement.Cross: Now help me before Luffy asphyxiates! God knows he didn't get enough air at birth as is...
Ace: Nah, I know for a fact Luffy chewed on the bars of his crib as a kid.
Cross: Lead paint?
Ace: He swears up and down that it tasted like chocolate.
Luffy: ut it 'id!
- This exchange:
- Cross explains why he didn't tell Luffy about Sabo before meeting Ace: if Luffy met Ace saying that someone he doesn't know is saying that their other brother is alive, Ace's Hair-Trigger Temper would burn the apparent conman alive before he could explain.Ace: Ah... well... I... I'm not that bad...
Luffy: Nah, it's actually a good reason. You'd totally do that.
Cross: My thoughts exactly.
Soundbite: PRETTY predictable!- It's even better since that is literally what Ace did not two minutes earlier. To Cross. Who he's talking to and still has burns on his throat.
- Luffy uses Cross as a weapon against the Baroque Works goons.
- Ace tries to pull a Garp and catch a cannonball with his bare hands. It doesn't work. Luffy and Cross laugh hysterically. Ace loses his temper.Vivi: WHY THE HELL IS THE CITY ON FIRE!?
- Even better, Luffy, Cross, and Soundbite immediately throw Ace under the bus.
- And when Cross comments that the Mr. 1 pair and Mr. 2 wouldn’t have to do as much work to damage Nanohana, we get the first instance of Vivi only being a Technical Pacifist when it comes to him.
- Bit of Mood Whiplash, but after Cross's heart-to-heart with Ace, he goes and tells Luffy that Ace will die if he deals with Blackbeard alone, because Ace's macho pride isn't enough to make him keep that secret. Ace gets out a Curse Cut Short before Luffy yanks him out to subject him to a little brother's worry.
- But Ace gets his own back with his... vague instructions on how to learn Haki.Observation's Haki: Listen really hard.
Armament's Haki: Concentrate willpower really hard.
Conqueror's Haki: Hell if I know, I've always just gone with my f%cking gut!
- But Ace gets his own back with his... vague instructions on how to learn Haki.
- Frustrated at Ace's instructions, Cross immediately attacks a Kung-Fu Dugong as a guilt-free target... and gets his ass kicked six ways to Sunday.
- Not to mention Soundbite giving all the Dugongs stereotypical Chinese accents.Dugong: Bring it on, fu!
Cross: (to Soundbite) That's racist.
- Not to mention Soundbite giving all the Dugongs stereotypical Chinese accents.
- During their trek through the desert, Vivi says that there's nothing to worry about in the desert. As a Self-Insert, knowing Vivi's ditziness, and fully aware of what really lurks out there, Cross has a very, very different opinion.Cross: Nothing, is that right?
Vivi: Ah... Yes, nothing! Why? What's this about!?
Cross: (very sickly grin) Ooooh, nothing, nothing... I'm just thinking that the story I read must have been in a different desert. After all, such a safe desert such as this one wouldn't have such dangers as hallucinogenic cacti that could throw Luffy into a rampage, hmm?
Vivi: (freezes) Ah...
Cross: Nor would this fine, fine ecosystem house such deadly, deadly creatures as the spider known as the Desert Strawberry, hmmmm?
Vivi: (sweating) I, um, ah...
Cross: And of course, those vicious, vicious Bandit Birds that con people, ah, no, not people, (points at Luffy) Suckers, birds that con suckers, out of their supplies and leave them to die of starvation, must be from the other Alabastan Kingdom, HMM?
Vivi: (blue face of fear) I-I-I, ah, t-that is to say-!
Cross: And of course, the TEN-TON MAN-EATING LIZARD MONSTERS THAT BURY THEMSELVES IN THE FUCKING SAND MUST BE AS CUDDLY AS FUCKING PUPPIES, HMMMM!?- And that last bit cues the entrance of one of said Sandora Dragons. Unfortunately for it, Cross is too frustrated to care, and sics the Monster Trio on it.Cross: SCREW OFF, SCALE-ASS, NOBODY ASKED YOU!
- And that last bit cues the entrance of one of said Sandora Dragons. Unfortunately for it, Cross is too frustrated to care, and sics the Monster Trio on it.
- When Luffy charges for shade, Cross takes the opportunity to go desert-sledding... and ends up with sand in his face.
- Cross dealing with Soundbite's (who is sitting in the water barrel) cheek by giving said barrel a good shake.
- Cross dealing with the Bandit Birds: when they try Faking the Dead, he tells Luffy that Sanji could easily make food out of them, and when Luffy leaves he points out to the Birds that they can leave... or suffer. The Birds take the hint.
- Cross's request for sand face-protection has three moments:
- When Vivi forgets yet another desert danger.
- When Cross gets the feeling of Kakashi Hatake while wearing said face-cover.
- When Usopp gives him magnifying goggles instead of regular eye-protecting goggles.
- Another of Soundbite's voices to make Talking Animals: Eyelashes the camel now speaks like Achmed the Dead Terrorist.
- And Cross's goggles manage to protect him well enough from Eyelashes's spit. Unfortunately, Eyelashes has worse than that to throw at him.
- And Luffy mistaking it for chocolate.
- YMMV, given how undeserved it was, and how much of a Jerkass Eyelashes comes off as.
- And Cross's goggles manage to protect him well enough from Eyelashes's spit. Unfortunately, Eyelashes has worse than that to throw at him.
- Cross telling Toto that claiming to be Vivi's suitor is not worth committing suicide by Kohza.
- Zoro whooping, yes, whooping, when he finally sees Rain Dinners. It takes a moment for the rest to believe that it's actually Zoro.
- Cross joining Luffy and Usopp on their water run, and thus having a conversation with Smoker and Tashigi in the process. When the conversation predictably goes south, Cross Invokes the Spit Take that Luffy and Usopp give the two Marines, then adds on to it by making them wear the giant mugs as hats.
- And why is Smoker so annoyed with Alabasta?Smoker: It's so hot that I'm sweating blood, my coat is carrying around half my weight in sand, and for all that Alabasta's culture is rich and vibrant, these people can't roll a cigar worth shit.
- And why is Smoker so annoyed with Alabasta?
- Cross is trying to figure out how to get Tashigi to follow him, and Soundbite providing the solution: stamp on Tashigi's Berserk Button of insulting her womanhood by way of chase music... specifically, "Sexy and I Know It"!
- Cross executing a Bavarian Fire Drill on a group of Marines... by way of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman.
- Although it comes in a fairly dramatic moment, Tashigi's muttering of Marine propaganda is good for a chuckle:Tashigi: 'Enlist in the Navy,' they said; 'Visit exotic locations!' they said; 'Look at all the shirtless, muscular sailors we have!' they said. I never signed up to be chased by white flash floods in the desert.
- No famous voice for the giant crab Scissors, though, Soundbite just gives him a stereotypical Spanish accent.
- Nami and Vivi's reactions when they find out that Cross told Sanji to get them the dancer's outfits on purpose... and exactly what they are going to be used for with regards to Scissors.
- And when Scissors begins to sink in the middle of the river, Cross tries to give him another inspirational burst by ordering Hot Girl-On-Girl Action. Nami and Vivi disagree. Violently.
- Cross Invoking an Out-of-Character Alert on Mr. 2:Cross: HEY, 'USOPP', EMPORIO IVANKOV IS AN OVERRATED HACK!
Mr. 2: THAT'S A BARE-FACED LIE! (stricken look) - The injuries Vivi inflicts on Mr. 2: A punch in the throat for attacking Usopp and stealing his face, a punch him in the nose for trying to topple her kingdom, and finally, a Groin Attack for his outfit on behalf of women everywhere.
- Cross confronting one of the Baroque Works plants, who has the organization's Jolly Roger tattooed on his arm. When Cross asks what prompted such an idiotic decision, the plant answers with a combination of boredom, alcohol, and the sheer anonymity of the organization.
- This exchange:Cross: A homicidal otter with dual shell-blades and a vulture armed with high-caliber machineguns stole my talking snail and then tried to kill me when I jumped off a building to catch up to them! (Beat) What the hell has my life become?
Nami: Madness and insanity, Cross, madness and insanity. - Cross bringing up the last time Zoro didn't rest while healing and was thus subjected to Chopper's tender mercies:Cross: If these wounds don't lay you out, then I can guarantee you that Chopper will. Do you want him to break out the good drugs again, hmm? Do you?
Zoro: (shuddering and looking panicked) So many colors and I couldn't hit any of them... - In the aftermath of the Alubarna battle, Sanji finds himself trying to avoid people complaining about walls he'd kicked down during the battle because he got lost. Cross and Usopp love the hypocrisy, only to find themselves running into people complaining about a bar (where Cross fought the Unluckies) and the ruins outside the city (where Usopp and Chopper fought the Mr. 4 pair).
- And Soundbite blackmails them into giving him snacks for his silence.
- Cross and Soundbite Trolling the Marines who are trying to intercept him going into the palace by pretending they’re ventriloquists entertaining Princess Vivi.
- Soundbite torturing the imprisoned Unluckies with Vogon Poetry.
- Lassoo joins the Straw Hats, and Soundbite continues his shtick by giving him the voice of Goofy ... and Muttley's laugh.
- And when Cross introduces him to the crew, Usopp asks him to shake paws to demonstrate his loyalty. Lassoo obliges... and then promptly chomps Usopp's butt once his back is turned.
- Lassoo gives Nami Too Much Information about how sea-going dogs relieve themselves.
- Zoro goes the wrong way on the way to the palace dining hall. Luffy tries, only for him to get it wrong too. Cross corrects them both...only for him to get it wrong too.
- At the feast, Cross conspires with a maid to trick Luffy into eating West Blue Ilusian Peppers, to the amusement of Usopp, who also spiced his own food. It works beautifully. To Cross's disbelief, Luffy goes right back to eating, despite how much his mouth hurts, earning him a Dope Slap from Nami.
- And when Cross tries to stop Luffy by grabbing his arm, he Remembers Too Late just how strong Luffy is.
- Cross, having had enough of Luffy's mealtime antics threatens to turn him into a Greninja... and follows up.Cross: Can I make the obvious tongue-tied joke, or would that be too cheesy?
Usopp: If it had just been a simple knot, you'd probably be slapped at least once. But that? Make all the bad jokes you want, that was gold! - Cross can't seem to win when it comes to his Plot Allergy, even when Nami tries to warn him.
- Chaka and Pell trade barbs about animalistic behaviors in their Zoan forms (self-licking and preening) respectively, before Igaram tops them by commenting on the increase in flea and lice population.
- After the iconic bath peeping scene, and Nami's Happiness Punch retaliation, Cross (who refused to join in) has this to say about it.Cross: Either you're sporting something really impressive there, Nami, or these guys are pathetic!
Sanji: WHO ARE YOU CALLING PATHETIC, CROSS!?
Zoro: You, swirly brow.- And then when Cross explains that the reason he didn't was that he respects Nami too much to do that, Nami asks him to come up after promising to not give him an eyeful of her. Cross reluctantly does, only for Nami to give him an eyeful of Vivi instead.
- And given Vivi's unusual hair color (for Cross's world), the first thing out of Cross's mouth is asking whether that's natural or whether she's really dedicated with the hair dye. Vivi's stool, meet Cross's cranium.
- During the aftermath of that event with Cross and Vivi still incensed at each other, Nami tries to defuse the situation:Nami: Girls, girls. You're both pretty, now do you think you could please knock it the hell off?
Cross & Vivi: You're the cause of this in the first place!
Nami: I, ah, just wanted to give Cross a reward for his chivalry, you know? A gift from the goodness of my heart, is that so wrong!?
Cross: Even if I did believe you had a heart, I am a confident male who actually respects women! Why the hell would I want that as a freaking reward!?
Nami: Ehh… Whoopsy? Guess it's a good thing I'm not charging you for that, huh?
Vivi: Why the hell would you be charging him for looking at me!?- And then Usopp tries to intervene. He gets a concussion for his efforts.
- And then when Cross explains that the reason he didn't was that he respects Nami too much to do that, Nami asks him to come up after promising to not give him an eyeful of her. Cross reluctantly does, only for Nami to give him an eyeful of Vivi instead.
- Bentham (Mr. 2) giving Vivi a hug to try and cheer her up... while wearing her boobs.
- Bentham's dramatic Power of Friendship speech over how he will sacrifice himself to the marines to by the Straw Hats some time to get out of Alabasta with Vivi.Bentham: But yes, my friends! It is the only option! But, do not weep for me, my friends! For though this swan may never fly again and though I may be destined for the depths of hell itself… At least our friendship shall last eternal! FOR FRIENDSHIP!
Luffy, Chopper, & Usopp: FOR FRIENDSHIP!
A shipload of Baroque Works soldiers on a swan-shaped ship: FOR FRIENDSHIP!
Zoro: WHERE THE HELL DID YOU MORONS COME FROM!? - During the SBS, Cross tries to explain to the world how they're not stereotypical pirates who murder and rape, but keeps getting prevented from saying they don't steal. Nojiko and Genzo don't need any names or voices to know the one stopping him is Nami.Nojiko: (falls to her knees, laughing)
Genzo: (trying to strangle the snail) SHOW SOME SHAME, WOMAN! - Cross using the SBS to pass a Public Secret Message to a certain blond amnesiac Revolutionary, who is also closely associated with a "very prominent and cuddly Koala". The Koala in question is not amused.
- The introduction of the Kung-Fu Dugongs, Boss and his apprentices to the Straw Hats.
- When they and an entire crew of Dugong pirates emerge on a sunken wreck, even Cross is freaked out by the thought of Davy Jones rising from the deep.
- Boss being enamored with the idea of "a Man's Romance".
- Vivi almost smothering one of the Dugongs with a nostalgic hug.
- Cross realizing just who the four dugong apprentices are based off of, and Soundbite's suggestion that they be called the Teenage Dugong Warrior Squad makes him go into a fit of Head Desking.
- To say nothing of Raphey actually being a girl.
- And after that, Cross asks if there's anything else that could blindside him. Cue a trussed-up Carue being tossed out of the galley by Nico Robin.
- When Sanji learns that the terrible thing that Luffy did to Robin was save her life when she wanted to die, he comments "I am...conflicted".
Sky Island Saga
Ocean Trips + Great Octopus Shogunate
- Cross's Get A Hold Of Yourself Man conk to Chopper with a Rolling Pin of Doom, in order to snap him out of his new Mad Scientist alter-ego.
- Although Cross doesn't initially believe that the enhanced intelligence of Chopper's alter-ego is worth it, he changes his tune quickly once he hears that he had improved the duration of his Rumble Balls by 67% and halved the cooldown time.
- Usopp and Sanji's Side Bet over whether Cross is actively trying to kill himself. And Cross wants a piece of the cut.
- Cross and Soundbite giving Robin the willies about his potential revenge sometime in the future, using a cue from Uncle Phil.
- A look at the Red-Hair Pirates as they listen to Cross's SBS.
- Lucky Roux decides to get his breakfast of Sea-King meat while he listens, and brings along one of the crew's rookies. Why? Well, he needs bait, doesn't he? The rookie gets sober in a hurry... not that it helps against Roux.
- Soundbite pulling his first instance of interrupting Cross's efforts to start the SBS.
- When Yasopp hears that Usopp had joined the Straw Hats, he does a Spit Take... and he and Shanks promptly get into a fight. Yasopp is pissed (yet proud) because Shanks's protégé dragged his son into the crazy life of pirating. Shanks is pissed because Yasopp's Spit Take wasted good booze.
- And Benn giving them both Megaton Punches to stop them.
- And Usopp's heartfelt promise to his father is interrupted by Soundbite calling Usopp a daddy's boy. Usopp tries to climb over Cross to turn the snail into a trophy.
- Usopp pissing Cross off with how quickly he diagnoses Lassoo's sneezing problem, Chopper yanking himself out of his Mad Scientist mode before anyone conks him, and Usopp joking about said mode, leading to Chopper conking him.
- Soundbite's first test of his Gastro-Blast technique flash-cooking a slab of meat... and propelling him all the way up to the ship's flag.
- Not to mention Sanji gushing about the technique's cooking effectiveness before jumping up to save Soundbite.
- Nami's Squeeing over Robin's gift of jewels is stymied by Vivi's interjection. And Robin doesn't make it any easier for her either.
- Cross's description of the Training from Hell Zoro is putting him through, and his impression of how easy Zoro himself would find it:
- Zoro's reaction to this is asking where he can find an elephant, because it sounds like a good training program.
- Cross begging on his knees for Vivi to forgive him, only for Vivi to admit that giving Cross the cold shoulder about Robin was just her giving him a hard time.
- And in the middle of her requests to let into the loop about future events, she also slips in a request for Cross to take over the ladies' toilet cleaning until they reach their final destination. Let me say that again: she tricks Cross into taking over the ladies' turns to clean the toilet until they reach RAFTEL. Cross doesn't understand how it happened. Though he may have gotten out of this with Merry no longer being a ship.
- Tsuru Tempting Fate with just how much Cross knows and how much damage he can cause.
- And Sengoku getting pissed with Garp Laughing Himself Sick every time the SBS comes on.
- Zoro suggesting the name MI3 for the covert Marine group aimed to restore Justice to the Marines by bringing down the World Government. Tashigi finds it stupid, but Smoker overrules her.
- Cross's response to Usopp's screaming about a Kraken attack. And Nami trying to throttle him immediately after.Cross: Huh… that's odd, he's two years early.
- The ENTIRE confrontation with the Octopus Shogunate, really.
- The exchange that starts it all off:Cross: Hey, Usopp, good news! It's not the Kraken! Not only are his tentacles way bigger, but he's brown, not red!
Usopp: Really? Oh, well, that's alright, then, I guess we'll just leave WHY THE HELL DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE GODDAMN KRAKEN LOOKS LIKE!?
Cross: Would you believe me if I said I was an avid fan of oceanology?
Usopp: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ONE DAY, CROSS!
Carue: AND AH'LL HELP! - Nami beats up Luffy and Usopp for being condescending to her, causing Boss to decide to up his disciplinary measures. His students cower.
- Vivi offering to act as translator for the Octopus Sign language, saying that after mastering Long-Arm Sign Language in a day, nothing fazes her.Vivi: Fifty different words for theft, not a one for honest...
- A minor one, but Robin calmly proving Nami wrong when the latter says none of them have enough limbs to use Octopus Sign Language.
- Due to Vivi not fully examining the translation book, their attempted message of peace and friendship instead accidentally insults Shogun Octavio's nation, ancestry, progeny, taste in music, fashion sense, and...something Vivi doesn't recognize, and Robin assumes is a typo. This incenses the entire nation, and the revelation of how badly she screwed up causes poor Vivi to go catatonic.
- While Octavio could have shrugged off most of those insults, it was whatever the final one was that makes him murderously angry. What was it? Surfing. Cue Cross AND Soundbite doing a Flat "What" not once, but TWICE. Also, remembering where Vivi is from explains why she's not familiar with the word.
- Cross decides to do another SBS...only for Soundbite to once again start it first.
- The sheer number of Flat Whats among the SBS's listeners when Cross reveals Luffy has to win a surfing contest against an octopus...and Cross insisting that he's Not Making This Up.
- Ace's reaction is particularly funny. He's not surprised that Luffy's gotten into an honor duel. He's been expecting one sooner or later. The surfing contest against an octopus shogun part? That leaves his jaw on the floor.
- Cross and Sanji engage in banter about the match, most of it deliberately stating the obvious to emphasize how utterly screwed they are.
- Despite their deaths being assured, Nami sets up a betting booth for the contest. With Vivi and Robin acting as reluctant translators.
- Cross and Boss attempt to assist Luffy in becoming a good surfer, the former giving advice he gained from years of studying under masters, and the latter passing on a secret Kung-Fu Dugong formula that MAKES the drinker a master surfer. Once Luffy is out of earshot, Cross admits that he only took a couple novice lessons, and that everything he said was total BS, and Boss admits his "Elixir" was basically seaweed alcohol. Much to the horror of Usopp and Chopper.
- Mikey of the Teenage Dugong Warrior Squad actually thought there WAS a Secret Elixir...earning him a Dope Slap from Raphey.
- Luffy's reaction to the "Elixir", practically exploding as he yells he can FEEL it working!Cross: Holy shit, I think he just went Super-Saiyan.
- This exchange between Cross and Sanji when Luffy, the hyperactive, clumsy Devil Fruit-using fool who has never surfed in his life absolutely DESTROYS Octavio in the surfing contest.Cross: Sanity is dead, isn't it?
Sanji: Yes, Cross, yes it is. - Buggy's reaction to the above statements.
- Nami admits to being conflicted. Until Robin shows her how much money they made off the betting booth.Nami: O CAPTAIN, MY CAPTAIN!
- As the Straw Hats depart, Vivi offers to look up how to say goodbye in Octopus Sign Language. She gets a Dope Slap from Nami, Zoro, Cross, and Boss.
- The exchange that starts it all off:
- With the situation FINALLY dealt with, Robin says they can return to a semblance of normality, only for Cross to start giggling maniacally just as something hits the deck, causing Vivi to call her out on it. When Nami sides with Vivi, Robin pouts. Cross excitedly builds up the moment before directing Robin's gaze upwards. With forced calm, Robin promises to watch what she says from now on.
- Cross, of course, finds the whole thing hilarious, to the distress of the crew.
Jaya
- For the uninitiated? The above involved a skeleton falling out of the blue. Followed by an entire galleon. Resulting in Vivi throttling Cross on general principles.
- Donny posits that the galleon fell onto them because it was thrown up by a Knock-Up Stream. Cross, knowing the truth, objects. All to the tune of an Ace Attorney skit.
- And Donny resignedly playing along. And Robin acting as judge.
- Until Nami finally kills the mood.
- Boss wonders why he and his crew aren't salvaging the wreck themselves. A breaching Sea King answers his question.
- When Masira shows up, we get this Shout-Out exchange:
- Masira: Are we on top of the place where the ship sank?
Masira's crew: Aye-aye, captain, sir!
Soundbite: Ohhhh…
* Cross shuts him up*
Cross: Not a word about the yellow thing that must not be named… at least, not until we meet the talking starfish.
- Then when Masira realizes who Cross is, he reveals that he and his brother are big fans of the SBS. When Chopper asks why he didn't recognize their Jolly Roger then, Masira says that he thought they were fans too.
- Nami threatens to strangle Cross when he talks about the giant sea turtle, only for Chopper to stop her because as much as Cross deserves it, she's likely to cause lasting vertebrae damage. Vivi proposes an alternative: Robin using her powers to chop Cross in the throat. Cross swears that he'll get them all back later.
- When the giant turtle actually shows up, the crew's panicking is predictable. Cross is nonchalant about it only being the second biggest turtle they've seen, and Chopper begins plans for a giant-sized emetic before Cross whacks him out of it again.
- Cross's cue for the Sea Clouds appearing doesn't immediately go off. Even Robin is unnerved.
- But when Luffy and the others are spit back up on cue, Cross begins to celebrate before Soundbite puts a stop to it.
- And when the giant shadows appear in the sky, Cross says that there are people up in the sky casting those shadows. The crew is frozen in sheer terror until one of the giant shadows twitches, which causes Soundbite to let out a falsetto Girly Scream and for everyone to panic.
- And later, while Cross is laughing his ass off at their terror, Vivi proceeds to kick him repeatedly in the ribs while letting loose a Cluster F-Bomb... sorta.Vivi: JACKASS! BASTARD! SCUMBUCKET! UNCULTURED POTATO! INCONSIDERATE! GODDAMN! ASSHOLE!
- And ends with another broken nose for Cross.
- And later, while Cross is laughing his ass off at their terror, Vivi proceeds to kick him repeatedly in the ribs while letting loose a Cluster F-Bomb... sorta.
- Nami going from pissed to love for Cross when she considers having a Waver of her own.
- When the crew is in range of Jaya, Cross flips off Van Auger from a distance...and then quickly steps to the side when the sniper retaliates.
- A look at the Whitebeards listening to the SBS, still a little miffed at Cross for that crack against their captain's liver.
- Cross revealing why he's making another broadcast: he was messing with a Flame Dial that did... something... that got Vivi, Nami and Sanji pissed at him.
- Cross declaring the one thing that would get the Whitebeards really, really pissed at someone... stealing their sake. Even the Whitebeards found that Actually Pretty Funny.
- Marco telling his brothers what Ace said were Luffy's chances of joining the Whitebeards: about as much as Whitebeard going dry.
- Sandersonia, Marigold and the rest of the Kuja Pirates admitting their enjoyment of the spats between Hancock and Nyon.
- And when Nyon proceeds to praise Hancock (in order to explain away the suspicion of how she reacted to Cross condemning slavery), which gets all of the other Kuja exulting the Empress, she discreetly asks her snake for something to wash those words out of her mouth.
- While docked at Jaya, Usopp really wants someone strong to stay on the Merry with him, but all he gets are Leo, Donny, Mikey, Lassoo, and Chopper. And Carue. The latter objects to that.
- When Tashigi gets wind of Sengoku's Marine contingent sent after the Straw Hats, she tries to invoke a Failure Gambit by telling them that the Straw Hats have gone to a complete backwater place that Marine patrols actively avoid... Jaya.
- Cross and Soundbite's escape from the Unluckies:
- Cross's Oh, Crap! face when he finds the gun he stole is empty, and the objection from said gun's owner.Owner: You hooligan! Who the hell steals another man's pistol!?
Cross: Who doesn't load their fucking pistol in a pirate town!? - Cross finds himself and Mr. 13 surrounded by goons placing bets on whether or not he survives. Cross attempts to get the goons involved in the fight by claiming they were arguing about who the strongest of the Four Emperors is, and that Mr. 13 said Kaidou. EVERYONE present has an opinion, and the whole thing devolves into an island-wide brawl.
- Not that the attempt is successful in stopping Mr. 13, anyway.Soundbite: HE GOT OUT!
Cross: What!? The guy who grabbed him was five times his size!
Soundbite: Six, AND HE CAN'T play rock-paper-scissors ANYMORE!
- Not that the attempt is successful in stopping Mr. 13, anyway.
- Just the insult that Cross throws to Bellamy to get him to attack... and the resulting dodge that sends the spring man flying instead into Mr. 13 and into the opposite building.Cross: Excuse me, is it true that Doflamingo's spring-heeled dickweasel can be found here, or is this the wrong bar?
- Cross's Oh, Crap! face when he finds the gun he stole is empty, and the objection from said gun's owner.
- When Cross, Soundbite and Vivi come across the decimated mob of bounty hunters that had tried to attack the Merry, they all think they’re hallucinating. Usopp, one of said decimators, is not pleased.
- Completely upset at Luffy and Zoro's inactions against the Bellamy Pirates, coming across the battleground that is the Merry and being forced to deal with Chopper's Mad Scientist persona causes Nami to hit her Rage Breaking Point. Even Robin is left in Stunned Silence at her outburst.
- Raphey had thrown the bag of groceries up into the air to save it from Chopper's experiments. Unfortunately for her, Boss is the one to catch them.
- When Cross tries to convince Vivi to be the one to comfort Nami after her outburst instead of him, she flatly tells him to grow a pair.
- Cross telling Nami what he did to Bellamy and Sarquiss.
- The whole tunelessness of three singing monkeys (Luffy, Masira and Shoujou) is enough to cause both Cross and Nami to dive for the liquor cabinet.
- And then Soundbite tries to drown out the singing with even worse noise. See Shout-Out page for exactly what he used... ugh. Everyone wants Brain Bleach after that.
- The Straw Hats getting started on training.
- Leo asks Zoro for a spar. Cross contemplates how Zoro hasn't had a real swordsman spar in a long time. Leo realizes exactly what he's in for.Leo: I'm gonna diiiie…
- Donny's offer to help Nami with her staff-fighting. Nami makes promises to defend him if Sanji spots them.Donny: Oh, God, I'm gonna diiiie…
- Vivi and Carue ask for help breaking in their new weapons. Raphey and Mikey oblige... a little too eagerly. Vivi realizes she may not have thought this through.Carue: We'we gonna diiiie…
- Robin decides to go strength-train... by sitting back in a chair and letting her manifested arms do all the hard work. Cross calls her out on it.Robin: In your own words, 'Pi~ra~te'.
- Leo asks Zoro for a spar. Cross contemplates how Zoro hasn't had a real swordsman spar in a long time. Leo realizes exactly what he's in for.
- After the Idiot Trio's disastrous attempts to catch a South Bird, Soundbite takes over negotiations. A few moments of concentrated Hell Is That Noise, the jungle denizens hand over two South Birds, gift-wrapped.
- If the fact that the South Bird who delivered them sounds like Gilbert Gottfried isn't enough for you, the fact that the delivered birds sound, argue and are named after Isaiah Mustafa and Terry Crews certainly is.Isaiah: This is all your fault.
Terry: NO, IT'S YOUR FAULT! YOU JUST CAN'T ACCEPT THAT MY TRIBE IS THE BEST THERE IS IN THE FOREST! I'VE SAID IT A HUNDRED TIMES: JOIN BEAR GLOOOOOVE!
Isaiah: Never. The Swagger Tribe will forever hold dominance over the meatheads of Bear Glove due to the sheer lustre of our feathers, and the awe-inspiring beauty of our beaks. If anyone is to swap tribes, you should join Swagger.
Terry: BEAR GLOVE!
Isaiah: Swagger.
Terry: BEAR GLOVE!
Isaiah: Stop it.
Terry: NEVER!- And then they get Sanji and Zoro doing it.
- If the fact that the South Bird who delivered them sounds like Gilbert Gottfried isn't enough for you, the fact that the delivered birds sound, argue and are named after Isaiah Mustafa and Terry Crews certainly is.
- Cross thinking Luffy is actually Mr. 2 when he actually gets a good idea.
- Sanji hinting at how geeky he actually was in his younger years (which Cross hadn't got around to reading about yet).
- The Bellamy Pirates showing up to Cricket's. Cross and Soundbite take point.
- The Mood Whiplash that Bellamy has when Cross shows himself.
- When Sarquiss demands that they owe him a new knife, Soundbite has a comeback so burning that even his own crewmates laugh at it.Soundbite: BITE ME! YOU'RE BETTER OFF without that knife anyway! YOU NEEDED SOMETHING BIGGER TO compensate with!
- When Cross said that the crew's bounty increased seven-fold, Luffy thought that meant he now had a ฿37 million bounty.
- And when Masira tries to help by saying that the News Coos haven't arrived yet with the new bounties, Cross tells him that he's not helping.
- Tashigi panicking when Cross says, on the SBS, that her attempts to divert the Marine contingent actually sent them right at the Straw Hats. Within earshot of Smoker.
- Hannyabal forgetting his gas mask on Breakfast Burrito Tuesday. And Magellan likes his breakfast.
- When Sengoku realizes the Straw Hats are going to escape via a Knock-Up Stream, he calls the Marine fleet to tell them...before yelling that the high altitude of Marineford is not making him crazy.
Skypiea
- When Usopp tries to go swimming in the White Sea, Cross stops him... because he's not tethered and the wind could blow him away from the Merry when he goes swimming. Cross knows the real reason he asked for the tether, and the rest of the crew finally figures it out... right when the tether starts spooling out.
- And Cross keeps laughing even as Vivi tries to strangle him again.Vivi: THAT'S NOT FUNNY, JACKASS!
Soundbite: THEN WHY are we LAUGHI-I-ING!? HAHAHAHEEHEEHEEhohoho!
Vivi: ...Okay, maybe it's a little funny… BUT IT'S STILL NOT NICE!
- And Cross keeps laughing even as Vivi tries to strangle him again.
- Chopper psycho-boosts to blast away a sky-shark, but manages to get a grip on himself before anyone else can do it for him. Luffy, Cross, and Mikey are all disappointed.
- When he finally gets back on the ship, an angry Usopp asks if Cross would like such a joke played on him, only to remember that he probably would. Cross goes to get his bathing suit, but Nami puts a stop to that.
- Carue reveals that Kung-Fu Dugongs as Mix-and-Match Critters actually are descended from sea turtles and manatees that... yeah.
- Lassoo using Cani-Slick on Wiper, and the Monster Trio in the process.
- Upon learning that Cross neglected to tell the crew that there were other options besides the Knock-Up Stream, an angry Nami hurls him off the Merry and into the White Sea.
- Cross: OVERREACT MUCH?
Nami: GO DROWN, JACKASS!
Cross: LATER! FOR NOW, THROW ME A LINE ALREADY!
- Then, after Cross explains why he didn't tell the crew about the other options (they wouldn't be able to get away from Sengoku's taskforce and Cross knew there were other options, he didn't know what or where they were. And while the Knock-Up Stream is an all-or-nothing gamble for the lives of the crew (that Cross was prepared for), it was noted that taking the other routes would almost certainly have led to a few casualties), Cross looks back at Wiper, detecting him being smug under his mask and is the middle of asking Wiper what he's so smug about when Vivi directs Robin to chop Cross in the throat again.
- Soundbite's voices for Pierre: a stereotypical French accent, and then the voice of Twilight Sparkle.
- And then Isaiah perching on Pierre's head and going "I'm on a horse". Cross immediately starts Head Desking.
- We see that Kizaru has a habit of shooting his Transponder Snail to wake it up. Unfortunately, said shot has a habit of going right through the wall and shooting the unfortunate Vice Admiral on the other side.
- While Vivi is upset for going into Skypiea without paying and thus getting into more trouble, Cross gets her to lighten up by chucking a cloud-ball at her, immediately getting Sanji on his case.
- Although Conis's cloud fox Su only gets the un-iconic voice of Vulpix, she more than makes up for it with her traits of Lady Swears-a-Lot and Little Miss Snarker. Much to Conis's dismay.
- When introducing the Flame Dial to the Straw Hats, Nami and Vivi clamp down on Cross's shoulders, reminding him of a certain Noodle Incident that came when Cross found a Flame Dial in the St. Briss's wreckage. Conis immediately understands what happened, and Su gives a brief insight into what happened: Clothing Damage.
- With Su in attendance, Soundbite begins singing What Does The Fox Say until Cross shuts him up.
- All of Cross's cues for the Indiana Jones-style booby traps... even if the Rolling Boulder of Doom shows up late.
- Su proceeds to maul Cross's face off for his words, despite Conis's efforts. Cross orders Soundbite to use Gastro-Phony on her... Remembering Too Late what the victim ends up doing.
- And then they come across the Inevitable Waterfall. Cross is the only one not surprised.Cross: Oh, come on, don't tell me you didn't see the 'inevitable waterfall' cliché a mile off.
Su: (whimpering) I hate you, Cross.
Everyone else: JOIN THE CLUB!- This time, when Su wants to maul Cross, Conis doesn't stop her.
- Everyone commenting on how Satori looks like a cream puff. Cross even refers to him as 'Pillsbury'.
- All of Satori's Oh, Crap! moments:
- When Cross uses Lassoo to turn the place into a 3D billiard table.
- When Lassoo hits him with both of his Trick Bullets.
- Right before Luffy lands a Home-Run Hitter.
- Leo goes from calm to panicked when Cross advises him to never mention the words "Student Rivalry" to Zoro.
- Cross gets Kamakiri to convince Wiper to form an alliance with the Straw Hats. Upon meeting Soundbite and Su and realizing how similar they are to Aisa, Kamakiri hastily reconsiders.
- The alliance meeting between the Shandians and the Straw Hats. Kamakiri, Laki, and Aisa hit it off immediately with the Straw Hats, leaving a horrified Wiper in the role of Only Sane Man. Until he too gives up and joins in a Drinking Contest with Boss, Zoro, and Nami.
- The Straw Hat men lamenting on Nami and Robin's naïveté on not having a bonfire while camping.
- If none of his previous declarations of such had stuck before, Cross of all people finally throws in the towel on logic when Soundbite gives Boss Wolf the voice of...The Fonz.
- Cross tells a creepy ghost story about Davy Jones, so effectively that even Zoro, Wiper, and Robin are unnerved. Then Davy Jones himself shows up. The result? Sanji and Boss end up in a tree cartoon-cat style; Vivi and Nami cling to each other, shrieking in terror, Chopper, Usopp, Carue, and Pierre pass out, foaming at the mouth; Conis faints, Zoro, Gan Fall, and the Shandians scramble hopelessly for their weapons, and even Luffy and Robin are (partially) terrified. Then everyone realizes it was Cross playing a prank on them. Zoro, Wiper, Robin and Gan Fall are among those Laughing Themselves Sick.
- And then Cross gets himself beat up by everyone who isn't laughing. He still thinks it was Worth It.
- Cross is once again beaten to the punch of starting the SBS...this time by SuCross: Exact-SONNUVA BITCH! NOT EVEN BY THE DAMN SNAIL THIS TIME!
Lassoo: Leave my mother out of this! - During Chapter 29's SBS Broadcast, Soundbite engages in banter with Su, and upon realizing there are effectively two Soundbites, Smoker and T-Bone start searching for alcohol, while Hina is glad she already has some on hand.
- Just the sheer ridiculousness of this exchange that doesn't even get Lampshaded as A Rare Sentence because that's just their lives now:"Personally, I still think it's incredible. A long-lost city of gold in the sky, apparently watched over by a cruel and despotic 'god' who can fling down lightning at a whim. Just when you think the world can't get any more ridiculous—"
"It thwows yah anothah cuhveball!" Carue finished with a snicker.
"As the duck said." - Remember the absolutely epic Oh, Crap! face Enel made in canon? Cross got a picture of it.
- And the bug-eyed face he made when Luffy kicked him in the gut.
- The normally cool-headed Cricket going Laughing Mad when he hears the Golden Bell, which is being broadcasted on the SBS, meaning that the entire world now knows that Noland was telling the truth.Cricket: HA! IN YOUR FACE, FUCKERS! I WAS RIGHT THIS WHOLE TIME! NOW WHO'S THE FOOL?! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
- Conis lamenting the loss of Angel Island and her father, while her father is comforting her. Lampshaded by Su.Su: WILL YOU HURRY UP AND READ WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS SITUATION ALREADY!?
- Cross spends part of an SBS Broadcast fiddling with the buttons on his transceiver and when Doflamingo calls in, hangs up on him, repeatedly.
- Added hilarity when he finds the foghorn button.
- Finally, Cross figures out the controls that lets him blacklist Doflamingo's number. It's enough to leave the Warlord seething in the midst of his Conqueror's Haki, which Sugar just manages to sit out of the range of. Monet isn't so lucky.
- Law stating that he can replace a ruined kidney with his eyes closed. Shachi, his patient, is distinctly uncomfortable with where Law's going with this.
- And when Shachi asks to be closed up while they listen to the show, Law just puts his surgical tray over the cavity instead.
- Thanks to hearing about T-Bone joining MI3, thus making it MI4, Cross successfully gets Nami to admit that standing up to Eneru was badass, not stupid, much to her chagrin.
- And when Cross decides to hint at the truth, knowing how fantastical it is, Tashigi decides to hang up the call before more of her sanity is lost.
- While Cross is thanking Zoro for the Training from Hell that managed to make him tough enough to survive Enel's Electric Torture, the following conversation occurs.Cross: I'll be back and better than ever so long as you keep putting the screws to me like there's no tomorrow! What the fuck just came out of my mouth?
Soundbite: YOU HEARD HIM, NO TAKE-BACKSIES!
Zoro: Whatever you say, 'Cross'! Well, see you later! (heads back to the party)
Chopper: Did I hear someone trying to circumvent DOCTOR'S ORDERS?! (Chopper and Cross proceed to give chase)
Cross: YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW, SIX-SWORD STYLE! YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THAT I DIDN'T SAY THAT! YOU KNOW IT! - Zoro giving a Call-Back when he suggests that Cross ask Chopper for painkillers if he's that much in pain. Soundbite Lampshades it.Cross: (shuddering and looking panicked) So many colors and none of them would listen...
- Just the whole incident of the Skypieans gifting the crew a gigantic pillar of pure gold.
- While the crew is panicking about being attacked by a giant cannon, Vivi, Zoro and Cross just sits down and begins chewing on some jerky... until Nami throttles Cross for not running.
- And Cross using the foghorn to snap them all out of it.
- The dawning moment where Nami realizes that Cross is fulfilling his original promise to make her beyond rich, and when it hits her exactly what the Skypieans were gifting them, she gives Cross a Big Damn Kiss... before proceeding to do the same to Robin.
- And Soundbite proceeds to do an impression of George Takei.Soundbite: Ooooh myyyy...
- Robin performs a Spit Take when she realizes that the jerky Cross was chewing had ended up in her mouth.
- And Soundbite proceeds to do an impression of George Takei.
- When Nami first lays eyes on the gold, she Squees so loud it knocks Cross out.Soundbite: I think I HAVE a new attack... ALSO TINNITUS... and maybe a little INFERIORITY COMPLEX.
- Nami kissing, then frenching, then dry humping the pillar of gold.
- Nami is so euphoric that she’s fully willing to give as much spare gold to the crew as they can ask for... except for Zoro.
- It gets so bad that Usopp briefly thinks the world is ending... Until Nami confirms Zoro isn't getting out of his debt so easily, prompting Usopp to declare a false alarm.
- Nami's reaction to being Out-Gambitted by Vivi for her share of the gold.
- When Cross mentions that they’ll need to leave some of the gold pillar behind, Nami reacts by grabbing him by the neck in a vice-like grip and hoisting him into the air with a demonic look on her face, with Soundbite throwing in some Ominous Latin Chanting.Nami: I will feast on your entrails!
- Zoro does the impossible: he Zorro Marks (heh!) and claims the pillar of gold for himself (which no one else had officially done yet) then giving it to Nami... thus clearing his debt to her. Yes, you read that right: Zoro got out of debt to Nami. It's enough to give Nami a heart attack, stroke and aneurysm all at once.
- Which leads to the following dialogue:Robin: Isn't any one of those potentially fatal, Mister Tony?
Chopper: Oh, yeah, that's completely right. (panics) AAAAAH! WE NEED A DOCTOR! WE NEED A—NO, WAIT! I AM A DOCTOR!
(Sanji knocks him out of it)
Chopper: OW!…thanks, Sanji.
Sanji: You're welcome. NOW, HELP NAMI-SWAN!
Chopper: O-ON IT!
- Which leads to the following dialogue:
- Cross tells Wiper to give the gold they can't take with them as a loan to "a certain spring-heeled dickweasel" should he show up.
- While the crew is panicking about being attacked by a giant cannon, Vivi, Zoro and Cross just sits down and begins chewing on some jerky... until Nami throttles Cross for not running.
- When Conis shows up with a crate full of weapons, an excited Usopp proceeds to spin her around while Lassoo licks her face off.
- Conis revealing she traded all those weapons for a Vision Dial picture of Enel's epic Wild Take. While the crew is laughing their heads off at the picture, Cross laments he didn't get Usopp to do the same.
- But he makes plans to frame the picture of Enel being gut-kicked by Luffy.
- Conis revealing she traded all those weapons for a Vision Dial picture of Enel's epic Wild Take. While the crew is laughing their heads off at the picture, Cross laments he didn't get Usopp to do the same.
- Isaiah and Terry decide to stay with the Straw Hats for a while longer so they can continue to speak. Soundbite instead reveals that they can't argue any more about who's better due to how big the other South Birds in Skypiea are compared to them.
- Soundbite foiling Aisa's attempts to stow away with the Straw Hats by calling out a rat infestation.
- Then when the other Shandians accost the little girl, she asks if she can join the crew. Luffy almost says yes, but the others dogpile him just in time.
- The crew falling off the edge of Cloud End. Cross, Soundbite, Conis and Su are the only ones enjoying themselves.
- Not to mention the crew panicking when they hear Cross's initial snort of laughter... that would immediately preclude one of his adrenaline rushes.
- After Cross apologizes to the Merry for the scare, he asks if it was funny. Cue a loose pulley falling on his head.
- Hina and Bartolomeo call a truce in the middle of a fight to listen to the SBS.
- Then both crews have to take down members who try to fight anyway.
- Plus Soundbite tricking Conis into starting the SBS before Cross can.
- When the crews realize that Su is just as snarky as Soundbite, Mr. 5 toasts to his now-gone sanity and drains his flask.
- While Conis and Cross are talking on the SBS, a caller comes in to ask them about oxygen poisoning. Cue both of them running to Chopper screaming, leaving Soundbite and Su behind.
- And when they contemplate more mischief, they realize they can't think of anything to do without their respective Straight Men to play off of.
G- 8
- Just the entirety of Isaiah and Terry sitting in Jonathan's office, slowly driving him and his men round the twist. Jonathan can't even do anything to them because South Birds are an endangered species and killing one incurs a ฿1 million fine.
- When Cross asks for a meeting with Jonathan alone, he says that if any of his men accompany him, they'll be talking in chicken clucks and farts for the whole event. Jonathan wonders if he should just to see what Soundbite can come up with.
- Two instances of I Heard That:Jonathan: Once again, Mister Cross, I have to admit I'm surprised. Your reputation precedes you, but your actions to date have barely managed to do you justice.
Cross: Well, really, in situations like this, it's either that or breaking down and panicking, and Nami, Usopp, Carue, and Vivi already have that covered.
The aforementioned: I HEARD THAT!
Leo: You had better not be about to tell us that you saw this coming, Cross!
Cross: No, of course not! Forgetting about potentially life-threatening things is Vivi's job.
Vivi: I heard that.
Carue: You can pwotest when it's not twue, but fo' now, you can't weawwy deny it.
Vivi: Tsk… - Cross using his Usopp AAaaaAAAaaaAA! belt to get out of trouble with the Marines. The second time...doesn't go as smoothly.
- Every instance of Conis adjusting to the Blue Sea environment, whether it's adjusting to the higher oxygen levels or trying to find her legs on islands that don't move.Conis: And I would jusht like you all to know—hic!—that I love you all very musch! Eshpecially Chopper… sho fluffy…
Chopper: She's… crushing… me… - Vivi and Nami admitting that the fact that Zoro doesn't put on a new shirt when his old one is destroyed during training is pretty nice.
- All the Flat Whats the crew gives when Vivi says she's in a Marine barracks, being pampered hand and foot by a group of overly-nice Marine rookies.
- While sneaking into the infirmary to treat Conis, Dr. Kobato stumbles on to Chopper and Su. Despite all of Chopper's lame excuses, Kobato buys every single one... until she's told Konis-with-a-K has a father on Skypiea, just like the Straw Hats' new recruit. Su has to gag Kobato with her tail before Chopper can sedate the doctor.
- And then we get this dialogue:Su: Yeah, you're right. After all, there are better ways to get girls then pumping them full of chemicals, don't you know? Tseeheehee—!
Chopper: (holding up a syringe) I can refill this with the appropriate dosage in seconds.
Su: Shutting up now. - And then Chopper regrets sedating Kobato when Robin informs him that he has five minutes before the massive influx of patients. After 30 seconds of invective that even impresses Soundbite:Robin: … I believe you've been spending too much time with Soundbite.
Chopper: AND YOU'VE BEEN SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME WITH CROSS, YOU JERK! AND ONE WORD OUT OF YOU, SANJI, AND I SWEAR THAT I WILL GIVE YOU A VASECTOMY IN YOUR SLEEP!
Usopp:…I am now officially unsure who's scarier: Nami or Chopper.
Nami: Careful, Long-nose, I work hard to maintain my reputation. You do not want me pulling double-duty.
- And then we get this dialogue:
- Several times a Marine comes across the real inspector that Robin Mugged for Disguise. Given that he starts shouting at whoever tries to free him, they leave him where he is.
- Nami must have gotten more from her mother than she thought given how easily she acts as a Marine Captain.
- Despite Soundbite's best efforts, he takes his focus off Zoro for 10 seconds, and the swordsman goes from outside the base to inside the kitchen fridge with the booze with no way to figure out how he got there. Both Sanji and Jessica knock back a bottle when they find him.
- Jonathan's forced to choose between his wife and Sanji over who's lamb chop dish is better... and he knows which is better, but that way lies marital strife.
- In Spite Of all of Cross's efforts, Luffy still barges in on Jonathan's office looking for food and gives himself away.
- When Jonathan tries to use Luffy's barging-in as a way to get out of the decision, Cross ruins his attempts by saying that he found that same meal cooked by Jessica in his garbage last night. If that doesn't get both chefs boiling mad at him, Cross's statement about Jonathan constantly feeding the meals to his subordinates and then lying about it definitely showcases weak spot number 1 of G8: its commander lying to his own wife.
- And then Isaiah gives his own two cents.Isaiah: Why, hello, miss. Look to your man. Back at me. Now back to your man. Now back to me. Sadly, he isn't me, but with a good workover with, say, a Nine Cast Iron, he could be honest like me.
- And finally, while Jessica feeds Jonathan the meal from his trash, Sanji pulls a (admittedly-true) Bavarian Fire Drill on a group of Marine chefs on why he's running away from Vice-Admiral Jonathan.Sanji: Jessica just found out Jonathan threw away a meal she made for him!
(Cue every Marine running like hell.)
- And then Isaiah gives his own two cents.
- Jonathan gains a small win over Cross when Cross says they're planning a breakout to stress-test the brig... only for Jonathan to point out that they need someone in the brig first.
- And then Vivi solves that by turning herself in. Along with Carue.Drake: Do not resist arrest, duck. (Beat) Arresting a giant duck… why did it have to be the Straw Hats?
- Vivi also delivers a Groin Attack to Drake. Why? He mentioned "terrorism" (the lie behind Vivi's bounty) among Cross's crimes while trying to arrest him earlier, which Vivi could hear.
- And then Vivi solves that by turning herself in. Along with Carue.
- Nami giving herself away by just walking into Jonathan's office and seeing all the confiscated treasure lying there.
- And then when Nami gets really incensed over the fact that he's taking her treasure, Jonathan finds himself demonstrating weak spot number 3: freezing up in the face of angry women. Even Drake doesn't want to get in between them.
- And during this whole No-Holds-Barred Beatdown, Boss declares that there's no way he can be as good as punishment as Nami, so he'll just let her take care of the discipline. The TDWS promptly goes catatonic.
- To say nothing of the Mood Whiplash Sanji is going through while Luffy laughs his ass off.Sanji: NAMI-SWAN IS SO GORGEOUS WHEN SHE'S ANGRY—but this time, I think the rage is just too much—BUT SHE'S SO WONDERFULLY BRUTAL—but is it too much? I'm scared—BUT IT'S STILL NAMI-SWAN!
- And after Robin finally knocks Nami out to stop her embarrassing herself, Jonathan decides to not reveal her to his men, in exchange for one chess game. Robin accepts.Robin: The middle of a life-or-death situation, and I find myself playing a friendly game of chess with the person responsible for every bit of danger in that situation. I can't deny it anymore. I love being a Straw Hat Pirate.
- And then when Nami gets really incensed over the fact that he's taking her treasure, Jonathan finds himself demonstrating weak spot number 3: freezing up in the face of angry women. Even Drake doesn't want to get in between them.
- While waiting for Robin to finish her game, Vivi and Nami have to stay in the brig, and Vivi says she can handle it. A while later, Vivi and Nami are at the last dregs of their patience listening to Soundbite play the jailhouse harmonica.
- After she threatens him in rage, Soundbite stops and Vivi briefly enjoys the silence... only to lose it again when he blasts "Jailhouse Rock" instead. Being more attuned to his antics, Nami had plugged her ears while counting down.
- The fact that transmitting the Hot-Blooded-ness of Marine Unit 55 causes Soundbite to literally breathe fire.
- After the Straw Hats reassemble, Cross begins his plan to get them all out safely, with all their belongings, and not causing any more stress on Merry than needed. Cue the Unfolding Plan Montage after 11 hours of Straw Hat sabotage:
- Chopper - Slime bombs and Stink Bombs all over the base.
- When Sanji gave Jessica some of his recipes, he didn't mention that they were specially loaded with tryptophan to leave difficult customers in the Baratie in a half-sleep stupor. Unfortunately, Mikey took it a little too far for Sanji's liking.Sanji: LAXATIVES? YOU PUT LAXATIVES IN THEIR MEALS?! HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE SANCTITY OF FOOD LIKE THAT! GET BACK HERE, MIKEY! AND DON'T THINK YOU'RE OFF THE HOOK EITHER, CHOPPER, I KNOW WHERE HE GOT THE DOSAGES FROM! WE'RE HAVING VENISON AND TURTLE SOUP TONIGHT!
- Usopp - Sabotaging the toilets. Given what Mikey did to their food...
- The Dugongs - Fishing for sharks and storing them in the Marines' lockers with water.
- And in response, Jonathan and Drake make the cardinal sin to Murphy:Jonathan: The food, the passageways, the storage, the weapons, the cannons, the plumbing, and now this. I suppose the best thing to say is that it can't—MMPH!
(Jessica and Drake Hand Gag him)
Drake: You should know better than that, Commander. Never say that things couldn't get any worse! The universe is always listening-
(Beat as Drake realizes what he just said)
Drake: …shit.
- And in response, Jonathan and Drake make the cardinal sin to Murphy:
- Luffy, Robin and Sanji - A whole lot of random mayhem that almost leaves the base in shambles. Jonathan is now lamenting ever agreeing to Cross's challenge.
- Conis, Vivi and Carue - Retrieving their weapons, with interest, from the armory. Jonathan is Head Desking at this point.
- Also the scene where they find out Conis is now a Cute Bruiser - when she lifts Cross into the air with one hand.
- Zoro and Leo - Cutting through the floor of Jonathan's office to get back their gold... once Jonathan confirms it's all still there followed by the floor being replaced and furiously hammered in so that nobody can follow them.
- Nami - Sabotaging the sea gates shut with an indoor lightning storm.
- Although their escape from the sea gate is pure awesome, the ending becomes funny when Luffy declares their escape...after having shrunk from using Gear 2.5.
- And then Cross tops it off by casually pulling out of Luffy's pants the now unnecessary Balloon Octopus to release it into the sea with a farewell, leaving the rest of the crew completely dumbfounded. At this point, Isaiah and Terry decide to fly back to Navarone because things have gotten too insane for them.
- Tashigi being unable to hold in her giggles when Cross tells her what they did to G8.
- MI4 decide to have Code Names based off the Western Zodiac, because Hina suggested giving Smoker the codename Cancer.
- A bit of Fridge Humor sets in when you realize that because of Smoker’s Logia powers, Hina is more likely to get lung cancer than he is.
- The events of the next few days between arcs:
- Nami having a romantic date with her gold, that almost sinks the Merry in a storm... or so Cross thinks. Once the storm clears up on Nami's cue, she goes back for events that can only be speculated... but leave Robin disturbed.Cross: You peeked?
Robin: My kingdom for a way to wipe my memory... - The Ocean's Dream and memory theft arc, that ends with Cross angrily slamming the Seahorse into a tree.
- One of the reasons for his ire is that he apparently got his nose broken by Vivi again, while she was back into her Miss Wednesday persona.
- Cross practicing his aim with Lassoo by William Telling with Usopp and an apple... before being interrupted by Sanji agonizing over Conis's choice of fashion: Tomboy.
- And Sanji getting dragged out by Raphey to get some physical re-education.
- Back to Usopp, he's not placated by Cross' assurances that Chopper could easily reattach his head if it gets blown off. Chopper's entrance, consisting of off-color smoke from open door, Slasher Smile, and "You raaaaang?" does little to help the matter.
- Another Big-Lipped Alligator Moment when the crew encounters the monstrosity that is Magical Girl Inferno Aniki. After Lassoo sends him flying, the crew long for some Brain Bleach which Chopper offers... only for Luffy to take care of the problem by instigating Easy Amnesia on himself.
- While listening to the SBS and hearing Vivi talk about how a ruler's anger needs to be cold, controlled and legendary, Boa Hancock strives to become a ruler just like her. But thanks to Vivi blowing up at her crew's idiocy, all Hancock learns from that is that her anger isn't legendary enough. Much to her sisters' horror.
- Nami having a romantic date with her gold, that almost sinks the Merry in a storm... or so Cross thinks. Once the storm clears up on Nami's cue, she goes back for events that can only be speculated... but leave Robin disturbed.
Water 7 Saga
Davy Back Fight
- Su makes to get angry about Cross inviting Lassoo on a fox hunt, but she can't restrain her laughter at the snarky joke.
- Amongst Cross and Soundbite playing "guess-the-voice" with the elongated aaaaaaaaaaaaaanimals, we have a solemn moment with a crocodilian voiced by Steve Irwin.
- As befitting of his Chew Toy status, Cross ends up getting flattened by a very smelly Tonjit. And sympathizes with Nami about burning the whole world down.
- And when Luffy makes a mention of the bamboo genie, Cross holds his tongue for him.
- While aiming for an ambushing Foxy, Soundbite first asks if he's with Chica and Bonnie, and then gives directions in Widdershins. Cross calls him out on it.
- Itomimizu interrupting both Cross and Soundbite by starting the SBS himself.Cross: Why does the world seem determined to stop me from starting the SBS?!
Soundbite: WHY does the world seem DETERMINED to stop me from STOPPING CROSS FROM STARTING THE SBS?! - A mix of Funny and Awesome when Cross asks who thought the Davy Back Fight was a good idea... and gets a called-in answer from Whitebeard.
- As Cross is left speechless as to who was calling, Whitebeard asks where his bravado went. Cross is about to show him when he is Hand Gagged by Robin.
- Conis wonders if Whitebeard is important. Nami starts to ask how Conis doesn't know about Whitebard, until she remembers that Conis spent her whole life in Skypiea and thus wouldn't know about any important figures in Blue Seas.
- And after he hangs up, Su says that the caller wasn't that impressive, only for the said person to suddenly growl in her ear. Su panics until she realizes that Soundbite was responsible.
- Since Foxy is left catatonic at who was calling, Cross has to use the transceiver's new foghorn button to snap him out of it.Cross: I love this thing…
Everyone else: WE KNOW!
- Soundbite takes offense to Itomimizu's bird Chuchun calling their Transponder Snail Chubby, only for Itomimizu to tell him that "Chubby" is what he calls him. And the snail confirms that he really likes his pudding.
- Thanks to Soundbite's Gastro-Scramble the Foxy Pirates miss their cue to mess up the Straw Hats' team at the start of the Donut Race, allowing the remaining Straw Hats to beat them bloody.
- And when Nami and Conis get a head-start on Porche and Monda, Foxy spurs her in gear by telling her that he's slicing her make-up budget if they lose. Porche takes offense and off they go.
- When Cross sees Hamburg keeping pace with the racers, he wonders if he's even human. Itomimizu says that that's the multi-million-Beri question, before explaining that the Foxy Pirates actually have a betting pot that big for the answer.
- Nami, a little upset at how little she potentially contributes to the crew, is the one to activate the Impact Dial that launches her and Conis past a race obstacle. Which she promptly follows with a Cluster F-Bomb that is transmitted through the SBS (thankfully censored of the worst of it), much to Nojiko's chagrin.Nojiko: Damn it, and Dr. Nako just said that Genzo's blood pressure got back in the green…
- And ends with a Shout-Out to the Cross-Brain's rival fanfic.Nami: —AND IT WILL BE BY FAR THE MOST DELICIOUS AND SATISFYING SALAD THAT I WILL EVER EAT IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!
- And ends with a Shout-Out to the Cross-Brain's rival fanfic.
- Foxy's attempt to sabaotge the Straw Hats during the Donut Race are stopped by Cross invoking a Minor Insult Meltdown which causes him to collapse... while still riding Hamburg. The resulting tumble is described as "one for the blooper reels".
- Whenever Cross counters the Foxy Pirates' cheating, he then counters Itomimizu using his own words: "All's fair in love, war and Davy Back Fights!"
- Until it gets to the point that Itomimizu tries to gag him.
- Soundbite uses Itomimizu's voice to say the wrong thing to Nami - and promptly regrets it when she starts to shoot lightning at them (since they're riding on Chuchun as well).
- And almost gets Cross Waxing Lyrical in "Bohemian Rhapsody" to boot.
- Foxy's Wild Take when Nami pulls out a mirror to counter his Devil Fruit powers.
- As the battle gets more hectic, Lassoo starts Cani-Cannoning to counter-sabotage Hamburg and Foxy, only for Hamburg to bat them away... right up to where Cross, Soundbite, Itomimizu, Chuchun, and Chubby are.
- Post-fight, Raphey, and Capote are still locked in a blood rage trying to beat each other to a pulp. Chopper manages to sedate Raphey, but Capote is still struggling... until Big Pan makes him into a Monster Burger. Good thing he's a fishman.
- Before the Groggy Ring match even starts, the Groggy Monsters are suddenly beaten to a pulp under a cloud of thick pink fog, while the Straw Hats' team is still standing stoically and left completely untouched (albeit covered in blood). And despite Foxy spluttering imprecations, against Vivi's logical arguments, there’s nothing he can say to prove that the Straw Hats were responsible.
- While Nami’s whistling innocently in front of everyone.
- And Vivi’s right; Nami isn't responsible for the pink fog. That would be Chopper, who’s hiding behind one of the tents trying to stabilize his reagents before they cause more unwanted fog. When he can't, Carue is forced to swallow the compound before it grows out of hand... much to his pain.
- And Boss explains to Foxy why he, Zoro and Sanji are covered in blood: under cover of fog, they hunted down an animal, killed it and ate it raw, like men. How did they manage it all in five minutes? Easy, they're badasses.
- And none of Foxy's blathering can change the base fact anyway: the Groggy Monster can't fight anyway, so they automatically forfeit. Meaning the Straw Hats win. Simple as that.
- And to cap it all off, Vivi intimidating the ref into ending the match.
- The whole first appearance of Afro Luffy:
- When Cross announces the appearance over the SBS, the entirety of Makino's bar does a Spit Take, Woop Slap begins raging, and Makino begins Laughing Herself Sick.
- Upon first seeing their captain, Nami is surprisingly calm about it, saying that she’s now numb to it all. Unfortunately, thanks to the Dugongs, that doesn't last long.Boss: (begins crying Manly Tears)
TDWS: B-Boss! Are you alright, Boss?! What's wrong? Are you hurt? I-Is this another Romance!?
Boss: No… No, my students, that object is no mere Romance… What you see before you… WHAT YOU SEE IS NOTHING LESS THAN A MAN'S MIRACLE! A HEAVENSENT SIGN INTENDED TO DO NOUGHT ELSE BUT TO BRING TO THE WORLD THE GOOD MESSAGE OF TESTOSTERONE AND ABSOLUTELY RIPPED ABS!
TDWS: OH, BOSS!
Boss: AS GOD IS MY WITNESS, I TOO SHALL DON THE AFRO, FOR GREAT MANLI—!
Nami: (lays him out cold) AND THAT'S WHERE I DRAW THE FUCKING LINE! - But its only getting started, as Cross, Sanji, Soundbite and everyone around her starts blaring funk music loud and wide, more specifically, Uptown Funk.Su: Yeah, you go, gatemouth! Jive with the groove, stick it to the man, show your hep chops! (beat) I have no idea what the hell I just said.
- As the madness rages around her, Nami reaches for Sanji's lighter to fulfill her long-contemplated desire, only for Robin to gently stop her.
- Cross and Soundbite's music inspiring an entire dance party on Hina's ship is funny enough on its own, but then it gets Hina to join in as well.Soundbite: HALLELUJAH!
Hina: HALLELUJAH! (Shocked Beat as she realizes what she just said) ...Damn you, Cross, Smoker is never going to let me hear the end of this.
- Everything during the Captain's Match, seen from the SBS's perspective all over the world:
- Hachi finds the Takoyaki 8 turned into a floating sports bar as they listen to the match, with the Marx Brothers seemingly in attendance.
- Rayleigh drunkenly thinking about the old days when Davy Back Fights were more straightforward and involved less tricks.
- Itomimizu inadvertently warning Luffy about one of Foxy's tricks, much to Foxy's irritation. Itomimizu's terrified "Meep!" immediately reminds Soundbite of Beaker. While Itomimizu protests the comparison, we cut to Buggy who is listening from his ship.Buggy: ...Well, that's a phrase I never thought I'd hear again.Alvida: What the hell kind of ship did you serve on before going independent?Buggy: That, my dear, is a secret I fully intend to take to my grave."
- While the Mysterious Four listen to Luffy falling for Foxy's terrible disguises, Foxy gives the best worst medical pun-insult that Hogback has ever heard.Foxy: What brings you here, hm? A-Are you numb? Is it your skull? That's it, isn't it, you're a numbskull?
- And when Luffy sends Foxy into one of his Minor Insult Meltdowns, Absalom asks Perona when her range got that big.
- The Noodle Incidents about Chopper scavenging Nami's receipts for scrap paper, and him not liking holly for whatever reason.
- Cross and Soundbite's reaction when Chuchun goes diving for Foxy in the sea. The salty sea. Luckily, Transponder Snails don't die from saltwater, but they do get extremely sick.
- Chopper tries to show the crew that he can access small bits of his intelligence without going mad... but his next attempt has to be knocked out of.
- Chopper has to inject Luffy with stimulant to wake him up, and he has to use his Heavy Point to do it.
- Cross tries to use Foxy to slow down Luffy's eating so they can see exactly how he can eat so fast. That fact is so much a Thing Man Was Not Meant To Know that B.R.O.B. has to knock out Kronos and erase that piece of time from existence.
- The Foxy Pirates' agreement with the Straw Hats. If they agree to join as a subdivision, then Foxy re-becomes their boss and they go on their way with a few restrictions and a redrawn flag by Usopp. If they decline, they dismiss Foxy and he gets to rejoin his crew... but with their flag redrawn by Luffy.
- Then Cross calls up MI4 to inform them of their new allies. Foxy tries to get the Code Name "Snake", but in the end gets saddled with "Goat".
- And then Tashigi tries to end the call by calling Cross "Handbag" note . There's a Beat, Tashigi Digging Herself Deeper by Trying To Explain The Joke, and finally Soundbite telling her to go to her room. Smoker is in full agreement.
- Wanna know the best way to make Aokiji shiver? Simple: make him imagine being trained by Monkey D. Garp. Kuzan for his part is very grateful he was instructed by a different member of that "generation of loonies."
- Unfortunately, after the reveal that Garp did train Aokiji in canon, the joke was edited out.
- During the training preparations after their Curb-Stomp Battle by Aokiji:
- Cross brings up the topic of Diable Jambe by quoting Sanji's "If God made food, then the Devil made spice" Badass One Liner. An incredulous Sanji is dumbfounded to hear Cross confirm that the move actually works, confessing that he came up with the concept whilst drunk off his ass one night at the Baratie and so he's always treated the move as too stupid to possibly use.
- When Cross suggests that Chopper uses the empty Long Long Island as a place to train his Monster Point, Chopper reveals that his Monster Point, which originally ran on his animalistic instincts, now has access to his hyper-intelligence within his subconscious. Cross admits to himself that he wouldn't even submit Spandam to the Mad-Scientist Monster, and both agree to keep it as a last resort.
- Cross asks Luffy to tell Chopper how Gear 1.5 works. As Luffy is explaining how he pumps the blood in his body to increase his speed, he doesn't notice Chopper's horrified expression. The moment Luffy tries to demonstrate his technique, Chopper tranquilizes him and drags to the kitchen to make sure Gear Second won't cause muscle attropy in the future, and everyone moves out of the way.
Water 7
- While searching for a sound he's hearing that turns out to be Merry crying, Usopp ends up Shaving right on top of Mikey's head.Mikey: (Wielding his new flintlocks) Dude, I respect you, but if you don't get off me soon, I'm gonna throw you off! And I mean the Merry!
- During the SBS, Cross is interrupted from starting it by a knock on the door. When he opens it, Leo reminds him it's time to start the SBS. Cross gets halfway through thanking him before realizing what just happened. The listening Gorgon Sisters wonder how they still find that funny despite knowing it will happen.
- Apoo and Cross start a fake DJ feud with Apoo "hacking" Soundbite's signal and broadcasting his own music.
- A quick exchange when Nami is discussing how much gold they have.Nami: My initial estimates back on Skypiea was at least 2 billion. But after becoming intimately familiar with our hoard—
Robin: Unhealthily so. (Eye Twitch) - This exchange when one of Chopper's (non-toxic) slime concoctions blows up all over the crew:Chopper: Before anyone can panic or say anything! I promise you that this stuff is completely benign. And I'm fairly certain that it doesn't hurt paper either, so Nami, Robin, please don't skin me alive.
Robin: We will take that into consideration, Mister Emergency Supplies. - Cross struggling to Ignore The Fan Service when Robin walks in wearing nothing but her skivvies and proceeding to change in front of him, in a (frankly) cute image of an older sibling embarrassing the younger.
- Robin conceding Cross's rebuttal that Sanji would kick the crap out of him for looking, whether it was his fault or not.
- The crowner is when Robin asks Cross to help zip her up. Cross flips the bird in response.
- After watching Nami and Vivi browbeat the Gold Exchange into giving them 3 and a half billion for their gold (that was only worth 3 billion), the rest of the crew with them is left shaking in terror with Su and Usopp trying to ward the two off with a rosary and crucifix respectively.
- Seriously, it's the way that particular scene starts that sells it.
Cross: (After witnessing said browbeat) Demons... They're demons...
Soundbite: (from inside his shell) In Nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti! Translation - Soundbite giving all the Yagara Bulls Brooklyn cabbie accents. When Cross calls him out, he says at least it's not unidentifiable Middle-Eastern.
- After Cross escapes the Unluckies, he ends up getting asked a question by Vivi for the third time:Vivi: WHY IN THE NAME OF HORUS, ANUBUS, RA, AND EVERY LAST GOD IN THE ALABASTAN PANTHEON, IS THE CITY ON FIRE!?
- It gets even funnier when Franky admits that half the blaze is his fault... from an accident with an old coal mine five years ago. Then Cross manages to one-up him.Cross: You're lucky. I remember back home reading somewhere about a coal fire that started three hundred years ago and is still going.
Franky, Vivi, and every native of the Grand Line within earshot: *Gapes in incredulous astonishment*
- It gets even funnier when Franky admits that half the blaze is his fault... from an accident with an old coal mine five years ago. Then Cross manages to one-up him.
- Franky's intro dance to the Straw Hats alongside Kiwi and Mozu... with the former wearing a bathrobe. When it's over, she lays out her big bro for calling her out in the middle of her shower.
- When Vivi's negotiations with the perpetually-stubborn Franky start to fall through, Boss decides to take over. How does he negotiate? By flexing. So hard, in fact, that his shell shatters to show he's absolutely ripped under it. When Franky starts doing it too, Cross can feel his chest hair growing.
- And when the cyborg and the dugong somehow come to a consensus through all that, Vivi is left absolutely dumbfounded.
- Which leads to Boss suddenly noticing his state of undress. Then he dives into the water and somehow comes back up with a new shell when the crew comes back to the ship. Somehow.
- Cross pranking MI5 by making them think that Apoo had permanently managed to hijack Soundbite. When the prank is revealed, Tashigi tries to kill Cross via Transponder Snail Death Glare.
- Smoker telling her he's already tried that.
- Soundbite's line during Zoro's and Tashigi's argument:Soundbite: For the love of GOD, FUCK OR KILL EACH OTHER but don't use me to pussyfoot around!
- Tashigi is exulting about how she recently got a promotion to Lieutenant Junior Grade - and Cross promptly punctures her enthusiasm by pointing out that she got a promotion in a corrupt system she's actively trying to subvert.Tashigi: Can… Can you not ruin my good mood? For, just, five seconds? Is… Is that honestly too much to ask for?
Cross: Yes. Yes, it is.
Enies Lobby
- Sniper King's epic entrance is deflated by Iceburg blowing Rocketman's smokestack due to him making a nuisance of himself.
- When Conis invades the train to rescue Franky the both of them end up running into Captain T-Bone and his men. T-Bone promptly breaks out the teabags and has tea with everyone.
- And Franky's Delayed Reaction while he enjoys the tea.
- Cross gets blown off the Rocketman. No one is surprised, but luckily Luffy and Zoro rescue him and Soundbite, respectively.
- It turns out that Soundbite didn't know that one only needs to eat a single bite of a Devil Fruit to become a user, leading to this gem:Cross: Are you really telling me you ate that whole coconut before you realized you had powers, even after you realized it tasted rancid?
Soundbite: I was a lone snail IN A DAMN JUNGLE! I ATE MY food whenever it came TO ME, NO MATTER THE TASTE! Sue me! - Cross bastardizing "The Talk" when he talks to Vivi about eating the Devil Fruit seed on her person.
- Just as Boss has caught up to Robin and is in the process of chewing her out for doubting them, an agent comes into the car. Boss quickly pretends to be a big Dugong toy, complete with sound effect when you press his upper lip.
- Luffy calls T-Bone "Steak-man". Even Zoro Facepalms.
- Leo successfully defeats T-Bone in their duel, then takes a moment to thank his opponent for justifying his position as one of the ship's guards. The solemnity is ruined with Luffy and Zoro administering a double-conk upside his head. Luffy's ticked that Leo ever doubted he had a place in his crew, Zoro's ticked that Leo's been holding back in their sparring sessions. Translation: said sessions are gonna be kicked up a whole nother notch for poor Leo.
- Cross explaining to the gate guards on Enies Lobby exactly what they're going to do to their island, and then ends by saying he's going to hit a guard with lightning. The guards laugh at his joke - at least until Cross breaks out his new Thunder Dial-powered Taser Baton.
- While Cross is letting Dorry and Broggy talk to their subordinates Oimo and Kashi, one of the guards tries to regain control by claiming that Dorry and Broggy are in Impel Down and it's all a trick of Soundbite's Voice Changeling powers. Cross proceeds to let the guard dig his own grave by claiming that Soundbite could indeed, flawlessly replicate Dorry and Broggy's voices just by hearing them once... and then asking when, exactly, could he have gotten into Impel Down to get their voices?
- Sengoku's reaction to the SBS full-stop, from Flat "What" to Big "WHAT?!". He starts out being relieved that the Straw Hats are going to raze an island because that'll prove they're as bad as the rest. Then he recognizes one of the voices/names and realizes exactly what island. Then he hears the crash of several hundred feet of gate being utterly destroyed.
- His reaction is to immediately blow his top (and Marineford's) by going into full-on Golden Buddha mode and screaming for Garp, Tsuru, Aokiji and everyone else. Scaring the heck out of whatever Vice-Admirals he didn't already knock out.
- Garp's reaction to this is also hilarious.Garp: Huh, didn't think he could get that hammy anymore...
- He promptly regrets saying that when a golden hand shoots through the roof to grab him.Sengoku: GET THE FUCK IN HERE AND PAY FOR THE SINS OF YOUR BLOOD, YOU DAMN BASTARD!
Garp: Shit.
- In Chapter 39, Bartolomeo attacks a Celestial Dragon's yacht, then takes its Transponder Snail and calls the highest-ranking member of the World Government it knows to taunt them. He gets the Five Elder Stars.
- Law and Bonney play Jenga using a tower of beat-up Marines.
- Among his other failures, Spandam is terrible at Grand Line Sign Language.Kaku: I want a raise.
Spandam: The monkey prunes on the roof at midnight. - The Marines being terrified of even the weaker Straw Hats is awesome, but their thoughts on Nami are hilarious:Marine: Don't look her in the eye, lest she take your very soul and make you pay interest to get it back!
- When Cross sees Judge Baskerville, he simply can’t resist making an in-joke.Cross: Oh, a princess!
Soundbite: UHH... are you quite SANE?
Middle Head: How sweet of you to notice.
Other Two: (headbutt the center head) DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM, YOU RABBLE-ROUSER!
Soundbite: THE HELL-?
Cross: Oh, so that's why the Central Freeway is closed for repair, because you keep headbutting it.
Middle Head: Precisely!
Other Two: (headbutt the center head again) SHADDUP! (to Cross) AND THE SAME TO YOU!
Soundbite: Now I get it! THEY'RE ALL INSANE, aren't they? - Kumadori wonders if Cross would give him an autograph. After a moment of silence between the agents, Fukuro asks him to lean down.
- While all the other Straw Hats are unleashing attacks to destroy the World Government flag, Vivi (who has no ranged attacks) asks Carue for suggestions.Carue: Go team?
- Vivi tries to commiserate with Boss only to learn even he has a ranged attack that'll reach the flag.
- Sengoku gets an impromptu heart attack right in front of Coby & Helmeppo, much to their shock, after the combined stress over the sheer chaos the Supernovas are causing (capped off with the Straw Hats disintegrating the World Government flag while the SBS is still on) finally becomes too much for him.Coby: (still in shock) Did...Did that just happen?
Helmeppo: MEDIC! - The Mass "Oh, Crap!" as everyone realizes just what is Plan B for getting across to the Tower of Justice: Flying ride on the Rocketman!
- When they finally crash, both Luffy and Cross are laughing about the insane ride they just had... but the rest of the crew, including Soundbite, aren't happy about it in the least. Then Nami asks for a Gastro-Amp up to eleven, and Soundbite obliges. The insane chewing-out literally shakes Enies Lobby to its core.Cross: MAWP... MAWP... MAWP...
- To boot, the explosion of rage leaves the Franky Family, the Galley-La Workers, the TDWS and the remaining Enies garrison completely stunned for several minutes.
- When they finally crash, both Luffy and Cross are laughing about the insane ride they just had... but the rest of the crew, including Soundbite, aren't happy about it in the least. Then Nami asks for a Gastro-Amp up to eleven, and Soundbite obliges. The insane chewing-out literally shakes Enies Lobby to its core.
- When Fukuro first appears and starts speaking, everyone thinks that Soundbite is messing around again.
- When Fukuro insists it's his real voice, everyone offers their condolences, much to his ire.
- Aisa manages to sneak away and call the SBS. Let's just say Laki's not happy when she finds her.
- When a rabid Jabra manages to find Cross, Usopp and Boss, Usopp ends up Shaving into Boss's arms, Scooby-Doo style.
- And then a recovered Blueno taking out Jabra via The Door Slams You.
- The flat exchange after Sanji jumps into Blueno's Air Door dimension and shuts himself in:Blueno: …He does realize that I am the only person with access to that dimension, yes?
Cross: You do realize that you are going to have to fight your way past him to enter that place, yes?
(Cue a brief Oh, Crap! from Blueno) - As the fights go on through Enies Lobby, Boss ends up running into Zoro and Kaku. When the latter transforms and talks about "the destructive powers of giraffes", Boss can't hold in his laughter. Kaku reacts appropriately, which leads to Cross saying something he'd never thought he'd say:Cross: Alright, who laughed at the giraffe!? Who the hell is responsible for making me utter the phrase 'Who laughed at the giraffe' in complete and utter seriousness and context!?
- Thanks to their stealth training, a government agent gets the drop on Cross and Soundbite. The comms officers proceed to weaponize a Who's on First? routine to get the drop on him.
- And then Cross proceeds to broadcast the original Abbott and Costello routine on the SBS. Reaction Shots from Buggy, Mr. 4, Monet and the Mink Tribe Laughing Themselves Sick quickly follow.
- No matter how much Buggy refuses to find them funny.
- And when Carrot proceeds to suggest a game of baseball, Dogstorm and Catviper proceed to give it some serious thought. Much to Wanda's dismay.
- And then Cross proceeds to broadcast the original Abbott and Costello routine on the SBS. Reaction Shots from Buggy, Mr. 4, Monet and the Mink Tribe Laughing Themselves Sick quickly follow.
- A few moments when Cross finds Spandam's victory diary - sorry, CP9's blackbook.
- Sengoku's raging when he first hears about it:Sengoku: OF COURSE! WHY WOULD IT BE ANYTHING ELSE?! WHY WOULD I EXPECT ANYTHING ELSE?!
Medical Aide: Sir, your blood pressure!
Sengoku: DAMN MY BLOOD PRESSURE! THAT INCOMPETENT MORON THAT WE MADE THE EARTHSHAKING MISTAKE OF PUTTING IN CHARGE OF CP9 JUST HANDED THAT LOUD-MOUTHED HELLSPAWN THE VOCAL EQUIVALENT OF A GOLDEN TRANSPONDER SNAIL, AND HE IS ABOUT TO PUBLICIZE IT TO THE WORLD! HOW THE HELL DOES A BLACKBOOK EXIST FOR CP9 IN THE FIRST PLACE!? - Information about a coalition sends Koala and Hack to South Blue - and we mean South. Koala is conflicted.
- Cross broadcasts about Marines feeding a war over the Adam Tree and intercepting the wood shipments, and Ivankov rejoices about their comrades using that information to get a lot of hard wood in the future. He then gets the feeling he found himself at the butt of a joke, but for the life of him couldn't figure out why.
- Cross finds one instance of failure in the blackbook... and it’s downright pathetic: an alliance was required between two important families (Montfield and Capoy) for political and financial reasons, CP9 manipulated the two heirs to fall in love, it all worked out, they legitimately got hitched, both families made it to the wedding... and then the best man Fukuro spilled the beans to both families and turned the whole thing into a bloodbath.
- Sengoku's raging when he first hears about it:
- Tsuru's reaction when she decides to throw in her lot with MI6.
- Spandam gloating about instigating a Buster Call on Enies Lobby and his intent to use Pluton to overthrow the WG... while Soundbite is broadcasting him to the world on the SBS. His expression is satisfying.Spandam: Er… by the way, this is, er, Straw Hat Luffy speaking.
Everyone else: I WOULDN'T BUY THAT IF IT WAS ON SALE, DIPSHIT!- And the schadenfreude keeps growing when Soundbite gets a call on the SBS... and it's a Slasher Smile-sporting Sengoku, who seems to have reached the very dregs of his sanity.Sengoku: OHHH, SPAAANDAAAM?! I HAVE NEW ORDERS FOR YOU, STRAIGHT FROM THE FIVE ELDER STARS: RETURN TO MARINE HEADQUARTERS IMMEDIATELY TO RECEIVE, AND I QUOTE THE ELDER STARS THEMSELVES, 'EVERYTHING YOU HAVE COMING TO YOU.' AND HEAVEN HELP YOU IF NICO ROBIN ISN'T WITH YOU WHEN YOU GET HERE.
- And to cap it all off, Spandam, poor deluded fool that he is, actually thinks he's being rewarded.Spandam: Y-Yes, sir! HURRY UP, YOU! DOUBLE-TIME! YOU ARE TO BEAR WITNESS TO ME RECEIVING MY JUST REWARDS!
Robin: (under her breath) Well, isn't this a fine development? Now I'm actually half-tempted to go along with him just so that I can see the results.
- And to cap it all off, Spandam, poor deluded fool that he is, actually thinks he's being rewarded.
- And the schadenfreude keeps growing when Soundbite gets a call on the SBS... and it's a Slasher Smile-sporting Sengoku, who seems to have reached the very dregs of his sanity.
- In an attempt to get away from Hattori, Cross proceeds to dive off the balcony. When Hattori calls him mad, Cross quotes Captain Jack Sparrow in that it's a good thing, because otherwise it probably wouldn't have worked.
- When Cross reaches the end of his bungee, he finds an escape in the form of a Moonwalking Blueno. Cross proceeds to Dynamic Entry him in the face and use him to jump to a nearby balcony.Cross: And all that! While stone-cold sober!
- And then Soundbite proceeds to Gastro-Phony Blueno such that he forgets to keep jumping.
- Then there's this gem:Cross: …Good grief. I'm fighting a pigeon, I just kicked a bull in the face, and a giraffe cut this entire tower in half. Zoro was right, this place is a zoo!
- Boss, Cross, Fukuro and Hattori lambasting each other about why they haven't taken down their respective opponents.
- They need Chopper back in action even though he's passed out from the aftershock of having to use Monster Point. Luckily, Cross knows just what to do:Cross: Chopper, if you wake up right now, I promise that when I die I'll donate my body to science!
Chopper: (bolts to a sitting position, eyes gleaming) I WANT THAT IN WRITING! - Chopper then advises to give them one of his experimental shots so he can help in the fighting, but as he's explaining the proper way to inject it into his body, Franky just jabs it straight into his chest. It works due to Franky's knowledge, but the reindeer-doctor has some choice words for the cyborg.Chopper: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU DAMN ASSHOLE!? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA JUST HOW BONE-DEAD STUPID THAT KIND OF A STUNT IS?! YOU JUST BROKE THE HIPPOCRATIC OATH IN A DOZEN DIFFERENT WAYS, I SHOULD SUE YOU FOR MALPRACTICE!
- Later, Conis forces her dislocated shoulder back where it belongs using a rifle as a lever. Chopper isn't amused.Chopper: ...if I see one more instance of back-alleyed quackery performed in front of me today, I swear to EVERY LAST DIVINITY IN EXISTENCE—!
- Later, Conis forces her dislocated shoulder back where it belongs using a rifle as a lever. Chopper isn't amused.
- The Barto Club contemplating the Straw Hats' good luck rubbing off on them as they get towed across the Calm Belt by Sea Kings... and then lamenting their bad luck rubbing off as well as they get towed right into the Kuja Pirates.
- Captain Sharinguru and his habit of Saying Sound Effects Out Loud.
- Boss, Cross and Chopper's first look at Franky's Ridiculously Fast Carpentry skills, when he rebuilds a dinky rowboat into something capable of crossing whirlpools, in 9.65 seconds flat.
- And the reason he considers it subpar is because it has no cannons. Boss has no response to that.
- Everything Robin and Franky end up doing to Spandam - sadly offscreen.Spandam: MY RIBS ARE IN MY EYES! THEY'RE IN MY EYES!
Cross: You don't deserve eyes!- The two start drawing it a bit, leaving Cross uncomfortable as their audience, and are immensely satisfied after their little session. Spandam, by contrast... is described as a "twitching pile of meat that was only just not classifiable as a corpse."
- When Nami gets back from biking across the choppy waters from the Tower of Justice to the Bridge of Hesitation, disabling the controls to the Gate of Justice and landing on the Bridge in front of Cross and Soundbite, their Jaw Drops are ones she'll remember for the rest of her life.
- When the first mountain-sized fist imprint appears in the Gates of Justice, everyone thinks that it's Sengoku knocking. Then Robin corrects them; the fist imprint is Garp. The island-sized palm imprint that formed soon after is Sengoku.
- The interactions between the Barto Club and the Kuja Pirates:
- Hancock can't quite keep her composure when she hears that Miss Goldenweek suppressed her emotions with her paint and Lindy's sexual preference is pretty much incomprehensible.
- Miss Valentine walking out of the galley of the Cannibal, right into a standoff between the two crews and the Warlord holding Bartolomeo by the neck. When Sandersonia starts chatting with her, Valentine promptly faints.
- And the next time we see the two crews, they're cheering Luffy on, having thrown an impromptu party over their mutual Fangirlism of the best crew in the world. And we see that Hancock Can't Hold Her Liquor, and Sandersonia gets drunk off the party atmosphere.
- The entire scene where Admiral Kizaru shows up, decides to get things over with fast, flashes to the bridge using his Sacred Yata Mirror... and flies right into one of Nami's mirages and gets refracted clear into the Red Line. Because he made her think he was a sniper from past experience.Kizaru: Note to self… First: Outlaw the presence of any mirrors or other reflective surfaces anywhere that I'm assigned. Second… ooooooowwwwwwwwwwwww…
- And Vice-Admiral Yamakaji gets the unenviable duty of informing Sengoku about it. Sengoku's subsequent Head Desk promptly puts another dent in the Gate of Justice due to his giant gold afro.
- When the Marines start complaining about Su's voice, Conis orders her to lower their morale. Soundbite and Cross laments why they didn't think of that first.Su: Attention, Marine dipshits! To clarify your current situation, the reason you are fighting against a crew that your bosses know you have little to no chance of defeating is that you are what is commonly referred to in the business as fodder! For those of you who find the truth of your lot in life too disturbing to contemplate, I suggest that your next course of action be to curl up and kiss your asses goodbye!
- And then Soundbite starts singing the Curb Stomp Song.
- Everyone howling in agony when Mermaid Kokoro shows up on the bridge.Soundbite: OH, THE HUGE MANATEE!
Cross: IT BUUURNS! SOMEBODY GET ME SOME ACID, I NEED TO REMOVE MY EYES! NOTHING CAN HURT MORE THAN THIS!
Conis: AUGH! THE HORROR! THE HORROR! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!
Su: IT BURNS WITH THE INTENSITY OF A THOUSAND SUNS! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MERMAIDS BEING BEAUTIFUL!?- And when the Marines start contemplating jumping off the bridge to get away from the horror, one mutters about a Man's Romance being so twisted. Boss immediately takes offense to that... before grudgingly conceding they have a point with one look at Kokoro. That hits Kokoro's last nerve and she starts whaling on them.
- And then Sanji, Zoro and Usopp threaten Cross with retribution on account of not warning them.
- Franky and Cross punting Captain Very Good's head clear off the bridge. And this time, it isn't an Epic Fail.
- Aisa cheering on Luffy from the top of a totem pole as Laki tries to climb up to reach her.
- When Merry finally rescues the crew, the first thing her Klabautermann does is give Cross a big hug...and then she calls him a jackass and kicks him in the shin (through his armor) for leaving her behind on Water 7.
- And then Cross tries to rationalize it as saving the best for last.
Merry: You're just trying to butter me up so that I don't hit you more!
Cross: …is it working?
Merry: (kicks him again)
Cross: YEOW!
Merry: JACKASS! - Nami, Chopper and Vivi giving Robin The Glomp and putting them all on the deck, causing Sanji to miss and crash into the mast.
- And Merry giving Sanji a kick for the landing.
- When Cross asks if it means Vivi has forgiven her, Vivi quickly jumps up and denies it. Then Robin offers to write her father (who she crucified) an apology letter. Vivi demands a 20-page-long hand-written essay - and she means with her real hands.
- Just the sheer chaos Cross and Soundbite sow on the Buster Call ships through their Voice Changeling and Ventriloquism and a perfect execution of Bavarian Fire Drills:I repeat, the soldiers on decks four through six are compromised! Apprehend them at once so that they may be court-martialled!
You thought that voice was me!? FOOLS! That was Jeremiah Cross and his damnable snail! Henceforth, all orders must be preceded by the following passcode!
I am telling you the truth, soldier, the ship is lost! Soak all the gunpowder through, make sure that these bastards can't use our vessel for anything but tinder!
Hurry the hell up! If we don't have that birthday cake ready to go in the next minute, Admiral Akainu is going to have all of our heads! And where are the goat hooves!?- And the clincher:Cross & Soundbite: SORRY, GUESS YOU ALL LISTENED TO THE WRONG VOICES! BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME!
- And the clincher:
- Robin stating that they're almost home free, and then Vice-Admiral Momonga shows up.Robin: Why did I open my mouth? I know better by now, so why?
- And when Zoro takes him out, he laments that he cut something he didn't mean to cut (the sea and sky!), and that means he still has a long way to go. Mihawk is in agreement, but Usopp isn’t:Usopp: YOU APOLOGIZE TO EVERY BEGINNER AND WEAKLING IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW!
- And when Zoro takes him out, he laments that he cut something he didn't mean to cut (the sea and sky!), and that means he still has a long way to go. Mihawk is in agreement, but Usopp isn’t:
- Aokiji has to quickly explain his reasoning behind letting the Straw Hats escape lest Sengoku trade him off to Big Mom, where would mean being her human refrigerator till the end of his days.
- And Spandam is still conscious through all the beating that they gave him.
- When Cross holds up a hand for a high five between the three mates of the Straw Hat crew, Zoro and Nami contemplate leaving him hanging... until Cross threatens to air their dirty laundry on the SBS. They comply.
- Cross gives Robin a noogie for his long-awaited revenge, broadcasting it live on the SBS. It actually makes Robin squeal.
- And the fact that Robin has a panicked look right before is all the funnier.
- Merry's Cluster F-Bomb when her Klabautermann eats the Devil Fruit that could save her.Robin: Crude... but accurate, I would say.
Luffy, Chopper, Soundbite & Lassoo: Ditto.
Post-Enies Lobby
- With Chopper incapacitated after Enies Lobby, another physician is brought to treat the Straw Hat Pirates. His prognosis on the crew as a whole: they're utterly insane.
- When Cross offers to give The Reveal to Iceburg, Franky and their associates, he warns that the truth will drive them all insane. Lulu, Tilestone and the Square Sisters vacate the premises.
- But when Franky is still skeptical, Cross offers proof by explaining + demonstrating something he hadn't yet witnessed: Franky's personality changes when he fuels up with the wrong drink. Everyone promptly mobs him with all the crazy drink choices they can find:
- Pumpkin juice? Michael Jackson. "Thrilla!"
- Spinach juice? Popeye. "Stronga!"
- Ale? Ser Iron Ass the blacksmith. "Fantasia!"
- Grape juice? Roman praetor. "Ave Roma!"
- Milk? Brook. "I'm about to pop a--!" And then Cross calls TMI.
- Finally, Zambai rescues his poor bro and gives him actual cola - sorry, diet cola!Exercise Franky: I WANNA GET FITTAH!
- But when Franky is still skeptical, Cross offers proof by explaining + demonstrating something he hadn't yet witnessed: Franky's personality changes when he fuels up with the wrong drink. Everyone promptly mobs him with all the crazy drink choices they can find:
- Once that dies down, an oni, a demon, and a tengu (Zoro, Sanji, and Usopp), give chase to Cross all across Water 7 for making them see Kokoro's mermaid form. And the Oni goes after Leo too for holding back on him.
- And when they finally catch him, they’re suddenly interrupted by a yeti (Chopper) who’s incensed that they're straining their injuries (and making him do the same).
- Experimenting with Merry's new powers:
- Chopper and Donny poking Merry all over to examine her Zoan transition from flesh to wood. When Merry has had enough, we find out that a little girl with the proportionate strength of a caravel is strong enough to swing a dugong by the tail and hammer another dugong into a stone wall.
- Merry can also access her hold from her coat, which she shows by dumping out all of Nami's tree soil and pulling out her ballast crates.
- And then an observing Paulie (who hides equally large amounts of rope on his person the same way) comments on how ridiculous it is.
- And when Merry comments on it, he does a Super Window Jump to get away. Even though a door was readily available.
- Apparently, Merry's favorite food is cloth. Poor Sanji is left horrified, and on his chef's pride has to find a way to turn cloth, pitch, and rope into a gourmet meal.
- Cross holds an interview with Dorry and Broggy, and Hajrudin calls in to ask some questions and talk about some of the stories. Dorry says that the incident in Loco Lokos was not what it was.
- When Dorry and Broggy find out how much their bounties have inflated (฿300,000,000 each), they get the idea to turn in each other for the bounties, then break out. Kashi reminds them that it didn't work the last five times.
- Both Oimo and Kashi (and everyone within earshot sans Cross himself) do a Face Fault when their old captains finally deduce why they had their duel and thus split up the Giant Warrior Pirates: a fishing competition.
- As Cross tries to insist the size of the Sea Kings Dorry and Broggy caught is less important than their power, Terry interrupts over the SBS to shout POWEERRR!!! at the top of his lungs. Soundbite can't figure out how he did it considering the transponder didn't even ring.
- Turns out Kizaru ended up a Wheelchair, Cast and Bandage Mummy after his... "abrupt" meeting with the Red Line.
- Cross, Soundbite and Lassoo fall on their knees and beg for mercy when Nami gets the bill for all the merchandise they destroyed during their escape from the Unluckies.
- And then Nami says seven words that make Cross faint in existential panic:Nami: I'll put it all on your tab.
- And then Nami says seven words that make Cross faint in existential panic:
- Tashigi finally gets one over on Cross: when Cross asks about the newest member of MI6, Tashigi tells him to wait for the next meeting and hangs up on him.
- Earlier in the conversation; Smoker lies to Cross, claiming that Kizaru was injured in a training accident. When Tashigi gives him a questioning look, he writes out "ego". Cross then asks how it happened and when he's told mirrors, tells Nami to be ready with a mirage if they run into the Admiral. Tashigi has an abrupt coughing fit at that.
- When Tashigi informs them of Trafalgar Law's Jenga game, using Marines as the blocks, and Cross reveals Law is technically Sengoku's grandson, Nami wants to stay as far away from Law as possible. Cross cheerfully informs her that they're going to be allies.
- Cross calls the Barto Club for an update, and after hearing why they went through all the trouble of pissing off the WG, Cross thanks Bartolomeo and calls him a good friend. Barty faints in joy.
- And turns out he already tried to get the Luffy figurehead. Luckily, his crew vetoed it.
- And after Cross hangs up, Apis pipes up with a game of strip poker (she was put up to it by Miss Goldenweek), causing everyone to stare at her in horror.
- The next time Kokoro sees Nami, she's stuck in a deep depression. The reason: Franky just headed off to St. Poplar with their money, and she's having separation anxiety.
- When Vivi and Robin get back from their shopping trip, Robin's sporting a fish over a black eye. Turns out that she tried to pull a Stealth Hi/Bye on Vivi, and the princess was so incensed over the panic attack that she ordered Robin to stay still so she could hit her.
- Vivi then uses it to ask Cross to get her a drink. Cross tells her that she should learn to be more independent... while his body is obeying her command and getting the drink against his will.
- Vivi manages to snap Nami out of her depression by telling her the new ship will be big enough to hold enough gold that they'll never have to leave any behind again. The dance number that Nami drags her into leaves her dizzy.
- Which leads to this dialogue:Vivi: Nooo, Daddy, I don't wanna learn ballet, Kohza would never let me hear the end of it.
Robin: But Miss Wednesday, we've already arranged Mr. 2 to teach you.
Vivi: Ugrgrr, tell him he can have Mr. 8, he likes crossdress—hold still.- Credit to Robin for dodging Vivi's punch, but the order makes her do a faceplant.
- Which leads to this dialogue:
- When Merry comes in wailing that she wants to swim but can't anymore, Usopp comes up with a solution. Merry's mood quickly brightens, and then blows up just as quickly when she sees that his solution is an inner tube with her figurehead.
- Garp's entire visit to Water 7:
- He shows up dressed as the tackiest Hawaiian-Shirted Tourist Cross has ever seen, even back in Florida. All of his accompanying subordinates are dressed similarly. Cross's reaction really sells it.Cross (introducing Garp on the SBS): Gaaaaaarp the Heroooooooooh what the fuck are you wearing!?
- When Luffy says that Coby is Natsu Dragneel, Cross and Soundbite all but mangle him for his stupidity transcending time and space.
- After Cross initially prevents him from revealing that Luffy is Dragon's son over the SBS with his foghorn, he goes and blurts it out anyway. Cross calls him stupider than his grandson.
- Then he gets his second-in-command Bogard to Dope Slap Garp with his Snail Transceiver, indestructible that it is. It actually sticks.
- Dragon does a Face Palm and curses Garp for his stupidity.
- Koala, listening over in Baltigo, is thrilled, since she had three incredibly lucrative bets that paid off because of this.
- At Level 5.5, when Ivankov learns that Dragon is Luffy's father, he has an overly dramatic fainting spell, and the okamas rush to get him something to drink... only for Inazuma to mention that Ivankov's Horm-Horm Fruit gives him complete control of his hormones, making him physically incapable of fainting and he was faking it to get in a little extra alcohol. Ivankov immediately and nonchalantly drops the act while Bentham melodramatically cries about Ivankov's betrayal.
- When Garp gets mad at Cross for calling Dragon a hero, Merry tricks him with Crocodile Tears and gets his men to start chastising him, and when he turns his back, she chomps down on his ass and refuses to let go. He winds up losing his shorts before she lets go. In fact, she eats his shorts.
- Conis attempts to take a picture of the event, but she's laughing so hard she can't keep the Vision Dial steady.
- The fire hydrant-print boxers are just the icing on the cake.
- Even his subordinates Laugh Themselves Sick, and they keep spreading the true story of Garp's new ass-scars no matter how much the Vice-Admiral begs them not to and whatever other excuse he tries to come up with.
- Merry taunting the Marines with colorful language and the crew being absolutely proud of her for doing it.
- Cross's parting shot regarding Garp's Fire Hydrant print boxers and the fact that his ship's figurehead is a dog. Everyone breaks down laughing.
- Before he goes, Garp yells at Dragon to "get a job", and calls what he does with the Revolutionary Army a hobby.
- He shows up dressed as the tackiest Hawaiian-Shirted Tourist Cross has ever seen, even back in Florida. All of his accompanying subordinates are dressed similarly. Cross's reaction really sells it.
- With the dugongs practicing and improving their range (Mikey with pistols, Donny with kunai, Raphey with a Fuuma Shuriken), Leo lambastes them for using range like cowards and not up-close with honor. Mikey then calls him out for whining that he can't get any of his Razor Wind attacks working.
- After getting done with Garp, a panicked Galley-La worker runs in and Cross assuming the panic is about the Marines tells him its being handled, except:Galley-La worker: YOU—wait, what? So you already know about the crazy elephant in your crew's storage locker?
Cross: Yes, we've already dealt with the Mari—(Double Take) I'm sorry, could you repeat that?
Galley-La worker: Eh, just that there's a crazy elephant in your crew's storage locker, but hey, if you've already got that handled—!
Cross: Sir, sir, I'd just like to remind you that I've been on the Grand Line for several months now, so I think that it says a lot about just how utterly confused I am when I say WHAT!? - Soundbite may know that every animal has its own voice and will usually give "appropriate" voices, but with the advent of a new animal crewmate, he doesn't care about appropriate voices, he doesn't care about "moral integrity", he doesn't care about potential trans-dimensional copyright lawsuits; he's got the opportunity to have the Disney Holy Trifecta on the crew and he's gonna take it, even if it means giving a shape-shifting elephant sword the voice of Mickey Mouse.
- During the victory barbecue:
- Merry begins chasing Luffy around because she wants to eat his hat.Merry: Come oooon, Captain! Gimme a bite! An eentsy weentsy bite! No, less than that! A nibble, a morsel, even a lick will do! Just let me taste it!
- Cross makes Robin do a picture-perfect (and he should know, he actually got a picture!) Spit Take when he tells her he was willing to undergo a Gender Bender to save Merry. It actually gets Robin to laugh... just like her friend Saul.
- When Cross and Soundbite start an SBS-broadcasted party, the whole party interrupts him to start the SBS.
- And when Cross reveals his new sword Funkfreed in the middle of the party, Vivi only has four things to say.Vivi: Jack, straight up, now.
- Merry begins chasing Luffy around because she wants to eat his hat.
- The first time Cross tries practicing with a transforming Funkfreed, the expansion of elephant knocks him on his ass.
- The Straw Hats going over their new bounties, as well as the other Supernovas'.
- The crew making bets as to their new bounties, losers protect the winners' food from Luffy.
- Upon hearing that Capone Bege robbed the in-universe equivalent of Fort Knox, described as "the wet dream of thieves everywhere", Nami thinks that she just might be in love, much to Sanji's ire.
- When Cross reads Urouge's bounty, he comes to a complete stop as his brain fails to process whatever Urouge did at Kyouka Island. When Vivi sees it, she turns bright red and gets a Nosebleed.
- When Robin mentions that there are likely fourteen Supernovas with the inclusion of Nami and Cross, Cross is unhappy, since "thirteen sounds way cooler than fourteen." Nami, who's less than thrilled with her bounty, gets pissed.
- Sanji, upon seeing the awful drawing in place of his picture, becomes despondent, before launching up and shaking Cross while yelling gibberish. Literal gibberish, even Soundbite can't translate whatever came out of Sanji's mouth.≈√¡∞¢ç∫ߥ$œ¡γ¿∫‰£ç∂£‰¥!
- When Su sees Cross and Soundbite's massive bounty, she passes out.
- Vivi outright wonders if the WG has that much liquid capital. The answer likely would be not after what Bege did.
- Sengoku is surprised by the bounty as well, since he ordered a more reasonable bounty of 500 million. Turns out, Garp forged his signature.
- And what snaps them out of the Heroic BSoD? Cross's foghorn, courtesy of Mikey.
- Su's now "Cottontail", with a bounty 2,000 times that of Chopper's canon one... with said canon one being 50.
- And Chopper going Laughing Mad when he hears what his canon bounty and epithet was.
- The TDWS's bounty picture leaves Cross aghast. Why? Because Soundbite told them to use the Ginyu Force pose.Soundbite: I REGRET nothing. Just be glad I DIDN'T GO JOJO.
- Unlike canon, Nami didn't pose for her bounty poster like a centerfold. However, Vivi did.
- When Nami laughs at her, Vivi angrily replies she did the same in canon and probably for money. Nami shamelessly agrees but remarks that she didn't this time, meaning she's not the one who'll have posters of herself posted on the walls of interested parties for free. Cue Ocular Gushers from Vivi.
- Cross getting abducted by Koala to talk with the Revolutionaries.
- His meeting with Koala. One minute she's mugging him to pull him away for a private chat, the next moment she's hugging him for his talks on human-fishman tolerance, and then she's cold-cocking him for calling her "cuddly".
- Cross learning from Dragon where Spandam is now: Impel Down. Or more precisely, Impel Down's level 5.5, subject to the tender mercies of one Emporio Ivankov.
- Dragon states that once one has experienced the four Blue Seas, Paradise and the New World, nothing fazes him anymore... except maybe Garp's stupidity.
- And at the end of the meeting, Koala cold-cocks Cross again for getting her assigned to the South Pole.
- And then Cross wakes up back with the crew... courtesy of Su blowing his foghorn.
- Finally, Cross learns that he had only been gone for a couple of hours, causing him to pale at the implications. To elaborate, the Revolutionaries had taken Cross to their base on Baltigo (which resides in the New World) and returned him to Water 7 in the span of a shopping trip! Cross wisely decides he doesn't want to know the resources Dragon has to pull that offnote .Cross: (Shocked) Spirited away and spirited back in a matter of hours,...Dragon is scary.
Soundbite: (Whimpering) Agreed.
- Zambai is doing his canon plea to the Straw Hats to take Franky with them when Luffy bluntly says of course Franky's coming with them, seeing as he's already decided that Franky's their new shipwright. An incredulous Zambai tries pointing out that's usually not how it works, only for Zoro, Nami, and Sanji to explain with a mixture of fondness and exasperation that yes, that's exactly how it works with Luffy. Cross then explains to a similarly confused Funkfreed that before the SBS, Luffy's method of recruitment was "a mixture of Luffy's persistence, strength, and charisma, with a healthy dose of blackmail here and there for good measure."Zoro: He held my swords ransom.
Nami: He threatened to make me kill him.
Usopp: He—! (Beat) Actually he didn't do anything to me, he just offered...
Sanji: He nearly destroyed the Baratie. Both from within and without.
Soundbite: HE KNOCKED US out of a two-story TREE!
Chopper: He wouldn't stop chasing me all over the damn castle...
Vivi: The first time I saw him, he knocked me senseless...
Luffy: {laughing} Awww, you guys're making me blush!
Everyone: WE'RE NOT COMPLIMENTING YOU, JACKASS! - When Cross proposes the plan to blackmail Franky onto the crew, courtesy of robbing his speedo, Raphey cheers that finally, the Wardrobe Malfunction is happening to the other gender. The wave of vindictiveness from the females leaves everyone else trembling.
- Soundbite playing poker... and everyone except him is cheating.
- The first meeting of the New World Masons:
- T-Bone is still recovering from his bout with Leo, only to hear that he could've gone up against Zoro instead. T-Bone then feels much better.
- More schadenfreude than anything else, but Tsuru telling the group how Sengoku tore a strip off of Akainu and reassigned him to the New World along with all other "Absolute Justice" Marines (with Garp's encouragement) leaves near-everyone else in stitches.
- And all while Akainu is sitting in a (deliberate) too-small chair.
- The group's reaction to hearing that they're now allies with Dragon is "Sure, Let's Go with That".
- The reveal and naming of the Thousand Sunny:
- Iceburg is the one giving the spiel to the Straw Hats, but Merry thinks he's taking too long and dropkicks him away.
- Merry is indignant that Cross wants to name the ship without Franky being there, but she changes her tune in a blink when she hears that Franky wanted "New Battle Franky, Lion Gang Champion" as the new name.
- All of Luffy's nonsense names.
- Conis suggesting Fluffy McFluffmeister.
- The following dialog:(Robin makes to suggest something)
Cross: Do not say 'Being of Darkness'.
Robin: (gives a Not-So-Innocent Whistle)… 'Nostromo', then?
(Cross does a Face Jerk)
Boss: I'd go for 'Ishimura' myself!
TDWS: Agreed!
(Cross does a Face Spasm)
Soundbite: Tsk! Amateurs, THE LOT OF YOU! Clearly our beloved vessel deserves one name and ONE NAME ONLY!
Cross: Don't you dare. Don't you fucking—!
Soundbite: ALL HAIL THE ENTERPRISE!
(Cross does a Face Fault)
- Iceburg's dumbfoundedness at how many secret functions Merry had put into Sunny's body.
- The Franky Family didn't prepare for the one thing that could stop their plan of stealing Franky's speedo: Their boss buying a spare.
- The reactions when Robin administers the big Groin Attack to Franky. Zoro, four of the five Dugongs, Soundbite and Lassoo are all appropriately feeling the pain, the lone female dugong is enjoying every moment, and when Luffy worries Franky might lose his manhood, we get the crowner:Robin: Oh, don't worry about that. Even if they do happen to detach, I'm certain that Chopper could reattach them.
Chopper: FRANKY! HURRY THE HELL UP AND GIVE IN ALREADY! I HAVEN'T HAD TO TOUCH ANYONE'S SHAME IN MY ENTIRE TIME AS A DOCTOR, AND I DON'T WANT TO START NOW IF I CAN HELP IT! - This exchange where Garp accidentally steals Soundbite's gag, followed by Garp hitting Cross's Berserk Button of threatening Soundbite, and his response:Cross: Ladies and gentlemen, sorry to be so abrupt, but the fact of the matter is that I'm assuming that by now most everyone manages to pick up on the first ring. Aaand our situation is just a tad desperate right now, so we're starting straight out the gate. And speaking of starting! My name is Jeremiah Cross, and it's time—!
Garp: (through a megaphone) —EVEN THINK ABOUT STARTING THE SBS, I'LL TWIST YOUR HEAD CLEAN OFF YOUR SCRAWNY NECK!
Cross: (Eye twitching) So. It's not enough that people stop me from starting the SBS on purpose, but they have to do it by accident, too.
Soundbite: I DON'T CARE IF THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT, that bastard cut me off! I'LL SUE YOU, OLD MAN!
Garp: JUST TRY IT, SNAIL! I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT RIGHT BEFORE THEY PUT YOUR SLIMY ASS DOWN!
Cross: SAY THAT TO MY FACE, YOU SENILE SONNUVA BITCH! I'LL PUNT THE TAPIOCA OUT OF YOU, AND MAKE SURE YOU CAN'T SIT DOWN FOR BINGO FOR WEEKS!
(Beat)
Garp: …Right, screw it. Luffy, you're all gonna die here at sea.- And when Cross tries to continue the lambasting, Vivi begins throttling him again.
- During Garp's attack on the Straw Hats, Boss Dugong gets all excited when he hears that Garp has given his ship an afro, only to be disappointed to realize it's just Garp holding up an enormous cannonball behind the ship's figurehead... which then changes to pants-wetting terror as he realizes the implication of that image."Uhh... guys?" Zoro spoke up with honest curiosity. "Does anyone have an explanation as to how or why the old-timer gave his ship an afro?"
"WHAT?!" Boss exclaimed, he and the TDWS snapping their attention towards the ship. He stared for a moment before sagging. "Oh, that's a let-down, that's just a giant cannonba-HOLY SEBEK THAT'S A GIANT CANNONBALL!" - Luffy spouting out the Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl again right before they Coup de Burst out.Luffy: HEY, GRAMPS! OTHER MARINES! YOU GUYS'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS AS THE DAY YOU ALMOST CAUGHT MONKEY D. LUFFY AND THE STRAW HAT PIRA—(BOOM!)—AAAAAHAHAHAHAAAA!
- And the Cliffhanger ending of the chapter: Cross can't believe the crew got captured by the Accino family, and he especially can't believe the TDWS got beaten by a quartet of high-fiving Fierce Penguins.
Thriller Bark Saga
Lovely Land
- The lengths Vivi goes to in order to keep Cross from saying the wrong thing to the Accino family, including twisting his ear and using her Compelling Voice.
- Likewise, Cross's antics while muted, mainly his charades that Vivi then Dope Slaps him for.
- Sanji and Chopper are in for a hell of a time when they find out just how spicy Don Accino likes his food.
- Which is Accino's point, with how much he hates the Hirunos, they'll either endure the heat or starve.
- Arbell gently asks if Merry can keep up with Usopp and Franky on building and painting decorations due to her young body. Merry's response is... interesting.Merry: That's actually a fair point! Allow me to offer my calm and measured rebutRAGH!!
(Merry leaps at Arbell only to be held back by Zoro and Franky)
Raphey: Yo, Merry, calm your tits! Save it for—
Merry: Bitch, my tits are calm. The left is named Siddhartha Buddha and the right one is Vardhamana Mahavira, and together they are a lactating fount of peace and understanding. It is the rest of me that's pissed. AND AS FOR YOU! ''I'LL RIP YER BLOOMERS OFF AND STUFF 'EM DOWN YER BLOODY GULLET! YERS AND ALL YER ICE-LUBBIN' FLAG-STEALIN'—- And then Cross and Soundbite put her on mute.
- Robin is tasked with playing the piano. Unfortunately for her, she ends up revealing something else about herself:Robin: I like to think that I'm quite proficient. After all… nobody ever pays attention to the lonely piano man…
Vivi: Ah… Wait, that phrase… where do I—?
Robin: I'll, ah, just be getting to that—!
Carue: Oh, yeah, now I wemembah! Dat's a wine fwom "Da Woved and Da Wovewess!" You know, dat twashy West Bwue womance novel you—WACK!
Robin: I will pluck you nude and cook you into a turducken. - Everything involving the Fierce Penguins and their boss, Skipper, the Mad Penguin of Gascar. Especially his rivalry with Boss.
- Vivi turning into a Bridezilla case when it comes to directing the wedding.Vivi: Nononono, this table needs to be 2.68 inches to the north and .54 inches to the east, or the feng shui of the room will be off! And the chairs have to be in an exact hexagonal configuration at the specified coordinates! For all the tables!
- And it turns out there's more. When she brought out the plan for the wedding, everyone assumed she wrote it on the spot. Turns out those were her plans for her perfect dream wedding, made ever since she was a little girl.
- And when she admits that fact, Cross uncomfortably tells her that with the Straw Hat Pirates as her friends and family, the odds of her having that perfect wedding are very, very small. Vivi proceeds to flip out at him.
- Brindo and Campacino arguing which is their family color, blue or red. The irony? Brindo is wearing red and advocating for blue, while Campacino is wearing blue and advocating for red.
- The land animal contingent of the Straw Hats (Carue, Su, Lassoo and Funkfreed) are in charge of dealing with any unwanted wedding gift surprises. Not as easy as it sounds, since some of those gifts are dangerous, poisonous, inappropriate, alive, or some combination thereof.
- Don Accino makes a menu composed entirely of super-spicy foods. Including the punch (which is so hot it has to be served in a steel cauldron). During the brawl, the bowl of punch gets dumped all over the Hiruno matriarch who starts screaming.Hiuo Hiruno: IT BURNS! IT BUUURNS! THE AGONY, THE AAAGONY! I'M MELTING! MEEEEELTIIIIING!
- Knowing how tenacious Sanji would be about the cooking, Luffy took some of Franky's blueprints and came up with an elaborate rope-based invention to move the food to where he was. Vivi promptly hogties him in the very rope he was planning to use as a trigger.
- This becomes a Brick Joke later on in the chapter. After the Straw Hats manage to escape the wedding, Luffy notes the rope is still there and wants to see if the contraption still works. He pulls it — and causes every single support beam in the church to split in half. The church promptly collapses in on itself.Soundbite: ONLY LUFFY could do THIS by accident.
- This becomes a Brick Joke later on in the chapter. After the Straw Hats manage to escape the wedding, Luffy notes the rope is still there and wants to see if the contraption still works. He pulls it — and causes every single support beam in the church to split in half. The church promptly collapses in on itself.
- More meta-humor than anything, but Cross says that with Oda's stance on romance, they'll never have to attend another wedding ever in this story, especially not one involving political alliances. B.R.O.B. has a laughing fit through Soundbite's mouth.
- The wedding ceremony itself:
- When it comes time for the wedding Robin, who's on piano, starts playing "Night on Bald Mountain". When Cross corrects her, she tries "Hall of the Mountain King".
- When Soundbite asks why they didn't get him to do the wedding march, Cross says it's because he'd have done a version entirely composed of farts. Soundbite admits that's true.
- And that's just the first brick out. The second is Vivi finding out that the priest had abandoned proceedings, having taken Robin's epithet too literally. So who's the poor sap that has to take his place? One guess, and he's blond, bandaged and big-mouthed.
- And the priest's Bible isn't any help either: turns out the priest used it as a Book Safe for his vodka flask.
- After Lil says no to the wedding, she forces Burrato (the groom) to stand up for himself. He does, refusing to be wed as well and calling out his heinous family, before announcing his dream: to be a mortician.
- Even better as Cross had warned Soundbite earlier to not let him put the ring on a corpse. When the above happens, Soundbite reveals that he had to be stopped from doing exactly that.
- And even when Lil accidentally blurts the plans to sabotage the wedding, the brawl doesn't start right away. It takes Don Accino and Hiuo Hiruno attacking each other, Cross blowing up the Hirunos' ship (after a few button mishaps), smashing Pavarotto Hiruno in the face with the Bible, and Cross yelling at the crowd for everyone to stop gawking and start the mayhem.
- When it comes time for the wedding Robin, who's on piano, starts playing "Night on Bald Mountain
- In the middle of the wedding brawl, Cross and Vivi end up yelling in each other's faces, demanding to know whose fault it was that sparked the whole thing. Then Soundbite figures it out: Robin's little pep talk to Lil was what made her decide to say no to marriage, which was the spark to a very big powderkeg. Robin promptly gets conked on the head by her irate crewmates.
- After getting away from Lovely Land, Vivi proposes skipping their next adventure, just in case. Cross simply tells them what's at stake and everyone starts getting ready: a population trapped in a Fate Worse than Death (Vivi, Carue, Conis, Su, and Robin), ฿300 million (Nami), predatory voyeur with Clear-Clear Fruit (Sanji), A Man’s Romance (Usopp, Boss, TDWS), new sword for Zoro (Zoro), biggest pirate ship in Paradise (Franky and Merry), evil doctor (Chopper), and the crew's musician (Luffy).
- And when Cross cheerfully mentions to Conis exactly what's in store (sea of no return, army of zombies, really big giant zombie, and two Warlords Of The Sea), he hastily escapes to his sound room right before his crewmates mob him.
Thriller Bark
- While showing off more of Sunny's Hidden Supplies, Merry reveals a railing space that holds a lunch box... only to find out Luffy had already eaten it, despite knowing how inedible it is. Chopper goes for the Heimlich, Zoro goes for the kerosene, and Cross goes for the camera.
- Cross's SBS Lecture on "How Not To Tempt Fate 101":
- On Navarone, Drake is browbeaten by Ain into taking very detailed notes.
- Once again, Garp starts to threaten Sengoku's blood pressure and is asked to leave, and he does. But then he pops back in to ask for his snacks, and Sengoku's blood cuff pops off.
- A Barto Club newbie comments on how stupid the idea of Tempting Fate is. You may proceed to shake your head in sympathy at the poor sap.
- A caller into the SBS asks if "swapping his mum's hair dye and his dad's hair gel and then saying 'They'll never find out it was me'" counts as Tempting Fate. Cross proceeds to differentiate between "Tempting" and "Antagonizing" Fate, especially if he says so on a live radio broadcast, without even using the optional anonymity filter.
- Cross pulls a Duck Season, Rabbit Season when ending the SBS:Cross: So, until next time, this is Soundbite—
Soundbite: And Jeremiah Cro—WAIT, WHAT? - Since Cross ended the SBS due to a storm warning, Su proceeds to demonstrate that she wasn't paying attention. Wet cloud fox, anyone?
- And when she proceeds to leap at Cross to maul him, Cross simply snatches her out of the air.
- While Cross and the more immature members start Waxing Lyrical to Binks' Brew, Vivi finds herself joining in. And she has a nice voice, though when she finds herself the only one singing when everyone else starts gawking, she shyly clams up.
- The resulting party has everyone so into it, Cross has to do a Double Take to notice Brook singing along with them.
- And on Brook's actual introduction:
- Donny and Vivi proceed to faint when Brook opens his skull.
- Conis is initially perfectly polite until Merry says that the dead don't normally walk the earth on the Blue Seas. Conis promptly joins the above two in catatonia.
- Luffy asks if Brook poops, and Mikey joins in with the skull jokes. While Raphey gives the latter two the Dope Slaps, Funkfreed is the one that does it to Luffy - so hard that his head is squished into his chest.
- Brook freaks out at the talking animals. Everyone promptly objects.
- Why is Leo so happy that Brook is joining? With another swordsman, he’s now no longer Zoro's sole training whetstone.
- Leo actually tried to protest the inclusion of the living skeleton in the crew... until Cross "innocently" revealed Brook was a swordsman.Leo: (shaking the skeleton's hand) LIKE I WAS SAYING, WELCOME TO THE CREW, BROOK!
- Leo actually tried to protest the inclusion of the living skeleton in the crew... until Cross "innocently" revealed Brook was a swordsman.
- Brook's dead jokes in canon were pretty good, but other members of the crew getting in on them make it even better. And then Cross tricks Nami into making one.Cross: Oh, come off it, Nami! This? This bony bastard's jokes are golden. You should try it sometime! No, wait, lemme guess. Over your dead body, right?
Nami: Right. Over my dead—! THWACK - Brook playing bait for Perona: first she scares him off by him being scared of ghosts, then while she’s berating the zombies for being intimidated, he comes back, compliments her, then asks if he can see her panties. Cue manic chase.
- Usopp, Conis, Robin, Cross, and Lassoo are the first ones to land on Thriller Bark and meet Hogback directly. With all the gags Soundbite is spouting, Cross soon realizes what's going on:Cross: Male Coward— Female Beauty— Female Brainiac— Male Leader… and a Talking Dog. Sonnuva bitch we're freaking Mystery Incorporated, One Piece Edition.
- Those gags of Soundbite? He makes Cross say "C'mon gang!" and even changes Lassoo's laugh to Scooby's "Reeheehee!"
- And topped off by Usopp leaping into Conis's arms in fright.
- The impromptu zombie dancing number to the tune of the one and only Thriller. Good enough, but even better with Cross in the leading role!Cross: EAT YOUR HEART OUT, JACKSON!
- And this time it's Robin that does the Ear Ache drag. When the zombies regain their senses and try to work out what to do next, Robin's Death Glare has them all doing ostrich impersonations.
- Soundbite hears out Cindry's entrance in the well, causing Hogback to jump out in shock.
- On the Sunny, Cross says that Sanji will blow the pavilion roof off when he hears what Absalom did in canon. Franky bets a million berries he can't. One explosive outburst later, Franky is left with a repair job and some words to eat.
- After Sanji is done with Absalom, he laments the missed opportunity to eat the Clear-Clear Fruit and disappear. While the Cross-Brain does not play this for laughs at first, Carue calls Sanji out on his peeping desires and the predictable reaction from Nami and Vivi results when he's unable to deny it.
- Su a.k.a. "Solid Fox" playing assassin with the spider-mice.
- When Cross springs the trap and takes out both Cindry and Buhichuck and immobilizes Hogback, Thriller Bark's own ambush... doesn't go off. Until Su calls them out.Su: BRING IT THE HELL ON, YOU PATHETIC PACK OF PATCHWORK PALAVERS!
- And when it's all over, we have this:Usopp: … is that all of them?
Soundbite: LEMME CHECK! BRING OUT YER DEAD!
One last zombie: Ah'm not dead ye—!
Cross: Off the helmet aaaaand—! (salts the zombie) Nailed it!
- And when it's all over, we have this:
- Rear Admiral Brannew calling maneuvering orders on Straw Hat Anti-Fallout Task Force under Garp's orders (which he never got), both to get back at Garp for making him publish Cross's huge bounty and to give him a legitimate excuse to ignore the Straw Hats and the Voices of Anarchy (who by now are getting Hogback to go on an ego-boosted tirade).
- Finally, Perona pops up, having heard Hogback's aforementioned ego-boosted tirade via Brook's Transponder Snail and is prepared to Negative the lot. However the Straw Hats are more concerned with the spilled dinner than her, much to her displeasure.
- And just why are they so nonchalant? Because they know who Perona will have to deal with in a few seconds... and Perona gets the biggest Oh, Crap! of her life when she hears just who:Chopper: I~ spy~ with my little eye~ A sma~ll room within a ma~ssive floor filled~ with pillars. And in the bed that's in that room, a gothic Lolita lies, utterly dead to the world. My initial diagnosis? This should be... FUN.
- Perona rushes back to her body and wakes up, she becomes relieved that nothing is out of place and she hugs the nearest plushy in relief... until she realizes that she doesn't own any plushies with top hats. Cue sedative.Chopper: Night-night, princess.
- And just why are they so nonchalant? Because they know who Perona will have to deal with in a few seconds... and Perona gets the biggest Oh, Crap! of her life when she hears just who:
- Despite Leo and Donny's efforts, they don't stop Moria's wake-up-arrow from being launched, but a Tidal Swimming Mikey manages to intercept it. Leo and Donny are appreciative, but Mikey isn't:Mikey: STOP COMPLIMENTING ME AND HELP ME GET THE HELL DOWN! I'M STARTING TO LOSE FEELING IN MY DAMN TAIL!
- And during the planning stages, the former two also take the mick out of Cross and Mikey for having good ideas.
- Basically most of the zombies' panic when the crew really starts to press on them. This gem in particular:
- Soundbite commenting that Su is on a Genocide Run.
- Even if Soundbite wasn't planning it as such, the way he warns Su to not go to a certain room in the mansion is nothing short of Schmuck Bait, since as soon as he breaks off, the cloud fox zooms off to check it out. She immediately regrets it when Tararan shows up.Soundbite: Dare I ask WHY?
Su: ...I wanted the challenge?
Soundbite: ...Ironically? THAT'S THE SAME JUSTIFICATION MOST PEOPLE GIVE FOR THE GENOCIDE RUN.- However, Tararan ends up on the wrong end of the confrontation, on account that he swallows Su whole... only to be purified by the salt stored in her tail.Su: Honestly, now… Swallowing me whole like that, when my tail's weighing heavy with salt? Unbelievable. I mean, really, apart from my bandanna, I'm nude. Where did he think I was keeping this stuff, up my ass?
- However, Tararan ends up on the wrong end of the confrontation, on account that he swallows Su whole... only to be purified by the salt stored in her tail.
- Upon learning of Su's victory, Cross and Hogback voice their shock...in perfect unison.
- Even if Soundbite wasn't planning it as such, the way he warns Su to not go to a certain room in the mansion is nothing short of Schmuck Bait, since as soon as he breaks off, the cloud fox zooms off to check it out. She immediately regrets it when Tararan shows up.
- Donny finds himself facing the flaming likes of Fire Zombie Bill.
- And then he manages to beat him by using his own habit of Chewing the Scenery against him: by taking out a rice ball in the middle of the battle, he gets Bill to eat it instead... and he promptly explodes on account of all the salt in the rice ball.
- Bill's minions' reaction? Turn the corpse into chunky salsa and open up the alcohol.
- Raphey and Lola end up meeting and facing off against Zombie Lola (Zola for short), and Raphey can't resist making the following crack. Zola... does not take it well.Raphey: I know I can't be the first one to say it, so I'm gonna be upfront here and get it off my chest: Lipstick on a pig.
- Raphey's later taunt to distract Zola from Lola deserves mention as well.Raphey: "Your warts have some hog on them."
- Raphey's later taunt to distract Zola from Lola deserves mention as well.
- Nami prevents Vivi from chugging a bottle of "organ destroying grade" alcohol after Cross arrive riding a fire-breathing Cyborg Zombie T-rex.Vivi: He is riding a cyborg zombie t-rex!
Zoro: That breathes fire.
Vivi: CRAM IT, ZORO!
Lola: Fair warning, Princess: If something like this bothers you now, you're going to rot your liver out by the time we reach the New World.
Vivi: But-
Carue: Uh, Vivi? Cwoss is fighting a zombie apocawypse while widing a fiyah-bweathing undead cybowg T-Wex. I think yoah awgument is invawid.- And then Nami drinks said bottle of "organ destroying grade" alcohol, because she has both the habit and the tolerance.
- In a very dark way, after the Straw Hats have very carefully spent their entire time on Thriller Bark trying to make sure Moria doesn't wake up to get in their way, he wakes up anyway.
- After the confrontation with Kuma, everyone finds a way to get the hell away from the very crazed Chopper, barring those who try to break doctor's orders and get sedated.
- When Thriller Bark begins to sail out of the Florian Triangle and everyone begins to see the dawn, Cross expects Zoro and Luffy to wake up at that exact moment and begin raising hell, only for no such thing to occur. Lola comments that the timing is too cliché and asks if they think they're in some sort of comic. She's promptly confused when everyone else starts cackling.
- With a Straw Hat party about to be underway, Raphey and Boss wake from their sedation - only to find out that the other Kung-Fu Dugongs had indulged in some Face Doodling. The two victims are not pleased.
- Leo is still perfectly calm in the face of the imminent beatdown, though, since he bets the two won't want to risk (a currently sleeping) Chopper's wrath for going against doctor's orders. However, Merry flatly passes on Chopper's message that in the event of moronic provocation, all medical intervention will be administered post-beatdown.
- And when Mikey asks for another backup plan, Leo administers the lesson he learned from Cross — throw his fellows under the bus and make a break for it.
- Lola's induction into the New World Masons has a few choice moments.
- After Lola tells her origins as one of Big Mom's daughters, Merry, Tashigi and Bartolomeo devolve into Ocular Gushers - the former due to Franky's influence, the latter due to his Nanna's romance novels.
- During the talk, Lola starts to propose to Bartolomeo, Apoo, and Foxy when Soundbite speaks up.Soundbite: BRO-TO-BRO ALERT: HELL'S NO!
Lola: Hey, wait a-!
Bartolomeo: Hell's no.
Apoo: Not happening.
Foxy: THE SEA IS MY ONLY MISTRESS!
Lola: ...Sonnuva.
Cross: HEY, RISKIES! REJECTIONS 4461 THROUGH 4463, ALL AT THE SAME TIME! - The sole reason the newest member of the Zodiac of the Damned is named Rabbit?Soundbite: BECAUSE HER NAME IS LOLA!.
Cross: Don't ask. - After Soundbite reveals that the Florian Triangle is sentient and friendly, three moments occur: Merry pulling a Security Cling on Cross's face when she sees the Triangle's three Obelisks, Vivi tentatively waving to them and Fainting when an Obelisk waves back, and Merry being scared stiff when she can't take any more.
- After getting a report that Cipher Pols 7 and 8 have disappeared, Sengoku gets a call.Sengoku: If you are calling to report that the Cipher Pol 6 unit has disappeared, for the sake of your well-being, I suggest that you hang up now.
Caller: (hangs up) - Coo is really starting to get sick of Terry and Isaiah and their exultations of the Swagger and Bear Glove flocks... since he knows the best flock is the Wing & Hammer flock. Cross resists the urge to Head Desk with difficulty.
- Nami's reasoning for why she's not getting yelled at for offering herself up to Kuma in exchange for Cross's life:Nami: Because I am a cute and adorable lamb of innocence who can do no wrong.
Merry: (while chugging a barrel of pitch) I resent that! - Cross gets Nami and Zoro to exchange sake to declare them blood brothers, only to accidentally use COMRADE-Grade South Blue vodka, something that even Nami and Zoro find overwhelmingly strong.
- When Cross and Soundbite prepare for another broadcast, the Rolling Pirates mob-rush them and start the SBS themselves. Cross promptly sics Funkfreed and his Pachy-Riot on them.
- Upon learning that Lola was untouchable in the Florian Triangle, Big Mom's scream of rage was so immense that her Conqueror's Haki knocked out all of Totland for weeks except for Pudding, who had Nitro plug her ears in time.
- In the middle of leaving the newly-dubbed Skelter Bite, the Straw Hats suddenly realize that Perona had stowed away on their ship. Then it turns out that the reason that Sunny let her sneak on board is that, when Merry did so, Robin ended up a valued crewmate.Perona: Oh please, I have no interest in joining your band of lucky rookies. I'm only here because I don't have anywhere else to go, and because you wrecked the only home I've known for years now, you all get to take responsibility!
(Beat)
Perona: What? What is it?
Straw Hats: That's exactly what Robin said.
Strong World Saga
Little East Blue
- Usopp sees Cross taking a hammock nap, and makes full use of the opportunity. Though he was planning on just undoing the lines and dumping Cross out, the switch he hits instead drops a pulley on Cross and knocks him to the deck.
- Though Cross gets back at Usopp by chucking all of his armor at his head at once.
- Chopper's plan to help Brook unlock the Astral Projection potential of his powers: have Donny slowly lower the skeleton into a tub until his soul gets scared enough to flee his body.
- And when Donny asks why he is helping instead of someone stronger or with more Devil Fruit knowledge, Chopper bluntly tells him that he's now his assistant as he's been getting swamped with work lately, and he doesn’t want to resort to overusing his stim pack if he can help it.
- Eventually, Perona gets sick of the noise and Negatives Donny to get him to drop Brook. Everyone (including Brook) is so panicked that they don't notice Brook's head floating over them.
- And the panic makes Brook even more senile than before, at least until Chopper gives his spirit a Dope Slap with his own skull.
- When the New World Masons call, Merry is the one who takes the call and ends up tricking Fullbody with one of Cross's favorite false titles.
- And Merry also remembers "the raging asshole who tried to sink her on a whim to impress the bimbo he was carting around". Fullbody, who has a bit of neurosis about being remembered, immediately wishes he wasn't, especially since Tashigi could hear that.
- When Merry doesn't puncture Tashigi's pride about being a Marine, the Lieutenant rejoices at not having the piss taken out of her for once. Merry makes a mental note to get Cross to cut down on the heckling.
- At Perona's request for a room of her own, Sanji proceeds to clear out the gym in the crow's nest for her, including the two swordsmen who were using it at the time. Robin marvels at despite how often the two of them clash, they still keep it interesting.
- And just like his fellows, Mikey finds himself being Sanji's assistant (and brawl co-partner and Leo's opponent in this case), since he was given a choice between being Sanji's sous-chef or spare ingredients.Zoro: You really scraped the bottom of the barrel for a protégé.
Sanji: Not a lot of options to work with, and in his defense, I wasn't completely joking.
Mikey: I can't tell either way, so like hell am I taking any chances! So do me a favour and lie down and die before I get turned into lunch!
- And just like his fellows, Mikey finds himself being Sanji's assistant (and brawl co-partner and Leo's opponent in this case), since he was given a choice between being Sanji's sous-chef or spare ingredients.
- This little exchange:Merry: What's the context for this tête-à-tête, my dear, devious.... damn, can't think of a good D-word.
Robin: Damsel, perhaps?
Merry: Not on your damned life. - Robin's justification for why Nami ultimately has to befriend Perona over the other female Straw Hats. Namely, Vivi dislikes Perona referring to herself as a princess (Vivi being an actual princess), Conis finds Perona too creepy, Raphey doesn't care for anyone who can't throw a punch, Merry's opinion of cuteness is the exact opposite of Perona. And why doesn’t she consider herself as a possibility?Robin: I'm afraid that she finds me a bit creepy.
- Robin goes hunting for Perona's stuffed Bearsy with her Ojos Fleur, and gets a look at the underwear that Vivi has on today.
- The situation that gives Nami the opportunity to help Perona: with Bearsy somehow tangled up in Sunny's rigging, Perona goes up to get him, only to get tangled up herself.
- And when she almost falls overboard after getting unwound, Nami has to go and catch her.Nami: You really take that 'let them eat cake' thing to heart, I take it?!
- Of course, Perona doesn't take well to getting rescued, until she gets splashed by sea foam.
- After a tender bonding moment, Nami gets Soundbite to tell Cross and Robin that their manipulative tricks will have consequences.
- And Robin isn't too reassured by Cross musing that retribution to her instead of him would be a nice change of pace.
- And when she almost falls overboard after getting unwound, Nami has to go and catch her.
- Conis finally managing to turn the tables on Su for all the embarrassing childhood stories.
- But Su manages to deflect attention by pointing out that Boss, who Conis is sparring with, has left himself open. Conis takes full advantage.
- And it gets even better when Boss is knocked into Luffy going for a Batter Up!, which knocks the chief ship guard clear off the ship.
- But Su manages to deflect attention by pointing out that Boss, who Conis is sparring with, has left himself open. Conis takes full advantage.
- Perona Tempting Fate to get something to happen to her (namely Luffy's arm reaching down to grab one of them), and using her position and astral form to get Luffy to grab Cross instead.
- Nami admits that that's Actually Pretty Funny, but warns Perona of exactly how vindictive Cross can get. Perona is forced to concede.
- The Straw Hats enjoying shore leave on Little East Blue:
- Franky and Usopp help a villager named Luigia rebuild her fake mansion into a real mansion, but Franky can't help but put cannons on it.
- And Yoko completely buys Usopp's schpiel about how gazebos are vicious creatures.
- Mendo getting into a spar with Zoro and overstraining himself, leading to Chopper Bandage Mummifying both of them and holding an impromptu medical lecture to the dojo students.
- Vivi and Conis decide they want Robin to teach them how to read Poneglyphs. Robin is ecstatic over the prospect of having apprentices, having her first lesson plan prepared since she was a child! Ladies, I'm afraid you Didn't Think This Through.Vivi: Oh, dear sweet Horus, we're her dollies.
- And Carue flatly abandons the girls on account of how his bodyguard duties specifically don't extend to tutors.
- The Orenami Fanclub show Nami the statue they created in her honor based on her "new" wanted poster. At first, she's actually flattered, but then one member mentions the "other" statue based on her canon wanted poster note . They manage to calm Nami's anger with a good excuse, but then he accidentally mentions even more statues that they created in the process. Cue a lightning storm.
- The TDWS listening to a rather long-winded scholar, and only Donny is paying attention; Mikey and Raphey have completely conked out and the only reason Leo hasn't done likewise is that he's going through his training exercises.
- Cross and his partners at a cafe:
- Soundbite tries the "HONK-HONK" order for a hard-boiled egg, but notes that the gag isn't as fresh for some reason.
- Everyone makes note of Lassoo gorging himself on steaks, which the dachshund takes offense to.Lassoo: I'm not fat, I'm hefty!
- Franky and Usopp help a villager named Luigia rebuild her fake mansion into a real mansion, but Franky can't help but put cannons on it.
- Yoko and her single-minded hatred towards pirates leads her to secretly follow them around, taking notes on the things they do and misinterpret them as actual evil things to later report to the rest of the town.
- Her dismay when her loyal companion Boss proves to be just as excited at the Straw Hats' arrival as the rest of the town.
- Her constant reminders to herself that she’s, in fact, supposed to be the good guy here when she does things like monologue and break into Evil Laughter.
- The fact that the Little East Blue townsfolk tried to get her to listen to the SBS so she could see not all pirates are bad, only for the first broadcast they coaxed her to listen to was the one where Cross was talking about Marine corruption.
- Cross's first defense that Luffy isn't evil? That he's too stupid to be evil.
- Right after that she claims that you can't believe anything pirates say, and starts denying everything Cross and co. which leads to this jewel:Yoko: They. Are. Pirates. You can't believe anything they say!
Cross: We're not here to cause trouble.
Yoko': YES, YOU ARE!
Soundbite: We've never killed anyone.
Yoko: LIKE I BELIEVE THAT!
Funkfreed: Your name is Yoko.
Yoko: NO IT'S NOT! (Face Palm) Dang it.
- Right after that she claims that you can't believe anything pirates say, and starts denying everything Cross and co. which leads to this jewel:
- Cross neatly puncturing all of Yoko's arguments that his crew are here to pillage the town, although he’s at a loss for Franky rebuilding Luigia's house.
- Then he hears that Luigia had a mock-up of a mansion nailed to her shack:Cross: Wait, we've met two loonies with the same delusion!?
- Then he hears that Luigia had a mock-up of a mansion nailed to her shack:
- Moments during Cross's battle with the Amigo Pirates:
- Cross saying he's gotten stronger because Lassoo has gotten heavier.
- Soundbite's insult to the Amigo brothers sends Lassoo into guffaws:Soundbite: ¡Tu padre era un chupacabra y tu madre era su merienda de medianoche! Translation please?
- Cross calling a Mid Battle Pit-Stop for Usopp and Merry to repair a misfired trick load in Lassoo's chamber.
- And Corto doesn't recover until they finish and Cross blasts him in the face.
- Cross pulls a Bull Seeing Red against Corto, but instead of red, he uses his coat and fat jokes.Cross: Toro, to-! Oh, wait, my apologies! Allow me to be more appropriate: fatso, fatso!
- And when it finally brings the Amigo First Mate down, Cross goes Large Ham with foot-on-chest, cheering clasped hands, and faux-thanking speech.
- At the start of Cross's battle, Yoko's thought processes are seen to be represented by three miniature versions of herself: Marine!Yoko, Justice!Yoko, and Girl!Yoko. The former two fight amongst each other due to their moral stances while the latter just looks on.
- Yoko: I am conflicted.
- Once Cross faces off against Largo, Girl!Yoko slams the other two's heads to finally shut them up and finally shows her support at Cross.
- How does Cross take his revenge against Perona? Stink-bombing her real-life body and the whole room it's in!
Strong World
- Cross is woken up by Merry... with all the obnoxiousness of a kid on Christmas morning.
- T-Bone and his new recruit Yoko find a metal crate in the town they've docked in, with a slit in it. Yoko takes a look into the darkness, and is promptly scared onto her seat when the darkness looks back.
- Once Yoko gets her wits back and looks in again, she sees a plus-sized projection-capable Visual Transponder Snail. Which chooses that exact moment to start projecting.
- The Dadan Bandits, while watching the show on the Visual Transponder Snail, think back to a few Noodle Incidents with the Mt. Corvo trio:
- When the boys fell into a rabbit hole and into a land of fairy tales and wonder... only to be later told they'd experienced a spore-assisted Mushroom Samba.
- On-screen, they watch Luffy activate his Gum-Gum Balloon to cushion his and Cross's landing... only for Cross to experience an involuntary Spring Jump when Luffy doesn't exhale. Mogra thinks back to a similar occurrence with Ace.
- One little beastie that Cross encounters... a rabbit. Which is exactly as dangerous as you think it is.
- Cross marks it the sixth time he's been chased by rodents, counting the 4 times with Mr. 13 and once with Hattori (feather-rat). The pigeon in question feels a strong sense of annoyance.
- Ironically, none of them are actually rodents.
- And speaking of Sneeze Cuts, Mayor Woop Slap starts talking about Cross, causing Cross to sneeze just in time to dodge a sudden lunge.
- Cross marks it the sixth time he's been chased by rodents, counting the 4 times with Mr. 13 and once with Hattori (feather-rat). The pigeon in question feels a strong sense of annoyance.
- Twice in a row, Boss is all ready to rumble, only for a freak gust of wind to blow him out of screen.
- Cross's next encounter is with a frog with a scorpion on its back. When Cross runs into a clearing that's not suited for jumping, he starts taunting the pair, only for the scorpion to start carrying the frog instead.Cross: (whining) But... that's not fair.
- Luckily, Cross gets the last laugh in the end, when he causes some Funkfreed-assisted Branch Failure.
- This exchange from the Baratie:Customer: Waiter, I have a quandary!
Chef: Well, it didn't come from our kitchen! We run a clean ship here!
Zeff: (flat look) Let me get that for you, sir. (chucks a plate at his chef) Clean the stupid off it, halfwit! - Soundbite mentioning that they left the fire-spitting animals a few islands back. Guess what their next encounter is?
- Jonathan is enjoying the Straw Hats' adventure on Merveille for two reasons: 1. He has experience with knowing what happens when you let the Straw Hat Pirates loose on your own turf, and 2. Seeing them in such stress after said experience is more than a little cathartic.Henrick: Permission to requisition popcorn from the kitchen?
Jonathan: Ensign, I order you to bring up the whole car with all the fixings. - So how does Cross get away from his overly incendiary pursuer? Boss, with the insensate pangolin that'd been blowing him everywhere.
- We get a glimpse at just how much like bandits the Foxy Pirates made out to be after their broadcasted Davy Back Fight, on account of an incident named "the Mock Island Massacre".Foxy: (drooling) Sooo many drunk idiots thinking they could outmuscle us! And every one of them completely wrong! Oh, may the world never run short on suckers!
- A bit of Mood Whiplash as Foxy realizes the bird watching the Straw Hats is flying away from Luffy's group and ruining their betting session, only to focus in on another group of Straw Hats, which means some different betting is in order.
- Said group includes Sanji, who’s shouting for his lovelies; Conis, who’s shouting for her friends; Mikey, who’s shouting for a good fight; and Usopp, who’s crying that the noise is attracting so much danger.
- Mikey signs his rationale for a good fight (it's fun), and Usopp has to pause to check the dictionary.
- As a giraffe charges in for another fight, Sanji comments on how giraffe killing machines are still stupid. Elsewhere, Kaku joins Hattori in irritation.
- When a boar decides to make Usopp its goring target, Usopp stands his ground, and some onlookers (in particular Pickles) expect something really awesome to occur. After Conis takes down both targets, Usopp keels over in frozen fear.
- An Offscreen Moment of Awesome when Su trots into view after taking down a gigantic monster squirrel all on her lonesome. Now remember all the drugs the animals had in their systems and their effects when consumed.
- And to deal with the giraffe, Usopp breaks out the "Super Mega Ultra Turtle Destruction Wave: Version Omega", his hands start glowing, the giraffe beats feet... and Usopp turns off the Lamp Dial in his hands.
- And just as his companions are about to start yelling again, Usopp isn't having any of it and Shave-gags all of them with duct tape.
- This inspires Foxy to have Porche go to the nearest hardware store to get some.
- Another look at another group of Straw Hats: Robin, Franky, Vivi, Carue, Donny and Brook, who are dealing with an overly-long snake and a bucking bronco:
- Brook is a little slow at implementing his plan, so Robin gives him some... motivation.
- And when Robin finally gets free, she proceeds to tie the snake up in knots, which the rest proceed to use to hogtie the bronco.
- Also, Brook had a basket stuck on his head for the entire fight. All the Alabastan onlookers thought it was a hat.
- Zoro and his group are still stuck in the blizzard because they're letting him navigate. Why? Apparently when the others tried, the results were actually worse.
- When Leo declares he'll lead them out of the blizzard, he throws out one of his swords dramatically...only to stab a monster in the side. Cue the Great Dugong Fleet doing a Collective Face Palm.
- When their group meets Xiao and finally finds the way out, Merry immediately takes off... back the way they came. Once she realizes it, she gives Zoro a Death Glare for his influence while the rest of them are laughing at her.
- And where’s Raphey? Cooling her heels on the Sunny, knowing she can't leave as a ship guard, stuck with doodling on Perona's body and getting bored right out of her shell.
- Genzo has his blood pressure raised again, on account of seeing Nami on the worldwide broadcast - stepping out of the pool in a bikini.
- After Shiki, Indigo, and Scarlet perform their little dance routine for Nami, she says that Indigo missed a step. Shiki blows up at his doctor before realizing Nami was screwing with him.
- During the flashback, Shiki's arrival is heralded by Soundbite somehow playing the same song, making Shiki dance on reflex and is joined by both Franky and Muscle Point!Chopper to boot.
- The crew demonstrates a Stock Phrase that's way worn out its welcome:Vivi: Ah, moving on, could we address the Elephant in the Room?
Everyone else: Hello, Funkfreed. - Lucky Roo telling Rockstar part of the reason why Shanks act the way he does, i.e. a laid-back drunkard despite being one of the Four Emperors.Shanks: Every second someone like me is the worst nightmare of the World Government, the Elder Bastards die a little bit more inside.
- Tsuru calls the SBS to warn the Straw Hats and the world about Shiki's return and threat, only to realize that he’s already aboard the Sunny and is listening to the call.Shiki: Guilty as charged, Wrinkles~
- After Shiki leaves Billy in Nami and Perona's care to appease them, Nami asks if he knows a good way out of here. Billy, being an animal, doesn't answer.Nami: ...God help me, I'm a grown woman who talks to animals and expects them to talk back.
- A lot of the instances when Sanji, Usopp, Conis, Su and Mikey are skydiving to the bottom-most island in the archipelago.
- Bereft of other options, Conis has Sanji carry her and Su down and makes the threat that if Sanji tries anything, Su will make him look like his wanted poster.
- Mikey is all set up for a spectacular, amazing swan-dive off the end... and then Sanji just impatiently kicks him off.
- The dugong manages to regain control and poise for his dive... and then he runs face-first into an agonizing wall of bad smell which causes him to Face Plant into the lake below.
- Su is initially her aloof self at not smelling the smell, and then it hits her too.
- The reunion between the ex-Baroque Works agents in Merveille. To put in context, 5 and Valentine attempted to assert their seniority in Baroque Works in front of Vivi (who stills holds a grudge), only for the Alabastan to reassert her royal authority and Robin playing along saying she’s their superior by lightly choking them. Valentine tries to ask Bartolomeo for help, only for the Supernova to brush her off saying they brought it on themselves.
- Brook asks the waitress Ever to see her panties and she responds by kicking his head, as canon in the movie. Only this time, it removed the basket he was currently wearing and revealed to everyone he’s a living skeleton. The sight was enough to make Miss Goldenweek completely lose her usual cool.
- Brook's reaction to seeing his reflection (after wondering why the Barto Club seems freaked out at his appearance):Brook: Oh, it's terrible, just terrible! I'm starting to go yellow around my orbital sockets! Now how will I get all the hot young skeletons to love me?!
- And Bartolomeo is completely nonchalant at this. When his crew asks why he isn't freaking out, he deadpan-ly draws the words "Devil Fruit" with his barriers.
- Brook's reaction to seeing his reflection (after wondering why the Barto Club seems freaked out at his appearance):
- Indigo returning to the pool where Nami, Perona, and Billy were kept, only to find them gone and three giant Special Hollow bombs that immediately explode in his face.
- Perona discovers her graffiti-marked body once she returns to the Sunny and swear she will have her revenge. Cue Raphey hiding in the ship's aquarium.Raphey: Don't let her get me, I don't wanna be a sea cucumbe-e-er...
- Through the use of Behavioral Conditioning applying her Negative and Positive Hollows, Perona makes a Serial Bernard monster loyal to her with Lassoo absolutely disgusted over how she used said conditioning on his lesser-intelligent canine brethren.
- Upon learning that Shiki is using his Snail Transceiver to transmit the Straw Hats' plight on Strong World to everyone in the world, Cross is enraged that Shiki's broadcast is getting more attention than the SBS.
- The Straw Hat crew's first strike on the Golden Lion assemblage is awesome to read... even if Merry and Brook's taunting ruins the mood a little.
- Bartolomeo running Indigo and Scarlet over with a Train-shaped barrier.
- During the final battle, 5 & Valentine attempt to settle the score with Cross during the fight against Shiki's 50 subordinates. Cross, however, is not in the best of moods and threatens them to not even try it. The two ex-Baroque Works agents merely walk, not run, away from him immediately.
- After successfully fending off two separate attacks with some tricks-turned-lethal-attacks, Usopp takes the time to whip out a Vision Dial and take a selfie.
- Left with nothing they can do except watch the fight, Garp, Helmeppo, and Coby cheer on the Straw Hats with giant foam hands that read "East Blue #1".
- Sengoku groans as the three begin cheering like cheerleaders - and then at the image of Garp in a cheerleading outfit.
- After saving the poisoned Nami and Perona from a mutant deer, Chopper idly notes that it closely resembled his birth father and that he may have taken more pleasure from killing it than was healthy.
- Sengoku tells Garp about the deciding factor to make Perona the new Warlord: Gender Equality.
- As the Straw Hat Pirates and Barto Club are sailing together towards Sabaody once Strong World is behind them, there are a few moments of comedy between them:
- While Nami is trying to convince Billy to stay with the Straw Hats, a passing Sanji adds in it would be great to have more emergency food supplies. He and the bag of supplies he's carrying end up getting fried by a bolt of lightning.
- Merry grows attached to her new cannon and wishes it to be her trademark weapon, only for Nami to stop her after asking how much the specialized ammo for it would cost. Cue an irate Nami chasing after the shipgirl upon learning just how expensive it is.
- Of note is Merry trying to defuse Nami with Puppy-Dog Eyes - only to be conked on the head for her trouble.
- Cross sets up a betting pool among the Barto mooks on not just testing Luffy's Big Eater status but also his capacity in identifying different meat dishes just by taste. And even to Cross's surprise, Luffy pulls it off.
- Cross also taunts Sanji saying Valentine is the BC's cook and gets a kick in the head for his trouble. Cross merely laughs it off saying he's glad to be among his crew like this again.
- After the heartfelt talk between Robin and Vivi regarding the latter's new responsibilities on being a Logia, Robin comments on Vivi now being an actual airhead, and the Princess gives Robin an aerokinetic Wedgie in retaliation. Robin, however, has the last laugh when she asks Vivi for her homework. Cue a swift retreat.
- Merry asking Miss Goldenweek to emotionally castrate the Cannibal (the BC's ship) as she apparently has certain amorous feelings towards the Sunny. Unfortunately, she didn't fully negotiate the time-based billing system given by the Lazy Bum of an artist before agreeing to it. Her reaction is very audible.
- Cross gives 5 & Valentine a peace offering over his earlier threat and to make amends over what he did to them during the Alabasta Saga. The two respond by giving him a punch in the gut each before forgiving him.
- Valentine, however, isn’t satisfied and wants to know Cross's secret behind his knowledge. Instead he gives her a history lecture that ends with a (somewhat incorrect, given he hasn't studied history in years) synopsis of The American Civil War.
- With the battle finally over, Bartolomeo can't hold it in any longer and finally goes off on his biggest fanboy rant ever over how he was able to fight alongside his idols, only to be silenced by the foghorn button.Bartolomeo: I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THE STRAW HAT PIRATES!
(BWAAAAAAAH!)
Bartolomeo: ...except for that stupid horn.
- Perona's choice for her New World Masons Code Name? Puppy.
- At the start of the arc, a look in at G8 showed Isaiah missing. At the end, he reappears having flown clear from Navarone to Merveille, perching on one of the newly-tamed beasts, and then makes his declaration of "I'm on another horse" audible during a meeting of the New World Masons. Cross is the only one not laughing.
Specials
Christmas Special (Between Drum Island and Alabasta)
- Soundbite making good on his side-role as Zoro's Sea-King alarm clock.
- The snowball fight between the Dumbass Trio.
- And the rest doing their best to get out of it. Carue almost doesn't.Carue: WET ME IN YOU MOWONS, BEFOW THEY FWEEZE ME FUCKIN' SOWID!
- And the rest doing their best to get out of it. Carue almost doesn't.
- A look at Christmas around the world:
- Rika still doesn't get the idea of savory onigiri with salt - her Christmas onigiri for the Marine base has cinnamon and sugar.
- Gaimon, his island of animals, and his special coconut eggnog.
- Carrot, Pepper and Onion's caroling, as well as Merry's opinion of it.Merry: It was a little bit off key, in my opinion!
Kaya: Oh, don't listen to that old goat. In my opinion, I think he might be going a little deaf in one ear, if you know what I mean.
Merry: I Heard That! - Patty messing up the Christmas pudding because it was Sanji's job to stir it.
- And Johnny and Yosaku coming to the Baratie flush with cash... because a Billion beris fell out of the sky on their heads.
- Nojiko showing that her sister's Money Fetish has rubbed off on her.
- Smoker's crew putting mistletoe all over the ship (probably because of their sole female Chief Petty Officer), up until Smoker threatens to shove them all in the ship's sole prison cell.
- Miss Goldenweek enjoying Christmas tea with Dorry and Broggy... and forcing the Mr. 5 pair to enjoy it with them.
- Wiper binds and gags Aisa and uses her as the replacement for their broken Christmas Star. What did she do to earn this? Sneaking out to Upper Yard to gather Vearth, accepting a gift of roasted almonds from the Skypiean Conis rather than fighting to the death as a Shandoran should, and using her Mantra to figure out where they were hiding the Christmas presents. That last one is what makes Laki think the punishment is appropriate.
- And none of that stops Wiper from enjoying the almonds himself.
- Foxy using his powers to freeze several bags of cocoa powder that Hamburg chucks at him. Too bad he's still standing in the same place when the effect wears off.
- Water 7:
- Paulie getting swindled by Zambai about a Yagara Bull race. Lucci lampshades it.Lucci (via Hattori): You had no idea... that Zambai... of the Franky Family... was lying to you.
- Franky being the one to distribute the presents this year, with a Yagara-pulled cart that actually drives on the rooftops. Much to Iceburg's concern.Franky: HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL! I REALIZE THAT I'M ALWAYS IN THE MOOD FOR THE HOLIDAYS, BUT THIS YEAR, I'M FEELIN' EVEN JOLLY-AH!
Iceburg: That one was weak, Franky! And either get that sleigh of yours to actually fly or drive it on the streets! Next year, you'll be the one paying for retiling almost a hundred rooftops!
Franky: CRAM IT UP YOUR STOCKING, ICE-FOR-BRAINS! - CP9 sharing a little In-Joke, when Blueno, as a Christmas present, gives Lucci a bag of catnip. A Spit Take and Corpsing from Kaku and Kalifa ensues, and Hattori doesn't even try to hold it in.
- Paulie getting swindled by Zambai about a Yagara Bull race. Lucci lampshades it.
- Perona "encouraging" Absalom and Hogback to wear her Christmas sweaters.
- Ace having a Drinking Contest with Whitebeard... only for his narcolepsy to kick in.
- Shanks sending Christmas gifts to his fellow superpowers: wine for Mihawk, sake for Kaidou, rum for Whitebeard, soda for Big Mom, whiskey for Garp... and nitroglycerine for the Five Elder Stars.Shanks: Well, it's not Christmas without a good gag-gift, is it?
(Rayleigh makes to say something)
Shanks: For the last time, Old Man, I'm 100% positive that I'm not a D!
Rayleigh: Psh. Could have fooled me. - Sabo setting up mistletoe where he knows Koala will pass. Unfortunately, Koala catches him. Let's just say that Fishman Karate practitioners are very good at giving black eyes.
1000th Review Special (Between Alabasta and Jaya)
- Luffy giving enough of a Jump Scare to Cross to startle him off the crow's nest and into the water.
- And Cross's irate pursuit of him all around the Merry.
- When Cross gets into the dining room and finds everyone waiting with a surprise party, there's only one thing that sticks in his mind: Nico Robin is wearing a party hat.
- Another of Usopp's tall tales, another of Chopper's Mad Scientist ramblings, and another of Usopp's panicked reactions that unravel the whole thing.
- And right after Cross blows out the candles on his cake, someone falls out of the air in front of them and splatters everyone. Nami only has one thing to say:Nami: Cross… I want you to know, in no uncertain terms, that there is absolutely no version of this where this isn't your fault.
- And that someone is still sleeping!
- Everyone's reactions when they realize who that someone is: Wyvern, a future version of Cross, courtesy of B.R.O.B.!
- And Cross's exasperation when his future self refuses to give any spoilers.Cross: Oh, hell no, you're River Song-ing me?! Seriously!?
- And Cross's exasperation when his future self refuses to give any spoilers.
- The interruption of the crew of idiots that is the Bleeding Heart Bounty Hunters.
- Just the entirety of their mindset. They distrust the WG, so they don't believe that Vivi had committed treason, and they're convinced that all pirates are evil, so Vivi would never work with them willingly. Ergo, they kidnapped her. Insane Troll Logic at its finest.Wyvern: Every bit the stubborn, ignorant 'all pirates are evil' stance that Nami had before she joined, while also not trusting the World Government, while also adopting their 'tar them with the same brush' attitude. The Doublethink is actually kind of impressive.
- And their signature weapon fits in perfectly with the Rule of Cool world of One Piece: a cannon that Human Cannonballs their crew onto the enemy ship!
- Fully convinced that Princess Vivi had been kidnapped and brainwashed, the kindly air that the bounty hunters give off towards Vivi is somewhat creepily amusing.
- And even after Vivi makes it clear she's here of her own free will, the bounty hunters are still fully convinced she's been brainwashed, especially when she sees their apparent leader, a big guy who acts like a kid playing Knight in Shining Armor. His sheer exuberance and idiocy hits Vivi's last nerve, and she proceeds to leap on him and try to tear his face off with her bare hands. Everyone else is extremely bemused.Usopp: Uh… shouldn't we do something?
Carue: When Vivi gets wike 'dat? Fat chance! Da wast time she got wike dis, da ashashin wath in twaction fo' weeks!- Robin offers to go get a snack while they watch.
- The Kung Fu Dugongs talk about how a novice is a true danger to a master, which leads Raphey to bring up someone named April, who Boss describes as neither having skill nor a desire to learn. And whoever she is in this universe, she isn't a Dugong.
- And after Vivi is finished making their leader eat decking (with Sanji's help), she realized what she just did.Vivi: Uh, how much did you guys see?
Soundbite: ENOUGH TO BE TERRIFIED, yet still know we have blackmail MATERIAL!
Luffy: That was really cool!
Vivi: Kill me…
- Just the entirety of their mindset. They distrust the WG, so they don't believe that Vivi had committed treason, and they're convinced that all pirates are evil, so Vivi would never work with them willingly. Ergo, they kidnapped her. Insane Troll Logic at its finest.
- After Wyvern disappears back to his own time, Mikey asks if they'll ever see him again. Everyone, even Luffy, gives him a Blank Stare, and no less than four Dope Slaps.
Omatsuri Island
In the story's mother of all Nightmare Fuel events, there are still a handful of amusing events, though YMMV on whether they only make things worse.- This exchange between Cross and DJ Gappa:
- Admiral Akainu does not have a good day, being the victim of Garp and Sengoku several times. Once is when he almost starts an argument with Sengoku about whether goats are a viable choice for pets. One invocation of Conqueror's Haki and Akainu just whispers, "...withdrawn."
- With the revelation of the Lily Carnation's true nature all sound in Sengoku's office dies. Then-
- Crocodile and Magellan are drinking in Impel Down and running a commentary on the events as they occur.
- The real kicker is when Chapter 36 reveals why the Straw Hats never reference the events of the special again: They all collectively agreed that it was just a bad nightmare they had. This is despite the fact that Kokoro's frustrated questioning means it was very real.
The Awe-Inspiring Kan-Colle Affair
- Even before the madness could begin, the opening blurb is a rule as though it was written by the game's Admiral.Rule 1183: Under no circumstances are unknown shipgirls flying the skull and crossbones to be brought to base. It’s not worth it.
- Nagato is in her full "Nagamon" form when near Merry, complete with And Call Him "George", I'm Taking Her Home with Me! and Marshmallow Hell galore. Then there's her reactions to Hoppo-chan.
- Merry fiercely rejects staying at the Marine base... until she’s bribed with cookies by Ooyodo. In the meantime, she settles for the Admiral's pants, much to his chagrin and Ooyodo's humor.
- Everything Merry does during her stay.
- Teaching various dirty sea shanties to DesDiv6. The Admiral even makes it a rule forbidding teaching destroyers such songs.
- Setting up a gambling operation with DesDiv11, only to be caught attempting to cheat.
- The Admiral attempts to make it a rule to not set up such operations without inviting him, only to think twice and include an addendum to not make such operations at all.
- Setting up two bootleg distilleries with DesFlot24 and DesDiv24 (one on purpose which makes rum and other she rejected which makes sake). The Admiral sets up yet another rule to get rid of the stills.
- When the Straw Hats finally arrive, they try to fake being part of their world's Marines, only to get caught when a female (likely Vivi) talks about the ruse as Cross is transmitting.
- Before Nagato could attack the Straw Hats, Merry immediately latches onto her face, face-hugger style, and wails on her.
- Yamato's Humiliation Conga. Her turret gets held in place by Franky grabbing it tightly in his hand causing her to misfire, next Conis sends her reeling with a bazooka shot, Chopper then forces a chemical down her throat that causes her to vomit, and finally Cross has Soundbite use Gastro-Blast which finally sends her down for the count.
- Afterwards, Cross notices Imuya and Goya staring at them out of the water. He and Soundbite grin at them, causing the two subs to retreat in fear. Apparently, the Straw Hats encountered Kitakami and Iku prior to their arrival and utterly curbstomped them to the horror of the rest of the sub fleet. Cross ends up using Lassoo to defeat them easily as they run.
- Nagato is finally defeated... by Merry pulling a cute innocent routine at her, which causes "Nagamon" to give the mother of all nosebleeds before passing out from euphoria.
- An unlucky Re-class attempted to attack the Straw Hats as they made their way out. Note the word attempted. She later shows up pleading to the Admiral to be allowed to stay, soon joined by Hoppo-chan and Nagato also pleading for her to stay.
- The Admiral himself is reeling from all the damage reports left by both Merry's stay and the Straw Hats' attack. The last straw is a final personal message courtesy of B.R.O.B..Wait until she comes back for a playdate when she's all grown up! -B.R.O.B.
- The Admiral proposing marriage to Ooyodo after the message, only for Kongou to grab him and take him for her own from a vent. This causes Ooyodo to finally crack and invite Nagato and the Abyssals for a drink.
Skelter Bite: A Typical Day
Set on the former hell Thriller Bark.- When woken, Lola falls out of bed, face first.
- Vice Admiral Jonathan, of all people, suggested Lola wear rabbit ears around the Island. Which she does.
- Paulie, upon seeing the ears, immediately legs it.
- Lola has a butler who makes excellent food but awful coffee, which she feeds to her plant. Hilariously, the plant seems to be thriving.
- The various uses of Oars's bones, from the Humorous Humerus Comedy Clubs to a skull headquarters.
The This Bites! Halloween Holiday Not-So-Horrorshow!
- A Crossover between This Bites! (ie One Piece) and The Nightmare Before Christmas. What isn't funny about that?
- The opening is an introduction straight out of The Twilight Zone which turns out to be Robin in a suit and tie until Cross dope-slaps her for Tempting Fate and to stop using Soundbite to listen to the radio adaptation of the show. The trolling snail mentions that he was just about to introduce her to Welcome to Night Vale.
- B.R.O.B.'s little trick/treat upon the Straw Hats and their New World Mason allies upon arriving in Halloween Town: Having them all Becoming the Costume during their stay. The first seen upon waking up? Robin has become Deliberately Monochrome due to her Rod Serling-style outfit, Cross is turned into a real zombie and Soundbite is now mobile as a snail/spider hybrid.
- The various hijinx the TB!Straw Hats and the Masons have in Halloween Town. These include:
- When Soundbite decides to use his new form to mess with Cross, namely by crawling right onto his face. Cross's perfectly rational response is to rip his own head off and toss it as far away as possible in a blind panic.
- Upon being told about where they are and the fact that Cross is basically undead now, Tashigi finally has an opportunity to let out all her pent-up frustration at him, starting with driving Shigure through his skull and that's just the beginning.
- Nami has become a version of Tiamat with all 5 heads representing a facet of her personality; Especifically her Uncontrollable Rage, her reason, her Money Fetish, her navigational knowledge and her weather knowledge. She currently set up a Dragon Hoard in Town Hall with the Mayor in a dither over her hoarding.
- Hina is dressed as Maleficent (and still keeping her tic of referring to herself only as the sorceress for now) and trying to be the voice of reason with the Tiamat!Nami and the Mayor.
- Rob Lucci (as a vampire), Hattori (as a bat), and Kalifa (as a mermaid) hanging out with the Four Vampire Brothers. As the quartet extol about drinking blood from the worst dregs of society, Hattori notes a flask and wonders whose blood it is. The youngest Brother says it's full of maple syrup, claiming blood is blood even if it doesn't come from humans. The Jormungandr trio is left speechless.
- Robin hands Tashigi some keys with the notion she could use them to turn Cross into roadkill. The ditzy swordswoman grabs them enthusiastically only to realize later that Robin is Cross's "sister" after all and she just got punked.
- Dr. Finkelstein sets up a scene straight out of Frankenstein with Merry (as a cyborg) & Usopp (as a hockey-masked, hook-handed killer) as his assistants (even though the sniper's hockey mask is attached to his face and the aforementioned Hook Hand) and Franky as "the Monster".
- Bonus points for the Mad Scientist claiming that he wants to examine Franky's body and says that due to the lack of actually live subjects, his anesthetics have long since expired. To remedy this, Finkelstein actually set up a ceramic hand on a spring to come down from the lab's ceiling and gives Franky a double dope-slap behind the head that knocks him out.
- The Ex-Baroque Works agents alongside Vivi are having a tea party using the Two Witches' potions as beverages, causing the formers to turn into a variety of animals, while the latter remains furious, not due to the potions but because she wanted to dress up as one of the Alabastan pantheon deities and B.R.O.B. chose Sobek, making her into a literal Crocodile, bringing bad memories of the ex-Warlord and traitor. The witches propose giving her potions to change her appearance but each one just turns her into a different reptile, ending up as a Not Zilla for her troubles.
Canon Omakes
- Meanwhile...
- Two days after the Enies Lobby incident, Doflamingo is back in Dressrosa after dealing with two of the four Emperors, heading back to his throne room while Trebol and Diamante try to head him off. Doflamingo knows perfectly well that the Straw Hats' antics at Enies had led to them throwing a party while he was away, but he is too exhausted and entertained to get mad... until he sees that the party guests included the Red-Haired pirates.
- Doflamingo's reaction also sells it: he has to close and open the doors twice to be sure he’s seeing what he’s seeing.
- Remember when the WG said that Shanks was on a "rampage"? Turns out it's just their term for a Red-Haired pirate party.
- A few minutes into the exchange, Pica appears to tell Trebol and Diamante he's finished fixing the city... right behind Doflamingo's back.
- And just as we think Doflamingo can't get any more pissed, Vergo, who's supposed to be elsewhere and undercover, walks in. One Death Glare from his boss later and he's walking right out.
- The Battle of Kinpaku Island
- Tashigi trying to convince Hina to produce some metal cages to melt down to deal with their metal expenses, while Hina is refusing on the grounds that she isn't meant to be a human steel quarry.
- Warm Front:
- Lil sitting on a chandelier, licking a lollipop and watching her papa rage around his reduced collection.
- How did she get up there in the first place? By bribing the Fierce Penguins with the location of Don Accino's sake stash, she got them to throw her up there!
- The kicker? Despite how apathetic she is usually, she's still a kid, and thus, scared of heights.
- A look at the Giant Squad of the Marines, fully named for the occasion. Especially considering how bored they all are from their blockade of Alabasta.
- Vercingetorix (Vin for short) is a little sensitive about his name's length. Maginot ribbing him about it and whether he's Compensating for Something doesn't help matters.
- De Lis, the squad's sole female member, fulfilling every One Piece female's role as the Only Sane Woman and dealing Megaton Punches to keep everyone else in line.
- After the Accinos bluff their way past the Giant Squad on the grounds of entering Alabasta to capture Chaka and Pell for their bounties, with permission from the Marine higher-ups, it takes the Giants two whole days before they even entertain the idea that they'd been duped.
- And when De Lis calls HQ for confirmation, she gets Garp saying that the Accinos never did make any requests.Garp: Why, did they trick you into letting them into Alabasta or something?
De Lis: (Eye Twitch) Um... well...
(Beat)
Garp: ...You did, didn’t you. - And considering what Garp recently did himself on the SBS, De Lis isn't amused in the least.De Lis: I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT FROM YOU, MR. I-REVEALED-THAT-THE-REVOLUTIONARY-HAD-A-SON-WHO’S-THE-STRONGEST-ROOKIE-ON-THE-SEAS!
- Lacroix realizes that this will make everyone in command much warier of them, so he figures they might as well mutiny and joing the Giant Pirates.Maginot: So, then, who’s going to issue the declaration of mutiny?
Everyone (Vercingetorix a little slower): ... Not it!
Vercingetorix: Shit.
- And when De Lis calls HQ for confirmation, she gets Garp saying that the Accinos never did make any requests.
- Lil sitting on a chandelier, licking a lollipop and watching her papa rage around his reduced collection.
