- David Letterman regarding Sarah Palin going on The Oprah Winfrey Show to plug her memoir:
"It'll be great, there'll be a woman who is qualified to be President... and Sarah Palin will be there too."
- Firefly had Simon and Kaylee in a room observing an "alien" (actually a mutated cow fetus) in a jar as part of a sideshow. When Kaylee storms off, Wash enters and remarks "Oh my God, it's grotesque! Oh, and there's something in a jar."
- Jon Stewart on The Daily Show loves this trope:
- During the ANCHOR WAR! between Stewart and Mad Money host Jim Cramer:
- At one point, he tried to help Republicans come up with some better zingers:
What's the difference between President Obama
and the New York Times? One's black and white and full of lies, and the other's a publication I've never read.
- Talking about the Tea Party Republican debate airing on CNN:
Jon Stewart: A fringe, often derided, incompetent bunch of yahoos was finally granted legitimacy by pairing with the Tea Party.
- Talking about a fundraiser with George Clooney and Barack Obama:
Jon Stewart: The most powerful man in the free world, having Barack Obama over to his house for a fundraiser.
Jon Stewart: The most influential person in America, and Barack Obama in THE SAME ROOM!
- Imagining a confrontation between notorious drug kingpin Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman and Speaker of the House John Boehner:
Jon Stewart: "Well, pleased to meet you, I'm the head of one of the notorious, corrupt, and vile institutions in all of North America." ... "Oh, well, it's nice to meet you too, I'm El Chapo."
- Craig Ferguson of The Late Late Show loves this trope, and uses it at least once a week (usually more, actually) in his monologues. He lampshaded this himself on the September 7th, 2009 show. He also does a variant in the beginning of most of his monologues as he's "welcoming" the viewers:
Craig: Welcome, welcome. Sit back, let down your long, luscious blond locks... You too, ladies!
- "James Cameron, who directed Avatar, is in a feud with Glenn Beck, because Cameron called him a madman. The two are very different. One makes millions creating fictional stories, and the other is James Cameron."
- Conan O'Brien also makes frequent use of this trope:
Conan: Well, Paris Hilton is visiting Venice this week. The crumbling, polluted system of canals that has been used by everyone... is visiting Venice.
- He also pulled a rare lighthearted variant when it was revealed that Barack Obama and Oprah Winfrey would meet, cracking that the most influential and most powerful black person in the world was going to meet Barack Obama.
- Bill Maher is another who enjoys making use of this trope.
Bill: Not that I'm comparing Dick Cheney to the Geico lizard. One's a scaly, cold-blooded reptile, and the other is the Geico lizard.
- Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles has an exchange where Derek asks John why the two women (Cameron and Sarah) were sent into a dangerous situation instead of the men. John responds, "...and one of the girls is harder than nuclear nails." Derek adds, "...and the other is a cyborg."
- In Knightmare, Cedric, a monk, is trading insults with Folly, a jester, and his final one is:
Cedric: When the joker is no longer funny, when his jokes can't earn him any money, when wit deserts the stupid clod— I'll send HIM here, to do YOUR job!
- In Spaced:
Duane: You know what they say about love and war.
Tim: Yes, one involves a lot of physical and psychological pain, and the other one's war.
- Will and Grace, concerning Karen and Jack dog-sitting:
I feel good about this, leaving our puppy with Cruella De Vil
... and Karen.
- Wings: Helen, regarding Roy's Russian mail order bride.
Helen: Could you imagine your only two choices in life being Roy and Siberia? One is cold, vast, and depressing, and the other is way the hell in Russia.
- In another episode, several of the group have tried out for a local play, and Antonio is telling the others what their roles will be.
- On 50 to 01: Greatest Movie Quotes, Bert Newton introduces the line "At my signal, unleash Hell," by saying "Russell Crowe is a violent barbarian looking for a fight. Also, he's in Gladiator."
- The American version of Whose Line Is It Anyway? has a variation that's become a running gag. Example, taken from a Weird Newscasters game:
Drew: Wayne, you're a Jamaican love god.
Wayne: I know that. What's my actual role?
Greg: But I need a character!
- From Friends, Chandler is afraid he will end up like his parents:
Chandler: ...I could grow up to be a middle-aged divorcee chasing around twenty-year old boys... or I could become my mom.
- From the opening monologue of the 2010 Academy Awards:
Over here, we have the Inglourious Basterds
section. Alec Baldwin:
And over here, we have the people who made the movie.
- During the goldfish-memory test on Mythbusters:
Narrator: So the guys want to train goldfish to swim through a maze! If they do it, they'll prove they're smarter than we think. The goldfish will look clever, too!
- A variation from the Doctor Who episode "The Doctor Dances", when Captain Jack Harkness first enters the TARDIS:
- And done the usual way in the 2010 Christmas special:
Amy Pond, to the Doctor standing next to a snowman he made: You know, that could almost be mistaken for a real person... snowman isn't bad, either.
- Part of the description for series 6, part 2:
Venturing across centuries and galaxies, the Doctor, Amy, and Rory will encounter the greatest war criminal in all of history - and Hitler
- In the God Complex, the Minotaur's final words.
The Doctor: (translating) An ancient creature, drenched in the blood of the innocent. Drifting in space through an endless shifting maze. To such a creature, death would be a gift.
The Doctor: Then accept it.
- Another serious example from "A Good Man Goes to War":
The Doctor: (at the end of a rage-filled speech) Look, I'm angry. That's new. I'm really not sure what's going to happen now.
The Doctor: Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many.
Amy: "He's the last of his kind. He looks young, but he's lived for hundreds and hundreds of years. And wherever they take you, Melody, however scared you are, I promise you you will never be alone. Because this man is your father. He has a name, but the people of our world know him better...as the Last Centurion."
Robin: Why is it so hard to credit? That a man born into wealth and privilege should find the plight of the oppressed and weak too much to bear...Until one night he is moved to steal a TARDIS and fly among the stars fighting the good fight.
- During a "Things A Rugby Commentator Would Never Say" round of Mock the Week
Hugh Dennis: And it's England vs. Samoa. A team of rank amateurs, against Samoa.
- In That '70s Show when Jackie's father tells her that if she doesn't break up with Kelso, he will cut her allowance:
Jackie: (to Kelso) How do I choose between something that makes my whole life complete... and you?
- For the record, she chooses him.
- Incredibly common on Have I Got News for You, though how funny it is can vary with how well the guest presenter actually reads it. It's such a mainstay that the audience will often see it coming before the presenter gets to the punchline.
- The reaction of the bullies in Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide to having to play dodgeball against Ned and Moze: "One of them's a girl!" "And one of them's Mosely!"
- On The King of Queens, the trope is lampshaded often in the episode "Awed Couple";
To Us! Not the magazine, but that too!
To Pedophiles! Not the blog, but that too!
- From Saturday Night Live:
Earlier this week, it was announced that Elton John
would be performing a duet with Eminem
at the Grammies. When asked about performing with the obviously gay musician, Elton John said he didn't have a problem with it.
Oh, look, it's the newlyweds [JD and Turk
]. And, hey, Carla [Turk's wife].
- A M*A*S*H episode opens with Hawkeye narrating a letter to his dad:
Hawkeye: Korea's pretty much the same story. The fighting goes on. The hatred, the violence, the senseless brutality, men behaving like animals. Then, of course, there's the war.
- Ricky Gervais on getting Robert De Niro to guest star in Extras: "It was amazing. One of the greatest actors of all time and Robert DeNiro in the same show".
- In Dog With A Blog the family is discussing what to do about Ellen's new pet parrot:
Dad: What do we do?
Stan: Don't look at me, you're the one who brought that screeching beast in here. Then you let her get a bird.
- An episode of Top Gear gives us this narration that quips, as always, on Hammond's height, during a challenge where they have to load large items into vans they have bought:
Jeremy Clarkson: Richard did have a size problem, and his van was pretty small as well.
- Subverted on Gadget Man;
- Married... with Children: In the end of two-part episode "Requiem For a Chevyweight", Al told his Dodge he "never loved that flashy red hussy. Or the new car either".
- A variant from Shaun Micallefs Mad As Hell: Shaun brings up a report stating that Tony Abbott has been speaking 100 words a minute slower than before the last election, and comparing his speech to that of a puppet.
Shaun: Is our nation's leader really like a slow talking marionette? Let's have a comparison.
- Elementary: After returning from a trip, Watson asks about Sherlock Holmes' pet tortoise, Clyde:
Watson: Did he behave himself when I was gone?
Kitty: That depends. Are you talking about the frowny one with the hard shell, or do you mean Clyde?
Watson: Take your pick.