"You can't kick me because your brain is stupid!"
There are Ad Hominem
insults. There are Lame Comebacks
. And then there are these — insults so trite and meaningless that one may as well have called the other person a "Big Stupid Doodoo Head". Young children will resort to using these because they either don't know any better, or have run out of things to say. When an adult
uses these, however, it's a good sign that they either don't have any real substance to back up their argument or they are quite childish
Sometimes Played for Laughs
when it induces Felony Misdemeanor
. Often involves Buffy Speak
See also No, You
, really the only appropriate comeback to such an insult.
Uses in Fiction:
Anime and Manga
- Lenore the Cute Little Dead Girl gave us this, uh, pretty fucking colorful example...
Lenore: You stoopid, stoopid li'l man! Li'l puffy rat-midget cotton-tushed cootie infested freak of nature-poo poo headed monstrosity of the 7th layer of heck-pee pee breathed-dookie eating-pig lov'n-crab like-bow legged-creepy ass-bulbous headed-smaller than a bread box-hollow brained-gopher lick'n-intestine shaped-bacon wrapped-no soap using-squid slurping-botchilism growing-crotch scratching-one balled-accidentally birthed-filth spreading-juice producing-greasy palmed-fart leaking-ball of crap shaped like a li'l man!
- Runaways: Molly, the youngest member of the group, talks like this when she's first captured by Geoffrey Wilder (from the past). After he tells her to drop the act, she coldly tells him " Your son took after you, you know. He was a total freakin' failure". And after he shoots one of the others, Molly has some considerably harsher sentiments.
Film - Animation
- My Immortal has Professor McGonagall yelling, "STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" after Ebony and Vampire "jump on each other and start screwing each other." while a class is in session.
- Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series: the Pharaoh's best retort to Yugi's insults is something along the lines of "Yeah, well, you're really small. Look at you down there! You're like Smally McSmall. *beat* That's your name."
Film - Live Action
- In Lilo & Stitch, Nani is almost hit by a car as she rushes back home and shouts at the driver, "Watch where you're going, stupidhead!" It comes back to bite her when said "stupidhead" turns out to be the social worker assigned to her. This is later used by Stitch against Gantu—as a sign of Character Development, no less, since such an insult is Lighter and Softer compared to his untranslated alien insults from the start of the movie that the Councilwoman finds so repulsive.
- In Wrongfully Accused, Ryan Harrison gets into a shouting match with a guard on a prison bus that ultimately ends with a series of these types of insults.
Ryan: How dare you 'how dare me' when I how dare you, you big pee-pee head!
Guard: You're the pee-pee head!
Ryan: Mr. Booger Lips! Ca-ca mouth!
- Same with Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun. Leslie Nielsen's dry, dramatic delivery made these sort of insults especially funny, it turns out.
Drebin: Oh, it's alright, I'm sure that we can handle this maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr. Poopy-Pants?
- Annie in Misery (book as well as film) typically uses insults of this nature. But when she doesn't..
- In Kindergarten Cop, a kid named Zach is picked on by the other kids for being a quiet loner, calling him things like poo-poo head, poo-poo face and ca-ca poo-poo.
- In Hook, Rufio falls prey to the "running out of things to say" variation when, after a long and creative volleying insult battle with Peter, he loses his composure and resorts to "You man! You stupid, stupid MAN!"
- The aliens in Plan 9 from Outer Space try to reason with us Earth people by calling us "Stupid minds! Stupid, stupid!". That'll teach us!
- Stuart Smalley in Stuart Saves His Family makes soft insults at Roz. The worst, which he acts was a Cluster F-Bomb, was caller her a "vagina".
- In the first Survivors book, Lucky tries to distract the Fierce Dogs from his friends by insulting them. His two attempts are "Hey, stupid!" and "Mad dogs, sad dogs, stupid crazy bad dogs!" This doesn't work, and they only go after him after he starts insulting their mothers.
- In an episode of Happy Endings, Jane and Max are fighting over a sweater which both claim to be theirs. Max maintains they are not going to do one of their dumb competitions-before running away with the sweater. Jane chases and tackles him, shouting "Get back here, you gay!" Max's response is "'You gay'? That's the best you could come up with?"
- Will and Grace: when Ellen finds out that Grace once slept with her fiance Rob, she decides she has to sleep with Will to balance it out, despite his protests. When he tells her to stop and look at what she's doing, she flings herself on his bed in despair and declares herself to be a "dumb, stupid idiothead."
- On Mystery Science Theater 3000 Bobo tends to insult people this way. Take, for example, this moment from Show 813 - Jack Frost:
Bobo (trying and failing to read a letter): It says you're a dodo-head.
Observer: I'm the dodo-head? Why, of all the unmitigated gall! You're the dodo-head!
- Peep Show: Mark, trying to get out of marrying Sophie, resolves to go over to someone and insult them, but can only think of saying "jizz-cock", which he laments is like calling someone a "piss-kidney" as a properly working cock would jizz. He nevertheless does it, and berates himself for not going with "arsehole" after the person he confronts calls him that.
- Sheldon of The Big Bang Theory resorts to these kinds of insults when he doesn't have time to think of a good comeback, and will actually apologize for his "language" to whoever is there with him.
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to do work which promises significant results. As opposed to what you do, which... does not. Yeah, you heard me!"
- Colin Mochrie of Whose Line Is It Anyway?, when at his sweariest.
- In The IT Crowd, after Jen screws up as a lifeline in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire??, Moss says to her "Who wants to be a person who is wrong!"
- In another episode, Moss is trying to come up with something profane to say to curse out people he is mad at, and finally just says "Ploppers!" (meaning a turd that makes a plop sound).
- In the Parks and Recreation episode "London", Leslie gets frustrated at the numerous efforts to recall her, and publicly refers to the people of Pawnee as "peepee heads".
- On 30 Rock Jenna is angry at Liz because Jack wants her to hire an additional actor for the show. Liz tells Jenna that they can sit down and talk about the issue like adults. Enter Tracy.
"Liz Lemon, you booger face! I'm gonna kill you with a bazooka! *throws book at Liz, hits Jenna by accident*."
- One episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit had a grown woman with disassociative identity disorder calling her lawyer "dumbo" and "butthead".
- In Buffy the Vampire Slayer, after Buffy's one-night-stand with Parker ended badly, Willow called Parker a "poop-head".
- After the Mayor delivers some pointed commentary on our Star-Crossed Lovers, Buffy and Angel gripe that he doesn't know what he's talking about, being a "big, stupid...evil guy."
- In "Superstar" a spell creates an Alternate Universe where Buffy plays The Chick to a superhero. Her snarking skills have likewise been affected.
Spike: Back off Betty.
Buffy: It's Buffy, you big bleached...stupid guy.
- How I Met Your Mother: In "The Mermaid Theory"
Lily: Well, you're a big stupid octopus face!
- "The Dumb Song" by Gawkman (better known as Psychostick guitarist Josh Key) and Murph (better known as Psychostick videographer Patrick Murphy) consists of virtually nothing but this trope.
- As Cub tells us, "Satan sucks."
- If you poke around some Christian bookstores and church thrift shops, you can find T-shirts that proudly declare your sincere, deeply-held conviction that "Satan is a poo-poo head!" Also available on bumper stickers!
- Portal 2: At a certain point in the game, Wheatley is inspired to imitate GLaDOS' snarking at Chell earlier in the game about her weight and Parental Abandonment. The best he can come up with is "Fatty fatty no-parents."
- GLaDOS is prone to juvenile insults this herself, particularly in the first game.
- A memorable exchange occurs on the Grand Theft Auto III in game radio station Chatterbox, when host Lazlow is called by a representative from a militant anti-phone organization called Citizens Raging Against Phones. When Lazlow begins to poke holes in the callers arguments (particularly, that she herself must be using a phone to call in to the station) both parties in the conversation rapidly devolves into playground insults, culminating in this:
Caller: (A woman who sounds about mid-30's) Nany nany boo-boo, stick your head in doo-doo!
- Games made by SNK in the '90s (such as The King of Fighters, Fatal Fury, and Art of Fighting) were full of this stuff due to their notorious translation. Victory quotes in particular contain some of the most ridiculous trash-talk you'll ever hear. One of Ryo's win quotes in King of Fighters '98 might just take the cake.
Ryo: Absolute karate. That's Kyokugen. And don't you forget it, dweebenheimer!
- Street Fighter Alpha 2, from Guy of all people.
M. Bison: My soldiers are skilled, but I am supreme.
Guy: Yea, a supreme fat-head!
- Most of the trash talk in Team Fortress 2 is of this calibre. With the Spy, it's doubly hilarious because he says fratboy-level insults as if he's James Bond.
- Monkey Island's Insult Swordfighting always give you the option to wittingly insult your opponent with "you're ugly!" and "you're stupid!". These insults automatically fail, with the only rebuttal being "is that the best you can come up with?".
- And then there's Gyubrush's often used insult "You big old bed-wetting doody head."
- Asura characters in Guild Wars 2 have been known to charge in to battle yelling "You're dumb! You'll die and you'll leave a dumb corpse!"
- In Way of the Samurai 4, if you fight Kotobuki at the start of the game, and then confront him again in the evening after meeting with Akagi (who leads Kotobuki's enemies, the nationalist Disciples of Prajna faction), you can choose to call him and his lackeys "stupidheads".
Kotobuki: "Stupidheads"? What are you, twelve?
- Handsome Jack of Borderlands 2, despite being a terrifyingly effective enemy, frequently calls up the Vault Hunters just to fling these sorts of insults at them.
- The Handsome Jack double in Opportunity also hurls constant, impotent insults at the player. He seems to be reading them off a script or something. "You're short and I'll kill you, Gunzerker."
- There's a memetic moment in Mass Effect 1 where Shepard can refer to a Hanar preacher as a "big stupid jellyfish".
- Generator (Jade Sinclair) of the Whateley Universe seems to have this as her signature insult, mainly with the word 'poopyhead'.
- Rainbow Dash Reads Homestuck tends to use the hashtags to deliver the opinion of the blogger on other ponies. Namely, that they are butts.
- The Epic Rap Battles of History battle between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney eventually devolves into this. Only for the trend to reverse when Abe Lincoln makes his entrance.
- In Allison Pregler's reviews of Charmed, she quotes one message board that referred to Neighbor Dan as a "greasy butt-crack poo-flap." Lupa considers this one of the greatest phrases ever invented.
- in Project Voicebend, Korra and Tarrlok trade insults like this in episode eight.
- In Family Guy, a girl told Bill Cosby that the guy who molested her had "a big stupid doodoo head".
- There's also the time Peter tried to talk to Chris's bully, Kyle. Kyle mocks him, and when he calls Peter a "poop nose", Peter beats the crap out of him.
- In The Simpsons:
- In the episode "Homer Goes to College", after an accident with a proton accelerator while at college, Homer was assigned some outside tutoring by the Dean. Homer decides to get revenge by prank calling the Dean:
(telephone rings, Dean picks up)
Homer: (in poorly-disguised voice) Hello, Dean? You're a stupid-head!
Dean: (looks out window, sees Homer at phone booth) Homer, is that you?
Homer: AAH! (flees)
- From the episode "Blame it on Lisa":
Dance Instructor: Now we are working on our most powerful dance: La Penetrada! It makes sex look like a church!
Marge: I don't think my daughter should be hearing this.
Dance Instructor: You cannot protect her forever! You stupid lady!
- Codename: Kids Next Door, considering that they're all ten years old, has the word "Dummyhead" used several times.
- From Ed, Edd n Eddy, " Stinkyhat" and "Odiferous curdcoat!"
- Spongebob Squarepants has Patrick calling a gang of bikers "little baby doody heads."
- One episode had Plankton calling his customers "doo-doo dunderheads".
- Futurama is the former Trope Namer. Leela used it as a capstone to an angry rant.
- The episode "Bots and the Bees" gives us this exchange between Bender and his son Ben:
Ben: Bend it, daddy! Bend it like it called you poo-poo face!
Bender: It called me what?!
- "The Birdbot of Ice-catraz":
Fry: Fine, I've got a toast. To Captain Bender, he's the best... at being a big jerk who's stupid and his big ugly face is as dumb as a butt!
- In a The Real Ghostbusters Halloween Special, a monster named Boogaloo is terrorizing the city. Peter tries to get its attention. "Hey, Boogaloo! You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny!". For the record, Boogaloo is about a hundred feet tall, covered in multiple faces and tentacles, and not wearing any clothing at all. Nevertheless, it works.
- Bubbles in The Powerpuff Girls episode "Bubblevicious", as she takes Mojo's ray to level 11:
Bubbles: (straining with all her reserve) I'm... not... gonna... cry... you... big... DOO-DOO BRAIN!!
- In an episode of Recess, there's a scene where two first graders are arguing. One of them calls the other a loser, causing him to call the other a "Loser-more".
- On Celebrity Deathmatch, in the fight between Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest, Seacrest can only come up with lame insults like "doodoo head" and "double doodoo head" in response to Cowell's epic burns.
- On Adventure Time, Finn and Princess Bubblegum build a Rube Goldberg Device that serves two purposes: a) to wake up the Earl of Lemongrab via marble to the head, and b) to unfurl a small scroll that reads "You Really Smell Like Dog Buns".
- In Home Movies, a background character repeatedly tells Brendon "You suck!" and that he's going to lose an upcoming fight.
Yelling guy: See you tomorrow — Loser's Day!
Brendon: I'm going home.
- Mabel Pines of Gravity Falls tends to use insults like these, such as "butt-faces" or "poop heads".
- In The Venture Bros., Molotov Cocktease, in a fantasy sequence of Hank's, calls Dr. Venture exactly this phrase, citing it as the reason he won't let Hank and Molotov be together.
- In the "Omelette Du Fromage" episode of Dexter's Laboratory, Dee Dee greets Dexter at breakfast with a cheerful "Morning, poophead!"
- On Earthworm Jim, Jim comes into possession of a book that Evil the Cat needs to destroy the universe. After multiple failed attempts to get the book, Evil disguises himself as a small child (and not a cat) who's bored and is looking for a book to read. Jim is moved to tears by his story.
Jim: Poor suffering tyke. Your piteous tale has touched my heart! My mind reels back to my own sad childhood! The horrible dank burrows! The constant hunger for decaying vegetation! And the crows! The terrible, tragic crows!!
Evil: Just give me the book, you fathead.
Your brain is stupid!