Chapter One ("Kagura, Come Get Some Ham!")
Kagura: "Wow! Even her sexy-ass boyfriend is -"
Shinpachi: "Don't you dare!"
Kagura: "Bitchin'." (Shinpachi duct tapes Kagura's mouth shut)
Shinpachi: "Never talk again!"
Gintoki: "Great, i'm going to miss the anime convention!"
Gintoki Cosplayer: "Tell me about it. I have to miss the Shinsengumi's trade show because i'm part of masquerade."
Hijikata: "Good evening, people. Shimura Tae, our resident gorilla needs you at booth #427."
Tae: "Tell him his mom needs him at booth #427."
Kagura: "Seriously, Kamui? When I got the script, Yuki-Rin told me it wasn't going to be yuri, yaoi, ecchi, lemon, lime, shounen-ai, or shoujo-ai."Chapter Two ("You Freaking Smashed my Tots!")
Ace (From outside): "I have to film that scene in a few days, and I am not excited! Why did Eichiiro Oda do this to me and not Coby? The weak, little bitch deserved that!"
Gintoki: "I thought he got stronger while in the Marines!"
Ace (From outside): "He's still weak and I hate him!"
Russia: "Ты со мной." (Translation: "You're coming with me.")
Estonia: "Somebody save me!" (Russia drags Estonia off-stage as Estonia is screaming)
Gokudera: "Should we help him? They weren't even speaking English."
Kagura: "I'm going home."