Hohenheim: Thanks to the magic of fanfiction, this van will fit us all.
Selleck Waterfall Sandwich is a fifteen-chapter musical parody of Flower Drum Song by Oxenstierna D. Yuki-Rin. In the fic, Kagura and her brother, Kamui, arrive back to Earth after a vacation on their home planet so Kagura can marry Sanji, who is already in love with Nico Robin. When Kamui discovers this affair, he sets his sister up with Hayato Gokudera, who becomes fast friends with Kagura. Unfortunately, Robin's mother, Nico Olvia, does not approve of their friendship. Things go downhill when Olvia takes a restraining order out on Gokudera and Kamui decides to abuse loopholes by possibly marrying Kagura with Okita. Hilarity Ensues.This fanfic was first published in November, 2010, shortly after Oxenstierna D. Yuki-Rin got her account. She posted the final chapter in December of that year. This fanfic contains examples of:
All for Nothing: Turns out, Umibozu got Yato traditions mixed up, which meant that Kagura didn't have to get married in the first place.
Chekhov's Gag: The Homunculi and Hohenheim's scenes in chapter one when they are giving Kagura and Kamui a ride are mirrored in the last chapter when Gintoki and the gang are trying to get to Kagura and Okita's wedding to stop it.
Concert Climax: In the penultimate chapter, Gokudera sees Kagura with Okita outside of a lounge while a concert is wrapping up. This is when Gokudera also finds out that Kagura and Okita are getting married.
Covered in Gunge: Shinpachi implies that Sanji and Robin were covered in gunge for sexual activity in chapter three.
Did You Just Have Sex?: Kamui, Gintoki, Kagura, Tae, and Shinpachi have this moment at the end of chapter one when they (think) they see Sanji and Robin getting it on. Kamui has the same moment in chapter two with, unsurprisingly, Sanji and Robin.
Don't Explain the Joke: Everytime Hohenheim says, "Thanks to the magic of fanfiction, this van will fit us all", the Homunculi think that Hohenheim is pregnant since his first name is Van.
Early-Bird Cameo: Okita works at a booth at the Shinsengumi's World's Fair-Styled Inventions and Bakery Goods Expo. He appears later as Kagura's fianceé.
Epic Fail: Kagura, Gokudera, and their friends run around town all day to buy wedding gifts for Sanji and Robin, when they realize that the last place they need to go to is Crate and Barrel. Upon realizing that their hometown doesn't have a Crate and Barrel, they take the train to another city five hours away just to shop at Crate and Barrel when they could've skipped it altogether.
Epic Rocking: Feel Good Inc, Party in the Local Park, Brooklyn Rage, Meet me Halfway, Perfect, Whereever You Will Go, Life's Gonna Suck, Love me Dead, this fic seems to be built on this trope.
Everybody Laughs Ending: At the end of the fic, after it is revealed that Kamui, not Kagura, should've been the one to get married, as the characters are leaving to go get tacos, everyone (minus Kamui, because he was drugged) is laughing.
Exposition Party: Happens in chapter seven. Sanji throws a party for no reason other than to propose to Robin.
I Have to Wash My Hair: In chapter ten, when Robin and Sanji ask Kagura and Kamui to be in their wedding, Kamui says that they (meaning Gintoki, Shinpachi, Kagura, Kamui, and Tae) have to step outside to discuss what Sanji and Robin asked them. It isn't until the five leave the building anwser the question. Their answer is a simple, "Hell no!"
"I Want" Song: Kagura's I want song is Airplanes in chapter five and Gokudera's I want song is This Fire in chapter 11.
Only Sane Man: Hibari, Ryohei, Tsuna, most of the Straw Hats, Takasugi, Sakamoto, Katsura, and most of the Supernovas barely get any lines. Subverted even further when Chrome Dokuro and Mukuro Rokudo only show up for one chapter.
Parental Neglect: Umibozu doesn't show up and stop Kagura's marriage until the last chapter. Why didn't he stop Kamui from marrying Kagura off before the siblings went back to Earth?
Parents Walk In at the Worst Time: Olvia serves cookies when Kagura, Gokudera, Sanji, and Robin visit her in chapter three. She also leaves cookies for Gokudera and Kagura in chapter six even though she is away on vacation.
It's Been Done: The scene where Kondo and Hasegawa are looking at their credit card bills is similar to a scene in The Simpsons episode "Catch 'em if You Can", where Ned and Rod Flanders are looking at their credit card bills.