All Moments pages are Spoilers Off.
For a work portraying a months-long Pranking Montage against the series' biggest Hate Sink, we'd normally just say "the entire fic", but that would be considered a ZCE on this site.
Chapter 1
- Harry has internally dubbed Umbridge's office as "The Pink Explosion Room".
- Harry's first act of trolling Umbridge is to respond to her in a sweet tone of voice and give her a winning smile to throw her off. The act of doing so brings Lockhart's visage to mind, causing Harry to shudder.
- Instead of writing lines like he's supposed to, Harry starts doodling a lion breathing stars over and over so the Blood Quill will give him a makeshift tattoo. When Umbridge flips out about it, Harry innocently comments that it's a shame Hogwarts doesn't have art classes.
Chapter 2
- Hermione is gobsmacked that Harry used his own blood to draw on his hand. She questions if he likes pain and suggests using something "fun" like sadomasochism as an outlet for that desire, only for Harry to ask her why she knows about sadomasochism in the first place (and Ron to wonder what it is).
- Hermione tells Harry to not speak with his mouth full at breakfast, as it makes him look like Ron. Fred agrees that looking like his younger brother is never a good thing; Ron, who had shoved several types of food in his mouth at the same time, verbally objects and some egg falls out of his mouth.
- Umbridge sits down next to McGonagall for breakfast. The narration notes that the latter professor suddenly "looked as if she had swallowed a lemon whole" because of it.
Chapter 3
- Umbridge gives Harry half an hour to write an essay about a given chapter of the class textbook. While writing, he notices that Umbridge has the audacity to have several boxes of his favorite brand of chocolate biscuits in her office.
- When Umbridge calls for time on the essay, Harry checks his watch and notes that she did so two minutes early.
- As Harry leaves Umbridge's office after his detention, he takes the opportunity to swipe one of the biscuit boxes on his way out and proceeds to share the desserts with his friends once he returns to the Gryffindor common room.
Chapter 4
- Hermione tells Harry that he'd better not say he's working on "yet another pea-brained scheme to get back at Umbridge." Harry responds that he won't tell her so, as the scheme isn't pea-brained.
- When discussing Umbridge's usage of Blood Quills in detentions, Lee Jordan asks why in the bloody hell they're letting her do that. Angelina Johnson interjects after the oath with a "literally".
- Harry tells the other members of Dumbledore's Army that they can use the Blood Quill and a numbing potion to give themselves cool scars/tattoos and annoy Umbridge. A few days later, Lee shows off his new scar in the shape of a flaming sword and Hermione gives him a Disapproving Look.
Chapter 5
- Harry has some fun with the fact that Umbridge never mandated what language assignments had to be written in and decides to write his Defense homework in French.
- Umbridge turns out to not know that Hogwarts is in Scotland instead of England, despite having a teaching position there. Harry presses her on her lack of knowledge, suggesting the only way Umbridge's belief could be true is if the school somehow teleported across the border, resulting in the class bursting into laughter.
- Umbridge tells Harry to write the line "I must do all assignments as instructed"; when Harry points out that the instructions never specified a language, she switches it to "I must complete all my assignments in the language of instruction."
Chapter 6
- The latest Educational Decree is an order to complete all assignments in the language lessons are taught in, confusing everyone who didn't hear about Harry writing his Defense homework in French.
Chapter 7
- Harry, Fred, George, and Lee break into Umbridge's office while she's away over the weekend to "redecorate" it. The one change that's elaborated on in this chapter is George bewitching the walls to keep turning obnoxious colors for a few weeks.
Chapter 8
- The full extent of how Umbridge's office was redecorated is revealed.
- The furniture is upside down; Harry put things intended to be on the ground on the ceiling and vice-versa.
- The decorative plates with pictures of kittens have been altered to instead have ugly toads with bows on their heads.
- The walls are actively changing colors when the room is seen.
- The drawers on the cupboard and filing cabinet keep opening and shutting, dispersing their contents around the room. When Umbridge tries to retrieve anything from them, they act like angry dogs, snapping and growling at her.
- An embarrassing photo of Umbridge falling in mud, sourced from the Creevey brothers, is on the wall, with the phrase "I must not torture children" written beneath it in red paint.
Chapter 9
- The Creevey brothers stick copies of the photo of Umbridge falling in mud to all the tables in the Great Hall. This leads to further absurdity:
- When Umbridge asks what they are, Dumbledore calmly tells her they appear to be photos of herself.
- Umbridge's attempt to remove the photos with magic results in them rapidly duplicating and flying towards her.
- Umbridge asks where the photos came from, wondering who put them there. Ginny quietly snarks that the photos came from a camera.
Chapter 10
- Umbridge accuses Harry of putting a jinx on the entrance to the Great Hall that made her hair fall out when she entered the room. McGonagall shows up to investigate the commotion so quickly and quietly that nobody realizes she moved, which Ron lampshades.Ron: [startled] Damn, Professor! Where did you come from?!
McGonagall: Never you mind that, Weasley. - McGonagall casts a spell on Harry's wand to prove he didn't cast the jinx. Among the last few spells he performed is one that turned a wooden block into a carving of a duck.
Chapter 21
- Umbridge is seen being chased by several snowman at a speed considered impressive for both the snowmen and someone of Umbridge's physique. Ron wonders how the snowmen are running, to which Hermione points out that snowmen don't have legs.
- Harry enchants a miniature Christmas tree to sing carols with lyrics altered to insult Umbridge.
- Angelina asks what about Harry's tiny tree qualifies it to be at the table. Fred and George decide to interpret "tiny tree" as an Unusual Euphemism, to the former two's chagrin.Fred: Nah, Angie, his 'tree' isn't little at all.
George: Not with all the things he's done in the past like defeating Dark Lords, slaying giant snakes and the like…
Fred and George: [in unison] Nope. No small trees on Harry at all!
[Harry and Angelina facepalm]
