Funny: From Fake Dreams

  • Many of the scenes involving Sirius, especially when you recall he was made in the image of The Scotsman in Samurai Jack
    • Being overpowered by a drunken Taiga because he gave her his 'special beer'.
    • The two Omake scenes of Louvre using unusual torturing methods to get him to make him a Mystic Code.
    • Convincing Lancer to go out with him for a drink.
    "Reinforcing booze? You genius!" The spearman roared in approval. "Why the hell didn't I think of that when I was alive?! I love this bastard!"
    "Yer not so bad yerself blueboy!" Sirius laughed, already getting along far too well with the heroic spirit for Bazett to feel comfortable with.
  • Archer EMIYA reaction to being in this universe and realizing that this fic's Shirou is pretty identical him in this verse already in terms of looks and powers and that he needs to do something to prevent being confused with him and likewise Shirou with him. so Rin suggests him shaving his hair since he should have no problems conjuring up something to do the the job, the next line after this just makes it so perfect.
    • "Even without getting into any fights yet, Archer had already decided that he hated this new world."
  • Saber's possessiveness to her Suzuki Hayabusa.
    • And Taiga's reaction when she finds out Saber can ride it.
      • With this grand finale:
    "Fine. I'll ignore it for now. Just please don't let anyone see you on that thing. A bunch of gramp's men would go nuts if they saw someone other than Shirou riding it."
    Shirou nodded, silently patting himself on the back for putting on the rune sequences that make it easy for normal people nearby to ignore the bike as it ran.
  • Rin, Sakura and the Edelfelt sisters along with their butler showing up at Shirou's home to get help for a business deal at the same time Bazett is crashing there. It can't be summed up with words.
    • Taiga showing up during negotiations and mistaking it for Shirou buying a harem from a Yakuza, deciding Shirou needed to be punished and attacking with the cursed Tora Shinai.
      • As it happens, it wasn't Tora Shinai, but a near-permanent copy made by Shirou. The real one had been dismantled by Kirei on Rin's request.
  • Merem Solomon (the 20th Dead Apostle Ancestor) telling Lancer (who is part God) how much he would like to partake in blood of his quality.
    Lancer *stepping back nervously*: "Wait, are you saying that because I'm part god my blood acts like an aphrodisiac to you?"
    Merem: "No. More like an extremely tasty and rare meal that is literally impossible to obtain in this day and age that has nothing that can possibly match it. It is rather addicting to those who are fortunate enough to have ever tasted such an unrivaled blessing on the organ that we call tongues. Not to mention the rush we get from drinking blood of such quality is indescribable to those who do not share our physiology. Blood of your particular quality is unheard of in this day and age. I have no doubt that Van-Fem would be willing to pay a small fortune for just a single well preserved bottle of yours."
    Lancer: "Well it's good to know that Apostles have good taste in people, but I'm afraid that my neck is not…"
    'Lancer *noticing that Bazett is staring at him*: Beat''
    Lancer: "Oi, Master? What exactly are you thinking?"
    Bazett *who is in financial need and knows that Van-Fem (the 14th Dead Apostle Ancestor) is a honest businessman*: "A small fortune..."
    Lancer *backing up juuust a bit*: "Ok. Hold up. Both of you. Can we get back on track please? For example that half dead kid who nearly got killed by one of the strongest legends out there on magical steroids is still out there."
  • In chapter 26, the Edelfelt sisters attacked the Matou manor, burning it down in the process. In chapter 27, Shirou and Sakura stay home (at Shirou's), so Taiga has a classmate bring them the homework. Her choice? LUVIAGELITA EDELFELT. Princess!Caster's reaction is priceless.
    Unnoticed by all, the Princess displayed a rare moment of frustration and put her face in her hands in despair. Hopefully Saber and Rider would not hold a grudge for last night's events and… Oh who was she kidding? She was doomed.
  • Chapter 27's omake shows Kirei saving an American tourist during the clean-up of Louvre's familiars and why Kirei and the Church hate Hollywood.
    The American Tourist commenting on Kirei's technique: "Holy fuck it's Wolverine!"
  • From chapter 30, Bazett's reaction to her new legs. Who consider her their mommy.
  • From chapter 31:
    • After a chilling description of Sakura's nightmare, we get this:
    Shirou: "Yes. Yes. I heard you Fuji-nee."
    • After that, Taiga asks if Sakura's lack of sleep is owed to her having sex with Shirou all night long.
    Shirou and Sakura looked at one another skeptically. Technically they HAD done what Taiga was jokingly insinuating, along with other surreal and potentially illegal activities, but they weren't going to tell her that…
    ... Or maybe they were.
    "Scary…" Shirou shivered at the girl's ability to get around sensitive situation. The more he saw it, the easier it was for him to believe that she was Rin's sister.
    • Luvia and Princess!Caster's reactions when Shirou is forced to explain that Gilgamesh wants Saber as his queen.
    • The scene between Bazett, Lancer and Merem. With Bazett continuously threatening Lancer to use a Command Seal to have him sodomize himself.
      • ..which is just plain nasty. Seriously, a heart pierced by Gae Bolg will never heal, even if it's a god's. That means any ass reamed by the butt will never tighten..
  • From chapter 32, Taiga meeting Illya out in the night. This is just the start.
    Illya: "If it's so dangerous then why are you out, sensei?"
    Taiga *flinching because she was just walking around out of boredom*: "Urk! Ah well... you know. Just walking around to see if I can help out some friends with... stuff..."
    Illya: "Stuff?"
    Taiga: "Grownup stuff. Things kids like you shouldn't bother yourselves with."
    Illya: "Really? You mean like the time I once went to see mommy and daddy in their room and they were naked and..."
    Taiga: "Waa! Different stuff! Different stuff!"
    • Following this exchange, Illya dupes Taiga into bringing her to Shirou's home for a snack (with Taiga reasoning the lost little foreign girl would tickle his fancy of being a superhero), and Taiga warns Illya to not let herself caught in the harem of stereotypes Shirou is building for himself note . The latter claim caused Illya to be terrified of Taiga.
  • Chapter 33:
    • Taiga's sequence is beyond description.
    • Sakura's reaction to Rider telling her of Zouken's death:
    Sakura: "Rider, as much as you seem to be enjoying this, and I can indeed tell you are, can you please start from the beginning and not be so mysterious? While being told that Grandfather is dead is great news, I'm afraid I'm too tired and confused to be any more shocked than I currently am."
    Rider: "Do you wish for me to do so before or after you get some coffee?"
    Sakura: "Hopefully, after. Thank you."
  • Chapter 37: After seeing Kiritsugu's last letter to his daughter, which is a Tear Jerker in itself, you get to see the Clock Tower and Lorelei Barthomeloi, heading through the Sealing Designates' cell area. Then the narration mentions that one of them is there for making Pokemon.
  • Chapter 38 has Rin using her second Command Seal to force Archer to speak full, accurate, and elaborated truths, rather than the technical truths, half-truths, and outright lies that he'd been telling her. While most of what he tells her is as horrifying as you would expect, given who he is, he does take a small measure of revenge by giving a demonstration on how he could identify Gae Bolg accurately: taking off his armor and showing them the scar he received from it, stretched across his very muscular chest. Rin, Luvia and Princess-Caster are all stunned speechless by the sight.
  • Sella offers to do the dishes after a meal prepared by Shirou, and gets hit with a speech in which Shirou patiently explains that the list of people he allows into his kitchen is shorter than the list of people he allows in his workshop, and she has not proven herself worthy of setting foot in there, even though she has no intention of trying to cook anything. What makes it so funny is the fact that Shirou is completely serious.