Funny / Battle Fantasia Project

The original version

The Italian remake

• Production notes mention the Italian Guardia di Finanza (a gendarmerie specialized in financial crimes) once managed to arrest Arcueid Brunestud, Nrvnqsr Chaos and Roa. Why is this here and not among the awesomeness? Because of how it happened: Arcueid simply let herself get arrested because she knew she would get out soon enough and becoming a wanted criminal could have caused her unneeded distractions, Roa's arrest consisted of him getting shot a dozen times and the Guardia di Finanza complaining about their weak sidearms when they saw he was still alive (to be fair, the pistols they used at the time of the incident were underpowered), and Chaos laughing until he fainted when they ordered him to stand down. They still got a fearsome reputation out of it (because Roa couldn't say anything to anyone, Arcueid doesn't care of setting the record straight, and Chaos was too ashamed of what happened to reveal he wasn't really defeated in some epic battle).
• The list of Minako's prank presents:
  • Ami: music CD of the Queen in memory of Freddy Mercury, porn about Ami's ideal man Albert Einstein;
  • Artemis: a chocolate box with a spring-loaded monster inside, fennel (suggested by Michiru, as the Italian name of the plant is a slang for effemminate people);
  • Cornelia Hale (the trope picture on the Green Thumb page): a gardening manual;
  • Haruka: the issues of the magazine Margaret in which The Rose of Versailles was first published. Both prankster and victim fainted when Michiru pointed out just their enormous monetary value;
  • Homura Akemi: a pocket watch reproducing the fob watch;
  • Hotaru: a street lamp for her lamp collection;
  • Makoto: a rose cake (Minako learned the recipe just for this);
  • Mami Tomoe: padded bra;
  • Mamoru: a hand-made copy of a Colt 1911 in case someone tried to kidnap him again (backfired when Usagi confiscated it and demonstrated being a better shoot with it than Minako herself with her service gun firing a cartridge noted to be extremely accurate), the original Batmobile of Adam West's Batman (1966);
  • Michiru: a gigantic piece of turron (a sweet that the Italian city of Cremona, where Michiru lived and from where her violin comes from, is famous for);
  • Mikomi (an amnesiac Puella Magi): a journal;
  • Naru the Youma Bait: a fishing rod with live bait;
  • Natsuna e Wakagi: cherry-flavored condoms;
  • Rei: all she needs to play the Adeptus Mechanicus (surprisingly, Rei and Minako are a formidable duo in tournaments), a 1999 Suzuki Hayabusa with an helmet decorated with mice;
  • Setsuna: a TARDIS model (and that's why Homura got the fob watch: Minako had already given Setsuna the TARDIS and didn't want to repeat herself);
  • Umino: corrective surgery for his eyesight (the joke was on everyone else: Minako was the only one knowing that Umino is actually gorgeous without the Nerd Glasses);
  • Usagi: a giant hamster wheel (Usagi loves it, and uses it as an exercise machine).
• In an omake, Madoka, upon Sailor Venus' suggestion, wishes for Kyuubey to transform into every single character in the song The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny plus Bruce Lee, and sic them on Chaos. Ten minutes later, thanks to the power of the Chuck Norris Facts, Chaos had been annihilated, after which we see a scene of chaos in which Minako trying to drive Optimus Prime, Batman cheating while playing cards with Superman and Puellae Magi recharging their Soul Gems under the Care Bear Stare are the less insane things happening.
• The species' sheet about the centaurs has a few gems:
  • The sheet claims that centaurs are exceptionally smart, but their instincts will make them do stupid things. As example, they bring the initial battle of the Centauromachy, that the centaurs lost due a combination of being too drunk to fight well, the sober ones running away when they saw the fight coming, and pissing off Herackes, but not before three of them, so drunk they could barely stand, killed a warrior that could not be cut or pierced by beating him with rocks and clubs and then stomping him (Zeus, who had been pissed off by the warrior, was about to suggest them something, but the drunkards were too fast);
  • Centaurs are excellent lovers due being, well, hung as horses and smart enough to know how to please their lovers. Also, they tend to hit on the magical girls, who usually run away screaming (the centaurs living near Equestria are genuinely baffled by this), and Scorpan's looks are explained by centaurs doing it with anyone as long as they're sentient;
  • There's been a diplomatic incident between Equestria and the centaurs caused by the racist Earth Ponies of Promise sending an Ursa Major over the border in retaliation for an unicorn illusionist giving them trouble with the Royal Provost Battalion. How was it solved? By applying the Treaty of Vermareilles... Whose provisions specify that in these cases the injured centaur tribe has the right to sack the residences of the attacking party and go wild on them as long as they don't kill or enslave anyone (the authority figures of Promise were later arrested, and the city commissaried, as requested by Equestrian law). How the hay Celestia allowed such a provision to get in the treaty...
• Lord Martiya's essay on laser weapons includes, among the defects of laser weapons, the fact the large heat waste could summon an annoying Incubator who will try to have you use a different weapon, at least until a more experienced one will carry him away. Those young annoying Incubators can also be summoned by nuclear experiments, at which point other Incubators will drain away the ambient mana to prevent their regeneration and keep the idiots dead.
• Darcy, the Manipulative Witch from Winx Club, is a licenced therapists. The only one on Magix. With her rival in love among her patients.
• Remember the meme about Hitomi Shizuki and tummy punches? Well, in this story, she's been trained into boxing by her father (former prefecture champion back in the college), and has been attempting to found a boxing club for years. Oh, and her future magical girl form features steel gauntlets.

The gag list of rules for the magical girls

• The Running Gag of not exposing yourself to Michiru Kaioh and Susanna Slepoj trolling tendencies or to Minako Aino and Irma Lair's pranks.
• Exporting Girl Genius to Equestria is banned because they're already having trouble keeping at bay a Mad Scientist named Awesome Heart without giving her ideas.
  • Apparently, unicorn colts and fillies have a phase where they're mad scientists, Awesome Heart is just one of those who didn't got over it (and the worst). Needless to say, the ban is even more motivated.
• Interfering with coffee shipment from Turkey, Finland or Italy to Equestria is considered attempted murder of Twilight Sparkle.
  • On the other hand, whenever she visits the chewingum pink-colored friend of hers must not have any coffee.
• The Starlight Breaker is not a valid way to befriend people.
• Minako and the Cuban cigars she uses when playing at Warhammer40000 (yes, she plays Cadians).
• When Stormy asks for help to "scratch an itch", it means Icy has misplaced the back scratcher again and she can't find it.
• The Running Gag about Magical Girls being fans of Cutey Honey.
• C4 is not a replacement for plasticine or similar materials.
  • The same as above is valid for all plastic explosives.
  • Just in time...
• The Trix got their degree from Cloudtower as an honorary degree for taking over the school less than a week after getting expelled.
  • It's a school for Unseelie, what were you expecting?
• Remember the Miss Magix contestant who looked like Layla and tried a pugilist number during the talent show only to get beat up? It was Layla, and Darcy beat her up when she asked for a volunteer. She still holds a grudge on Darcy for that and on her sisters for not stopping her (or at least not warning her about their sister's Super-Strength).
• Altrouge Brunestud is not the inspiration for Evangeline A.K. McDowell. Even if her child form looks like Evangeline and she has the habit of freezing idiots.
• The Church denies that the Son speaks to a priest of the Po Valley.
• What is the evidence that the Trix aren't rabbits trying to eat cereals but always getting robbed by kids? If they were, they would eat the cereals for breakfast and the kids for lunch and dinner.
• Incubators are not the origin of the legend of the Genie in a Bottle. We know because the Sailor Soldiers found some actual ones while searching for their annoying cousins.
• Sailor Neptune grew up in Italy, and Sailor Venus is a honorary British. Hence why in their presence the word "football" alone is always referred to association football and you will not use the word soccer.
  • Also, for your own good, never mention the 2002 World Cup or Byron Moreno near Neptune, nor leave her alone with the magical girl that can summon a train: she's still pissed at Moreno getting bribed to eliminate the Italian team, and given the existence of a song wishing Moreno to get ran over by a train they fear she'll try it (luckyly, the South Korean team is safe: she concedes they played well, and doesn't blame them for their bosses bribing the referee).
• Someone informed Sailor Venus and Ming Ming that they could take part to the Eurovision Song Contest without being from the country they represent. Whoever did it is to be executed.
• Equestria may be eligible to take part to the Eurovision Song Contest since 2009, but Pinkie Pie is banned from taking part in any way that requires her to be in the building while the contest is held.

Side story: The Unlikely Love Story of Kai and Mariam

The side story "The Unlikely Love Story of Kai and Mariam" is dedicated to what is, in the authors' own words, a Crack Pairing. For obvious reasons it qualifies for this page.

• Chapter 1, in which they first meet:
  • As detailed elsewhere, their first meeting was due them getting drunk and meeting while under the effects of alcoohol. But how did they get drunk? Mariam was fed liquor-flavored bob bons by Dunga as a prank, and that was enough for her (Ozuma wouldn't take him out of trouble, this time). Kai, on the other hand, was trying to wrap his head around he fact his grandfather's main goal in his plan was to get him to make some friends and reacted Vodka Drunkenski-style (something his grandfather promised to strangle Vorkov for, as Kai picked it up in Russia and he didn't report it), and he couldn't read the labels on his grandfather's bottles of Korean Gargle Blaster (admittedly, he could have taken it, as he's used to vodka and the stuff was lighter, but, not knowing what it was and that it wasn't that much lighter, he went overboard).
  • Why did Dunga prank Mariam? Because she had bet he'd fail into challenging Kai again, and he owed her bon bons (she also bet with her brother they'd hire Umibozu and not City Hunter. He owed her an apple pie). This time, because the Hiwatari had hired Umibozu to keep him out.
  • Takao is the first of the Blade Breakers to find out about Kai and Mariam. How? Well, he was at the hideout of Kai's gang to try and get his help with Ozuma when Mariam, who had just woken up, ran out of Kai's room half-naked, went into the bathroom, got dressed, and ran away, with Kai leaving his room to tell Hiruta to bring him something for the hangover and remind him to not drink again anything he didn't know what was beforehand before noticing that Mariam had accidentally left with his Scarf of Asskicking and without her bra. That was enough to convince Takao that yes, Kai could get drunk in spite of what he saw him drink in the past.
• Chapter 2, in which they start trying and failing to meet alone and exchange scarf and bra:
  • To get back her bra, Mariam visits Kai's home while hoping he didn't do anything strange with it (she had heard strange things about Japanese and sex). His grandfather is happy, because, between Kai and his crazed sister, he was despairing for the future of his family... Too bad he just moved out to Takao's home.
  • Kai is sure his gang will track down the Saint Shields with ease, thanks to how they dress and the fact Tokyo isn't filled of weirdos as New York and London are. Cue Takao, who has overheard him thinking out loud, pointing out that people in the other wards of Tokyo do dress that strange and even stranger (especially at Shibuya) and that, due Takao getting defeated by Ozuma before cameras, their outfits are becoming fashionable. Thus the Big "NO!".
  • Mariam tries to infiltrate Takao's home to exchange scarf and bra. Hiromi spots her and calls Max because his challenger's visiting.
  • Contrary to all expectations, the Shell Killers did find Dunga thanks to his size and him being the only one daring to go shopping dressed like that. They start shadowing him... At which point Shinichi Haibara, former leader of the Shell Killers who was overthrown and kicked out by Kai, challenges them out loud and Dunga escapes via Roof Hopping. They beat him up for this.

Side story "Sailor Training"

• Mio Kuroki's Heroic BSoD when Seiya mentioned Minako in her presence.
• Right before that, Seiya mentioned Minako's condition on allowing Kakyuu and the Sailor Star Lights to cut their training short and leave the planet: survive a round with Chuck Norris. Wisely, they don't dare until Minako tells them they can do it.
• Minako's hammy revelation of the various Muggle Secret Keepers of the Sailor Senshi (at least those whose memories weren't wiped because they couldn't keep their mouth shut), especially Naru.
• Minako's birthday present to Naru: Eudial's Fire Buster II (she had forgot it at the Marine Cathedral), for self-defence when she'll get attacked again. She doesn't get to finish the explanation on what it does when the Sailor Animamates walk in transformed. And they weren't even there to attack her (they were planning to attack her, but the following day, and finding out she has been attacked by all the other enemies without showing special powers made them decide she wasn't one of her targets), they just wanted to eat something and were transformed to try and get a discount with their charm.
• The explanation of why the Shitennou hated each other: they used to be friend, but one day the friendly competition between Zoisite and Nephrite led the former to create Mio and Nephrite, following the advice of a drunken Jadeite, created five perverted tentacle monsters. It degenerated from there.
  • Later, those tentacle monsters attack separatedly, only to end at the receiving end of a bunch of hilarious Curb-Stomp Battles:
    • The first one, following their plan, tries and molest Ami on the train, only to get thrown out hard through the window. Then Ami notices the blood was purple, and went to annihilate him happy to have an excuse to kill the molester.
    • The second one is the weakest, but has the interesting ability to block the Sailor Senshi powers, and attacks Makoto. Who is far stronger than him, and is getting training in Jeet Kune Do. Do the math.
    • The third one attacks the girls when they're at the sea with an horde of monsters, Mooks and a gigantic monster called Yer-Anus... And doesn't get to finish his challenge before the Sailor Senshi annihilate Yer-Anus with a Sailor Planet Attack (the narration points out that Minako and the Outers prefer to make speeches from a protected position for this reason). After which Sailor Uranus, offended at the Yer-Anus' name, starts laying waste of the survivors. As for the tentacle monster... He tried to kick Sailor Mars, only to find out that she can use the Fire Soul as a flaming barrier and to reinforce her punches, and that Sailor Venus hates tentacle monsters so much she has no qualms to grab the Fire Buster II from Naru, extract his Heart Crystal (because surely it wasn't pure) and eat it (Neptune called her out for scaring Saturn, who has bad memories about eating Heart Crystals), only to spit it out because it tasted bad.
    • The fourth, who had built combat robots based on Sailor Moon and her guardians, decided to defect, and faked a bank job to try and contact the most pragmatic of the Sailor Senshi, believing she would listen him. Said pragmatic Sailor Senshi is Sailor Venus, she has control over metals, he's a tentacle monster (that she loathes), and the bank has a vault armoured in tank armour due what the art thieves known as Cat's Eye did to the previous one. OUCH. At least Venus repaired the damage before leaving...
    • The final one decides to recover the Seven Great Youma, and after discarding five as too dangerous to recover at the start, decides to start with the one in Egypt. Alias, the one inside Reika Nishimura. The Sailor Senshi were waiting for him. And he got lucky. Who was the last one? Boxy, the one inside a priest... Who was in Rome with the Executors and the Burial Agency.
    • By the way, why does Sailor Venus hate tentacle monsters so much? Because when she returned from London her parents didn't come and get her at the airport because her mother was busy having sex with one on her bed and her father was doing the same on Minako's.

Side story: Practical Lessons for Magical Girls

Every chapter of this side story gives the girls advice for something, and then shows various scenes of them putting it in practice:

• The first chapter "If They Can't Use It Anymore..." deals with taking things from dead enemies and allies. Full of Black Humour (aside for Star Reveries scene, as it's her only way to support herself), with Minako and Mami telling their friends they fully expect them to rob their own bodies if they fall in combat, and Mami and Homura discussing who takes what from Sayaka's body, with Mami considering taking Sayaka's bra as it looks her size;
  • The final scene has the narration mentioning that the battle in which Sayaka just died had been against Quitterie and noting that Homura had been really enthusiast in hitting her face.
  • The scene before that has Elyon remembering Cedric's description of Meridian's economy as ruined by "over ten years of your brother who can't administer fucking anything but listens to imbeciles. Yes, my main qualifications are as soldier and librarian, but how is it that my theorical knowledge makes me less qualified than stupid nobles who can't even administer their allowance?!".
• The second chapter "Biographies" deals with the girls telling their adventures for money:
  • From Sailor Moon, it was the Sailor Senshi.
  • From W.I.T.C.H., is was the Guardians of Kandrakar.
  • From My Little Pony TV Specials, it was Megan Williams.
  • Minako choosing Masakazu Katsura (instead of Naoko Takeuchi or Go Nagai) as the artist for Akiko's manga because she owed him one for mistaking the DNA² Mega Playboy's ability as an hint he could see the future and was mocking her (due it being the opposite of her own ability to bring couples together) and thus nearly torturing him to find out how.
  • Tokyo Mew Mew characters have started serving at their cafè transformed, are now giving discounts to their fellow Magical Girls, and put the affogato al caffè on the menu, accomplishing two goals: getting more customers and get more security in their base by having a lot of magical girls among their customers. Kisshu reacts by getting a table and flirt with Mew Ichigo, but Pie barges in intent to take hostages among the new customers... And ruining Sailor Neptune's first affogato in years.
  • From Lupin III, Koyuki Mine, honest granddaughter of Lupin III, tells her grandmother Fujiko she doesn't want the money Lupin put away for his descendants, as it's stolen. Fujiko promptly explains her that it's actually the royalties of the works based on his adventures, and that he pulled his stunts so that they would sell more. That, and because he later discovered they amused him...