L: Oh, my apologies, I forgot that you're the sexual scourge of womankind. You obviously only have sex with me because you roll over in your sleep and misjudge the distance. Maybe you're Sleep Walking... or maybe the term, 'sleepfucking', would be more appropriate. Maybe you're completely unaware of what you're doing.
Light: It happens.
This moment from Chapter 16:
Sometime ago, Matsuda had left a post-it on one of the laptops in which he'd accidentally managed to wedge a biro into the CD drive in an attempt to extricate something. "Pen is stuck in drive" Only the 'pen' and 'is' were written too close together. L now had a 'penis stuck in drive' post-it stuck on his laptop screen. He was considering framing it.
Light: I wonder what N stands for... 'Nobody', 'Notus', 'Nomad', 'Nincompoop', 'Norman', 'Nemo', 'Neo'... 'Norris', 'Nathaniel', 'Noah', 'Ned', 'Nando', 'Napoleon', 'Nelson', 'Nickelodeon', 'Nicodemus'...
L: Near... It stands for Near, Light. Remember it. I'm glad that you're showing an interest though, for I never expected any less of you. However, I am most insulted on his behalf that you think that he could be named after a lost fish or Keanu Reeves.
Matt and Kira's first meeting:
Light could hardly make the boy out for the orange googles which covered most of his face. He looked at him like he was observing a uninspiring-looking insect in a tank.
"Where have you been all my life? Etc." the boy continued unabashed. He looked like he found the whole thing too amusing.
"Trying to avoid you," Light replied.
"Ha. Anyway, Ducky - I've got a message for you!"
"What kind of message? Would it include a 12 pack of lager, a bottle of cider and a Barry White compilation? Because if it does then I think I'm fine right here, thank you all the same. How old are you anyway?"
"Well, sorry but you've got to be 'this' tall to get on this ride."
Matt: He's always prissy, sitting at his desk like, 'I'm the king of you' to everyone and then Kira prances in and ol' Miki's literally throwing himself on the ground all, 'Take me up the arse, oh mighty one.' Bloody eejit.
L (to Mello): When you shoot, try to hit this shoulder, not this one. On cold days this one aches like a bastard and reminds me of Light. I suppose that it is only right that I should have a matching pair.
L and Light have a slight problem when trying to turn over a new leaf:
Light: L, when you've been who I've been, you can't exactly get a job in a service station.