"omg my sweet lady" he cried! "what has this frightful asshole been doing to thee?"
He was smilling in a proper creepy way and looked totaly weird like a greasy frog thing and his male genital item was not nice like edwards it was like a horible wet mushroom.
For some reason when Jacob is yelling at Tia for being a "HALF-BREAD! HALF-BREAD!" I burst into a hysterical mess.
Not to mention he's mentioned as jumping up and down whilst yelling.
This Troper's face hurt from laughing after, "everyone CLANGLED at me and blushing I went to sit on my friends".
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING YOU EVIL RODENT PEOPLE?!!!!!
Pretty much everything to do with the panda.
"stop raping me!!" The best part about that bit is, in the Dramatic Reading, the narrator says it like it's only mildly annoying, like how you might say, "Stop poking me!"
Uncle Larry calling Tiana an "evil bitch" and then demanding she go and wash his car, and she actually goes and does it. And also he apparently spanks for half-an-hour before raping her on the bonnet of his "red porche" in broad daylight.
"HALF-BREAD! HALF-BREAD! HALF-BREAD!" (Once would have been funny, but when the same misspelling is repeated three times in a row ...)
Tiana showed Edward her naked BEASTS!
Man Without A Body giving Uncle Larry Barney the Dinosaur's voice, as if the character wasn't ridiculous enough.
The word "plimpled".
The various weird-ass euphemisms the authors uses to describe penises. Gigglestick. Mancarrots. Lavender man-fruit thing. And, of course, Jacob's horible wet mushroom.