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"My Immortal" is the mad ravings of a regular girl who went insane after finding out that the the butter she was eating wasn't real butter

This is what happened:

A Christian girl named Tara leads a perfectly normal life; loving family, great group of friends, Harry Potter books to enjoy, and a massive love of butter.

So one day, she goes downstairs to the kitchen for her regular breakfast: Count Chocula cereal, Orange juice, and buttered toast. As soon as she takes a bite of her toast, she notices something off about the butter she is eating. When she asks her mother about it, her mother says that they were out of the regular butter they usually get, so she got the "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" original version.

After learning this, Tara goes insane. She kills her dog, stops going to church (saying that she converted to Satanism), and starts talking in unintelligible textspeak. Her parents take her to several psychologicalists who, convinced that she has gone nutso, send her to a mental institution.

While there, she creates a world where everything is okay, and she still has her precious real butter. This world changes from a happy place created from memories of her old life to a fantasy alternate universe of the Harry Potter canon, born from her new, transformed, twisted thoughts on the book series, in which she is the heroine and everyone loves her. She regularly goes to the computer room at the asylum she's in; to post her created world online, as both of her mental worlds collide and she believes that she is a regular girl who is writing her magnum opus; an amazing Harry Potter fanfiction.

That's what really happened.

It makes perfect sense if you don't think about it.

"My Immortal" is a legitimate parody of the gothic scene

This troper was part of the gothic scene in germany quite a while and can perfectly imagine a parody going overboard like this. Many Goths just love Harry Potter, as well as hating posers and preps, the combination is genius. At least that is what i was thinking reading this abomination. To give tiny examples, all the bands mentioned are played in discos and gain spotlight in magazines while no one genuine likes them, as well as the problem members of the scene have to face with oversexualisation of the style.Put this together with having some fun writing it, then having fun trolling the flamers until it becomes too dumb / boring, at which point it suddenly ends. Tara (considering the youtube account i found is genuine) seems a bit young, still i like my theory better than, well, everything else.

My Immortal is the result of a young girl feeling uncomfortable with her sexuality

Chapter three of the AU humor/parody fic "Dudley Dursley's Sassy Gay Friend" has Dudley running across a strange, Gothic girl's memoirs (rather than a Harry Potter fanfic) called "My Immortal" on the internet while attempting to do research on homosexuality in order to better understand his flamboyantly gay cousin. Based on the fact that Ebony claims to be bisexual but never has any sexual relations with any girls while getting with practically every guy she sees, Dudley comes to the conclusion that Ebony is actually straight but that she considers being "Bisezual" a "Goff" thing. Therefore, her repressed heterosexuality leads her to overcompensate, creating the "Plot."

"My Immortal " is the result of someone slamming their face against a keyboard many times, without realising it was on.
It's certainly as bad as that.

My Immortal is not Harry Potter fanfiction

It's just a bad story with some plagiarised names. Can anyone find any part of the story that it implies it takes part in the HP universe?

  • Well, it takes place at a castle called Hogwarts and it is a school, even if it doesn't seem to teach magic anymore.
  • Perhaps, in the My Immortal world, there is a high school by the name of "Hogwarts" in America, named in honor of the book series, which does exist in the world. (This explains why the teachers are "profesors" and Dumblydore is called the headmaster.) Some of the characters, by cruelty of their parents, have the names of the main characters in Harry Potter. In order to not be made fun of, they went by nicknames. (Like Hermione going by "B'loody Mary.")
    • Jossed as it specifically says that the school is in England.

My Immortal is an experiment
It was written by a psychologist to examine people reactions to raping a popular canon. The WMG and JBM pages for My Immortal will be used for careful reassearch about human nature.

My Immortal takes place in a chaotic timeline.
It explains why there doesn't seem to be any kind of logic in the universe of the fanfic. The timeline didn't start bifurcating when Enoby went back in time, though. Rather, Marty McFly caused the first bifurcation before the story even starts - Enoby just made things worse. The reason the fic ends? The timeline finally became too chaotic to support organic life.

My Immortal is an Eldritch Abomination in fan-fiction form.
Every mite of sanity it drains from a reader goes one step further towards allowing it to take a material form in this dimension and finally eradicate all reasoning consciousness.
  • Actually, I think you got it backwards. This is fan-fiction of an Eldritch Abomination. When you think about it, it explains everything.

Tara is merely the first vessel of whom it has taken control.

  • This troper is the human form of an inter-dimensional, shape-shifting Lovecraftian being, and does find a strange yet familiar energy surrounding this media. Therefore, this theorem just might be viable.

Tara's account was never hacked
Most people assume Tara's main goal was to troll the Harry Potter fandom like never before. A new account with a very Tara-esqe written sequel, X Hot N Heavy Goffz 666 X, also uploaded the original story, including the hacked chapter. So we may have an amazing Tara impersonator, or we may have the real Tara returned and refreshed after a long break. She's back this time.
  • That's what people said last time. And the time before that.
    • We just want to hope! Inside we know the truth, but please... let us hope that the lulz are back.

Everything in the story after the hacked chapter was the hacker.
Notice how every error becomes more exaggerated after chapter thirty-nine, and all the names switch back. The author punctuates hysterically, makes the same typos over and over again, and starts referring to "Vampire" as Harry. The Signature Style is even worse, the notices to "stop flaming u prepz" are more insistent and poorly spelled, and numbers are used as replacements for words more often (2 instead of too more often). Surely you'd think she'd learn something about writing over time, rather than her style decaying more? Tara also said that she was considering ending the story right before the hacker showed up. Maybe the hacked chapter wasn't the end of the hacking?

They're all German
Think about it. "Das Nightmare b4 Xmas", the fact that they always say "Yah"? It would even explain the bad English. Tara wrote this to improve her skills from her home in Munich. It also explains her fixation with British vs. American accents.
  • Strangely, there actually was a german Harry Potter fanfiction author who was known for terrible spelling and misspelled Dumbledore in several of the same ways Tara did. And she vanished some time before Tara's first works showed up... Oh, and on top of this, "Abra Kadabra" is a spell known very well in germany and easy to confuse with "Avada Kedavra".
  • I am German, and her failures at English do not seem particularly German to me. Also, the German name of The Nightmare Before Christmas is... The Nightmare Before Christmas, and even if it were translated, that would be "Der Albtraum vor Weihnachten".

My Immortal isn't bad.
We all just think it is because we have no taste in literature or Fan Fic.

My Immortal is a masterpiece.
See above. Remember how Finnegans Wake was horribly received in Joyce's time? In the same fashion, literary critics some 50 years from now will rediscover the work and hail it as one of the greatest examples of modern literature.
  • Really? Because I'm fairly sure that I would rather just let the nukes start to fly now, if that's what civilisation will be like in fifty years.
    • I imagine it could be hailed as the pinnacle of postmodernism or a deconstruction of conventional storytelling in the highest form.

The story is a copy of the Daily Prophet that Ron and Hermione's kids accidentally put online.
Hermione quickly fixed it with a charm that makes any muggle who looks at the page only see a terrible Harry Potter fanfic.
  • No, it's the real Daily Prophet article. Rita Skeeter wrote it with her usual level of accuracy. We're seeing it before it was given to her editor, so it's full of the innumerable spelling and grammar mistakes she always makes, but which said editor always cleans up before publication. Hey, in her articles from Goblet of Fire Rita canonically referred to Arthur Weasley as "Arnold Weasley" and misspelled the names of the other Triwizard champions. It's not too much of a stretch that her rough drafts would get everyone's names wrong as much as My Immortal does.
  • Um, would computers even work around wizards and witches like Ron, Hermione, and their children? I think Hermione mentioned in the third book that technology (like surveillance equipment) just fizzles out when around magic.
    • Firstly electric doesn't work around particularly magical places (ie. Hogwarts) not wizards and witches - otherwise there would be chaos in the homes of muggleborn children and Ron wouldn't have been able to use the phone in POA. Secondly, by Ron and Hermione's children's time wizards could have worked a way around this problem anyway.
    • Maybe they got their hands on their muggle grandparents computer while visiting them.

The reason the story never ended was because everyone was arrested by the Grammar Police
Tara's fanfiction was so bad that it began to warp the rules of grammar. It got away with it for a while because the Grammar Police couldn't find it through the internet, but the Hacker tipped them off where it was, and just after Ebony shooted 'Avada Kedavra' (and missed), the Grammar Police barged in and arrested everyone in the story, thus preventing the travesty from continuing. They got Tara too, and she is currently locked up in a mental asylum, where they hope to be able to rehabilitate her into a normal speller. The characters all got life sentances, but a few of the minor characters were able to take 'vacations' from Grammar Prison, and they serve the role of 'Tara' and 'Raven' on Tara's other accounts. Britney and Darkness escaped, and they, as fugitives through the world of Fanfiction, became its greatest Sue-horrors, assuming roles in different fanfictions: the Griffindor/Preppy Sue, and the Slytherin/Gothic sue.

My Immortal is a real-life attempt at a Brown Note
Tara wants to drive all of us crazy so that she can take over the world. Let's face it, just reading it as it is now causes your I.Q. to drop 20 points. What if she makes an even more terrifying Brown Note that drives us to insanity? Everyone with common sense is incapacitated and Tara is free to rule.
  • So she's Pearl Forrester?
  • Yes. You have guessed it. Pearl came to the conclusion that none of the movies yet made would drive anyone insane, and so she decided to custom-make one for Brown Note-ery. She did not have the resources to make an actual movie, though, so she settled on writing the worst fanfic ever. However it went horribly wrong. She was exposed to the true horribleness of the fic, day in, and day out, and so she went insane, and now is at a mental hospital, because she believed that she was Tara Gilesbie, wannabe Goth fangirl who can't spell. The reason the fanfic doesn't end is because that's when the guys with the straitjacket came for her.
Her experiment failed. To everyone not as close to the story as the author, it simply caused a temporary drop in IQ, easily fixable by reading quality literature, and because people could endure it, Pearl, as Tara, gained fame throughout the internet as the author of the worst fanfiction in the world, that she had called My Immortal. Tragically, she is too insane to truly appreciate the depths of what she'd done, because she is now, in mind if not in body, completely Tara Gilesbie.

My Immortal wrote itself
Think about it, Tara's either a truly clueless fanfic writer or one of the most dedicated trolls ever... OR she simply does not exist. My Immortal spontaneously created itself from the sum of all the bad fanfics out there, creating the "Tara" as a mouthpiece to spread it's wickedly bad, but oddly fascinating existence all over the web... to take over the world (OF COURSE!) Things came full circle when the "Tara"-personality became sentient and tried to stop this madness, thus the whole "hacking" incident.

My Immortal was not initially a parody, but became one as it progressed.
Think about it: Tara starts writing a crappy Mary Sue fanfic, which is...rather heavily criticized. Tara decides to make it a parody when she realizes a non-parody Suefic just isn't going to work. This would explain why the spelling goes from decent to brain-breakingly terrible, and why the story seems to suffer from reverse Cerebus Syndrome.

Alternatively, My Immortal started out as a parody, but Tara went insane and started taking it seriously.
If you took it upon yourself to create and dwell on such a psychotic story, you'd go crazy, too. Tara is still writing it, currently on chapter 30,964, but has not been able to put it online because she has neglected to take a break from the story to go to work to earn money and pay her internet bill.

The My Immortal Movie will change the world forever.
Tara will collaborate with Seltzer and Friedberg and Uwe Boll to create the My Immortal Movie. This movie will be released on the 21st of December, 2012 thus revealing the true reason why the Mayan calendar ends on that day.
  • A movie so bad it'll split the very fabric of space and time!
  • If this is true, then only the brave crew of the S.O.L. can save us.
  • Or, inversely, the sheer amount of suck will cause an effect similar to digit overflow and wrap around to being a decent film. Not Snark Bait, not So Bad It's Good, not even So Okay It's Average. I mean a legitamitely decent film.
    • You mean where -2147483648 wraps around to 2147483647, creating an "abundant harvest for Hitler"?
  • Sorry, I do NOT see this happening AT ALL. Plus, Boll has better things to do like make crappy movies based on video games. Seltzer and Friedberg can just stick to their normal movie-making routines as well.
  • Most definitely Jossed; 2012 has come and gone, and lo and behold, the world did not end. Though it could still happen if they ever do produce the My Immortal movie.

Tara Gilesbie is a Time Lord.
Honestly, it's as good as any other explanation.
  • As long as she isn't Haruhi Suzumiya. Thinking about that makes me want to keep watching for potentially dangerous changes in reality already.

My Immortal is an experiment gone horribly wrong that destroyed its creators
Some scientists decided to test that whole theory on "if you placed a thousand monkeys with typewriters, they might eventually write Shakespere". As locking the monkeys was considered cruelty to animals, they had to keep everything secret, and decided to post their efforts in the internet so as to have the results of the experiment correctly valued. They decided to make the writings look like a "Harry Potter" fanfic because whatever came out could not be so bad, and to make it look like on, they taught the monkeys how to type some of the names. For more fun, they made the accounts of Ravyn and Tara.At first, they did run some spell-check. But then, one of them (Ravyn) had to leave for some time, and the other (Tara) was destroyed by their fic, reduced to... well, Tara. But some neuron conectivity remained, enough to remember that there was a Ravyn. And the neurons that still worked became the "Ravyn" personality, That was when they fought.The whole "hacker" thing is the other scientist, who was trying to destroy the story/work/whatever, to save his friend. The final chapter was when someone from outside found the place of this madness, freed the monkeys, and sent "Tara" to a mental home.

My Immortal is a Real-Person Fic Within A Fanfic.
Written by Taebory, a Shrinking Violet Muggle-born with a massive crush on Draco and malfunctioning Error-Correcting Ink.

It isn't even writing.
It is pure, unadulterated, mary sue fantasy manifested into text form without the constraints of actually being writing.

My Immortal was an experiment in psychological warfare
Your local secret organisation/military taskforce/hidden cabal developed the ultimate in brain-numbing technology: a series of words that was so mind-shreddingly painful, if it were ever deployed on a sufficient scale, it could bring the world to its knees. It was only after beta-testing it on a single website that they realised some things really are better left undisturbed.

My Immortal is based on Gone with the Wind.
Tara watched the movie (she didn't read the book, obviously) because she thought the plantation was named after her and she was inspired. Consider the characters:

My Immortal is a fic within a fic.
Starring Tara Gilesbie and Jenny (Raven). Think about it. It explains the occasional inconsistencies in Tara's character, and why she never grows as a person in over three years. The story is probably a parody of fanfic writers themselves. Whether or not the author was trolling or never thought people would believe her story is irrelevant.

They're both terribly, terribly written, have excessive ammounts of unnecessary sex, and have authors that respond stupidly to criticism.
  • No, MI is the result of the eponymous spell of death. This fic is FATAL, After the End.

My Immortal is Volxemort's journal.
He has been spying on Egogy and her friends, writing his findings down under the cover name of Tara. When Egogy killed him... Well, who'd keep writing?

My Immortal is a Troll Fic experiment Gone Horribly Right.
Exactly What It Says on the Tin, Tara experimented with Trolling by writing the abomination called My Immortal, however as it was her first time Trolling, she started to go insane from her own obnoxiousness causing her mind to crack under the pressure making her believe that My Immortal was an actual fanfic, and the more she wrote, the crazier she became, when she was allegedly hacked was actually her sane side come out and ask for help, unfortunately that side had caught the Idiot Ball and decided to troll her troll side instead. She is currently locked away in an asylum far away from a computer in hopes that she get better.

There is nothing special about this fanfic. The writer is just completley terrible at writing.
By sheer probability there would have to be someone out there who is a complete emo goth wannabe fangirl, and is too stubborn to change her ways. My Immortal is an example of this.

  • As another Troper has said: Good theory I suppose, but most of us were just having fun with the guessing game.
  • The artist behind the "My Immortal: The Parody" comic (NSFW) claims that she knows Tara Gilespie personally and yes, "My Immortal" was intended to be a completely serious fanfic. Allegedly, Tara was only thirteen at the time she wrote it (hence her total lack of knowledge about sex). However, since she has no proof to back up her claims, we can only guess whether she's telling the truth.

This fanfic will set up the biggest practical joke in the history of literature.
Someone will hate the fanfic so much they actively try to find the author's computer and delete the fanfic. And what will he or she find? A 200 page story written by Tara that makes Agatha Christie look like an ametaur.

This fanfic is reality.
The truth is everything in My Immortal is real. The reason why we don't notice is because once the final chapter was done, the characters finally went insane.
  • You are the Only Sane Man. Everyone of Earth, and that includes me, is just as absurd and nuts as the cast. You refused to surrender to the madness, and opted to imagine a world much to your liking. J.K.Rowling is Tara Gilesbe, filtered through your mind. Now I know that this makes no sense, but that's because nothing makes sense.

There are no typos.
Tara is an alien, and the fanfic is written in her native tongue. If translated to English, it would be a very good Harry Potter fanfiction. "Prepz" is in her native tounge, "Illiterate"
  • Or, it's not supposed to be a fanfic at all: Harry Potter is similar to their word, "Herry Ptter," which means something like "smart seminar." She's written an intelligent thesis to teach us about them, and to help us prepare for their coming. (All those Troll Fics that spawned after Tara? Her people.)

If a new chapter is added to My Immortal
The sheer awfulness will so great the setting becomes real.
  • No, the last chapter would have been a work of sheer brilliance. It would have redeemed all the previous chapters, explained all the apparent typos and plot holes, and rendered the whole story a work of genius. Tara would have been revealed to be a literary god who makes Shakespeare look like an amateur. If only she'd gotten to post that last chapter...
    • Or it will finally confirm whether or not My Immortal is a troll fic. And, if it's a troll fic, Tara could end up writing a talented version of My Immortal. One that is worthy of being part of the Fanfic Recommendations.

My Immortal is set in the verse of A Very Potter Musical.
It makes total sense! We shall ignore the irrelevant fact that My Immortal was written three years before A Very Potter Musical and focus on the important details. First of all, consider the way in which Hogwarts is overrun by Muggle pop culture and Americanisms. Second of all, look at the characters:
  • Harry, Hermione, and Ron: Friends with Draco now.
  • Dumbledore: Yells and swears at students ("Malfoy, you little shit!")
  • Voldemort: Perhaps he never wants to kill Ebony or "Vampire" himself because he hasn't "been feeling so evil lately". And he wears tap shoes, so how OOC would high heels be?
  • Lupin: He's a pedophile in both ("Cho, I said I was joking!")
  • Snape: Ditto. He has Ho Yay with Ron in A Very Potter Sequel. And you really could see the musical version of Snape saying things like "What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit?"
  • Hedwig: Talks in A Very Potter Sequel.
  • Umbridge: What's the one way in which Umbridge was OOC in My Immortal? That's right, being nice to Dumbledore. Well...
  • Hagrid: Is technically still a Hogwarts student according to A Very Potter Senior Year.
  • "The fat guy who killed Cedric": In Very Potter Musical continuity, this becomes Quirrell, who did strangely look like he had twice the body mass of a normal person while Voldemort was attached to him. Almost like Voldemort was just hiding his body under the back of Quirrell's robes. Now we know why Voldemort and "the fat guy who killed Cedric" were living together. And Voldemort was wearing high heels at the time.
  • Draco: 'Nuff said.
  • It works especially well with this scene:
    Dylan Saunders as Dumbledore: They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!
    Tyler Brunsman as McGonagall: Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?
    Joe Moses as Snape: How dare you!
    Lauren Lopez as Draco: BECAUSE [fails to strike pose] I LOVE HER!
    Joe Moses as Snape: Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms. [hammily exits stage]
  • Ebony is musical!Cho. "Ebony" is just her "goffic" name in the same way that "Vampire" is Harry's "goffic" name. Or at least very least, Ebony is "played" by Devin Lytle with the Southern accent.
    Devin Lytle as Ebony: WTF, is that why y'all wanted condoms?
    Brian Holden as Lupin: Only you wouldn't give them to me!
    Devin Lytle as Ebony: [flirtily] Well, you shoulda told me.
    Joe Moses as Snape: You dimwit!
My Immortal is a satire of 21st century teen fantasy fiction
At the dawn of 2000, there was the wonderful world of Harry Potter, Lord of Rings and other fantastical places with beautiful adventure sagas and they were good. Then along comes a Vampire Romance novel, Twilight, that becomes insanely popular compared to the other works extremely fast, infecting our book shelves with the genre and knock offs such as Vampire Academy and Vampire Diaries and bloodykiss/vampireangel/suckmylove/what-have-you. In My Immortal, the setting is Hogwarts with the characters we know and love, but as Ebony infects the school with goffik vampire crap, the setting and characters devolve so far we don't even recognize them. Tara Gilspie is telling us this is what has become of todays fantasy fiction, over run with inexplicably popular vampire romance novels that think brazil has a west coast, menestration is dead blood and self hating stalker emos make good boyfriends.

My Immortal is simply a purposely bad fan fic someone wrote for his or her own amusement and didn't expect to become legendary.

We are the fanfic!
It's a madhouse, A MADHOUSE!!

The fanfic is the Dying Dream of a depressed girl bullied to suicide.
  • It's her perfect version of the world, twisted by blood loss delirium.
    • That's...horribly depressing.

My Immortal was written by a thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters.
We all know the saying that, given enough time, a thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters would stumble across the greatest work of literature ever produced, or recreate the entire works of Shakespeare, right? ...Well, clearly, they just haven't been given enough time yet. This is what they've been producing along the way.

The story is a hoax created by Death Eaters to start an anti-Dumbledore movement among pure-blood parents.
The story, purporting to be the diary of a real Slytherin student, is circulated among certain pure-bloods who may be sympathetic to the Death Eater cause. They are told that it shows what's really happening at Hogwarts under Dumbledore, but, of course, it's just a heavy-handed lie, similar to Go Ask Alice. The fact that even hardcore Slytherins like Draco Malfoy are portrayed embracing Muggle culture and rejecting Voldemort on this basis is meant to shock and offend the sensibilities of these pure-blood parents, thus spurring them to oppose Dumbledore for inflecting the corrupting influence of Muggles on their children. The numerous spelling and grammar mistakes are intentional, meant to show how dumb the students of Hogwarts have become under Dumbledore's reign. The portrayal of Muggle culture is so wrong because the wizards who wrote it didn't look into it. Sadly, some pure-blood parents are ignorant enough of Muggle culture and cynical enough about Dumbledore to actually believe it.

My Immortal is a retelling of The Catcher in the Rye
Compare Enoby with Holden- both middle class teenagers who feel seperate from and superior to their peers and curse their lives. Ebony sees everyone she dislikes as preps while Holden sees them as 'phoneys'. Both swear excessively. Holden's relationship with his brother is based on respect turned to hatred as is Ebony's relationship with Raven and both have vauge images of their future. Plus, look at the depictions of conformity and school environments. Look at the relationships with teachers (both encounter awkward situations where they believe teachers are infatuated with them and 'perverts'). And both stories have abrupt endings that wrap up nothing, merely detailing a period in the characters lives. I rest my case.

My Immortal is an extremely imperfect version of Harry Potter from "The Library of Babel" by Jorge Luis Borges.
"The Library of Babel" is a short story set in a library which contains books in the form of every possible combination of letters in the English language (as good an origin for this abomination as any). Most of the books are complete gibberish, but some are legitimate literature. This would straddle the border...

My Immortal takes place in the same universe as Turkish Star Wars
I don't know how, it just does.
  • Thin plot thread holding obsessive amounts of self-indulgent gratuity (violence in Turkish Star Wars, sex in My Immortal)? An unstoppable protagonist? Small bits of the source work spliced into a barely-relevant story? Definitely. The Evil Wizard from TSW is Ebony's father. She was sent to Hogwarts after he was cut in half.

My Immortal is a Future Imperfect version of Harry Potter.
It's from either Warhammer 40,000 or Mortal Engines. One of the Harry Potter books was discovered, badly damaged, either in the ruins of America or somewhere on Holy Terra. Whoever did the transcribing embellished it and added parts, trying to come up with a storyline for the random text fragments.

My Immortal is an in-universe Alternate History in which Arthur Weasley has a high seat of of power in the Ministry of Magic.
The materialism, music, and shallowness of the characters are a direct result of Weasley's policies to introduce and emphasize muggle culture into the Wizarding World.

My Immortal is an alternate universe in which Voldemort did not receive word of the prophecy and thus did not attempt to kill Harry Potter.
Instead, his power grew, and his dark ways became associated with being "cool." Thus Enoby and her friends were raised in a culture where imitating the Death Eaters and dressing like them is the epitome of awesomeness. Enoby is a wannabe, trying to be like the Death Eaters in order to be accepted by her peers- and not be targeted by Voldemort's supporters. But, like a high schooler who pretends to be a nazi because it shocks people, she doesn't honestly believe in what Voldemort does and would oppose him if it was necessary- and she does.In this bleak alternate universe, Lupin and Snape are broken, lonely perverts, Dumblydore is foul-mouthed and depressed, and Harry Potter is a goff.

My Immortal one of the results of an experiment to see what happens when you give people in a mental hospital computers with internet access.
Raven is someone who takes care of the patients and used to help Tara (a patient) with her spelling, Tara killed her off in the story after she was fired and couldn't see her anymore, she then came back for her last paycheck and was somehow spotted by Tara who brought her back into te story along with compliments in an attempt to get her to stay. The reason so many characters in the story slit their wrists with no repercussions is because Tara did it a couple times prior to being brought to the mental hospital (only to be saved by doctors) and is now forced to wear padding on her wrists to stop her from trying to do it again, which she manages to try with various objects, and she's now fully convinced herself that cutting your wrists causes no damage. Everything else that makes no sense can be attributed to her being insane with the worsening chapters being her getting worse and worse.

Ebony can see through time
And it's slowly driving her insane. Note that things will occasionally have a preview moment which is never referred to again, only to have the exact same paragraph appear again when it actually happens. These are brief flashes of the future that Ebony sees. Also note how Ebony and Willow manage to get from the dungeons to the great hall in a single line; They don't, but Ebony perceives that they do. Her bizarre explanations/retcons of backstories is simply how she interprets the flashes of character's pasts she sees. The odd mixes of makeup and clothing that show up on most characters are a result of her actually seeing multiple versions of them from different times, thus causing the makeup to become something like what Tara describes when it blurs together in her vision. The slow plot deterioration is her mind desperately trying to adapt to this ability and failing; it tries to create a narrative out of the random snatches she sees, some of which are simply single words. (For example, her thinking that Young Voldemort told her that his middle name was Satan may have used a moment in which he explained that Voldemort was an anagram of his name to a friend or supporter, or he may have briefly gone by Marvolo simply to avoid the common name of Tom before coming up with Voldemort) The horrible grammar and total nonsense of the later parts of the story is caused by the limited material she has at hand. The entire time travel segment didn't happen at all, but something prompted her to think it did and her mind began using the snatches of Tom Riddle and the marauders to complete it. "Hedwig"'s appearance is due to several out of context shots of Harry mentioning her which Ebony misinterpreted, at which point she began using shots of yet another Hogwarts student to represent him. When "Satan" is brought to the future, it's actually Voldemort finally breaking into the school, which she saw a snatch of earlier when "Tom Rid" randomly showed up in Sinister's (Perhaps Trelawny and the never-described Sinestra look similar?) office. His turning into Voldemort is her self defense instincts taking precedence over this, briefly allowing her to see parts of the world the way they actually are.This also explains why both Vampire and Draco have flying cars; When Ebony thought she saw them standing near them (Or, indeed, in them) they were simply standing near (Or in) places The Car had been, which she could also see.

"This whole story is an artistic representation of the animal instinct and desire within us, untouched by modern society.
It's like those paintings that are so incomprehensible, they're considered genius. The poor spelling and grammar represents a lack of 'civilization', the fact that the characters are completely altered for the author's own desires represents our inner desires having a complete disregard for others. In this case, JK Rowling's original work. And then there's EVERYTHING about Ebony being a Mary-Sue.

This was intended as an extremely elaborate Take That! to point out the stupidity of the internet.
Think about it. It's so famously 'bad', people flock to say how bad it is, thus making it one of the most reviewed and most read fanfics of all time. The author deliberately spread gossip across the internet about how bad it is (using a string of contacts), and let the Hatedom work its magic. They intended to later tell all the haters how stupid they are for spending all their time bashing a work that they deemed bad, rather than reading the 'True Art' they seemingly worship.

My Immortal was pounded out during NaNoWriMo to win a bet.
  • Think about it. NaNoWriMo is all about literary abandon; write now, fix later. Maybe, in the beginning, she didn't have any word programs to use, and she used fan fiction sites as a way to save her work until such a day that she could get to a word program. By the time she did, the story had started to gain a massive following in all of it's suck, and she ran with it. NaNoWriMo accounts for the spelling errors (NaNo is fast and hard, especially for new writers, and you are encouraged to ignore spelling errors until you either get far enough ahead to breathe or the end of the month), the lack of continuity (when you are trying to hit that coveted 50k words, you'll do anything to make the story stretch on), and the sudden, seemingly unrelated plot twists and pop culture references (Plot Bunnies, which are sudden ideas you pound out to make the story go on, and word sprints, which are Exactly What It Says on the Tin, often lead to random references and additions you wouldn't normally put in if it wasn't NaNoWriMo, for the sake of satisfying the challenge or feeding the plot bunnies).

My Immortal is really an advanced sociological study.
Really. All the dynamics between the Goths and preps is really an analysis of modern society. The Gryffindor preps (notice how the ones in canon are either clever, successful, popular, etc.?)are the popular- well-connected obnoxious rulers. The goffs are the oppressed individuals fighting for a revolution, just like Romantic poets used to support the French revolution. It's significant they are the ones sent to defeat Voldemort. Because it really symbolises the so-called intelligent oppressed individuals fighting against a tyrant dictator. The goffs are rather like young Communist idealists years ago. Also, all the wrist-slitting is a critique on stressed teenagers who resort to self-torture. Ebony's insatiable desire to screw in public places? A satire on underage sex and promiscuity. And why oh why does a goff go for Hot Topic, a mainstream shop? Tara is using Ebony as a mouthpiece for armchair Socialists who like to think they practise this ideology when in reality they don't. Ebony thinks she is being goffik by going to Hot Topic when in reality she's being materialistic, spending a fortune on black leather fishnets. Hot Topic is a symbol for mass commercialisation. Snape and Lupin refer to rising paedophilia in the media. Omg I am starting to believe in this ...

My Immortal is a Satire on modern Goffs.
Why are the goffs portrayed as stupid wrist-slitters who are depressed over trivial things? They also seem to say really lame things,and talk about how good Satanism is when they behave like slutty preps. Posers are also made fun of. Dumbledore paints the Great Hall pink and then black, and goes round in an Avril Lavigne cloak. Surely Tara couldn't be that dumb? It was done deliberately, to make fun of Goffs. I mean, Allo Allo (a comedy set in WWII) was a parody on other TV dramas set in WWII. Tara obviously knows how imperfect Goffs are, she argues that Ebony is not a Mary Sue because she slits her wrists. They are written to be imperfect.

My Immortal is a parody on Milton's Paradise Lost.
Voldemort, also known as Satan, is Satan. The fact he keeps on nagging Ebony to kill Vampire (or he will kill Draco) doesn't make sense, why can't he kill Vampire himself? Voldemort's coolie, Snap (known also as Snoop and SNAKE) execute his orders. When Ebony goes to the cinema with Satan he admits he tried to use amnesia potion on her so that she would fall in love with him and do stuff with him. The amnesia potion represents the forbidden fruit. Since Satan in Milton's epic is the main character, and Ebony seems to prefer Voldermort to Dumbledore, Satan is the rebel angel breaking away from God/Dumbledore. It's also worthy to note that Adam and Eve live in harmony until the snake comes into the picture, just as Draco and Ebony are blissfully stewing in you-know-whats and makeouts until Vampire and Voldemort come in. After that, Ebony becomes promiscuous, just as Eve screwed Adam after eating the apple.
  • Alternately, Ebony represents Satan (since she's a Satanist). Professor Sinister/Trevolry argues if she tempts Voldemort to fall in lust with her he won't go round massacring Muggles. Ebony is therefore tempting Voldemort from his true vocation, hoping it will result in his fall from a high place.

My Immortal is a clever theological re-interpretation.
In Paradise Lost, Satan is the protagonist and God the antagonist. Tara is trying to argue that what we call God isn't a God because he is good or anything. God is worshipped because he won the war against Satan. Like if Hitler won WWII he would be the hero. See Writtenbythe Winners. By making the Christians evil preppy paedo's and the goffs the good guys she is arguing that Christianity's God isn't such a wonderman after all. By being a Satanist Tara is backing up a fallen dictator.

Harry Potter is in fact a My Immortal fanfic.
My Immortal broke the fabric of time and was lost for many years until JK Rowling found it and decided to write a fanfic for it. Tara later recovered it and put it on to bring the real story to the public. Unfortunately, it didn't work out as planned.

My Immortal was written by a rival band wishing to bring down sales of MCR, Good Charlotte and every band referenced in the fanfic.
It's too obvious that the slabbering references to hot goffik men in MCR are ludicrous and blindingly stupid. This is designed to put off readers from becoming MCR fans, making a fool out of Gerard Way, Marilyn Manson and company, by means of Reverse Psychology. Everyone is put off by Tara, anyone whom she fancies is immediately shot down, and everyone she disses is sympathised with.

My Immortal is Hell

No fire is hot enough nor punishment to ironic enough to satisfy eternal torment of the Devil. This, only this, read aloud for all time, till your ears bleed out your heart, till you scream out your lungs, till your so mad your sane again, quench the need of the Devil to cause you agony. Then Devil stop reading this, and start reading the 48,000 sequels!

The fanfic is a Take That! against Amy Lee fans

Hence why she warned readers who didn't know who she is to leave.

My Immortal is actually the centerpiece of an ARG.

The fanfic is actually hiding a secret code revealing the location where Vlodxmort is keeping Tara in bondage.

My Immortal was actually Ebony's last memoir, but the Death Eaters changed stuff.
Enoby used to be a normal student at Hogwarts until Voldemort decided he could use her as a tool to get at Harry. To do this, he had Draco use various spells on her that warped her perceptions of reality until she began to consider the Ebonyverse the real thing and she became a complacent pawn. It worked for a while, but occasionally she'd return to the normal world, necessitating stronger and stronger doses which began to take a toll on her sanity until she regained lucidity one final time. By then, everything Voldemort had been doing to her was causing her body to shut down and, desperate to recount the truth of what had been happening, wrote her version of My Immortal and sent it to her younger sister Tara who she hoped would publish it. Unfortunately, the document was intercepted by Death Eaters who were given orders by Voldemort to distort the truth.

So they decided to turn it into a fanfic and, none of them having any idea how to use a computer, just banged out what became known as My Immortal and placed the blame on Tara.

Tom Satan Bombadil-Anderson was present Voldemort all the time.
At the time of the time travel section, Tom Marvolo Riddle/Voldemort had graduated about forty years ago, so "Satan" cannot be the real pre-Voldemort, and he somehow transformed into present Voldemort for whatever reason when he was brought into the present - because his disguise was dispelled? And finally, he knows about thigs that will happen in the future, such as Hogsmint/Hogsmead (and is possible responsible for the culture anachronisms), which could be due to the fact that he is from the future. Ergo Tom Satan Bombadil-Anderson is Voldemort as a time-traveller disguised by glamour.

My Immortal would actually be very good...
If Tara had actually bothered to correct the fanfic's grammar, spelling, logical procedure of events, fix some problems with histories, clarify some things like the absence of Ravenclaw and talking!Hedwig, et cetera. Someone needs to rewrite this into something miraculous. And then tell Tara for the lulz.

My Immortal is actually the first draft of a Harry Potter shipping work set in Tara's mind.
  • It was extremely prototype and pure thought at that point, explaining the utterly horrible spelling and grammar (You don't have to bother if you can understand your own thoughts fine, and there is no telepathic filter converting it into understandable material for the rest of us).
  • Gaps in events and logical procedure thereof? Tara was working out the finer details and was flitting between areas, explaining derp moments coalescing into a pseudoplot and loose ending.
  • The fic cuts off because it was written down somewhere very thoroughly and the rest of the development process and final product is sitting around somewhere. Sequels to My Immortal are all just similar formations of shippingfics in fangirls (and fanboys) everywhere.
  • This also explains where and what many trollfics/failfics/badfics/Mind Rape fics supposedly are. They are developing fanfics before their birth and childhood in writing.

My Immortal takes place in the Dolan universe
  • It has atrocious grammar and spelling, virtually no coherent plot and everybody behaves like a sociopath. In fact, Enoby is actually Dolan himself in disguise.

My Immortal was meant to end where it ended with a Bolivian Army Ending
  • 1. She said there was only going to be 2 or 3 more chapters 2 chapters from the end. In fact she'd been talking about ending My Immortal for a while.
  • 2. She gathers together all the characters in the last chapter, including characters that hadn't been in the fic for a while, like Mc Google.
  • 3. This is the first time in the fic where Enoby actually tries to kill Volxemort.
  • 4. There's something about how dramatic the last few sentences are that makes me think that she was sincerely trying to end it where she did. "I just wanted to go to the common room and slit my wrists with mi friends while we watched Shark Attack 3 and Saw 2 or do it with Draco, but I knew I had to do something more impotent. ABRA KADABRA!11111 I shooted." There's actually buildup to the final line, you guys!

This fic is Jojos Bizarre Adventure Part 9 as reimagined by a heavily drunk seer.
The music references, the insane plot, everything was a heavily drunk seer trying to process Jo Jo part 9 without knowing what Jo Jo is thinking it's a Harry Potter book.Ebony The heroine and a counterpart to Jolyene from Part 6. Her stand is Kids with Guns by Gorrilaz.Draco (actual name:Yuri after Brendon Yuri from Panic at the Disco) a shy timid fellow who befriends Ebony. His stand Designated Lovers (named after the MCR song) creates slashing wounds on the user that do not harm them but do act as shields.Harry has the stand Brandon named after the Natewantstobattle song and it weaponizes the users tattoos.

    The Author 

Guesses As To Who The Hell Tara Is
Please put your guesses as to Tara's identity here.

Tara is...

  • GLaDOS, SHODAN, the HAL 9000, or any other AI that went rogue
  • a random member of the GNAA, Anonymous, or any other troll/hacker group
  • Christian Weston Chandler under a fake name
  • The Spy
  • Mia from Golden Sun , very very drunk
  • J.K. Rowling herself
  • Rose Christo
  • Some other famous person who can't admit they wrote this for fear of it ruining their career (regardless of whether it was trolling or genuine, it still would make them look bad)
  • Justin Roiland. Consider the cameo from Marty McFly and how at one point, he's called Morti. The secret inspiration behind Rick and Morty, co-created by Roiland?
  • Me

"Tara" was an extremely drunk and high Marilyn Manson
During the time frame of the fanfiction's creation, his marriage was imploding. That's likely to have an effect on anyone's psyche. At the same time, he was supposed to be working on a new album, one that was supposedly finished but never released. What is known about that album is that it was a part of his Celebritarian art movement, which was a sarcastic critique of celebrity worship and America's media culture. The only song that is suspected to have survived its shelving was "Mutilation Is The Most Sincere Form Of Flattery", which bashes pretty much every band "Tara" claims to love, as well as just everything that she takes to eleven. So, around the same time, all these thoughts were going through his head. Then his marriage imploded (never marry a stripper (fine, burlesque dancer), kids!) and he also began dating a 19 year old moron. With all of this, it's quite possible that, drinking more absinthe than usual and doing more drugs than he had in a while, combined with the stress, made him go completely insane for a while. This would explain Tara's knowledge of rather complex words, obscure references that also include the occasional geek culture and philosophical or historical icons, along with obsessive pop culture problems. Perhaps forcing himself to learn all the crap that had come out to better insult it also helped drive him to madness. Other elements of this come out, like the preps vs. "goffs" thing, which mirrors the music video for "The Fight Song", which is an American football game between jocks and goths. Basically, a psychotic break made him what he hated, which explains all the stupidity, with his real self shining through with some of the references and knowledge. "Raven" either didn't exist or was actually either Evan Rachel-Wood (the 19 year old moron) or Madonna Wayne Gacy (his legitimately schizophrenic keyboardist and best friend at the time) trying to keep a handle on the situation, as well as keep it secret and him out of the picture. And, for those of you doubting that this is possible, when he and Evan Rachel-Wood broke up, he had a legitimate psychotic break that ended up with him cutting himself 158 times on Christmas (one for every unanswered phone call) and vandalizing his entire mansion with insane writings on every wall, including doors and stuff, while staying in a single barren room with just a bed in the mansion, covering every wall in mad writings. So he's got a history of this. The only reason it got put together would be an editor, which makes Gacy the likely culprit. It didn't help that he's a schizophrenic, however.

Tara's last name is actually "Gilespie"
  • She's spelled her protagonist's own name wrong more than half the time, is it really such a stretch that she would misspell her own?
    • Tara's father is aviation historian Ric Gilespie.

Tara Gillespie is a very young (3-5)-year-old German girl who has seen the Harry Potter movies and has been on the internet for too long
All of the typos are explained if she is foreign, particularly the German-themed ones noted by another troper. All the storyline mistakes, character-name typos, and surreal happenings are explained if she is very young, and doesn't understand writing fanfic or writing anything very well. Her apparently adult knowledge of "goffics" and her primitive knowledge of sex come from internet pornography and "goff" sites. She talks about sex in porno terms, if even that; she often says "thingy" and "you-know-what", showing she actually has no idea what they're called. It's actually really sad.

There is no Tara Gillespie. itself wrote the fanfic
Notice how the ones who care the most about this fanfic are the people of . How evil and nasty the fanfic is. How Trope Overdosed it is.

My Immortal is another way for the people of to spread evil and mayhem in the world.

RAVEN is the troll.
Remember how Tara said Raven spellchecked it? She probably didn't look back over it herself, so Raven thought she could have some fun with it.

Tara Gilesbie is J. K. Rowling.
Makes perfect sense.
  • Rowling with major Sarcasm Mode on? It was her way to mess with the fandom? Yes. Yes, it does make sense.
  • It's the only thing that does make sense - JKR was sick of all those Mary Sues and wanted to prove that, even in her own fandom, she could outwrite and get more reviews than anyone else.
  • And she actually guessed several parts of the last book correctly!
  • It makes perfect sense! Rowling frequented, where she saw all of the slash fics, Mary Sues, Character Derailment, and Americanizations. So she used all of the Mary Sue cliches to create the ultimate Sue and pieced it all together.
  • If this is the truth then J.K. Rowling is my new deity.
  • Except how on earth would she know so much about MCR GC and Green Day? Some of the songs mentioned in the fic are very obscure like Demolition Lovers.
    • Wikipedia is your friend. You can find almost anything about a band if you want by a quick internet search.
      • If she looked it up on Wikipedia, surely she'd know that Green Day is not as "emo" as people think.
      • How would she even know what bands to look up? Based on the generic rock star look of Bill Weasley, Rowling isn't very up on youth culture, much less youth-culture stereotypes from another country. Stereotypes like "Hot Topic is for goth wannabes" can't simply be looked up because the "knowledge" isn't academic.
      • She probably just read the profiles of some of the suethors and went with that.
  • Note that Tara claims to have based her fic on the movies. Yet she talks about events that haven't even happened in the book. Clue?
  • I plugged the first part of the fanfic onto, and got JK Rowling.
  • This. That is all.

The story was written as a side effect from meds.
Tara suffers from insomnia and nightmares, so she takes sleeping medication. In the middle of the night she would go to her computer and type horrible fanfiction while still asleep. I mean seriously, something that bad couldn't have been consciously written.

Tara made a contract with Kyubey.
She wished to write the most well-known Harry Potter fanfic ever...and it came true in the most straightforward way possible. After making the wish, her typing became worse and worse no matter what she did to correct it, and the heaps of flame reviews she got threw her into despair. "Raven" is actually Kyubey. Tara turned into a Witch when around halfway through the fanfic, but her Witch form (Ebony) was too subconsciously attached to the fic and continued to write more of it.
  • Oddly enough, it's heavily implied that this is the case in the epilogue for the fan fic "Peulla Magi Mary Sue Magica".

"Tara Gillesbie" is the Internet name for Stephenie Meyer.
After having her books compared to the Harry Potter saga, she wrote a Harry Potter story to prove she can do it better.

Face it, that explains a lot.

  • A lot? How about everything?
    • Not really. Smeyer can, at the very least, use a spellchecker correctly. Tara can't.
      • No, her "editors" can use spellcheck. Who knows if she can use a computer correctly?
  • If nothing else, Meyer is a Mormon and Tara is a Satanist. Those sound a bit incompatible.
    • Not to mention that unless Meyer is a very different type of Mormon than this troper, most of the fic would be very uncomfortable/difficult to write. (This troper was pretty uncomfortable reading through all the "sex scenes" and swearing.) Granted, some Mormons swear more than others, but generally, a Precision F-Strike is rare, and a Cluster F-Bomb is even rarer. Hell, this troper is uncomfortable with swears as mild as "hell."
    • Tara is a Theme Park Version of a Satanist. Meyer thought if people thought she was a satanist they'd accept her works better than they would if she was a Mormon.
    • Assuming that Stephanie Meyer really is a Mormon, and not a secret Satanist in disguise. <cue ominous music>
  • Tara was her old pen-name before she converted into the Mormon religion. She left her "Goff" look behind but it was always in her heart. Her spelling improved after she completed her education... Then Twilight began. Just look at the Mary Sue character!!! The laughable gore of the final book and the sheer stupidity MUST be from the same author!!!
    • Twilight is older than My Immortal by a year.
      • It was a old story Meyers wrote and originally had on a different site but when it was taken down she copied it to where it became famous.
      • Then how did she know that Voldemort would have no nose in the films before the fourth movie came out?
      • She read the books and figured Volxemort would look cool without a nose.
    • You know, it could be just a troll fic by Stephanie. She targeted the Harry Potter franchise partly to irritate Rowling, and partly For the Lulz.

Tara Gilesbie and Kristen Cast are one and the same person.
Think about it.

"Tara Gillesbie" is an experimental female Ork Prototype.
It explains everything. EVERYTHING.
  • Eh? Are Orks even literate?
    • Tara isn't literate, either. If this was a test to gauge her intelligence, it would suddenly make sense; My Immortal is a story she wrote when she was asked by the scientists making her to write something. It's a creativity test. But the subject was soon euthanised, which is why we still see no female Orks.
      • Given how long My Immortal was, the subject wasn't euthanized that soon.
    • Perhaps she was dictating?
    • Of course! That's why she kept calling herself a "Goff!"
    • Hence why everything in the story's all wrong/exaggerated: Tara has no idea of what Earth culture (or Imperial culture) is like and probably got all her ideas from inaccurate sources— perhaps a recording or vox of some sort, or maybe a fragmented document on pre-Dark Age Terra. Or maybe, the attempts at gathering info by the Old Ones who created her for the creation of the Ork proto-female have been stymied by the eternal war around the galaxy, and so they had to reference other races' behavior for the creation of a female Ork psyche— although their references were very much outdated. Why did they choose the female teenage human as their reference point? I will never know.

Tara is Raven's alter-ego
She was created so Raven could go all out and be as stupid and Troll Crazy as she wanted without anyone knowing it was her. The hoax became more elaborate as she gained more popularity.

Think about it. The reason people believe that "Tara" can't possibly be a troll is that she and her friend Raven have so many accounts. Accounts that "Tara" rarely posts updates on. And when she does, it's brief and always the same stuff... as if she can only talk about "prepz" and "haturs" and "goffs" or else wangst about the hatedom following My Immortal. Her mood on MySpace is always "Goffik". Come on, people... she's had the exact same lame-o one-dimensional personality for three years now... The whole dyslexia thing was added later to make her spelling errors more believable and to make us less likely to call her out on the hoax in case she ''is'' real.

The feud, the shout outs, the (few) MySpace pictures, the whole "Tara totally ROCKS!" thing — it's all FAKE.

It's obvious that Raven is the true mastermind here. She just makes sure to take "Tara" with her wherever she goes...

  • "Tara" occasionally contradicts herself. On her second MySpace, she claimed that her profile picture was taken by Raven. On her first one, she claimed that the same picture was one she took herself.

Raven is the attention-seeker.
Think about it. Raven didn't get many reviews until Tara wrote My Immortal. To get attention she created another account as Tara Gilesbie and then wrote that atrocious blitzkrieg of spelling, grammar and obscenity, and then subtly pretended that she's Tara's editor. Obviously it made people go over to her stories and review them. My Immortal is really a publicity stunt. Proof: their likes, hatred of preps, even the characters are similar (Mary Sue). She couldn't write as Raven because then everyone would boo Raven and she couldn't continue writing under that name. What better idea that to create Tara, create a bomb and leave abruptly? Lots of authors write under two names.

Tara was the inspiration for Gilderoy Lockhart.
Rowling has admitted that Lockhart was based on a real person. Who fits the bill better than Tara does?
  • But... but it was written way after "Chamber of Secrets"... wait, of course! Timey-Wimey Ball! It all makes sense now! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!
    • Building on that theory, it's possible that Tara Made an unholy pact with the four trolls of to go back in time and give JK Rowling the inspiration to write Lockhart.
    • Or a more simple theory: Tara emailed the fanfiction to Rowling. Rowling was inspired by Ebony and wrote "Chamber of Secrets." Tara locked My Immortal away until a few years later.
      • The first one is more likely. The second doesn't hold up when you consider that characters like Lupin Loopin and Wormtail Snaketail don't show up until after CoS. So yeah, the Four Trolls must have given her the Ipod Time Machine.
    • Of course, Tara herself no doubt existed before writing the fanfic, so it's not too inconceivable that she just knew J. K. Rowling beforehand and was already stupid enough at that point to "impress" Rowling without the fanfic's aid... but your explanations are funnier.
      • Except Tara would have been about five years old when Chamber was written.
      • Precisely!
      • What if Tara had the first book read to her (was it published?) when she was young, and she tried to impress Rowling with her own sequel. Rowling didn't respond, and that sent Tara on a downward spiral of illiteracy and hating the HP series, hence later writing a terrible fanfic from a "fan" of the series (proving the fans were idiots!), all the while still subconsciously trying to impress Rowling - by taking the love of mythical species (?) (vampires, wizards, etc.) and dark magic, that sort of thing, only times ten.

Tara wrote My Immortal ''For the Evulz"
Tara wanted to drive a mass amount of people insane and cause chaos. But due to the fact that she had no power in the outside world, she decided to wreck havoc on the internet. And thus My Immortal was born.

Tara was a loser at high school.
Think about it. This fic is really a typical American high school drama - the nerds against the cool people. People like Britney represent the popular people, and Ebony represents the nonconformists. Tara couldn't just write a popular kid-nerd fic because she wanted to sound cool, despite being a loser. Hence, making Ebony's gang a bunch of goths. Unfortunately she made the Goths sound too cool and behave like preps. That was probably because My Immortal is her fantasy of how cool she would like to be, only she's Goffik.

Tara is a reincarnation of James Joyce.
She is superior in every which way to her predecessor. My Immortal is so brilliant that it crosses the critical limit of brilliance and reverts all the way back to puerile stupidity.
  • Disturbingly enough I can grasp her having written Finnegan's Wake, the previous owner for most insane troll literature.

Tara Gilesbie and Raven are split personalities
Exactly What It Says on the Tin. Neither of them are the original personality, but are continually fighting for dominance, surfacing one after the other. Tara surfaces and writes a chapter, and then Raven surfaces and edits it. Later in the fic, Tara gains more control, pushing Raven to the back of the mind for a while. This explains why the writing gets even worse, and why Tara and Raven allegedly become mad at each other, Gerard Way posters notwithstanding. The reason the writing was terrible to start with: Raven was never around long enough to actually edit worth a damn. Tara came back, assumed the chapter was edited, and submitted it. Tara and Raven's supposed absences are one or more additional personalities surfacing, hence why Tara seems to go to England about three times over the course of the last few chapters. Somewhere in the recesses of this dark, goffik mind, there is a personality that enjoys Buffy, Star Wars, Back to the Future, LotR, and Harry Potter. Bits and pieces of this personality seep into Tara's writing, hence the numerous references. Tara genuinely considers herself a goff, but is never around long enough to experience much in the way of goffness, therefore is quite confused on what exactly is goff, and has a very shallow understanding of the goff things she actually knows about. As for how the base person (let's call her "Echo") has the time to manage all these personalities, see above re: Time Lord. Raven on the other hand is a seemingly normal girl with some goffik tendencies who wishes she were popular. She couldn't imagine all this crap as Raven, being ashamed of all the crappy grammar and sex scenes. Hence Tara was created. Then there's the third personality. It's been speculated that the hacker in chapter 39 is really Tara. It is her 3rd alter-ego. This alter-ego is a rational funny person who laughs at the ridiculous goffikness of the other 2 personalities.

Tara might be working on fan fiction again soon.
Check out her user page:

Read the top line (important part reprinted here):

  • "i will try 2 post a new fanfik maybe derring da summer"

Don't get your hopes too high (or for others, you can breathe a sigh of relief):

  • "but i probebly wont koz all od u r such idiotz"

What will this new story be about? Will it end the previous story? I don't know, but I think this line might answer my question:

  • "EVRY 1 C NEW MOON!!1"

Be afraid. Be very afraid...

  • The ED page claims to have contacted Gillespie and asserts that the original Bloodyrists 666 account has been hacked, but she still has plans to continue.
    • Can you provide a link or tell me where I can find this ED page? I do not even know what is is let alone how to get there.
      • Encyclopedia Dramatica - visit at your own risk.

  • ——-I know my opinion doesn't matter that much because I'm just an Anon, but I believe that My Immortal is a genuine fic, or was at first. Now the bloodyrists bitch implies she might try 2 post a new fanfik (but probebly wont)? I don't buy it. By that, I mean I don't buy the idea of it being her. Tara Gilesbie, as she is called, wrote My Immortal when? 2006? Let's put that in perspective, ladies and gentlemen. 2006 was four years ago. Nearly half a decade has passed. People change a lot in even a single year. Now, four of them have gone by, and we're supposed to believe that Tara hasn't changed at all? Her profile has been updated (as mentioned above), and she's still the English language-murdering dumbass that she was when she first wrote My Immortal? I believe that My Immortal is mostly genuine - I can buy the idea of an extremely immature, arrogant, and deluded teenage girl writing a story that horrible. People do stupid things when they're young, and especially on the internet. But I can't buy the idea of her being just as stupid four years later. Even her friend Raven hasn't updated her profile since 2005. Tara Gilesbie is gone. Whoever has control of her account now is a fucking poser.
    • Also, it has been said on Raven's account someone, possibly Tara, had commited suicide. Whereas that is true or not, it may be an indicator of how true this new account is.
      • The account where 'Raven' said that Tara had committed suicide is an admitted fake.
    • Also, it's most likely Tara's a troll to begin with. One of her Favorite Authors on FF is none other than XXXmidnitegoffXXX who parodied My Immortal, made a fake sequel, and intentionally makes badfics for fun. Not the kind of person a shallow person like "Tara" would like.
      • That can be rationalized, however, if you're like the guy who wrote the paragraph above, and believe that Tara's account now is in somebody else's hands.
      • You don't even need to go that far. Someone above proposed that Tara wasn't a troll at first, but became one later on after realizing how bloody-awful the story was. With similar reasoning, it could be suggested that Tara is a troll now, still has her account, and after she stopped writing MI, is now just messing with people by editing her account information (and may actually be considering writing a new story just for the evulz).
    • This site's founder claims to know the real Tara, and answers that she was legitimate.
    • Think about this: If Tara wasn't a troll, why did she keep writing? By about chapter twenty if not earlier, it was obvious that she would only get mountains of flame reviews. Why would she keep going if she didn't get off on being flamed? When most newbie authors discover no one likes their story, they abandon or delete it — they certainly don't pound out thirty more chapters of the same drivel. If Tara was writing the story only for herself, she could have kept writing it on her home computer and stopped posting it. The only reason to keep posting it would be because she wanted the flames.
      • Because Tara was stupid, arrogant, and stubborn - none of which are in short supply on internet young people.
      • Yes, but stupidity doesn't eliminate the need for a motive. An idiot doesn't walk into open traffic just because it's stupid. There has to be something shiny on the other side of the street.
      • The shiny thing on the other end of the street is simply the end in Tara having her story written and posted online. Have you really never encountered anyone on the internet who was doing something stupid that offended others, but kept doing it anyway and defended it even to the point of pretending to have support? I have, and literally the only differences between those cases and this (besides the format) is that My Immortal lasted slightly longer than average and is pretty funny. Sure, there is no doubt a more specific motive than "its own sake", but that motive is impossible for the internet to know (especially now that a good six or different people have come out claiming to be Tara/the perpetrator or to have known Tara).
      • "Have you really never encountered anyone on the internet who was doing something stupid that offended others, but kept doing it anyway and defended it even to the point of pretending to have support?" Yes, those people are called "trolls".
      • If that's the case, then the side which contends that Tara did not legitly write the story needs to find a word for her other than "troll" since that description is completely compatible with her legitly writing it.
      • I was trying to say that you're only comparing Tara to people who were probably also trolling. Maybe some people like that are for real, especially if they have some kind of political or religious ax to grind. They don't care that they're being flamed because they have the "higher purpose" of proving they're right. Tara didn't have a point to prove, unless it was "preps suck". And even then, she didn't treat it like a point she wanted to prove anyway. She just used it as an all-purpose shut down.
      • "Yes, those people are called trolls." That description does not describe a troll; it misses the essential element of doing something for the sole purpose of getting a rise out of others. If Tara meets the description above, that does not make her a troll. If she meets that description and her motive is "to get a rise out of others", that would make her a troll. If she isn't a troll, her motive isn't as hard to grasp as you're making it sound. Who needs more motive than genuinely thinking their work is brilliant and that they're God's (or Satan's, I guess, if you're Tara) gift to readers everywhere? If Tara's legit, she's just too arrogant to see that her writing is horrible, even in the face of astounding evidence. It really is that simple.

Tara is really an insane AI.
She was created to make great works of fiction but went rampant and wrote this in an attempt to become a god by brown noting everyone on the planet.
  • When she went rampant, she lost some of her vocabulary for real: the technical one. The badly written sex scenes actually are attempts to fix her:
Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what
refers to a diagnostic plug and a diagnostic port, for example.

Tara is Gerard Way himself.
Gerard Way wrote this to mock his overzealous fans without experiencing a public backlash. He has come out against the kind of snobbery Ebony epitomizes ("If for one minute you think you're better than a sixteen year old girl in a Green Day T-shirt, you are sorely mistaken. Remember the first time you went to a show and saw your favorite band. You wore their shirt, and sang every word. You didn't know anything about scene politics, haircuts, or what was cool. All you knew was that this music made you feel different from anyone you shared a locker with. Someone finally understood you. This is what music is about.") and, for the nail in the coffin, he's a writer.
  • That probably just nails another coffin. What writer would write that?

Tara is part of a Comic Trio
Tara is the Navigator, deluslionally convinced that her fanfiction is good, and determined to put it up. Raven is the idiot (although she seems to be at least a bit smarter than Tara), encouraging Tara and enabling her. The reviewers are a collective Only Sane Man, who try their best to get that stupid thing off, but are not listened to by Tara.

Tara is a Vogon.
She just went into prose instead of poetry.

Tara is actually Daniel Radcliffe.
Radcliffe has admitted that he writes fan fiction. Maybe My Immortal is a response to all the bad HP fics he's seen.
  • Who better than Harry Potter himself to write a bad Harry Potter fic? The answer is JK Rowling, but the guy who has spent the last decade as Harry is the 2nd best person for the job.

Tara is a Goth.
She figured out that simply marching into cities with a Barbarian horde doesn't work anymore, so she went about writing the worst fanfiction ever and let civilization destroy itself.
  • Alternately, she's the other kind of Goth, and actually knows about the roots of the scene. In chapter 28, there's the line "Red vevlet lined da blak box", which is almost a direct quote from "Bela Lugosi's Dead" by Bauhaus. Since this was written without a "geddit," it seems likely that this was a stealth Shout-Out to any "actual" goths who might be reading.

Tara Gilesbie is a troper
Let's evidenced by her name and her naming a character Willow, she is a Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan. And to know and parody (assuming this is a parody) every cliche in the book so masterfully, she'd have to be Genre Savvy. It just makes sense.

The troper who said Tara Gilesbie is a troper is Tara.

The troper who said the troper who said Tara Gilesbie is a troper is Tara.

The troper who said that the troper who said that the troper who said said Tara Gilesbie is a-THONK!!!.
We apologise for the previous WMG, the troper responible has been restrained and sedated.
  • Was it Tara?
    • Unfortunately, no.We are working on restraining and sedating her, but at the moment, we cant find her.If you have any infor mation on her current whereabouts, please call ███-███-████
      • I think she might be somewhere in the Atlantic.
      • You cannot find her. She is in hiding, where the Internet cannot find her. She has no wi-fi in her home, and she disguises herself when in the range of those who post online. She knows that the internet would take bloody revenge, so she disappeared...forever.

The tropers responsible for the previous four guesses have been sacked.
Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretti nasti...

The troper who sacked the tropers responsible for the previous four guesses WAS Tara. They too, have been sacked.

We apologize for the inconvenience. The troper responsible for sacking the tropers responsible for the previous four guesses has been sacked.

The two primary interpretations of Tara's true nature are too extreme to be true.
Why does everyone seem to think that Tara is either a Magnificent Bastard (or not so magnificent) Troll or an epic dumbass who is permanently 13-15 years old and will always be an emo Goth-wannabe. A considerable chunk of this story's fanbase points to the suspiciously specific spelling/word mistakes (like how Loopin masticates and Dumblydum constipates Professor Snoop's camera, et cetera) and the fact that said mistakes get worse over time as evidence that there's no way she didn't do that intentionally, therefore Tara must be a troll. Has no one considered that it's entirely plausible that the Rouge Anglesof Satin are intentional and she's legitimate? Consider this: Tara has shitty spelling and grammar skills, and the story is far from enjoyable to read, even with her friend Raven picking up the slack. Tara takes flak for this, and that pisses her off, even though her reviewers are right to complain about it. The truth is that when Tara actually wants to, she can spell a lot better than she ends up doing, because she doesn't think it's nearly as important as it is. So when the flamers flame her over her bad spelling, she takes it as a personal affront to her style of writing, which is to write whatever the hell she wants, whether anyone else likes it be damned. So Tara figures that when she lets her spelling really deteriorate in later chapters and randomly uses completely wrong words for things (like "eructation"), she's sticking it to the flamers because in her mind, they're taking this spelling crap far too seriously. Like most self-righteous teenage idiots, she thinks she's being really clever and boldly "rebelling" against the "mainstream" by deliberately not giving a crap about their values about spelling and grammar. In short, half of the spelling, grammar, and naming errors are Tara deliberately not caring in order to fuck with her readers for being so stuck-up and preppy, and the other half is her throwing in random bullshit because she thinks her terrible puns (Harry's Dogfather Serious Blak), corruptions of established names (Filth and Mr. Norris, almost all recurring characters having goofy misspellings like Dumblydum and the Bark Lord Voldemprt, St. Mango's and Azerbaijan), deliberate failure to get established facts within the "Potterverse" right (like the magic school being in England instead of Scotland and it not taking place in the 1990s), and random pop culture references (Morti McFly, Darth Valer, Tom Anderson, Tom Bombadil, the Gothic 1980 Beetles poster that Ebony sees in the past) are funny or clever, while in reality they are anything but intellectually stimulating, and if they're funny, they're funny for the wrong reasons.

Also, the pop culture references themselves? Approximately no one in the world is pretending that Tara ever knew the first thing about being Gothic, and since her author notes indicate that at the time of writing, she, like Ebony, only saw things in terms of Gothicness or preppiness, it seems logical that anything Tara saw, she put into those categories. Extrapolated, it can be theorized that Tara has seen (or at least heard of, since she seems to know next to nothing in particular about the Potter series) Back to the Future, Star Wars, The Matrix, the Lord of the Rings books (this may be a stretch, but she only needs to have heard of "Tom Bombadil" once in order to be able to plausibly use his name) and seen something that she likes (therefore making it Gothic and worth mentioning in her eyes). Yes, it is immensely stupid and makes no real sense that a smart person would do, but who here is pretending that Tara was smart? It synchronizes with the fact that she fits her own definition of "poser" like a glove perfectly.

Finally, it has more recently been proposed that since Tara added XXXmidnitegoffXXX (a genuine troll who has parodied her work) to her favorite authors list on, she can't have written My Immortal seriously. This doesn't prove jack in actuality. Tara couldn't have possibly favored midnitegoff less than a year or so after she inexplicably stopped adding chapters. What people don't consider is that Tara is a human being who changes over time. It's quite plausible that Tara ended up taking a year off from her story, and by the time she got around to looking at it again, she had actually matured - maybe not a lot, but just enough to see the horror of the story that she had made. So, knowing how much time she had wasted on it, Tara would not go back to My Immortal. She observed the strange fandom that formed around her story, but didn't go much further than that. During this time, she added midnitegoff to her favorite authors list. Or hell, maybe Tara never went back to her story, and her account was hacked and now belongs to someone else and Tara doesn't give a damn. Either way, Tara no longer cares about My Immortal. Look at it this way: if you had written something as fuck-awful as My Immortal in your youth, and then grown a few years and looked back at it, would you want to continue that? I sure as hell wouldn't. So Tara decided to get on with her life and left her terrible story in the dead past.

I know that this theory banks on a lot of ifs, but, really, none of them are implausible, and it does take into account the fact that Tara is a human being who changes over time, something that many simply don't think about. True, the odds of all of these possibilities all coming together into one are very low, but stranger things have happened in the world. In the end, My Immortal was the product of the right girl in the wrong place.

  • Good theory I suppose. But most of us are just having fun with the guessing game.

Tara Gilesbie is a medium.
My Immortal is the Dying Dream of a gothic HP fanatic named Way, that was lost in translation.
  • I've been getting spam from a psychic reading; the author was called Tara Medium! A possible hint?

Tara is an attention whore.
Of the, "even bad attention is good type." She wanted to make sure people would keep talking about her story, so she just escalated the badness of it.
  • This is what's called "being a troll".

Tara is a muggle who stumbled across Hogwarts.
She Went Mad From The Revelation and tried to inform the muggle world of what she saw. Unfortunately, the first place she staggered into was a Hot Topic store, which greatly skewed her memories of the place. She also suffered a head injury on her way back home, which led to the odd grammar.
  • In one of the Harry Potter books, it is mentioned that Hogwarts is guarded by spells so that muggles don't see Hogwarts where it should be; they just see a junk yard with over 9000 "keep out" signs.

The "hacker" is Tara, possibly acting out of boredom.
Turns out it's a troll fic after all, and after 38 chapters of writing essentially the same ridiculous thing over and over again, the author decides to take a different approach for a bit. Could explain why the hacker only wrote one chapter, and then uploaded two of Tara's originals; why not do more damage than that?
  • This theory is already listed near the top of the page.

The fic was written by Amy Lee.
Come ON, guys, the damn thing is named after one of her songs! Lee (or someone else in the band) wrote it under the idea that any publicity=good publicity, and associating themselves with a So Bad, It's Good fanfiction can only help. Alternatively, Amy Lee also collaborated with Gerard Way or Rowling herself.

Britney is an Author Avatar.
Think about it. She's Tara's second avatar. She hates herself and created Britney to punish the good side of her she always hated. "Britney" is just a normal, unremarkable girl, what Tara probably is in real life. She (Tara) bundled her up with everything she hates to justify her punishment.

Tara is Uwe Boll.
Think about it. He wanted to write fanfic, but also test out his acting ability. so he created the whole Tara character. But he was serious when he wrote this, and his reactions towards haters is his reaction to people not liking his work.

Tara is the CEO of the Coca-Cola company and My Immortal is a subliminal Coca-Cola advertisement disguised as a fanfic.
Yes... And I have proof...Multiple times in the story does tara make "spelling mistakes" that allude to said soda. for example:
  • "Vampire got out his blak invincibility coke." -
  • "Dracola used to be called Navel but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires."
  • "I put on my Invisibility coke - (a side note on the "invisibility coke": Perhaps this should be taken literaly. Because the "cloak" did not work. "Mr. Norris" found them and actually made notice of the cloak/coke before even noticing the people under it. Perhaps the "invisibility coke" is actualy a gigantic bottle of coke, and therefore ineffective when hiding Enoby and Draco.)
    • Alternatively, "invisibility coke" is a secret variety of coke that makes you invisible if you drink it.

Now it has been proven that seeing somthing like the word "coke" will make you want to drink a coke. (And this troper actualy did pour himself a glass of coke after reading those sentences.) Perhaps these messages were put in the story on purpose.

  • This one actually does make some sense. When the LRM Reading group on Youtube got to the part when the guy's name is spelled "Dracola", it became a running gag in their recordings to advertise for coke.
  • I, for one, find the idea of people hiding behind giant bottles of coke to be hilarious, and completely sealed the deal for her to believe this WMG. Great, now I crave soda.

Tara Gilesbie is really Barack Obama.
When he's not being a politician, Obama likes to write bad fanfiction For the Lulz. This is made somewhat probable by the fact that he is clearly a nerd.
  • Where was anyone anywhere ever said anything close to that? Reference your source, please.

XXXmidnitegoffXXX really is Tara.
XXXmidnitegoffXXX writes intentional badfics and did one of the "fake" My Immortal sequels, but is listed by Tara as one of her favorite authors. Doesn't it seem somewhat plausible that the same person ran both accounts?

Tite Kubo wrote My Immortal.
Think about it; he has enough fun trolling his own fandom as is. He figured that messing with another one might be even better.

Tara will become Stephenie Meyer.
Through time travel of course. Her most well-known novel? It is an "improvement"

Tara's Account Got Hacked by Several Trolls Before the Chapter 39 Hack
It makes perfect sense. Some troll was looking for something to hijack. He picks a random one, and chooses My Immortal. Then another one comes along, and another, and another and so on and so forth, until we finally have the awfulness we have here. Each person hacking it didn't realize somebody hacked it before them. This would explain the changes in styles from chapter to chapter.

Tara is a Guy In Real Life
The bizarre lines like as referenced in the characters page, with "he put his boy's thingy in mine" or "he put his throbbing you-know-what in my tool" or "my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko" suggests something odd. "Tara" really can't be that bad in writing a fan fiction, and the whole thing is an elaborate plot pulled by a troll. Eventually, the troll, realizing the prank had gone on long enough, slipped away.
  • Uh, you have noticed the theory that this is a Troll Fic is brought up a lot, right? I suppose Tara could be male if "she" were a troll, but that doesn't mean "she" is either.
    • My WMG was mostly about Tara being a Guy In Real Life than a troller.
      • We've got alot of those theories too, man you are way behind on your theories.
  • For what it's worth, I plugged the entire text of My Immortal into Gender Guesser and it thinks the author is female.

This fic was written by Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris must have thought one day if he could write something so heinous and even he couldn't read. Since he's Chuck Norris, he wrote the fic without reading it. And then, he let the fic to the humanity.
  • Mr. Norris is the self-insert.

A third individual was in on the story.
The person who posted the fic on the blog page after took it down is skilled in the English language, moreso than either Tara or her co-writer Raven. Also, this person refers to both of them in the third person, while referring to him or herself in the first person. Furthermore, this person seems to be aware of which parts of the story were co-written by "Raven" and which parts were not, suggesting familiarity with the creation of the story.
  • Except being good at English and talking in the first person are not uncommon, and Raven's help is common knowledge.

Tara is Nyarlathotep.
"She" wrote My Immortal to screw with human beings and entertain herself. Goes well with the fic being a Brown Note.

Tara is Haruhi.
We know what happens when Haruhi makes a movie: it's disjointed, poorly edited, and has no coherent plot. What would happen if she were to write a piece of Harry Potter fanfiction? It would look a lot like My Immortal. The "goffick" bits come from Haruhi having some contact with the Elegant Gothic Lolita community and thinking it was so moe.

Tara is an advertiser for a clothing store competing against Hot Topic
The whole fic is an elaborate mudslinging campaign agaist Hot Topic, designed to make people think their customers are stupid, shallow, and horrendous at spelling and writing in general.

My Immortal has no author.
All the bad fanfic on the Internet gathered energy from their authors, which pooled in and came to life. The monstrosity seized upon the largest fandom at the time, and subsequently wrote itself. Thus was born My Immortal. Tara Gilesbie does not exist.

"Tara" is an A-10 Thunderbolt.

Thus the reason why guns exist in the Potterverse, and they can seemingly hold a gazillion bullets that can be sprayed rapidly. It simply wanted to project its GAU-8 Avenger into the world of the fanfic. It also subconsciously found ways to project flying things into the fic, such as Draco's flying car and the broomsticks TaEnony and Draako pull out of their asses to flee from Volxemprxt's lair with. It doesn't know about the magic or the realities of the Potterverse, but it knows guns and warfare. The sex scenes are actually referring to refueling, be it midair or on the ground - the instant orgasm is the joy of having more fuel to burn.

The A-10 took the name "Tara Gilesbie" from its pilot's daughter, a twelve-year-old Potterhead who also loved listening to Marilyn Manson, My Chemical Romance and Good Charlotte. This deployed airman had a poor understanding of his daughter's interests, and did an even poorer job explaining them to his comrades - this is what the aircraft overheard, and wrote My Immortal based on this warped perception. Ebony's depression mirrors the real Tara's - her dad was half a world away with a possibility of never coming back, and Airman Gilespie could have mentioned a fear of his bipolar daughter succumbing to depression were he to die. "Raven" could be a fellow pilot, or a superior officer - anyone Airman Gilespie could have had a falling out with or a serious beef towards.

Now, here's where this gets depressing. The last chapter's Author's Note has "omfg im leeving dubya pretty soon kant wait!!! Diz wil prolly be da last chaptah until I kum bak." The A-10 was going to overfly Dubai (dubya) at some point during its mission that morning. This is the last chapter until it comes back...except the plane never returned. Airman Gilespie was killed in action when his Thunderbolt was shot down, and the A-10 itself obliterated before it could continue the fanfic.

English isn't her first language.

Tara is actually Valeria Lukyanova.
Valeria used to be an edgy goth, and in the beginning of her interview video with Vice she mentions Tara to be one of her spiritual names. Combine that with the fact that she believe in magic and her lack of knowledge of the English language and you're got a good candidate for the true identity of Tara.

Raven/Jenny was the hacker.
As a friend and the editor, she would have access to Tara's computer (and files) and would probably know (if not the password) then where to find it. It is possible that Tara was even signed into at the time (it does have a 'Stay Logged In For Three Days' option) so Raven/Jenny would just need access to the computer.

Tara is friends with Cori Falls.
Just take a look at their writing styles. OK, Cori's grammar and spelling are way better than Tara's, but apart from that, they both have similar styles.

The My Immortal rehost site was created by Tara.
This theory assumes Tara is a troll. After her story got deleted from, she rehosted it herself, pretending to be one of her own lulz-loving "fans". The site even includes a link to a petition to get My Immortal put back on for crying out loud.

My Immortal was written by either Megami 33 or KrisRix. Maybe both.
Tara comes off as a sort of proto-Abridged!Raye from Sailor Moon Abridged. She hasn't perfected the No Indoor Voice yet, but is taking steps towards "MUST! PRAY! TO! SATAAAAN!" and has perfected the love of pain and violence. Come to think of it, Ebony's black, waist length hair (which Sailor Mars/Hino Rei/Raye has in canon) is tinted with purple and red- the colors of Sailor Mars' fuku.

Tara is Kara of the Star Trek episode "Spock's Brain".
The woman who gave us the immortal line "Brain and brain, what is brain?!" is certainly dumb enough to write this and the names are so close. And we know she spells her name wrong, so maybe every time she wrote "Tara" she meant to say "Kara". Kara has seen the Harry Potter films because the Eymorg picked up TV broadcasts of them. The signal forms of the first four movies have only just reached Sigma Draconis VI by 2268, which is why Kara thinks the fifth movie is about to come out. "Raven" is the name of the person whose brain formed the original Controller. Exposure to My Immortal was what caused the original Controller to be "finished". When Kara absorbed knowledge from the Teacher to get Spock's brain, she happened to be logged into her fanfiction account. After retrieving the brain, she went to her computer, didn't think the story could be hers because she remembered that story being brilliant, concluded that she must have hacked into some idiot's account, and wrote the hacker chapter. After the knowledge faded from her brain, she went back to her account and, not remembering she had written the hacker chapter, continued writing as normal. My Immortal ended shortly thereafter when Captain Kirk forced them to abandon the Eymorg complex.

Tara is actually Lil' J, a.k.a. LILSHOWSTOPPA from the infamous youtube video "ME TELLIN YOU MOTHA FUCKERS OFF"
You know, THIS video? Come on. Think about it. The demeanor just... fits, what with the horrible vocabulary and strong tendency to curse out and threaten those who criticize her. This was what Tara was like in real life; she was a white "gangstuh" (I wont use the word "wigger" because the Moral Guardians will get on to me). However, unbeknownst to those around her, Tara actually had a secret desire: a desire to be goffik. But sadly, do to the cruel world we live in, she had no doubt that she would've lost all her "gangstuh" friends if she all of a sudden became a goff and revealed her love for MCR, GC, Evanescence, and the like. The only person she knew in the same situation was Jenny (a.k.a. Raven), who she would have secret Gerard Way worshipping parties with. One day though, she came up with a brilliant idea: Write a fanfic for her favorite book/film series that would feature a goffik protaganist who would also be her Author Avatar/Surrogate, and employ Jenny "Raven" as the "editor" of said fanfic. Little did Tara know just how horribly wrong horribly right things would go.... Also, LILSHOWSTOPPA posted her video in Feb 2007, at which point in time My Immortal was still being published and, funnily enough, both Tara and LILSHOWSTOPPA stopped (verifiably) updating around the same time. Maybe Tara gave up on the internet after the second hacking locked her out of her FF account? For further proof, I present this line as evidence:

"Then swooped he [Hargrid] in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent."

  • Alternatively, Tara and LILSHOWSTOPPA are the same troll.

Tara's account was really a prank run by staff.
Someone working for read through all the bad slash, authors who didn't care for proper spelling and grammar, unrealistic lemons, and emo-wannabes. So they decided that as a sort of Take That!, they would write a Stealth Parody to beat the badfic authors at their own game. And seeing how My Immortal supposedly got an abnormal amount of reports, you'd think that the account itself would have been deleted, but it wasn't because they had protected the account, but not the story. Also, the hacked chapter was really a reference to all the reported badfics, especially with the " hell" line. And the real reason most rip-offs were deleted is because the trolls spread around the site like wildfire, which was the effect the person didn't want because the story was really to teach people a lesson. It's a stretch, but not impossible.
  • Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't run a large purge against bad fanfiction after My Immortal? Perhaps they were trying to create some evidence?

The editor is to blame.

  • Tara is actually a brilliant author who wrote a Fanfic that was the epitome of So Cool, It's Awesome. Her editor hijacked the brilliant fanfic and turned it into the parody we're reading now. For some reason.

Tara is somehow related to CWC, creator of Sonichu

Tara's gotten saner.
  • Seriously. Just check her Twitter. She even insists that the story was a satire.
    • I believe she also refers to Tara in the third person when she says that. Hence, your theory is either inverted and only her grammar has improved with the rest of her mind spiraling into multiple personality madness, or that isn't her.
      • Doesn't prove anything; this would hardly be the first time someone on the internets has pretended to be Tara/know her IRL.

Tara is a Time Lord
  • Well, why not?

Tara and Jenny (assuming they are not fictional) come from relatively rich families.
How else would they be able to go on these vacations to England and Transylvania?

Tara is nigel molesworths cousin.
  • any fule kno.

Tara was mentally disabled.
  • She had some kind of condition which affected her ability to read and write, and she was bullied in school because of it. So she turned away from the world and went "goffik", with Raven being one of her only friends. Eventually, after she and Raven had the fight, she felt even more alone. The depression spiraled until she was Driven to Suicide.
    • Not likely — don't forget that she and Raven made up by chapter 30 or so.

Tara comes from a conservative/religious family.
Ergo, her gothic/satanist fantasy is one by-product of family drama that virtually always accompanies a growing, rebellious teenager.

Two guys trolled us.
Here's the confession in all its glory.
  • Well, if this is true, then this guy is the "real" version of Raven. I mean, he says he got locked out after chapter 15, and chapter 16 is the one in which Tara declared she had fallen out with Raven.
    • What is this, the fourth time somebody claiming to be Tara, Raven, or another insider has shown up with a story? Yeah, but there's totally a chance it's true this time.
  • Now, for the next order of business: hunting down the other guy.
Tera is bthe emapra.
Tara isn't goth, she's just a poser.
To a real goth, any sex appeal inherent to the goth aesthetic is merely incidental to its main purpose. For Tara, though, the sex appeal is the whole point. She's no different from a prep who dresses up like a goth because she thinks its cute.
Tara is either the future Jane Austen of our decade, either a very young writer.
If Tara was thirteen, was a dreamy author, and had had to cope with bullying and restrictive parents who forbid her to really become who she wanted to be, a glamorous gothic girl, it would make sense that, despite her vivid imagination, she would be overwhelmed by her emotions and would have overlooked the reader's feelings of aggression towards a character that insults these not of the same social circle, and not be caring for grammar. Thus, she writing about a character that is morally ambiguous (but some kind of a Byronic Hero) and trying her best to make it fascinating through glamorizing and not care about value dissonance.If Tara is a young authoress and is even much more skilled, she could try to parody our modern literature and fanfiction, trying to point out all that is bad in it (disregard for the original's rules, lack of interest for the deepest part of the stories and Fire Wars). Jane Austen did it with juvenilia. She also used it in later works.
Tara is a USUK shipper
Some of her author's notes have her randomly yelling "USUK!!!!!1", which people tend to interpret as her telling her flamers that they suck, but perhaps she's actually referring to the ship name? I mean, she's already made it clear that she finds gay guys hot, and the fact that she's written Draco and Vampire as having been in some sort of relationship means that she's no stranger to shipping. And, although Hetalia isn't 'goffik' in the least, Tara does some to have an affinity of sorts for Japanese culture (or... her interpretation of it...) and so it's not that much of a stretch that she'd be into manga.

Tara is actually an intelligent, well-informed person.
Despite the abysmal quality of the characters and plot, there's numerous evidence for this theory. Why are all the funny or dirty malapropisms spelt correctly? "Masturbate" is spelt as "masticate" which is a pretty advanced word for a 13-year-old to use. Sirius' name is spelt alternately as Sodomize, Socrates and Spartacus. The last two names are not the sort of names a typical teenager would come up with. Therefore Tara must be reasonably well-read in some ancient history. McGonagall's insults are actually better than the average insult: "You mediocre dunces," "horny simpletons," the sort of things you would see in older novels a few decades ago. Similarly, the "albastard hand" is meant to be alabaster hand, which is a sort of purple prose seen in older novels, possibly the classics. To have read all these would require a better than average intelligence. Why then is the story so immature? Because Tara is a child prodigy with extensive reading but the emotions of a child.
  • Alternately, Tara was bullied at school and retreated into books, where she got her vocabulary. She decided to write badly so that she would look cool and not nerdy. Needless to say, it didn't work.
    • Well, if you believe this guy's confession, Tara— or rather, Todd— actually was bullied in school, and he created "Tara" as a kind of lightning rod to attract people's bad attention away from him.
    • Hmm, unlikely. The style and sentiments expressed in My Immortal are definitely the work of a teen age girl. The social battle between goffs and preps and the redundant clothing descriptions for example.

Tara "Gilesbie" is actually Tara Strong, suffering from Multiple Personality Disorder due to playing so many different voice roles
And her "friend" "Raven" is actually a heavily Flanderized version of the Teen Titans character portrayed by Ms. Strong, who has manifested as one of her many personalities born of getting too deep into her voice acting roles (further evidence of which is contained w/in this clip). After all, she does have a history of trolling people w/ her Twitter account (for example, the entire BB/Raven shipper clique, which was actually "Bubbles" saying the two would make a legitimately cute couple). And this is her most magnificent troll work of them all, something designed to express the insanity that comes from having to remember which ten-year-old boy she's supposed to be portraying that week. And the "hacks"? That was "Batgirl", trying to save the world from the insanity wrought by Ms. Strong and "Raven" before the end could be published and bring forth the end of days, c/o "Trigon".

Tara was in love with Raven.
Tara is obviously familiar with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, since she referenced it at one point. Tara wrote Raven into My Immortal under the name of "Willow". In Buffy, what kind of relationship did Tara have with Willow? That's right, they were dating.

Tara is a resurrected Oscar Wilde
Only he Came Back Wrong, so they got in Edgar Allan Poe (code name: "Raven") as a beta reader ... which went even worse, because he wanted to make it one of his trademark gothic stories, but came back with a bit of a twisted idea of what "gothic" was. Wilde developed a bit of an unrequited crush on Poe, thus all the Tara/Raven subtext (see above WMG) in the A Ns, but when he tried to tell him, they fell out - that massive breakup wasn't over a sweater. Neither was making up. Evidence, at least for the Oscar Wilde bit:
  • Ebony is a badly disguised male protagonist ("kinda like an erection only I'm a girl so I don't get one", "he put his boy's thingy into mine"... need I say more?) - probably Wilde wanted to avoid the whole homosexuality thing at first
  • "don't u fik gay guyz r lik so hot", later amended to "bi guys"
  • Enoby is bi - so was Oscar Wilde
  • Parts of My Immortal are (slightly) reminiscent of The Picture of Dorian Gray:
    • The preface of the book states that "Those who find ugly meanings in beauty are corrupt without being charming." Every single author's note in My Immortal states that "if u flam ur a prep", which is a pretty similar sentiment, if infinitely more bluntly put
    • The protagonist rejects the love of their life, then does absolutely nothing while said love goes on to commit suicide. Draco gets better, though
    • An immortal character with a broken soul could be healed through true love - Dorian Gray thinks so about himself, Professor Trevolry about Voldemint
    • Lord Henry smokes "opium-tainted cigarettes". Ebondy "smoke[s] cigarettes and drugs"
    • Dorian, at the beginning of the story, is described as "some brainless, beautiful creature". What do you think Enony is?
    • There is a whole chapter of the book devoted to the shinies Dorian gets. Also, Sibyl gets some costume porn. There are whole paragraphs of My Immortal devoted to the stuff Evony wears.
    • People are trying to imitate Dorian's style. People are trying to imitate Ebory, and she calls them posers.
    • Characters are described by comparison with what would be household names for the target audience: Dorian's mother had a "Lady Hamilton face", "[Darko/Vrompire/Satan] lookd just lik [Gerard/Mikey Way/Billy Joel]
  • There's now a short story about this one.
Tara is a fan of animutation
  • One part of the author's notes has her asking "Raven" to give her her sweater back. One can assume that if Raven failed to do so, Tara would play the guitar.

Tara is the lovechild of Stephenie Meyer and either Jason Friedberg or Aaron Seltzer

Tara is the Simurgh
  • After all, Genre Savvy Worm readers can tell you: Rule 1: Never underestimate the Simurgh. Rule 2: You are underestimating the Simurgh. We know the Simurgh wants to cause conflict. So, it left a Brown Note perfectly designed to cause chaos, conflict, and destruction, that would persist and take effect independantly of its source, and could be promulgated across all worlds.
    • The initial results, Scion's rampage and death, were so impressive, that the Simurgh did the work to create a piece of Tinker Tech that spread the story across the internet across every reality.

Tara was a mentally-ill teenager who is now dead.
Warning, grim theory ahead.

Tara really was serious about "My Immortal." She thought the story was great. She fancied herself a "goth." She really did go to a "hospital" after cutting herself, and her account really did get hacked. Her obsession with her story and getting positive reviews were symptoms of whatever illness she had, along with her refusal to use spellcheck.

It is said that Tara left for a trip to England, and never returned to finish her story.

On that trip, she wound up doing something very dangerous, that a sane person would know not to do. She wandered into an alley, or tried hitchhiking, or something along those lines, and wound up getting murdered. Alternatively, she never had any trip to England, except in her own mind, and wound up committing suicide.

Recall that a teenager once committed suicide because his favorite Naruto character died, and it is suddenly not so far-fetched to think that, maybe, Tara was for real.

  • Didn't she keep saying that she was cutting herself? Increasing psychological stress or blood loss might explain the decreasing legibility of the story, and with the constant references to self-harm...Jesus. It's not inconceivable that Tara, assuming "Tara" is real, eventually killed herself.

Tara is really George W. Bush.
And My Immortal was his attempt to distract everyone from his presidential policies, which many people at the time were criticizing.

Tara Gilesbie is actually Alessa Gillespie.
...and My Immortal is her way of punishing the world for its sins.

No matter what happens, it will never be possible to know who "Tara" really is.
Given the length of time since the publication of My Immortal and the number of people who have come forward claiming to be or know Tara, it's probably going to remain impossible to know who the author really was or if she was sincere.

The author of what is arguably the worst fanfic in the history of bad fanfic was almost certainly either a young adolescent who now understands their mistake and is unlikely to want to have anything to do with it anymore, or a high school or college student (and their group of friends) who spent a boring half year parodying awful fanfiction. The latter seems the most likely, but in either case, the author of My Immortal is unlikely to have even retained their password from 2007 to now. Any original document files have probably been lost or, if the work was sincere, possibly intentionally destroyed.

If the author were still interested in the work and wanted to come forward when they could still prove that it was theirs, they could have. Because of that, any present claims of authorship are highly suspect. It's fun to ask and to speculate about who wrote My Immortal, but no answers are ever likely to be forthcoming.

We'll never know who Tara is, because even if she did tell us, we've already heard so many false Taras
Think about it. How would we know if someone claiming to be Tara is actualy Tara?We don't.There's no possible thing that can pinpoint someone as the real author, since her account was apparently hacked.

Tara Gilespie is a Twilight fan.
Both My Immortal and Twilight have a vampire obsession, ridonkulous "romance" plots, come off as teenage girl pandering and are So Bad, It's Good. Twilight certainly seems like something Tara would like, and abandoned "My Immortal" because she was focused on this new fad.

My Immortal was written by Tommy Wiseau
Can't believe no one's thought of this one yet! First and foremost, there's Tommy's love of vampires- he was going to have a scene in The Room where Johnny was revealed to be a vampire and fly off the roof, but he didn't have the money in the special effects budget for it. Second, there's a lot of plot points that are brought up and then never mentioned again; the scene in The Room where Lisa's mother announces she has breast cancer, only for it to never be mentioned again, bears resemblance to the scene in My Immortal where Draco apparently killed himself, yet is alive and well in later chapters with no explanation. Third, pretty much every character in both works swears like a sailor. Fourth, Tommy's loose grasp on the English language would no doubt contribute to the endless spelling and grammar errors in the fic. And last but not least, there is the multitude of awkward sex scenes in both works that prove that the writer has no idea what sex is like.

My Immortal was written by Alphys
In August 2017, a Twitter user came forward claiming to be the writer of My Immortal via open letter. She ended the open letter like so: "P.S. Undyne is my wife, HAHAHA, SUCK IT HATERS." So what if she wrote a memoir under another name and claims to be merely a fan of Undertale? No fact in the world has ever been more true than the fact that My Immortal is the brainchild of Alphys.

"Suzi" was a troll.
Chapter 35 is the "Morty Mc Fli" chapter. Note that at the beginning of the chapter, Tara thanks someone named "Suzi" for an idea. Assuming that Tara herself is not a troll, to this Troper, it seems likely that "Suzi" was a troll that managed to befriend Tara and suggested the idea of adding Marty McFly to the story. Tara, not knowing any better, did as per suggestion. Evidence to back up this theory is that the "tim machine" is never described as a DeLorean, but as something that fits in a pocket. This suggests that Tara does not know that it is supposed to be a DeLorean and has never seen Back to the Future.

Tara smokes pot
(Or at least did at the time of writing My Immortal)

There is a line in the fanfiction which says "I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot." The fact that the bit where she takes out the cigarete end is in capitals but the bit about smoking pot isn't implies that Tara sees smoking pot as a mundane action, which implies that she smoked pot at the time of writing.

Also, you'd have to be on pot to write My Immortal in the first place.

Tara is the daughter of Jim Theis.
A juvenile amateur "writer" writing the most infamous Snark Bait of the genre and of the generation, starring a slutty violent unsympathetic protagonist and featuring gratitious bad sex scenes, many malapropisms amd word crimes, excessive focus on irrelevant details and stupid skimpy outfits? Like father, like daughter!

Tara is a former friend of JK Rowling who helped her write the Harry Potter books
Tara was upset that Rowling didn't give her due credit for her work, so she decided to get revenge with a horrible fanfiction. This explains why Tara knew about Harry being the seventh horcrux before this was revealed.


Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way actually lives in the canonical Harry Potter universe
Ebony is actually a character in Harry Potter; a character probably on the side lines and is never spoken to or seen in the story, but you can assume she's there if you want. She is actually a depressive, anti-social Slytherin named Demi Ravenwood, who, due to her reclusiveness and exclusion from the rest of the school's population, began to create very vivid fantasy worlds for her to live in, to cope with the loneliness of social exile.

Ebony is a succubus.
Something a friend of mine thought up a long time ago. In addition to being a demon, she has strong magical powers from becoming a wizard. They appear frightening and demonic and to anyone outside of Ebony's messed-up little world, she certainly is. In addition, she uses her magic to twist people's personalities and bring people back from the dead.

Ebony is a poser!!!!11112
Dumbledore listens to an N*SYNC song on her "tim machine" iPod. Now how did that get there....?

Ebony is into BDSM
When Ebony said that she was a sadist, she meant that she was a dominatrix, and the 'sado' part of 'sadomasochism'. However, she's a shallow idiot, and 'gets' BDSM like she gets being gothic. She doesn't understand that a BDSM-type sadist is different than a real-world sadist, as someone who's playing it for sex is not sadistic in more real-world situations. That's why she said that she felt sorry for Voldemort even though she's a sadist. She, being only a sadist in BDSM situations, felt sorry for his non-sexual pain, and because she equates dominatrix with 'person who enjoys others' pain, regardless of circumstances', she said 'even though I'm a sadist'. She is, however, able to enjoy vanilla sex, and because Draco isn't into BDSM, (and she wasn't expecting that first instance of sex), she does vanilla with him, and everyone else. If she were to find a submissive, she would happily have BDSM sex with him, provided he's goffick, because although Ebony can seduce anyone, she wouldn't consider a prep worthy of having sex with her.
My Immortal is the Apocalyptic Log of a teenage girl slowly going crazy.
As the story goes on, she makes less and less sense; entire paragraphs are placed before they are happening. The already bad grammar continues to go downhill as she writes, ending up as a garbled mess. "Raven" is just a figment of her imagination, or else another side to her personality who has much better grammar and spelling. The hacker's chapter was the last straw and was what she thought happened when she truly cracked.

Ebony was created when Willow tried to take all the darkness out of the hearts of the Harry Potter cast
Willow was originally a Ravenclaw, and had a lot of cleverness but zero common sense, and was a bit detached from other people, although she genuinely wanted the best for everyone. She came up with a spell that would take all the dark influence out of everyone's heartss and put it into a doll she had, however, she underestimated the potency of it and the Darkness ended up gaining a life of its own, becoming Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, who had the ability to turn people to Goffickness and evil. Preps are those with seriously strong will, strong enough to resist Enoby, and Posers are those who got infected with Gofficness and are fighting it. Ebony's twisted viewpoint means that she sees Preps and Posers as committing unspeakable deeds, when in reality, they're frantically trying to redeem the canon characters and kill Ebory, who's corrupting them.As for Willow herself, she became the first victim of what she created, becoming completely corrupted to the point of having no will of her own, and being simply a plaything of Enony, who alternately likes her or hates her. She had just one brief moment of lucidity, during ch. 38, when she tried her very hardest to redo canon, but because she couldn't resist the urge to ship the very non-canon Draco/Hermione, her spell fell apart. At the end, though, when Evony was distracted fighting Voldemort, she was able to gather her will once more and correctly cast the spell that ensured that canon went back to normal, ending the story.

Ebony is Peeves.
During the time period that Snape was headmaster, Peeves grew more powerful by feeding on the rebellous spirits of the Dumbledore's Army members and the general misery over the entire school (Peeves being a spirit of chaos, it is reasonably logical that more chaos would make him stronger). Shortly after the events of Deathly Hallows, Peeves reaches Reality Warping levels of power and sets the events of My Immortal in motion under the guise of Ebony. The preps are actually particularly strong willed people who are breaking away from Peeves's mind control.

Enoby wrote My Immortal.
My Immortal is actually nonfiction. Hogwarts is really like that.

Ebony accidentally killed herself at the end.
Her wand was pointed the wrong way, so she blasted herself with the killing curse.
  • Thus explaining the story's sudden halt.
    • Of course! She finally slit her wrists one too many times! It all makes sense now!
      • Here's a banger: She used the killing curse on herself deliberately. Either she wanted to commit suicide for real because she's goffic, or she did it so that it would send her back in time (like when she slit her wrists in an earlier chapter) allowing her to attempt to change stuff again.
  • But I thought only a cross or a steak could kill her? Then again maybe "ABRA KEDABRA" is a spell for conjuring steaks?
    • That would be the single greatest spell. Of all time.

Ebony is the Alpha Bitch.
Everyone here says so, so I thought I'd make it an official theory. Here's how she measures up to Rosalind Wiseman's newest "Queen Bee" criteria:
  • Her friends do what she wants to do.
    • Check.
  • She isn't intimidated by other girls in her class.
    • Check.
  • She complains about other people copying her, never leaving her alone, or being too sensitive.
    • Ebony frequently complains about others "tring 2 be b goffik" and whines about not being left alone. She doesn't complain about anyone being too sensitive, though (mostly because she doesn't even try to hide the contempt she feels for her targets).
  • When she's hanging out in a group, she's in the center. When she moves, they follow.
    • Probably...
  • She can argue anyone down, including friends, peers, teachers, and parents.
    • As improbable as it seems, Ebony always seems to have her way with anyone who matters, even though she just yells at them and doesn't even pretend to be respectful to the teachers.
  • She can make another girl feel "anointed" by declaring her a special friend.
    • Doesn't come up.
  • She's strategically affectionate, for example, she sees two girls in her group, one she's pleased with and one she isn't. When she sees them, she'll throw her arms around one and insist that they sit together and barely say anything to the other
    • Ebony's friends are all clones of her, so she's never displeased with them. The only exception is (briefly) Willow and she was (temporarily?) dead at that point.
  • She won't (or is very reluctant to) take responsibility when she hurts someone's feelings.
    • No one tries to make Ebony take responsibility for her actions, but she would certainly refuse to if they did.
  • If she thinks she's been wronged, she feels she has the right to seek revenge and will do so.
    • Ye gods! Ebony tortures and murders people over perceived slights.
  • Conclusion: Ebony is mean enough to be a Libby, but she may or may not actually be one. It basically comes down to whether or not she's popular, but the story gives us almost no clues as to her social standing. Of course, considering everyone seems to be in love with her...

The bad grammar and spelling are a metaphor for Ebory's mind.
Think about it. Voldemort's slowly friving her to hell with his "kill your friend or I kill your boyfriend" stuff is pressuring her already fragile mind. With her boyfriend trying to kill himself and being captured, Willow dying and Snap and Loopin video-taping her naked, she's slowly losing it. She's falling into a state of dementia and the story and grammar and spelling follow.

Ebony is a Time Lord.
Why the heck not? Everybody else in every work of fiction has been hypothesised to be a Time Lord, so why not Eonby?

Ebony's a lonely Yandere.
Think about it. She's uber-upset when Draco said no one understood him. She thought she did, and thought he was as lonely as she was. When she realized that they weren't as close as they thought, she freaked out. Also, thoughout the story she seeks comfort with her friends. Without them, she's scared, lonely and afraid. She's rather serious about killing herself only when she feels everyone has abandoned her (such as when Draco committed suicide or did it with Snap).

The stuff about being goth? A coping mechanism. She feels being Satanicand brooding will make her cool and allow her to make friends, but also make herself feel courageous and strong. My Immortal isn't about a spoiled goth princess Sue, it's a deconstrucion about a lonely girl who has too much pressure thrust upon her and is coping by being goth.

Ebony, and every other goff, is under the influence of magic and/or drugs designed to make them into Death Eaters.
The reason the Death Eaters act the way they do in canon is not because of their loyalty to Voldemort: they're goffs! They are forced to see things in black and white goff and prep terms. This makes it easy for Voldemort to control them, but hard for the other side to reason with them. The epic of My Immortal is the story of a young woman, tainted by dark magic, whose will is unusually strong. She tries to fight off the twisted influences, even managing to associate Voldemort with preppiness, her new definition of bad. The sudden changes she and Harry go through after being "infected" manage to tip Dumbledore. After realizing what Voldemort was doing to his students, he tried to make them and the other affected students associate him with goffness by painting the Great Hall black and drawing attention to the fact no one was wearing robes with pop singers on them. In spite of his best efforts, however, Ebony was driven farther into the madness, hallucinating the same events repeatedly, even hallucinating having Voldemort's friendship. She is able to see the people who aren't under his influence but are pretending to serve him; that's why she sees Snape as a poser. After having nearly fallen completely under Voldemort's control, she realizes herself and gathers the last threads of Heroic Willpower inside her. For only a moment, she is able to see what must be done. The last thing she is aware of is shooting a killing curse at her captor, before the goffness fully consumes her soul. That's how the story ends, with her last moment of clarity. Ebony Way saved us all.
  • Dear Lord, if this is true, then My Immortal is officially the best fanfiction ever. Mini-WMG: In correlation to an above WMG, stating that the last chapter would have changed the whole thing into a work of genius, then this is it. The final chapter would have been Ebony recovering from the goff-sickness, experiencing the story clearly for the first time, and the story would have been hailed as the greatest work of fanfiction since Inferno. Too bad Tara never did post that last chapter...
    • On a different note, is it OK if I use this idea for a fanfic?

Ebony and friends have a Hive Mind.
Think about it. When Egogy and Draco go to Dumbledore for help, they talk in usison and say the same thing. They look and dress and act the same. They are essentially interchangable with one-another. Clearly they acted like their canon selves before Enoby showed up. She altered their memories and added them into her hive of scum and villainy.

Ebony is "good at too many things" in bed.
Think about it: It's why everyone is after her. Hargrid, Vampire and Snaketail (to name a few) all lust after her despite not having actually talked to her before. This is because she had such good sex with Draco that he started bragging. And as anyone who has slept with her can vouch for, what he says is true. Voldemort misconstrued her "talent with a wand" and tasked her with killing Draco. Not to mention, she's pretty freaky in bed. And very easy. Very easy.

Ebony does exist in the canon Potterverse...
...but she's just an average Hogwarts student who is disillusioned about her life. Pretty much everything that happens in My Immortal is what she fantasizes about. She is madly infatuated with Draco and constantly wishes he'd "put his thingy in (her) you-know-what", thinks a lot of the Gryffindor kids are actually pretty cool but doesn't want to admit it so she imagines them as "goffic" Slytherins instead, wishes she could be more heroic and imagines fighting the "bark lord", etc. As for all the references to Muggle culture...well, despite being a Slytherin, she's had several run-ins with Muggle culture and is obsessed with the music and movies from it. What about the fact that most of the Muggle stuff she likes didn't exist when Harry Potter took place? Well....she got ahold of some sort of device that could allow her to see into the future, and she realized that her favorite bands and movies happen to be from the 00's. But she forgot which works were from which decade, hence her not remembering that most of the muggle stuff she likes doesn't even exist yet when the story takes place.
  • This is the real story.
  • Or, possibly, she is a Muggleborn Slytherin in the 2000s and the whole story is her wish-fulfillment fantasy.
    • As a Muggleborn, she has been exposed to Muggle culture for most of her life.
      • Or she could be a Muggleborn from Harry Potter's time, which would explain why she was announced to be dead on the radio in Deathly Hallows Part 1 (as Ebony Raven). She was caught by Death Eaters/Snatchers.
    • As a teenage girl, she has crushes on various celebrities, both Muggle and Wizard ones.
    • As someone who entered the wizarding world soon after the war ended, she is fascinated by recent wizarding history and wishes she could have been there when it happened.
    • As a Muggleborn in Slytherin, she is often bullied by her classmates (possibly including a girl named Britney). As a result, she is depressed.
    • As a shy kid bullied by her classmates, she wishes she was more assertive and self-assured
    • It's also possible that she has recently been bitten by, and turned into, a vampire. In that case, My Immortal is a story she made up in an attempt to convince herself that being a vampire is nothing to be ashamed of.

Ebony committed suicide in the final chapter.
So, you know how most of the story is all her Wangsting, and how depressed she is? She gets depressed literally over nothing, but now she's actually facing some serious pressure (as noted in her writing - she's so freaked out of having to fight Voldemort that her normal wangst is replaced by wanting to be with her friends)and now she actually has to do something, rather than dick around. She couldn't stand the presser and used the spell she cast against herself to end her life. And the story.

Ebony and Satan were not watching The Exorcist, but a work-out video!
When Ebony and Satan go to see "The Exercise", that is not Tara's misspelling of "Exorcist". There is actually an aerobics video being shown at the Hogsmeade theater, possibly because of some sort of mix-up. Then why is a generic teen slasher movie described? Well, the line about how "a boy and a gurl were doing it sudenly a cereal killer came" does not refer to a scene in the movie, but something that actually went on in the theater. A couple were so busy going at it that they didn't notice when a "cereal killer" had eaten all the cereal they brought as a snack. The resulting blood that Ebony and Satan laughed at was blood that the cereal killer poured into the cereal, since using blood as a replacement for milk is actually quite common in the Tara-verse. (For some reason, Ebony is only bothered by public sex when "dumb preps" are the ones doing it, despite the fact that she and Satan get naked in public a few paragraphs later and even kill a woman for objecting to their indecent exposure.)
  • If they kept watching anyway, it's probably because they found the workout video suitably goffik to fuck to. This Troper can't help but imagine a Goff version of Richard Simmons, and finds it both hilarious and terrifying - you know, kind of like the rest of this awful piece of fic.

Ebony has Bipolar Disorder.
Actually, much of the 'Goffik' cast may qualify.

The symptoms of bipolar disorder, according to this Healthline website include: Mood Swings; [while in the manic state:] inflated self-esteem, lack of self-control, poor temper control, reckless behaviour {i.e. impaired judgement, sexual promiscuity}; [while in the depressive state:] difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions, feelings of worthlessness, persistent thoughts of death, and suicidal thoughts.

Also, "There is a high risk of suicide with bipolar disorder. While in either phase, patients may abuse alcohol or other substances, which can worsen the symptoms. Sometimes there is an overlap between the two phases. Manic and depressive symptoms may occur simultaneously or in quick succession in what is called a mixed state."

Ebony is in Azkaban
This is prior to the Ministry removing the Dementors from the fortress (post DH), and My Immortal was the thoughts (scratched into the wall) of a person slowly going mad.

Ebony is a resident of Ward 49
Ward 49 (aka the Janus Thickey Ward on the fourth floor {Spell Damage} of St. Mungo's Hospital) houses long-term residents whose brains had been permanently affected by magic (i.e. the Longbottoms, Lockhart). My Immortal is her journal. Chapter 39 is a brief period of lucidity.
  • Or a patient in the Hospital Wing. See this fanfic [1]

Ebony must sleep with Voldemort in order to defeat him.
Because anyone who sleeps with her pretty much becomes her slave.

Ebony and her friends worship Voldemort.
Satan is not just a nickname. He eventually came to be known as Satan and was worshipped. Ebony and her friends don't know this, and Voldy probably cast a spell so he can keep taps on anyone who is a Satanist, or uses his name. Voldemort probably managed to make it so that any Satanist would do his bidding, and Ebony and co. are just pawns in his complicated power play. That's why Snape was freaked out about Hargrid being a goff (mistaking it for being related to Satan): he's used to people being controlled by Voldemort, but was shocked to learn that Hargrid had fallen in with him. Thus explaining all the Character Derailment.

Ebony had been driven to insanity by the Cruciatus Curse
Not enough to make her a shell like the Longbottoms, but enough that she has no grip on reality.

Ebony is a threat to us all.
The final chapter didn't end because of any of the above. Ebony gained full Medium Awareness, and knows we exist. Thusly, she's hiding her actions to reach our reality. And there she will use her Sue-ness to warp our universe into her demented vision. The disapperance of Tara is essentially her first thrust into our world.

Ebony is being tortured by the Death Eaters
Ebony is a Slytherin in the same year as Harry. The story takes place during Deathly Hallows, and is all caused by Death Eaters cruelly messing with Ebony's mind using magic. Before Dumbledore's death, Ebony was a Muggle-born Slytherin who was a Seer, and befriended Trelawney because of this. When Voldemort took over the school, he started attempting to use Ebony to see what moves his enemies would make. Ebony only saw his defeat, and Voldemort started torturing her as punishment. She see's Dumbledore as evil because his death led to her capture and fate at the hands of Voldemort, and Willow/Raven is her only friend who sticks with her out of worry. Willow abandoned her after Ebony got both of them punished and Ebony attempted to kill her. Vampire, Bloody Mary and the rest o her goth friends don't exist. They're parts of her personalities imprinted on the Death Eaters who follow her around and routinely torture her. Draco is real, and they go out, and he puts up with it all because he's so guilty about what happened to her and how he helped cause it. Neville is seen as one of her friends because he's helping everyone get through the year despite all the punishment and she wishes to be like him. She hates Snape because she blames him for Dumbledore's death and Lupin because he is allied with Snape. Brittany is her twin sister who has no idea why Ebony has changed so much and is trying to help her. The whole time travel plot doesn't happen, and is Ebony's powers unravelling and showing her the past instead of the future, leading to her killing herself in Trelawney's office and imagining a way to have prevented her torture and suicide as she bleeds out. She was revived and brought back, but attempted it again alone and survived again. The first sex scene is real, and is so passionless because Draco is only with her out of pity, and Ebony is out of it. The rest of them are her being raped by a random Death Eater she imagines to be Draco to cope, and the Death Eater she pretends is Harry/Vampire. The torture scene with Snape and Lupin is after their failed rescue attempt, where they are tortured by Ebony and forced to watch her being raped, and her band is just her being tortured while Ginny and Neville are punished for attempting to steal the Sword of Gryffindor. Dumbledore is actually the head Death Eater at the school that she envisions as Dumbledore because he was nice to her once, but she still hates him because he could end her suffering, but doesn't. She heard him arguing with Umbridge because as Ebony is a Muggleborn, she shouldn't be at Hogwarts anymore. The part where Ebony goes to the concerts with Draco is actually an attempt by the Death Eaters to placate her with things she likes to get her to trust him. The Death Eaters attacking and being stopped by 'Dumbledore' was really a plot to have Ebony trust the head Death Eater (Avery?), but backfired. Voldemort's task for her was an attempt to mold her into a weapon to kill Harry Potter, but failed when it turned out she envisioned a Death Eater as Harry Potter. The scene where Lupin and Snape see her in the bath and 'masticate' to it was actually them plotting to rescue her while she attempted to drown herself which backfired horribly. She is actually a vampire and was bitten early on in the year so she would be stronger. Hairgrid is Hagrid who is trying to reach her, but her paranoia and insanity make her distrust him, and then she gets tortured for interacting with him. The reason Filch and Ms Norris' names have been swapped is because Filch has been torturing her a lot, and if she acknowledges him as her tormentor, she won't be able to be around him without having a panic attack. The hacked chapter was a nightmare she had that brought all her self-loathing to the forefront of her mind, and she decided to try and kill Voldemort, but due to her suicidal nature she pointed her wand at herself and committed suicide.

Tara is really a guy.
Think about it: Every time unmentionables are mentioned, Tara gets into all the gorey details of male private parts, but only refers to Ebony's as "my you-know-what". Then there's all the slip-ups like 'he put his dude-thingy in mine' and too many instances of implying that Enoby is a Hermaphrodite. It's too convenient to be a coincidence! My guess is that some dude got really high and decided to right this as part of some sort of prank.
  • Meth is a hell of a drug.

Enoby is an Eldritch Abomination.
Her mere presence has driven all of the Harry Potter characters to insanity.

Ebony is Q.
Centuries before he had Picard to bug, Q came down to Earth, took the form of a teenage girl, and altered the people of Hogwarts according to his whims. Willow is also a Q, which is why she came back after she "died".

Ebony is the Anthropomorphic Personification of badfics in general
There is a reason she uses every single Mary Sue cliche. She is not simply a Harry Potter fan character. She is the entire concept of bad fanfiction in general, given a human form.
  • And she's warping the fabric of reality around Hogwarts to her will!

Enoby is immune to the Death Note.
No, not because she's a vampire. Because it's impossible to spell her name correctly, since even the author doesn't know how it's spelled.

Enoby has a twin sister.
Her name is Ivory Light Innocence Dove Way. She is the preppiest prep ever. She never swears, is a virgin, and can't stand any of the so-called "goffic" bands. She is a werewolf. She has pale blonde hair with frosted blue tips and braided in yellow streaks. And she can spell perfectly.
  • Also, she's a Purity Sue.
    • Someone needs to write this. I want to hear about Ivory's misadventures in this twisted version of Hogwarts!
      • It is here, under the name of ' 'Till the World Ends '! It is written with purple prose, with Ivory wangsting about her horrible past, with new werewolf powers coming out of the blue from barely any mythological source, and Ivory redeeming all the characters that Ebony gothicized. Also, Ivory understands what it means to be a prep as much as Ebony understands what it means to be a goth.

Enoby is a hermaphrodite
She mentions her "boy thingy" yet claims to be a girl.

Enoby is an alien.
She came to Earth in an attempt to conquer it. Just being around her causes people to go insane and become hopelessly attracted to her / want to follow her and become her clone. Prepz are people who can somewhat resist her, they still go insane and often turn evil, but they do not become perfect clones of her. The only hope for the version of the Potterverse that she resides in is for the Doctor to come and save the day.

Enoby is (or is somehow mentally linked to) an Ork.
Terrible grammar, terrible accuracy with firearms, being a "Goff"? She may be another of da boyz, either losing track of da proper Orky values or just trying to annoy us 'umies For the Lulz.

Ebony is sort of a counterpart to Canon!Dumbledore.
Just think about it. Both of them (said to be) powerful. Both try to redeem Voldemort. Both of them fall in love with someone who goes on to become a Dark wizard, despite their attempts to change them, and both end up having to fight them. And both have more names than usual. And their names both refer to colors: Ebony (black) and Albus (white).

Ebony is an Unreliable Narrator.
She switches subjects and how slit wrists can harm people so many times, that it eventually makes you think that she's just making shit up as she goes along. Maybe she's just in Azkaban.

Enoby is the next wave of the Saya no Uta invasion
She's somehow managed to make everyone at hogwarts suffer the same disorder Fuminori did, turning the world into a huge crapfest and shrouding her own disgusting self behind the appearance of a goffik chick she saw on a magazine, thus explaining why she's so easy (She's collecting semen just as Saya did).

Ebony is Voldemort's illegitimate child.
Don't ask.

Ebony and the other "goffs" are really the bad guys
The author threw in some Obviously Evil traits (like Hollywood Satanism and being a vampire) to see if anyone would get a hint as to Ebony's true alignment. Voldemort was supposed to pull an Enemy Mine with Gryffandor in the final battle because Ebony had a plot to kill Harry, and Voldemort won't let anyone else to kill him due to his very creepy obsession with him. Or you know what? Let's just stop at "Ebony is the bad guy" and leave it at that.

Ebony is only a Satanist because of Samifer
If the author could predict Harry being a Horcrux they could predict this

Ebony has powerful magic and uses mind control to make the Harry Potter characters her mind slaves.
The villains are really the only ones unaffected and dedicated to fighting against Ebony. The stranger and more...eccentric moments are just misunderstandings on Ebony's part because she's half insane herself.

Ebony understands Sign Language.
And that's how she can "talk in silence". Because Sign Language is silent. However, it is Goffik Sign Language and can only be understood by other Goffs. Perhaps it is by knowing and being fluent in Goffik Sin Language (geddit) that one can become Goffik when they were not before, and how a Goff can sort out the Posers from the real Goffs.

Ebony has powers similar to Shadar.
At some point during the plot of Harry Potter, a witch with unusual magic appeared and derailed it. Many of the characters are acting strangely because they have become Brokenhearted (Borkenhearthed?). Harry and company have become depressed goths because they lost their Hope and Enthusiasm. Draco got hit with something similar, but a little mistake by Ebony resulted in him getting extra Kindness, hence why he's willing to move in the same social circle as Hermoine. Voldemort is trying to have someone else kill Harry for him because he lost his courage, and is now too scared to face Harry himself. Brittany was once a very nice girl in Gryffindor who wasn't involved in the plot, until Ebony decided to remove her Kindness. Ebony's heart breaking spree was brought to an end when she got into a fight with Dumbledore. He managed to turn one of her spells back on her, stripping her of her Ambition (and accidentally taking a big chunk of her memories.) He acts erratically because he's had his own heart broken, but he's experimenting on himself to fix it, so he can fix everyone else.

Ebony is Transsexual.

She used to have a penis but she traded it for a vagina during some sort of sex change. That’s why she says whenever she sees a hot person she’s reminded of the times she had a penis and all people with penises get erections.

  • Maybe shortly after she transitioned to the female gender, it was either herself, her parents (if they exist) or someone else who wanted her to have a sex change and so she did.
  • Speaking of the sex change, it was either surgical or magical. We really don’t know if there are spells and potions that change a person’s sex permanently in the Potterverse, but the closest thing to a sex-changing thing is the Polyjuice Potion, I guess. If not a surgery would work. Changing your gender is easy but changing your sex is hard.

Ebony is an American immigrant.

She buys from American stores, after all. And if she thinks English accents are sexy, she probably doesn't have one herself. She could be Scottish, but Tara seemed to forget that Hogwarts was in Scotland.

    Other Characters 

Voldemort really is Tom Bombadil

He is either just messing around with the goffs, or he has become genuinely Stupid Evil for no logical reason. Probably because of his divorce with Goldberry.

There are actually more than just preps/posers and goffs

At least two refferences to punks exist, so maybe the goffs and the punks are common allies against the preps/posers. What happened to the punks is anybody's guess.

Voldemort keeps flying away because he wants to mess around.
He does his random threats and stuff; but he's already put the characters into a secret hell, and they're suffering already.
  • That would require him finding out that there are worse things than death. Noodle Incident?
  • Nope,he figured that one out after 2 minutes in Ebony's presence
  • Voldemort created Ebony, to torture the Wizarding World before he kills them all.

Voldermort is the hero of this story.
He's trying to stop Ebony from poisoning fanon, but he has underestimated her.

Navel is the owner of the Elder Wand.
He's also the most powerful character. Voldemort never seems to kill anyone despite threatening to do so, and only becomes dangerous in Chapter 44 when he summons Navel's wand. Presumably he requires a wand to summon Navel's wand, and the only reason he doesn't use his own wand to kill everyone is, Navel is the owner of the Elder Wand, and wields the most power over everyone. To prevent Navel from defeating him he steals the Elder wand from Navel. Voldemort's own wand probably is rather ineffective. Since in canon, Navel was one of the possibly contenders for Voldemort's defeat this is likely. As Navel is now a goff, making him the true hero is conforming to Tara's principles.

Dumbledore is an epic Cool Old Guy.
Dumbledore is, in fact, an awesome Chessmaster who pretends to be senile and manipulates Ebony so that she'll defeat Voldemort. He knows there's no way to get her to fulfill her part in his plan other than Reverse Psychology, so that's what he does. Ebony, of course, is too shallow and stupid to realize this. Notice how despite the fact he acts unhelpful around Ebony, he defended her before the Ministry when he thought she wasn't looking. And when push comes to shove, he usually is helpful, as when he saved her from "Volxemort and the Death Dealers" and orchestrated the rescue of "Lucian and Serious". He only refused to rescue Draco that one time because that was Something She Had To Do Herself. And he intentionally acts the part of a "poser" because he knows her prejudice against non-"goffs" will insure she views him simply as an enemy and won't try to see any deeper motivation in his actions. Ebony was upset when Dumbledore was sent away by Fudge because they actually have the same kind of relationship as a parent and a rebellious teenager. That is, she needs him for emotional security even though she spends all her time viewing him in a hateful stew. This isn't reflected in the story because she's telling it on her own terms and she's too petty and immature to not depict him as the bad guy.
  • Also, note she hates Cornelia Fuck even when he drove Dumbledore off. Under all logic Ebony would have felt sympathy for Cornelia for eliminating one of her enemy, but instead she concentrated her rage on Cornelia. Of course, it could very well be that she feels unsympathetic towards any prep regardless of their actions, but...

Hargrid and Hagrid are entirely different people.
Aside from Hagrid being a Hogwarts student, able to use a wand, and not, from what we can tell by the story, actually half-Giant or bearded, as well as his name always being spelled as "Hargrid", it's likely he's a different character, another OC based off of a friend that she just forgot to mention in an author's note.

Related to the above: Hargrid is meant to be Cedric and Hedwig is meant to be Hagrid.
Tara herself says that Hargrid was a mistake and it was supposed to be Cedric at one point (but then calls him Hargrid in later chapters anyway). About Hedwig - well, it makes sense and fits her other mistakes.
  • This makes sense considering that Hagrid and Tom Riddle/ Voldemort did go to Hogwarts in the same period. Maybe Tara interpreted Tom Riddle's framing of Hagrid as a revenge for having had his heart broken by him.

Vlodemort/volxemort/Tom Bombodil is actually a time lord.
When Ebony returns to the past, Tom "satan" Bombodil seems to function exactly like a time lord. He knows things that will happen in the future as if he has been there I.E. travelled in time. In the last chapter, it says Satan transformed into Voldemort, which sounds like a regeneration.So my theory about this is that Tom's TARDIS broke in the 80's and he somehow died. Then he regenerated into Voldemort(the guy with no nose). Wanting to have a time machine, he manipulated several people within a grand scheme to get a new one. When he saw Ebony, he knew the girl would be stupid and self-absorbed enough to use in this plan. In the normal timeline she was but a minor human student who wasnt noticed, but Voldemort made changes to the timeline which made Ebony a vampire with the ability to seduce everyone she wanted. Then he posed himself as an evil person, so Ebony would go back in time to prevent his 'start of darkness'. After that, his former self would manipulate Ebony into taking him to the future. After that, he would kill Ebony(for her existence would now be useless and actually dangerous, since her vampire powers where a match for his Time lord powers) and rebuild Ebony's time machine into a TARDIS and use it to take over the universe. Because time went all wimey wibbly wobbly, he regenerated before he was shot with 'abra kedabra', during the final chapter. The story stopped at the last 'abra kedabra' because Voldemort had killed her after that. (probably by holding a barbeque with lots of steak)To add a more confusing variation to this timey wimey theory, Morti Mcfly is a future regeneration of Voldemort. Both Share 'Mort' in their names. He brought Ebony a TARDIS to give to his past self. He had to give it indirectly since the selves shall never meet.

The reason why this plan was not very evident in the story itself, was because it was written from the POV of Ebony, who is actually chosen to be the centerfold of this plan because of her stupidness, which is not a very reliable point of view.

  • Alternatively, he's a Time Traveling Con Man, possibly even Jack, with an as-of-yet unknown motive. Remember how Dumbledore looks completely different in the 80s? Maybe it wasn't actually him. It may have been Tom Satan Bombadil Anderson's partner in crime. Ebony may never have even traveled to the 80s at all, which would explain the numerous mistakes about people attending Hogwarts in the 80s when they shouldn't, and about the 80s in general.

The 'Severus' in chapter 30 is a manifestation of Snap's surpressed good side.
In chapter 30 Snap is torturing the main characters. But suddenly Severus appeared. This character didnt do anything but distract Snap, so the real help could come in. So it could be that his good 'goffic' side manifestated itself to stop Snap from harming goffs.

Tara never misspelled any of the names. Those are all different characters.
Okay, so I haven't read the story this way. But it would explain various characters surviving death, and/or slashing their wrists all the time and drinking the blood.
  • Think about it; the same misspellings (Enoby, Dumblydore, Volsemort, etc.) keep reappearing throughout the story. Can it be mere coincidence?
  • Since other characters often refer to the main character as Enoby, Evony, etc., this would imply that all those names (Enoy, Ibony, etc.) refer to Ebony's identical, or at least very similar, sisters and that other characters keep mistaking her for them. It's possible that all Ebony's sisters died before the story began (Hey, that would give her an actual reason to be depressed).

Slutborn is Ebony's son.
Think about it. The Prof. is (apparently) GOFF (Saying "oh my goff" in the later chapters), and is at least once called "Slutborn." SLUT. BORN. And who is a goth and a slut? Everybody, but Ebony is the star! Plus, she is the only one (besides Voldemort). She's had sex so many times and never seems to use protection. (Lupin asked her for condoms, but she never indicated she had any). Perhaps she gave birth in the past and (since Tara does not want children) abandoned him so he can have a tragic background. Who his father is could be anyone's guess, considering she's slept with Vampire, Draco and Voldemort.
  • That...kind of makes sense.
    • Also, I nearly died laughing with that theory, great job.
  • I'd say Voxymort.
  • He could be the son of Jezebel from Imma Wiserd. (her last name is S Lutborn)

Filch and Mrs. Norris are anamangi.
In My Immortal, Filch (a human in Harry Potter canon) is a cat, and Mrs. Norris (a cat in Harry Potter) is a human. This at first may seem like Tara's mistake, but in reality, both Filch and Mrs. Norris are human and are both anamangus who can turn into cats at will. During the time of My Immortal, they each simpily changed from the forms we know them as.
  • But Filch is a Squib, so how can he be an Animagus?
    • J.K. Rowling's version isn't as funny.
    • Because J.K. Rowling was the one who misspelled it! Filch is not a Squib, but a Squid!

Slutborn, Loopin and Sirius are OCs.
They're not supposed to be Slughorn, Lupin or Sirius. Tara made them up. That would explain why there's never any mention of Lupin's transformations or Sirius being Vampire's godfather. Also, this fanfic is too shitty to be made by a seventeen-years-old girl(which Tara claims to be). Tara wrote the fanfic before the second book came out. She sent it to J.K. Rowling, who got quite a laugh. She then decided to name some of her characters names resembling Tara's. It would also explain the "Tara is Gilderoy Lockhart"-theory above.
  • Jossed. "Serius" is reffered as Vampyre's "dogfather".

Marty McFly works for Dumbledore.
After the plan to stop the Dark Lord is set in motion, Ebony keeps running into Marty or his "tim" machine for no directly stated reason. Ebony doesn't have any way of traveling on her own between the past and the present except by dying (which would probably be viewed by the Professor Sinister and the others as dangerous to rely on), so it makes sense that Dumbelydum would have Marty shadow her while she's in the past and be on hand to return her safely to the present if things go wrong. This means that Marty disguised his time machine as an iPod and planted it on Ebony so she could use it to escape from Past!Dumbledore (near the story's end) and is also responsible for Ebony falling through the hole and appearing back in the present after her first time travel session.

It could also be theorized that Ebony jumping back and forth between the two timelines whenever she dies is not a weird unexplained ability that she has, but rather Marty using his time machine to transport her safely away just before she would have died (like the bullet from James' knife-gun). Depending on how long (or why) Marty was being employed by Dumbledum, he and Doc Brown might also have been the people sent to Longdon to find Serious and Lucian.

  • Except Satan told Enoby that if things from a different time (Ebony and the bullet, Satan and the amnesia potion) won't affect each other. And Enoby could have always just gone though the penseive, couldn't she? She didn't control it, but they were timed bursts.

Dumblydore knew Voldemprt had Drako.
He was crying when he thought Draco had died. Not two chapters later does he openly mock Draco. It is possible he knew what happened to Draco and wanted Enoby to find him on her own (and this does, in fact, get them back together.) Judjing by some of the above guesses about his inconsistent behavior, this is kind of likely.

Voldemort must have sex in order to be defeated.
Sinister's speech about him not being evil because he found love meant that, should someone have sex with him, he would lose his powers/die/get amnesia/whatever. Of course they send Ebony, because she's the sluttiest student in school. It would be so easy.

Tom Rid's store is new.
That's why Enoby never heard of it. He probably gave pamphlets or something to Dumbledore so he could advertize to the goffs. But alas, he is young as Distracted by the Sexy, and he goes out of business giving Ebony free clothes. That's why him and the shop fade out of the story.

In My Immortal continuity, Hedwig...
Is a Mode Locked, Gender Bended animagus, possibly as a punishment (maybe for being an unregistered animagus).

"Trevolry" takes "vloxemortserum" in an attempt to predict the future.
If "vloxemortserum" is a terrible misspelling of veritaserum, the most powerful truth potion, then it would make sense for a seer to take it so much that they became addicted to it. That is, if it enabled someone to speak truths that they did not know, it would be the perfect tool for prophecy. Makes her addiction to it a form of Fridge Brilliance, really.

"Severus," who rescues everyone from "Snap" at the end of chapter 30 is Snape's abusive muggle father.
Because it makes more sense than the original story does.
  • Wait, I typed that backwards. Snap is Severus' father according to this theory.

Draco is a Star Trek fan
In one of the later chapters Draco supposedly "put his spock in [Ebony's] you-know-what". Since there is so such body part as a spock, perhaps Draco owns a Spock action figure and used that to penetrate Enoby? Either that or Draco named his penis Spock after the character...

Snap is a good guy.

Which means that unknown to Ebony and possibly everyone else in the story except Dumbleydore, everything he's done so far is a ploy to gain Voldemort's trust and execute some master plan to get rid of him. The few direct hints at this that we get is his letting Ebony and Draco off the hook for screwing in the forest, and his past self being goffik.

Hey, Rowling played the same plot twist with the same character twice in the actual series. Why can't Tara do it once?

Wormtail became Snaketail because it's more goff that way

Since Satan was disguised as a snake in the Garden of Eden, snakes are inherently goff. Way more goff than plain old worms, obviously. (Perhaps Tara wasn't aware of what you get when you spell it wyrm, with a Y.)

Tara is not a goff. Goffs are only a symbol for the downtrodden.
It reads so much like a typical American high school novel, except the goffs and violence. Since Tara mentions emo rather than goff bands and makes blunders (saying The Nightmare before Christmas is goffik) she probably googled some bands that put on black and white makeup and labelled them as goff. But why use goffs against the preps then? Angered by bullying from preps at school, Tara retaliates by writing an escapist fic where the dorks rule. But she couldn't just make them dorks or ordinary kids, that would be lame. Why not make them goffs and Satanists instead? she reasoned, and thus My Immortal was born. It's all an allegory for social dynamics really. Besides, at her age she couldn't make the downtrodden resemble real sympathetic characters, so she made them into goffs so readers could identify the rival factions more easily.
  • Having an alternate ideology makes you look cool and profound.

The veil will bring Serious to the Kid Icarus universe
Where he will live up to his nickname.

The Marauders in the Ebonyverse are different.
While the origins were the same, Lupin left them early on. Searching a new purpose, they became an all-Animagus band.

The members:

James "Samaro" Potter, who figured as a nickname this was a bit more inconspicuous than "Prongs".

Sirius "Serious" Black, ditto.

Severus Snape, nicknamed "Snake" because his Animagus form is... a snake.

Lucius Malfoy, nicknamed "Luscious" because... well... because... uh... they think ferrets are sexy?

Hedwig, whose Animagus form is an owl. He later accompanies Harry as a pet, similar to Scabbers with Ron in the original canon.

Also, the Potters' secret keeper was either Snape or Hedwig (explaining the need for the latter to stay hidden as an owl.)

Wormtail was kicked from the Marauders/band because he couldn't sing.

"Brittany" is Luna Lovegood
Enoby always wanted a blonde enemy called Brittany so she just started calling her that. And Luna went along with it because, well, she's Luna.

Voldemort forced Snap to read Romeo and Juliet
This was the only book Voldy had for ten years in exile, and he ovbviously got 'realy' into it ("I hath telekinesis!"). When he got back he forced his minion to read it as well.

And Lo did Snap discover Romance. He let Draco and Enoby run off after Draco declared his love for her, and he didn't even punish them when Draco ran into the class naked after her and started to tell her he loved her: Snap is shipping their tragic romance!

  • He also discovered how sexy werewolves can be *cough*Twilight*cough*

Loopin has vorarephilia
In My Immortal, Loopin has demonstrated (or is accused of) several sexual deviancies, including pedophilia, necrophilia, exhibitionism and voyeurism. In canon, he is a werewolf.For this reason, he masticated to bathing Ebony.

Willow and Draco are both ghosts
At least, they turned into them after their apparent deaths. Everyone has been wondering how Draco and Willow both just showed up alive in the next chapters, and this is why. Hogwarts has ghosts, and even though they don't show up in the fanfic, it's not completely unreasonable to say that, in the story's canon, there are none.

This is why nobody was surprised to see both of them alive right after they were said to have died.

This is also why she suddenly decided she liked Willow again- as a Sadistic Satanist Slytherin Vampire Goff, Ebony likes death. And thus, when Willow appeared as a ghost, she thought it was awesome, and decided to be her friend again.

As for how she and Draco could still have sex, well, it's My Immortal. Everyone and everything seems capable of sex.

Crab and Golye are adopted.
Since they don’t have orange hair unlike the other Weasleys, they must be adopted by them. Makes sense, no?

Dumbledore is Draco’s sire
In one chapter, Draco refers Dumbledore as his sire. Maybe Dumbledore is a secret vampire who turned Draco into one. We guess that siring (aka turning a mortal into a vampire) may actually exist in the My Immortal-verse after all.

Voldemort is a dog

No, really.

Think about it: people call him the Bark Lord, the "Crookshanks" spell made him fall off his broom...

He is described as a person, but he could be an Animagus.

Events happen one after another without explanation. Odd names are associated with familiar characters - sometimes many names for a single character. Some articles of clothing in the fic don't exist in Real Life - for example, leather fishnets. And that's only the start.

  • Though in the case of leather fishnets, they could be one of the things made possible by Hogwarts magic. After all, chocolate frogs that actually jump around don't exist in real life either.

Ebony doesn't actually travel to the past
She actually just projects herself into the mind of Tom, thus altering his perceptions and filtering the world through her own viewpoint. This explains his knowledge of the future and why she can't be killed. In his new state Tom causes changes to history that make the world into the crazy wannabe goffik nightmare from Ebony's time, thus allowing her personality to be formed into what it is and go back into hsi mind to make the changes. Stable time loop created through the use of the Pensieve ad Time Turner together.
  • Did you just make a coherrent guestamation about My Immortal in a way that is actually plausible and sheds light on the story?
  • But how do you explain Dumbledore remembering his meeting with Enoby in the past? And he calls attention to them being "stupid goffs." And how she saved Lucian's arm. Unless Ebony is projecting herself into everyone else's mind and the world is also changing.

It's All Just a Dream on the part of one of the canon characters.
They might've released the books under fiction, and someone had a bad dream after reading some very weird Fan Fic involving a Mary Sue.

There are no Groundhog Day Loops.
What she was actually going for was the same thing you see in the beginning of books and sometimes the beginnings of acts, where you have an excerpt from later on as a way of enticing people. She just handles it as well as she does everything else, so it comes off instead as incredibly clumsy and appears to be part of the story.

Think about it. Voldemprt (Yes, I spelled that right) could travel though time, and Ebony does so later on. Notice how all the Groundhog Day Loops somehow involve Volxemort.

Voldemort is grooming Enoby to take his place as the Dark Lord.
Think about it: she's certainly dark and evil enough. She just needed a little incentive to turn her from a lazy Jerk Ass into the powerful, har-working witch she becomes later on. He saw potential in her.

Vampire is Ebony's Replacement Goldfish for Draco.
Think about it. There is very little physical evidence that she like-liked Vampire before Draco was kidnapped (besides one observation on his looks). When she finally screws him, she mentions before-hand how he looks exactly like Draco. She keeps him around as a love interest because she has a fear of being left without Draco. (Once, when he screams that no one understands him, Ebony is very hurt and freaks out.)

Hogwarts has a shortage of teachers.
Thus explaining why they're allowed to keep their jobs. I mean, they spied on a girl taking a bath, videotaped her, and had sex in the hallway. Not to mention, being against Enoby. Think about it.

Snap wanted Draco and Enoby to date.
Think about it. How do you explain him getting Enoby and Draco out of trouble in the earlier chapters? Either he's working for Enoby while pretending to be working for Voldemort while pretending to work for Dumbledore, or her dating Draco was important to Voldemort. And it is important for Ebony to be with Draco, so Voldemort could extort her.

The iPod that chonges into a time machine is a Transformer
Specifically, a new Triple Changer incarnation of Soundwave who was sent back in a bid to spread the Decepticon ideology to the wizarding world so the Decepticons could find a way to use magic as a new weapon against the Autobots. Unfortunately, the way interferes with technology caused him to be locked in iPod mode and sent his consciousness offline. When he chonged into a time machine, that was his consciousness coming back online and him regaining at least some of his ability to transform. However, he has elected to hide his true nature until such time as the circumstances are right to gain trust of Volsemort and the Death Dealers and take them to the future to aid the Decepticons. It is possible that the cideo camera/caramel is another transformer, who may also be mode-locked and unconscious/offline.

My Immortal is an alternate universe...
Where John Lennon survived being shot by Chapman (December 1980). After the assassination attempt, The Beatles, who were already discussing having one in our timeline, go on a Reunion tour. During the tour, they start jamming, write some songs and eventually collaborate on an album afterwards. Between experimenting with their styles and Lennon still recovering (mostly psychologically by this time) from the assassination attempt, it is a fair bit darker than their previous albums, hence "Goffik" in Ebony's eyes.

There's actually been a severe Ebola Zaire outbreak at Hogwarts, and this is the disjointed ramblings of a sufferer.
Think about it. The symptoms include irritability (explaining why everyone's so angry at each other), psychosis (explaining...well, everything, really), bleeding from needle sites or cuts (explaining how much blood flows out when Ebony slits her wrists), red eyes due to internal haemorrhaging (explaining Vampire's "red contact lenses"), occasional haemorrhaging from the eyes (explaining the Tears of Blood), petechia (perhaps explaining the odd makeup patterns), general malaise (explaining how depressed everyone is), and extreme and disturbing inflammation of the sex organs (explaining why the author says "thingy" and "u-know-wat"–she doesn't want to squick us out.) The story, which a sufferer believes to be her life's chronicle, ends abruptly when the author goes into the final stages of the disease, convulsing on the ground, gushing blood, virus, and bits of sloughed-off internal tissue everywhere before she finally, almost mercifully, dies. The only thing not explained here is that Ebola usually causes you to puke up massive amounts of food, digestive juices, and your own intestinal tissue. Then again, the author may have left that out in order to prevent her readers being squicked (like why she called genitals the above euphemistic terms), or else it might be an entirely different strain of Ebola that doesn't cause bloody vomiting.

"Azerbaijan" isn't a misspelling of "Azkaban"; Professor Sinister, Snap, and Loopin were all actually sent there.
  • More specifically, they were imprisoned in Al-Asad's safehouse. The remnants of Ultranationalist force sent to assault the village after Al-Asad's death saved them and sent them back to Hogwarts.

My Immortal is set in a Mirror Universe.
More specifically, a Star Trek-type mirror universe - good guys go bad, while the bad guys don't necessarily become "good" (although they view themselves as good, of course).Some character traits are "flipped", some are "twisted" to become darker.Look at the characters:

Draco is... actually a bit in character, but his dislike for Harry Potter comes from a different reason.

Harry is in Slytherin, which is just the House he was begging the Sorting Hat not to be placed in. He also hates Muggles.

The Weasleys seemed to be an intact family - now they're a complete mess.

Hermione was a Muggle-born bookworm - her My Immortal version never touched a book and has dead vampire parents.

Neville, the other option for the Chosen One, now has a backstory that is similar to what the Dursleys told Harry, the real Chosen One. Also - ever seen a clumsy vampire?

Dumbledore, who always seemed a little crazy, but in a good way, has a serious mental illness.

McGonagall seems to be her usual strict self, but then she hands over students for Snape to torture...

Snape, who used to favor Slytherin, now is in Gryffindor (which, in a strange way, even makes a tiny bit of sense) and hates Slytherin more than he used to dislike Gryffindor.

Lupin, whose lycanthropy has been taken as a metaphor for child abuse, now is a pedophile (says Ebony).

Professor Trelawney's drinking problem has been turned into a (sort of a) drug problem.

Hagrid was never expelled.

Professor Umbridge... well, just went completely off her rocker.

Mr. Norris and Filch - well, Filch used to be a Squib. Now he might very well be an Animagus, and so is Mr. Norris.

Voldemort, who has always used others to get to his goals, now is unable to do anything but that. Also, he cannot, in canon, feel love, but now is able to be seduced by Ebony.

Hedwig... I give up.

There can be more than one Chosen One in the Ebonyverse.
Due to the changes in the structure of the universe needed to make the events of the fic possible, the prophecy now doesn't limit the number of Chosen Ones.

Ebony becomes a Chosen One only during the course of the story.

How? Voldemort "marked her as his equal". Not with a scar or a bit of his soul, but by giving her a task he only trusts himself with otherwise - killing Harry Potter.

Ebony Found the Resurrection Stone in the Forest and that's why it all happened.

The story actually takes place after the final book. Ebony found the ring in the forest, which is why she can see characters who shouldn't be at Hogwarts in 2006. The only person remotely in-character was McGonagall, who was still there and very real.

Unfortunately, having such a powerful object drove Enoby insane. She's still in St. Mungo's, imagining all this happening.

The Ebony-horcrux fuck fantasy theory
WARNING: SUM OF DIS WMG IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VOIWER EXCRETION ADVISDOkay, that lame joke out of the way, here's my thought: At some point circa 1991, after the death of Quirrell, Voldemort's spirit was off elsewhere, and briefly was in America for fear his near-return would cause enough attention for someone to try and track him down. While there, a bit of his soul flaked off, kinda like it did with Harry, and made its way into a newborn American squib child. Probable named Marilyn Susan.When she was six years old, Harry Potter defeated Voldemort and the wizarding world was saved. Yay. Mary Sue heard many stories about his great accomplishments and the adventures of those around him, including Draco Malfoy, as the evilness of one last bit of Voldemort’s soul grew inside her.In 2004, at the height of the emo craze, Voldemort’s bit of spirit unleashes a terrifying hidden potential inside the girl. She has no real idea how the hell magic functions (again, she’s a squib) but wields ridiculous power. And, having had her sexual awakening, she decides she wants to have a crazy goffic orgy. So wielding all that power, she renames herself “Ebony”, goes off to Hogwarts and tortures everyone there into playing her insane game of pretend. Including random oddities like making Hagrid play both Hargrid and “Sedric”. It’s no wonder everyone’s always slitting their wrists: they’re being tortured to partake in this sick game!And, in a further ironic twist, the last piece of Voldemort’s soul is the Only Sane Man who has standards and has abandoned his plans on ruling the wizarding world to try and put an end to Ebony, trying to make amends for bringing that abomination into the world.

My Immortal takes place in the alternate universe from the Buffy episode "The Wish"
Vampires roaming unchecked? Check. Blood ubiquitous due to mass production? Check. Character named Willow wearing corsets constantly? Check. If the episode is anything to go off, vampires do tend to dress in a way somewhat closer to Tara's goff style when they aren't attempting to blend in with humans.

Since the first few Harry Potter books had been released by the time that the Master's vampires were beginning to branch out from Sunnydale (or, at any rate, california), when a school for wizards and witches is opened with the backing of the Watchers’ council to produce new magic users to combat the threat, Harry Potter characters and locations are used as code names for staff members, school associates and any of their relatives who attend the school or ever need to be referred to in official communications in order to prevent retaliation against their families. However, as several years have passed since the events of the episode, the Master has located the Gem of Amara with the help of Spike and devised a way to replicate some of its properties which, in combination with the ready availability of blood, allows vampires to masquerade as humans with startling effectiveness. Although stakes, decapitation and fire will still kill a vampire equipped with a lesser gem, sunlight, holy water and crosses, previously the easiest way to tell the dead from the living, are of little practical use. As such, even some members of the Hogwarts staff have been taken by surprise and turned without anyone's knowledge, including Snape and Lupin, who were in fact spying on Ebony to confirm their suspicion she was a vampire, as the plans involving her had not been initiated when they had last received information, since it is far easier for them to get information out than to receive it. When they are caught spying on Ebony, their crimes are overlooked due to the necessity of every staff member to the cause.

Voldemort is, of course, The Master, and turned Ebony before she even began attending the school; however, she struggled when she was being fed on and managed to hit her head quite badly. As the damage was done while she was still alive, when she awoke as a vampire she had suffered serious brain damage. When he approaches her and orders her to kill Harry, possibly the most promising, but as yet untrained, magical talent in generations, it is because he prefers to keep Snape and Lupin undiscovered in order to continue receiving intelligence from them. His threat to kill Draco is initially empty, as he has now realized that he needs some way to manipulate her since she has gone insane. However, Draco, who has come to care for Ebony despite her mental illness, is hurt when he discovers her feelings for Harry, believing Ebony’s story of Voldemort to be a delusion, and becomes incautious, eventually resulting in him being captured and turned. Ebony, of course, follows in his footsteps, imaging that she is accompanied by Harry, but is allowed to escape with Draco to further the plan, in hopes that only Ebony had noticed his absence.

Dumbledore is immediately suspicious when they return, but decides not to reveal his knowledge of the plan just yet, instead having them both carefully monitored until the opportune moment. Time passes; Draco slowly begins to experience the same weakening of resolve that Spike did when he had the implant, and falls deeper in love with Ebony while Dumbledore’s careful maneuvering prevents him from getting an opportunity to kill Harry. Finally, when The Master crashes the concert in Hogsmede, intended to raise the steadily declining morale of the school, Dumbledore is forced to fight him while the students flee, and after a lengthy battle, is turned himself. Several students, including B’loody Mary, are also turned in the chaos, but are able to rejoin the fleeing body of students quickly enough to not have it noticed or claim that Dumbledore had personally rescued them after everyone else had fled. He returns to school grounds claiming to have narrowly escaped with his life. From this point on, Snape and Lupin’s conduct is actively swept under the rug to protect his fellow operatives.

The Watcher’s Council notes the steep decline in the effectiveness of Dumbledore’s management of the school and takes control, but fails to realize he has become a vampire. Draco and Harry get in a fight over Ebony, with Draco restraining himself from killing him as he now cares more about his cover than the mission, but the fight is interrupted by news of a televised broadcast by The Master, revealing his latest advancement in vampire superiority. Ebony, however, still traumatized from previous encounters and still mentally ill, personalizes the messages and believes it is directed at her. When she begins complaining of visions, she is sent to Professor Sinister (Jennifer Calendar) to determine whether she is having genuine visions which could be of use or if her insanity has worsened. Initially the tests are inconclusive, but then she has a vision which saves the lives of rogue demon hunter Riley Finn and the tolerated-due-to-assistance-in-the-war-but-not-trusted chaos mage Ethan Rayne by not only revealing their danger, but by her somehow neutralizing the gems of the vampires they were cornered by. MUCH more detailed tests are run and her vampirism, her insanity, and the hitherto unknown fact that she has been unconsciously harnessing magic in a way no one had ever conceived of before are fully revealed. This revelation makes her a potential weapon to the Council, and the reason behind her insanity is guessed.

They begin rituals to attempt to focus her powers, which she perceives as time travel. When Snape and Lupin hear of this, they scramble to kill Ebony, Draco (Who has clearly chosen his side after the fight) and Harry, but are stopped in the nick of time by Calendar, Ethan and Riley. B’loody Mary turns Willow. Dumbledore attempts to sabotage the rituals. His sabotage is discovered, but he manages to frame Calendar. As the rituals finally begin to work, enough students and faculty have been turned by B'loody Mary and Willow for The Master to attempt to take the school by force. In the time since they were revealed as vampires, Snape and Lupin have been implanted with the newest initiative technology and are brought back by Britney, the current slayer, to provide intelligence. As Ebony’s powers begin to grow and become more conscious, the defense suffers a major setback when she incapacitates Britney, but she is retained as a weapon as there is little other hope of defending the school. Draco, realizing that he won’t be spared if the school is taken, has sex with Ebony in the middle of the great hall. No one stops them because they are afraid of a backlash from Ebony’s powers. The Master arrives personally to oversee the capture of the school and breaks through the wall of the great hall to begin the battle, but Ebony has finally been pushed too far, and her emotional distress causes her to destroy every replica of the Gem of Amara in the world. As the attack was made during the day, a large portion of the vampire host, including The Master himself standing in the hole in the wall he had created, are destroyed. Seeing victory achieved, Ebony, not realizing that she herself is a vampire and that she has destroyed her own gem, walks into the sunlight, with Draco powerless to stop her.

The Satan that travels through Tim with Ebony is actually Voldermort.

Due to the way Enoby was changing time, Volderemont's memories were changing in the present. He suddenly realized he recognized Eboby from somewhere and remembered how he started to fall in love with her. He decided to go see if it was truly the same Egogy and when he saw her in the outfit she was wearing from the concert where she jumped in front of the ballet, his fears were realized and he couldn't help but cry because Taebory has borken his hearth with her deceit.

When she went back in tim the final time, Volexmort followed her and took on the form of Stan to fool her and keep her from changing his history any more. While there he realized Tara was trying to hook him back up with Hedwig in order to preserve her relationship with Drago, so he played along, having some fun along the way. When they returned through tim, he had no need to keep up the ruse and just changed back in front of everyone in order to make a good entrance.

Draco never died by slitting his wrists, and that was the author's intent
"Snaketail" (who, as a reminder, is sixteen in this universe, and therefore possibly a student) developed a crush on Ebony from afar and kidnapped Draco to get her attention. He then delivered the fake news of Draco's death to Dumbledore. Dumbledore passed the information on to Ebony, having no idea Draco couldn't actually die by slitting his wrists (something the author very specifically tells us at the beginning of the chapter). The author intended for this to clue readers (and Ebony) in to the fact that Draco wasn't really dead, but that something had happened to him. This is why the fact that Draco is supposedly dead is never mentioned again, but replaced with him being kidnapped: the author meant for the audience to figure out that that's what really happened, and for them to know that Ebony would get that out of Dumbledore's announcement as well.

Draco has a Horcrux.
This would explain why he came back to life after slitting his wrists. However, who he murdered in order to survive is up to debate, although I personally believe that Draco himself was the person who was murdered to activate it:going on his canon interpretation (I know that means nothing here, but still), he would have been too cowardly to murder anyone else and instead murdered himself to activate the device. All of the previous steps needed had already been set up. Now, the question is, what is his Horcrux?

Hot Topic enchanted their clothing with the Imperius Curse.
It explains why the characters act so strangely when they're wearing Hot Topic clothing.

Nowhere in the HP lexicon is it said that the curse works on objects. Only sentient beings i.e. humans, spiders, etc.

That is all.
  • Of course! That's how I can get this awful thing out of my brain! <Sizzle> aahhhhhh....
  • I think the original poster meant the other sort of acid.
  • Why can't it be both? It's from a magic school, right?.

The word "goffic" is a portmanteau.
Of the words "gothic" and "fic". You know, like "saffic"? "Goffik" is a misspelling, which is consistent with the rest of the fic and therefore requires no explanation.
  • Or maybe of "GoF" (Goblet of Fire) and "fic", and the equivalent of goth culture is actually made up.

Alternatively, the word "goffic" is a entirely made up.
A 'goff' is not a goth, but part of an unofficial branch that Tera made exclusively for herself and her friends. She defiantly seems to have the ego to try and create an entire subculture all for herself. She's trying so hard to be unique and special (therefor better), she's doing completely pointless things to distance herself from the rest of us.

There IS no My Chemical Romance
MCR is and always has been Voldemort and the Death Dealers in disguise, and that is the band's proper name. They specialize in rock and Christian gangsta rap.

YOU are Tara.

Tara wrote the hacked chapter unintentionally.
After getting so many reviews that say her story was like she slammed the keyboard, Tara decided to show the prepz what an actual chapter would be if she actually did slam the keyboard. The result was what we call the hacked chapter, but in Tara's mind she thought, "no1 wil undrstnd dis krp lol its soooo kwaii wht im ding!!!!!!1111111111" and posted it online. We can only guess what would happen if Tara mashed the keyboard for the entire story.
  • If she used her head it would also explain why it gets even worse after that.

There are no more chapters because the fanfic destroyed itself.
There are many possibilites. The first is Ebony became such a Black Hole Sue, she literally became a black hole that caused the universe to collapse on itself. Another is an unintentional Instrumentality occured due to Ebony's ungodly Sue-ness stripping them of mind, body and soul. A third is the cosmos could no longer deal with Ebony's existence, and made war on itself. The fourth is the other characters realised what she really was, and killed her. And finally, its possible the fic gained sentience and killed itself out of horror for what it was.
  • This is honestly the best possible answer to why it ended.

Das niteMARE b4 xmas is a different film from The Nightmare Before Christmas.
Das niteMARE is a goffik tale about a first-generation German immigrant (Das) woman with an interest in horses (MARE) who promised her exasperated daughter that she would learn to understand her L33t L1ng0 (nite, b4) before Christmas (xmas).

A lot of the misspellings of places, products, bands, movies, celebrities, etc are not typos but Bland Name Products

A good version of My Immortal will be written.
Written by none other than Tara Gilesbe. What other way to screw with people's heads and prove you've improved/it was all a Troll Fic than by writing a decent version of My Immortal?
  • How would anyone know it was the real Tara who wrote the improved version? Everyone would think it was written by just another fake Tara.
  • Confirmed: My Immortal: Fifth Anniversary Edition (though, only spellchecked) was written, and its author was favorited by Tara so that's one nod towards genuineness.

The fake Taras aren't trying to steal her fame.
Tara realized that people would come after her after reading her awful fic, so after reading The Seven Potters she decided to follow suit, and get her friends to make fake accounts so no one would know which Tara was the real one anymore.
  • This theory implies that Tara can read.
  • Also, how can we be sure they're 'fake' Taras at all? It's not exactly an uncommon name, which is also one of the only things we know about her.

The story was written while drinking.
A few friends decided to write a fanfiction. The original idea was not that great, but as they got more and more drunk the story got worse and worse.

Think about it. Raven didn't get many reviews until Tara wrote My Immortal. To get attention she created another account as Tara Gilesbie and then wrote that atrocious blitzkrieg of spelling, grammar and obscenity, and then subtly pretended that she's Tara's editor. Obviously it made people go over to her stories and review them. My Immortal is really a publicity stunt. Proof: their likes, hatred of preps, even the characters are similar (Mary Sue).

The Costume Porn had an effect on Harry Potter canon.
You know the Justifying Edit on the main page that notes that Rowling never mentioned what Hogwarts students wear under their robes? Well, maybe the movie's costume designer saw this fic and didn't like what (s)he saw. Or to put it another way, the way Raven and her goff friends dressed caused Canon!Hogwarts to make their uniform policy stricter!

We can't enjoy it because we're all prepz.
The only way to enjoy it is to be Goff, whic requires goff clothes, which requires being goff.

The Morton's Fork can be gotten around
  • Tom Rid will only give you the goff clothes for free if you're a goff, but you can still buy some in Hot Topic, it'll just cost you. The formula for becoming a true goff is buying a wardrobe from Hot Topic, learning all the Goffic knowledge, and then moving to somewhere where they don't know your past, and making up a tragic backstory.

When he was banging the walls of reality, he ended up screwing up the Harry Potter universe. Thus, My Immortal was born.

Needless to say, Bad Horse was impressed at her innovative new approach to torture and gave her a nice starting position under Fake Thomas Jefferson.

The story is a Langford Basilisk.
If anyone was to ever truly understand the story in it's entirety, well, *tzzew*.

"Mastabating" means "building a Mastaba"

The author of My Immortal also wrote this message about ghosts on a Wikipedia talk page
"i saw it, it w0z a little girl nd she luked cute... except she woz DEAD!!!" Tell me that doesn't look like it was written by the same person.