"Abandon all hope, ye who enter here."
For the brave souls that decide to read this fanfic, here's a Drinking Game to help make it bearable, or perhaps fun... well, you'll get drunk, trust us. Play at your own risk.
Simple Version:
- Take a shot every time a word is mispeled, and pray to whatever god you believe in that you don't get alcohol poisoning before you're halfway through chapter one.
- Allow the people at your funeral to share each drink following your untimely demise.
- If you don't want to die, drink the entirety of the bottle, smash it, then stab whatever device you're reading the story on with its remains.
Pure R-OH Version:
- Take a shot every time Ebony "frenches" someone.
- Two shots whenever she does so "passively".
- Take a shot each time Ebony has sex.
- Take two shots each time said sex gets interrupted.
- Take two shots each time characters have sex without getting naked first.
- Take the bottle, screw the lid on loosely and pour yourself a shot by letting it leak out whenever Enoby takes off either her own underwear or her partner's underwear before actually taking off the rest of their clothes.
- Take a shot every time someone comes.
- Two shots if they come without even having sex.
- Take a shot for every time Tara misspells a word as a sexual term (e.g., "Sodomize moaned sexily"). Take another shot if said sexual term is spelled correctly.
- Take a shot every time the word "goffik" or its variants are used.
- Take a shot for each different spelling of Ebony's name.
- Take a shot each time a name from the Harry Potter books gets misspelled.
- Take a shot each time the narrative stops to describe clothing.
- Take a shot each time the narrative stops to describe someone's makeup.
- Take a shot each time an emo band gets mentioned.
- Take two shots each time an actual goth band gets mentioned. Remember, emo is not goth! In fact, most emo bands are actually quite "preppy".
- Come to think of it, take a shot every time preps—and Hilary Duff—are insulted.
- Take another shot when the "prepz" are flaming again.
- Take a shot every time My Chemical Romance's name is dropped mercilessly.
- And take a shot every time she comments on how hot a band member looks.
- Or how hot anyone looks.
- Or when she compares a character to a member of a goffik band.
- Two shots if you can't tell who it is because they've gotten their name misspelled or confused with another character's.
- Take two shots each time an actual goth band gets mentioned. Remember, emo is not goth! In fact, most emo bands are actually quite "preppy".
- Take a shot every time the cast goes to attend a concert of a "goffik" band.
- Take two shots if it's not really the band that's playing, but really "Vlodemort and da Death Deelers".
- Take another shot if no one cares that "Vlodemort and da Death Deelers" are playing instead.
- Take two shots if it's not really the band that's playing, but really "Vlodemort and da Death Deelers".
- Take two shots every time Draco runs after Ebony naked.
- Take a shot each time the word "fishnets" is mentioned.
- Take a shot with every bad pun.
- Take two shots with every non-pun that is followed with "geddit".
- Take a shot every time you see something redundant. For example:
And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black.
- Take a shot every time the word "black", its variants or misspellings is used.
- Take a shot every time a long word is rendered as a similar-looking word spelled correctly.
- Take two shots if this turns into an unintentional censorship, such as when "masturbating" becomes "masticating".
- Take two shots when that similar word spelled correctly is actually a harder word, spelled correctly. See: Azerbaijan.
- Take a shot each time Ebony gives somebody the "middle finger".
- Take a shot every time Ebony then stops to describe how she painted her fingernail during giving the finger.
- Take three shots every time Tara spells a five-letter-plus word correctly, without changing the intended meaning, after chapter 16.
- Take two shots every time Tara threatens not to update.
- Take a shit every time Tara accidentally spells a normal word as a swear word. (the best examples are Minister for Magic Cornelia Fuck, and Draco watching the film Hoes of Wax)
- Take a sip every time the word fuck is used. That includes misspellings of the word, and abbreviations of the it (for example: OMFG, WTF, OMFFG).
- Take a shot every time someone slits their wrists.
- And two shots if someone silts their ristz
- Or two if she drinks the blood from the slit wrists.
- Take a shot every time Tara uses the word 'depressed' or its variants.
- Take a shot each time suicide is mentioned.
- Take a shot each time there's an author's note.
- Take two shots for every time the author's note involves the author threatening to self-mutilate in some way.
- Two shots if it's not at the beginning or end of the chapter.
- Three if it's in the middle of a sentence.
- Take a shot each time someone makes a dramatic entrance (remember, Rule of Perception).
- Take a shot for the adverbs "sexily", "gothically", "seductively", and "suicidally". (Two shots if the word is spelled correctly)
- Take two shots for the adverbs "angrily" and "sadly". And, yes, "sandly" counts as "sadly".
- Three shots if the actions being described do not fit the adverb (e.g., Draco "crying sexily," etc.)
- Take four shots every time two entirely contradictory adverbs are used to describe the same action (e.g., B'loody Mary shaking her head "energetically lethargically")
- Take two shots for the adverbs "angrily" and "sadly". And, yes, "sandly" counts as "sadly".
- Take a shot every time Tara says "da" instead of "the".
- Take a shot for each Freudian Slip where Ebony is accidentally referred to as Tara.
- Take another if this involves Tara misspelling her own name.
- Take a shot each time somebody cries.
- Sip a Bloody Mary each time someone cries tears of blood.
- Down the Bloody Mary every time Ebony slits her wrists.
- Take two shots if she drinks the blood.
- Take a shot every time she refers to her "Thingy" or her "you-know-what".
- Down a Bloody Mary every time Herm... er, I mean "B'loody Mary Smith" is mentioned.
- Drink the whole bottle if anything happens that actually makes any sense in Harry Potter or in the real world.
- Take a shot every time we have an overly long Dramatic Pause, as in:
It was................ Dumbledore!"
- Even better, take a shot for each set of ellipses.
- Wait half a second for each dot in the Dramatic Pause, chugging as much as you can during the pause.
- Even better, take a shot for each set of ellipses.
- Take a shot for every '666.'
- Take a shot for every time Tara mentions "Raven".
- Take a shot every time Tara actually names a chapter.
- Take a shot every time anyone wears leather.
- Take a shot every time you see "Satanist" or any variation of it.
- Take another shot for every "Oh my Satan!"
- Take a shot every time Tara improperly uses a Japanese word.
- Take a shot every time Tara says "and everything" or "and stuff."
- Take a shot every time there is a 1 where there should be an exclamation mark ('!').
- Do NOT turn the strings of ones into actual numbers, decimal or binary, then take that many shots. You'll be dead inside of ten minutes doing that.
- Take a shot every time a Harry Potter character goes by a different name, not including misspells of their real name.
- Take a shot every time a character that was supposed to be dead comes on the scene.
- Take a shot every time a gun is mentioned.
- Take two if the gun is fired and kills no one.
- Take four if the gun is a knife.
- Finish your drink if a wand is actually used instead.
- Take a shot every time someone is called a "bich," or any variant.
- Two shots if it's a compliment.
- Take a shot every time someone is out of character.
- Finish your drink every time a Harry Potter character is actually in character.
- Take a shot every time the word 'anyway' is used.
- Take a shot every time "fangz" is substituted for "thanks."
- Take two shots if "skull" is substituted for "school."
- Take another shot if Tara comments on it.
- Take a shot if someone comes in or leaves on a broomstick.
- Take another if they leave without a broomstick after entering with one, or leave on one when they didn't have one before.
- Take a shot every time someone cries.
- Take a shot everytime someone gasps.
- Use a measuring cup to pour out 1/4th cup of your drink of choice and shoot it right out the cup whenever a character does something "Statistically"
- Take a shot whenever Tara inserts an author's note directly into the story.
- Take a shot every time Draco sings a song to Ebony.
- Take a shot every time Tara uses text-speak abbreviations (for example, 'ppl' for 'people').
- Take a shot every time Ebony actually acts like a vampire.
- Take a shot for every overly long ellipsis.
Distilled Version:
- Take a sip every time a new misspelling debuts.
- Two if it's Ebony's name.
- Two if it's an original Harry Potter character's name.
- Two if it's spelled correctly as something other than what was meant.
- Two more if that "something other" was a swear.
- Take a sip for when goffs or goff/emo/rock musik are promoted, or prepz, prep/pop music, or the readers (for being prepz) are bashed.
- Take a sip for every redundant detail.
- Take a sip for every unusual adverb.
- Take a shot for each time a scene stops to describe clothing, makeup or general appearance.
- Take a shot for each instance of out of place technology.
- Take a shot for each time a character has a new background.
- Take a sip for each reference to Satanism, vampires, or the various misspellings thereof.
- Take a shot for every "pun".
- Take a shot for every personal Author's Note.
Lazy Version
- Take a shot whenever you feel like it.
And finally, if you're reading or listening to a reading, stop and do something else each time the "story" gets too much for you.
—-
You won't make it to the halfway mark. Beware of possible alcohol poisoning. If you go for a non-alcoholic variation of the game, be within quick reach of a bathroom. For water drinkers, beware of water poisoning
.
There's also a sequel to My Immortal! Written by a so-called 'friend' of Tara's, as seen on her profile. You can also do this same drinking game with that...but with a different main character/author insert.
xXxChronicles of LifeDeathxXx
