- The tutorial is just full of funny moments.
Stitches: He right! No taste terror!
- Right at the beginning, Uther gives Raynor a bombastic welcome to the Nexus while introducing himself... and then Raynor asks if it's the same as a Protoss Nexus, completely killing the moment. Uther even give a weary sigh before he continues.
- When Raynor asks if Uther plans on lending a hand, the old guy scoffs that he had to complete the same tutorial without help.
- Raynor arguing with Diablo about whether you can taste fear or terror (or feast upon it). And then Stitches, Diablo's teammate, agrees with Raynor.
Raynor: See? Stinky here gets it!
Diablo: (Frustrated roar) ENOUGH!
- The above ends badly for Raynor and he gets curb-stomped by Diablo and Stitches — then his respawn timer starts, just in time for Uther to explain how dying works.
- Raynor asks why they're doing all this. Uther just tells him not to think about it too hard.
- Sadly, this tutorial was phased out with V2.0. It will be missed; it was hilarious.
- Nazeebo's voice to cast Zombie Wall. Occasionally, thanks to the tune, sometimes it's like conveying about someone with his accent just falling off from a cliff...
- If you own Sgt. Hammer, sit on her page in the shop for a while. If you wait long enough, she'll start humming Ride of the Valkyries. Doubles as a Continuity Nod, since the tune is a Stop Poking Me! line from Starcraft 1.
- During summer of 2015, players started asking for a swimsuit skins for some characters, most notably Nova. Blizzard ultimately listened and made a bikini skin... for Stitches. Needless to say, fans needed a lot of Brain Bleach.
- 2017 brought in swimsuit skins for Tychus and Tracer. They (obviously) involve a lot less Fan Disservice, but are pretty silly nonetheless. Both use super soakers instead of guns, Tychus is wearing a banana hammock and his teleport animation involves him lathering up with suntan lotion, while Tracer's Pulse Bomb looks like a water balloon. Oh, and there's a bunch more Bikini Stitches tints for good measure!
- It got its own trailer, in the style of a workout video from Tychus.
- 2017 brought in swimsuit skins for Tychus and Tracer. They (obviously) involve a lot less Fan Disservice, but are pretty silly nonetheless. Both use super soakers instead of guns, Tychus is wearing a banana hammock and his teleport animation involves him lathering up with suntan lotion, while Tracer's Pulse Bomb looks like a water balloon. Oh, and there's a bunch more Bikini Stitches tints for good measure!
- Due to the Fan Nickname "Azmodunk,"note videos have been made on the subject. Fans have even asked for a basketball-themed skin in tones reminiscent of "Shut up and take my money!"Azmodunk: Dude... welcome to my jam!
- If you have effects turned on high, those killed by Azmodan's fireballs get launched into the sky before crashing down dead. It's both hilarious and awesome. Same goes to Kael's Pyroblast heroic, Tracer's Pulse Bomb, Malthael's Last Rites, and a lot of other "big boom" abilities.
- Whether on high or low settings, Misha's death ragdoll will always pop into the air and flip backwards dramatically, in the same fashion every time. How funny this is depends on whether she died to a nuke, literally or otherwise, or to something as small as a minion.
- When you are in-game, try typing /dance to make your character dance. The dance animation runs the gamut from awesome to hilarious. Some highlights:
- Abathur doing The Worm.
- The Butcher swinging around and "singing".
- Sylvanas imitating the Shake Senora scene from the end of Beetlejuice, including her floating in the air.
- Genji dancing to the Ninja Rap.
- Probius doing disco moves, complete with music added in.
- Ragnaros hula dancing.
- Zeratul summoning a boombox and breakdancing.
- Malthael bobbing his head like Jim Carry to What Is Love.
- Tychus doing a... rather familiar dance.
- Qhira breaking her sword into a DDR mat.
- Johanna when clearing a Merc camp makes one remember a certain white devil:Johanna: Let's befriend those mercenaries.
- Even funnier when you realize that Crusaders have a tendency to say "Have words with them" in place of "Beating the living crap out of them". 'Befriend' is pretty much the same thing.
- Cho'gall has the option to, instead of riding a horse, carry the horse to speed up!
- Usually, when your entire team is wiped, one of your teammates will attempt to reassure or inspire the others, or express anger or irritation. However, some in particular are downright hilarious:Kael'thas: This.. is not a defeat.. It is merely a setback.Alarak: Ugh! You are all unworthy of my leadership!
- It's worth reading some of the Skins' description in shop. Most of them are standard fare, but some can be quite hilarious in description.Sugar Plum Sylvanas: Sugar and spice? Maybe. Everything nice? Not by a long shot.
Ringmaster Greymane: So a Ringmaster that's not only a lion tamer, but also the lion? Well, that's a done deal, my friend.
Archangel Diablo: Brings a whole new meaning to "Holy Terror".
Azmodunk: In the deepest recesses of the Inferno lies the Burning Court, a realm with a single edict set by the first Hoop-Lord: "Thou shalt slam with the best, or thou jammest with the rest."
Widowmaker Nova: Once, she led a normal life... but now, after intense neural reconditioning, she is one of the most effective assassins still alive. Oh, and this skin makes her look like Widowmaker.
Pajamathur: Upon occasion reality appears unsuitable. Desire for absence occurs. Inhibit ocular reception. Internally visualize. Possible for current location to alter. Make dreams come true.
Lil' Ragnaros: YOU FOOL! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SUMMONING ME TOO SOON? I DESPISE BEING ADORABLE!
Ymirjar Lord Muradin: To siege Icecrown, the Ashen Verdict forged the most powerful armors crafted by man... Meanwhile, Muradin stole a Ymirjar Lord's armor, and kicked everyone's arse.
Winter Veil Lunara: Lunara the festive Dryad, has a very pointy spear. And if you ever see it, you should prob'ly run in fear.
Ribbit Lucio: Hip. Hop.
Sir Murkalot: Johanna's apprentice may be small, but he doesn't take any carp.
Creepie Chromie: This is definitely the darkest timeline.
Marshal's Outrider: No one can outride a Confederate Marshal's Outrider! Unless they have a car or something.
- Same goes for mounts.
Zebra: While zebras are in the equid family, they're technically not horses. I'm just sayin'.*
Treasure Goblin: This wiry treasure enthusiast easily makes for the fastest mount in the game... Unless it's carrying someone on it's back, then it moves exactly as fast as the other mounts.
Saddled Horse: The earliest known saddles date back to between 700 and 500 BC. Didn't think you'd learn something while looking at the Saddled Horse's backstory, did you?
Undead Horse: Beats a dead horse every time.
Butcher's Beast: Fitted with furnace plates, this battle beast was made to be ridden by The Butcher himself. Of course, if you want to throw someone else up there we won't stop you.
2016 Championship Banner: Why hang your championship banner from the dusty ol' rafters? Ride on top of it, and lord your victory over your foes instead!
Magic Carpet: Hop on, and I'll show you a whole new world. Hey! Don't you DARE close your eyes!
- Leave the store page open on Xul for long enough when you own him, and he'll take the time to take in his new surroundings.Xul: Hmm... Battle.net is a lot shinier than it used to be.
- Xul's apparently not entirely used to hearthing:Xul: I'm heading back to town... er, to the Hall of... whatever it is.
- What Valeera is apparently doing whenever she has to port back to base:Valeera: Hearthstone break!
- The fact that Probius exists. Like the "Azmodunk" meme, fans have been cracking wise about Worker Unit heroes since the game launched. Blizzard actually went there and made one.
- To make it even better, it's not just any Probe: Probius is the Probe from the Legacy of the Void opening cinematic. The community's made a lot of jokes about the Probe being the real hero of the battle for letting the Protoss warp in reinforcements; evidently, Blizzard agreed.
- It's entirely possible to pull a Russian Reversal with Probius in Warhead junction by killing an enemy Nova with a nuke.
- D.Va's Bunny Hop. In Overwatch, that's one of her emotes. In Heroes of the Storm, it's a Heroic ability! It's made so much better by the fact that the animation is completely unchanged, AND it gets a hilarious boing boing boing sound effect reminiscent of Super Mario Bros..
- In a particularly epic case of Artificial Stupidity, bots will attack D.Va's mech after she uses Self-Destruct. At which point the mech is both invulnerable and about to explode. It's not unheard of for D.Va to get multiple kills with a single Self-Destruct because the bots don't realize that they need to be running away.
- Gameplay mechanics also still recognize D.va's self-destructing mech as a player entity. It can be grabbed, knocked back and pulled or be uselessly struck by skill shots and abilities. More than one Stitches has outright swallowed the mech and turned himself into a walking time bomb running along side his allies or hooked one right into his team, leading to very embarrassing team wipes.
- Characters who can understand what Murky is saying are usually horrified or intrigued, depending on their alignment. Malthael on the other hand is completely blown away... because he finally found a mortal who understands him. That's equal parts hilarious and disturbing.
- While it's possible for Malthael to kill him using his other abilities, Murky's low health pool and high health regeneration allow him to regain health while under Reaper's Mark.
- Usually when Abathur uses Ultimate Evolution to clone a hero, it's very offputting hearing them try to mutter iconic lines without much of the brainpower necessary. Lucio's clone, however, sounds almost like the man himself making fun of the clones.Lucio Clone: DROP... BEEEEAT...
- Garrosh's Wrecking Ball has the potential for some hilarious plays. Tossing a minion towards a near-death enemy to effectively Goomba Stomp them to death? Classic. And that's not even touching Into the Fray, which lets Garrosh toss his own allies in the same arc as Wrecking Ball. This includes D.Va's self-destructing mech.
- Dreadlord Jaina. Jaina secretly being a Dreadlord started as a running joke in the Warcraft community, in reference to her character 180° in Mists of Pandaria. Now, it's a skin for her complete with totally replaced voice-overs fitting her new look.
- Adding to this is the skin-exclusive emojis matching Dreadlord Jaina. There is another skin that syncs up to those emojis: Theramore Jaina, as in the same Jaina people keep referring to as a Dreadlord.
- The first time anyone sees Whitemane cast Inquisition on an enemy, probably no one expected that kind of laugh out of her.
- When she casts Clemency, a similar ability but that instead directly heals an ally, she lets a more half-hearted laugh as if she finds it a bit less fun to do.
- Following the above, D.Va the Destroyer. Many thought Deathwing was going to announced in the Hanamura cinematic when it turned out to be D.Va. So, D.Va got a Deathwing-themed skin.
- Following this, a spray was added to the game showing off the claw marks over the Hanamura door. The spray's name? D.Va Confirmed.
- And when Deathwing actually was revealed, Blizzard used that exact same image to tease him. On a sidenote, when Deathwing casts Lava Burst, for a split second it leaves three claw marks in a familiar shape◊.
- In a VS A.I. game (or possibly when A.I. replaces a human controlling this hero), Illidan will deliberately use his heroic ability just to kill a player-controlled Maiev. It doesn't matter if it gets him killed too with no tactical or strategic benefit.
- Warsong Johanna. Like Dreadlord Jaina, Johanna gains a completely new set of voice-overs (detailed in Johanna's Stop Poking Me! section below).
- The reveal that the Raven Lord's generals were all attractive female characters, combined with Kel'Thuzad pulling the same stunt the year prior, has lead to a rising number of jokes that Heroes of the Storm is turning into a harem anime.
- The Mechastorm II skins for Yrel and Valla are supposed to depict them riding Humongous Mecha, but thanks to Units Not to Scale, they're not any bigger than their normal selves. That is except for when inspected in the Collection. The robots are still normal sized, but the pilots are visible (Valla is standing in her hand, and Yrel is on her hammer) and are roughly an inch tall. The best part? If you spin them around, the pilots get dizzy instead of the mechs.
- Take a look at the Warchrome emotes. The Nova one has her sitting in a trashcan, and the shortcut is :trashsniper:.
- Abathur's attack responses are about as enthusiastic as you'd expect a Non-Action Guy like him to be.Abathur: Concern expressed.
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Trailers and Spotlights
- Character trailers usually show off epic moments or focus on telling a joke. But in the case of Jaina's trailer, it's BOTH. Jaina is just walking off normally while enjoying the tranquility and giving a speech about peace, but she keeps getting interrupted by the other characters trying to frag her. She just stops the interloper or tosses them away every time with her skills (Blizzard, Summon Water Elemental, etc), continuing her speech until everybody gangs up on her putting one last interrupt. She still froze them for the finishing touch.
- Muradin's intro video has him talking about his brothers, and mentioning that he might "feel a wee bit overshadowed... If I didn't kick so much ass!"
- The Lost Vikings' intro too. Let's see if you can suppress your amusement.
- The last part of Johanna's intro. After all those epic actions single-handedly swatting adversaries away with her flail (including big guys like ETC or Anub'arak), she just walks coolly and there's one minion trying to strike her. Johanna just punted it away without even looking, which may bring in mind the activity familiar to WoW player: Gnome-punting.
- Murky's trailer starts with Murky delivering (subtitled) exposition about a group of monsters who raised his village to the ground and mutilated the corpses of his people... only for the camera to zoom out and reveal it was a lowbie adventurer in World of Warcraft.
- Made even better by the over-the-top metal being played over footage of Murky's revenge, which is actually the riffs to "I Am Murloc" by E.T.C.
- Arthas has been made as the series punching bag; in most trailers where Arthas is in, it will feature him being attacked by said character. Most of the spotlight videos have him being the opposing hero to the spotlighted one, to which the featured character will use him as their own personal practice dummy to demonstrate their abilities.
- Not only that, but when you test-run heroes in the shop, he is your enemy in single lane; however you fight alongside Malfurion and Arthas' AI is made dumber than usual, so it's more often than not a Curb-Stomp Battle.
- In the Zagara trailer, you get a scene of Zagara delivering a speech about how everyone in the Nexus will be assimilated by the Swarm, heroes and villains alike, as the playable characters appear before her... and then Murky appears.
- The ending of Leoric's trailer. He declares that he'll only ally himself with people who will never betray him. His chosen allies? Illidan, Arthas, Kerrigan and Zagara. As soon as he says this, Illidan and Arthas glance over at him in a "Is he kidding us?" kind of way.
- The brief shot in Stitches' trailer after he finds the Nexus that shows him joyfully riding a comically-small unicorn through a Candyland beneath a double rainbow.
- At the end of Rexxar's trailer, you can catch a shot of Misha chasing Arthas across the screen. The Lich King can't catch a break in these trailers, can he?
- Lt. Morales' trailer is all about how healing and check ups are awesome. But she even ran away in disgust after healing Infested Tychus...
- The BlizzCon trailer has Cho'gall playing RockPaperScissors against himself. Gall plays rock while Cho plays scissors, so Gall punches Cho with the fist as Cho says, "Prepare for trouble!" Another round is played, where Cho plays paper while Gall plays rock again. As Cho realises he won, he slaps Gall, who add, "And make it double!"
- Chen's Trailer has him side step Diablo's charge, causing him to run right off the pier they were on.
- Blizzard sadly announced new Heroes would not necessarily get a trailer (for instance, Lunara only showed up dressed as a reindeer during Winter Veil rather than having her own cinematic), but that doesn't save Arthas. For the Lunar Festival, there's a line of people who have scores to settle with the Lich Kingnote . Captured here◊.
- During the "Love is in the Air" trailer, Zagara was scouting for her Valentine prospects from Azeroth. Well, they have hilarious profiles, if you pause the video to read it:
- Likes: FREEDOM! ORGRIMMAR! And gorgeous golden-tressed wizardessnote
- Dislikes: Blood-curses that taint the spirit of my people. Lich Kings. The Burning Legion. (Seriously hate those guys!)
- I'm looking for: Nobody who consorts with demons, sorry — too much drama. Must love dire-wolves.
- Likes: Eldritch power. A good, soft bandanna that doesn't chafe. Revenge.
- Dislikes: Crazy chicks who wants to lock you up for thousands of years. Having my motives questioned. Girl-stealing brothers.
- I'm looking for: Is this some kind of joke? Seriously? How DARE you, you have NO idea what I've been through!
- Likes: Gold. Constructing incredible feats of engineering that don't blow up 'till I want'em to. Uhhh, did I mention gold? And a little respect go a long way.
- Dislikes: Gnome-engineers (coughHACKS!cough) jokes. When my tech goes kablooey. Not gettin' paid.
- I'm looking for: Somebody who don't mind goin' dutch. It ain't that I'm cheap... well, okay — I'm cheap. Guilty as charged!
- Anub'arak (Note that his profile picture uses his Lovebug skin, as does Anub'arak himself.
- Likes: Disco! (Hey, you know you like it!) Slaying blood elves. And humans. And Orcs. And Nerubians. Huh — slaying in general, I guess. Long relaxing scuttles on the beaches. Subjugating others.
- Dislikes: Serving ruthless, demanding masters. Hey, Lich King — I'll call if I feel like it! Being deceased.
- I'm looking for: A female with 6 to 8 legs. Must love children... thousands of children.
- After seeing Anub'arak's profile Zagara blushs and makes a sound like giggling as her expression says, "Sold!". She also says "Eww" when seeing Gazlowe's profile.
- Dehaka's apparently a fan of Drake:
- Trailers are back for Tracer, which has Tracer Squee! over the Nexus. However, the last shot is Tracer posing with Nova... who suddenly switches into Widowmaker, startling Tracer and claims that it's not funny. It's funny for us though.
- Chromie's trailer is straight up adorable and filled with laughs.
Ehh, don't worry. That's gonna get nerfed.
- When she first shows up, she gives an adorable roar in her Gnome form. At the end of the trailer, she rewinds time and we see her roar in dragon form as well.
- Calling back to Stitches' trailer, we see Chromie reversing time and showing his unicorn-riding gallop through a field backwards.
- This line from Chromie's trailer when she unleashed a rather OP explosion:
- Her trailer begins with her narrating "In the beginning..." as a scene from the Cataclysm trailer plays. Then it stops (complete with VHS visual and sound effect) and she says, "wait a second." Then she narrates "In our Darkest Hour..." as a scene from a Starcraft 2 trailer plays, only for her to stop herself (with VHS sound and visual effect again, and say "too far, way too far". With the video then rewinding to the Blizzard logo.
- The Spotlight for Gul'dan explains balancing between healing and self-damaging for mana is key to playing him. Overuse of Life Tap is demonstrated by Abathur slapping Gul'dan to death then dancing.
- The demonstration of Gul'dan's Horrify heroic has him casting it on Diablo two separate times. There's just something amusing about watching the Lord of Terror fleeing in terror.
- The Azmodunk skin got a trailer. Good luck keeping that straight face.
- The Machines of War trailer has Alarak battling it out with Queen of Ghosts Kerrigan while throwing in generous amounts of Evil Gloating, leading to this exchange after he forces her down a pit:Alarak: Oops. I expected so much more.
(Kerrigan levitates out of the pit)
Kerrigan: Ugh. Do you ever. Shut. Up?!
- Lucio's Spotlight video features a brief shot of him playing music, with three other heroes jamming to it - Zarya, Tracer... and Abathur.
- Probius. A Protoss Probe?!
- In the middle of the trailer, Probius wonders who slaughtered the entire team. He then spots Lil'Ragnaros. A beat, then he has the idea to look behind him... and sees Dehaka, Cho'Gall, Azmodan and the Butcher.
- On a meta level, just about everyone was expecting either Karax or Fenix to be the next hero based on the teaser given prior to the trailer's release, to the point that the Twitch chat in the tournament game prior to the reveal was filled with 'show Karax' and 'show Fenix'. Then a Probe appeared.
- While it's from his spotlight video and not his reveal, there's a short spot of Probius center stage at a dance party.
- At the very end of Genji's hero spotlight, we get this gem.Genji: You need healing.
- "Hey y'all out there. If you're gonna get through the summer, ya need stamina. Ya need strength. You need Tychus Findlay's 'Bust Your *ss' Workout!"
- Yes, complete with Censored for Comedy.
- Obey the Call is mostly just badass, but Hammer jumping out of her tank and socking Zagara in the face is kind of hilarious.
- Kel'Thuzad's spotlight video ends on the narrator reading out his extensive list of titles, which goes on for so long that Kel'Thuzad himself gets visibly annoyed about halfway through.
- Also, one of his titles is "Hearthstone Enthusiast".
- Dragons of the Nexus. It's subtle, but Hanzo's arrows harmlessly ploinking off of Alexstrasza after she becomes a dragon is kind of amusing, especially with him still trying to do cool trick shots and ninja moves.
- It may be unintentional, but it's pretty funny how Hanzo is completely useless until he one-shots Alexstrasza with his ult.
- Blaze's trailer is a live-action scene of Winter Veil Jaina building a snowman... before Blaze comes in to "turn up the heat".
- Deckard Cain's spotlight shows him off, as per usual...and then you get to the Heroic Abilities section. Yes, he can bore the enemy to sleep with "Stay Awhile, and Listen." (His other Heroic summons a whirling "Lore-nado" of books and pages that pushes enemies away.) The fact that he exists in the game (like Probius) is funny in and of itself, and while some people may think he leans on the fourth wall a bit hard, his announcement stream at PAX East 2018 made clear this was entirely intended—the game is both a serious e-sport title and a love letter to Blizzard's franchises.
- Alterac Pass's Overview is fairly standard, with Cloaken presenting the map as usual, until the end of the video.Cloaken: Will you join the Alliance in an effort to control this new realm? Or will you side with the Horde, just like every. Other. Barbarous. *pounding on a door* Unkempt. Brute!
* sound of swords clashing*
Cloaken: We'll see you in the Nexus! FOR THE ALLIANCE!
Unknown: FOR THE HORDE!
- Deathwing's trailer begins with explosions and increasingly-prominent characters either getting blasted fleeing in terror. It builds and builds until... Brightwing appears in a Deathwing skin. And then she gets promptly flattened by the real deal.
- Special mention goes to Abathur, watching it all from the background.
Stop Poking Me
- As with all Blizzard games, if you click the characters enough, you'll get some special lines. Also, if you remember, back in the early days, unique, non-generic hero units tend to have rather boring annoyed quotes while generic units get most of the funny ones. Here, it's what happens when the unique heroes are allowed to get loose.
- Keep poking Tychus and eventually he drops his cigar into his sealed Power Armor. Hilariously.
- The girls have differing opinions on heels.
- Valla hates it when she goes in without a follower:Valla: *sigh* This would be much easier with a follower. Kormac, where in the Burning Hells are you?
- Sometimes she just hates being poked.
- Kerrigan would like to remind you that being a Hive Mind isn't always a good thing.Kerrigan: The worst part about having a Hive Mind is knowing exactly how many of your zerglings are licking themselves. At Any. Given. Moment.Kerrigan: I'm a killer Queen, guaranteed to blow your mind.
- Arthas wants to correct a pronunciation error.It's LICH King, not "Lick" King. The two are very, very different jobs.
- Darkness is back.
Mal'Ganis: [phone rings] Yes? Oh, hello Darkness, my old friend! Have you called to talk to me again? (Beat) Ugh, no I still don't have the Demon Hunter's number. Ask the other one!
- First, Darkness wants to call his old demon hunter friend (Illidan), but it doesn't go smoothly.
Valla: [phone rings] Hello? Who is this? I don't know any Darkness. Look, I think you've got the wrong Demon Hunter. Yeah. Yeah, goodbye.
Crown Prince Arthas: [phone rings] I'm sorry, I have to take this. Darkness! How's it — Wait, what? Oh, yeah, there are a lot of demon hunters now. That was bound to happen. I agree, I agree, it's very confusing. Look, I gotta go, I'm in the middle of a thing here. Yeah, we'll hang out soon. Okay, bye.
Illidan: [phone buzzes] Hold on, Darkness just texted me.
Lich King Arthas: Darkness stopped calling. It's alright though, we are still friends through Real I.D.
- Darkness has also made a few new friends...
Malfurion: I sense Darkness in the dreamways... you know, I haven't seen him for a while. I should go say hello.
Zeratul: Darkness is my ally... but we keep it casual. The Void is a jealous mistress.
Leoric: Darkness follows me. I follow him, too... but he doesn't post much.
Kel'Thuzad: The Darkness guides me. He's the only one with GPS, after all.
Space Lord Leoric: Never underestimate the power of the Darkness. Seriously, don't, Darkness gets all passive-aggressive about it. Leaves little sticky notes everywhere.
- ... and a few enemies.
Li-Ming: I once cast Magic Missile into the Darkness... Boy, is he sore about it.
Gul'dan: I am Darkness Incarnate! Soon you shall all— [phone rings] Always the worst timing... I'm so sorry, hold on. [picks up] Who is this? Darkness who? Oh. Uh-huh. Mmh... okay. [hangs up] I'm being sued for trademark infringement. Now that's evil.
- Malfurion tries to make a joke. It work as well you can expect.Malfurion: Well this is a thorny situation. Get it? Thorny? Because I'm a druid! I am humorous.
Malfurion: I'm an archdruid, not a prophet! Get your lore straight!
Malfurion: First the antlers, then the hooves, now the crow wings? *sigh* I'm starting to understand how Illidan feels.
- He also comments on his appearance.
- For Irony point, Illidan's appearance in this game is his pre-transformation one (excluding during Metamorphosis).
- Sylvanas came out of the gate with plenty of these lines.Sylvanas: I have no time for games... but I keep ending up in them. Hmm.
Sylvanas: No, I will NOT sing for you. I'm a heartless undead ruler, not a music box.
Sylvanas: Look, I've been a high elf, a banshee, and an undead high elf, but I've never been a night elf. I don't do "bouncy"!
Sylvanas: No, I was never in Night Ranger, but I have an all-dead girl group called Banshee.
Sylvanas: The Wrath of the Lich King was nothing! Wait until you see the Wrath of the Banshee Queen.
- Sonya the Diablo III Barbarian has some quite funny lines for such a serious character.Sonya: You! Death by Snu-snu.
Sonya: [sounding hurt] Gingers do have souls, okay?!
Sonya: I keep killing but no loot comes out. This game makes no sense.
Sonya: I swear, the next person who names me Barbie on Battle.net gets an axe to the forehead!
Sonya: Hold on, hold on, let me write this down. Right-click moves... and right click attacks. What does left-click do again? Ugh, I hate learning new control schemes!
Sonya: If I ever find out who invented the Chainmail Bikini, I'm going punch their jaw off their face.
- She also complains about her status as a Reluctant Fanservice Girl:
Sonya: Ever had that nightmare where you are at work in your underwear? That's me. Every day.Sonya: Bul-Kathos, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one will remember why we fight, or why we die. All that matters is that five stood against five. I ask you, grant me one request. Improve my MMR! If you do not listen, then to Hell with you!
Sonya: Let's see, crush enemies, done. Drive them before me, of course. Hear the lamentations of their women... let's skip that one.
- Falstad gets in a few funnies as well.
- He'll have you know that he's never been dead.
- Made absolutely hilarious when you look into the Red Shirt Guy fiasco.
- And furthermore, he's annoyed about the proliferation of Flying in WoW.Falstad: In my day, it took serious dedication to ride a gryphon. Nowadays, even gnomes are doing it!
- He'll have you know that he's never been dead.
- Jaina explaining why shipping Thrall with her is impossible: she prefers blue (note Arthas wore blue prominently when he was fully human, and of course she wound up with Kalecgos in Tides of War), and the last two men who tried pursuing her ended up trying to destroy the world. So yeah, she'd rather just study — safer that way.
Jaina: I'm a sorceress... and a thumping good one, too!
- She cracks jokes about her magic.
Jaina: I put a spell on you, because you're mine.Jaina: By the way if you're holding on for a Frozen reference, just let it go. *gasp* Oh no, what have I done?!
- She also tries to cast a teleport spell but fails, in the end up making yet another reference.
- Nova can get a wee bit jealous of Kerrigan...Nova: Well all day long at Ghost Academy, all I hear is how great Sarah is at this, or how wonderful Kerrigan did at that. Kerrigan, Kerrigan, Kerrigan!
- There's also her trying to pull one joke and before she ever said a word, she abruptly got interrupted by a male announcer...
- Zeratul discovers another part of the prophecy. Sadly, it's not the one he's looking for.Zeratul: The prophecy foretells of the chosen one, one who will bring balance to the fo— oh, ho, woah; this is the wrong prophecy. That was a close one, we almost got sued there.
Zeratul: *sneezes* Wait, what just happened? How did I do that?
- A removed annoyed quote from Nazeebo at the Alpha stages has him complain about his knees hurt and then...Nazeebo: Bring me my cane.
Deckard Cain: [appears via Scroll of Town Portal] Stay awhile and listen!
Nazeebo: No, not you!
- Uther has something to say about the game cursor.Uther: What the-? What happened to that silver hand in the sky? Seriously, "Order of the Weird Space Triangle" doesn't have nearly the same ring to it.
Uther: By the way, a little bronze dragon told me about what you blood elves are planning to do to my grave. I'm not thrilled about it.
- Also, if you were hoping Uther doesn't know about what you and Mehlar Dawnblade got up to... he knows.
Uther: I mean, what do you think I carry this book around for? My health?
- Uther's church is the field of battle.
- And then there's Muradin.Muradin: Oh, no. Blizzard killed your favorite character. Well, don't fret! Odds are they'll be returning in an expansion or two! Trust me, I know!
Muradin: Look, I was never dead, alright? I was just restin' me eyes!
Muradin: You're the dwarf now, dog!
Muradin: I know it's a tragedy and everything but, me brother Magni does make a fine statue! All sparkly and stuff!
Muradin: Back when Brann were a wee dwarf, we'd always catch him looking at Explorer's Guild Magazine. Said it was "for the articles". Bah! We all knew it was really for the paintings of the Tuskarr women, ha ha!
- Tyrael.Tyrael: I'm sorry, did you say something? I was busy thinking about justice.
Tyrael: Fool! You have just ensured the doom of this world. You cannot even begin to imagine what you set in motion this day... HAAHAHAHAHA! Im kidding! I like to say things like that.
Tyrael: You are quite proficient at clicking. Diablo III might be right up your alley.
- Though some may see that last one as in poor taste due to what happened when Tyrael said that in canon...note
- He also has a unique way to advertise his own series:
Tyrael: Perfect Gem activated! note
- Three words that can send any Diablo 2 fan up the wall
Tyrael: Of course it hurt when I fell from Heaven. Wait, are you trying to hit on me?
- A pick-up line that doesn't quite work on him anymore...
- Apparently, Tassadar thinks Heroes of the Storm is a custom Starcraft map.note For that matter, it seems no-one told him about the changes to the Protoss units between StarCraft I and StarCraft II.note Tassadar: We must call for aid! Executor, bring up the Reavers! [...] What? What do you mean, we don't have Reavers anymore? Then... send the Dragoons! [...] *sigh* Then what do you suggest? *Beat* What's a Void Ray?!
Tassadar: En taro... me!
- He usually says, "En taro Adun!" like the Protoss did in the first game. But if prompted enough...
Tassadar: I have never tasted death... and since I have no mouth, I do not expect to.
- Tassadar also muses about tasting death.
Mecha Tassadar: Come on, Blizzard! Transforming Mecha Tassadar — you know you want to make it!
- Mecha Tassadar thinks he would make a good action figure. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
Mecha Tassadar: Primary purpose: Elimination of the Kaijo threat. Secondary purpose: Looking really damn cool!
Mecha Tassadar: Bah weep gragnah weep nini bong! It's a - what? What do you mean, Illidan did this joke? The elf? That does not compute! I AM THE ROBOT!
Mecha Tassadar: Transforming into a jet: awesome! Transforming into a gun: dumb!
Mecha Tassadar: Accessing mecha-Khala. (dial-up modem noise, chatter) Moooom, get off the line!
Mecha Tassadar: Domo arigato, Mister... ME!
- Some of Raynor's quotes.Raynor: It's funny. I ain't been a Marshal for years, but I always feel like there's a Magistrate looking over my shoulder.
Raynor: When the goin' gets tough, well the tough call on the good ol' Hyperion and blast the hell out of everything!
- As expected of the Lost Vikings, they have a lot of hilarious dialogues.Erik: Seventeen years of nothin', and they bring us back for a MOBA. Huh, figures.
Baelog: It's not a MOBA, it's a Hero Brawler!
Olaf: Hero Brawler! (Viking gibberish) You made that up!
Erik: Nope, but Blizzard sure did!
Baelog: Ugh, you guys are so getting us fired, you know that!?Olaf: Hey, you guys remember when we were in World of Warcraft?
Erik: *sigh* That was just a reference!
Baelog: Yes, Olaf. We're not dwarves, we're Vikings! Pfft... except for Erik... *titter* he's a dwarf!
Erik: Ohohoho... you take it back!Erik: Woo! How are you guys holding up? I think I need a bath.
Baleog: Bath? Vikings don't need no stinking baths!
Olaf: We don't need no stinking Vikings, either.Olaf: Aah, just so we're clear, I still have dibs on Erik's helmet.
Baleog: I get his boots!
Erik: Seventeen years, nothin' changes.
- Kael'thas has some funny things to say:Kael'thas: I sense something... elusive.
Kael'thas: I don't suffer setbacks. I revel in them.
Kael'thas: Hmmm.... yes... I'd Mana Tap that.
Kael'thas: They made Lor'themar Ranger General, really!? What next? Are the Blood Elves becoming part of the Horde?!
Kael'thas: Blood for the Blood Elves! Sun for the Sun King!
Kael'thas: This is your brain. Say hello, Brain.
- There's also this mini dialogue in parody of 'Your Brain On Drugs':
Kael'thas: And this is your brain on Fel Magic... (Casts Rain of Fel Fire on Brain)
Kael'thas: Any questions?
- Johanna demands to know...Johanna: Why are you clicking on me, and not our enemies, or loot? What kind of game is this?
Johanna: Click me one more time, and by Akarat, I'll cut off your finger! Or whatever else you use to work that little mouse!
- Don't poke her too much. She'll lose her temper quickly.
Johanna: O Akarat, bless this, thy holy flail, that with it, thou mayest smite thine enemies into tiny, tiny, unfathomably tiny bits, in thy mercy. Let it be so.
- And she's not the only one who prays for her God (though she doesn't tell said God about 'to hell with you' like Sonya). The prayer sounds a wee bit similar...
Warsong Johanna: You ever notice how orc questgivers can speak common, but orc adventurers can't? What's the deal with that?Warsong Johanna: What's going on here? Am I an orc Paladin? Is that even a thing? I'm pretty sure that's not a thing! I'm a Crusader? What's a Crusader? [beat] Right, how's that not just a Paladin? You know what? You know what? How about we just move on?
- Equip her Warsong skin for a whole new dose of hilarity. Her heavy armor and massive physique might just tip that fourth wall right on over.
- Anub'arak was supposed to be a Raid Boss but ended up being a Dungeon Boss, so if he hears the word "raids", he has a Freak Out.Anub'arak: RAIDS?!note
Anub'arak: Oh... did anyone catch the name of that guild? Paragon, was it?
- Many of Anub'arak's lines concern players in World of Warcraft repeatedly bothering him, but one group of players stands out:
- One of his annoyed quotes about the clicking sound a mouse makes doubles as an Ascended Meme:
- And then, of course, we have:
- Rehgar quotes the trope verbatim:Rehgar: I said stop poking me! I am definitely not that kind of orc!
- Illidan tries his Hamlet impression.Illidan: Alas, poor Gul'dan. I... never knew him at all, actually.
Illidan: Remember when wings, hooves and horns were strange for Warcraft? Ah, the good old days.
- He also reminisces about the days of Warcraft III.
Illidan: Does anyone else miss Chaos Damage?
Illidan: What do you mean, Blizzard added Monks before Demon Hunters?! Monks aren't even a real Hero Class!
- To WoW fans who were hoping to play as Demon Huntersnote and were displeased by the addition of Monks: don't worry — Illidan shares your pain.
- Leoric has a more negative view of the Nephalem who kill him in Diablo III than the questgivers.Leoric: Heroes? You mean those vagabonds who illegally enter my home, smash my jar collection, bring me to life just to kill me again and leave white items all over my floor? Oh yes, how very heroic.
Leoric: These old bones have but one fear left... osteoporosis.
- He also shares his only fear with the player.
Leoric: The leg-bone's connected to the thigh-bone, the thigh-bone's connected to the rib-bone, the rib-bone's connected to the shoulder-bone... I'm starting to regret taking these apart.
- Later, he tries taking himself apart and putting himself back together.
Leoric: It is a small but important distinction.
- Just remember, his title is the Skeleton King, not the "King of Skeletons".
- Diablo himself is pretty funny too.Diablo: Better to reign in the Burning Hells than to serve in the High Heavens!
Diablo: The Prime Evils can never be divided! Except by one... and Evil.
Diablo: Let's make a deal!
Diablo: You know, I'm not such a bad guy, really; I'm just misunderstood.
Diablo: Is it hot in here? You know what, it's probably me.
Diablo: Teerts eth gnissroc erofeb syaw htob kool nerdlihc doog. note
Diablo: In the afterlife, you're headed for some serious strife!
- Beware the Lord of Terror's temper — he threatens a persistent poker with karmic retribution.
Diablo: That's a nice soul you've got there. It'd be a shame if something happened to it!
- Azmodan has a warning for his demon underlings:Azmodan: Minions, remember: there is nothing more toxic, or deadly, than a Nephalem child. A single touch can kill you!
Azmodan: What?! How dare you refer to me as a Lesser Evil! ...I prefer the term "evilly challenged".
- Word to the wise: Azmodan is sensitive about his title.
- Abathur gets in on the fun with some of these.Abathur: Hmm... Abilities of organism Abathur well-designed. Uncertain will remain unchanged. Entity Blizzard notorious for iteration.Abathur: If evolution is product of design, is evolution... evolution? Hmm. Line of thought not productive.
Abathur: Symbiote. Not "bug hat."
Abathur: Perfection goal that always changes. Can pursue, cannot obtain. Similar to Ashbringer.
Abathur: Work harder. Better. Make faster. Stronger. Evolution never over.
- Kharazim gets some gems as well.Kharazim: I see you serve Soviyat, the god of poking people without end. He must be very proud of you.
Kharazim: You must defeat Shen-Long to stand a chance... and he's been dead for a millennium. Good luck.
- Should probably come as no surprise that Rexxar has quite a few good ones.
Rexxar: Huh? Uh, what I do in my off-time is my own business!
- Poke him enough, and eventually you'll catch him playing Hearthstone. Each of them is accompanied with music too.
Rexxar: By the way, every time you've ever been beaten by a Hunter, that was actually me.
Rexxar: Alright, break's over. Back to this, "Heroes of the Storm" thing.
Rexxar: *cough cough* My throat's getting a little hoarse. *horse neighs* Oh great, not this bull again! *bull moos loudly* Will you quit monkeying around?! *monkey noises, Rexxar sighs* Swine... *pig squeals*
- And he has some unrelated goodies as well:
Rexxar: You kids these days... The mask isn't supposed to be a bat, it's a wolf! And a dire one at that!
Rexxar: When I'm out there defending Thunderlord Stronghold from Alliance filth, I can't be battling with hunger as well. That's why I start every day with a big bowl of Meaties! The breakfast of champions... of the Horde!
Rexxar: I'm on the hunt, I'm after you!
Rexxar: Just to be clear, all the loot we get out of this is mine! I need it for... um... hunter reasons!
- Lt. Morales:Lt. Morales: Whenever I think about Earth, I realize how much I miss...everything. Even the bugs! They were so much smaller back home, you know?
Lt. Morales: Oh, this is the poking thing, isn't it? Think of something, quick! Dammit, I'm a doctor, not a comedian!
Lt. Morales: If someone asks, I always tell them healing is easy. It's exactly like killing, but in reverse!
Lt. Morales: Everyone always wants to Shoot the Medic First. That's what the giant life-regenerating shield is for. [...] Wait, isn't shooting a medic a war crime? Do the Geneva Conventions apply in the Nexus?
Lt. Morales: Listen. You can only be asked, "What's up, doc?" so many times before you start contemplating malpractice!
Lt. Morales: Marines love gossip. They always spread rumors, like that we use staple guns to close up wounds. Idiots. I use a nail gun! Staples are expensive!
- Artanis has quite a few, even including a tribute to his namesake.Artanis: This realm poses many questions, and few answers. [...] Were the Xel'naga involved in the creation of the Nexus? If so, they have left no temples, no new lifeforms. [...] Unless...those lifeforms were unseen, controlling us through some complicated digital mechanism, some sort of "Battle.Net," as it were! [...] Maybe even thousands of these lifeforms, all manipulating our lives at once! Aaah... All right, this is giving me a headache.
Artanis: Will you stop poking me? Go dispense your aggression on one of the orcs! See how they like it!
Artanis: By the way, I said that StarCraft wasn't just Warcraft in space. Whatever this "Heroes of the Storm" thing is doesn't count.
Artanis: Yes, my starship follows me wherever I go. It is like what you Terrans refer to as a "pet!" Only useful.
Artanis: What do you think of the new armor? My last one left me feeling a little... exposed.
Artanis: I've lived a life that's full. I've traveled each and every star array. And more, much more than this, I did it my way.
Cho: What do you expect from us? 'Two heads are better than one' jokes?
- Cho wants to know:
Gall: Better than none!
Cho: Awwww, shut up, will ya!
- Gall wants to tell a joke:
Cho: Prepare for trouble!
- Cho'gall tries to protect the world from devastation.
Gall: And make it double!Gall: Knock, knock!
Cho: Stop it, I said no!
Gall: Dang it, come on!Gall: Knock, knock!
Cho: *sigh* Oh, boy. He's not gonna drop this, is he? Fine. Who's there?
Cho: ...Cho who?
Gall: Cho Mama, ha ha!
Cho: We have the same mother, you idiot!
Gall: What shall we do today?Cho: The same thing we do every day, brother: try and destroy the world!
- They also engage in a Pinky and the Brain impression.
Cho: The Hour of Twilight is coming!
- A certain movie also gets mentioned.
Gall: Hour? It felt like three in the theater.
Cho: Ah, don't let them know that, brother.
Gall: Oh, right.
Cho: Will you stop trying to hit them, and hit them, brother?!
- Cho comments disparagingly on Gall's aiming skills.
Gall: Well, YOU try aiming with one eye!
Cho: Aaaaah... Silent, but world-destroying! *chuckle*
- Cho's worst deed yet:
Gall: *sniffing* What? What is that?! [...] Ooooh, terrible! Move! Move us away from here, you oaf!
Cho: *Evil Laugh*
- Lunara hearkens back to one of the Dryad's old poking quotes:Lunara: And then she said, "I'm so wasted, I'm so wasted!" And I told her if she didn't shut up right then I'd send her to the glue factory!
- Call Lunara 'Mylune'. We dare you.
- Li-Ming has few things to say:Li-Ming: I studied the ancient secrets of magic just to be annoyed by you! How did you know?!
Li-Ming: Is there anyone paying attention, or are you paying too much attention?
Li-Ming: My teacher always used to tell me that I was full of myself, but that can't be true. I can't get enough of me.
Li-Ming: I love this globe's power. It's so bad!
Li-Ming: This seems to be a good time to practice my "Silent" spell! [...]Let's see how you fare with this!! (Casts the spell) [...] Hmmm? Mmmmph!?! [...](Sprock! Sproing!) Ahem, I have... never made that mistake before. [...] If you speak of this to anyone, I will blast you into another plane of existence!
- And then she tries to cast a spell at the player:
Li-Ming: Isendra was a great teacher, but she always kept a secret or two to herself. I'm still not sure how she managed to teleport so quickly, and without a cooldown!
- She also muses over the changes in ability casting between Diablo II and Diablo III.
- Should come as no surprise that Xul has some good ones.Xul: There are only two things that are inescapable; death, and... hmm... You know what? I forget what the second one was. Let's just go with death twice.
Xul: The leader of the Necromancers is known as... The Death Speaker. Three guesses what he likes to talk about.
Xul: For the last time, a Necromancer does not romance the dead, that's a Necroph- you know what? Nevermind.
Xul: Maintaining the balance is difficult. But, you buff an angel here, nerf a demon there, and the job gets done.
- Maintaining the balance is apparently a pretty thankless job according to him.
- Dehaka has some of the best ones yet.Dehaka: I just flew in from Zerus, and boy is my arm tired. [Beat] Probably should've evolved wings.
Dehaka: Change, change! Spare some change?
Dehaka: We are the Zerg! Your essence will be assimilated! Resistance is futile!
Dehaka: Every evolution is a choice. Every change effects the final outcome. So, when the choice is yours, click on the right one.
Dehaka: So many different kinds of essence. Hundreds and more arise every year. Gotta collect them all!
Dehaka: Primal Zerg do not have a psionic connection. Do not need it. My pack has family texting plan.
Dehaka: A rival pack leader once tried to test me. I consumed his essence with Terran fava beans and a nice chianti. (sucking sounds)
Dehaka: Overmind tried to control the Zerg. To direct and harness evolution. Life will not be contained. No. Life, uh... finds a way.
Dehaka: I followed Queen of Blades to collect Essence. Travelled across sector, but left Leviathan only once, to destroy Terran machines. Should have been more proactive.
Dehaka: You think I change too much? No such thing. This is not even my final form.
- Space Lord Leoric offers some solid advice to up-and-coming evil emperors.Space Lord Leoric: If you ever build an impractical, phenomenally large super-weapon, don't skimp on quality control. The smallest oversight often leads to disaster.
Space Lord Leoric: There are always two Space Lords; one the master, the other? An apprentice. Our meetings are lonely... and one-sided.
- He also muses about his business meetings.
Space Lord Leoric: You have no idea how much batteries those things use up.
- His cool Tron Lines on his armor? They have a downside:
- Crown Prince Arthas Crosses the Line Twice in more ways than one.Crown Prince Arthas: [Stomach growling] Ah, great. Frostmourne hungers again. Does anyone have something I can rub up against the blade to tide it over? Maybe an orphan?
Crown Prince Arthas: Wait, this map has mercenaries? Excellent! I LOVE mercenaries.
- And the second time, referring about what he does to mercenaries in the second to last mission to the human campaign...
- Azmodunk has quite a few tales of his basketball career.Azmodunk: My fans call me Azmodunk. But truthfully, my best plays come from way, way downtown.
Azmodunk: My face was once on a box of cereal. But for some reason, children stopped eating breakfast. I have no idea why.
Azmodunk: I'll let you in on a little secret. It's actually never the shoes, they um... uh, don't fit.
Azmodunk: The Burning Court and the High Arena have been locked in the eternal playoffs for aeons. When the season ends, that "Win by 2" rule just has to go!
- Medivh has a few choice lines as well.Medivh: No, you don't need to stay awhile and listen. You must have me confused with someone else.
Medivh: Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated. I mean, yes, I died, but people love to embellish.
Medivh: In my day, heroes only had one ultimate to choose from, and they were grateful for it!
Medivh: Atiesh, Greatstaff of the Guardian, is a unique and powerful artifact, passed down from Guardian to student for generations. [...] Pay no attention to that Druid holding another. Or that Priest. Or Khadgar. In fact, never pay attention to Khadgar.
Medivh: An upside-down version of Karazhan, built underneath the real tower? That's absolutely insane! Only a madman would do such a... oh... right.
- Despite being Darkness incarnate, Gul'dan has a few good lines himself.Gul'dan: I once was the head of a secretive council that controlled the Orcish Horde from the shadows. I called it... The Shadow Council. *beat* Shut up! Naming things is hard.
Gul'dan: I'll have you know Death Knights were my idea first! And for the record, most of Ner'zhul's aren't even dead! It's complete lunacy!
Gul'dan: You're saying there's an alternate timeline version of me loose among the cosmos? [Wheezes with laughter] You are all so very doomed! They don't even know what to do with just one of me!
Gul'dan: The Hand of Gul'dan is a monument of fire and fury, a symbol the Horde's eternal allegiance to the Fel! And it is also the name of a spell. WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT NAMING THINGS?!
- Ever wondered why Tyrael and Auriel use mounts to get around despite being able to fly? Auriel has that covered:Auriel: Angels don't actually need wings to fly, you know. We just need to think some happy thoughts... (sigh) And that's why we ride horses.
Auriel: Al'Maiesh is the Cord of Hope. Through it flows of all my power. I tried going cordless for a while, but I had to recharge every few hours.
Auriel: What are you looking at? Do I have something on my face? (beat) Oh. Hmm, of course not.
Auriel: Tyrael. Auriel. Malthael. Itherael. And... Imperius. He always has to be the one that stands out.
- One gets the feeling that she's got a lot of complaints saved up for Imperius:
Auriel: Someday, Imperius might actually calm down and think things through before he acts. He always is such a hothead.
- Alarak's snarking was not lost in his entry to the Nexus.Alarak: I'd show more care when poking my armor if I were you. A little prick can be quite the annoyance.Alarak: The Nexus. A conflux of time and space where heroes and world clash. Sounds like underwhelming science fiction. I mean really, are you even trying anymore?Alarak: Free to play is a delusion granted to the weak by the strong. Or so I've heard.
Alarak: The difference between the Templar and the Tal'darim is simple: Templar use long-winded speeches to reach the heart of their warriors. We use a blade.
Alarak: The Chain of Ascension wasn't the first thing we tried. I'll admit the Carousel of Omnipotence was fun, but the idea never really went anywhere.
- Zarya, being from a First-Person Shooter, doesn't understand why this is even allowed.Zarya: Stop poking me! Why do they even allow this?
Zarya: Have you ever noticed you can't jump in the Nexus? That's odd, right? Gravity must be very strong here.
Zarya: In Mother Russia, this joke is tired of you.
Zarya: Some day I'd love to be in a Second-Person Shooter. You fire your particle grenade at the bad guy. You see them explode. You flex.
- Queen of Ghosts Kerrigan seems intent on making sure there's not a bare bulb in sight:Queen of Ghosts Kerrigan: The goggles? Yeah, they do nothing.
Queen of Ghosts Kerrigan: It is nice to be human again, but you really can't make up your mind, can you, Blizzard? What's next, a Xel'naga? (chuckles) That would be hilarious...
Queen of Ghosts Kerrigan: Yes, the idea of a robotic Ultralisk is completely ridiculous, but have you seen how cool it looks?
- Varian finally points out how jarring it is that in Hearthstone: Heroes of Warcraft, he's just an exclusive card... for his Arch-Enemy.Varian: Anduin got me to play Hearthstone once, it was a bit too fantastic for my tastes. What kind of game allows Garrosh to order me around? That's absurd!
Garrosh: I LOVE playing Hearthstone! I can send Varian to his death as many times as I want! Hahahaha!
- Garrosh also gets to point it out.
- Also, Dad JokesVarian: I just thought of the perfect joke to tell Anduin. What do you call a Gnoll who won't share his forest? A Hogger! *Laughs* He's gonna love it!
- Ragnaros has a few witty lines, like he references his card from Hearthstone: Heroes of Warcraft.Ragnaros: Hurry up and end your turn! I want to deal some RANDOM DAMAGE!Ragnaros: I'm not shouting! THIS IS MY INSIDE VOICE!Ragnaros: Executus was incompetent, so I had to... fire him. Heh. He didn't take it well. You could say he was... crushed!Ragnaros: A game with an acronym like "HOTS" should have more fire in it. That's why I'm here!Ragnaros: Soon, the enemy will have...a molten core!
- Poke Greymane enough and he'll drop the following:Greymane: You know, I've built the Gilnean wall to keep us isolated from outsiders. You're starting to making me remember why.
Greymane: When Gilnean dockworkers go on strike, it can be hard to keep the wolves at bay!
- He also gives us this one, but only in Worgen form.
- Hearthstone players, remember the glory days of Miracle Rogue? Well, Valeera shares your thoughts.Valeera: I'm an excellent rogue, but I can't perform miracles. Not after that nerf, at least...
Valeera: Don't worry, I'm both rouge and a rogue. So no matter how poorly you spell, you're still covered.
- She also pokes fun at a very common misspelling.
- Lucio's dirty little secret is revealed if you poke him enough:
Lucio: Oh, I have to tell some jokes? Hmm, I guess I didn't get the note. Hello? Is This Thing On?
- He's also got quite a few music puns saved up:
Lucio: Do you think you could help me find the beat? I seem to have... dropped it.
Lucio: Oh, sorry about those puns, by the way. I was worried they might fall flat. Then I'd be in real treble. (microphone feedback)
Lucio: If there's one thing an electronic musician knows, it's how to make a good loop.
- The last quote before his lines repeat:
- Zul'jin takes a moment to ponder where he keeps getting new throwing axes from.Zul'jin: Where all de axes come from, anyway? I throw axe, I get new axe! Throw axe, new axe! Mmh. Dis some powerful voodoo.
- Cassia warns players of the danger of naming ultimates:
Cassia: Don't go running at 88 miles per hour on a stormy night, you might end up in the Nexus.
- And how did she gets there?
Cassia: Life is like a pristine armor, it's shiny and wonderful, but as soon as we get used to it, it breaks.
- She also gets strangely philosophical, while bemoaning Breakable Weapons.
- E.T.C. making a reference to a certain band.E.T.C.: I wanna rock and roll all day, and party every night! We can say that, right? I mean I changed up the words and everything-(Phone rings)E.T.C. Oh no! Dont pick that up.(Muffled murloc voice on phone)E.T.C. Okay, tell em Im not here."
- And then, one Incredibly Lame Pun too many later...
- Genji, with a parody of the Dragons cinematic from Overwatch.Genji: My father once told me a story of two dragons, who were grounded for a week because they stayed out past curfew. *Sigh*... very subtle.
Genji: In hindsight, I should have listened when Hanzo said he had the high ground.
- He also reflects on when Hanzo defeated him.
Genji: When I used to play in the arcade, I thought double jumping was so unrealistic. How foolish I was.
- On his Double Jump:
- Prime Evil Diablo has some shockingly funny lines.Diablo: Sometimes, three plus four equals one.
Diablo: No, the mouths on my shoulders do not speak. *Screaming is heard*. They do that. And they WON'T STOP!
Diablo: Fear tastes of chicken! Everything tastes of chicken...
Diablo: These days, I'm of seven minds about everything.
- D.Va has a few funny ones.D.Va: Makeup whiskers? Nuh-uh. This is WAR PAINT!!!!
D.Va: Oh, is this like Fighters of the Storm 2? I used to main Garrosh.*
D.Va: Wasting left clicks doesn't count as raising your APM, ya know?
D.Va: Question from the chat: "Where do all the MEKA you detonate come from?" Great question, CrypticSpoon! No idea. But thanks for asking!
- Malthael has normal Stop Poking Me eventually, but the first 6 or so times you click on him, all you get are increasingly annoyed grunts.
Malthael: I am become Death, destroyer of worlds!
- When you finally get to his actual quotes:
Malthael: You might be a king or just a street sweeper, but sooner or later you dance with the reaper!
- Stukov gets a few funny ones in.Stukov: Come to think of it, the last time I went to gym, I did skip leg day. Oh, and "other arm" day.
Stukov: Is it hot to anyone else? Ugh, I wish I could take off this jacket.
Stukov: Don't click there. It sends shivers down what used to be my spine.
Stukov: Who put this "I'm with Stukov!" sign on my back? Was it you? Not funny.
Stukov: Kaneda, who is that, and why do I want to crush him?
Stukov: On the plus side, I've gotten very good at arm wrestling lately.
Stukov: For my enemy, the day Stukov infested their team was the most horrifying experience of their lives! To me, it was Tuesday.
- Samuro isn't too shabby in the funny quotes department, between the references and puns:Samuro: I try not to be angry, but sometimes I'm just beside myselves! (laughter)
Samuro: This is the weapon of a Blademaster. Not as clumsy or random as an axe. It is an elegant weapon, for a more... civilized age. note
Samuro: My best sparring matches are against my own mirror images. I call them "Samuro Shodown!"
Samuro: The most skilled Blademaster I have ever met was a blind Orc who hid his blade within a cane. The next, uh, was dressed as a rabbit.
Samuro: Blademaster training is simple, yet effective. One hundred cuts, one hundred stabs, one hundred parries, ten miles of wandering every single day.
Samuro: No "dude", I cannot get you backstage passes! I am Samuro, not Samuro! Go ask E.T.C himself!
- Garrosh.Garrosh: You scream. I scream. We all scream for HELLSCREAM!!!Garrosh: It doesn't matter how many times my enemies to try kill me! I'm still not dropping the Tusks of Mannoroth! They're mine!Garrosh: I'm organizing a little surprise party for Jaina. It's going to be a blast.Garrosh: When your hand is empty, your only option is to Armor Up!
- All the stops were pulled with Kel'Thuzad.Kel'Thuzad: Ten years ago I was a nobody. Then, I started my own religion. Now I have a glorious floating citadel, and you could too, if you just read my book, Striking it Lich: The Easy Way!
Kel'Thuzad: At this point, The Cult of the Damned... is a Cult Classic.
Kel'Thuzad: You "heroes" were so busy looting your precious Tier 7, you completely forgot to look for my phylactery! Fools!
Kel'Thuzad: King Arthas once forged a blade in my honour. He named it "Bloodsurge, the Blade of Agony"! ...Honestly it was a little much. I let him keep it.
Kel'Thuzad: Wait, there's a Skeleton King and a Lich King? I hate having to choose between my personal life and my work!
Kel'Thuzad: Spreading the plague was a lot easier before everything went all "gluten-free".
Kel'Thuzad: Originally it took forty heroes to defeat me. I heard Arthas was beaten by ten. Makes you question who the real Lich King is, doesn't it?
Kel'Thuzad: How DARE you poke the Archlich of Naxxramas, Lich Lord of the Plaguelands, Commander of the Dread Necropolis, Master and Founder of the Cult of the Damned, formerly of the Council of Six, Summoner of Archimonde the Defiler, the Betrayer of Humanity, Hearthstone Enthusiast, and Majordomo to the Lich King himself: KEL'THU-FREAKING-ZAD!
Kel'Thuzad: Oh wait. I forgot "Creator of the Abomination". Can we take it again from the top? What do you mean, "No"?
- Dreadlord Jaina has some funny ones.Jaina: Me? A dreadlord? I don't know what you're talking about.
Jaina: Wings, hooves, and horns? And we're 100% certain I'm not a Diablo skin? Well, if you say so.
Jaina: Bleh! *cough* Uhh, sorry. An old Nathrezim habit.
Jaina: One! Two! Three! Three invasions of Azeroth! Ah, ah, ah!
- Ana has a few poking at her backstory.Ana: It was foolish to think I could stay retired. If only I put more into my 401K...
Ana: Having faked my own death, I can never return to Overwatch. They are very serious about insurance fraud.
Ana: I just love this photo of Fareeha and me with the other members of Overwatch. It brings back memories of Jack and Gabriel and [REDACTED]. Oh, and I could never forgot [REDACTED]!
Ana: When Fareeha was young, she asked for a toy rifle. I told her she'd shoot her eye out. ...I regret that.
Ana: Healing people by shooting them? Ha, the wonders of modern medicine!
- As well as her gameplay.
Ana: I'm one of the best snipers in the world, of course I can land headshots. I simply choose not to.
Ana: Be honest with me: do you think I'm boring? I keep putting people to sleep.
Ana: You can learn a lot by listening to your elders. You should stay awhile and listen.
- And one shoutout to another iconic Blizzard oldie.
- Junkrat's lines are as insane as you'd imagine. Cue lots and lots of Suddenly SHOUTING! and Laughing Mad.Junkrat: You like the grenade launcher? I made it meself. ... WHAT DO YA MEAN YA CAN TELL?!
Junkrat: Looks like Junkrat is blasting off again!
Junkrat: Sure, no one may notice the lil' happy faces I paint on my bombs, BUT THE DETAILS MATTER!
Junkrat: Do you like the explosives? They're all mine! Get it? HAHAHAHA!
Junkrat: Look out, it's a trap! *sounds of a Steel Trap triggering* Told ya!
Junkrat: Dang, anyone got a spare tire? Mine's got a RIP in it. HAHAHAHHA! Oh, I'm precious.
Junkrat: (singing) Where oh where has my Roadhog gone? Where oh where could he beeee?
Junkrat: These bombs aren't cheap ya know! They cost an arm and a leg! HAHAHA - I'm joking. They only cost me a leg!
- Alexstrasza:Alexstrasza: I know we've been instructing you not to for years, but trust me; this one time, stand in the fire.
Alexstrasza: I'll let you in on a little secret; Ruby Dragons don't actually use Hearthstones. We just click our talons together a few times and we're home!
Alexstrasza: Of course Chromie arrived in the Nexus before me. Bronze Dragons have to be first at everything. And last. And everything in between.
Alexstrasza: Sylvanas may have worn it first, but you have to admit, I wore it better!
Alexstrasza: Wait, what do you mean I'm not allowed to do the "Life, uhh, finds a way" joke? I'm a dragon. Puh. Thanks, Dehaka.
Alexstrasza: Life is good. Life is beautiful. Life is even strange. What it certainly is not however, is a highway.
Alexstrasza: You have no idea how hard it is to find jewelry that can change sizes.
- Hanzo has some quips.Hanzo: Why does everyone think I'm a villain? ...Is it the goatee? It's the goatee, isn't it.
Hanzo: Every year I sneak into Shimada castle to honour my fallen brother. You'd think at this point the clan would just close the gate.
Hanzo: I've heard that some archers use arrows that deploy nets or explosives. Some even have boxing gloves! Haha! A true archer has no need for such parlor tricks! ...Now where are my scatter and sonic arrows?
Hanzo: Sin of X = Cos of π/2-X! Simple trigonometry!
Hanzo: It's not my fault if people want to pick me all the time. They simply recognize greatness when they see it.
Hanzo: They say that perfect is the enemy of good. So I guess I am a villain after all. Ahahahaha!
- Blaze lights up the mic.Blaze: Firebats used to have a reputation. Resocialized criminals, all of 'em. But my only crime is bein' too hot to handle.
Blaze: Can't remember the first thing I set on fire. Heh, maybe that's why I keep doin' it.
Blaze: Buh, turns out I hate the smell of napalm in the morning.
Blaze: Zerg, they plump when ya cook 'em! But the Protoss? They're gamy, not enough meat on their bones. I'm gonna have to take my time learning how all the other weird things in this place cook up!
Blaze: Anyone got a favourite campfire song? Because I've got the campfire. Oh, and the s'mores!
- Not unlike Mecha Tassadar, Mecha Tyrael gets in plenty of robot jokes.Tyrael: Justice = me!
Tyrael: Reckoning is at hand! ...once it finishes downloading. This wi-fi signal is terrible...
Tyrael: If Blizzard ever makes that transforming Mecha Tassadar, I demand a Mecha Tyrael model kit! And it better be at least Master Grade.
Tyrael: Beep boop, friend. Beep boop.
Tyrael: The original plan to deal with the Kaijo was to block their path with a giant wall equipped with powerful laser turrets. It was a dam with guns on it. A gun dam.
Tyrael: Warning: Humor circuits overheating. Previous joke defective...
- Maiev:Maiev: Nothing escapes my sight. Not even when I blink.
Maiev: I can never forgive Cordana for betraying us! But after dealing with Khadgar, I can see why she lost her sanity...
Maiev: I AM NOTHING LIKE ILLIDAN! I merely do whatever is necessary to achieve my goals (even if it means making morally questionable descions) while growling about the hatred I felt for ten thousand years.
Maiev: Betraying the kaldorei? That's an imprisoning. Consorting with demons? That's an imprisoning. Consuming the Skull of Gul'dan and becoming a demon? Oh, you better believe that's an imprisoning!
Maiev: So I murdered a few Highborne, tried to kill Malfurion, and was exiled from Darnassus. Can't you just drop it? Everyone else has.
- She gives this one about the events of Wolfheart.
Maiev: What do you mean I'm obsessed with Illidan? It's not like I think about him every day, and every night... picturing his smug grin as I sharpen my glaive. Imagining how it would feel when I plunge it into his chest... right between those big, disgusting tattoos... leaning in close, to watch the light fade from his eyes. [Beat] Oh, I'm sorry? What were you saying?
- Apparently Maiev has some... repressed feelings. This reads like I Resemble That Remark!, but is delivered in a very different way.
- Above quote in Source Filmmaker.That melon really had it coming.
- Even a total war-hardened badass like Fenix isn't afraid to tell a few jokes.Fenix: Drop your weapon! You have 15 seconds to comply!
Fenix: I am honoured to be made into a dragoon, but I wish the phase-smiths would clean my tank once in a while. I think I saw a fish in here!
Fenix: For the last time, I do not have a "Graviton Beam". You're thinking of a different Protoss Phoenix.
Fenix: Have you seen those new Immortals, with their torsos and their dual phase-disruptors? Hmm. In MY day, we had no torso and ONE phase disruptor! And we appreciated it!
Fenix: At my last stand in Antioch, I was ambushed by a Hydralisk. I could've easily slayed it, but my Psi-blade... ceased to... function -I-I-I swear that never happened before!
Fenix: This exo-skeleton can be extremely hard to control. Do not judge a dragoon by the path they choose to walk!
Fenix: Before I fell to the Zerg, Judicator Aldaris sent me to Glacius to have my memories preserved. I... may have altered the archives to embellish a few of my accomplishments. I'm sure no one will notice, right?
- Did you think Talandar's recollection of Fenix's memories as a bit unbelievable? There's a reason for that.
- Deckard Cain, on the topic of Leah's characterization:Deckard: Has anyone seen my dear niece Leah? She's brave, kind, and disinclined to believe in any of my stories. Hmm...
Deckard: My name is Deckard Cain and I'm in the Nexus! Our enemies are many but they'll never best us! If I find ol' Diablo, even I might take him down - You should always remember that we're in a different town! Wika wika wika, Horadrim! Ho-ho-Horadrim in da hoooouse!
- Then he breaks it down like old times.
- Yrel finally gets to tell us her dark secret! She sees dead people. Just kidding. The dark secret part, not the seeing dead people part. Draenei seeing dead people is normal (see: Auchindoun).
Yrel: I'm not upset that I wasn't invited to join the Paladin class order. Or that everyone jetted off to Argus without me! Nooo, I'm not upset about that at all! Hrmph! It's not like after all our efforts on Draenor, the Legion just... invaded anyway, or that I was left behind while everyone joined the Army of Light, to fight against my people's greatest enemy WITHOUT ME! Can you imagine if that happened?! I'D BE FURIOUS!
- She's a bit... touchy about being Put on a Bus for the Legion expansion...
Yrel: Have you ever been to Farahlon? It's so beautiful! I pity anyone who has never been able to travel there. What a cruel fate it would be to hear about its wonders without ever having a chance to see it with your own eyes. Oh well, anyway, I will send you a S.E.L.F.I.E. next time I'm there.
- Apparently Farahlon is a breathtaking place.
Yrel: Learning how to wield holy power effectively can be tricky. It requires a light touch. Ah? Ahhh?
- Oh, and puns.
Yrel: I hate it when people make fun of my hooves. Or my tail. Or my horns! It really gets my goat.
- Whitemane has some cheeky references.Whitemane: I know we're supposed to call everyone heroes these days, but Renault will always remain my champion.
Whitemane: I'm not bad, I'm just rendered that way.
Whitemane: We Whitemanes have never approved of the Greymanes' rule, they're too neutral. With Blackmanes you know where they stand, but with Greymanes, who knows? It sickens me.
Whitemane: NO ONE EXPECTS THE SCARLET INQUISITION!
- Mephisto is the Lord of Hatred. Three guess what he likes to talk about.Mephisto: Even in the depths of the Burning Hells, there is an edict that is unquestionable: Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate!
Mephisto: Is there hatred in your soul? (Beat) Would you... like there to be?
Mephisto: Hate is a strong word, but I really, really, really don't like you.
Mephisto: Lightning Nova? Very well. *electricity sparks and Nova dies*
- A few lines about his abilities.
Mephisto: I don't "throw shade". My shade stays precisely where I tell it too. If anything, I throw myself.
Mephisto: I tell everyone who dates my daughter the same thing: While my daughter and I may not see eye to eye, if you hurt her, I will impale you with barbed hooks for all of eternity! ...So, it's Inarius' fault really.
- And don't forget, Mephisto is a dad.
- Mal'Ganis is well aware what we like to do with these quotes.Mal'Ganis: Are you enjoying this, mortal? Wasting valuable time clicking on me so you can hear these "jokes"? Uhh, you're not recording this, are you?
- There's also this.
- The first Nexus-born hero proves she can throw down with the best of the.Orphea: You probably have some questions about the Realms. But if I answered all of them, you'd just be bored.
Orphea: I'd never been to Dragon Shire until I ran away from home. It's so green there... I think I'm allergic to it.
Orphea: The best thing about this place is the same as the worst thing; it's always changing, and you'll never know who you'll next meet. Or fight. Or kill.
Orphea: ...But the Raven Lord shall walk his tower... nevermore.
- Despite being fairly serious, Imperius is not without laugh:Imperius: You're making me angry, I'm fired up and I'm tired of the way things have been!
Imperius: If you ask me, discretion is the worst part of valor.
Imperius: I am the only angel in the Heavenly Halls with blazing wings of Valor! Pay no attention to the mortals who pre-ordered Reaper of Souls
Imperius: All dogs go to heaven, except for zombie dogs. Blame the Nephalem. I do.
Imperius: All mortals should be exterminated, change my mind.
Imperius: Listen closely, I am not wrath, I am wroth. Wrath is a noun, wroth is an adjective, know the difference!
Imperius: If you wish to turn water into wine, seek the Archangel of Fermentation, but be warned; he stinks to High Heaven.
Imperius: Why wear a hood when you can wear a helmet? It's far more metal.
Imperius: Enough! [whistles and steam sounds] Can't you tell I'm running out of steam?
- Anduin has a few:
Anduin: Please, now is not the time for that. Also, it will never be the time for that.
- He does not like being poked. At all.
Anduin: There will be peace. One day. At least I think there will. How many WoW expansions are left again? .Oh ohh.. oh. Well. Well then.
- He realizes his peace-seeking nature might run into a bit of a problem:
Anduin: The Light will abolish the Shadow in all its forms! I personally would never resort to its dark methods.
- Despite being a gentle soul, he is fairly competitive about Hearthstone.
Except when playing Hearthstone. Sometimes that game brings out the worst in me.
Anduin: In Pandaren board games the goal is for both players to win. In Hearthstone the goal is for me to beat you to death. With your own minions.
- How does Deathwing react to the existence of another villainous black dragon with a lot of similarities to him? Not too well, apparently.Deathwing: People keep saying that they're outraged at another infamous black dragon for burning a city full of innocent people to ash. One city. Pfft, amateur.
- Also, Deathwing making dad jokes.Deathwing: What is a dragon's favorite car? A Wyrmrest Accord! Ba-dum bum! [beat] Look, with the number of whelps I've sired, I think I've earned the right to make a dad joke or two!
- He also talks himself up as if promoting a WrestleMania event.Deathwing: Sunday! Sunday! Sunday! Get ready, Azeroth, for the biggest Cataclysm youv'e ever seen as Deathwing the Destroyer breaks the world into smoldering ruins! Don't miss it!
- Also, Deathwing making dad jokes.
- Each character gets some special kill quotes when dealing with certain enemies. Some are listed below and more can be found here, though the list is dated (March 2014).Sonya: [killing Stitches] Put some clothes on!
ETC: [killing Diablo] Diablo's dead? Well, I guess that makes me a Slayer.
Kerrigan: [killing Arthas] What's up with all these bratty princes anyways?
Nova: [killing Valla] Ha. Hunter? More like hunted!
Nova: [killing Raynor] See ya around... Marshal.
Stitches: [killing Nova] Me not afraid of no ghost!
Jaina: [killing an enemy Jaina] The cold never bothered me, anyway!
Sylvanas: [killing Thrall] THAT was for giving the Horde to Garrosh!
Valla: [killing Abathur] Was that even a demon? Eh. Close enough.
Infested Tychus: [after killing Arthas] Swaaaaarrrrrmmm! Scooouuuurrrrge! Same crap to me...
Azmodan: [killing a Nephalem] I knew I would get you eventually, Nephalem!
Diablo: [killing Uther] Perhaps you require more training, Uther.
Abathur: [killing an undead hero] Necrotized tissue... yet animated. Perplexing.
Anub'arak: [killing Abathur] I eat worms like you for breakfast!
Brightwing: [killing Abathur] Big grub, good for eat? I hope so!
Gazlowe: [killing Uther] Ha ha! Next time, you might wanna bubble-hearth! Pfft, ye loser!
Ana: [killing Widowmaker Nova] *Mocking tone* One shot, one kill!
Zarya: [killing Anub'arak] Almost as big as Siberian beetles! ...almost.
Ragnaros: [killing a fire-based hero] FOOL! YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD BEST ME WITH FIRE?
Zul'jin: [killing a Night Elf] Night elf? Day elf? Now ya dead elf!
Prime Evil Diablo: [killing Nova] No one nukes the Prime Evil and gets away with it!
Blaze: [killing a Terran] No such thing as friendly fire.
Maiev: [killing Zeratul] I know all your tricks, Zeratul!
Warsong Johanna: [killing human Johanna] Did that human have my face? I must be seeing things!
Deathwing: [killing Ragnaros] You will always be a tier below me, Firelord.
- Some pairs of Heroes with kill quotes against each other are extra funny.
Raynor: How many times I gotta kick your ass, Tychus?
- Raynor and Tychus make Call Backs to StarCraft II: Wings of Liberty, with Tychus' doubling as an Ironic Echo.
Tychus: For the most wanted man in the sector, you ain't that hard to kill.
Falstad: What's wrong, Muradin? Didn't ye learn to duck?
- Falstad and Muradin rib each other.
Muradin: Ah, hill dwarves. Big talk, small hammers.
Azmodan: Consider this a permanent exile!
- Azmodan and the Primes indulge their Eviler Than Thou Sibling Rivalry, complete with Diablo dissing Azmodan for being a Big Bad Wannabe.
Diablo: Now we see why you are a Lesser Evil!
Mephisto: The Prime Evils reign supreme!
- Some generic kill quotes are amusing too:Nova: Now who's a ghost?
Nova: Ha! [blows kiss]
Muradin: I've met blood elves tougher than you!
Muradin: Next time, laddie, watch yer back!
Diablo: I'll See You in Hell!
Thrall: *chuckle* I expected more!
Rexxar: Misha! You don't know where that's been!
Chromie: If it's any consolation, you'll be alive again soon!
Stukov: I am somewhat jealous...
Kael'thas: Oh, get up! I... Oh my. Are you dead already?
Gall: Yes! Kill them all! / Cho: Uh, what he said.
- This one didn't make it into the final product, but it's still pretty funny.Kael'thas: [after killing Illidan] Should have seen that coming. [beat] Oh, right.
- Diablo stealing Tychus' lines.Diablo: Burning Hells... It's about time!
Mephisto: Feel the hatred of INFINITE years!
- Mephisto gets one as well, towards Illidan.
- Gazlowe reminds us that he's still a goblin at heart.Gazlowe: [after killing Sgt. Hammer] Oh, man! It hurts to bust up something so beautiful!
Gazlowe: (scoring a kill) Hey, you don't need your wallet anymore, right?
- An unimpressed Malfurion dismisses Arthas.Malfurion: *scoffs* Brat.
- The Mecha Tassadar skin from the Kaiju series of skins:Tassadar: Apocalypse... Cancelled!
Tassadar: Denial of service!
Tassadar: Initiate celebratory subroutines... Yay!
- Rexxar has one that most Hearthstone players should be familiar with.Rexxar: Heh. Right in the face.
- Xul is pretty unimpressed with Azmodan.Xul: Hmph... Duriel was tougher. And he was a giant maggot.
Xul: (sing-song) I've got your ear!
- Xul also has a great line for those who loved to PvP in Diablo II.
Valla: Oh, well, I believe you dropped an ear.
- Valla also gets a line to this effect; bonus points if it plays after taking down Xul.
- The Lost Vikings have one for killing Abathur.Erik: What kind of alien was that?
Olaf: I don't know... I think I saw it at Blizzcon.
- Both Morales and Genji get pretty upset if they kill Li Li or Chen.Lt. Morales: I can't believe I killed a panda!
Genji: Talking pandas? ...feels like I'm the bad guy this time.
- D.Va gets one for killing each of the Starcraft races.Killing a Protoss: Protoss: So OP.
Killing a Terran: Terran: So OP.
Killing a Zerg: Zerg: So OP.
D.Va: *death noise* Hax...D.Va: You...cheater...
- D.Va actually has two "gets killed" quotes where she will let out a death groan and call her assailant a cheater with her final dying gasp. Enemy players who nailed her do actually get to hear this.
- Chromie pokes fun at Gul'Dan's status as a Composite Character:Chromie: Wait, was that main timeline's Gul'dan, or the alternate one?
Killing Kael'thas: There's only room for one KT around here!
- He settles the nickname debate once and for all.
Kel'Thuzad: Wait, was that val'kyr missing a face?
- He mistakes Tyrael for something else.
Kel'Thuzad: No, you kneel!
- Taking down Leoric?
- Junkrat has one for Genji:
- Gul'dan has trouble with his stuff getting stolen.Illidan: I'm taking your skull. Deal with it.
Maiev: I'm taking your Shadow Orb!
- After being farmed for loot for nearly two decades, Mephisto finally gets his sweet revenge.Mephisto: [after killing a Diablo II hero] Nothing of value. I'll have to kill you again. And again. AND AGAIN!
- Depending on the makeup of a team, characters may use unique lines before the match starts.
- The Nephalem still hate Diablo and Azmodan, and the feeling is mutual.Diablo: Do not become a liability, Nephalem!
Sonya: Worry about yourself, hellspawn!Valla: When this is over, you're next!
Azmodan: Your death will be sweeter... after this little diversion!
Diablo: I would destroy you if I could.
- Xul is much more Snarky about it.
Xul: I know... too bad you can't. Or have you forgotten the last time?
- The Prime Evils and Azmodan can't agree on who's in charge.Azmodan: We must take this world for our own!
Diablo: The Prime Evils take no commands from you!Diablo: Obey me and follow!
Mephisto: Follow my orders Azmodan, as you did in ages immemorial.
Azmodan: You lead us only to failure, brother! I make my own way!
- Raynor and Nova get into a nicknaming contest.Raynor: Ready for this, Blondie?
Nova: More than you are, Marshal.
- Nova doesn't appreciate Tychus looking at her assets.
- Sgt. Hammer teases Tychus about his BFG.
- Made even funnier by the revelation that Tychus was being serious.◊
- Nephalem Heroes wonder if their enemies are more powerful because there's two of them. Most hope it ain't so, but Sonya hopes it is.
- Leoric and Johanna:Leoric: Crusader, it seems that fate has decreed that we... fight together.
Johanna: I've kept worse company, I suppose. Have you met Lyndon?
- Anub'arak and Zagara make awkward attempts to court one another.Anub'arak: Nice legs.
Zagara: Creep.Zagara: You know... you would make a powerful addition to my swarm.
Anub'arak: I am already shackled to the will of a monarch! I have no need of another!
- After the gates open, the heroes usually shout out "Woo-hoo!" or something like that. Sylvanas? "Yaay..."
- Olaf sees Muradin's horned helmet and gets the wrong idea.Olaf: Ho! What kind of Viking are you?
Muradin: Sonny, I'm a Mountain King, not a Viii-king... whatever that is.
Muradin: Uh, you boys ever been to the Badlands?
- On the other hand, the three of them seem kind of familiar to him.
Baelog: Well, we certainly haven't been to any good lands! *chuckle*
Olaf: Hello! I'd like some cold cuts please.
- Olaf also doesn't seem to be aware of what kind of "butcher" that The Butcher is at first.
Olaf: Wait a minute... You're not a real butcher, are you?
- Lunara and Cho'gall.
- Cho is Not So Above It All.Gall: Seal your wordhole, unbeliever!
Cho: Heh, "wordhole". *chuckle*
- Johanna won't let Azmodan forget his habit of revealing his plans, or how she defeated him.Johanna: Don't reveal our plans to our foes. I mean it! Not a word.
Johanna: What? Is that all? I expected a discourse on how I'd never defeat you... again.
Mephisto: A Zakarum warrior? Hmmm. My flesh is decaying. Yours would serve nicely.
- She also sasses Mephisto.
Johanna: Uh, uh, uh! Flattery will get you nowhere.Johanna: The Lord of Hatred? Very impressive, I'm sure.
Mephisto: You Zakarum are so very impressionable, after all.
- If Tyrael and one of the Great Evils are on a team together:Tyrael: Can you put aside our differences and fight, demon?
Diablo: Can you?
Azmodan: I would not call what you do "fighting".
- Hilariously, both normally hammy demons are completely deadpan in their response.
- Tassadar and Zeratul are not particularly fond of being allied with the Queen of Blades.Kerrigan: I am not your enemy, Tassadar. Things have changed.
Tassadar: Yes. You radiate a purple glow now. How very different.
Mecha Tassadar: I do not know you, alien... creature... yet somehow, I doubt that!Kerrigan: Ready for some fun, Zeratul?
Zeratul: You and I interpret this "fun" very differently.
- Zeratul and Raynor reminisce on the last time they fought side-by-side, but Raynor appears to get lost along the way.Zeratul: Friend Raynor. We have not fought together since the Great War.
Raynor: ...Man. I miss that Vulture.
- Even funnier if Zeratul or Raynor has the Vulture mount equipped at that very moment.
- Artanis hilariously thinks Anub'arak is a new type of Zerg:Artanis: What kind of new Zerg abomination is this!?
Anub'arak: Pardon me?
Artanis: What kind of new Zerg abomination is this!?
- Made funnier by the release of the Anub'alisk skin... and even more so if Anub'arak happens to have the skin equipped.
- And likewise with Azmodan.
Azmodan: You fail to amuse me.
- Zeratul and Arthas normally have a rather somber dialogue. Crown Prince Arthas on the other hand...Zeratul: I sense in you, a darkness that will consume all worlds.Arthas: How perceptive of you.Crown Prince Arthas: Well it's been that kind of week.
- Kharazim and Leoric:Kharazim: Is there no rest for you, mad king?
Leoric: I prefer "the Black King". It's much more ominous.
Space Lord Leoric: I am not who you think I am, human. Consider yourself fortunate you do not know me.
- This absolutely priceless exchange between Greymane and Rehgar:Greymane: Is that a wolf's pelt on your head?!
Rehgar: Yes. Now deal with it or shut up, your choice.
- Greymane gets a savage exchange with Lunara. It's especially satisfying for anyone who gets annoyed by her attitude.
Greymane: Fear not, dryad. I am more in tune with nature than other humans.
- On the flipside, Lunara can give just as good as she gets.
Lunara: You aren't going to mark the trees as territory, are you?
- Ragnaros and Uther:Ragnaros: ALL SHALL BURN!
Uther: And there goes my hearing.
- Varian and Valeera, mixed with a Call-Back.Varian: Valeera! Remember any of our old strategies?
Valeera: Watching you kill everything is not a strategy.
- Genji has a pretty funny one with Samuro.Samuro: It is fortunate our paths cross today. I look forward to this battle!
Genji: As do I, uh... green... blademaster... dude?
- D.Va meets Kerrigan.D.Va: Kerrigan!? You're REAL!?! I AM SUCH A HUGE FAN!!!!
Kerrigan: Uhh... thanks?
D.Va: No way! A-Are you from Starcraft?! THIS IS SO CRAZY!!!
- She has two pretty good generic lines for other Starcraft Heroes.
D.Va: No one's going to believe I met someone from Starcraft! ...Can we take a selfie?
Fenix: Starcraft? No, I am from Aiur.
- Fenix gets a response for both and line for her
Fenix: I see you too fight within an armored exoskeleton ...But you can exit yours at anytime. *sigh*
Tychus: Uhh, sure but... what's a selfie?
- Tychus gets a response to the latter one.
Tychus: Hey! Impressive mech, kid. I gotta know, you got one in blue?
- Tychus also has a special dialogue for her:
D.Va: Hey! Hands off!
Alarak: Ugh, the Terrans. Were there no viable allies?
- She also gets a special one with Alarak.
D.Va: So salty.
D.Va: You call that a tank? *giggle* Let me show you what a tank can do!
- On the other hand, she and Sgt. Hammer have a differing opinions on what makes a good tank.
Sgt. Hammer: Hey, I got an idea: why don't you go about 30 yards thataway and stand real still?
- Tychus and Zarya compare "guns".Zarya: Nice mini-gun. What do you say you let me give the thing a try some time?
Tychus: If I can take that laser thing there for a spin, you got yourself a deal!
- Unsurprisingly, Kel'Thuzad gets a few great lines.Kel'Thuzad: This "infestation" of yours is too similar to the plague for my liking.
Stukov: Get lost! You can't compare with my powers.*Jaina: If it isn't the traitor, Kel'Thuzad.
Kel'Thuzad: Ahh, Antonidas' lapdog. How is he, by the way? Still dead?Uther: You know, you sound awfully familiar...
Kel'Thuzad: What are you implying, paladin? That all necromancers sound alike?!*
- Nobody likes Junkrat.Junkrat: Anyone want some barbecue? Huehahuehahue!
ETC: Not happenin', bro.Junkrat: Whadda bunch a' misfits and freaks we got here. I love it!
Stukov: Your permission to speak has been revoked.Junkrat: Think I could 'ave a look at one of those "pulse bombs" of yours?
Tracer: Please don't. Winston would never let me hear the end of it.Kel'Thuzad: You? Ahaha... haha! AHAHAHAHA!
Junkrat: ...Rude.Leoric: Do not trouble yourself. My expertise should more than make up for your shortcomings.
Junkrat: Ah, good! I was hopin' I could take a break!
- Alexstrasza gets this gem.Alexstrasza: Neltharion. Look at yourself - misshapen, twisted... wait, you're not Neltharion.
D.Va the Destroyer: Like, follow, subscribe!
- Ana has an interesting query for night elves:Ana: So, you are... How old? Do you ever retire?Illidan: What do you think?
- Maiev has a handful of interactions with Illidan. Most of them are serious, but the last one...Illidan: Can you put aside your anger, warden?
Maiev: I don't know, can you put on a shirt?! ... It's distracting.
Maiev: Your armor is your prison? Is that what passes for justice among your people? Pathetic.
- She also gets a fairly amusing one with Tychus.
Tychus: Yeah, I can't believe it either.
- Alarak to Probius:Alarak: Oh! A probe, good, I'm in need of a servant. Follow!
- Uther gives a scathing burn to Whitemane worthy of a Grumpy Old Man scolding his Bratty Teenage DaughterWhitemane: The Silver Hand failed paladin, join us! Take up the path of vengeance!Uther: Yes, we get it, you're edgy, congratulations! Can we move this along?!
Whitemane: My crusade is now your crusade.
- Likewise, Johanna completely blows her off.
Johanna: Yeah, that's not how this works.
- Deckard Cain tries to insult Mephisto. Tries.Deckard: Back to the Burning Hells with you!
Mephisto: Then we are in agreement.
- Alarak's contemptuous "response" to Yrel calling him out on his Blood Knight way of ruling his people is so hilariously dismissive. Note that protoss in general don't have mouths and communicate telepathically.Yrel: I don't know what your people see in you. Our leaders are both wise and compassionate.
- Sylvanas also gets an amusingly blunt response to Yrel:Yrel: Are you willing to put aside your differences with the Alliance and stand alongside the Draenei?
Sylvanas: (sighs) No!
- Orphea might be a hero now, but that doesn't mean she's used to people being chipper about it.Orphea: You seem to really like helping people. A lot.
Li Li: Yup!
- As fitting with someone using holy fire, Imperius delivers some burns:Azmodan: Hmm, tired of being on the losing side?
Imperius: I'm not the one who was slain by a lowly nephalem, Azmodan.
Imperius: Is that cacophony supposed to be music? How infantile.
Lucio: Tha That's just straight ignorant.
Mal'Ganis: When drained of their light, the Naaru fall into darkness. Perhaps the same is true for you.
Imperius: I am not convinced that you have the strength required to find out!
Imperius: Nephalem. Am I to believe that this "Nexus" considers you a "hero"?
- Although Johanna can dish out as good as him, if not better:
Johanna: Well, Imperius, you're here, so clearly they have no standards.
Auriel: Do try to keep a level head, brother.
- And Auriel may have done the same by accident.
Imperius: I ALWAYS KEEP A LEVEL HEAD!
Imperius: Those who meddle with fate find themselves succumbing to theirs.
- And then, there's Chromie:
Chromie: Well, that's not nice.
Chromie: Do we know each other? Oh, sorry. Oh! I always forget these things!
Imperius: Be silent. Not all of us have the luxury of time.
- Lucio fumbles a greeting with Tyrael:Lucio: Hey, hey! Always good to see your face.
Tyrael: ... My what?
Mecha Tyrael: Error: Face.png not found.
- As someone who has interacted with Adventurers for years, Anduin knows how to deal with mercenaries:Qhira: A king, uh? Finally someone who can afford my services.
Anduin: An adventurer, is it? I know how to deal with your types, I must have some gold on me... would a blue quality item be enough?
- Deathwing misconstrues a compliment:E.T.C.: Whoa, you're the most heavy metal thing I've ever seen!
Deathwing: ...are you making a crack about my jaw?
- Mei is naturally fascinated with heroes who can make ice with magic. Some are more on-board than others.Mei: That sword is such interesting technology! Mind if I take a look?
Mei: The weather patterns here are fascinating. Can you call down a blizzard for me to study?
Jaina: Now that's a good idea!
- Everyone is The Comically Serious towards Murky. Some can even understand what he's saying (in particular, the dragons from Warcraft naturally understand Nerglish, the Protoss heroes understand Murky via their natural telepathy, and the angels and demons from Diablo similarly understand through mind reading as well).Murky: *something in Nerglish*
Abathur: Question unintelligible. Illogical sentence structure.
Alarak: Ha! I believe I like you, fish creature! Come! We shall claim our vengeance together!
Alexstrasza: No, I will not aid your quest for vengeance, young one. You must learn to forgive.
Ana: A talking fish? Ha! And I thought Overwatch had its share of oddities!
Anduin: Hearing that sound come from my ally is a surreal experience.
Anub'arak: ...Come again?
Artanis: Oh, really! I will not dignify that with a response!
Arthas: Do NOT. Waste. My time.
Crown Prince Arthas: Must you ALWAYS spit when you talk?
Auriel: Seek justice, young one. Vengeance, if you must. But do not abandon hope.
Azmodan: You sound like a Fallen One.
Azmodunk: Hmm. Alright. You talk a good game. But can you slam with the best?
Blaze: So... fish is on the menu today?
The Butcher: *Irritated growl*
Cassia: Was that a question? Do not expect an answer, frog-creature.
Chen: Ahhh, well, I, I, uh... I've got nothing.
Cho: *Irritated* Arrrr, I have no time for this nonsense!/Gall: Oh, I do! Plenty!
Chromie: Eh, I wouldn't worry your head about it. Most of them never learn to understand you, anyway.
Deckard: I must write a book about you.
Dehaka: Do not understand. Learn to speak properly.
Diablo: Ugh, what an evil thing to say!
Prime Evil Diablo: Such anger! You could make for a powerful host!
D.Va: Oh-em-gee, you'd make a great plushie!
ETC: Is that hip hop?
Falstad: Hah! And they say my accent's thick.
Fenix: Who taught you that kind of language?!
Garrosh: The Alliance is so weak, they can't even deal with you murlocs permanently!
Gazlowe: *titter* Eh, no clue what that means. Thanks, though!
Genji: ...I am never eating sushi again.
Greymane: Ha. To think a creature like you could cause so much chaos...
Gul'dan: There is much hatred in you... but you could be so much more. DRINK MURKY! EMBRACE YOUR DESTINY!
Hanzo: A talking fish? Is this a joke!?
Illidan: Oh, for the love of...
Imperius: May those who have wronged you burn in the flames of your wrath!
Jaina: *Giggles* Okay, that's... kinda cute.
Dreadlord Jaina: Murlocs. Unwitting servants of the Old Gods.
Johanna: Ah, words of wisdom as always, my articulate friend.
Warsong Johanna: A murloc? I used to punch you into rivers! Ahahaha- uh... sorry.
Junkrat: You what, mate?!
Kael'thas: I feel I should be offended, but... I'm not certain why.
Kel'Thuzad: Your curiosity will be the death of you, Murky. Over and over again.
Kerrigan: I sense a lot of hatred in you for one so small.
Queen of Ghosts Kerrigan: Aheh. You're alright, kid. Stick with me.
Kharazim: You speak as a bubbling river. Huh. Delightful.
Leoric: What?! You dare to mock a king?!
Space Lord Leoric: If that is what you wish, I will not impede your wrath.
Li Li: Aww, you're so cute.
Li-Ming: Ugh, if you can't say anything intelligent, don't say anything at all.
Baleog: Pfft. Tell me about it.
Erik: How did a sea serpent end up here? And such a tiny one too!
Olaf: Ho. Was that you or my stomach?
Lt. Morales: Um... anyone fluent in mackerel? Salmon? ...Anyone?
Lunara: Ah! Um... *Sheepish* I'm so out of practice... Mrglrgl?
Maiev: WHERE IS MURKIDAN!?
Malfurion: Mmph, should've brushed up on my Nerglish.
Mal'Ganis: This is why all who join the Legion are required to learn Demonic.
Malthael: You... understand my great work?
Medivh: Mmm. Yes. Right, right... I... have no idea what you just said.
Mei: What a cute little amphibian! I bet it's nice and warm where you come from.
Mephisto: Such hatred burns within your heart. An inferno... that would consume ALL OF HUMANITY!
Muradin: Hurgggh, that sound still gives me the heebie-jeebies.
Maraudin' Muradin: Somethin' tells me you're even WORSE than the Zerg!
Nova: *sigh* I hate sushi...
Orphea: Do I pretend to understand, or just ignore this?
Probius: *Confused beeping*
Qhira: You remind me of an ancient Iresian creature. Before they went extinct due to stupidity, that is.
Ragnaros: RUN BACK TO NEPTULON!
Raynor: I dunno if I need ya to speak slower or faster, cause I have NO IDEA what that means!
Rehgar: *Lacking his usual bombast* Well, at least you've got a fighting spirit.
Rexxar: Ahhh, this one has some fight in him! Interesting.
Samuro: Hmm. Your words are muddled, but your desire for vengeance is clear!
Monkey King Samuro: Hah! Unruly fish! I shall pound you flat for that!
Sgt. Hammer: E-NUN-CI-ATE. Sounds like yer speakin' gibberish.
Sonya: I'm not even going to pretend I understand that.
Stitches: Stitches like funny friend!
Stukov: I have better things to do than... socialize with dinner.
Sylvanas: You cannot be serious.
Tassadar: You must let go of your hatred, young one. Vengeance is not the way.
Mecha Tassadar: Error. Translation... not found.
Thrall: Hmm... I wonder what that means...
Tracer: Winston's an odd one, but you're a whole 'nother level!
Tychus: Uh, what?
Infested Tychus: *Completely bewildered* Huh???
Tyrael: Ha, ha! Eloquently put, my young friend!
Mecha Tyrael: Translation in progress. Please stand by —- What? How DARE you?!
Tyrande: *Completely serious* Steel yourself, young one.
Uther: You want to run that past me again?
Valeera: Oh, yuck! You didn't just... make inky, did you?
Valla: I'm sorry, is something stuck in your throat?
Varian: Oh sure, that's cute now, but I know what happens when you grow up!
Whitemane: A tadpole? Have you been exposed to the plague? ANSWER ME!
Xul: That sound is rather chilling...
Yrel: I hate to think what would happen if the Legion ever corrupted your kind.
Zagara: What did you just say to me?!
Zarya: I do not know how to respond to that. No? Yes? Maybe?
Zeratul: Do not let vengeance consume you, small one.
Zul'jin: Wha' ju say to me? *Beat* BHAHAHA! Thas' what I thought.
- Speaking of Murky, Li-Ming doesn't understand what he is.Li-Ming: What kind of monster are you? Do you have affixes?
- Genji has this to say if he starts on the same team as Chen:
- During the Eternal Conflict event, players began to hear Deckard Cain's voice at the start of most games, announcing the presence of a Treasure Goblin. With the Kharazim patch and the quest to kill fifty Treasure Goblins included within it, Cain got more lines for successive Treasure Goblins in a single day. But so far the most entertaining has been this:
- The Raven Lord, the default announcer in Cursed Hollow, is so gloriously dry and snarky.Raven Lord: [Death] May I suggest... dodging?
Raven Lord: [Tribute spawn] I grow tired of your petty squabbling. Gather tribute, and earn my favour.
Raven Lord: [Enemy curse end] Enough! The curse is over. Perhaps now you realise its value, yes?
- Occasionally when someone reconnects in the Garden of Terror stage, Lady Nightshade has this gem:Lady Nightshade: Welcome back, hero... Now, get back to work!
- Sky Temple also has one that is made even more amazing with its delivery.Ka: A pity... the hero came back...
- Blackheart tries his hand at Drunken Song — and as you'd expect, it's predictably hammy.
Blackheart: You're dead, matie! Welcome to the crew!
- Apparently, Blackheart has a few vacancies in his crew to fill, as the player may find out if they die.
Blackheart: Could always use another soul in me crew!
- Hearing the Raven Lord and Grave Keeper argue on the Towers of Doom map. Leading to this exchange:Raven Lord: Heroes, I have opened a tunnel near our core that leads to the battleground's center. Use it well.Grave Keeper: What?! I mean — I knew I could do that! I've opened my tunnel as well!
- All* of the custom announcers actually have special lines that play when you're playing as the character the announcer is based on.Abathur: Organism Abathur present on battlefield. Not possible. Unique creation./Abathur unique. Possible proof of alternate universes. Intriguing concept.
Alarak: An imposter! Ji'nara, dispose of this charlatan!/You have caught my interest. I will be judging your actions. Harshly./Hmm, it seems you are a true follower of the Highlord. Carry on.
Alexstrasza: Another Alexstrasza? Unexpected, to say the least.
Anub'arak: The Master has many Crypt Lords, but you... you are different./You are familiar to me. Hmm, did I consume your brood?
Arthas: Impossible. There can only be one Lich King.
Blaze: I like your style, soldier./That's guy's lookin' good. Real good.
Brightwing: Brightwing see Brightwing on battlefield! Hellooooo Brightwing! Wait... confused now.
Deckard: What is this strange magic? Is that me?/Some foul creature has disguised itself as me!/I always wondered if I had a long-lost twin...
Diablo: You desire for me to announce AND fight? Hmrph, so be it.
D.Va: Whoa, is that me down there?! This is so unreal!/Uh, does that MEKA look familiar to anyone else? Hey! Get your own style!
ETC: Who authorized this use of my likeness? Somebody's gettin' sued!/Never pay for a cover band when you got the real deal right here, baby.
Falstad: Who's that handsome devil on the griffon down there? Oooh. Reminds me o' somebody.
Fenix: I will not shirk the battle while others fight for me!/I was not made into a Dragoon to stand in the sidelines./Another Fenix? The Purifier program is faster than I anticipated.
Garrosh: Ha! I see you picked the strongest hero!
Gazlowe: What, you want me fighting AND talkin'?! Geez... alright, it's fine! But my fee just doubled./Aaaw, look at me down there. Hi, me! Aw, who's a handsome little guy? You are!
Genji: Another green cyborg-ninja-dude? And here I thought I was one of a kind!
Hanzo: Ha! Well chosen./Is that me? Must I do everything myself!?
Illidan: That demon hunter down there... is that- no! Impossible.
Jaina: Is- is that me? Strange! I don't recall casting Mirror Image./Get ready for battle... Uh, me? Huh. The Archmagi never covered this in our studies./Excuse me, sorceress, are you..? Actually, I don't wanna know./How can I be up here and down there? Unless... *gasp* a Dreadlord!
Junkrat: Is that me down there? Good to know I've got a spare!/Looks like I've got a "leg up" on the competition. HA!
Kel'Thuzad: Ras Frostwhisper? Is that you? No? Maybe... Rage Winterchill? It's hard to see from up here!/A member of the KT fan club, are you! Who could blame you?
Li Li: I get to fight and announce, too? Awesome!
Maiev: Is that me? The mask makes it hard to tell./I will personally lead this mission!
Mal'Ganis: Another Nathrezim with MY name? ... Having a double could be useful.../Is that an impersonator or an illusion? Either way, it's an impressive deception!
Malfurion: Is that me on the battlefield? How is that even possible? I must be dreaming.
Mephisto: I had heard rumours of an Uber-Mephisto's existence. I am pleased to see you proved them false. Muahahaha!/Another of me? There are few things I could hate more./What is this mockery!? There can only be ONE Lord of Hatred... and you are not I.
Muradin: Hell of a view from up 'ere. ...wait where am I? And how am I down there, too?
Nazeebo: Another Umbaru? Fight well, brother.
Orphea: Well that's a familiar face./It's just an illusion, but wouldn't it be fun if there were two of me?/Always wished I had a sibling!
Rehgar: I wonder who that shaman is. It's always hard to tell from this angle.
Sgt. Hammer: I know these tanks all look the same, but still... something mighty familiar 'bout that one.
Sonya: It is rare I see another child of Bul-Kathos on my travels.
Stitches: Stitches hear self in head. Confused!
Tassadar: Is my hallucination active? That High Templar looks a lot like me.
Tychus: Wait a second here. I gotta announce and fight, too? Seems like a whole lotta BS to me./Announce and fight, huh? Sure, let me just do all the work./Announcer and fighter? Heheh, you must just love hearin' me talk.
Tyrael: Wait, am I the announcer as well? Curious./Of course I can be in two places at once! I am an angel after all.
Mecha Tyrael: Deploying auxiliary Tyrael units on to the battlefield./Tyrael 02 is fully operational.
Valla: A demon hunter? Strange, I feel like I know her./What demonic magic is at play? That demon hunter... is ME!?
Whitemane: An inquisitor? Together we shall spread the crusade's ideals across this land!/Hail, sister! With you as my champion, we shall be UNSTOPPABLE!/*Gasp* Where did you get that chapeau? Well... it looks terrible on you.
Yrel: Is that the me from the other timeline? ... Is there a me from the other timeline?/I am in two places at once? Not even the Prophet could've foreseen this!/There are two of me now. Ooh, the Nexus is truly a strange place!
Zeratul: What is this illusion? How can I be in two places at once?
- Murky and The Butcher are exactly as verbose as you would expect them to be.
- Gazlowe is by far the funniest of the lot, with plenty of zingers flying all around.Gazlowe: [Gates open] Hurt them like they owe you money!
Gazlowe:[Takedown] Hey, don't forget to check their pockets. What?/Jeez. Don't pull any punches or anythin'./Aww, they're still squirmin'! Gross!
Gazlowe: [Death] Ooh, yer dead... can I have yer stereo?/It's okay, just run back to yer corpse and— oh! Oh my gosh, it's gone! Guess you'll hafta wait!/Hey, rememba when you died? Oh yeah, that just happened.
Gazlowe: [Enemy fort destroyed] NICE EXPLOSION!!! I'd give it an 8./Oooh, that's a lotta property damage.
Gazlowe: [Disconnect] Welp, one of these heroes is now a robot. So, y'know. Enjoy that./So uh, is it me or is that guy just sittin' there? Hey. Buddy. MOVE!
Gazlowe: [Reconnect] Hey, look who's back! What, was it the router? Yeah, yeah I bet it was the router, right?
- Brightwing gets some pretty funny ones too, mostly about her Cute and Psycho Ax-Crazy tendencies.Brightwing: [Takedown] Oooh, that corpse make for good eat! / Chomp, chomp, chomp!
Brightwing: [Ally killing spree] Your ally has killed many people! That is good <3
Brightwing: [Killing spree] Yeaaaah, killing spree! >:)
Brightwing: [Death] You are dead now. Dead, dead, dead!
Brightwing: [Victory] Victory! Now we are friends forever <3
Brightwing: [Fort lost] Our fort is destroyed. And dead.
- She also has some based on her speech patterns and general childishness.
Brightwing: [Disconnect] That one is not moving. Maybe they have fallen asleep?
Brightwing: [Ally core under attack] Our core feels ouchy :<
Brightwing: [Death] You take nap? Brightwing take nap too! (adorable snoring) / Brightwing think you do good job!
Brightwing: [Defeat] Well, we have lost. But we can still be friends! <3
- Most of Abathur's lines are standard fair for him, although he has this one:Abathur: [Death] Death inadvisable.
- It's also an absolute joy to hear him say "Hero of Storm" instead of "Hero of the Storm."
- ETC has a few amazing ones as well.ETC: [Death] Whoa. You're dead, man.
ETC: [Defeat] Well, I'll see ya on the tour bus. And bring your girlfriend.
ETC: [Allied fort destroyed] Yeah! Oh... wait, that was ours.
ETC: [Disconnect] Uh oh, I think that guy just passed out. Does somebody wanna poke him? I ain't gonna do it.
- Junkrat's boundless enthusiasm just bleeds into his announcer pack, and it's a delight.Junkrat: [Defeat] Well hey, at least we got to see something explode!
Junkrat: [Enemy keep destroyed] Look at all that smoke! *sobs* It's beautiful...
Junkrat: [Allied keep destroyed] Just want you to know, that wasn't me. This time.
Junkrat: [Allied fort destroyed] I really hope Roadhog wasn't stashing the loot in there.
- The Alarak announcer is exactly the Highlord of Snarkery fans were hoping for.Alarak: [Game start] Combat begins shortly. Your failure will likely follow.
Alarak: [Takedown] Again. But slowly, and painfully.
Alarak: [Death] At least your failure was spectacular./The idea is to be better than your enemies, you know./Are you dead again? Ohoho... tsk-tsk-tsk.*
Alarak: [Defeat] Is your blood boiling? Good./Ahh, what you're best at.
Alarak: [Victory] Victory, more or less./I would not get used to that if I were you.
Alarak: [New talent] Must I really remind you to choose a talent?/Perhaps the correct talent this time?
Alarak: [Ally core under attack] Protect the core! The concept is alarmingly simple!/Your core is under attack! Again!
- Cloaken is basically a tutorial mode that explains game mechanics as well as give tips and tricks, and is just beaming with energy. It's hard to get salty when he's your announcer of choice.
Cloaken: [Takedown] Ooooh... that guy didn't read the patch notes!
- He has this wonderful line:
- Hell, the fact that a Kevin Johnson announcer exists.
Tournaments and Meta
- At the 2017 Western Clash. Trikslyr and Dreadnaught are commentating the third match between (then) world champions Fnatic and upstarts Team Expert. Expert's ADRD has chosen to play The Lost Vikings, an unusual pick, especially considering that Fnatic's scHwimpi is running Chromie, a hard counter to them. Both commentators are excited about this.Trik: ADRD will be planning to use Baelog here. It's kinda weird! A lot of people spec into Erik. They use Erik as their playmaker. ADRD is like, "Nah: I like the guy that throws swords."
Dread: I mean, I would too. It's pretty flashy, his push is pretty neat. But Erik, on certain maps, does have value here and there. And it does make sense you'd have to talent on him. He is the smallest, he needs a bit of help. Olaf only gets it in lategame, and it makes a lot of sense: he's the big tough guy.
Trik: He's got a belly button too. You know? We've all seen the belly button.
Dread: (incoherent laughter)
Trik: And we all know that's a positive! For Olaf... I didn't, I didn't know how to follow you up there.
Dread: (incoherent laughter)
Trik: All right! In the bottom-right, though, we have the four-man set-up here from Team Expert, which you will see from the Vikings. Dread! Are you okay?
Dread: (squeaky voice) No!
Trik: (laughing) Okay, good, I'm glad!... The four-man is going to be strong and enabled because of the Vikings. You already see Baelog in the middle, but Quackniix is gonna come in and threaten him.
Dread: I'm sorry, it was just, the belly button got to me.
- The entire HeroStorm series is incredible. It's an animated, Super-Deformed, heavily stylized, and shockingly accurate portrayal of the game. It's by the same guy who made StarCrafts and Wo W Craft, for reference.
- On Blaze's launch day, a streamer named Grubby figured out that you can draw a specific picture using oil.Grubby: He did what on purpose? What do you mean? I was peeling for Morales *cracks up*