Mad Libs 2.0

1. Roll a d6. Use this table to determine how many names you have:

1-5	1-5 You have 1 name.
6	You have 1 name + 6 other alternate names

2. If you rolled a 6, you must do this worksheet 6 more times. You do notneed to complete Sections 1-3 on subsequent name generations.

1. What is your full name?
Bob McBob
2. What do you do at your occupation?
Doctor
2a. Condense the verb in your answer into a single -er noun. (e.g. if you are a sheep farmer, your answer will be “farmer”)
Healer
3. What was your first pet’s specific species/breed? If you never had a pet,please answer with an animal you wish you owned.
Gorilla
4. What’s your most embarrassing childhood memory? Be specific.
Kissing someone in front of everyone
4a. Condense this story into two words.
Kiss exposed
5. What is the object you’d least like to be stabbed by?
10-foot pole
6. What is something you are good at? (Verb ending in -ing)
Yeeting
7. How many carrots do you believe you could eat in one sitting, if someone,like, forced you to eat as many carrots as possible?
12
8. What is your greatest intangible fear? (e.g. death, loneliness, fear itself)
Joy
9. What is your greatest tangible fear? (e.g. horses)
Wig
10. What is the last thing you did before starting this worksheet?
Check another troper's gallery
11. What condition is your body currently in? (single word answer)
Rotting
12. Favorite state of matter?
Neutron-Degenerate Matter
13. A word your name kind of sounds like? (e.g. Brian -> Brain)
Blob
14. What is your Zodiac sign?
Sagittarius
15. If you had to define your personality in one word, what would it be?
Choo

16. Who is your favorite film character? (NOTE: must be played by Kurt Russell)
Copper
17. What is the last word of the title of your favorite Kubrick film?
Odyssey
18. What is the first word in the title of your favorite Joy Division album?
Unknown
19.What is a scientific term you picked up from listening to NPR once?
Principle of moments
20. What is a piece of military hardware you think looks cool even though war is bad?
Panzer
21. What is something you’d enjoy watching Mads Mikkelsen do?
Consider this: you're at a Texas Hold ’Em table, and the player to your right places a small bet. You're holding a pair of eights – a good hand only if you can scare the other players off the table, because it's not likely to hold up. Your strongest move is to steal the blinds, so what do you do? You have to invent for yourself a monster hand – paired kings or aces – and you do this by going all-in.

You've just built an alternate reality, a hand that doesn't exist. You can't go all in on a pair of eights, or at least that's what you're hoping everybody will think (and you have to constantly change up your style, or else they'll start figuring you out). The best poker players must have the ability to see through other players' constructed fantasies, and they also must have exceptional abilities to convince other players to believe in their own.
21a. Please condense into one word
Betting

1.THE -MAN CONDITION: Roll a d4. Use this table to determine whether you have this condition:

1-3	You do not have this condition.
4	You have this condition. Your last name will include the suffix-man. If your name already has -man at the end of it, I guess you’re just going to have -manman at the end of your name.

---

2.THE CONDITION CONDITION: Roll a d8. Use this table to determine your what this condition will do to you:

1-5	You do not have this condition.
6	You’re big. Your name must have “Big” at the beginning of it.
7	You are older than you once were. Your name must have “Old” at the beginning of it.
8	You are how you currently are. Please add your answer from Section 2, Number 11 to the beginning of your name.

---

3.THE CLONE CONDITION: Roll a d12. Use this table to determine if you have this condition:

1-11	You do not have this condition.
12	You are a clone of someone else, or you have been brainwashed into becoming a mental doppelganger of someone else. Find someone who has completed this worksheet and replace 50% of your Kojima name with 50% of their Kojima name.

---

4.THE KOJIMA CONDITION: Roll a d100 (or two d10s, using one as the 1s place and the other as the 10s place.) Use this table to determine if you have this condition:

1-68, 70-100	You do not have this condition.
69	Oh no. You are Hideo Kojima. Hideo Kojima created you and is also you. You are the man who created himself and there is nothing you can do about it. You’re in Kojima’s world—your world—and that’s just the breaks, pal. Stop this worksheet now. You’re Hideo Kojima. Go do the things that Hideo Kojima does.

5. Roll a d20. Use this table to determine your name category. Once youhave figured out your name category, you can skip ahead to the section that outlines the rules of your name:

1	You have a NORMAL NAME (See Section 6)
2-6	You have an OCCUPATIONAL NAME (See Section 7)
7-10	You have a HORNY NAME (See Section 8)
11-13	You have a THE NAME (See Section 9)
14-17	You have a COOL NAME (See Section 10)
18-19	You have a VIOLENT NAME (See Section 11)
20	You have a NAME THAT LACKS SUBTEXT (See Section 12)

1.Please rewrite your answer from Section 2, Number 1 here. This is your full Kojima name:
Bob McBob
2.Add any conditions you accrued in Section 4.
3.That’s your name. Your Kojima name is probably just your actual name.Sorry if you were expecting something wild. Skip to Section 13.

1. Please rewrite your answer from Section 2, Number 2a here. This is your last name
Healer
2. Roll a d4. Use this table to determine your first name:

1	Your answer to Section 2, Number 15
2	Your answer to Section 2, Number 6
3	Your answer to Section 2, Number 13
4	Your answer to Section 3, Number 16

3. Add any conditions you accrued in Section 4.
4.That’s your Kojima name. Skip to Section 13.

1. Please rewrite your answer from Section 2, Number 3 here. This is your last name:
Gorilla
2. Roll a d4. Use this table to determine your first name:

1	Your answer to Section 2, Number 12.
2	Your first name is “Naked.”
3	Your answer is Section 2, Number 6.
4	Your answer to Section 2, Number 14.

3. If you feel like it, your middle name can be “Lickable.” I won’t stop you.
4. Add any conditions you accrued in Section 4.
5.That’s your Kojima name. Skip to Section 13.

1. Your first name is “The.”
2. Roll a d4. Use this table to determine your last name:

1	Your answer to Section 2, Number 8
2	Your answer to Section 2, Number 9.
3	Your answer is Section 2, Number 4a.
4	Your answer to Section 3, Number 20.

3. Add any conditions you accrued in Section 4. If you have any conditions that go at the front of a name, they now go directly after “The.”
4.That’s your name. Skip to Section 13.

1. Please rewrite your answer from Section 3, Number 21a here. This is your first name:
Betting
2.Roll a d6. Use this table to determine your last name:

1	Your answer to Section 3, Number 17.
2	Your answer to Section 3, Number 18.
3	Your answer to Section 3, Number 19.
4	Your answer to Section 2, Number 6.
5	Your answer to Section 2, Number 8.
6	Your answer to Section 2, Number 13.

3. Add any conditions you accrued in Section 4. 4. That’s your name. Skip to Section 13.

1. Please rewrite your answer from Section 2, Number 5 here. This is your last name:
10-foot pole
2.Roll a d4. Use this table to determine your last name:

1	Your answer to Section 3, Number 19.
2	Your answer to Section 2, Number 12.
3	Your answer to Section 3, Number 20.
4	Your answer to Section 2, Number 9.

3.That’s your name. Skip to Section 13.

5.Please rewrite your answer from Section 2, Number 10 here. This is your full name: Check another troper's gallery
6.Add any conditions you accrued in Section 4.
7.That’s your name. Skip to Section 13.

1. Use the following blank to fill in your monologue. Explain your Kojima name to the best of your ability. Feel free to draw from personal experience, friendships you’ve had, or just say some guy on the internet made you fill out an 11-page worksheet to gain this name. Here’s a start:

---

Hi, I’m Big Wig 10-foot Pole, and if you’re wondering how I got this name, well, let me tell you. I was born with a defect: I'm naturally bald. No single strand of hair has ever grown on my scalp. To spare the misery of premature baldness, my parents had me wear a wig ever since I was a toddler. It didn't take long until the bullies picked up on this. They teased me, passing my beautiful tuft of artificial blond hair between their sweaty palms. Tired of being beaten up for no good reason, I found myself under the tutelage of Mon Kas, Wushu Master. The staff in particular has always fascinated me. I trained with it night and day, until one day, a gang of thugs ambushed me in an empty street. My instinct guided me to the nearest staff-like object: a 10-foot long flag pole, and showed them the fruits of my lessons. Of course, I will not limit myself to wield such an improvised weapon, especially in this line of work, but know that those who have crossed their blades with me dare not to touch me again.