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Tropers / President Stalkeyes

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"There's an old saying in Tennesse, I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee, that says 'Fool Me Once... Shame On... Shame On You. ...You Fool Me, Can't Get Fooled Again."

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We interrupt this programme to bring you this! If you like legal dramas and crime comedies starring talking, bipedal mammals, then these are the fanfics for you.

Greetings, Earthlings. I am called President Stalkeyes.

I'm not really a President of anything, but it's an impressive title, yes? Good, I'm glad we agree.

I'm new to the whole 'interacting with the Troper community' aspect of the life-ruining affliction that I believe is called 'Being a Troper', but that doesn't mean I'm new to interacting with the human race in general. I've been around for twenty years. More than enough time to learn how to say 'hello' without spontaneously making someone's glasses pop off.

To lazily copy-paste a sentence from my introductory post in the forums, if I could sum myself up in one sentence, it'd be 'miserable pseudo-intellectual contrarian going through a quarter-life crisis'. Which would be a very Self Deprecating way of putting things, it has to be said. I'm really quite nice and cuddly. Well, maybe not cuddly, unless you consider your average Stick Insect 'cuddly'.

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Things I like:

Tropes that may apply to me. To avoid accusations of Narcissism, these will be strictly negative:

  • Delusions of Eloquence: Am especially fond of utilising egregiously sesquipedelian vocabulary in a facetious attempt to construct a facade of greatly exaggerated intellect where one could not be located under scientific circumstance.
  • Idiot Hair: My hair provides a real-life version, with certain locks of it proving very stubborn when it comes to not sticking out.
  • Literal-Minded: The English language is such a wonderful thing, so it's even more wonderful to strip it down and expose how little sense it makes.
  • Nightmare Fetishist: For big, scary aliens (or Ugly Cute ones), especially those with eyes on stalks. In fact, just about any creature with eyestalks just seems adorable to me. Where did you think the name came from?
  • Ridiculous Procrastinator: I'll think of a description for this later.
  • Two Decades Behind: I'm trapped in the early 2000s. I'm still playing PS 2 games and making jokes about decade-old world events. I can't stand Smartphones. Why must everything have 'smart' in front of it now, anyway? Smart phones, smart TVs, smart cars, smart water, smart missiles. And what's wrong with something you use to phone people, and nothing else? At this rate, I'll be the Grumpiest Grumpy Old Man who ever grumped.
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