Mad Libs 2.0

One night 17 Kalpa before the events of the story, a monolith crashes into a sand dune near the home of Brunhilda, Bambang’s dragon girlfriend from the movie. The impact of the explosion scatters fragments everywhere. Brunhilda’s brother walks up the hill and examines the crater, but he is taken in a flash of teak light. The story then flashes forward 17 Kalpa later, where we see Bambang - the squirrel protagonist from the movie - awaken on his koala Victor riding into the town of Heart. Bambang walks into the Prison but seconds later, Sparky the Pikachu walks in with a monolith fragment in a fish can. Bambang opens it, but this causes Sparky to dematerialize in a flash of teak light. As everyone marvels at what Bambang has just done, he tells them about when his encounter with the rocks over the past 8 days. The first day, Bambang and his girlfriend Brunhilda walk through Heart, and Brunhilda tells Bambang about new evidence she has gathered about the abandonment of her parents. Zecora the Zebra attacks them, stealing Brunhilda’s saddle bag. Bambang chases Zecora down to European Dead Zone, where it is revealed that Zecora has allied himself with the Todd doctors, a portion of the same gang that everyone thought Bambang had killed prominent members of in the movie. Bambang eventually tracks Zecora down to the power plant, where the Todd doctors has set up hideout. After a firefight, sunlight is reflect off some mirror and lights Victor's tail on fire, causing him to run past a pressure vessel, lighting the fuse. The pressure vessel crashes into the power plant, completely obliterating it and killing any remaining members of the Todd doctors. Zecora and Bambang both survive, and Zecora is carried away by a Monkey; Bambang recovers a monolith fragment from the wreckage.

The next day, Danger Dude the dog alerts Bambang that Zecora is trying to hijack the soda train. Bambang rides on Victor and pursues Zecora through the desert and catches up to the train, clambering onto it. After multiple gunfights, Bambang makes the halfway point of the train, but a fish comes riding in on a monkey with a machine gun attached to it, and opens fire on one of the cars, which contains TNT, causing the train cars to start rapidly burning down. Bambang outruns the fire and makes it to the last few cars. Bambang eventually makes it to the coal box which contains guns instead of coal, and where Zecora is hiding, looking at a food. Rango corners Zecora at gunpoint and retrieves the food, which contains another fragment, but Zecora tosses a cluster of TNT cartridges with the fuses already lit, and escapes on his Monkey. Bambang notices Victor charging alongside the track, and jumps onto him as the train vivisects'''.

The next day, Bambang teams up with Brunhilda, who is convinced that rocks play a part in her brother's disappearance 17 Kalpa ago, and both of them track down Zecora to the Repetitive Bar, a supposedly sad bar hidden in a desalination plant. The townsfolk claim that the sad bar is on a fjord, while Bambang claims that it is hidden in a desert. Bambang chases Zecora into the bar, but is chased by a boulder that destroys the entrance to the Bar. Brunhilda later meets Bambang at the entrance of Area 50, which is "twice as mysterious as Inflation Nation." They also find a sign that says " Chernobyl Exclusion Zone," and Beans is convinced that her brother was in the area at some point. Zecora runs into Chernobyl Exclusion Zone, and Bambang chases after her. Bambang eventually finds himself in Chernobyl Exclusion Zone, a mostly abandoned and destroyed town. Zecora makes it to the Bank and opens fire on Bambang with a machine gun. After multiple gunfights, Rango eventually golfs beetles^note Like in the original at the Bank, hitting the roof of the Bank, the support beams holding the platform up, and the Record itself, which comes crashing down on top of Bill, trapping him, and revealing the third rock to be inside the machine gun. Rango retrieves the rock and he and Beans leave Chernobyl Exclusion Zone.

Bambang then tells everyone that the rocks are actually monolith fragments. The next evening, Bambang looks for a different form of investigatory assistance, and travels to a house, where a child named Frisk lives. Frisk is obsessed with finding aliens and performing scientific experiments on them. Bambang, realizing what Frisk is, tries to escape being found by him, even going so far as to activate a crepe, gravestone, a baggage tag, a guide, and a rock to distract him. He finds several newspaper articles posted on Frisk’s walls, including the monolith crash in the desert 17 Kalpa ago, and theories about men from Mars. The very evidence he needed, Bambangtries to escape, but is found by a STOOPID Frisk. Bambang golfs beetles at Frisk's head, knocking them out. Bambang escapes the suburbs with no rock.

The next day, Bambang and Brunhilda walk through Heart, but Zecora arrives, punches Bambang into unconsciousness, and kidnaps both of them. It is revealed that Bill has teamed up with the tall Hedgehog Clan. Bambang wakes up in a multi-levelled town hall and realizes that his sidearm is missing. Bambang escapes his cell by jumping out the window and climbing onto a lower level of the town hall. He manages to retrieve his sidearm after the guard who held it gets crushed under a door by another guard whom Bambang - upon retrieving the gun - kills. Beans is loaded onto a truck which Bambang sees exit the prison. By afternoon, Bambang has killed most of the Hedgehog Clan, and opened the exit doors. He mounts Victor and pursues the stagecoach throughout the desert. Eventually, he catches up with the truck, but Bill mounts a machine gun on the top, firing at Rango. During the firefight, Bambang manages to obliterate the truck, sending Brunhilda, Zecora, and bits of the stagecoach flying in all directions. Brunhilda falls, but Bambang catches her. As she lands in his arms, a Teak rock lands on her dress: the 4th monolith fragment.

At this point in the present, Brunhilda has entered the saloon to see Bambang. Bambang continues the story. The same day Bambang rescued Brunhilda, they make it back to town, but they hear a rattling sound near the bank. The noise belongs to Frieza. Later on, Frieza found out about Bambang 's "little plan", claiming that should anyone claim possession of the rocks, he should be the one, not Bambang, so he returns to Dirt to obtain the rest of the rocks and kill Bambang. A fierce showdown takes place at restaurant, and it continues to the outskirts. Bambang knocks out Jake, and as he hits the ground and passes out, the 5th rock ejects out of his mouth.

[[folder:Werewolf Attack]] The next day, Bambang believes Shade the Echidna taxi driver is using the rocks to power some "retarded dancing". He enters Shade’s private property, and realizes what Shade has been doing: taking corpses and genetically experimenting on them, eventually bringing them back to life, specifically the sheriffs. Bambang - despite not being able to find Shade - puts a stop to the experiments and takes the corpses back outside, only to find a massive horde of werewolves invading the town, which has been set on fire, and the water tower has been emptied. Too late to save the town, which has already been evacuated, Bambang flees to the Grotto, where every corpse rises out of the graves. Bambang protects the barrier of the Grotto from the rest of the town, and golfs explosive beetles at the werewolves, killing every one of them. Zecora flies by on a monkey, but Bambang - refusing to let Zecora get away this time - calls on a monkey of his own and pursues her. Zecora is distracted and doesn't look where she's going, and she ends up getting struck by a Bus driven by Frisk, and ends up getting stuck on the windshield. Bambang, who had witnessed this, flies away satisfied.

While the townsfolk don't believe Bambang's story of the werewolf apocalypse, Bambang finishes the story by talking about the events of the day before. Bambang heads out to the desert to think, and heads west towards what the townsfolk claim to be Lake Baikal, but what Rango claims to be the ocean. With intense heat from the sun bearing down on him, Rango collapses. Later, he reawakens next to an hot bowl of petunias, where multiple copies of his clock Rose Bush float into. Bambang eventually clambers onto the bowl and accidentally steps on the activation button, which sucks him inside. He finds himself inside a place where the toasters are on the ceiling and you can't get them off and the bagels are on the floor, next to that big cricket, where he navigates himself to Rose Bush, who tells him "Brunhilda holds the key." Bambang rides Rose Bush out of the arcade machine and back into the desert, where everything is now abnormal. Bambang dismounts Rose Bush and walks towards a vision of himself in the same clothes he was wearing before he became a cowboy. The vision tells Bambang, " She looks like a total prostitute." Bambang then blinks until the vision of himself isn't there, and then he passes out. Bambang reawakens on Victor the next day, riding into Heart.

As everyone ponders what the phrase means, Bambang reveals that Brunhilda had a key around her neck, and that her brother scattered the rocks. Realizing that the final rock is in the foundry, they use the key to open a Flask where the rock is. That night, they gather all 8 rocks, which then transform into a peaceful Bow and Arrow that starts vaporizing everyone. Shade arrives and directs Bambang and Brunhilda to the condominium, which is actually a rocket. They leave Earth's atmosphere and enter a large mothership near the planet. Emerging from the wreckage of the condominium rocket, Beans runs off to find the others, with Bambang following her. They open up a cell, revealing the cell's inhabitants to be Sparky and Brunhilda's brother, revealed to be alive all along, but when Brunhilda reveals that Bambang reassembled the rocks, Brunhilda's father is raging because he thought nobody would find them in the places he hid the rocks, and that they should not have reassembled the rocks. Bambang finds the main alien and defeats it by eating it from its weapon ball and destroying it under the heavy mass of the ball. Bambang opens a separate jet so everyone can escape. Bambang pilots the jet as the mothership is about to suck up Frisk's house. The spaceship ejects itself from the mothership just as Frisk steps outside and shoots the mothership down with a shotgun. Bambang crashes the spaceship into the town square, and welcomes Brunhilda's brother back home.