For moments on TEMPUS individuals, see here. For moments on ARMIS individuals, see here.

open/close all folders

Group Collabs

Vesper's Interviews

Vesper holds interviews with his other guildmates, including Tempus Vanguard, to let him and the audience get to know them better.

One of his favorite questions to ask is "what is your ideal superpower?" The results sometimes lead to laughs:
- Magni's choice is "the ability to make people explode, like Dr. Manhattan." Vesper is a little taken aback, as he normally expects a choice that has Mundane Utility to ease daily life, and that answer would help him understand the interviewee better. Magni just wants an absurd power to threaten and kill people, which creates more questions than it answers.
- Altare prefers teleportation and casually disses Axel's choice of flight, bringing up the Required Secondary Powers needed to not suffer in flight.
- Bettel's superpower of choice is also teleportation, because it's frugal. They also go into the additional details and limitations the teleportation power would need to avoid a Teleporter Accident. He details some horrific ways you can Tele-Frag someone, where his and his victim's bodies would be stuck together "like a Bethesda model."
- Flayon's choice is a really greedy one — the ability to steal other people's powers and become a Jack of All Trades, but also so that he won't get really upset should he somehow lose his powers. Flayon did consider invisibility, but he worried about Power Incontinence where he's stuck invisible and can't be heard either, which distresses him.
- Hakka's choice of power is the ability to manipulate time and space, but it's mainly to lay waste to the world and then sulk about the lack of a goal afterwards. His real choice of superpower is just teleportation.
- When Vesper poses the question to Shinri, he mentions that Shinri has been very indecisive as he puts a lot of thought into counters and uses. Shinri's answer is telekinesis, but it's so incredibly complex that its only real application is to be able to grab his phone without dropping it when he gets up in the morning. Vesper is confused over whether this really is a superpower, and Shinri elaborates that he's put on so many restrictions because he knows that he'll stress out over With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility, so a very low-scale power would impose less of an emotional burden on him. Vesper reassures him that as long as Shinri isn't blowing people up like Magni wants to, he's in the clear with whatever he uses his power with.
From Axel's interview:
- Axel admits that there aren't a lot of things he wants to buy, and he'd rather bulk-buy things he wants and is more content with three outfits. Vesper interprets this as Axel having a Limited Wardrobe consisting of three copies of the same outfit.
- Axel mentions that he goes shirtless half the time due to North Elysium's hot weather, and chat goes wild with their imagination.
- Since Axel is bilingual, he asks him what language he thinks in. Axel replies that he doesn't think, derailing Vesper's intent to drum him up as an intelligent young man. Axel lets it come to him naturally, much like nobody really thinks about how they walk. Vesper admits that sometimes while he's jogging, he actually frets over his movements — as he puts it, "you are now running manually."
During Altare's interview:
- When Vesper brings up Magni's choice of superpower, they both have a good laugh and Altare even outlines a scenario where Magni becomes a silly supervillain like Dr. Doofenshmirtz with an archnemesis Axel the Axelotl. Magni, in chat, threatens Altare, and he plays along by suddenly going silent before disappearing in a "pop". Chat panics and Vesper asks Magni to bring him back, to which Magni responds, "You know I can't let you do that."
- When Vesper asks Altare what makes him angry, Altare breaks his usually chill attitude to go on a rant about Shaco from League of Legends, who can go out of their way to kill Altare in-game despite his teammates in his vicinity to defend him. It's one of the rare times he's shown such intense anger, and its coined the nickname "Regis Maldtare".
During Bettel's interview:
- Vesper asks Bettel "If you could go back in time to prank your 10-year-old self, what would you do?" Bettel's prank involves just appearing in a stereotypical futuristic getup, giving an ominous message — "August 19th 2023, 7:43 PM" — and then leaving without elaboration. Vesper can't help but wonder if the person who left that superchat is actually himself from the future. They even entertain the unexpected outcomes of pranking himself, including immediately discovering he's injured his mental health when he returns to his own timeline, and discovering doomsday projects in the interim started by his past self. To top it off, they muse that it would be most insulting when the fated time rolls around and nothing happens.
- Vesper compiles a bunch of nicknames that the Bettelion has coined for Bettel and asks him to rate the top three. Bettel really likes "God's Blunder" because it's so cruel it Crosses the Line Twice — "a mental reach-around," as Vesper puts it. "Gerber Baby" also amuses Bettel because of Inherently Funny Words.
- Bettel entails an embarrassing story where he was so drunk off cocktails at a gamer bar that he passed out at the toilet bowl, and anyone who needed to use the bathroom had to piss over him. Vesper is so amused that he deems Bettel's story as the most embarrassing drunk story — more so than Vesper's own drunk stories. This includes Vesper getting stabbed and not noticing it till the next morning, or Vesper getting pepper-sprayed for trying to pet a police horse.
During Flayon's interview:
- Right off the bat, Flayon starts weirdly hyperventilating. It turns out that he intentionally does so to weird out whoever he's speaking with so that they don't focus on his flaws, which casts a lot of his behavior in other collabs in new light.
- Flayon lets slip that he learned his feminine voice by watching hentai, causing the chat to do a collective Double Take.
- Vesper asks Flayon about his favourite Melty Blood character, but then honestly just asks to talk about Tsukihime. What follows is the two of them derailing the interview excitedly gushing about the visual novel and its sequel, especially when Flayon recounts the moment he discovered that Magni had read it too. When they make plans to play the Tsukihime remake, Flayon laments that his copy is only in Japanese and he can't understand a word of it. Vesper plans to tie Axel to a chair to make him translate the visual novel for them as they go along.
From Hakka's interview:
- Right off the bat, Hakka's model is unusually large compared to all the other interviewees, who are usually scaled to how tall they are compared to Vesper. Vesper assures the audience that Hakka is huge — and then Hakka zooms in on himself even more.
- Since Vesper's been playing VA-11 HALL-A, he's keen to learn from Tempus' resident mixologist what would make a drink that represents him. Hakka's choice involves an eggnog with earl grey tea and a touch of rum... with a cinnamon stick shoved in to represent Vesper's spear. Hakka names it "El Abuelo" — "The Grandpa."
- When talking about Hakka's own drink, they go into a tangent about tequila and mezcal, and Hakka admits that he eats the worm without really thinking about whether it's meant to be eaten or not. Vesper starts laughing from the chat comment "Actual bird."
- Vesper asks Hakka if he's had a near-death experience. Hakka's had five! He recounts a time where he went crab-hunting using spears, but got swarmed by crabs. But it wasn't the crabs that nearly killed him, he nearly drowned by slipping into an underwater pothole. And that is why he has a deathly fear of deep bodies of water.
- Hakka continues with his near-death experiences and recounts a time when he got dengue. He was absolutely debilitated — and then his appendix burst. He was rushed to the hospital and had an operation that he described as "cable management inside." He took six months to recover... and got an intestinal infection. The silly bit comes to the last few days leading to his discharge, where he was told he had to be able to fart before he could go,^note leading to young Hakka begging God to let him fart. After all this, both he and Vesper are convinced that he's nearly immortal!
- An unexpected fact about Hakka is that he had attended but dropped out of medical school (like Doogie Howser, M.D.) and he's got enough medical knowledge to double as a "back street doctor". Vesper and Hakka excitedly go into hypothetical scenarios where Hakka moonlights as a heavy metal doctor, doing surgeries with crazy antics.
From Shinri's interview:
- As a Team Dad-to-Team Dad conversation, Vesper tries to indirectly ask Shinri which of Vanguard is his favourite, and almost forgets that Hakka's in the chat, who reacts with "UH OH!" The question he asks is "If you had to feed only one, who would you feed?" and the answer is Bettel (Hakka, in chat, goes "HE HATES ME") and Shinri even recalls that he joked about feeding Bettel "chicken tenders wrapped in bacon and coated in peanut butter" since they're some of the few foods that Bettel has no qualms eating, and Vesper theorizes that by combining these foods in an unappetizing way Bettel will be forced to experience new things.
- When Vesper admits that he's been watching and learning from how Shinri handles other people, the Vesties claim that Vesper is still quite unhinged. Vesper admits that, and he's trying to be more hinged. Shinri likens Vesper's "half-hinged" state as a door that's stuck ajar because only one hinge is installed, and Vesper elaborates that the hinges are still being installed so the door doesn't open yet.
- Shinri talks about how some characters in fiction are so virtuous that other characters or people follow their lead without question, and he doesn't like that. Vesper discusses how much responsibility a role model has, and recalls that he's done some crazy things and is worried aobut his viewers copying him. Right as he goes into that, someone in chat jokes "Too late, I've already got five spears and am going through a hurricane to find a bar." For the sake of his viewers' safety, Vesper considers adding a Don't Try This at Home disclaimer, since "you don't want to be the guy that gets stabbed."
- Vesper inquires about Shinri's dislike of food with Non Indicative Names. Shinri admits that this started from vape juice, when he dealt with strange names like "The Lean Green Machine", "The Hulk", and "The Unicorn" where he could not figure out what to expect from the name alone. It's also extended to energy drinks and foods, and one egregious example was German Cake, where it's not first made in Germany — it originated from a Texan named Sam German. On top of that, a company named Baker's — named after the owner, doesn't hire bakers — acquired the recipe, leading to Baker's German Cake, which is neither German nor made by a baker. Shinri wishes that he could just "Check Properties" on anything just to analyze the ingredients of food before he purchases it.
- Vesper recounts a moment when he dropped his phone into the crack between his bed and the wall, but he has his "emotional support spear" that he used to fish his phone out. He only regrets that he used the sharp point of the spear so now his floor has a scratch.

A Way Out Collab

Altare and Magni collab on A Way Out, with Altare as Vincent and Magni as Leo.

Across the whole game, Magni has the misfortune of being saddled with a lot of Button Mashing prompts. He first psychs himself up with "I'm a master at Mario Party!" but he slowly gets more exasperated with each time he's prompted to mash.
Altare has been made aware of Vincent's nude scene as he enters prison at the start of the game, and censors it with a giant Noir overlay. Magni, on the other hand, makes suggestive comments at the view he gets.
They can't help but make fun of Leo's prominent nose, saying that Leo's voice has to be more nasal or even comparing him to Robbie Rotten.
As Vincent distracts the nurse while Leo steals the tool, Magni has to be extra hasty with the brief opportunities he's given. As Magni gets Leo to sprint down the halls to get back in his bed, Leo's last spurt can also be seen in the windows from Altare's POV. Chat quips "Magni Gear Solid" as this bit ends.
When the camera pans over a basketball court:
Altare: Are we going to play basketball? I can finally dunk on you.
Magni: I think they'd have to lower the rim a little bit.
Altare: Wait, wha...? Screw you, man!
Leo slamming Vincent against the fence gets called a "kabedon", then in the dramatic pause just after Vincent says that they have a common goal, Altare quips "Now kith."
As they think about how to get Leo to retrieve the chisel, they both get their brooms to clean and Altare entertains having a lightsaber duel with them. They discuss which character they would be, and Magni starts quoting Emperor Palpatine's tale of Darth Plagueis the Wise.
During the first breakout segment, both of them display a talent for a Not-So-Innocent Whistle while hiding their activities.
When Leo's wife pays him a visit, both Altare and Magni are surprised that he has a wife. Altare informs the audience "Magnation, it's over, [he's attached]" and the chat collectively grieves.
When Vincent calls his wife and they all discover she's pregnant, Altare considers naming his kid "Splarf." Magni suggests "Dezmond Jr." and Altare concedes to give that name if he gets a daughter.
As they make the final scramble to the tower, Magni Screams Like a Little Girl when he almost gets spotted several times. Altare considers a compilation of Magni screaming and expresses his desire to see Magni play a horror game.
While sneaking around the prison outskirts in Part 3, they have a lot of trouble coordinating their takedowns and keep losing for it. Altare tries to count up once, but accidentally counts down, doubles back, and starts counting properly, causing Magni to move ahead of time.
As Altare has Vincent holding his hand out to catch Magni, he withdraws it at the last moment just to see Magni's reaction. Magni gets his revenge later on by forcing Altare to beg and bark before he saves Vincent from the waterfall.
When they stop by a farm, they chance upon some cows, which Altare calls his mortal enemy — "The Milk Producer". Magni goes on to call milk "the forbidden juice", since they're both lactose intolerant, and his strange choice of words leaves Altare giggling.
Part 4 starts with Vincent and Leo escaping via boat, though they take this moment to swap to Magni's stream. When the feed is live, they have already started down the rapids... but the boat is half-busted, and they proceed with misplaced hope that it will hold out.
Also in the intro to Part 4, Altare does a pretty good job at imitating Magni's intros, switching from his normally soothing voice to ham it up.
After Vincent and Leo play some basketball with Alex, both boys make fun of how inept Alex is. Magni says "You sure his name is Alex and not Altare?" to which Altare freezes for a good several seconds before telling Magni "You have two seconds to live."
When they get into the construction site, with the guard complaining about the [safety inspectors] "coming and coming and coming", Altare is a little flustered over how the word "coming" is emphasized, while Magni rolls with the joke. Altare lampshades that the moment will be clipped and outlines with accuracy what the clip is going to be like. Meanwhile, Magni says that such a blatant joke won't reel in the views, which chat immediately responds with a stream of "COPIUM".
Later on, in the construction site, Magni holds off on hoisting Altare to a platform to advance the game, again asking Altare to beg and bark. Altare retaliates by reciting the script to Bee Movie and Magni relents.
When they both finally corner Ray after a long chase scene, Magni casually suggests to "piss on him" as an "act of dominance", prompting Altare and the audience to Double Take. Altare tells Magni that if this sentence gets clipped he brought it on himself. The same goes for "I'm bustin'!" as they bust down a door a few scenes prior.
They decide to let Leo handle the petrol station robbery, to which Magni lets out his Large Ham to intimidate the civilians. When Vincent gets ambushed by staff and is struggling to free himself, Magni comes in to help... and accidentally shoots Vincent instead of the staff.
In part 5, as Vincent is evasive about his wife being in labor, Altare ad-libs his lines to make Vincent more straightforward, but also throws in "I don't think that kid's mine." to which Magni can only give an amused "Damn..."
When the gunman ambushes the duo at the theatre, Altare spontaneously yells "It's Axel! Run!", going off Axel's Hitman stream several days earlier. When Magni lampshades how much ammo the gunman has, Altare justifies it with him being from a Call of Duty game.
After both Vincent and Leo kill the gunman, both Altare and Magni agree to make sure he's dead, not caring that they're implying to coldly kill Axel.
After Vincent reunites with his wife and sees his newborn daughter, Leo leaves to give Vincent some privacy. Vincent's emotional moment is juxtaposed with Leo losing his temper over a malfunctioning vending machine, and then the two players talking about their favorite soft drink.
They pass time with Connect Four and Grenade Brothers, and enjoy a good bout of friendly banter both in-universe and out.
After reading a chat message that says "I'm starting to think TEMPUS isn't a hero guild", Altare looks over his colleagues and realizes that everyone in TEMPUS does make a reasonable villain team, with the only necessary change being switching Altare to Demon Lord.
When Leo suggests that Vincent write a letter to his wife to apologize, Altare imagines the apology letter being poorly written in crayon, much like Tegami Bachi: Letter Bee. This comparison comes back when Vincent's letter appears in the ending.
During the escape from Harvey's hideout, Magni has to devote all his attention to driving so that he doesn't crash or get shot. Altare deliberately starts chatting about what he had for breakfast to try and throw off Magni's focus.
During The Reveal, both boys are outright bewildered and play into the characters they're controlling, Magni especially Chewing the Scenery with Leo's rage. Altare initially tries bargaining with Magni, and when Magni refuses to have any of it, he embraces his inner "Demon Lord", lets out an Evil Laugh and gloats over how he's fooled Magni the whole time. He then flips between Evil Gloating and voluntary begging as they progress to the ending.
The emotional ending is offset by Magni first suggesting that they could've settled it through a game of Grenade Brothers or Connect Four, and neither taking the slow-motion brawl seriously. The ending shot is punctuated by Altare delivering a corny Title Drop, and then they begin ad-libbing lines to make the ending even more silly.
Altare: ...I just want to say, we had a really fun time today. It's been a blast finding a way out. But you certainly did find a way into my heart—!
Magni: A way out! He said it!
Altare: *wheezing dramatically* Delete my... search history...
Magni: Yeah, try to find a way out of hell, you bastard! *spits on him*
Altare: *still wheezing dramatically* Take care of my wife... And kid...
Magni: Oh, they're next, what're you talkin' about?
Altare goofs around with the final command to hand Leo the letter, making Vincent wave his hand up and down while beatboxing. His last words are intentionally interrupted by him leaning aside as if he's also died, and Magni cracks up as a chat member quips "Dies of cringe".

D&D 5th Edition - The Sunless Citadel

The D&D 5e collab

(abridged version here

) is filled with moments:

Axel's character is Catxel XIII, but he mistypes it as Catxel XII. The other boys joke on his typo for the first moments of the stream.
Magni's Warforged, Curiobot, gets to demonstrate its Hyperspace Arsenal, to which Altare's character, Altor, nervously comments "I don't think this guy's human..." and Catxel retorts "You just noticed?"
Before they proceed into the dungeon proper, Vesper pulls out the line "You must gather your party before venturing forth."
Right off the bat, Altor takes a step into the dungeon before Catxel can survey the surroundings... and falls straight down a trapdoor, setting up the first encounter of the session. Curiobot and Catxel plan to hold the trapdoor open and hoist Altor out, to which Altor wonders how they can carry "450 pounds of pure muscle!"
The encounter music is Magni's intro track, and the chat collectively starts rocking out and magging out.
To leave behind markings to keep them from getting lost, Altor jumps and slams into the ground with his shell, leaving an imprint in the floor. He then carves a signature right next to it.
Catxel: Altor, you don't hold back, do you?
Altor: I'm a big boy, what do you say?
Catxel: I wouldn't want to be your girlfriend, that's for sure!
When the party is confronted with a giant locked dragon-themed stone door, Altor expresses familiarity with the dragon. Its last name is Deez. Catxel delivers the punchline before he gets to it, and Altor scolds him for his immaturity.
They notice that the door has a keyhole, to which Altor tells Catxel "That hole was made for you." Catxel retorts "You want me to try to open it up with my little Catxel?"
Since the door is enchanted such that Catxel cannot pick it, Altor and Curiobot are gung-ho on trying to break the door down, while Catxel desperately tries convincing them to go search for the key. Vesper sics a rat ambush on them as they struggle to ram it open, and after the encounter has resolved they still end up going to search the key!
During Magni's turn to attack a rat, he decides to narrate a 3-minute long description of what the attack sequence looks like, including the rat's squeals of fear, leaving everyone gasping for air. The fact that he ends up rolling very high makes everyone wonder why Magni's claiming there's even a body left. He also goes through an elaborate narration each time he fires his Eldritch Blast, which is pretty often!
Axel: (When Magni describes that Axel hasn't seen anything like this) Only in Gundam yo!
The party encounters a whimpering kobold huddled in a corner of a room, cloaked by a blanket. Curiobot tries to toss a spear to kill it as a pre-emptive strike, but given its atrocious 4 Strength, Altor elects to do it. The kobold is killed instantly, and Altor justifies this action as a quick release from its suffering... only for Curiobot to then walk up to the corpse and gouge it for its bodily fluids, drinking them for temporary HP, and freaking out Catxel in the process.
As Curiobot unleashes a hexed Eldritch Blast against a kobold in a separate encounter, Magni gives grisly descriptions to the destruction Curiobot wreaks, and Vesper compares it to Ramiel of Neon Genesis Evangelion.
Magni gets Curiobot to rip a door off its hinge. Vesper and Altare note that he's got a paltry 4 Strength, and Magni justifies it with "using both hands." Altor takes the opportunity at the next door to show up Curiobot.
Vesper misspeaks that he'd do a 7-hour stream, before correcting himself and promising to finish within 3. Fubuki, who's been spectating and doing Tweets to translate for the Japanese audiences, is super keen on a marathon session though!
Curiobot blasts open a rotten door on the other side of a 10-foot pitfall, revealing more giant rats, with one being bigger and stronger than the other rats they've fought so far. Magni takes comfort that they are separated from the rats by the pitfall. Vesper forcibly and creatively initiates the final encounter of the first session.
Curiobot: Do not worry, they cannot traverse this trap.
Vesper: In a Single Bound, they leap across!
Vesper gets the boys to roll a Constitution Saving Throw, and Axel mispronounces it "Constipation Saving Throw".
After Curiobot annihilates the largest rat in one hit (earning the Carry-o-bot nickname in the process), Vesper gets the other lesser rats to gang up on Curiobot... and then flubs their attack rolls, and malds in frustration.

The second session was not streamed live, but Vesper has helpfully split it up into twenty-minute segments on his channel. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9.

Picking up from where they last left off, they find a human corpse in the giant rat nest. They consider collecting the body and bringing it back to give it a proper burial, but when they realize that the ring on the corpse is a normal ring (rather than a signet ring that would identify it as one of the missing people they were sent to recover), Altor takes the corpse's skull and bicycle-kicks it into the pit.
The party backtracks to a door they didn't get to open, and the Draconic inscription reads "Rebuke the dead, open the way." Altare Googles the definition of "rebuke", and Axel simplifies it as "fuck the dead, yo!"
When they discover a corridor littered with caltrops, Altor offers to go upside-down as a platform for the other party members to safely cross, like with curling. He goes ahead with that, very slowly spinning across the corridor floor.
When Catxel tries to use Curiobot as footing to cross the corridor, Vesper confirms his weight to be about 30 kilograms, which is incredibly light for one who's supposed to be 6 feet tall. Vesper calls him "Slenderman", while Axel says he's "compact".
After Catxel one-shots one of the goblin archers harassing the party, the second archer flees in terror. Curiobot eventually catches up and hears the goblin's panicked report to its allies, and Vesper's goblin speech includes cries of "Rakanishu!"
Curiobot gets struck by a potshot from the goblin archers, and he takes a moment to ponder his options before settling on Eldritch Blast, annihilating the archer in retaliation.
Altor catches up to the final goblin archer and attempts to stare him down. With a Critical Failure in his Intimidation roll, Altare immediately adds uwu-speech to his failed threat. Altare himself feels like he's Kazuma of KonoSuba where everyone is crazy-competent in comparison.
The party comes across the goblins' captives — three kobolds and a gnome cleric. They coerce Erky Timbers, the gnome cleric who's a Nervous Wreck from his captivity, to come along with them as a spare source of healing, and then Curiobot mentally breaks the kobolds by killing one and then frightening the other two into servitude.
Axel: In what RPG story does the main party just get three companions out of the blue by threatening them?
Vesper: You gain an achievement: "Are we the baddies?"
Altare gets irritated that he gets the good rolls against bashing down doors instead of in combat.
Right before the next skirmish, Curiobot commands one of the kobolds under his command to investigate a door, only for it to fall into a pitfall, complete with comedic sound effect. Vesper denies Curiobot command of the second kobold as it runs off to rescue its brother, and as it reaches into the pitfall Axel contemplates shoving it in.
After a series of bad rolls lead to a cavalcade of failed attacks, a demoralized Catxel is ready to throw in the towel and retire.
Post-combat, they find that the fallen kobold has broken his leg in the 15-foot pitfall. Altor drags away the other kobold and knocks out the panicking Erky (again), while Magni extorts more information out of the injured kobold before deciding to Mercy Kill it. Bear in mind that the party does have more than enough rope to get it out of the pit but have decided there is no way to save it.
Curiobot goes back to the kobold and gaslights it into thinking that they freed it, and the goblins are the cause of its misfortune. The gaslighting succeeds and the kobold's desire for revenge whips it into a frenzy as it shanks the goblin corpses. Curiobot encourages the kobold to indulge its rage and marks its head with goblin blood like war paint.
The party encounters a wyrmling, which kills the kobold and downs Curiobot and Catxel in a single ice breath. A desperate Altor cuts Erky free and promises that, in exchange for stabilizing the party members, he won't knock him unconscious anymore.
Erky brings the party back to their feet, and tries to flee for his safety with Altor's permission. However, Curiobot catches him and drags him back to the room, and even attempts to use him as a meat-shield.
Curiobot: This is what brotherhood means, Erky.
After the wyrmling is slain, Catxel tries to offer his sincere thanks to Erky, but due to Curiobot's mistreatment of him, he nervously backs into a corner and the party ends up cornering him. After Altor and Catxel release him as thanks, Curiobot trips Erky on the way out, falling into the pit with a Wilhelm Scream and breaking his leg at the bottom. Catxel begs the party to at least heal Erky with their healing potion, and when Curiobot offers to heal Erky himself, he drinks the healing potion at the last moment.
When they look into the scrolls, one of them is written in a language that none of them know. Vesper tells them of an Identify spell that can translate, and Catxel decides to go back to Erky to see if he knows the spell. Curiobot, who is adamant on not going back to Erky, tries and fails to Eldritch Blast Erky himself. Catxel does his best to pass off their cruelty as a massive misunderstanding. Vesper is so amused at how far Catxel is going to re-earn Erky's trust that he offers a point of Inspiration if Catxel succeeds the persuasion roll.
When the party is confronted with a large room guarded by a couple goblins, Curiobot decides to start with a preemptive strike, and as he one-shots the unaware goblin, the boys joke about what the goblin might have been doing before getting Killed Mid-Sentence.
Combat starts, but while rolling for initiatives, Vesper warns the party "do not be alarmed, I'm going to roll a lot." The boys get increasingly worried with each initiative roll he does, and the queue fills with nine goblins, all lined up ahead of them.
The goblins take repeated potshots at the party by popping in and out of cover thanks to the pillars along the corridor. Although the party makes good progress thinning out the numbers, Curiobot starts taking damage as the arrows find their mark. Catxel is cheering for Curiobot to survive... so that he can live with the emotional weight of the cruelties he's done.
At the end of the extended skirmish, the gravely injured Altor and Curiobot roll to stabilize, with Catxel's token attempts to help. Altor stabilizes, but Curiobot is not so lucky. Axel desperately convinces himself he's "a doctor and gladiator" as Curiobot fails two death saves. The moment is tense... and the injured Erky hobbles in to instantly stabilize Curiobot.
Curiobot: Perhaps I was too harsh on you...
The party decides to take a long rest to fully recover, and Vesper gets them all to roll, asking to get anything but a 1. Altare immediately rolls a 1, and their rest is interrupted.
Erky eventually breaks under stress and incessantly casts Sacred Fire on Curiobot until the party ties and gags him. Altor decides to just keep him along as a decoy or meatshield, much to Catxel's exasperation.
The party is eventually forced to abandon the quest, ditching Erky in the process. Curiobot almost gets lost and nearly becomes another casualty of the quest. With nothing to show except for the experience they earned from learning the kinds of consequences of their actions, the party decides to just skip out of town and look elsewhere for their next adventure.

Ultimate Chicken Horse Collab

Shinri spends the entire two-hour collab laughing extremely hard at the expense of the other three dying from karma or from random obstacles, at one point begging for Bettel to stop cracking him up.
- When Bettel finally wins a round, Shinri makes a comment that they made the obstacle course too easy since the former was able to get to the goal.
Chat gets caught off-guard by Shinri's PNG.^note
On the very first level they play, the rooftop level, Bettel begins bragging to everyone to "watch and learn" as he attempts to traverse the course they had just set up. Bettel just misses the platform and plunges to his peril. Shinri and Flayon mock him while Bettel cuts to his intermission screen.
Bettel: Watch and learn, boys! (Bettel plunges to his death)
Flayon: I'm watching and learning! YOU SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!
(Bettel cuts to his intermission screen)
Shinri: (in between laughter) Okay, watch and learn what now?
Also on the rooftops, Bettel puts down a rotating buzzsaw near an automatic door, then claims he's going to "screw himself over with his own buzzsaw". Bettel somehow makes it out alive, while Hakka and Flayon hit their head on the buzzsaw's pivoting mechanism as they are jumping and fall to their deaths.
- Shortly after their deaths, Bettel proclaims victory... and immediately dies to a set of retractable spikes.
- Bettel himself would later die by hitting his head on the same pivot mechanism and plunging to his death a few rounds later.
Bettel walks into the "wall of flame" (four flamethrowers arranged vertically) he made in the farm level and dies.
- He eventually does clear the wall of flame in a later round and gets close to reaching the goal but gets clobbered by a flower and dies.
In a reprise of the farm level, Bettel puts down a wrecking ball which swings right in front of the cannon he had put at the beginning of the match. Flayon enters the cannon and gets shot into the path of the wrecking ball, killing him, while Hakka gets killed by the wrecking ball as it is swinging upwards. Bettel himself would then enter the cannon and get killed by the wrecking ball as he is fired out; Shinri, the last man alive, is not spared either, as he dies by mistiming a jump and jumping straight into the wrecking ball.
Hakka and Shinri have a conversation about exorcists, to which Flayon doesn't understand what is going on. Shinri quips to Flayon that he will learn "when he's older"; Flayon angrily tells Shinri that he's older than him.
- At the same time, the round starts. Bettel grabs a jet pack he had placed down earlier and hops into a cannon... only to instantly die when he's fired out of it as he smashes right into a wrecking ball.
Also in the farm level's reprise, Bettel attempts to kill the other animals by activating a boxing glove he had put down. He gets killed by the wrecking ball he had put down earlier in the match shortly after, chalking up his death to a game glitch causing him to spawn in dead. Flayon proceeds to mock him by dancing on top of his corpse and singing a parody of Top of the World:
On top of the world
You're with me, not alone
You're dead on the floor
Bettel, oh, you're not winning
Couldn't get up and dance, you've got no skill here
Oh blub blub
- In response to Flayon’s song, Bettel angrily challenges Flayon to complete the course. Flayon mistimes a jump and jumps straight into the wrecking ball, killing him instantly, all while Hakka chimes in with a verse of Always Tied. Shinri begins laughing and asking his chat for help.
  Bettel: ALRIGHT, LET'S SEE YOU DO IT THEN! LET'S SEE YOU DO IT!
  Flayon: (jumps into wrecking ball and dies) AHHHHHHHH!
Hakka tries Shinri's double cannon contraption. The contraption works as intended until Hakka gets hit by a wrecking ball as he is launched out of the first cannon and dies, then gets struck by a flying hockey puck as he is launched out the second. Hakka is in disbelief and begins wondering how he died; this leads to Bettel and Flayon branding his contraption a "death trap".
- Bettel and Flayon would later try this contraption, and they survive! Bettel would die shortly after by being sucked into a stray black hole, while Flayon mocks a now-dead Hakka and Bettel.
  Flayon: We're better than you! You're both dead!
Shinri makes a rare mistake in the farm level's reprise. He tells the others that he would rush in first and "show them how it's done"; shortly after, he jumps into the fan blades of a moving platform and dies. Flayon and Hakka mock him afterwards; Shinri takes it in stride and begins corpsing.
- Hakka, Bettel and Flayon would die shortly after Shinri, with him later declaring that they may have made the level a bit too difficult.
Shinri adds a jet pack to the double cannon contraption he made. Flayon blows it and other traps up seconds later using a nuke.
In the same round, Bettel puts down a black hole near the spawn point of the animals. Shinri and Hakka warn him not to jump lest he gets sucked into it; Bettel is wary about this comment, thinking that Shinri is trying to trick him. Shinri plays along and attempts to use reverse psychology on him to get him to jump. Flayon mistimes a jump, hits his head on a moving platform and gets sucked into the black hole; after seeing Flayon’s death, Bettel declares he is not falling for Shinri's trick. He jumps anyway and predictably gets sucked into the black hole and dies. Flayon mocks him afterwards.
In the mansion level, Bettel and Shinri block the elevator's path by putting two staircases together. Hakka is not pleased.
Hakka: Now wait... no! Why did you block the elev- (devolves into angrish)
Everyone else: (bursts out laughing)
Hakka: I love the elevator! Why did you do that?!
- When they discover the elevator still works regardless of any obstacles blocking its path, Bettel attempts to ride it upwards... and gets crushed by the staircase that he had put down earlier. After fits of laughter, Flayon and Shinri mock him by dancing over his dead body... until they realize that getting up to the goal is no easy feat due to all of their traps.
  - When both Shinri and Flayon get up to a platform, they fire out of a cannon onto the goal. Shinri triggers the goal by just a hair while Flayon misses it entirely; both do however die by thorns after getting launched out of the cannon. Everyone is left wondering if that counted as a win for Shinri, and when they find out that it indeed counted, everyone, including Shinri, is in disbelief. Bettel is particularly aggravated.
    Bettel: I SAW YOU DIE!
Also in the mansion level, Bettel puts down a jet pack to allow him to jet to victory. Once the round begins, Bettel immediately rushes towards the jet pack, taunts his rivals, prepares for takeoff and immediately runs into thorns and dies, causing his jet pack to malfunction and jet him out of the map. The others, particularly Shinri, begin corpsing in laughter.
Bettel: See you later, boys- (walks into thorns and dies)
- After Bettel's death, Hakka attempts to complete the course. He nearly succeeds... until he's fired out of the cannon straight into a black hole and dies as he screams in anguish. Flayon and Shinri die shortly after by thorns.
Also in the mansion level, Bettel claims his controller is unplugged in an attempt to make Flayon go first. The others roll with it, telling Bettel to use his keyboard. Bettel eventually starts moving after Flayon voices his displeasure... and then dies to a flying hockey puck shortly after.
Flayon suggests to Shinri to create a voice pack to sell his laugh. Shinri is bemused, with Flayon remarking he wants his laugh to sound as nice as his. Hakka agrees.
Also in the mansion level, Hakka tells everyone that if they let him cook, he can come up with a strategy to beat the obstacle course. Just as he finishes that sentence, he runs into thorns and immediately dies. Flayon proceeds to mock him afterwards.
Hakka: Oh, you know what? You know what? If you let me cook for a second I have a strategy that might work- (walks into thorns and dies)
Shinri: (bursts out laughing)
Hakka: Never mind.
Flayon: Did that strategy work for you?
- Prior to that round, a nuke placed down by Bettel destroyed the two staircases he and Shinri had put down to block the elevator. Hakka failed to realize this until after he died to the thorns and seeing Bettel and Shinri ride the elevator upwards to victory. He is a bit miffed to say the least while Flayon celebrates.
  Hakka: What the heck?! You guys unlocked the elevator and you didn't tell me?!
  Flayon: YEAHHHHHHHH! YEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! YEAH! YEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
  Hakka: I told you guys the elevator was my favorite mechanic! We gotta be gentlemen! We gotta wait for the elevator, you know?
- Bettel also got to the goal, but did not go far enough forward to trigger it, leaving him standing on the goal platform doing nothing and wonders as to why the round hasn't ended. Shinri tells him he hasn't touched the goal yet, to which Bettel responds with a singular "oh". The others begin cracking up.
Bettel places down a boxing glove in an attempt to spawnkill his opponents. The glove is slightly too short to hit any of the players.
Bettel: I thought this would go further.
Shinri: That's what she- (bursts into laughter)
- Hakka subsequently flubs a jump and hits the boxing glove as it is extended, killing him.
Shinri spawnkills Bettel by activating his boxing glove, much to the latter's consternation.
In the final round of the mansion level, Shinri, Flayon and Hakka all die in quick succession to various traps; Shinri dies to the barbed wire he placed in the elevator by flubbing a jump, Flayon getting incinerated by a flamethrower and Hakka dies to a spiked ball he placed.
- The deaths of his opponents make it so he can complete the stage at his own pace; naturally, he gets quite cocky about this. While trying to attempt the gutsy moves Hakka attempted a few rounds ago, he hits his head on the fire hydrant Flayon placed earlier on in the game, walks into Shinri's barbed wire and dies. He is quite miffed by this.
  Bettel: Ladies and gentlemen, you have been bested by... the Ga-
  (touches the barbed wire and dies)
  Bettel: DUDE, HOW COULD YOU GET IN THAT THING?! WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET ON TOP OF IT! WHO PUT THE FIRE HYDRANT THE- FLAYON!
The broken glass window in the mansion level has claimed the lives of the animals on multiple occasions. Shinri in particular has died to the glass window multiple times, mistaking it for part of the map background.
Shinri has this to say about Hakka, to which the latter agrees:
Shinri: Hakka has one braincell but he puts a mirror inside his head so it looks like there's two.
In the waterfall level, Flayon sabotages everyone by blocking the entrance with a large hay bale and making the only option falling to their deaths. Bettel gets really dramatic over it:
Bettel: (after watching Hakka die) Who did this? Was it you? WAS IT YOU?!
Shinri: (laughing) I don't think we can- I don't think we can beat this now. We can't go through this.
Flayon: (laughing as Shinri also falls) What?
Bettel: Are you happy?! Your brothers are dead! They just killed themselves before your eyes, ON YOUR STUPID LITTLE TRICK!
Flayon and Shinri: (start cracking up again)
Bettel: But not me! I will over- overcome your little obstacle!
Flayon: Uh-huh, go ahead! Go ahead!
Bettel: (falls to his death) AHHHHHHH!
Flayon and Shinri: (completely lose it)
Bettel puts down a jet pack in the waterfall level. After Hakka and Shinri die in that level, Bettel somehow manages to clear the initial traps and grabs the jet pack and immediately jets to the goal. Instead of simply going to the goal however, Bettel flies around the level with the jet pack while taunting Flayon.
- Flayon subsequently dies and Bettel flies to the goal to clear the round.
Bettel places down a ferris wheel contraption in the waterfall level. He, Hakka and Flayon all get crushed between the contraption and a staircase in quick succession. Shinri survives, grabs a jet pack and jets to victory.
- In the very next round, Shinri is the first to die, getting crushed between the ferris wheel contraption and the hay bale Flayon put down earlier in the level.
In the waterfall level, Hakka and Shinri are competing for the jet pack Bettel put down earlier. Both rush towards the jet pack, with Shinri snatching the jet pack from Hakka while the latter falls to their death. Hakka is unamused while Shinri bursts out laughing.
Hakka: Shinri stole that jet pack right in my face!
Shinri: I may have timed a jump just for that. (bursts out laughing)
Bettel places down a wrecking ball near his ferris wheel contraption. When the round begins, Bettel acts like a theme park operator, advertising his "Spinning Thing of Doom" and "Swinging Thing of Doom". Shinri and Hakka both get crushed by the ferris wheel contraption, while Flayon, after saying he would go if it makes Bettel "feel better about himself", mistimes his jump, hits the wrecking ball and dies.
Flayon: I'll go if it makes you feel better about yourself. (hits the wrecking ball and dies) Fuck!
- After the others have died, Bettel gloats to them that he can traverse the park with no issues. He does quite well in this aspect; he gets quite close to the goal but hits a fireball and dies.
  Bettel: (after Flayon dies) Now that sure made me feel better. Now watch and learn as I, the creator of this theme park of death, traverse it in complete and total... (unintelligible)
  Flayon: Die. Fall right now fall right now fall right now fall right now...
  Hakka: WHAT?!
  (Bettel hits a fireball and dies)
  Bettel: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
  Flayon: YESSSSSS! DESERVED!
In the final round of the waterfall level, Shinri successfully navigates the course by "YOLOing" it. Hakka and Flayon get crushed by the ferris wheel contraption, leaving Bettel as the last one left; he nearly succeeds, but near the goal, turns the wrong way and kills himself by touching barbed wire. The points scored from this round are more than enough for Shinri to win convincingly against the others.
The gang plays the farm level a third time. After setting up the course with some obstacles, Bettel puts down a boxing glove. As they navigate the course, Hakka jumps to activate a time slowing effect; in the process, Hakka unknowingly kills Bettel with the boxing glove he had put down earlier.
Flayon gets hit by an AFK warning. He realizes too late and gets kicked as a result.
The gang later returns to the rooftop level. Flayon places a beehive down and requests Bettel to say "Unleash the bees!" in his own way; he obliges. The quote stuck, with all instances of activating a beehive after this accompanied by Bettel or the one who triggered the bees saying the line.
Hakka activates a beehive, killing Flayon, Bettel and himself.
Flayon uses a bomb to blow up some traps to make completing the course easier for himself. He attempts to blow up both the wrecking ball and a rotating platform; the bomb does go off, but nothing is destroyed as neither of the items he planned to blow up are within its radius.^note Flayon is outraged to say the least.
The gang returns to the waterfall level yet again. Shinri and Flayon make a pseudo-platform with flowers to allow them to climb up to the top. Shinri quips that this level is doable; he falls to his death shortly after as he flubs a jump. Bettel attempts to complete the stage but is clobbered by a flower and sent flying.
- Hakka would subsequently complete this stage successfully. Bettel tries again, instructing Flayon to follow his lead; he ends up getting clobbered by the same flower the second round in a row.
Hakka gets struck by a flying hockey puck from afar as he was beginning his attempt to reach the goal.
Flayon puts down a paper airplane launcher near the animals's spawn points. Hakka subsequently begins his attempt to reach the goal; while standing on the paper airplane launcher to get his bearings straight he gets struck by the same hockey puck that killed him the last round.
- Bettel follows Hakka's path but manages to not get killed. He drops down to a lower level in an attempt to get a jet pack he had placed down earlier; Flayon follows suit and activates the boxing glove above Bettel, killing him.
  Bettel: You are such a little bastard.
Out of spite, Bettel blows up Shinri's boxing glove with a bomb, making obtaining the jet pack and reaching the goal significantly easier. Bettel, Hakka and Shinri make it to the goal; Flayon does not as he gets killed by the same hockey puck which killed Hakka the previous two rounds while waiting for the jet pack. The three survivors are disgusted, with Shinri hoping that the game would mark the level as "too easy".^noteIf a level is considered "too easy" (i.e. players can clear it without much fear of dying), no points are awarded for that round
- Out of further spite, Shinri and Hakka make sure that the jet pack is not as easily obtained, with Hakka placing down barbed wire and Shinri a large fan; Bettel adds a flamethrower at the bottom for good measure. Bettel's first instincts are to get the jet pack as usual; this time, his attempt ends in failure as he is blown by the large fan into the barbed wire and dies.
All four are struck by flying hockey pucks in quick succession.
Shinri: Oh, it's just a bloodbath at this point...
Flayon sabotages the group again by putting a flamethrower on the paper airplane launcher, making it impossible for any of the animals to cross;^noteAnimals are two blocks high in this game; the flamethrower made it so that that space became one block high to make matters worse there were no alternative paths. Shinri and Flayon have this exchange:
Shinri: Machi, no!
Flayon: Machi, yes!
- The guys suggest to Shinri to use the crossbow Flayon placed down in an earlier round as a platform. Shinri attempts to do so and dies upon touching the crossbow.
After getting rid of Flayon’s flamethrower, the four attempt to traverse the stage properly. All four die shortly after spawning; Shinri and Bettel stall for too long at the paper airplane launcher, with both getting struck at once by the flying hockey puck, Hakka gets incinerated by a flamethrower and Flayon flubs a jump and lands on barbed wire.
To make their lives easier, Shinri blows up the barbed wire with a stick of dynamite; Flayon wanted Shinri to blow up the hockey machine, but since he had already placed down the dynamite, Flayon resorts to blocking the hockey machine with a paper airplane launcher instead. It works.
- Shinri decides to YOLO the level and succeeds, grabbing the jet pack and flying to the goal, while Hakka, Bettel and Flayon die to the various traps in quick succession. After seeing his opponents die, Shinri taunts the others by jetting around in a similar fashion to Bettel, before touching the goal; this victory is enough for him to win the game.
The gang returns to the farm a final time. Shinri is about to drop down into the goal... but mistimes his approach and gets killed by a wrecking ball Flayon put down at the start of the match. He expresses disappointment at the fact that he was not awarded a postmortem bonus.
Hakka drops down to the goal in a similar fashion to Shinri; he too mistimes his approach and gets killed by Flayon’s wrecking ball. Hakka's corpse flies into the air and onto the goal, where he mysteriously revives and starts dancing. The other members are in disbelief. His attempt however counts as a postmortem as opposed to a standard goal.
Hakka: OH NO! (lands on the goal and is revived) Oh yeah!
Shinri: Wait! No! We saw that- everyone saw that! How did you survive?!
The next two rounds are chaos, with each of the members continuously dying to the traps they had put down; most of these deaths involve getting smashed into wrecking balls.
Hakka calls Flayon "Little Red Man".
After the gang cleared out unwanted traps, Hakka attempts to complete the new course. He slows down time with a time-slowing power up but gets crushed between a moving platform and the grain silo; after he dies, his corpse moves just enough to trigger the goal, mysteriously reviving him again and granting him a postmortem bonus. The rest of the members are outraged.
Hakka: Yes!
Bettel: That's not fucking fair! That is NOT fair!
Flayon: HOW DID YOU DIE?!
Shinri: That's chea- that is cheating! How does that work?! No! What?!
Bettel manages to sneak in a legitimate victory in the farm level, forcing Flayon to be subject to the punishment agreed upon earlier by the gang. The punishment? Make the sound of their favorite animal.

Golf with Your Friends Collab

Bettel messes up before the stream even starts!
Bettel: (in between fits of laughter) Oh shit... I just- oh, for fuck's sake... oh God, son of a... I just... we just- we just spent like two minutes making a lobby, and I just closed out of it again.
Altare's handle is partially censored throughout the entire game.^noteShown as "Al***" He rolls with it.
Altare: Oh. Hi. (turns on reverb, proceeds to make random noises) Helloooooooo. It's Al.
Dez gets a hole-in-one on his first attempt of the first hole and gloats. Naturally, Bettel gets salty about it.
Dez: OH MY GOD! GET FUCKED! HOLE-IN-ONE!
Bettel: Oh, you got a ho- NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Don't start with this shit already!
Dez attempts to hole in one the second hole and asks his collab-mates "for intel". Altare tells him to use full strength; Flayon attempts to give actual advice to Dez but gets shut up by Altare, with Bettel also telling Flayon to keep quiet as Dez "has won every collab so far". Dez takes Altare's "advice" and his ball flies out of bounds.
Hakka unintentionally says something questionable while on the 14th hole of Oasis. He begins laughing uncharacteristically hard afterwards.
Hakka: Open up! I'm coming!
Dez attempts to blow his ball into the hole in hole 17 of Oasis. He fails.
- Bettel does the same... and succeeds!
Bettel hits a ledge in hole 18 of Oasis and gets knocked out of bounds; as he does so, he makes a cry of anguish. Hakka, Altare and Flayon immediately question it, with Flayon later imitating it.
Flayon: What was that, Sims cry?
Bettel hits a hole in one in the first hole of the Ancient level. Altare's game glitches at that exact moment, putting him in Oasis as opposed to Ancient. Bettel is flustered as they need to restart the game to get Altare back in their lobby.
Bettel: Dude, you can't be- you- don't do this to me. I just got a hole in one.
The gang begins a round in Candyland. Bettel proclaims it is "his home turf" and that he is about to win the round. As usual, he tells the gang to watch and learn... and immediately hits his ball on a broken chocolate wafer bridge and flies out of bounds.
- Bettel ends up being the last to finish, finishing 7 strokes over par.
Dez gets a good shot on hole 2 and nearly gets it into the hole with that shot... but the ball has other ideas and rolls away from the hole due to momentum. Dez lets out a singular monotonous "what".
Dez asks the gang what their favorite candy is. Bettel replies with Milk Duds. Dez is perplexed.
Dez: What in the actual frick is wrong with you, bro?
Altare: Milk Duds?
Dez: There's no way you are a Milk Dudder, bro. The worst thing you could-
Altare intentionally knocks Dez out of bounds on the third hole of Candyland.
Altare: Get outta here.
Dez: OH MY GOD ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! YOU S- YOU... OOOOOOOHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYYYY LAAAAWRDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!! YOU- REALLY?! REALLY?! THAT'S COMPLETE- you know what? I'll remember this.
- Dez continues malding about this. Altare counters his comments and both get into a minor argument.
  Dez: Altare... used a whole move just to boop me off the map. This...
  Altare: You bumped into me!
  Dez: No, I didn't!
  Altare: Yes, you did! You literally said that!
  Dez: That doesn't-
  Altare: You can't deny that! You can't deny it! It's the truth!
Continuing with the favorite candy debate, Dez states that his favorite candy is watermelon-flavored Sour Patch Kids. Altare says he dislikes them, which peeves Dez.
Dez: What?! There's no- chat, there's no way you don't go in on this guy for liking Tootsie Rolls, but not Sour Patch Watermelon! What kind of person is that?!
Bettel talks about chocolate-covered Rice Krispies Treats being a good treat. Dez does not take it well either.
Dez: Oh gosh, you sick fuck. What the fuck is wrong with you?
- Bettel decides to clap back at Dez for his comments and make fun of him while at it.
  Bettel: (imitating Dez) You sick fuck! Oh God, you sick fuck! What, you don't like chocolate?
  Dez: No, no, but-
  Bettel: Well yeah, I know, it loses the subtlety of a fuckin' Rice Krispie Treat.
Bettel voices his dislike for Hershey's Kisses, stating they taste like vomit. The rest of the gang is perplexed.
- Dez later mocks him for his tastes in candy.
  Dez: Dude. Bettel, the Candyland man, and he's turning down the essentials! He's like "no" to Hershey's chocolate?!
Bettel and Flayon attempt to imitate British accents.
Flayon and Hakka "sing" In the End by Linkin Park.
Hakka: I... I tried so hard.
Flayon: AND GOT SO F-
Flayon: IN THE END-
Hakka: It doesn't even matter.
Bettel traverses hole 16 of Candyland with few issues... until he encounters a gap. He falls into it twice. He clears the hole anyway.
Bettel: Are you fucking-
- Shinri and Dez have significantly more trouble clearing the map. Bettel decides to mock them.
  Shinri: Help, I'm a little ball and I've fallen and can't get up.
  Bettel: Heh, look at them struggle. Ha ha ha ha! Look at them struggle!
  Dez: Why did I change directions at the last second?! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! I WAS ON TRACK! WHY DID IT TURN ME AROUND?!
Altare makes some suggestive noises while missing his shots.
Altare: (groans)
Flayon: WHAT IS THAT?!
Altare: Don't make it weird!
The gang sees the challenge that awaits them in the final hole of Candyland... gumballs which knock players out of the way! Bettel is particularly perplexed.
Bettel: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! It's the candy- it's the- it's the candy stampede!
Bettel makes his first attempt at crossing the path with these gumballs. He claims he has done the math... before subsequently being knocked by two gumballs out of bounds.
Bettel intentionally knocks Dez out of bounds. Dez does not take kindly to this prank. Shinri and Hakka begin corpsing.
Bettel: BOOM!
Dez: Who the f- who the actual- who booped me?! WE'VE GOT BOOPIN' ASS FUCK IN HERE! WHO'S BOOPIN' ME?!
Hakka: (imitating Bettel) Meeeeeee!
Dez makes a dramaticized hillbilly-style laugh.
Bettel gets hit by the gumballs repeatedly. He nearly loses it.
Bettel: This game can fuckin'-
- Bettel ultimately runs out of strokes.
The gang decides to play Volcano. Bettel gets two hole-in-ones in the row and begins gloating.
Bettel: Volcano's my map!
Flayon: Your max luck is finally here!
Bettel attempts to figure out how to use the jet pack.
Bettel unintentionally uses the jet pack and flies out of the trough with the hole.
- When he gets back in, he activates the jet pack by accident again, flying significantly higher, Luckily for him he lands back in the trough.
Bettel collides into Hakka.
Bettel: Get out of the way. Get out of the way. I've got a game to win.
Bettel and Flayon realize that Shinri has a cheeseburger as a hat.
Bettel is on the fifth hole of Volcano. He approaches the hole... only for Hakka to unintentionally knock him out of the way.
Bettel: NO! HAKKAAAAAAAAA!
Bettel unintentionally hits Shinri out of the way as the latter is trying to putt his ball into the hole.
Shinri: Oh- wait. Bettel! C'mon, what was that?!
Bettel: Sorry. Just business.
Dez struggles to clear the hole. Flayon makes fun of him for it.
Flayon: It's okay, Rocky. You go when you feel like it- (bursts into laughter)
Flayon knocks Dez out of bounds on the 7th hole of volcano.
Dez: WHAT?! FLAYON! HOW COULD YOU?!
Altare: I'm so proud of you! I'm so proud of you!
Dez: HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!
Flayon: I was trying to give you a boost but I went too hard!
Dez is trying to get into the hole, hits the flag and begins malding.
Shinri glitches into the map. He resorts to using up his strokes quickly in an attempt to progress.
Shinri: Oh no...
Altare makes some suggestive noises while missing shots.
Hakka makes a comment while attempting to dodge a black hole.
Hakka: I'm getting sucked! HELP!
Shinri tries and fails to get a hole-in-one on the tenth hole, not before bragging to the others that this was an easy hole.
Shinri: Hole-in-one.
(misses shot)
Shinri: Never mind. [...] Hole in... three.
Bettel devolves to angrish as he struggles in hole 10. The gang compares his sounds to Scooby-Doo.
Dez stalls on hole 12, preventing Shinri and Bettel from making their shots. Dez eventually makes a move and intentionally knocks Bettel out of the map.
Bettel: (laughter) You're a dick!
Bettel hits the black hole and gets spat out of bounds.
Bettel: HUH?! What's the point of the black hole?!
- Shortly after respawning, Shinri intentionally hits Bettel out of bounds.
  Bettel: (in between laughter) HEY! What the fuck?! Who the fuck did that?!
- Bettel attempts to get revenge. He hits Shinri but he barely moves and gets knocked out of bounds again. Shinri responds by knocking him out of bounds again.
  Bettel: (in between laughter) HEY!
Bettel and Shinri eventually get over. Bettel is trying to aim his shot at the hole, with Shinri near by. Guess what Shinri does next.
Bettel: (in between laughter) SHINRIIIIIIIIIIII!
Dez: That was just malicious right there...
Bettel complains about Shinri's recent antics. Shinri counters with his own perspective.
Bettel: Shinri made me lose the game. Because Altare fuckin' PayPal'd him $15 or something.
Altare: Listen, man...
Shinri: Dude, there's no chance for me to win, might as well have fun...
- Shortly after, Shinri knocks Hakka out of bounds as he approaches the hole.
  Hakka: WHAT THE FUUUUUCK?! WHO DID THAT?!
Altare attempts to sabotage Shinri's shot into the hole. He fails.
Dez shoots a low-powered shot unintentionally.
Dez: I-
Bettel's phone dies in the middle of hole 15, causing his Live2D avatar to become static.
Bettel: Oh no, dude! I'm a PNG! My phone died...
Altare misspeaks.
Altare: You do know that there's a totsu^noteCall-in stream for the people that lost, right?
Hakka: Batsu?^notePunishment
- He later corrects himself. Hakka wonders what the punishment is, with Altare saying he'll decide later.
  Hakka: What's the batsu? What's the batsu?
  Altare: I'll think of it. I haven't won yet, so...
  Bettel: Yes you have!
Bettel resigns to the facts regarding his luck stat in collabs. Flayon attempts to console him, with Bettel providing some additional perspective.
Bettel: I'm convinced I'm never gonna win a single collab.
Flayon: It's okay. You've won my heart.
Bettel: Wow, that was very nice.
Altare and Hakka: Aww.
Bettel: But effectively meaningless.
Flayon: YOU'RE FUCKIN' DEAD!
Altare decides on the punishment for the losers: act as a personalized alarm clock for him.
Shinri: Oh, you've already decided that you've won.
Bettel unintentionally hits Dez out of bounds.
Bettel: Oh sorry-
Dez: Who the actual-
Bettel: Dude, I didn't mean to! I was just- I was just- YOU SAID COLLISION!
Bettel misses the hole... and runs out of shots.
Bettel accidentally hits Hakka out of the hole.
Hakka: Ah. Fuck you, Bettel.
Altare, Flayon and Dez are near the hole. Flayon sabotages Altare and Dez's attempts by knocking Altare at the right time, who hits Dez as he is about to go into the hole.
- Flayon subsequently hits Dez again, sending him away from the hole.
  Dez: I'M GONNA KILL YOU! OH MY GOD YOU... YOU... YOU MACHINA X FUCK!
- Altare hits the flag.
  Altare: No no no no no no!
Bettel sees his score.
Bettel: Damn, I nearly won... if I just did a little bit better!
At the end of the game, Bettel backpedals his earlier comments about the course.
Bettel: This was just fucking suffering for me.
The gang decides on an all-or-nothing round in the Haunted level. Altare does not take this well.
Altare: Altare will remember this.
Bettel is doing quite well on the third hole. He nearly gets into the hole and malds.
Bettel: God!
- Bettel flubs a shot by putting too weakly.
  Bettel: GOD!
- Dez subsequently unintentionally hits him out of the way as he is readying a putt. Bettel is not entirely pleased.
  Bettel: GOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDD!
- Fueled by rage, Bettel attempts to knock Dez out of bounds. He fails, missing Dez entirely and knocking himself out of bounds.
Bettel is asked how he's feeling by Flayon. He replies in gibberish.
Altare talks about candy canes.
Altare: Ooh, candy canes are one of my favorite candies. I love those. You suck on it for so long until it becomes super r-
Flayon: (bursts out laughing)
Altare: SHUT UP!
Shinri misses his shot on the sixth hole. Flayon makes a comment.
Shinri: It could've been a par.
Altare: It could have been a par~ (in the style of Adele's Rolling in the Deep)
Flayon: Shinri getting distracted by course lore!
- Shinri rolls with it. Bettel makes his own comments.
  Altare: The butler's got a brain on the- on the-
  Shinri: I have to know! I have to know. I bet you the twist is that it's actually the butler's own brain, and that's why he's trapped here making this like circle over and over again.
  Bettel: I love Shinri deep-analyzing a major golf course.
Bettel hits his ball on the half ramp and gets rebounded back to the start.
Bettel: WHAAAAT?!
Hakka makes strange noises while attempting to get in the hole.
Dez resigns to his fate.
Dez: It's over for me. How am I supposed to do this?
Bettel asks an important question.
Bettel: Why is there a gorilla in a fuckin' haunted house?
Bettel is knocked back by Dez's attempt to reach the hole.
Altare cannot progress on the hole. Shinri talks about a secret passage on the map involving a moose head. Altare immediately hits his ball back to use the shortcut, in a dejected tone.
- His first shot ends in failure, with his speech devolving into gibberish on his ball landing out of bounds.
Bettel attempts to clear hole 13. He rebounds backwards and devolves into angrish. Flayon compares him to a wild dog.
Flayon and Shinri both shoot at the same time; Shinri hits Flayon unintentionally, sending him backwards.
Flayon: SHINRI YOU MOTHERFUCK-
- Shortly after, Bettel gets hit by Dez.
  Dez: I'm getting bounded- COME ON!
Bettel hits the rim of the hole. He then proceeds to hit Flayon out of spite.
Bettel: Are you kidding me? (hits Flay) Fuck this guy!
Flayon: HEY! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?!
Flayon unintentionally hits Bettel out of bounds after he had made his first shot. He gets sent back to the start of the course.
Bettel: Wait, that sent me all the way back? I'm gonna kill you!
Bettel gets stuck and struggles on hole 16.
Shinri makes a math joke.
Shinri: I can be your angle or your double.
The gang struggles on hole 17.
The gang sees ghost babies wielding axes in the final hole.
Hakka: Shinri's like "Well, you see..."
Shinri: There's a lore reason for this. Let me tell you what they are...
Altare spawns where Dez is and knocks him out of the way. Dez loses it.
Dez: WHAT?! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU, ALTARE!
- Twice. Flayon compares him to a stereotypical grumpy elder.
  Dez: OH MY GOD! I'M GONNA FREAKIN' KILL YOU BUDDY!
  Flayon: You sound like "Get out of my lawn, you kids!"
  Dez: This guy spawned there boopin' me! Boopin' ass fucks!
- Dez later malds that he was griefed.
Bettel and Flayon get to the platform where the hole is. They proceed to troll the other guys by whacking them off the platform to "change the tide of the game". Bettel's first target? Hakka.
Hakka: WHAT THE FUCK?!
- Hakka makes it back onto the platform, with Shinri following close behind. Hakka whacks Bettel off the platform in revenge.
  Hakka: Bastard.
Flayon and Bettel double-team on Altare to knock him off the platform.
Shinri knocks Bettel off the platform.
Bettel: Shinri's just trying to kill me! Shinri, I'm in last place!
The gang has so much fun that the game goes to time. Dez, having just gotten onto the platform, begins malding.
Dez: I ran out of fucking time. I was right there. I was right fucking there.
- The final results screen shows... and Altare emerges the victor. Dez malds even more.
  Altare: LET'S GOOOOOOO!
  Dez: I would have actually beaten Altare if I had just pushed- oh my f- I- I was right there.
  Altare: Well, I'm looking forward to some custom wake-up alarms.
Hakka throws shade at Altare.
Hakka: Don't invite Altare next collab.
Altare: WHAT?!
Bettel: We got owned by Al the entire time.
- Altare decides to correct Bettel. The gang gets a bit shocked.
  Altare: No, you say it correctly! "Al(beep)".
  Bettel: Al(beep).
  Everyone else: Whoa!
Altare gloats at his guildmates.
Altare: Let it known that today was the day that you almost beat Captain Al(beep).
Bettel gives a speech after he leaves the Discord voice chat, giving excuses for his loss.
Bettel: Alright, they're gone. Guys, I may have been overly confident on my golf ability, but tomorrow... humph! Tomorrow... just you frickin' wait. You guys are not gonna want to miss tomorrow. You're not gonna wanna miss tomorrow. It's gonna be badass. So, we could've maybe not come in last place every single time- I'm noot even kidding, it wasn't a bit. Like, I was trying! I'm like impatient! I couldn't do it! I thought I could do it! I thought I could like take my time! It was horrible! I was horrible! But that's okay. I had fun. I like playing with my friends.

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Collab

The EN curse strikes again, with Hakka's internet taking a hit.
The gang's self-introductions have to be heard to be believed.
Flayon: I'm Machina X Flayon, pilot of Guild TEMPUS. I kill. Thank you.
Altare: Hi, I'm Altare. I like Pikachu.
Bettel: Hi. I'm Gavis Bettel. This is my first time on a Switch.
Hakka: Hi. I'm Banzoin Hakka. My Internet fucking sucks.
Bettel, as Bowser, breaks the Smash Ball and uses his Final Smash. He is overjoyed as he uses it.
Altare, as Pikachu, kills himself, gifting the win to Bettel.
Bettel's Sephiroth knocks Dez's Pac-Man out of the map. Dez is dumbstruck.
Bettel breaks the Smash Ball again and goes full ham, to the dismay of the other brawlers.
Flayon: Ah, shit.
Bettel: VICTORY SHALL BE MINE! IT'S MINE!
Altare: NO!
Dez: OH GOD!
Flayon: NOOOOO!
Dez: Wocka wocka wocka wocka wocka!
Dez floats back down to the area, looking all dizzy.
Dez: What's wrong with me?! Look at me! What the fuck was that?! Why was I fuckin'- why was I fuckin' all fucked up?!
Altare, as Bayonetta, kills himself again, gifting the win to Bettel. Again.
Dez decides to use a Wii Fit Trainer in a 1v1 against Altare as Ike.
Altare: You-
Altare and Flayon make fun of Wii Fit Trainer's screams.
Altare: What is that scream?
Flayon: That's- that's an interesting sound!
Altare dodges one of Dez's attacks, taunts him... and gets eliminated immediately afterwards.
Altare: Nice try!
(Dez knocks Altare out)
Altare: AGH!
Dez uses a smash attack on Altare, knocking him out of the arena.
Dez: Get red, you fucker. Get fuckin' red, bro.
Altare uses a downward smash attack on Dez, knocking him out of the arena and winning the match. Dez does not take kindly to this.
Dez: Boo! Boo! Sword- sword character?! Sword?! Boo! Boo!
Altare: Want a rematch?
Bettel picks the Mii Brawler, calling him his "champion" and "greatest soldier".
Bettel: Oh, you'll be fucking shaking when you see me...
Dez tries to figure out how to use Steve.
Dez: Dude, what is this fucking character?
Bettel breaks the Smash Ball. This would turn out to be short-lived, with Bettel taking damage and losing the Smash Ball. Flayon, as Toon Link, breaks the Smash Ball and summarily uses his Final Smash.
Bettel: YES!
(loses the Smash Ball)
Bettel: NO!
Dez knocks Bettel out with a minecart.
Dez: Leave me alone, bro.
(Dez summons a minecart and knocks Bettel out)
Dez: (laughs) Get minecarted!
Dez spends the rest of the game wondering how Steve works.
Flayon’s Toon Link and Altare's Zelda attempt to break the Smash Ball at the same time; Flayon does so, while Altare attempts to break it in vain and lets out a scream. Flayon begins cackling as he uses his Final Smash on Altare.
Despite his efforts, Altare uses a smash attack on Flayon, knocking him out and winning the match. Bettel begins malding about his choice of character.
Bettel: Last place. That character fucking sucks.
Dez decides to try Sephiroth out. Flayon teases him for it.
Flayon: Filthy Sephiroth player!
Altare, now playing as Wario, is riding across the arena with the Wario Bike, knocking brawlers out of the arena. He gets too engrossed that he falls out of the arena on the Wario Bike and kills himself. Bettel, as Yoshi, follows suit.
Altare: (imitating motorcycle noises)
(Altare falls out of the map)
Altare: Oh NO!!!!
Bettel breaks the Smash Ball but whiffs his Final Smash.
Dez: OH GOD THE YOSHIS!
(Bettel whiffs his Final Smash)
Bettel: NOOOOOOO!!!
Altare flubs getting back into the arena and eliminates himself.
Flayon, as Isabelle, secures a clutch victory against Bettel by planting a Gyroid rocket at his feet. The rocket ignites, sending Bettel skyward and knocking him out, using up his last stock.
Bettel: What the fuck just- I just got sent to fuckin' space! I don't even know what that was!
Altare asks if Hakka's connection is fixed. Hakka replies in angrish.
Dez, as Ganondorf, attempts a plunge attack on Flayon as Toon Link, but mistimes his attack and falls to his peril.
Dez: OH GOD!
Dez breaks the Smash Ball. Bettel's Kazuya picks him up and throws him into the void, killing both Dez and himself.
Dez: WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU B-
Flayon wonders why Bettel is so strong. Dez and Flayon start mocking him for it.
Dez and Flayon: Pay to win pay to win pay to win pay to win!
Bettel walks into Flayon’s Final Smash for no apparent reason.
Flayon declares a truce against Bettel. Flayon immediately plunge attacks into Bettel, eliminating him and winning the match.
Most spammed chat message: FLAYSWEEP
Bettel chooses a palette-swapped Fox to masquerade as Wolf. Bettel rolls with it.
Bettel: Diet Wolf.
Altare as Zombie eliminates Dez's Enderman using an anvil. Dez smacks the invisible fourth wall and is eliminated.
Dez: You motherf-
Dez gets caught in the Final Smash of Flayon’s Pichu. He is not entirely happy about it to say the least.
Dez: Are you fucking ki- come here you little Pichu fuck. Get the fuck outta here.
Bettel spams Fox's laser blaster as a "cheese" tactic.
Bettel dies to Dez's magma block and uses his last stock.
Dez: OH MY GOD GET MAGMA BLOCKED.
Bettel laments his choice of character. Again.
Bettel: Dude, Fox sucks. Fox sucks.
Flayon gets hit by Dez's magma block and rebounds between the invisible ceiling and the stage floors. Dez hits him with a diamond pickaxe, sending him flying and eliminating him.
Dez and Altare are in a straight fight to the death, both with one stock. Dez uses an elytra in an attempt to "dunk" Altare; Altare uses a firework at just the right time, causing Dez to miss his attack and plunge to his death, gifting Altare the win.
Dez chooses Olimar as his character. Altare immediately gets suspicious and asks Dez what character he chose. He dodges the question.
Altare: What are you playing as, Dez? I don't like that.
Dez: Yes.
Altare's Joker summons a Flying Man. The gang is confused.
Flayon’s Robin flubs a fall and dies.
Bettel malds at the Flying Man.
Bettel: Get this thing outta here! This fuckin' bird! What is that thing's problem?!
Flayon: It was your friend at first! What happened?
Bettel: It turned on me, dude! Just like everybody in life!
Dez gets bicycle kicked by the Flying Man and begins malding.
Dez: What the fuck is this fucking bird- 8-bit fuck?!
Bettel's Kirby eliminates Altare. Dez immediately chalks his loss up to using complicated characters.
Altare and Bettel lose it at Dez choosing the Piranha Plant. Dez makes a questionable remark.
Dez: Dude, look at these lips, bro. (makes lip smacking noises)
Bettel, playing as Donkey Kong, states he has escaped the Cincinnati Zoo; Altare's Mr. Game & Watch nearly eliminates him.
- Altare later brings up Harambe on the mention of the Cincinnati Zoo. Chat goes wild.
Altare breaks the Smash Ball and uses his Final Smash on Bettel. Bettel laughs at the absurdity of Mr. Game & Watch's Final Smash.
Flayon’s Jigglypuff gets eliminated by Bettel's clapping move why Flayon attempts to rest.
Bettel eliminates Dez using the same move he did with Flayon. Dez is not pleased.
Dez: NO! He gave me the clap!
- Immediately after eliminating Dez, he goes over to try to eliminate Altare... but gets caught under the Twilight Portal rebuilding the bridge and kills himself, gifting Altare the win.
Bettel engages Flayon in a 1v1 and picks "his best character", which turns out to be Mii Brawler.
Bettel: You're fucked!
- When Dez and Flayon find out, they jeer at him.
Bettel actually does significantly better with Mii Brawler, engaging in an intense fight with Flayon’s Toon Link. Dez gives Bettel a new nickname.
Dez: Sweattel.
Bettel engages in a 1v1 with Altare, with Bettel using Bowser and Altare Incineroar. Bettel decides to grab Altare and piledrive him off the map, eliminating both Bettel and Altare.
Axel joins and sees the match in action. He asks Bettel a question:
Axel: What do you do for a living, man?
- Bettel wins against Altare. He immediately requests for a rematch, with both using their mains.
Axel's Sephiroth breaks the Smash Ball. Bettel's Samus eliminates him immediately after.
Dez uses his Pac-Man to try and get back onto the stage. He hits the platform and falls to his peril.
Bettel gets knocked off the stage by King K. Rool. He flubs his jump back up, hits the platform and eliminates himself, using up his last stock.
Axel breaks the Smash Ball and whiffs his Final Smash.
Axel flubs his return to the stage platform and dies, gifting Altare the win. Chat begins malding.
Altare and Bettel engage in that rematch, this time with their mains (Pichu and Bowser respectively). Dez chimes in with this line.
Dez: Alright, Regis Sweatare vs. Gavis Sweattel. He's got the sweatband on, that's how much he's sweating.
Flayon chimes in with his own nickname. Altare doesn't take kindly to that nickname.
Flayon: Sweattel vs. Spamtare.
Dez: Spamtare... (laughing)
Altare: I hate that nickname.
Bettel baits Altare by pretending to not know how to get to the bottom level of the stage. Altare takes the bait; Bettel takes this opportunity to knock him out of the map.
Bettel: How do you get fuckin' down on the-
Altare: From the middle, from the middle.
(Bettel kicks Altare out of the stage)
Altare: YOU TRAITOR!
Dez: Oh, he baited you! He baited you! Oh my God! Gavis Baittel! Gavis Baittel! Gavis Baittel, everybody!
Altare: You're evil!
The fight gets more intense. Bettel grabs Altare, nearly sending him out of the map.
Altare: But I can't grab you!
Bettel: But I can grab you.
Bettel plunge attacks Altare, sending him skyrocketing and eliminating him.
Altare: That was so painful...
- After that match, Bettel opts to sit out of the next match.
  Bettel: I wanna sit one out. I literally am Gavis Sweattel. This is gross.
Axel and Flayon pick Sora. They immediately accuse each other of copying each other. Axel chimes in with this line:
Axel: Shit, the only ever time we're gonna get to to stream Kingdom Hearts is gonna be here, so... we have to make the most out of it, y'know?
Axel breaks the Smash Ball and attempts to find a target. Dez panics on seeing him.
- Axel's target is eventually Altare, playing as Villager. Dez and Flayon go wild.
Dez's Yoshi kills himself by falling off the map.
Altare breaks the Smash Ball and whiffs his Final Smash.
Dez breaks the Smash Ball and uses his Final Smash. Altare plants a tree in an attempt to block his Final Smash; the tree grows a little bit too late and Altare is ultimately hit. A horde of Yoshis comes stampeding over Altare; Bettel is laughing at the absurdity of the Final Smash.
Altare: TREE!
Dez: Get him, boys!
Bettel: Holy shit!
Dez throws an egg at Altare, only for him to grab it and throw it back at him.
Dez: The egg sucks!
(Altare grabs the egg)
Altare: Egg!
Dez: Yeah. Nice try- OH GOD!
Dez breaks the Smash Ball and awaits a target to unleash his Final Smash. Axel lands in Dez's path, but jumps as Dez uses his Final Smash, causing him to whiff it.
The game goes to time with the two Soras duking it out. Flayon whacks Axel, eliminating him and winning the game.
Flayon’s Terry is hit by Dez's Ganondorf, falls into a chasm and dies.
Metal Face appears in the middle of the stage. Dez and Bettel are confused; Axel thinks he looks pretty cool.
Axel's Cloud does a well-timed Blade Beam, killing Dez, Flayon and Bettel in quick succession. All are left dumbfounded.
Dez is killed by a one-two combo by Bettel's Mario and Flayon’s Terry. He immediately accuses both of them for teaming up against him; both say it was accidental.
Dez: WHAT IN THE FUCK? WHAT IN THE F- WHAT WAS THIS TEAMING?!
Metal Face appears again and destroys part of the stage. Dez is caught off-guard.
Dez: Fucking Code Geass on the lev- (Metal Face destroys part of the stage) OH MY GOD!
Flayon gets caught in one of Metal Face's attacks.
An intense brawl goes on between Axel and Bettel. Axel flubs a jump and plunges to his death, gifting Bettel the win.
Flayon and Altare engage in a 1v1, with Flayon as Terry and Altare as Hero.
Altare does a combo knocking Flayon out of the arena. All wonder what that combo is.
Flayon thinks Altare is holding back. Altare counters that remark.
Dez: Why is he shining?
Flayon: He's holding something in.
Altare: My feelings.
The Smash Ball appears and both the guys frantically chase towards it to get it.
Flayon: MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!
Altare: Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!
- Flayon breaks the Smash Ball and unleashes a Triple Wolf on Altare, who screams bloody murder.
  Flayon: BUSTER WOLF!
Flayon and Altare stall for a second. Altare takes this opportunity to smash attack Flayon, eliminating him. Dez and Axel claim "unethical gameplay".
Flayon makes a comment.
Flayon: Geez, you're on my ass...
Flayon breaks the Smash Ball and attempts to finish Altare off. Thankfully for him, he whiffs his Final Smash.
Altare uses a spell and kills himself. After he revives, Flayon uses a Power Wave against Altare, knocking him into a crevice; Altare attempts to get back up and flubs his jump, killing himself, gifting the win to Flayon.
Dez picks Wolf, causing Bettel to mald.
Bettel: I want Wolf, dude...
Axel, playing as Little Mac, uses a fully-charged smash attack against Bettel and Dez, knocking them both out.
Dez: What in the fuck?! This guy's fuckin' busted!
Bettel: Oh my...
Dez parries Bettel's Devil Blaster, knocking Bettel out cold.
Dez: Oh! Get deflected!
Axel is too busy trying to get away from Bettel's Kazuya that he fails to notice that the Smash Ball has spawned. Dez does and immediately breaks it open. Axel is dismayed.
Axel: HEY! WHAT THE HELL?!
- Dez proceeds to use his Final Smash on Bettel to spite him. Bettel is not pleased.
  Bettel: Don't you fuckin' do it! DON'T YOU FUCKIN' DO IT! DON'T YOU FUCKIN' DO ITTTTTTTT!!!!!
Axel whiffs his KO Uppercut and immediately gets eliminated by Dez.
Bettel sends Dez flying and knocks him out with a single punch.
Axel whiffs his KO Uppercut while trying to hit Bettel. He then breaks the Smash Ball and proceeds to whiff his Final Smash too while trying to hit Dez.
Axel pummels Dez, eliminating him and winning the match. Altare makes fun of Wolf's "death" face as he is smacked by Little Mac.
Dez and Bettel engage in a 1v1 "to determine who gets the purple color" on Discord. Bettel picks Mii Brawler again and gloats.
Bettel: You're in fuckin' trouble.
- Dez is exasperated when he finds out.
Dez, playing Captain Falcon, does a Falcon Punch on Bettel, to the delight of the others. He then gets blown up by a stray bomb dropped by King Bulblin and Lord Bullbo used to blow up the bridge.
Bettel breaks the Smash Ball and refuses to use his Final Smash against Dez, knocking him out through knockback. When he actually does use it though, he whiffs it.
The fight gets quiet intense, with Dez finishing Bettel off with a Final Smash. Altare immediately asks Axel for a fight.
Altare and Axel do get into that 1v1, with Altare playing Marth and Axel a shirtless Sephiroth. Chat's degeneracy sets in.
Altare: WHOA! SHIRTLESS SEPHIROTH?!
Axel messes up his smash attack and catapults himself off the stage and dies, gifting Altare the win.
Dez suggests to the guys to play the character most like them in terms of personality. This leads to some pretty interesting choices, with Altare as Hero, Flayon as Shulk, Axel as Wolf and Dez as Robin.
- Axel apparently had not known that there were two different genders for Robin.
Axel breaks the Smash Ball and whiffs his Final Smash.
Flayon gets knocked skyward by Altare, then flubs his landing and jump and dies.
Dez jumps off the map by accident and dies.
Axel: Bye bye, Magni!
Dez, Axel and Altare are all fighting for the Smash Ball. Altare breaks it, then proceeds to whiff his Final Smash.
Altare blows himself up after using a potion, taking Flayon out with him.
Axel accidentally walks off the map and dies.
Altare throws Flayon off the map. Flayon flubs his jump and dies, gifting the win to Altare.
Bettel and Axel engage in a 1v1. Axel picks his "sweaty character", with Bettel declaring he is "no match for his new champion". Dez exposes him for it.
Dez: I'm gonna ruin your joke! He just customized the Mii Gunner. Or something.
Bettel: NOOOOOO!!!!!!
- Axel picks Sora, knowing "he'll never be able to stream Kingdom Hearts". Bettel says he'll pick Bowser. He chooses Mii Swordfighter anyway.
  Dez: Knew it!
Axel has some choice words to say about the Mii Swordfighter.
Axel: Why does he look like a hentai protagonist, man? What the hell?
Bettel has some choice words to say to Axel after using one of his tactics.
Axel: Yo, you stole my b- what the h-
Bettel: Heh heh, I'm you, but Bettel!
- Soon after Bettel gets knocked into the invisible fourth wall.
Bettel knocks Axel out while he is distracted by the Smash Ball.
Axel complains about unfairness.
Axel: You can't use environment to your power, that's not fair!
Flayon: You play as Sora! He uses his friends for his power!
Bettel actually eliminates Axel with the Mii Swordfighter. Dez mocks Bettel in the meantime.
Bettel: MY CHAMPION REIGNS VICTORIOUS!
Dez: He's about to say "BRB guys, I'll be back."
Altare and Dez get into a 1v1. Altare uses Alph while Dez uses Ganondorf.
Dez performs an axe kick on Altare, sending him flying and making him lose one stock.
Dez breaks the Smash Ball and uses his Final Smash on Altare; Altare screams bloody murder.
Altare: Uh oh.
- Dez later uses a smash attack on Altare. He screams bloody murder as he is smashed out of the stadium.
Dez curb stomps Altare and wins the 1v1. He legitimately wonders why Altare picked Alph.
Dez: I'm sick with it, bro!
Bettel engages in a 1v1 with Flayon. Bettel begins boasting:
Bettel: I've transcended and now I've become god!
- The gang later found out he picked Mii Gunner. They are exasperated.
  Dez: Oh god.
Bettel's Mii Gunner is wearing a maid outfit for some reason.
Bettel spams his beam to keep Flayon’s Hero away. Altare, Flayon and Dez comment on the matter.
Altare: They call me Spamtare! What is this?!
Flayon: Mii spammer!
Dez: Spammis Bettel over here.
Flayon uses a spell on Dez, sending him flying. Axel makes his comments:
Axel: Dude, that's so cool! What the hell?! Dude, I needa cop Hero now. What the hell?!
Bettel breaks the Smash Ball and proceeds to whiff his Final Smash.
With both having one stock left, Bettel proceeds to spam grenade launcher shots to have Flayon keep his distance. Bettel actually wins.
The first team battle occurs. Flayon sets the stage for the guys to use a character they've never used before; Altare is content with this. Altare (Mii Swordfighter) and Flayon (Cloud) are put on one team and Bettel (Inkling) and Axel (Chrom) are put on the other.
- When the battle actually starts, the guys are caught off-guard with the appearance of Altare's Mii resembling Matt from Wii Sports.
Bettel gets hit by a car and gets eliminated.
Altare breaks the Smash Ball and proceeds to use his Final Smash, killing both Bettel and Axel.
Bettel knocks Altare out of the map, who proceeds to get hit by a car and eliminated.
Axel breaks the Smash Ball and whiffs his Final Smash, thinking it was an uppercut.
Altare smacks Axel with a broom, eliminating him and winning the round with his team.
Altare and Bettel fight it out in a 1v1, using Marth and Bowser respectively. They fight to determine the next game the gang plays on-stream: Escape from Tarkov or Valheim. Bettel notes he's fine with either.
Bettel summons Leviathan, catching both him and Altare off-guard. Flayon is excited to say the least.
Flayon: YEAH LEVIATHAN!
Bettel and Altare "play footsies".^noteContinuously dodge each other's attacks
Bettel breaks the Smash Ball and proceeds to use Bowser's Final Smash. He goes full ham.
Bettel: Prepare to DIE!
Altare summons Ifrit. Bettel is caught off-guard, not realising the map is raised and falls to his death.
Bettel piledrives Altare and falls to his death again. Cue Dez immediately accusing Bettel of throwing the match.
Bettel launches Altare clear into the sky, causing a twinkle. Bettel wins the game but is somewhat reluctant to pick the game; Dez subsequently forces Altare to play Valheim with the boys on-stream.
The gang plays another four-way match, with Flayon as Hero, Axel as Corrin, Dez as Ness and Bettel as Kazuya. Dez figures out how to use Ness's lightning move.
- Dez is inevitably eliminated first due to not knowing how to use Ness.
Axel's Corrin plunges off the stage and kills himself.
Bettel kills Axel and Flayon with little effort and wins.
Bettel: This guy might be busted.
Altare requests a last-minute crunch match... with Dez! Both choose random fighters. Altare gets King Dedede and Dez Mega Man. Dez begins malding.
Dez: Oh, what the fuck...
- Flayon later suggests the loser be punished.
Altare accidentally falls off the map to his peril... but times a jump right into an Arrow Barrel. He launches himself the wrong way and nearly dies again but times a jump and is safe. Dez isn't entirely pleased at this.
Dez: Altare, dude, I have money on this. You're giving me a heart attack!
Dez knocks Altare off the map. He tries to plunge right back into the Arrow Barrel, but misses this time and plunges to his peril.
Dez complains about King Dedede's size.
Dez: Oh my- dude, he takes up 1/4 of the stage, this fat fuck!
Dez fights with Altare for the Smash Ball. He breaks it and subsequently whiffs his Final Smash.
Altare plunges to his peril the second time in a row. Flayon loses it.
Altare: I was pushing to the right!
Altare finally eliminates Dez by plunging onto him.
The Smash Ball falls off the map twice and respawns continuously. Altare breaks the Smash Ball and uses this opportunity to chase down Dez ominously.
Altare: Hello Dez.
- At an opportune moment, Altare unleashes his Final Smash on Dez, giving a dramatic ending to his match and winning the match. Dez begins malding and changes the rules, saying this would be a best of three.
  Altare: So we're playing Tarkov, right?
  Dez: Oh my fucking God, this guy takes up half the fucking screen here!
The second best of three match with random characters occurs. Altare gets Falco and Dez... also gets Falco. Dez is perplexed, Bettel is confused and Flayon loses it.
Dez: Are you fucking kidding me?
Bettel: What?!
- Axel provides his comments shortly after.
  Axel: Now you'll have no complaints even if you guys lose!
Dez spends the entire match complaining about the stage and the choice of character he received. He eventually gives up and loses the match. He subsequently goes on a bit of a rant.
Dez: Dude, this- I admit full defeat. I can't fuckin' play this character on this map for fuckin'- dude, I admit full defeat. That- that's just garbage. I suck at every facet of what was given to us there. I suck at this character, I suck at the map... I can't. I suck at playing the character... that was just rough.
Altare and Dez agree to have one final match and disregard the results of the previous match. They select random characters again... Altare gets Greninja and Dez Pikachu. Flayon calls it a Pokéfight.
Dez continuously spams Thunder on Altare.
Dez kills himself by accident by plunging to his death.
Altare breaks the Smash Ball and uses his Final Smash on Dez. Flayon and Bettel show concern.
Bettel: Uh oh.
Flayon: Oh SHOOT!
Dez flubs a jump and kills himself, gifting the win to Altare. Dez lampshades this.
Dez: I'm fuckin'- I'm ass, bro.
- Dez makes a comment about Altare post-match, with Altare responding.
  Dez: Dude, Altare's too good across the board. If I don't know what I'm doing then I'm worse than a fucking toddler!
  Altare: It's okay, man. Bettel destroyed me. Don't worry, dude. There's always a bigger fish.
Altare suggests the idea of a tournament between the guys.

WolfQuest Collab

Dez gets curbstomped by a moose prior to the stream.
Dez instructs the gang pre-stream to write a bio for their wolves. Hakka writes his bio in the style of a superhero comic, Flayon in a generic villainous revenge story, and Shinri...
Shinri: help
Dez and the gang cannot take Bettel's bio seriously.
- Dez later proceeds to read in in the style of a Home Depot commercial.
  Dez: "Just a wolf who doesn't play by the rules; get in his way and get run over. You don't wanna be on this doggy's bad side; you will frickin' regret it, and that's a promise. As a pup, Gavis Woofel fell 336 feet from a cliffside and injured his ear. As you can see, one is bent." Let me take a look. Where are you?
  (Dez inspects Bettel)
  Dez: One is in fact bent! "It is a constant reminder of his dark past. He may always be on the edge, but he will never again walk towards the edge of a cliff ever again. Beware of this fearsome wolf."
Dez compares his wolf's size to the rest of his pack.
Bettel spots a deer.
Bettel: DEER! DEER! (proceeds to make snarling and snorting noises)
Throughout the game, the gang makes mention of peeing, mainly as it is the method used to claim territory in the game.
Bettel accidentally jumps off a cliff and can't get back up.
Bettel: It's part of my character arc! I can't go down hills! Guys, if I take one more step I'm done for!
Bettel is gravely injured... and the gang pees on him.
- Betel awakens shortly after. The gang rolls with it.
  Shinri: The reviving powers of urine!
- Shinri makes a remark.
  Shinri: Are you injured? Come here, my child. Drink this.
Shrini loses it at the gang trying to make it back up the mountain.
Hakka makes a suggestive remark.
Hakka: Keep pissing! KEEP PISSING!
Bettel glitches into a rock. He rolls with it.
Bettel: I wasn't the same after that fall...
Shinri asks an important question.
Shinri: Is there like a pee meter? Like, there's no way you can pee this often...
Hakka wrongly defines "constellation".^note"Constipation"
Altare: What's a constellation?
Hakka: When you can't poop, y'know?
The pack is attacked by a bunch of enemy wolves and sent into a panic.
- Bettel and Dez attempt to revive while they are repeatedly killed by the pack of enemy wolves. The pack frantically tries to escape to no avail.
Shinri somehow manages to escape from the wolves. Dez on the other hand...
Dez (gets mauled by the wolves) No! I'm injured! I can't escape! I'm too slow because of my BROKEN FOOT!
Shinri manages to herd the enemy wolves away. Dez tries to make a break for it and begins to slide down the cliff. Flayon has a request for Dez.
Flayon: MAGNI CHANGE THE DIFFICULTY!
Bettel, now revived, jumps off a cliff and is gravely injured. Shinri loses it.
Bettel: You know what they say: no wolf left behind.
(jumps off the cliff)
Shinri: (in between laughter) Did you just throw yourself off of the cliff?
Dez has a strategy to fend off the attacking wolves.
Dez: We'll pee in our territory! They'll leave us alone! I think.
Hakka dies to attacking wolves, who howl on his death. Shinri proceeds to make a comparison.
Shinri: Is this the wolf version of like teabagging on corpses?
Shinri's game bugs out.
Altare, Hakka and Flayon get into a somewhat heated argument, the former having been accused of ditching the rest.
Dez calls the enemy wolves sweaty.
The pack takes a rest and talk to each other.
Bettel: This is only Episode 1.
Dez: (in between laughter) This is only Episode 1...
Bettel: Just you wait for next week!
Shinri: It's not even Episode 1, it's the pilot!
Dez wonders if breeding is possible within the game.
Most spammed chat message: AYO
- He eventually ditches that plan and goes to sleep with the rest of the pack, having been heavily injured.
Dez finds food for the pack. He finds a bison and proceeds to kill it... and gets kicked in the face by the bison and is gravely injured. They ultimately decide to flee, being ganged up upon by two bisons, and decide to hunt rabbits instead.
The pack complain about how slow they are. Shinri makes a comment.
Bettel: Guys, I can't catch up to that rabbit. My leg's broken.
Dez: I'm so slow, bro.
Hakka: Yeah, me too.
Shinri: Just like reality.
Dez complains about his lack of speed.
Dez: I'M TOO FUCKING SLOW! I CAN'T CATCH A GODDAMN RABBIT!
Dez rallies the pack to hunt a bull moose. Dez instructs them to circle the bull moose and attack all at once. Hakka rushes in directly and is headbutted by the bull moose, gravely injuring him.
- Dez ultimately tells the pack to retreat, finding out that the pack had done barely any damage to the bull moose after their onslaught. He laments:
  Dez: I'm significantly more worse off after our last sleep.
Shinri finds a carcass of a bull elk. Dez is overjoyed.
Dez: We don't need to resort to wolf cannibalism quite yet!
Most spammed chat message: YET
Dez ultimately decides to start a new game as they are attacked by yet another pack of enemy wolves.
Dez restarts the game with a lower difficulty level... and they are immediately faced with a pack of elk. The pack goes completely feral as they annihilate the pack of elk, complete with snarling and growling.
Shinri: The boy shall eat well tonight.
Hakka and Shinri track an elk to kill. Things don't go smoothly until the elk stumbles, leading to easy pickings by the two. Hakka rejoices.
Hakka: FUCKIN' DUMBASS! HE FELL DOWN!
Bettel misidentifies a coyote as a tiny wolf. Hakka makes fun of him for it.
Bettel: Guys, I'm killing a tiny wolf and it's orange!
Hakka: That's a coyote, dumbass.
Dez finds an abandoned town. Flayon has his priorities straight.
Flayon: MATING TIME!
Bettel and Hakka find a car in the abandoned town. Hakka has a request for Bettel.
Hakka: Quick Bettel! Fuck the exhaust!
While exploring the abandoned town, the pack subsequently gets into a heated discussion regarding a fictitious TV show involving humans turned into wolves. Hakka chimes in with this line:
Hakka: I'm at the prime of my wolf and then I'm like, "AH, TAXES! FUCK!"
Bettel and the pack get into conversation, with Bettel playing along as a human having turned into a wolf.
Bettel: The pack is my family now.
Flayon and Hakka: Awww!
Bettel: And I hate them.
- Shinri and Hakka chime in.
  Shinri: (in the style of the Epic Voice Guy) Inside you are two wolves. One is feral; the other one doesn't know how to do taxes.
  Hakka: Inside you there's two wolves and they want to fuck each other.
Bettel discovers a partially-submerged town. Hakka chimes in:
Hakka: Global warming?!
Shinri asks an important question.
Shinri: What happens if you pee in the pool?^note
Dez notices the partially-submerged town is unclaimed land.
Dez: Wait. This hex is unclaimed. I must piss.
Dez asks the pack who they would prefer to be in a "cat-dog" situation with.^noteEssentially like conjoined twins Shinri picks Hakka, and Hakka picks Shinri in return. Flayon chimes in with this line:
Flayon: He can't please you like I can.
Hakka imagines being dragged along by Shinri due to his sheer strength.
- Bettel chimes in, saying if he died the other person he was attached to would drag him along while his body rots and disintegrates. Chat grosses out.
- Dez states that whoever would be pairing up with him would suffer as he would be eating the "worst kind of stuff", such as the spiciest foods imaginable. Bettel chimes in again.
  Bettel: They'll be trying to sleep at 4 am and I have a bowl of ice cream in my fuckin' lap.
- Dez asks the pack how they would walk in this form. Bettel states he'd roll like a Droideka.
The pack finds a bull moose. Dez advises them to not attack it. They attack it anyway. They manage to kill it.
The EN curse strikes again, with Hakka disconnecting mid-game. He returns later.
Bettel makes a comment. Dez and Shinri chip in.
Bettel: I dream of my family. Normal human bodies but all their heads are wolves.
Dez: What about the reverse of that though?
Shinri: Aren't those just furries?
The pack splits up in an attempt to claim more territories. Using the instructions the game gives them, they do just that. Shinri makes a comment:
Shinri: It's the bro code! Just piss twice and howl!
Hakka forgets that yellow is the color used by their pack to mark their territories.
Dez describes the scent marker as a "sauna spot".
Bettel is attacked by a grizzly bear. He makes that known to his pack mates in a mock British accent. The remaining members of the pack immediately rush over to assist killing that grizzly.
Bettel: OH SHIT! We've got company, boys! It's not good, you don't want this! We've got a problem! HELP ME! We've never faced a foe so large before! He's got teeth! He's got teeth, he's got claws! He's got teeth, he's got claws!
- Dez opts to retreat, saying it is too tanky and to regroup in Flayon’s direction. Flayon charges ahead, thinking it is a bison. He sees the bear and freaks out.
  Flayon: HOOOOOOOOOLY SHIT IT'S A BEAR!
- Flayon opts to attack the bear for a few seconds while the rest of the pack bail out. Flayon mocks Dez for it.
  Flayon: COWARD! MAGWOLF, RETURN!
Dez has beef with an enemy pack of wolves.
Dez: But be careful; the other wolves, I think they're gonna start to try to try and encroach on- these purple- these purple fucks are trying to encroach on our territory!
Hakka: Me and Bettel sweating like...
Shinri imitates a cowboy.
Shinri: Well partner, this here hex ain't big enough for the two of our wolves.
- Hakka chimes in too, also imitating a cowboy.
  Hakka: Let me tell you a story about pissing in a hexagon...
Hakka compares the icon for a scent mark to the Nescafe logo.
Hakka and Bettel run into a pack of enemy wolves. They begin panicking.
Hakka: OH NO! WE'RE SURROUNDED, BETTEL! RUN!
Bettel: OHHHHHH! SHIIIIIIIIT!
- While Shinri pees on the scent mark, Dez and the others run towards Hakka and Bettel in an attempt to assist them... until the pack of enemy wolves comes. They begin panicking; Flayon is insistent on attacking them while Dez and the rest run like bats out of hell.
  Shinri: Oh shoot, that's a ton of them!
  Dez: They outnumber us! Run! Run! No, we can't! They outnumber us! We can't do this again! RUN! RUN! BACK TO OUR TERRITORY!
- Hakka watches in vain as the pack tries to escape from the enemy wolves.
  Hakka: BUT I'M DEAD! COME PICK ME UP!
Dez is trying to use his Scent View but is immediately mauled by a pack of wolves; as he is being mauled he screams bloody murder.
Dez attempts to single out a wolf to kill. He tracks one down and is hot on its heels but two more wolves come from behind and attack him instead, with the same wolf he tried to kill earlier joining in.
Dez has an idea.
Dez: Wait! Maybe we can aggro this moose to come!
- Flayon and the others lose it.
  Flayon: To what?
  (the pack bursts into laughter)
  Flayon: Why did you pause there?!
  Dez: I didn't pause, that's the end of my sentence! You sick fuck!
  Hakka: To come... here?
  Shinri: I don't know anymore...
The pack gets swarmed on by enemy wolves, who gang up on them and gravely injure all of them. Dez is perplexed, with Altare coming up with a retort.
Dez: What the fuck are we supposed to do?!
Altare: How about we just NOT go into their territory?
Dez resorts to looking up a GameFAQs guide on how to level up.
Dez manages to kill a wolf. War cries sound.
Bettel and Flayon: FOR THE PACK!
Hakka: FOR ELYSIUM!
- After killing a few members of the pack, the enemy wolves retreat. Dez and Bettel turn to mocking them.
  Dez: Get back here, you fucking wolf fuck!
  Bettel: No you don't, you fucking coward!
- They catch up to a fleeing wolf and maul it to death and rejoice.
  Dez: Oh my gosh! Get fucking wolfed on, you wolf fucks!
Dez activates his Scent View in the style of a comic book superhero.
Dez: Wolf Vision, Activate!
Flayon chases down a weakened wolf to kill.
Flayon: Please come back! We have girl scout cookies to sell you!
Flayon asks an important question.
Flayon: Would you eat asphalt?
The pack returns to their territory and rests. Flayon asks an important question, to which Dez has a reply.
Flayon: How much you bet we get attacked?
Dez: No no no. Just piss first thing you wake up.
Flayon: What the fuck?!
Dez: Yeah. Strengthen your territory.
- Given the luck of the pack, they actually get attacked on waking up. Things turn frantic again.
  Altare: Uh oh. We're getting attacked.
- The pack attempts to repeat the same strategy they did with the previous pack. This time, they are significantly more coherent and quickly take down a wolf. Dez starts gloating while chasing down another.
  Dez: Don't let these fucks get away! Come here!
Dez chases a 3-year old female wolf to kill it. Flayon has other ideas.
Flayon: Mate with them instead!
- The pack ignores Flayon’s request and maul the wolf to death. Flayon attempts to sway their thoughts but ultimately fails.
The pack successfully takes over more plots. Bettel and Altare give the signal to pee, which Shinri reinforces.
Bettel and Altare: And pee.
Shinri: Pee twice and howl, boys.
Bettel goes for an "idol meeting".^noteToilet break
Shinri: He's breaking the seal! Remember Bettel, piss twice and howl!
- Battel actually howls into the microphone, sending the pack into a laughing fit.
  Hakka: Damn Bettel, you frying chicken there?
Flayon spots a fire hydrant. Hakka advises him to stay away.
Flayon: A fire hydrant!
Hakka: No, don't pee on those, bro. Those are for dogs.
Altare gets attacked by a pack of enemy wolves as he is marking his scent.
Dez and Shinri are tickled at seeing a couch in the middle of a barren field with elk.
Bettel is gravely injured by a beaver's tail smacking him. Bettel compares this to a Fatality in Mortal Kombat.
Bettel states Hakka has fleas. Hakka roasts him in return.
Bettel: Hakka's got fleas.
Hakka: I don't got fleas, bro. You're the one that looks like a mutt.
- Shinri puts on his Epic Voice Guy voice to narrate this moment.
  Shinri: And here you see the internal power struggle between the TEMPUS pack.
- The roasting continues!
  Bettel: I fine-crafted this wolf for at least an hour! Every single detail is important!
  Hakka: You gotta be more creative like Altare! He's fuckin' blue, bro!
  Bettel: Look at my tail! My ear has its lore!
The pack gets into an increasingly unhinged conversation about peeing.
- First, the gang talks about peeing while running.
  Shinri: The fact that we can't piss while running is a bit of a shame.
  Dez: Oh, like a vapor trail?
  Shinri: Yeah.
  Altare: Are you saying you can do that in real life, Shinri?
  Shinri: You can't?
  Altare: You wanna try? Drive-by piss?
- Hakka equates peeing while moving to "unlocking oneself". Dez disagrees.
- Hakka notes that it's bad to hold your own pee. Bettel makes a remark, to which Hakka agrees.
  Bettel: So you should just piss yourself.
- Shinri notes that power peeing is bad. Bettel wonders who power pees, while Dez equates it to a Hydro Pump and makes an associated sound effect; Bettel later equates it to jet propulsion, while Dez makes a comparison to the shotgun spray in Super Mario Sunshine.
- Hakka asks an important question. He gets some responses of concern.
  Hakka: Bro, have you ever, like, taken a piss so hard it splits in two?
  Flayon: Um...
  Dez: No. Nah, I think that's... that's a problem. That's some kind of-
  Hakka: No? Ah, shit, I'm dying then.
- Bettel then chimes in with his comparison. Shinri loses it.
  Bettel: What, like a fuckin' Galaga buff? Like, what?
- Dez asks an important question and kicks up a hornet's nest of reactions from the guys.
  Dez: Do you guys pee standing up in your home?
  - Hakka and Shinri say it depends from situation to situation, Flayon is confused while Bettel says no, but only if he only has to pee.
Immediately after this conversation, Hakka gets attacked by a pack of enemy wolves.
Hakka: OH NO! I'M GETTING FUCKED!
Flayon: Hakka, your words...
Flayon brings up ChalkZone. Altare says something suggestive.
Altare: Welcome to the PissZone!
- Dez chimes in with this quote.
  Dez: Dude. If I had the chalk, they wouldn't be able to show that on Nickelodeon, I'll tell you that much.
Bettel returns to the topic of peeing.
Bettel: Dude, I've peed on so many places at this point.
Altare: I'm so sorry, YAGOO-san...
Bettel states this is TEMPUS's strongest collab on account of them being wolves. Chat agrees.
Shinri attempts to strengthen his territory.
Shinri: Too soon! Return after 4 hours to reinforce this piss post.
Altare suggests a drinking game. Chat screams in agony.
Altare: Take a shot every single time we say "piss". You'll get drunk. And fucked.
Bettel asks an important question.
Bettel: Do I have 20 yet? 20 piss points?
Shinri calls Bettel "Gavis".
Dez wonders what to do next. The pack is equally perplexed.
Dez: Do they want us to take all of it?
Shinri: I've never been, like, a wolf before, so I don't know what we're supposed to do.
Bettel: This is kinda new to me!
Hakka has a new nickname for Bettel.
Hakka: Gapiss Bettel...
Two hours into the stream, Dez realizes that there is a startling lack of dens or mating opportunities. Dez refuses to restart the game on account of him being two hours in... and then realizes that he's been playing the wrong mode this entire time because a member of chat told him. Bettel mocks him while Shinri and Hakka chime in.
Dez: "That's a different mode." WHAT?!
Bettel: Wow dude.
Shinri: Oh my God...
Bettel: And to think we could've had a whole wolf society by now.
Hakka: Yeah.
Bettel: Now we just have to do it again.
Hakka: With less pissing.
Dez decides to start a new game in the Pack Life game mode while reminiscing about what happened over the past few hours with Shinri.
Dez: We killed all the wolves, we marked...
Shinri: We did wolf things. We came, we saw, and we... peed a lot.
Dez: We pissed.
- He eventually manages to figure out the controls.
Dez states he had been listening to The Other Side from The Greatest Showman on repeat throughout this entire stream.^noteThis song is muted to the stream output Bettel has an idea.
Bettel: Dude. WolfQuest TEMPUS Other Side AMV.
Shinri has an epiphany at the way rivers in the game are generated.^note
Dez has an epiphany, realizing that Pack Life was what he was playing earlier. Flayon chimes in.
Flayon: For two hours, the wrong-
Dez: Yeah, we, we, we were definitely.
Bettel buys a customization pack for his wolf. The others comment on his new wolf design.
Dez: Oh my gosh. You have a short little tail. Oh my gosh! You have a-
Bettel: A Sans eye.
Dez: You have a chūni eye! He has a Sans eye and some scars!
Bettel: (in mock British accent) Best $6 I've ever spent.
The gang catches up to a herd of elk and attempt to kill one... until it crosses a river and speeds off with the pack of wolves still in tow.
- The pack catches up to another elk with Dez leading the charge. Dez gets kicked in the jaw by a panicking elk, bruising his jaw in the process.
  Dez: Oh my fuck! It snapped my jaw in half! I just took 100 damage!
Some crows annoy the pack as they eat the elk.
Altare finds a cougar and the pack gangs up on it. As the cougar screeches in agony as it is being mauled by the pack, Shinri has this to say:
Shinri: Oh, that kind of cougar. Oh my God...
The cougar dies a horrible death. What's the first course of action after it dies?
Altare: Now let's pee on her.
Shinri comments on the toll this game takes on his computer on Stupendous graphics settings.
- Dez attempts to use the Stupendous settings but panics and goes back to his standard Beautiful settings.
  Dez: I can't! I can't! Oh fuck! I can't! I set it back. I can't do it! No, I can't, I can't! It's gonna make my computer explode!
Bettel comments on the terms used to classify the graphics settings in the game.
Bettel: I like how the descriptions for graphics; it's "Fast", "Good", "Beautiful", "Fantastic", "Glorious", "Stupendous". I feel like all of those at the end are the same! Like, what- what makes Fantastic more than Glorious?
- Shinri suggests that the setting names should be rearranged.
Hakka walks back his earlier comments made towards Bettel and gives him a "present".
Hakka: Bettel, I'd like to formally apologize for calling you "ugly" and "a mutt". Here's a chunk of meat for you now. Please forgive me.
Hakka suggests a 24-hour WolfQuest stream. Dez and Shinri are a bit hesitant.
Dez: Only 22 hours left to go!
Dez has his priorities straight.
Dez: Dang it, we didn't get to breed any pups! I'm pissed!
Hakka: The piss war was pretty fun, though!
Dez: Dude, we just pissed for two hours straight! Dude, look at this elk! We fuckin' it up!
The pack decides to collectively howl to end off the stream. Altare however has his priorities straight.
Altare: Sorry. I was peeing on some stuff. On my way back.
- Due to this, Bettel feels Altare is "into it" and grinds WolfQuest. Dez makes fun of Altare; Shinri joins in too.
  Dez: You know when people play flight simulator games, they have like, the flying controllers and like a race car wheel? Altare has like a thing he's strapped into so he's on all fours on like a treadmill.
  Shinri: When he bites, he actually has like a device he bites into.
The gang howls collectively to finish off the stream... and then collectively decide to pee.
Hakka: One last piss!
Bettel darts away after the collective howling.
Bettel: I work alone. A lone wolf, if you will. The pack was never my speed.
- Bettel begins talking like a jaded old wolf.
  Flayon: There's snow area over here!
  Bettel: Sorry. I left that life behind. Goodbye. (darts off)
The pack discusses about being wild animals.
Dez: I wouldn't want to be a wolf. If it's as hard as this...
Bettel: If this taught me anything, being a wolf sucks.
Dez: Yeah. Being a wolf kinda sucks.
Shinri: Being a wild anything kinda sucks.
Hakka: 'cause I'd be pretty pissed if I was a wolf.
Bettel discovers three options when quitting the game.
Bettel: Guys. I can leave the game, not leave the game or "leave and keep wolf in limbo". I know what I'm doing!
- Seconds after Bettel disconnects from the game, Hakka suggests to the pack to take a group picture. Cue Bettel immediately scrambling back to join the game for this group picture, saying it is "important".
- As he approaches the pack, he flies over the pack due to his high speed. The pack is caught off-guard.
  Hakka: Oh my God?!
  Dez: Oh my Lord!
  Flayon: Did you just fly there?!
  Hakka: Motherfucker just TP'd, bro!
  Shinri: Speedrunner strats: glitching.
  Flayon: Bought more than the DLC!
Bettel decides to sit on Dez.
Dez: We are one. We are one wolf.
The pack decides to harmonize their howling acapella style to end off the stream. It sounds decent... until Shinri's howl punctuates with its very out-of-tune "low effort" register.

April Fool's 2023 Relay

Vesper kicks things off as Morf LeRosh, going fully unhinged as a roach-themed VTuber, but also breaking character repeatedly from laughing at himself so hard.
- For once, chat is the one wanting to step on him than the other way around. He's been squished repeatedly (over 1000 times), but always comes back due to Resurrective Immortality.
- Due to a typo he lists his height as 220 meters, and chat fills with calls to deploy anti-kaiju weaponry.
- Morf is willing to taste any kind of food, any time of the day, with one exception: Bettel's food. Vesper even briefly reverts to his normal voice. Bettel, in chat, is miffed, going #NotMyOshiAnyMore.
- Chat repeatedly threatens him with Raid and to get him to behave. When they do this to get him to show merch, despite the lack of merch, Morf pulls up a slide of Tempus-themed boxers.
- Live tag includes #hnnnnngggggggggg (that's five n's and ten g's). Art tags are #MORfart or #LEROshart.
- His VTuber "parents" (character designer and animator) are both Magni. He acknowledges that this is pretty screwed up, including the Screw Yourself it implies, and breaks character as he introduces them. Morf even submits to the Raid so that he can forget the moment.
  Morf: I'm going to level with you: this is a little fucked up. Try not to think about it too deep. I think about this... and it kinda gives me bad feels. I- I- I don't know how I feel about this, but I suppose we have to follow decorum and... and... (breaks character) and introduce our VTuber parents.
- Aspirations include a Fight Club, and he polls chat to see their desired matchups. Popular choices include Vesper vs. Shinri (which he acknowledges will be a Curb-Stomp Battle in Shinri's favor) and Magni vs. Bettel (a showdown of entertainers).
Next is Axel as Gorira Manager, who can only speak in gorilla grunts (lest they doxx themselves) and thus communicates by typing.
- Gorira reveals they were scouted last-minute and is completely clueless to what to do. They don't even have slides.
- Gorira straight-up calls out Bettel for the mischief he's caused. Bettel, in Vanguard's watchalong, can't help but comment on how weird this is.
- As per EN tradition, there's no BGM and Gorira only notices halfway into the stream. Even Vanguard can't tell if this scuff was intended!
- Like Morf, Gorira advertises the Tempus boxers, but urges the audience to buy Axel's. Gori even compares Bettel's unfavorably!
Third is Magni as Cl0pBot, a robot centaur whose name shows he's in the know of the horse version of Yiff.
- He uses a voice mod for Robo Speak and lords his superiority over every other organic species — "fleshbags", as he calls it. He even has a robot neigh!
- Unlike the ones before him, he comes prepared with a very elaborate backstory of how he came to be! He also fortells of a "Great Roach Uprising" in 2077, and advises the chat be wary of Morf, and he speaks of a war between the Centaurs and reverse-Centaurs in his time.
- Fan tag has already been decided as #CL0PNATION.
- Bettel can't catch a break as Cl0pBot expresses his disgust and offers to crush him with his hooves.
Wrapping up the relay is Altare as Justa Worm.
- In contrast to his tiny appearance, Justa has an incredibly low voice (the same one he uses for Tortare in the D&D collab) that puts even Shinri's to shame!
- As a worm he calls himself "the Great CompoSTAR" and passionately gushes over the amount of food he can compost. This includes Magmites.
- As he encourages the audience to sub to him and buy the merch, he says that worms, too, will grow "larger... and larger... and larger..." as he slowly enlarges his avatar.

Vanguard's "Special Zatsudan" chat stream

A drunk Bettel decides to hold a five-hour long chat stream with Hakka, discussing matters of great importance. To start, Hakka and Bettel announce their cover of Inkya Impulse; immediately Bettel starts cringing at himself while Hakka (and the chat) attempt to reassure him.
- On the topic of Inkya Impulse, Bettel feels that performing the song was a wake-up call for him and he needed to get vocal coaching. Hakka immediately screams for a drummer; Bettel gives his thoughts on the matter, "breaking" the chat's immersion, much to their anguish.
  Hakka: Hey! W- w- wait! Where's the drummer?! Where's the drummer, bro?!
  Bettel: We do need a fuckin' drummer and it can't be Phantom...
  Hakka: Bro, no! It's Phantom! Where is he?!
  Bettel: He was CGI'd in, dude. He's not a drummer...
  Hakka: True.
- The solution?
  Hakka: We have to hire a very short person.
  (Bettel giggles)
  Hakka: We have- (bursts into laughter) We have to hire a very short person so that we can green screen him into it.
- Bettel's grievances on singing Japanese in the song led him to half-ass some of the recordings.
  Bettel: I did that part, and I'm like "You know what? I'm not about to- I'm not about to like pretend that I know Japanese. So I'm just going to just say this, and then just send it." I just- I- I did a bunch of takes and I'm like "You know, I sound a little pale. I sound a little pale." I mean, it's just-
  Hakka: A little pale moment, a certified pale moment.
  Bettel: A bit of- a bit of a pale moment. And you know what? I'm just going to send it because we're not fooling anybody... we're just gonna put it in the fuckin' thing! And just call it a day!
- Bettel recalls a moment.
  Hakka: Funny, funny thing! I was... I think it was like at the start of April. I just sent my vocals in around the start of April... (bursts into laughter) I realized, I clicked on a video on YouTube, and I go "Oh, what's this?" I clicked on a video and I recognized the intro track immediately, and it was... (giggles) like Maria Marionette and Ike Eveland did a fuckin' Inkya Impulse cover, and I'm like "You've gotta be fuckin' kidding me! Really?! Really?! Did the same song?!"
  - After heaping praises on said cover, Hakka recalls a moment. Bettel goes ballistic.
    Hakka: We also shared the same instrumentalist, Jun.
    Bettel: OH YEAH! WE SHARED THE SAME FUCKING INSTRUMENTALIST! THAT FUCKING STARTED, AND I WAS LIKE- AND I SAW LIKE THE CREDITS AND I'M LIKE "WH- WHAT THE FUCK?! AND I GONNA-"
    Hakka: Wait a fucking second! (laughs)
    Bettel: I LIKE- I TOOK A DOUBLE TAKE, I LIKE PAUSED THE VIDEO, AND THEN LIKE "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!" And, but... y'know, that was... that was funny.
Hakka and Bettel summarizing their ideas on how to upload song covers.
Bettel: Step 1: find a song. Step 2: sing the song. Step 3: end.
Hakka: Yeah, step 3: upload.
- Bettel revises his above comment. Hakka chimes in too.
  Bettel: That's how I thought it would be, like originally like I was going through something I was like "Oh. Step 1: find song. Step 2: sing song." No. It's - Step 1: find song. Step 2: learn how to sing in Japanese.
  Hakka: Step 3: suffer.
  Bettel: Step 3: learn the right key, kind of? Step 3½-
  Hakka: Cry a little.
  Bettel: Cry a LOT.
  Hakka: Cry a l- (bursts into laughter)
  Bettel: Pull your fucking hair out!
- The pleasures and sorrows of creating a cover, as told by Bettel.
  Bettel: Honestly the only thing stopping me from doing more collabs is putting through the hell of like rerecording.
  Hakka: Recording! (laughs)
  Bettel: I'm like- I'm like "Yeah, I did that wrong! Sorry bro! Uh, you're gonna have to rerecord like, let's see... (flips pages) uh, here, let's see, you need to rerecord like... everything."
- Bettel receives feedback.
  Bettel: Next cover's in English, so you don't need to- I've seen people were like "WORK ON YOUR JAPANESE!" Listen...
  Hakka: Dude, Japanese is hard...
  Bettel: FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE!
  - Hakka recalls a member of staff recorded a Japanese pronunciation guide for Hakka and Bettel. Both laugh at it.
    Hakka: Staff-san- actually, one of the staff members, Staff-san made like a pronunciation guide...
    Bettel: Oh yeah.
    Hakka: And it's so funny because you can hear them like in like the office and they're just like whispering like "(unintelligible whispering)"
    Bettel: (bursts into laughter) Yeah! Yeah, yeah!
- Bettel's thoughts on the pronunciation guide.
  Bettel: That actually helped me but at the same time I'm like "Fuck, this is goddamn hard..."
Bettel has an idea.
Bettel: I should do like membership Duolingo, where grandpa finally sits down, puts on his glasses and learns another fuckin' language for once.
Hakka recounting Bettel's pre-debut.
Bettel: We were having tech support before I debuted and I had so- I had so many issues!
Hakka: OH YES! I REMEMBER! I remember that! Dude, oh my fucking God! Bettel-
Bettel: OH... GOD!
Hakka: Bettel... Bettel... Bettel. I have no fucking idea how you endured through all that shit, I'll be honest with you. I would just have not debuted! If I had like- like, oh, like, it just shows like how- your perseverance, it just shows like the grind like you went through to do everything. If you thought the first week was tough, absolutely fucking not. THIS MAN BOUGHT FIVE INTERFACES. FIVE FUCKING INTERFACES IN A SPAN OF TWO WEEKS! RETURNED THREE, SKIPPED TWO, RETURNED ONE, BOUGHT ANOTHER ONE!
- Bettel chimes in.
  Bettel: And then I built a new computer, got a new motherboard-
  Hakka: AND YOU BUILT A NEW COMPUTER! (while Cry Laughing)
  Bettel: ...got a new- built a new computer, got a new mic, got a new desk-
  Hakka: A new fuckin' chair, yeah!
  Bettel: I got a new desk because it wasn't big enough for my new computer so I got a new desk - and then the tech support guy was going through so many issues with me, and they were so supportive and they were so nice and I'm always like "(imitates crying) ''GOMENASAI I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!" And he's like trying everything to help me and I just don't know what to fuckin' do!
  - He would later reveal that Bettel 2 helped him build his computer.
Bettel found a phone recording of himself in 2017 singing Black Hole Sun, claiming it was "the worst thing he's ever heard in his entire life". Hakka immediately suggests auto-tuning the song.
- Hakka then recalls his "first song documented ever recorded to human life", crossing field... and cringes at that too.
Hakka recounts Bettel pranking him regarding recordings.
Hakka: You know what this- you know what this fucker did?! He tried to fool me!
Bettel: (in between laughter) What?! What?!
Hakka: He tried to fuckin' fool me! When you sent me that rerecording! Ayo- he just like "Okay, I tried rerecording." and I was like "Bettel, this is exact same recording." and he was like "FUCK!"
Bettel buys a Schecter Banshee-7 electric guitar for $1,100. He immediately breaks it after tuning it for the first time.
Hakka and Bettel talk about Flayon’s gear and mention that neither of them can understand what Flayon is saying when he talks about tech.
Hakka recounts helping Bettel with doing some of his primitive overlays for his chatting streams.
Bettel recounted playing RuneScape while in class in elementary school.
- Hakka would later recount playing Neopets in elementary school when his teacher caught him, questioning if Hakka was watching porn, much to a young Hakka's confusion. Bettel and Hakka have some remarks aboout this teacher.
  Hakka: Like- like dude! Like I don't know what kind of fu- like fucked up shit he was like watching!
  Bettel What kinda shit is this guy into, bro?!
  Hakka: Well I mean, I won't judge, I'm probably into it now too!
Hakka recounts logging into his Facebook account.
Hakka: Oh my fucking God! Like, you know what happened to me the other day? I- I logged into my very first fuckin' Facebook account. My very very first fuckin' Facebook account.
Bettel: Ohhhhhhhh NOOOOOOOO! You don't wanna go on there, dude!
Hakka: And while I cringed to death over everything I found, I saw my classmates like graduating college...
Bettel: Yeah.
Hakka:: ...I saw my classmates having fuckin' babies, getting married, like celebrating all these like life achievements, and I was just like "Bruh I just released a KiLLiNG ME cover, I mean I'm winning right here."
- Bettel sympathizes with Hakka and he too offers his experiences!
  Bettel: Dude, I go on there, it's my class with their kids and they're getting married and this and that, they're traveling the world and they're helping people out, and then mine was like from 2015 saying "FACEBOOK, WAT DIS?" and it was a picture of like, of like a video game screenshot that has like no relevance to the caption. I don't use fuckin' Facebook. Fuck that!
Hakka remembers getting questioned about his Alucard profile picture by his aunt, with her interpreting it as "Satanist propaganda". Bettel then remembers his profile picture being that of Godzilla roaring "for like six years"; Hakka calls him a "reptilian apologist".
Hakka: This is why I use a Hamtaro profile picture!
Earlier before the stream, Bettel purchases groceries and a $40 bottle of whiskey as a reward for releasing his first cover. As he was unloading his car, the bottle of whiskey falls out and breaks on his driveway.
Hakka: Depression incarnate, literally!
Hakka recounts him being awoken by a tapping sound on his window at 4 am. Turns out his cat was attempting to re-enter the house, with a dead bird in its mouth. When Hakka opens the window, the cat leaves; Hakka decides to go back to sleep.
Bettel needs to "go to an idol meeting" and requests Hakka to keep the chat entertained.
Bettel: You just do whatever you do. [...] NOT YOUR MERCH!
- Hakka takes this time to "spread" conspiracy theories. Bettel comes back just in time.
  Hakka: ...you see, after I discovered the Earth was flat, I started to thin-
  Bettel: You what?
  Hakka: You've got the Minecraft door!
  Bettel: What did you just sell these people?!
Prior to going to the "idol meeting", Bettel decides to hold a thought until after his "idol meeting". He immediately forgets.
Bettel mentions that someone said he sounded like "a paper shredder" "the other day".
Bettel and Hakka come up with voices for the Bettelion and Hakkitos. Chat are "angered" by Bettel's impression of the Bettelion, forcing them to do "damage control".
Now five drinks in, Hakka jokes that Bettel is drinking the whiskey off his driveway he sopped up with a sponge.
Bettel talks about his luck.
Bettel: I have like luck in the worst ways.
Hakka: Mmm... same. I got into Holostars.
Bettel: Damn- wait is that the- whoa, WHAT?!
Hakka: That's the best luck! That's the best luck, dude!
Bettel: Ah, okay, yeah yeah yeah. I mean yeah, I mean I'd say so, but then I got here and then I proceeded to make my brand of being a loser. (bursts into laughter)
- Bettel continues downplaying his performance in the cover, much to Hakka's chagrin.
  Bettel: Wait, that's good though! That's also lucky because you can release a cover and you're like "Y'know... it could be better."
  Hakka: I'll fucking strangle you, Bettel! I'll fucking stran- I will walk into your room right now and I'll wring your fucking neck 'till you stop!
Hakka's clapback towards his mom.
Hakka: I will cry with like my macaroni like bracelet, you know, like, like, like, like hard work, like crafted and I just come to like my mom and my dad and they're just like "I mean... I guess you tried. But where's your college degree?" I don't know where the fuck is it, mom! Where's my dad?
Bettel and Hakka read Bettel's "obituary".
Hakka and Bettel: Dear Bettelion...
Bettel: If you're reading this, I've died.
Hakka: Finally, right?! Took me long enough.
Bettel: Thank God.
Hakka: Anyhow, going back to where I was saying... this is a Week-In Review!
Bettel: WEEK-IN REVIEW!
Flayon enters the chat. Hakka attempts to coerce him into joining the voice chat while Bettel grabs another drink.
- Flayon enters the voice call. This exchange happens.
  Flayon: I'm being peer pressured. What is it?
  Hakka: Hello. Hi.
  Flayon: Hello.
  Hakka: J- join.
  Flayon: J- joi- (sputtering) what the fu- isn't this your cover collab?
  Hakka: Shut the fuck up. It's a three-man zatsu now.
  Flayon: You shut the fuck up!
Flayon and Hakka discuss about Hakka apparently calling Bettel a bitch in one of the collabs. At least, until...
(opens door)
Bettel: He did call me a bitch!
Flayon’s avatar shows up. Bettel decides to overlay his face over his face.
Flayon attempts to pay Bettel $300 to play The Witch's House.
Bettel reads a comment, with Hakka and Flayon chiming in.
Bettel: Someone said "Please no more League" and that hurt my feelings.
(Hakka and Flayon laugh)
Bettel: You don't got a fuckin' choice, brother. You don't have to watch.
Flayon: Are you on your League or CS:GO arc right now?
Bettel: Both. Both. Extra bad, extra bad.
Bettel rants about his experiences playing with Altare.
Bettel: If you guys fucking get into Cou- like you need to like get into it. I don't mean like "(squeaky voice) Oh I've just played it once! I've just played it once and I'll just-" no. You need to play every fuckin' single day with me and Altare. Guess what? I played with Altare this morning, I got out of bed, he DM'd me, he said "League". I mean, sorry.
(Flayon snickers)
Bettel: He said "CS:GO". And then I got onto the computer and bottom fragged and did shit at CS:GO, and we played two games and won both of them 'cuz he carried me and I said "FUCK THIS!" and then I said "Alright, see you tomorrow, bro."
Hakka: Meanwhile, me and Altare: "How the fuck do we do a Minecraft server?"
Bettel "traumatizes" Hakka by reminding him of him being tranq'd by Bettel to get him out of Xenokuni.
Flayon: Oh my God, it's SPRMO.
Flayon requests Bettel to do an impression of Courage the Cowardly Dog. He obliges.
Bettel: The things I do for love!
- Hakka then does a Doofenschmirtz impression. He follows that up a brief Mickey Mouse impression, causing Bettel to panic. They subsequently make cheese-related jokes.
In an attempt to get Shinri into the call, the trio do a "Shinri mating call". It fails.
Flayon: I don't think he's coming.
Bettel thinks about doing "kitty cat maid café voices" for his Tier 3 subscribers and does some mock voice acting, to Flayon’s horror.
Flayon: Please tell me that's not what you sent them.
Bettel: I guess you'll have to find out for Tier 3.
- Flayon actually subscribes to Bettel's Tier 3 membership using an incognito account. Bettel reads his name out and blows Flayon’s cover, infuriating him.
  Bettel: Jesticles eat the- Jesticles get fed, like meow meow just subscribed to the Jesticles. Thank you.
  Flayon: OI DON'T FUCKING READ IT OUT! YOU IDIOT!
  Bettel: What? WAS THAT YOU?!
  Flayon: YES!
  (Bettel and Hakka burst out laughing)
  Flayon: NOW I'VE GOTTA CHANGE THE FUCKING NAME! YOU FUCKING IDIOT!
  Bettel: Well, I hope you enjoy this month's, you sick... fuck!
- Bettel makes fun of Flayon’s alt account.
  Bettel: (laughs) It's his alt account! Why is your alt account called "meow meow"?!
  Flayon: It's the only thing I can think of! I'm changing it now!
- Minutes after Flayon joins Bettel's membership, many viewers upgrade their membership tiers, with others gifting others multiple memberships!
Hakka then advertises his membership, much to Bettel's consternation.
Hakka: Hey guys, you know that, if you join my Tier 2, I actually have, uh, Bettel-
(Bettel laughs)
Flayon: ARE YOU ADVERTISING YOUR FUCKING-
Hakka: I have Bettel's voice packs like half the price!
Bettel: No, you don't! That's A LIE!
Hakka: No, I do! I just up- I just made a post right now. (unintelligible)
Bettel: (in between laughter) No you didn't- that's fucked up! That's- that's like fucking- that's fucked- that's literally like- I can sue you!
Hakka: We're in the same company, you animal!
Hakka hears the voice clips.
Flayon: Nyachos...
- Flayon continues to hear some of the clips and dies from cringe.
- Hakka advertises his membership again.
  Hakka: I'm telling you right now, if you go into my membership and you subscribe to my Tier 2...
  Flayon: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
  Bettel: Go ahead, fuck it.
  Flayon: Go for it.
  Bettel: Go for it, dude. Say it loud and proud.
  Hakka: I'll see you in court!
- Bettel slips up.
  Bettel: I'm gonna sue Bettel, I'm gonna sue- wait what?
Hakka's comments about the sound design for Bettel's membership voice pack.
Hakka: Not my proudest fap, I'll be honest with you.
Bettel has no idea what "NTR"^noteTerm used to refer to unfaithfulness/cheating in explicit media is; Hakka feigns not knowing what the term means. Flayon sends a Discord message to Hakka to explain the term. Hakka responds.
Hakka: Oh, National Tempus Radio! You're right!
Flayon: Yeah...!
Hakka: You're right...! I know what it means, Flayon. It was a joke. (laughs)
Flayon: YOU FUCKING BI-
- Bettel still has no idea what it means. Flayon adds Bettel to the message stream. He responds.
  Flayon: Don't read it out, please!
  Bettel: Oh God. That's in this anime? I don't think I wanna watch this any more...
- Flayon’s attempt at explaining the term in a PG manner.
  Flayon: So if A likes B, she's C, C wants to take B away from A.
Bettel grabs another drink while Hakka goes to get more water, asking Flayon to keep the viewers entertained.
- Bettel returns with a drink. Flayon asks an important question.
  Flayon: Are been drinking?
  Bettel: I've been.
  Flayon: (imitates Bettel) I've been- how do you hold your liquor, though?
  Bettel: Good enough. I haven't said anything horrible yet.
- Hakka chimes in.
  Hakka: IN A CUP! IN A CUP! HE HOLDS IT IN A C-
Hakka describes how he eats an entire pizza.
Hakka: I roll that shit and I eat it like a big ass burrito.
Flayon: How many calories was that? Like 3,000?
Hakka: Brother, I lost count after the third bite.
Hakka talks about his moldy ear, grossing Bettel, Flayon and the chat.
A drunk Shinri joins the Discord about an hour after the attempted summoning.
Shinri: Spoiler alert, I'm- I've been like drinking for a while...
Bettel: YEAHHHH!
Shinri's plans while drunk.
Shinri: Dude, what I wanted to do was I wanted to go on Escape from Tarkov and be one of those streamers who like opens on like VoIP in Tarkov, and like every single time someone shoots at me I'm like "Whoo, baby, c'mon. Let's talk about this."
Flayon asks Shinri an important questiion.
Flayon: Would you say that you're normal?
Shinri and Bettel: No!
Flayon: THAT'S WHAT EVERYONE HAS BEEN FUCKING SAYING!
- Shinri's opinions on being normal.
  Shinri: My take is: normal is based on what everyone else thinks, right, and unfortunately that just ends up with like popular opinion, right? Whatever the popular opinion is, like being normal, right? That's boring! You gotta be you! You really have to just be yourself! If they say you're weird? Fucking own it! Like straight up own it! You have to own it!
Shinri attempts to rizz the chat.
Shinri: Okay so here's the thing, this is what you do: as she comes- as you see her coming out of the TV, right, you lift the TV up and you hold it above your head, right, because gravity makes her fall down right into your arms.
Bettel: OH MAN, HE GETS IT!
Hakka's fetishes.
Hakka: Yor Forger! OH, MAMA! Brother, have you seen those legs?! I want her to murder me! I've seen some figurines of that shit and I can tell you... I know what to buy you for your birthday! There's something about strong, independent, dangerous women that turns me on!
Bettel decides to release his Inkya Impulse cover without telling anyone.
Bettel: I literally told nobody I was dropping it! I was like "Fuck it! Let's just drop it!"
Hakka's neurons fire again with the sight of Seras Victoria.
Hakka: OH... MAMA!
The gang segues into talking about Sailor Moon characters. Shinri talks about his type.
Shinri: I'm pretty sure my type is, like, very obvious, I don't even have to say.
Hakka: Yeah, doesn't have to be human.
Shinri: Wow...
- The gang attempts to guess. Flayon has a hunch.
  Flayon: It's Mercury, isn't it...
- Bettel takes this guessing game very seriously.
  Bettel: What's the one with the brown hair? Jupiter?
  Hakka: Uh, Pluto?
  Bettel: Fuck.
  Shinri: It is not Jupiter and it's not Pluto.
  Bettel: What's the one with the pink hair?
  Hakka: Venus?
  Bettel: Venus!
  Shinri: Wait, isn't Venus- no, it's not Venus.
  Bettel: FUCK!
- Shinri's favorite is indeed Mercury, much to Flayon’s annoyance.
  Flayon: I FUCKING knew it!
- Flayon and the gang discover Shinri's type.
  Flayon: Write that down write that down write that down write that down!
Bettel talking about his Monster binge.
Bettel: I watched it like three times in one day.
Shinri: Damn.
Flayon: Geez.
Bettel: I was so f- I love that movie, dude! I watched it with like my brother, then I watched it with my family and then I traveled and watched it with my grandma!
While talking about Thunderbolt Fantasy, Bettel's phone dies, leaving his avatar static. Shinri is unsurprised...
Shinri: So Bettel, when are you gonna do a watchalong of Thunderbolt Fantasy?
Bettel: I dunno, my phone just died so I'm just frozen in place.
Shinri: Why do you never charge your phone?!
- ...and proceeds to rail Bettel!
  Shinri: Every single time like I tune into every other stream of yours and it's always "Oh, my phone just died, I forgot to charge it." Like, it's...
  Bettel: I keep forgetting! Fuck!
  Flayon: It's ingrained in him, he can't do anything else.
  Shinri: It's our work phone! It doesn't go anywhere! Like, it's there on your desk! Like-
  Hakka: It should always be plugged in!
  Bettel: I put it on my bed and I charge my personal phone and I forget...
  Flayon: Oh my goodness gracious...
  Shinri: Oh my God...
  Hakka: Goddamn, dude...
  Shinri: Why- why did you unplug it, ever?! Like- like mine is always plugged in!
Bettel and Shinri recall the former's streaming issues due to his use of Wi-Fi and not wired internet.
Bettel types "Im png" and puts it over his now-static avatar.
Shinri's pet peeve against wireless headsets.
Shinri: How can you use wireless?!
Bettel: SHINRI!!!!!
Shinri: No way!
- Shinri then goes on a rant against wireless headsets. Bettel sneaks out "to attend an idol meeting".
  Shinri: Okay, here's the thing, here's the thing. Most wireless headsets operate on the same frequency that Wi-Fi does, so if you have a Wi-Fi router in your house, that will interfere with your wireless headset.
  Bettel: What the fuck is this guy talkin' about? I'm gonna go take an idol meeting.
  Shinri: They operate on the same frequency, the same hertz! Like c'mo- oh my God...
  Bettel: BWAAAAAAAAAAAH I'VE NEVER HEARD SUCH A FUCKING THING IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!
- Hakka makes a suggestion... and Shinri begins railing Hakka!
  Hakka: See, brother? That's why you switch to 5G Wi-Fi, bro!
  Shinri: NO! 5G'S THE SAME THING! There's 2.4 and then there's 5, and they both operate- they're very commonly used frequencies! Absolutely-
- Flayon makes a comment.
  Flayon: Ohhhhhhhhhhh. You must hate the new phones then when they don't have any ports for the headphone jack!
  Shinri: Oh my God...
  Flayon: And now you can't charge and listen to music at the same time!
- Shinri continues his crusade against wireless headsets.
  Shinri: Okay, here's the thing. Have you ever- if you use a wireless headset, have you ever had those moments where like your audio will cut out and you'll hear this weird rhythmic beeping noise?
  Hakka: (imitates beeping)
  Flayon: Yes.
  Shinri: Exactly! That beeping noise, right? That is the beeping noise of your wireless headset trying to reconnect to your computer while fighting against the Wi-Fi signal operating at the same 2.4 GHz frequency. You need to-
  Hakka: Well these motherfuckers (unintelligible)!
  Shinri: Just don't do that! Just don't! Be wired! There's no need! Okay, the only time you would ever use a wireless headset is if you're going to the restroom to break the seal and you're just really curious about what your friends are saying. That's the only time when you'll need a wireless headset.
  Flayon: That's when you use it?!
  Shinri: Right?! Yeah. But, honestly, you don't need it! You don't need a wireless headset! PLEASE just get a wired headset.
- Bettel has an idea.
  Bettel: I'm gonna fight Shinri in a fistfight and I'm gonna lose but it'll be epic.
  Shinri: I'm trying to help you.
Shinri takes his sixth shot... and immediately after takes his seventh.
Flayon: How much have you had, Shinri?
Shinri: Uh... six.
Flayon: Oh my... Lord.
Bettel: Oh, right behind you, dude!
Shinri: Oh shit, let's go! Okay, you want- we're gonna make it seven. We're gonna make it seven. (downs seventh shot)
Shinri forces Bettel to charge his phone after the latter asks how long they'll be taking shots.
Bettel: How long are we doing this?
Shinri: Until you charge your goddamn phone!
Bettel: OH, FUCK OFF!
Shinri and Bettel talk about Entenmann's donuts and agree on their taste.
Shinri: Ooh... oh my God...
Bettel: C'mon, Shinri...
Shinri: Okay no here's the thing. I exclusively see these at gas stations...
Bettel: Yes, yes.
Shinri: ...and I love them.
Bettel: They're good YES! Yes!
- Shinri makes further comments about Entenmann's donuts.
  Shinri: I never see them at any respectable like grocery store; I only see them in like- the sketchiest gas stations with that one guy who's like chewing straw just starin' at you funny, like "What'rya in here for, stranger?" but like it's always those! But like they're just so good, oh my God!
- Bettel talks about his grocery store adventures.
  Bettel: Dude I went to the grocery store today hungry and I left with Entenmann's donuts. I went to the fridge to get more orange juice for this fuckin' Screwdriver and I saw the Entenmann's donuts and I'm like "Fuck, I know I've done it again."
Bettel and Shinri argue about the types of food they get in their school vending machines.
On Shinri's request, Bettel eats a SunChip and expresses how much he loves it.
Bettel: (crunch) Uuuungh... ugh... ah, cheesy goodness...
Shinri launches into a rant about salt directed at Flayon.
Shinri: It's not genetically engineered for that! It's just how cuisine works!
Flayon: CUISINE?!
Shinri: You put the salt on top, you put the flaky salt at the very end of the meal, so that when it hits your tongue, you are ready! Your salt hits your tongue first and then opens up your taste receptors for all the flavors that are about to cascade right down your mouth!
Flayon: Ratatouille. You are Ratatouille.
Bettel and Shinri agree about the worst thing in a Chex Mix box; the "white bread thing".
Bettel: God, Shinri and I on the same fuckin' page! Shinri and I need to collab next week! Let's continue We Were Here.
- Bettel is unable to believe that they are on the second to last puzzle.
  Bettel: There's more puzzles after that, right?
  Shinri: No, it's the second to the last one.
  Bettel: You're kidding.
  Shinri: No, we are at the last one.
  Bettel: What? Oh, you're fucking kidding me... we're was the second to last puzzle?
  Shinri: (in between laughter) Yeah, that was the second to last puzzle!
  Bettel: Oh... FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK!
- Shinri agrees to a collab with Bettel regarding the successive games in the We Were Here series.
  Shinri: Yeah. I'm done, yeah. Time and place, let me know. I'm here for you.
  Bettel: Dope!
Shinri has a hot take.
Shinri: Hot take. IHOP's scrambled eggs are not real eggs...
Bettel: No, they're not!
Shinri: ...but they're actually better.
Bettel: (bursts into laughter) WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
Bettel's CS:GO and League woes.
Bettel: I've been playing nothing but CS:GO and League of Legends and getting my fffffffffffffucking ass kicked all day! I played with Altare in CS:GO, he's like "Oh! We did it! We did it, Bettel!" and he's like 20-0 and I'm 1-58, like I just look like shit! And I'm like "Ah, great Altare! YOU'RE SO FFFFFFUCKING GOOD AT THIS GAME!"
Flayon: And he's really nice back still, right?
Bettel: And he's so sweet! He's so sweet, he's like "No, we did it together!" I'm like "Ohohohohohoho did we? Did we?!"
Flayon: Altare after getting five more quickshots: "Oh, that was amazing Bettel!"
Bettel: He's like "You're so- you're cracked!" I got one AWP shot because the guy was AFK.
Flayon suggests a Vanguard CS:GO collab; Shinri is hesistant as he would much rather play Valorant. Hakka tries to coerce him.
Hakka: It's anime CS:GO, bro!
Shinri: IT'S NOT THE SAME! Oh my God...
On Shinri's request, Hakka and Bettel do an impromptu cover of their Inkya Impulse cover.
Hakka: Gomenasai...
Bettel: TSUITEKENE NA (unintelligible)
- Bettel attempts to downplay his singing ability again.
  Bettel: If you cut it in half and listen to Hakka's parts, it's fucking awesome!
  Shinri: No... don't sell yourself short, man.
  Bettel: NO, STOP!
  Shinri: I've seen your karaokes. You are good.
  Bettel: My karaokes are good. My karaokes are fuckin' awesome, dude! The covers, though...
  Shinri: Hell yeah they are!
  Bettel: ...they need help.
Shinri breaks into DADDY ! DADDY ! DO ! Bettel admits something.
Bettel: 'cause I'll be honest, I don't know how the original goes, so the original to me is Shinri's cover.
Shinri: I'm so sorry!
Shinri spams the link to the Inkya Impulse cover in Bettel's chat while Bettel begs him to stop. To take his attempt further...
Shinri: Wait, do we have a mane-san/mane-chan who's like available to pin that?
Bettel: Fuck no, dude, they're gone! They're gone!
Flayon: I think they're all away.
Shinri: I'm a mod! I can go ahead and pin this shit on my own, right?
Flayon: Yeah you can!
Shinri: No, I'm sure I can't! I tried!
Bettel says his cover is "a little embarrassing". Shinri has other opinions.
Shinri: How is that the embarrassing thing and not like all of the handcams you did?
Bettel's phone is charged. Shinri tells the guys to take their clothes off.
Hakka: Oh shit we're naked now? Hold on...
Hakka makes a comment.
Hakka: Have you ever seen how fuckin' malnourished I am? Just look at my fuckin' arm...
Flayon: Go exercise!
Bettel: Dude, go eat a fuckin' Twinkie! What's your problem?
Bettel and Shinri talk about popsicles.
Bettel: See, my favorite popsicle flavor was Root Beer.
Shinri: What? What-
Bettel: Root Beer-flavored popsicles were fuckin' awesome!
Shinri: What kind of boujee-ass popsicle did you eat that you had a flavor? Mine was only colors! We had like the blue popsicle, the red popsicle, the purple popsicle, right? Mine was purple. You have like full-on root- nah.
Bettel takes another "idol meeting". Hakka and the rest engage in discussion.
Flayon: Who started that? Was it you, Hakka? Idol meeting?
Hakka: No, that wasn't me! I just say "I wanna take a fat piss, be right back."
Flayon: Oh my God...
Shinri: I've been saying "idol meeting" because we gotta be seiso. We are idols. We are HoloSTARS.
Hakka: Nah man, I'm a man with a bladder.
- Bettel returns from his "idol meeting" and gets the ball rolling again.
  Bettel: These guys said "He had to substitute Sim Saturday for this shit." But this shit is so much better than Sim Saturday AM I RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?!
The gang has a debate about sparkling and still water. Shinri goes into a rant about bottled water and sparkling water.
Shinri: You think you can go out there, right, somewhere on the Philippine night market and you get water fresh from the tap? You are NOT going to survive that.
Bettel's escapades on a flight to the United Kingdom.
Bettel: I traveled, I got food poisoning on the flight, and the pandemic. At the same fucking time.
Shinri: You got them on the f- (bursts into laughter) What kind of flight were you on?!
Bettel: Dude that flight was tryna kill me, man!
- Bettel later revealed that he was watching Joker on the flight.
The gang argue about the best water to drink.
- Shinri disagrees with Bettel's assesment that Fiji water is the best and requests for his scoring criteria.
  Shinri: Alright. Okay, if we're doing this- if we're doing this, and we are doing this, right now, right? What are the criteria that you are measuring that Fiji water so that you can say that it is "pretty good"?
  Flayon: Doesn't taste like Pepsi water!
  Bettel: It's- it's pure and yummy!
  Flayon: Pure and yummy!
  Shinri: The hell does pure and yummy mean?!
- Hakka much prefers Dasani, much to Flayon and Bettel's consternation.
  Hakka: Dasani is way better than fuckin' Fiji water.
  Flayon: DASANI, WHAT?!
  Bettel: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! DASANI BAD! Hello?! Earth to Hakka? Dasani tastes like fuckin' turf!
- Bettel makes an attempt to describe the taste of Fiji water. Shinri is turned off by this description.
  Hakka: Then what does Fiji water taste like to you?!
  Bettel: It tastes like cloud! It tastes like yummy cloud!
  Hakka: No, dude, it's like... ugh... I dunno, man...
  Shinri: I need you to describe the cloud; like, tell me exactly what i- what is the texture, what is the mouthfeel of that cloud.
  Bettel: Oh, it's so cute... delicious... it's like jerking a cloud from the heavens above...
  Shinri: I would rather not drink my water by jerking off a cloud.
They then argue about whether landing or taking off in a plane is worse.
Bettel then talks about his ideal age for a girlfriend; less than 31.
Bettel: 31 scares me! I feel like they're really old and they're like an adult! I don't know adult things yet! I feel like 31 they're like doing their taxes and they have like 15 children! I don't know what to do at that point!
Shinri: FIFTEEN CHILDREN BY THE AGE OF THIRTY!
Bettel: Yeah, I'd bet you'd take that personally, you motherfucker.
Flayon suggests to Bettel to take care of a plant to see if it survives as preparation for his future.
Bettel: I had a sunflower and it died in a week. Because I didn't know it needed the sun. (bursts out laughing)
(Shinri sinks)
Flayon: It's in the fucking name, Bettel!
Hakka: IT'S IN THE FUCKING NAME! "What's wrong? What's wrong, buddy? Why are you fuckin' dying?"
Flayon: "I need you to water me!"
Bettel: I kept it in my closet.
Flayon: WHAT?!
Shinri: WHY.
Flayon: The fuck, how was it gonna live?! Photosynthesizing off your shirt?!
Bettel: I'm like "Oh, do you want water? Do you want water? Are you sad? Do you want water? I can give you it water!" and then it died.
Shinri: WHY.
Bettel: So yeah. 31 too high.
Bettel has a plan.
Bettel: I'm gonna disassociate from Vanguard until I'm the jest... man. I'm the jest man. Who doesn't have kids and drinks on planes.
Shinri's imagination runs wild.
Shinri: I have this imagi- like image in my head of Bettel being in his seat while they are like 15,000 feet, like miles up in the air. "Why are you running?! You are a stewardess!"
Shinri requests Hakka and Flayon to do their lowest voices. They oblige.
Hakka: Hi, it's um... Banzoin Hakka. Um, hello. That's all I can do.
Flayon requests Shinri to imitate him. He obliges.
- Shinri then commits to talking in his highest tone of voice possible for him for the remainder of the stream.
Hakka asks Shinri a question. He replies.
Hakka: Shinri, would you ever want to fuck a kraken?
Shinri: I would love to fuck a- (bursts into laughter, starts coughing)
Bettel takes another "idol meeting", claiming Flayon is a bad influence. Shinri agrees... but in his low voice!
Flayon: I'm not a bad inf- I'm not doing anything! Shinri, you think I'm doing anything bad...
Shinri: Yes.
Flayon: Hey what happened to your high voice, huh? Huh?!
Shinri: Uhh, yeah!
Shinri and Hakka attempt to say the three-choice question using their high voices.
Shinri: Okaerinasai, anata~ Gohan wo... taberu? Ofuri ni suru? Soretomo... wa... ta... shi?
Shinri then forces Bettel to say the line, reading it out in a sexy male voice. Bettel obliges.
Bettel: Alright, I guess it's my turn... (long censor beep)
Hakka: What did you just call me?
Flayon: Your mouth isn't even fucking moving!
(Shinri laughs)
(censor beep stops)
Shinri: Just like that, Bettel.
Bettel: Thank you, thank you. I did my best.
- Hakka's comments after Bettel's "attempt".
  Hakka: This really is a special zatsudan 'cause this shit's not gonna survive!
Bettel "sings" the chorus to Through The Fire and Flames.
Bettel: SO FAR AWAY, WE WAIT FOR THE DAY
- Shinri discovers that there were actual lyrics to the song.
Shinri asks an important question.
Shinri: Wait, question. How much do you want this karaoke - I mean, sorry - this VOD to last?
Bettel suggests a "fuckin' shitpost weekend karaoke".
Shinri and Bettel get into a minor argument.
Shinri: I'm go gonna learn Ghibli songs and you're gonna not know Ghibli songs.
Bettel: Alright, then you do that song and I won't participate!
Shinri: It's not- that's not how it works! I- I can't just- you can't sing Johnny Cash and me sing like *NSYNC in the background!
Shinri suggests Kesha and sings it on stream to a panicking chat.
Shinri: It's fallin' down, I'm goin' timber, we're gonna move, we're gonna dance
- Other suggestions from Bettel include Coldplay, Maroon 5, Queen and the Backstreet Boys. Shinri sings some songs as well to a very, very panicked chat.
Shinri grills Bettel on his setlist and his insistence on singing English songs.
Shinri: Hold up. I need Bettel right now to list down five of his "western" songs (airquotes). Because you are sooooooooooooooooo adamant about these "western" songs!
Bettel: Whoa! What is this, like, claim?!
Shinri: I just need to know! If you're gonna be so "western" song about them!
- Bettel's five songs he listed: Creep, Everybody (Backstreet's Back), Toxic, Bad Romance and Sound of Silence. Shinri calls his song choices "basic".
  Shinri: Ergh... I mean, I know it, but it's just kinda like, it's pretty damn... I'm just saying it's basic! I'm just saying it's basic.
  Bettel: Listen. I'm going for basic 'cause not everyone knows all these fuckin' like obscure songs!
- Shinri suggests a drunken Piano Man and Bettel a drunken I'm Still Standing.
Near the end of the stream, alcohol starts to set in.
Bettel: Let's discuss it lady- later, later. I'm fucked. I haven't even finished my other drinks.
Shinri: Oh shit, I haven't finished my drink.
Bettel realizes he's trending on Twitter!
Bettel: I'm trending?! OH NO!
Flayon: Trending? You deserve that.
Bettel: OH GOD HE'S RIGHT!
- He sees an... interesting image... which Shinri decides to spam in chat!
  Bettel: YAGOO is posing with underwear and it looks fuckin' awesome!
The gang agree on a karaoke.
Shinri sings Sway to a panicking chat.
By the end of the stream, Shinri is clearly quite drunk.
Shinri: Dude, my tits are out all the time and I am just so tired of my tits being out all the time. I want- dude, I want a turtleneck. I think a turtleneck is good. Here's the thing. When I hug a koi, I want to be like hug and squeeze but like I want- just to feel that squeeze. It's not like up against my pecs and shit, y'know? Like... oh my God. I just wanna hug 'em!
To end off the stream, Shinri ends off with a serenade of Shiny Smily Story to... guess who.

Gartic Phone Collab (Bettel's Birthday)

The gang gets together to play Gartic Phone for Bettel's birthday. The initial game has the gang draw some... questionable objects. Bettel panics, opts not to show them on camera and "restarts" the stream.
Most of the stream consists of Bettel's attempts at replicating other drawings, to the hilarity of the guys and the viewers. Some of his drawings include a crude representation of Snailtare, one of his "famous" Axel drawings (a monster-like Axel) and him making a character shoot lasers out of their eyes!
The guys draw Animations next; as usual, some of the resulting animations result in the guys corpsing in laughter. These include Phantom sleeping and waking up, Bettel's crude drawing of himself with snot out of his nose and some animations which make no sense to even the viewer.
Bettel goes to get a drink. Flayon takes a pot shot at Bettel while he is AFK.
Flayon: (under his breath) What a weird guy...
Bettel: I HEARD THAT!
Arguably the funniest part of the stream would be the Story mode, with the stories devolving into making little to no sense. Three rounds were played; most stories featured pot shots directed at Bettel. In the first round...
- Bettel's story about two dogs.
  Gavin Bottel (Bettel): Two dogs lived on a beach. They loved each other. They died.
  MachinaXCrayon (Flay): Eventually their children fought over the inheritance. Kill
  Regis Arttare (Altare): The daughter killed the son and took the money and ran.
  Dik'n'Bals (Axel): But she was still broke as f
  ArtzoinTheHakktist (Hakka): and she decided to skin Hakka alive and sold his organs on
  Shinrillustrator (Shinri): meatBay where many people gathered to purchase choice cuts
- Shinri's story about Bettel in the future, read in his Epic Voice Guy impression.
  Shinrillustrator: In the not so distant future in the land of Elysium there wa
  Dik'n'Bals: s a short man called Bettel who was trying to look for a sex
  MachinaXCrayon: Bettel then decided to transcend and beco
  Gavin Bottel: become a dog that shot lasers out of his eyes.
  Regis Arttare: The dog then terrorized the tri-state area and took over the
  ArtzoinTheHakktist: government, aboloshing all anti Vtuber laws, what a chad.
- Hakka's story about Phantom's revenge plot.
  ArtzoinTheHakktist: Phantom wanted revenge, he had enough of this shit.
  Gavin Bottel: He loaded up on guns and ammo.
  Dik'n'Bals: and started blasting at his neighbours
  Shinrillustrator: who were actually a very nice couple and were looking forward to
  MachinaXCrayon: make their children fight for their own amusement.
  Regis Arttare: The child that won became the King of
- Altare's story about Bettel's League of Legends exploits. Bettel comments that his guildmates can read him like a book.
  Regis Arttare: Once upon a time, a jester was playing LoL
  Shinrillustrator: He was a Swain one trick. Absolutely mid at
  Gavin Bottel: League of Legends. His favorite game.
  ArtzoinTheHakktist: was the source of his inner depression.
  Dik'n'Bals: So he said "Just don't be depressed" and now he a happy dood
  MachinaXCrayon: Unfortunately, this caused massive emotional repression. :(
- Flayon’s story about Bettel wearing Phantom's flesh.
  MachinaXCrayon: Gavis Bettel forced to wear Phantom's flesh, he
  ArtzoinTheHakktist: decided to skin him alive and make a nice pair of gloves, he
  Shinrillustrator: took out a scapel and admired its sharpness. It's glint shin
  Regis Arttare: ed in the light as it easily sliced through the flesh of the
  Gavin Bottel: newborn baby.
  Dik'n'Bals: But he was another mans child...
- Axel's story about Bettel's casino exploits.
  Dik'n'Bals: Bettel lost all his money at the casino
  Regis Arttare: Bettel then decided to live out his life with the cows
  ArtzoinTheHakktist: Until he decided to kill them all and drink their blood
  MachinaXCrayon: He then went to the Bettel Cross, eager to donate his body
  Shinrillustrator: but it was turned away because the sugar in the girls scou
  Gavin Bottel: t cookies were too much for his tiny brain.
In the second round...
- Bettel's story about Shinri's temperament.
  Gavin Bottel: Shinri was a REALLY tough dude. He could fight anyone.
  Regis Arttare: Well, Shinri could fight almost anyone. Ex
  MachinaXCrayon: cept for his one fear, mannequins who were curvy /////
  ArtzoinTheHakktist: and had no head, oh the joy, the pleasure, the guilt.
  Dik'n'Bals: All his bros cried for him. We all got together at the PUB
  Shinrillustrator: had a pint and waited for it all to brew over. Cheers!!
- Shinri's story about Bettel's exploits, read in a cowboy voice on Flayon’s request.
  Shinrillustrator: Bettel was resting on a couch, drinking the 41st brisk when
  MachinaXCrayon: suddenly a giant "liquid" sucking insect attacked
  Dik'n'Bals: and to everyone's surprised, Bettel looked hella happy!!!
  Regis Arttare: Bettel was surprised that the maid outfit gift fit him!
  Gavin Bottel: He can finally serve the nyachos at the maid cafe.
  ArtzoinTheHakktist: It's a shame someone sprinkled broken glass on them, oh my.
  - After reading, the group points out how the liquid-sucking insect vanishes from the story after it's mentioned, leading Bettel to suggest that the insect was the one who delivered his maid outfit.
- Hakka's story about Shinri shooting things with his longbow.
  ArtzoinTheHakktist: Shinri tired of their bullshit, picked up his bow, and got
  Dik'n'Bals: shwifty in here, started shooting em arrows at the elderly
  Gavin Bottel: the elderly ran and screamed for their lives.
  MachinaXCrayon: Bettel pulled the trigger yet again. Killing everyone in TEM
  Shinrillustrator: when he woke up in a pool of brisk, just a nightmare
  Regis Arttare: things could be worse, like waking up in a pool of lipton
- Altare's story about his idea to the rest of his guildmates.
  Regis Arttare: One day at the guild hall, Altare was telling the boys about
  Gavin Bottel: how to get taller.
  Shinrillustrator: But a change of heart made him want too stay a short king and
  Dik'n'Bals: he decided to amputate himself, so he can stay short physica
  ArtzoinTheHakktist: lly, he after all had a dream and a promise he must keep.
  MachinaXCrayon: "idk die I guess "
- Flayon’s story about his son.
  MachinaXCrayon: Gavis Bettel left my son alone
  Shinrillustrator: but instead went to the pastures to go after my cattle, so i
  ArtzoinTheHakktist: stared at my hands, and started crying my eyes out.
  Gavin Bottel: How could I be so stupid. I am so dumb, I am a killer too.
  Regis Arttare: So he turned himself in to the police station, awaiting tria
  Dik'n'Bals: l but unfortunately, his lawyer slept in and he got arrested
- Axel's story about Bettel's morning routine.
  Dik'n'Bals': Bettel woke up and
  ArtzoinTheHakktist: stared himself at the mirror, tired eyes, cracked skin.
  Regis Arttare: He really regretted drinking last night with Magni. After,
  Shinrillustrator: he woke up and saw 20 missed calls from Axel in the discord.
  MachinaXCrayon: Quickly, he called Axel back, they started howling
  Gavin Bottel: They then ran off into the moonlight. Never to be seen again
  - Axel then proceeds to call the Bettel in the story a cheater for missing 20 of his calls to hang out with Magni, to Bettel's amused indignance.
In the third round...
- Bettel's story about Hakka's criminal life. Hakka's hysterical laughter as it sinks in that they wrote a Bettel/Hakka fanfiction sells it.
  Gavin Bottel: Hakka was a sick, vile, ROTTEN criminal.
  Shinrillustrator: Hakka was a bad boy and everyone loved him for it. He took a
  Dik'n'Bals: "hefty beating" from Bettel but they both enjoyed it very mu
  ArtzoinTheHakktist: ch, and started stare at each other's eyes, what a man he sa
  Regis Arttare: id, as they slowly leaned closer, lusting for the lips of th
  MachinaXCrayon: e lips of his lover. He immediately grabbed the thigh and I
- Shinri's story about the gang at the beach, read again in the Epic Voice Guy impression.
  Shinrillustrator: In an obligatory Tempus beach ep, the boys lost tempantsus
  ArtzoinTheHakktist: Due to the nature of the situation, they got sand all over t
  Gavin Bottel: the giant wooden replica of axel
  Regis Arttare: The wooden Axel suddenly burst into flames as
  MachinaXCrayon: the real Axel screamed in anguish. His tummy hurt
  Dik'n'Bals: after eating the 3 day old sushi (real story btw)
- Hakka's story about him hijacking Bettel's car.
  ArtzoinTheHakktist: Hakka decided to hijack the car Bettel just bought, but he
  Regis Arttare: realized that Bettel locked the door. So Hakka decided inste
  Shinrillustrator: ad to call his hakkitos, who came down and lifted him up
  MachinaXCrayon: They then swarmed around Hakka, pecking him to death.
  Dik'n'Bals: Bettel couldn't resist watching him get pecked by other and
  Gavin Bottel: became a goose and flew into the sun. Dying instantly.
- Altare's story about a man thoughts on watching Bettel's show.
  Regis Arttare: A man once watched Bettel's show, mildly perturbed with how
  MachinaXCrayon: he could live while malnourished. He then collected ha
  ArtzoinTheHakktist: ts, that he could sell online on the deep web, but he did'nt
  Dik'n'Bals: care, he ate it all and decided to kill everyone close to hi
  Gavin Bottel: him. "How could I do this. I killed them all. MY GOD."
  Shinrillustrator: I better have gotten a nice killstreak or something at leas
- Flayon’s story about Bettel cheating on someone.
  MachinaXCrayon: Gavis Bettel took the man's wife away. Ohhh dear
  Dik'n'Bals: not only does he cheat on his own partner, he be stealing ot
  Regis Arttare: of the cookie jar before lunchtime, a big no no. Shinri puni
  Gavin Bottel: punished, Flayon. Shooting an arrow through his brain.
  Shinrillustrator: He fell to his knees and screamed "IT'S NOT WORTH IT, DON'T
  ArtzoinTheHakktist: TRY TO MAKE IT MAKE IT SENSE, WHY HAKKA WHY. WHAT DID YOU DO
- Axel's story about Bettel being unable to control himself.
  Dik'n'Bals: Bettel couldn't hold himself in... he saw the succulent thi
  Gavin Bottel: ck, bowl of ice cream. He could not WAIT to eat it.
  MachinaXCrayon: Immediately, he shoved the ice cream in mouth. Ants insi
  Shinrillsustrator: sted of getting inside his mouth. He struggled against them
  ArtzoinTheHakktist: but at the end, he just had to give up, they were too strong
  Regis Arttare: and doped up on copium. A shame, he'll have to try next time

Jackbox Collab (Flayon's Birthday)

The gang plays Jackbox games to celebrate Flayon’s birthday. Their introductions have to be heard to be believed.
Altare: Hi, I'm Altare. Happy birthday, Flayon! I love you!
Dez: Uh, wassup everyone, Magni Dezmond here. I'm the star, see?
Shinri: Uh, koinicchiwa, Shinri here. Happy birthday, Flayon!
Bettel: Uh... me Bettel. Um... Bettel, uh, birthday Flayon happy.
Hakka: I'm fucking dying. Happy birthday, I'm Banzoin Hakka, the coolest and the cutest sickest exorcist of all Xenokuni. Wassup everybody?
Axel: Yo, good mornin', it's Axel, I'm the shit and happy birthday Flayon, happy birthday!
The gang plays a game Quiplash 3. Hilarity ensues. The winning answer for each prompt is italicized. In the first round:
- Dorothy meant to say, "There's no place like _____"
  Maglord (Dez): Aunt May as portrayed by Marisa Tomei
  El Hakko (Hakka): TEMPUS, where tax evasion is encouraged!
- What's the name of the Walmart aisle where you can go cry in peace?
  Bettel: Food
  Mr.Axel (Axel): The register LMAOOOOOOOOO
- If they made a candle of your life, it would smell like _____
  Shinri_ri_ (Shinri): The nasty burnt coffee from a gas station
  Flayon: Melted "candle" wax
- A pretty compelling reason to stop wiping your butt
  Aaaaaaaltare (Altare): Its gonna get dirty again anyways
  Maglord: Altare is there.
- If you want a bartender to hate you, just order _____
  El Hakko: Copium, hands up, bottles up, ah copium.
  Bettel: Drink with DRI
- The worst thing to step on with bare feet
  Mr.Axel: A stone fish probably
  Shinri_ri_: A nail. (that nail scene from Home Alone)
- Who knew police gave tickets for _____?
  Flayon: Bettel
  Aaaaaaaltare: Taylor Swift's new concert
  - Hakka finds out he's in the lead after the conclusion of the first round.
    Hakka: OH SHIT! I'M FUNNY! Hee hee hee!
In the second round:
- What's the most common email signature for scammers?
  Maglord: Best, Magni Dezmond
  Bettel: I'm very much real
- The most surprising thing in Batman's Google search history
  Bettel: Sexy parents in your area
  Shinri_ri_: What does it mean when he keeps joking with u
- It's easy to annoy MAGLORD. You just _____
  Shinri_ri_: Fill his glove cloak hands with mayonnaise
  Aaaaaaaltare: Hands up bottles up, ah copium
- A surprising thing that DOES impress Shania Twain much
  Aaaaaaaltare: Buying Machina X Flayon's bday merch :)
  El Hakko: Gavis Bettel
- Forget karaoke. The next viral series will be called Carpool _____
  El Hakko: Surprise prostate infection
  Mr.Axel: Charades
- You can't ski on that mountain!! It's called _____ for a reason!
  Mr.Axel: Dik'n'Bals
  Flayon: Mag-Ass
- The song choice that got you kicked out of karaoke night
  Flayon: Gummy Bear Song
  Maglord: "I'm going to kill everyone here"
In the third round:
- Three things that happened at the Monster Mash that they couldn't sing about
  Schmitty (AI player/narrator):
  It was more a bash than a Mash
  It was at the YMCA
  They were all very polite
  Bettel:
  NO ANSWER!
  (BETTEL can't be bothered.)
- The world would be better if we had less _____, _____, and _____
  Aaaaaaaltare:
  Di
  Ck
  Ballz
  Mr.Axel:
  Stupid rules with perms
  Shit
  I dunno
- The three things you demand of any lover
  Flayon:
  Thigh highs
  Domination (with consent)
  Kiss
  Shinri_ri_:
  At least a pulse
  Crushed hopes and dreams too
  Cuddles
- The three things standing between you and becoming president
  El Hakko:
  Cover Corp
  My crimes against humanity
  Banzoin Hakka
  Maglord:
  My Internet search history
  My genuine kindness
  My association with Altare
  - Hakka wins the game. Bettel fails to get any points in the final round.
The gang then plays Champ'd Up. Axel makes a quip.
Axel: Time to get a stream ban, let's go!
The winner for each prompt is italicized. In the first round:
- The champion of being out of touch
  Junior (#1 Machiroon/Hakka) vs. Cultare (Aaaaaaaltare/Altare)
- The champion of getting arrested
  Depressed Pete (Thighslover/Axel) vs. Gavis Bettel but hes a tank (Bettel)
- The champion of jammin' out
  Free membership for Machiroons (#1 Machiroon) vs. Machiroon (pervert) (Flayon)
- The champion of good lovin'
  Man (Aaaaaaaltare/Altare) vs. The exact opposite of a man (Maglord/Dez)
- The champion of popularity
  Mr. Guy (Bettel) vs. Mr. Balls (Thighslover)
- The champion of underwhelming
  Sadslime (Shinri_ri_/Shinri) vs. HQ^note (Maglord)
- The champion of cool
  PUNIKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (Shinri_ri_) vs. Phantom (flaccid) (Flayon)
In the second round:
- The champion of kicking butt and taking names/disappointing their partner
  Mr. Business (Aaaaaaaltare) vs. Magni Cheeks (dumpy) (Thighslover)
- The champion of dubstep/never getting past the first date
  You, but with the closest thing to red color (Shinri_ri_) vs. Magni Membership (full power) (Flayon)
- The champion of living under a bridge
  Axelotol ("hungry") (Flayon) vs. El Gladiador (#1 Machiroon)
  - The champion of undercover bosses^noteBoth tag out
    Phantom (flaccid) (Flayon) vs. Junior (#1 Machiroon)
- The champion of jam bands
  Normal sized human foot (Bettel) vs. Altare (actualized) (Maglord)
  - The champion of needing a shower^noteBoth tag out
    Gavis Bettel but hes a tank (Bettel) vs. The exact opposite of a man (Maglord)
- The champion of scary creatures
  Kuminhaler 2000 (Thighslover) vs. Spookums (Shinri_ri_)
  - The champion of tickle fights^noteShinri tags out
    Kuminhaler 2000 (Thighslover) vs. PUNIKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (Shinri_ri_)
- The champion of the Barn Dance
  Burger Royalty (#1 Machiroon) vs. Discow (Aaaaaaaltare)
  - The champion of evading the government^noteAltare tags out
    Burger Royalty (#1 Machiroon) vs. Man (Aaaaaaaltare)
- The champion of party cruises
  The Same Boat^note (Maglord) vs. Boattel (Bettel)
  - The champion of multiple pending lawsuits^noteDez tags out
    HQ (Maglord) vs. Boattel (Bettel)
  - Bettel later admits he wouldn't even vote for himself. Dez wins the game. The gang suggest to Dez to cover the ending song of Champ'd Up.
The gang plays Mad Verse City. The gang mald at their raps and the game not accepting what they wrote due to their lack of understanding of the game. The winner for each battle is italicized. In the first round:
- DJ Maggin (Dez) vs. E-Mid-Nem (Axel)
  E-Mid-Nem:
  Don't look now: I stole your prawn.
  But I digress. How's work going?
  I'm known from here to house.
  Because Magni stole her spouse
  DJ Maggin:
  I gotta slow down I'm getting too thiccums.
  Looking like a popsicle and Im gonna lickem
  My future's as bright as a burning piece of Flayon's bday merch.
  Machiroons screaming take me to church!
- Flayon vs. Shinri_ri_ (Shinri)
  Shinri_ri_:
  I've learned the ancient secrets of the crowd.
  When Machiroons see you they're proud
  I'm the greatest as you can all flying.
  Enjoy the birthday straight up vibin'
  Flayon:
  The one thing I love more than rhyming is martyrs.
  Abandon humans sign me up with a ghost baddie charter
  Don't need permission to rock this brick(ed) house.
  Word.
- Gene (AI player) vs. MC SPRMO (Hakka)
  MC SPRMO:
  My rhymes are so sweet they're covered in silly Magmites.
  Yeah uh Hakkito number one yah yah yah yah
  When I'm at the mic no telling what I'll sexy.
  Sometimes with these beats uh I'm feeling kinda flexy
  Gene:
  If my rhymes were food they'd be chili mac.
  But don't eat too much or you'll get a heart attack.
  I got a big heart my rhymes are full of terrors.
  I got a dictionary so I got no spelling erors.
- Bettel vs. Raptare (Altare)
  Raptare:
  Check out my grill all studded with diamonds
  Make a joke of you later dude bye man
  Gettin' stuff done like a total dummy.
  You might be a jester but you ain't really funny
  Bettel:
  I'm a killer with a heart of dogs.
  Frogs
  I'm giant but gentle I wouldn't hurt a snake.
  Buttocks buttocks buttocks buttocks buttocks
  - Altare makes fun of Bettel's rap.
    Altare: That was really good, man! I think you beat me.
    Bettel: Take your fuckin' money.
In the second round:
- Flayon vs. Gene
  Flayon:
  A rhyme for a rhyme all you're giving is mannequins.
  Your rhymes are so trash you got me panickin'
  Better go home before you develop a Magni brian rot
  Got no self control in sight cant shoot no shot
  Gene:
  If I had money I wouldn't buy you a condo.
  Condo's have super expensive associated fees.
  I hear you like to spar with my sister.
  I'm mostly disturbed you two play Twister.
- Bettel vs. E-Mid-Nem
  E-Mid-Nem:
  My game is rhymes your game is brain.
  Cuz you aint got none you full of kumstain
  Lighting you up like it's trip to Bali.
  Here's looking at you robot.
  Bettel:
  Me and my crew we call ourselves the cows.
  Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
  I'm here entertaining. You're out here moooooving.
  Anybody want a peanut?
- Raptare vs. MC SPRMO
  MC SPRMO:
  I'll eat you for breakfast with my crusty ass demon lord.
  English is not my first language wtf is a verb
  Your rhymes are so weak they can't lift a squishy slime.
  But after Im done with you they gonna be all mine yuh
  Raptare:
  You feel those nerves inside your peepee?
  Why did it say that but yours is kinda teeny
  To reach the next level u gotta b rich.
  Cant keep peckin for scraps do you see bish?
- DJ Maggin vs. Shinri_ri_
  Shinri_ri_:
  Your flow's a disaster like a category 5 solar eclipse.
  Many words you're spittin' but nah they miss
  Only one can survive that means you get pounced.
  I'll win this round with my personality.
  DJ Maggin:
  Your hands are shaking vision's gettin' Bettel-esque.
  Im gonna squash you like a pest
  You're the flyswatter I'm the sperm whale.
  After this you wont live to tell the tale
In the third round...
- E-Mid-Nem vs. Gene
  Gene:
  Mess with me you'll get my foot in your polyp.
  Don't laugh. My kicks pack a wallop.
  You get less hype than the grand opening of a Olive Garden.
  You don't like flowers? I beg your pardon?
  E-Mid-Nem:
  You make me laugh. You're just like a your mom.
  The only difference is I make her come :)
  Pluggin' my nose cuz you smell like pee.
  Now its time to get on your knees (unzips pants)
  - Flayon and the gang boo Gene throughout his rap.
- MC SPRMO vs. Bettel
  Bettel:
  It's hard not to choke when your rhymes are bowling ball.
  And my M C name is D J Downvote.
  Your mama's so dumb she says 'rap' rhymes with orange.
  Idiot
  MC SPRMO:
  Your game is weak. It couldn't hurt a silly little clown.
  With my Hakkitos yuh we gonna make you run out of town
  I'd usually expect to find you in a Xenokuni.
  But tbh kinda expected from you freaking looney!!! Yuh yuh
- Flayon vs. Shinri_ri_
  Shinri_ri_:
  I'm sorry to hear all you brought is rubbish.
  Who'll be standing victorious? This fish
  Dropping the mic cuz your hands are too stinky.
  Might be older still shorter than my pinkie
  Flayon:
  If you think you'll win you're straight-up horny.
  Seen your Twitter likes ur kinda corny
  You're a beastly bear I'm an elegant opossum.
  Trust me Im gonna take everything you love make it blossom
- DJ Maggin vs. Raptare
  Raptare:
  I'm talkin' now so listen up King.
  Ill show you how to rap teach you a thing
  Try and hold me down I'm still streaming.
  They call me rap monster the real deal demon
  DJ Maggin:
  Just put on your coat and run to the Momtare's bedroom.
  Better call the cleaners Im about to coom
  You should be ashamed. You rhyme so shrimpy.
  Pull your pants down and you looking a little limpy
  - Dez wins the game.
The gang then plays Trivia Murder Party. Various highlights of the game include:
- Flayon sets up the game with the game nearly leaking out the room code. Flayon mutes the game just in time.
  Game voice: The room code is- (gets muted by Flay)
  Flayon: NOOOOOOOOO!
  Everyone else: (bursts into laughter)
- Hakka's hatred of The Fast and the Furious franchise.
  Hakka: Ugh. The shi- the shittiest movies of all fucking time, Jesus Christ! I hate The Fast & Furious, dude.
- Dez's questioning about the amount of movies in the Fast & Furious series.
  Dez: There's- "first seven"? There the second seven?! How many are the-
- Planet jokes.
  Announcer: Which of these planets is the farthest away from the Sun?
  Flayon: (under his breath) Uranus... (giggles)
  Hakka, Bettel, Flayon, Altare: (burst out laughing)
  Shinri: Oh my God...
- Hakka is appalled at the gang's lack of knowledge on Taylor Swift songs.
  Hakka: You guys are fake Swifties, bro!
  Shinri: I never claimed to be a Swiftie!
- Hakka and Altare play Pegs in the killing room. Hakka drops his token and instantly wins. Altare is less than pleased.
  Altare: WHAT IS THAT?!
- More jokes.
  Hakka: I know how much an inch is, don't worry.
  Flayon: How much is it?
  Hakka: Look down.
- Bettel goes to the Killing Room... and finds out he has to do Math.
  Bettel: NOOOOOOOOO!
- Everyone else does better than Bettel in the Math game, killing him.^note
  Announcer: Wow! This ended with you to the power of dead!
  Bettel: Great.
  Dez: Everyone beat you?
  Everyone else: (bursts out laughing)
  Bettel: Just like in fuckin' high school. That's humiliating.
- Dez's comments about the Math game.
  Dez: Dude, Kumon finally coming in clutch.
- Bettel's bomb gets transferred to Hakka. He makes the most of the situation.
  Bettel: Enjoy your nine seconds on Earth, buddy.
  Hakka: I last longer than that, baby.
  Flayon: (laughs) Shut the fuck up!
- The question to escape the Murder Hotel? Locations in Game of Thrones. Altare malds at the question.
  Altare: I've never watched Game of Thrones!
- He gets it right anyway and wins the game, to the anguish of the chat.
  Altare: YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
The gang plays Quiplash 3 again. The winning answer for each prompt is italicized.
- Name the sequel to Cats. Cats 2: _____
  Flayon: In Heat
  Magneechan (Dez): The Nyapocolypse
- An unlikely spokesperson for vaping
  Shinri_ri_ (Shinri): Uh... idk, Altare I guess? :(
  Loltare (Altare): Axel Syrios
- The worst inspirational sign to see while running a marathon
  Axelsweeeeep (Axel): McDonalds 10 minutes away!!!
  Bettel: God is dead. You aren't. Keep running.
- The best marketing slogan for your butt
  Ur mom (Hakka): A good time for all the family :)
  Flayon: It's not the Twin Peaks, it's the Twin Cheeks
- Honestly, you can never have too many _____
  Magneechan: Flayon birthday merch sets
  Shinri_ri_: Magmites stuffed up your b
- A celebrity BETTEL looks like, if you squint a little
  Loltare: Channing Tatum
  Axelsweeeeep: Hisoka
- Hard to believe but Madame Tussauds now has a wax statue of _____
  Bettel: D
  Ur mom: Gavis Bettel
Preparation for the second round starts. Axel is asked to write a political slogan, much to his chagrin.
Axel: It's making me write a political slogan! Shit! I dunno, man... I'm just gonna write some random shit instead.
Round 2 actually starts:
- What actually happens to that uneaten half of a donut in the office break room?
  Flayon: You shoved it back in your mouth, bacteria :)
  Shinri_ri_: Magni takes it to his lab to stuff it again
- An underwhelming political slogan from a centrist candidate
  Shinri_ri_: Vote for me, you'll be like meh okay I guess.
  Axelsweeeeep: Cum in da hoe and nigerundayoooo^note"Run away"
- What did Goldilocks say when she took her date home?
  Axelsweeeeep: Lemme take a shit first
  Ur mom: Papa Bear can join if you feel a bit cold
- SHINRI_RI_ would never hurt a fly, but they would hurt _____
  Ur mom: Every single mother in a 60 feet radius
  Magneechan: My prostate hnngh
- The title of MAGNEECHAN's MasterClass series
  Magneechan: "No, you can't play that."
  Loltare: Twerkology: The Thiccening
- The quickest way to get fired from Olive Garden
  Loltare: Make a Vtuber representative
  Bettel: Killing all the people
- The world's most compassionate exterminator removes bugs by _____
  Bettel: Seduction
  Flayon: Coom
  - Bettel has an opinion on Flayon’s answer.
    Bettel: We said the same thing but yours was lewd. How did I win?!
  - Altare takes the lead from Flayon.
The final round begins:
- Three distracting things to yell as someone tries to hit a golf ball
  Flayon:
  Swing harder daddy
  Please just a little more
  Right there
  Schmitty (AI player/narrator):
  Kissie, kissie!
  Ah, robots!
  Why don't you love me?
- The three best things the internet hath given to us
  Magneechan:
  Big Chungus
  Overwatch SFM animations^noteSource Filmmaker
  Machina X Flayon
  Axelsweeeeep:
  Vtubers
  The Hub
  Hot single Magnis in your area
- Three signs that you're slowly becoming your parents
  Bettel:
  Depression
  Depression
  Depression
  Ur mom:
  Repressed trauma
  Using the oven to store pots
  Collecting chihuahuas
- Three reasons you ain't getting into heaven
  Shinri_ri_:
  The body was like that when I
  got here I swear I was only lo
  oking for the toilet when I lo
  Loltare:
  I
  killed
  people :)
  - Flayon wins the game to end off the stream.
Hakka's last comment to end off the stream.
Hakka: Buy Flayon's merch! Immediately as soon as it gets released! If you don't buy it I'm going to be really sad and going to just leave the- (leaves Discord call)

TEMPUS Week

Kicking off Tempus Week is The Great Tempus Heist, where the Tempus guild, as commanded by Snailtare, is tasked with answering questions about themselves to snag the Aesthetic Shiny Stone (A.S.S.) and aim to become the Best Investigative Gentleman, Professional Pilferer (B.I.G.P.P.).
- Right after they choose their code names, they are tasked with picking their route of infiltraiton.
  Shinri: I, Stickyfingers McTwoshins, propose we enter through the back door to get the ASS.
- One of the "traps" is an arithmetic trap, where the Tempus boys have to quickly answer simple math equations or risk losing points for a wrong answer. Snailtare asks Axel the memetic "what's 9 + 10?" and Axel nearly responds with "21" before catching himself and giving the right answer.
- Once they get to the ASS, they have to work out how to get it out. All their suggestions involve turning the ASS pointy-side-up and getting Bettel to sit on it, or storing it in Bettel somehow with the help of cartoon physics.
- After a successful heist, Snailtare prepares to deliver some major news: He's not a snail... he's a stickbug!
- The boys are then picked off one-by-one via gunshot until the highest-scoring one remains to claim his prize of BIGPP.
  - Axel's last words is to ask to take a shit in peace, but that request wasn't honored.
  - Shinri chooses to go out while performing a Diving Save for Flayon, and Hakka grieves his death so hard his mic peaks.
  - Flayon gets waterboarded before getting shot.
  - Bettel tries to bargain his way out when Hakka's model glitches off, but once Hakka comes back on, both Altare and Hakka shoot him multiple times.

TEMPUS Animations

ALTARE'S SWEEP sees everyone working to clean up the guild hall.
- Altare and Magni are tidying up the trading card collection, and when they think they've gotten everything, they check the cupboard for more. Cue Exploding Closet with unfitting classical music.
- Bettel's being freaked out by one of the store rooms until Shinri helps him investigate. He discovers it's Phantom, and while he's cuddling the little guy, Phantom wordlessly threatens Shinri. Cut forward to the ending and Shinri's fleeing a Phantom-controlled Bettel.
TEMPUS IS BROKE is a Broke Episode that has each of the boys of Tempus come up with a different idea for making money.
- Bettel's segment is in the style of an infomercial where he tries to sell the viewer a different way to eat cereal without using your bare hands. He introduces "hand shovels", only to be told by Phantom that they already exist and are called spoons.
- Dez's idea is to have each member pay a membership fee, recruit two members underneath them, and so on. It's a Ponzi scheme.
- Hakka's plan is to cultivate self-combusting chickens which just explode into a perfectly cooked meal.
- Vesper's plan is to market a wristwatch that allegedly detects paranormal activity (while showing Minase Rio in the closet) but all it really does is beep once in a while.
- Shinri feels the rest of TEMPUS is trying too hard with complicated schemes and instead prefers to do a bake sale with themed snacks.
- Axel also feels that the rest of TEMPUS is trying too hard with complicated schemes. So he suggests they rob a bank.
- Altare's idea is to marry a wealthy partner and slowly siphon away all their money from them. His narration gets increasingly unhinged as he gets to the grim details.
- Flayon points out the guild doesn't make any money doing monster hunting while Vesper and Bettel fight a giant Magmite in the background, so he plans to turn the guild into a Host club.
THE BEACH EPISODE is Exactly What It Says on the Tin, complete with misadventures.
- The bag packing is depicted as a Big Ball of Violence, with Vesper ferrying the guild with only a wagon and a bicycle.
- Altare and Axel go diving, only to have a run-in with a shark. A completely docile shark. They still flee.
- Flayon and Shinri go surfing, and apparently aircraft piloting carries over into surfboard control. Shinri completely doubts it, and just keeps staring at Flayon with the Confused Math overlay over himself. Flayon gets spooked by the shark too, jumping onto Shinri, and making both of them fall off the board.
- Magni and Bettel are sunbathing, but Bettel is in his usual clothes. And yes, Bettel admits he is indeed insane for not bringing beach wear, and quickly overheats.
- Hakka kicks the volleyball instead of properly spiking it, and hits another beachgoer.
- Hakka builds a little sandcastle, but it's puny compared to Vesper's comically elaborate one.
- The day ends with some campfire cooking, but Axel gets impatient and sticks his hotdog directly in the flames, incinerating it. He lies to Vesper and claims a crab took his hotdog, which gets Vesper excited, because he wants to find and roast it.
- The guild all goes to sleep...and forget about Hakka, who's buried in the sand as the tide comes in.
TRAINING ARC sees the whole guild work out to improve themselves.
- Flayon's marksmanship is so poor that he can't land a single hit, and he ends up calling R-TRUS to handle everything.
- Shinri tries teaching Vesper archery, which Vesper aces without breaking a sweat. Being shown up so easily causes Shinri to lose his cool.
- While Magni and Bettel are ineffectually trying to beat a mannequin, Axel and Hakka are tearing it up... in their animal forms.
- At the very end Altare embarks on Magni's obstacle course, wanting to show the world the fruits of their training, only to get unceremoniously punched into a wall.

Two Truths, One Lie ARMIS stream

The very first ARMIS collab stream after their debuts proved just how solid the group is with each other, and also how they could nearly break the sound barrier with their volume.
- Ruze doesn't have his jacket on due to how sweaty he was after just coming off his debut, leading Jurard to coin the term "post-Debut musk".
- Jurard became very concerned about ARMIS' credibility as "evil" bounty hunters after watching Octavio's streams.
  Jurard: I was kinda sad a little bit because you know, Octavio's debut made me feel like, "NO NO, DON'T BE CUTE, DON'T... HOW THE FUCK ARE THEY GONNA TREAT US AS BADASSES IF WE'RE FUCKING CUTE?! NO!!!"
  Octavio: I was so scary!
  Jurard: Dude, no!
  Goldbullet (GB): You weren't scary.
  Jurard: Dude, you're fucking adorable! How the fuck are we gonna be treated as equals, as badasses, if we're so cute??
  Octavio: You're telling a lie right now. Is that your lie? I'm calling out your lie!
- Ruze doesn't escape the cuteness accusations either.
  Jurard: Damnit, we're adorable. Goddamnit, fuck you Octavio.
  Ruze: "We?" What do you mean, "we"? Speak for yourself—
  Jurard: DUDE YOU WERE CUTE, YOU WERE HOLDING A CRAYON FOR FUCK'S SAKE!! YOU WERE HOLDING A FUCKING CRAYON!!
  GB: You are adorable! The way you were gripping the crayon too–
  Jurard: Dude, no one's gonna take your crayon away from you.
  Ruze: THAT'S HOW I DRAW! I DRAW LIKE A BIG STRONG MAN! I'M SCARY!
- Goldbullet is complimented on his assassination of Freddy the fruit fly during his debut (except by Octavio who doesn't forgive him for that), mostly because of the delay between taking the shot and the explosion. GB tries to deny that was due to scuff.
- Goldbullet is the first person up for "Two Truths, One Lie". When asked to introduce himself by Jurard, he immediately asks if he can go home because he's hungry, much to Jurard's dismay.
- For Octavio's turn, everyone guesses that his lie is that he's noted out of a public toilet before, only for everyone to be wrong. Even the public-toilet-lover has his limits.
- Ruze also wins his round because the others picked every other option except for the answer, which is "[he] has voice acted in a video game".
- Near the end of the stream, Octavio would end up behind the other boys. Being the shortest of the bunch, he couldn’t be seen and had to tip-toe behind them or grab onto their shoulders. Jurard would tease him further by enlarging himself to take up the whole screen while Octavio tries to come into view again. He ends up being taller than any of them when he gets a stool to stand on…only to trip and fall off. Don’t worry; he gets right back up.

Monster Hunter: Rise ARMIS Collab

The ARMIS gang cap off their first week with some Monster Hunter: Rise.
- The entire fight with the Khezu goes off-the-rails the moment Jurard first lays his eyes upon the beast:
  Jurard: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT... EW, IT LOOKS LIKE A DICK!
  - The rest of the fight has everyone except for Ruze making way so many dick jokes that it's a miracle the VOD is still up.
  - Ruze gets so fed up with the other boys' antics that he mutes all three of them while apologizing to chat. He only unmutes the others after threatening them with Shikimane and telling them to behave.
  Ruze: Sorry guys, I handled it, don't worry, you can't hear them anymore. It's okay stream, you're fine. It's okay now, you're safe from them, I got you guys. (to the boys) Are you ready to be normal? No, I don't give a shit, it's not your channel!
  Ruze: (after unmuting the others) I should not be the voice of reason in this room, what's wrong with you?!
- Goldbullet becoming a loot goblin.

Hakka's Interviews

Carrying on Vesper's interview mantle, Hakka interviews the members of ARMIS to get to know them better.

Jurard reveals that the glass of milk with the three tankards in the tavern teaser art was his, when the viewers assumed it was Octavio's. He suggested the milk glass as a Lactose over Liquor joke, but didn't expect they'd actually go with it.

Party Animals collab

The first full collab between the TEMPUS and ARMIS branches is a game of Party Animals! To start off the stream, the various members of TEMPUS and ARMIS ululate and chant various battle cries.
- The members are so incredibly loud that nobody can hear each other. Octavio lampshades this.
  Octavio: The whole town be trying to hear Shinri!
Bettel starts off the stream proper before segueing to some issues he had with the stream, such as audio levels. He admits not having tested them prior to starting the stream.
Bettel asks if the other members have played Party Animals before; Goldbullet mentions he had played "a wee little bit". Hakka mishears "wee" as "Wii".
Hakka: You played the Wii version?
- Segueing into a conversation about the Wii and Wii U, Ruze lampshades the failure of the latter system.
  Ruze: You guys have a Wii U? I thought I owned one of the only two copies in the world.
The gang panics when an AFK kick notice is shown on the screen and immediately starts the game.
Having forgotten to do their introductions during the beginning while they were in the lobby, Octavio recommends that the gang do their introductions later; Flayon and Hakka shoot down this idea, instead telling them to introduce themselves while the game loads. Shinri introduces himself while the ARMIS guys talk among themselves:
Shinri: Koinnichiwa, my name is Josuiji Shinri, it's really loud, oh my God.
Hakka picks Coco the Crocodile as his character and does his introduction in rapid fire fashion.
Hakka: God, I look so fuckin' hot! Itsbanzoinhakkathecoolestandthecutestexorcistofallxenokuni! I'm really cool as hell!
- Bettel picks Lloyd the Goose while Jurard picks Curtis the Dinosaur, not knowing how to describe him.
  Jurard: I'm choosing this red... orange... black... I dunno. Iguana.
- Shinri picks Otta the Otter, with Hakka commenting it "fits him".
The gang enters a round of Fluffy Redemption. Goldbullet makes a proclamation and the game begins:
Goldbullet: I hope y'all know how to play this shit...
- Bettel attempts to bring coal to the train but falls off, gets run over the train and dies.
- A well-timed bomb is thrown by Jurard towards the other train, knocking Hakka, Ruze and Bettel out.
- Chaos ensues on TEMPUS's train, with some of the ARMIS members having jumped over to disrupt the TEMPUS boys. While Bettel attempts to rally the boys, Goldbullet knocks Hakka and Flayon off the train in quick succession. An ensuing tussle between Shinri, Goldbullet and Ruze unwittingly knocks Bettel out; Goldbullet capitalizes on the situation by throwing an incapacitated Bettel off, with Bettel proclaiming in exasperation that nobody on his team knows how to play the game.
  Bettel: Fucking Chr- no one knows how to play! No one on my team knows how to play! IS ANYONE USING A CONTROLLER ON THAT TEAM?!
- Ruze and Goldbullet, still on the TEMPUS train, grief Bettel as he is carrying coal to the train by double-teaming him, with Ruze incapacitating him and Goldbullet throwing him off. Again.
- Hakka makes a comment about the game.
  Hakka: Dude! This is literally Gang Beasts but like wobblier!
- Bettel attempts to cross over to the ARMIS train but falls in between two boxcars. He attempts to scale the side of the boxcars but jumps at the wrong time, falls onto the rails and dies.
- Ruze terrorizes the TEMPUS gang with a pair of nunchucks when Goldbullet dropkicks him, knocking him out; a flying Ruze actually manages to hit Bettel, knocking him out too! In the background, Flayon falls off the train.
  - Ruze gets back up shortly after, continuing his reign of terror; Bettel gets back up but is hit by Ruze's nunchucks twice in quick succession, flinging him off the train.
    Goldbullet: Ruze, you're a fucking nightmare, oh my God!
- Ruze's reign of terror with his nunchucks causes Collateral Damage to Goldbullet, knocking him off the train into a boxcar, killing him.
- Hakka and Bettel hang onto the side of a boxcar. Goldbullet decides to join in; they all slip off the train and die.
  Hakka: Let me go, Bettel!
  (cacophony of voices)
  Goldbullet: C'mere! C'mere! You fucker! Let go of Hakka!
  Bettel: I'll never let go!
- Hakka and Bettel do a "slow dance" on the train. Flayon interrupts to break up the dance, knocking Bettel out in the process.
  Flayon: FUCKING HATE COUPLES!
- With no hope of winning, Bettel gets back up and knocks Flayon out. He grabs him and catapults both of them off the train, much to Flayon's bewilderment. ARMIS wins.
  Flayon: Bettel, what the fuck?!
- Hakka claims that ARMIS won over TEMPUS "because they didn't know what the fuck was going on". Thus commences the post-game photo shoot, where the winners try and get into frame by pushing themselves out of the way. The result? The only member of the winning team looking at the camera was Jurard, while Shinri and Bettel were in the back just looking at the camera in deadpan fashion.
The gang decides to play Beast Soccer. Octavio talks about his bad connectivity issues; Flayon calls him out for it.
Flayon: You are a bunny, Octopus...
The gang only just remembers to introduce themselves, deciding to do so following the order in Discord's sideba while choosing their characters. Hakka introduces himself again. Flayon has some choice words for each of the following introductions.
Hakka: Thenamesbanzoinhakkathecoolestandthecutestexorcistofallxenokuni! I'm literally a cool lizard; I'm Vector the Crocodile from Sonic Heroes.
Goldbullet: Nice.
Flayon: I hated him!
Hakka: Shut the fuck up! You know nothing!
- Bettel is next to introduce himself...
  Bettel: Hey guys, Gavis Bettel, uh... loud.
  Flayon: FUCK YEAH!
- Followed by Ruze...
  Ruze: Hi, I'm Crimzon Ruze, Elysium's greatest monster hunter and your least favorite idol.
  Flayon: YOU'RE MY FAVORITE! (claps)
  Ruze: Ew!
- And Goldbullet...
  Goldbullet: Hi, my name is Goldbullet, CQC expert, weapon specialist and head sniper of ARMIS. Let's go!
  Flayon: Gibby.
Hakka changes his character to Bruce the Shark, saying "he looks cool". The game then starts and chaos ensues.
- Bettel, now playing as Uni the Unicorn, knocks Octavio out using the soccer ball, sending him flying and the ball towards the goal. Ruze begins to panic.
  Ruze: WAIT! THAT'S OUR GOAL! THAT'S OUR GOAL! DON'T FUCKIN'-
- Ruze attempts to kick the ball but tackles Octavio instead, knocking him out.
- Hakka complains about his in-game skills.
  Hakka: I'M SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD AT THIS GAME! IT'S IN MY BLOOD!
- Bettel scores the first goal of the game, putting the score at 0-1. Jurard is not pleased.
  Jurard: FUCK YOU, BETTEL!
  - On seeing the replay, Hakka does some soccer commentary.
    Hakka: Yo, look- Yo, look! Holy shit! God damn! Cristiano Ronaldo who?!
- The second ball is in play. Bettel knocks out Flayon by accident.
  Bettel: I punched Flayon! Sorry!
- Chaos ensues when virtually all TEMPUS and ARMIS members get into a fistfight over the ball, with Jurard, Ruze and Flayon getting knocked out in the ensuing mêlée.
- Flayon lampshades the ensuing chaos.
  Flayon: Good luck subtitling this...
- Goldbullet headbutts the ball into the goal, making the score 1-1. Bettel and Hakka cry foul.
  Bettel: You've gotta be fucking kidding me.
  Hakka: NO! THAT'S BULLSHIT! THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT!
- Shortly after kickoff, chaos ensues again with a tussle for the ball. The ball just so happens to roll towards the TEMPUS goal, with the ARMIS gang pushing the ball in to score another goal; the score is now 2-1 with ARMIS taking the lead.
- ARMIS nearly scores another goal but the ball just manages to miss getting into the goal; Bettel kicks the ball back out, with Goldbullet crying foul.
  Goldbullet: Yo, that was bullshit!
  - A series of passes lead to Octavio kicking the ball into the goal, winning the game for ARMIS. Bettel cries foul.
    Bettel: FUCKING HIT THE FUCKING BALL! WHERE'S FLAYON?!
- The second photoshoot is just as chaotic as the first, with the winners and the others wrestling for prime real estate in the photo. The result is a photo with Octavio and Flayon looking as if they are being kidnapped by the others.
Post-Beast Soccer, Hakka continues to compare Bettel to Cristiano Ronaldo.
Hakka: Dude, the fuckin' Bettel carry though in the first minute? That was so fucking sick.
Bettel: Dude, I'm fuckin' sweatin' my ass off!
Jurard: Dude was fucking scoring!
Hakka: Fucking Cristiano Ronaldo, dude! Goddamn!
Octavio asks Jurard to introduce himself.
Octavio: Jurard, introduce yourself!
Jurard: Oh, I'm Jurard T. Rexford.
Bettel: Yeah, we figured that out.
- Flayon and the others ask Jurard important questions.
  Flayon: What's your blood type?
  Jurard: We don't talk about that.
  [...]
  Ruze: What's your social security score?
  Jurard: We don't talk about that.
  [...]
  Hakka: What's your credit score?
  [...]
  Flayon: What's your horoscope?
  [...]
  Hakka: Just out of curiosity, what times are you home alone?
  Jurard: I don't feel safe about these questions!
While loading into a Last Stand match on Typhoon, Octavio introduces himself.
Octavio: I'm Octavio! I'm just a guy!
The match starts:
- Some of the guys get launched into the sky via a missile silo.
- Goldbullet, now playing as Barbie the Gorilla, knocks Bettel (now Hammer the Hammerhead Shark) out and throws him into the water.
- Bettel knocks Flayon into a missile silo as it closes, causing him to get crushed.
- As Bettel scales the submarine's tower, Goldbullet knocks him out, only for Bettel to recover and knock Goldbullet off the submarine into the water, leaving him to die.
  - Turns out that as Bettel is on the submarine tower, Goldbullet is seen holding on for dear life to the rear end of the submarine. He climbs the submarine's radar while Goldbullet, left with nothing to hold onto, drowns, gifting Bettel's team a point.
- Bettel knocks Goldbullet into the water as the latter is trying to consume canned spinach. As they climb back up, Ruze, Jurard and Hakka are blown off the submarine by a launching missile.
- Having been thrown into the water by Goldbullet and drowning, Bettel resorts to griefing the others. He sees Goldbullet smacking Octavio (his teammate) with a tennis racket.
  Octavio: GB! WHYYYYY?! We're teammates, GB! [...] We're teammates! WE'RE TEAMMATES! WE'RE TEAMMAAAAATES! (increasingly frantic and hysterical quivering in voice)
  Goldbullet: OH WHAT YOU'RE ON MY TEAM!
  Octavio: Stop it!
- Ruze throws a fish at Goldbullet, narrowly scraping him.
  Goldbullet: Yo, who threw that fish? Who the fuck threw that fish?!
- A three-way tussle emerges with Flayon, Goldbullet and Octavio on the submerging submarine. As they frantically try not to drown, Bettel throws a fish, clocking Goldbullet in the head, causing all three onboard to float away.
  Goldbullet: WHO THREW THAT FISH?!
  - Somehow, Goldbullet and Octavio win that round, to everyone's bewilderment.
- Ruze dropkicks Bettel, causing him to fall into the ocean and drown. He is the first to die.
- Goldbullet continues his streak of getting clocked in the head by a fish as he gets hit by one while trying to scale the submarine's tower.
  Goldbullet: Don't you fucking throw that fish. You better not throw that fish.
  (proceeds to get hit by a fish)
  Goldbullet: Who the fuck did that? WHO THE FUCK DID THAT?! I told you not to throw that!
- Bettel launches into a rant.
  Bettel: I can't fucking take it! I'M GONNA FUCKIN' LOSE MY MIND! (incomprehensible blabbering) I CAN'T DO THIIIIS!
  (ding!)
  Bettel: (sighs)
- After climbing onto the top of the submarine tower, Bettel gets hit by a fish, knocking him off the tower.
  Bettel: Ow! What the f-
  - Having fallen off the tower, Bettel recovers only to get dropkicked by Octavio the second he recovers.
    Bettel: Who the fuck is already dead throwing fish at people?!
- Hakka cries for help. Nothing comes and he drowns.
  Hakka: Bettel, help! Bettel! Bettelllllllll... (drowning noises)
  Bettel: Oh, he's drowning.
- Bettel climbs to the top of the submarine tower only to get knocked out by Ruze.
  - Bettel manages to climb onto the submarine's tail, noticing a drowning Jurard floating towards him. He opts to drop Jurard with a punch, sealing his fate before drowning himself.
    Jurard: FUCK YOU, BETTEL!
- As Ruze, Shinri and Octavio try to climb the submarine's navigation equipment, Shinri gets inadvertently hit by a fish thrown by Hakka. Hakka claims in defense that he was aiming at Ruze.
  Shinri: OH WHAT, A FISH?! Where did that fish come from?! Are you serious...
- Ruze and Octavio float away, next to each other and at the same speed. All wonder who win... before it is discovered that Ruze and Jurard won.
  Goldbullet: DAMN!
- Goldbullet spots a frying pan.
  Goldbullet: Is that a fucking frying pan? That's a fuckin' frying pan, baby.
- Bettel attempts to pick up a tennis racket.
- Bettel punches Octavio with such strength that he flies into the ocean.
- Goldbullet tries to use a freeze gun on Bettel before being punched into the ocean by Bettel.
- Shinri gets trapped in the missile silo and dies.
- Bettel gets hit by a fish while scaling the submarine's tower. He dies by drowning after attempting to scale the submarine's tail.
  Bettel: You're throwing fuckin' fish and you get- (gets hit by fish)
- Yet another chaoting photoshoot ensues, with the winners wrangling for prime real estate in the photo. The result is Jurard and Goldbullet looking goofily into the camera while Bettel stares blankly in the background. Jurard decides to save the photo.
The gang decides to play Final Destination. Goldbullet notices Morse the Moose while selecting characters and selects him.
Goldbullet: Is that a moose? Oh it is a moose! (laughs)
Hakka reselects Coco the Crocodile, saying he is "going back to his roots".
The match starts on the Arcade game mode:
- Not even a second into the match, Goldbullet socks Bettel and attempts to drag him onto the subway tracks; Bettel recovers just in time.
- Ruze swings an inflatable hammer at Bettel, causing him to fly and smack against a station pillar.
- Attempting to dropkick Ruze, Bettel flies onto the subway tracks. He fails to get p in time and gets hit by an oncoming subway, killing him.
- Bettel and Flayon double-team Jurard and throw him onto the subway tracks. With Shinri telling them to keep him down on the tracks, Bettel does exactly that... by inadvertently falling onto the tracks just as the subway is about to arrive.
  Bettel: Fucking goddammit...
- Octavio catapults himself onto the tracks while trying to dropkick Shinri.
- Flayon assists Shinri by punching Ruze onto the tracks. Shinri restrains both him and an escaping Octavio, causing them to all get hit by the subway and die.
  Shinri: I'm taking both of you! Ah hah hah hah hah hah!
- With the score at 5-5, Bettel clocks Jurard and throws him on the subway tracks. Shortly after he recovers, he, Hakka and Bettel get into a mêlée; Jurard somersault kicks Bettel onto the tracks, hauling Hakka onto the tracks shortly after. He tries to escape but he gets hit; somehow he survives while Hakka and an escaping Bettel die.
- As Bettel, Jurard, Goldbullet and Hakka engage in a mêlée, Ruze gets hit by the subway and dies.
- Shinri, Hakka and Jurard are on the subway tracks; they are run over by the subway, using up TEMPUS's last two lives and gifting the win to ARMIS. As this happens Goldbullet and Bettel are knocked out by Flayon and Ruze.
- With the usual ARMIS photoshoot having the winners tussle over prime real estate, all ARMIS members end up essentially incapacitated in the photo, with Shinri staring blankly at the camera and Bettel staring blankly at Shinri.
The gang chooses Blackhole Lab with the Last Stand game mode. Goldbullet chooses GooGoo the Pigeon.
Goldbullet: I got da pigeon with da glasses! (laughs)
The match starts:
- Bettel takes the opportunity to drop Octavio, now playing as Carrot the Bunny. shortly after spawning.
  Octavio: Bettel, no! Not this early!
- A black hole appears, causing everyone to panic.
- The next black hole causes everyone to drop into the middle pit and die. Bettel hangs on, but just barely, falling into the middle pit and dying. Shinri's team earns a point while the rest mald.
- Octavio makes a comment.
  Octavio: Jurard, your ass is mine!
  - Bettel makes a comment about that comment.
    Bettel: How is the only thing that I've just heard is "I'm gonna eat your ass"? That's the only thing I've heard in the past 20 minutes.
- Jurard is thrown into the pit by Octavio.
- Bettel is thrown by a powered-up Goldbullet into the middle pit, killing him.
- Another black hole appears, killing everybody except Goldbullet and Shinri. Despite attempts to grief Goldbullet, he throws Shinri into the middle pit, gifting his team a point.
- Jurard is sent flying a short distance by a punch from Goldbullet.
- Goldbullet spots a pair of nunchucks on the ground but is dropkicked by Bettel.
- Another black hole appears, killing Bettel, Ruze, Jurard, Hakka and Octavio. Shinri somehow manages to survive, much to Jurard's exasperation:
  Jurard: How is Shinri surviving this?!
  - Running around the lab, Goldbullet catches up to Shinri and attempts to knock him out; he flubs his attack.
    Goldbullet: Oh fuck.
  - As they get sucked into another black hole, Shinri holds onto a chain, as does Goldbullet; he loses his grip, gets sucked into the black hole and dies, gifting Shinri's team another point.
- With another tussle going on with the ARMIS and TEMPUS boys, another black hole spawns. Hakka notices Octavio clinging near him, with Flayon providing additional commentary:
  Hakka: Octavio! WHY ARE YOU SO ATTRACTED TO ME?! STOP THAT!
  Flayon: What do you mean, Hakka? Look in the fucking mirror!

ARMIS D&D Oneshots

Ruze starts the campaign off by indirectly giving an in-universe reason why he is not participating in the quest (since everyone is basically playing themselves except him).
Ruze: One [quest posting] is a solo mission for strong cool guys, and the other is an easy quest for idiot babies. I bet you can guess which one I'm doing.
The group comes across what appears to be a statue of a gnome in a cavern that is teeming with electricity magic. In the ensuing attempt to get it, both Jurard and Goldbullet try to grab its hat, only for them both to be electrocuted. Octavio deciding to do a data check on the "statue" and Ruze's subsequent description gives the humorous image of him leisurely observing the scene while paying the electrocuted boys no mind.
- Not to mention that right beforehand, Jurard's initial course of action when seeing the gnome? To give it a kiss.
After freeing the real gnome from its stone prison, Jurard tries to convince him to join the party with his rizz voice.
Octavio of all people demonstrates his utter lack of patience for the gnome's rambling by threatening him with his dagger.
After the gnome (now named Tim-o-thee...as in Lil Timmy) tells the boys about his predicament, they all start laughing and jeering at him not unlike a bunch of schoolyard bullies. Considering ARMIS's official description as a bunch of antiheroes, it's laughably fitting.
In the East Chambers, Jurard attempts to open a door by chucking Lil Timmy at it.
Jurard and the boys try to apologize for yelling at Lil Timmy by covering him in kisses, much to Ruze's bewilderment.
The boys discover a treasure chest and open it, only to find not treasure but a bunch of laughing gas (which affects Octavio) and somehow a beard for Gibby.
The boys find another chest in an abandoned cafeteria and Jurard uses his Charisma to bait Lil Timmy into thinking it's full of candy.
The group finds a restroom with ancient toilets in it. Naturally, Octavio leaps at the chance to do a toilet inspection.
For the first time in the campaign, Jurard rolls a natural 20 as he uses Firebolt to open a door... only for the door to lead to another toilet room. Then later, when that room's toilet turns out to be a Mimic and attacks them, Jurard rolls a ''1'' at the most crucial moment. The chat lampshades his luck.
- How do they kill the Mimic in the end? Octavio telling it its debussy stinks.

Other collabs

The 8-1-2022 Mario Party collab failed, leading to an impromptu Left 4 Dead collab with some hilarious moments:
- The AI director seems to have it in for Magni, leading to him being "tongued" by the Smoker over and over (and over and over and over...)
- Vesper picks up a katana and quotes an old meme. The best part is that partway through he realizes that he might get bonked for saying a word that the algorithm wouldn't take too kindly to, but he's too far in to back out.
  Vesper: While you were out having premarital sex, I studied the blade!
- At one point, Magni calls Altare over, saying he "found a store for" him in the mall level. Altare takes one look at the store's name ("Little Pants") and is not amused.
- At one point, Magni gets "tongued" again, this time in a way that makes him stuck holding on to the stairway ramp while a zombie tries to stomp his character's hands.
  Magni: No! He's Mufasa-ing me!
  Most spammed chat message: LONG LIVE THE KING!
During TEMPUS's first Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout group collab, Altare manages to keep up his demon lord reputation despite the house rules forbidding grabbing for their lobbies by nonchalantly reading a random Sonic x Dezmond Gen Fic pulled from Archive of Our Own, to both Dez and chat's immense dismay. He keeps a straight face even as the Homoerotic Subtext comes flooding in, and a twist ending that strongly implies Altare is the blue blur reincarnated for a Reincarnation Romance. By the end of it, chat is freaking out, poor Dez and Vesper are utterly confused, and Axel intentionally compares everything to the Mario and Sonic kissing GIF.
During the off-collab between Altare and Magni, Altare has a gift for Magni but has misplaced it. After some impromptu rapping to keep the audience entertained while Altare finds the gift, Altare asks Magni to take the L. Magni counters with the Splatoon watch, and when the chat is polled, the L is deemed the better gift.
Judge Magni rises, and his first skit has him bringing Altare and Axel to the court, with Vesper acting as a bailiff. Said skit quickly turns out to be a Kangaroo Court full of hilarity; so much that the TEMPUS boys can hardly stay in character as the skit goes on.
- Magni is the Hanging Judge as he intimidates Altare into accepting the misnaming of "Ragus" and threatens to hold the guild leader in contempt for merely speaking up.
- The first case revolves around a disagreement over whether a paper towel roll has one or two holes. When Altare's argument devolves into personal attacks against Axel, Magni calls for order in the court, only for Altare to spitefully spit on the floor. Magni quickly notices it and orders Altare to lick the floor, which he does.
- The next case questions whether or not cereal should be considered as soup. Altare and Axel get into an argument that quickly devolves into restaurant shaming. When Altare calls Magni out for making puns at the case's expense, Magni has Vesper throw the gavel at Altare, knocking the poor sap out.
  Axel: [Looks at where Altare stood] Is he dead?
- When dissecting "Is a hotdog a taco?" someone in chat pipes up that a gordita is not a taco, which Vesper passionately argues against. Magni supports Vesper's outrage and permits him to smash one of the Magmites in the jury as a warning.
- When Altare and Axel realize that they both agree that a hotdog isn't a taco, they attempt to shake hands over it, but Magni forbids any direct hand-to-hand contact. While he continues with court proceedings, Altare and Axel try to sneakily improvise some close contact, and when Magni catches them in the act he notices that Altare is missing his lower body.
  Magni: Mr. Regis, where are your legs? You come into my court without any legs? How are you going to stand here and present your case when you have no legs to stand on?
  Vesper: Shameful display! What is wrong with you?
  Axel: I think he dropped them when he got—
  Magni: Mr. Syrios, do you have legs?
  Axel: Yeah I do, I got legs.
  Altare: Prove it.
  Axel: ...No.
  Magni: Fair.
- The court eventually finds Altare guilty at 74% and Magni sentences him to whatever punishment voice tweet Axel demands, with the latter going along with Magni's suggestion of doing a 10-second clip in Baby Talk. The voice clip can be found on Altare's Twitter:
  Altare: Uwu! Hewwo, everywody, my name is Regis Awtare from holostars English, uwu. Weader of the Twempus Gwuild. Justice is unfwair. Hashtag "Fwee Awtare." Uwu! [Beat] I hate Dezmond, goddangit.
The Phasmophobia Collab.
- During the first round, Altare and Vesper get killed by the ghost and discuss their findings in the front lawn while Magni and Axel are in the truck. Just as Altare and Vesper decide to head to the truck, they see the truck closing up and the living duo leave without actually solving what type of ghost it was.
Altare convinces Magni to play the story campaign of Halo: Reach on co-op.
- They settle for Legendary difficulty, with predictable struggles. One particular moment that may as well summarize the entire collab is when Altare gets killed by an invisible Elite on Long Night of Solace, prompting a panicked Magni to unload several rounds of his Concussion Rifle on the Elite while screaming on top of his lungs.
- Magni takes a bathroom break at the beginning of Exodus, prompting Altare to pass time by killing Magni's character repeatedly and throat singing the Halo theme song.
The impromptu Jan 2023 Yakiniku Simulator collab between Axel and Vesper is chock full of hilarity:
- For context, this collab happened after the latter had just gloriously sloshed himself with four cans of Strong Zero in a sadly privated free chat stream (now a members-only video) mere minutes earlier. Highlights include his 144p microphone, talks about apologizing to COVER for his suspension by way of a company dinner in full samurai armor, declaring Rachni Queen is moe and thinking of Korone's infamous Yubi Yubi meme when the chat pulls the finger test for the drunks on him.
- While the two of them have some semblance of understanding what a Yakiniku is, they don't seem concerned when Axel basically chucks the entire plate full of meat all at once over the stove and makes a campfire out of it. And they leave it like that for a good long while as they talk. Cue the cries of "WHO LET THEM COOK???" in chat.
- Axel and Vesper have a rather serious discussion about the newly-debuted Tempus Vanguard branch, children who wants to get into Professional Gaming and parenting, over the long burnt meat shaped like a penis.
During Bettel and Shinri's We Were Here collab, Shinri asks Bettel for some information.
Shinri: Can you tell me the color of the book?
Bettel: It's like book-colored.
(An audible slap is heard as Shinri takes a deep breath)
- In order to reset the puzzle, Shinri politely tells Bettel to kill himself. The chat lost it when he immediately did so without asking why.
For Altare and Magni's Beyblade off-collab:
- After a few trial runs when they're working out how to properly load and launch their tops, they get a good proper launch and the tops clash. Altare's top stops spinning, but Magni's falls apart. Altare gets extremely excited with this victory as Magni can only stare in shock.
  Altare: GET MAGGED! LET'S GOOOOOOOOOO!
  Magni: How?! How?!
- It ends with the latter forcing the former to call a member of Vanguard and act like a baby who needs their diaper changed. Flayon picks up, but in typical HoloPro fashion, it ends poorly for Magni as Flayon not only returns the favor, but immediately deduces that Magni forced Altare to make the call live^note and decides to hold the entire stream hostage until Magni does something embarrassing. They eventually agree to discuss how Magni would do a Love Confession, with the whiplash alone inflicting more than enough suffering on him.
During the Hololive Super Expo 2023 tour hosted by Axel, Hakka, and Flayon, they encountered Gori-mane in the flesh complete with gorilla mask and gloves. Flayon feels embarrassed about her because he's the one who started the whole Gori-mane meme. Gori-mane also has a toy hammer which she'll use to bonk Axel whenever he does something naughty.
In Bettel and Hakka's first stream of It Takes Two, the stream starts off with Bettel and Hakka getting into an argument akin to a divorced couple, complete with arguing over custody rights (of a dead son, no less). Even better is Shinri in the chat commenting popcorn emojis.
- In their second stream of the game, the bit continues, giving us this gem of an exchange:
  Hakka: But what's the point? [pretends to cry] What's the fucking point...? My mom told me not to marry that white guy...
  [both bust up laughing]
  Bettel: You should've fuckin' listened!
Magni, Bettel, Hakka, and Shinri's Ranching Simulator collaboration has a particularly memorable moment when Magni realizes the chickens aren't laying eggs. He asks Hakka to figure it out, and without skipping a beat, he screams something out in Spanish that roughly translates to "Hey assholes, where the fuck are the eggs?!" Not only does Bettel immediately lose it, all of chat mostly agrees not to translate Hakka's words because it's funnier that way.
During Hakka's Christmas celebrations in 2023, one stream has the TEMPUS boys engage in a Secret Santa drawing competition. Altare's gift for Shinri was a television with a ghost girl in it. Due to the artstyle, Shinri along with everyone else interpreted it as a half of a hot dog instead. So, Altare resubmits it with an added smiling face.
When TEMPUS did their Christmas song for 2023 based on "12 Days of Christmas", the gift associated with the seventh day, which was covered by the resident profanity slinger Axel, was bleeped out. The first time, Altare called him out. The third time around, that part was silent.
During the Year in Review to celebrate the end of 2023 on Bettel's channel:
- The boys were asked about accomplishments from 2023. While most of them talked about their songs or career, Flayon goes for getting erotic games such as HuniePop green lit for streaming instead.
- Altare blindsides everyone by jokingly informing them that the guild's lease is expired, so the group's disbanding. He goes off to make his own guild.
- A segment was reserved for those lost during 2023. While heartwarming in that they honored Magni, Vesper and Mysta Rias, the Comic Sans, "Amazing Grace" on kazoo, and some joke losses (like the bees in Minecraft) made it humorous. To cap it off, Bettel forgot about the death of his assistant Jerry that occurred during his debut.
- While the guys talk about awful toilet experiences, Flayon hightails it as he refuses to partake. In his place, he places a "SEND HELP" sign.
The infamous Tempus HQ 3D celebration stream, which is initially privated and trimmed into 6 minutes, shows what would happen if you let a dirty-minded individual like Axel use his 3D model on whatever the hell he wants, much to Altare and by extension, Tora-mane's exasperation.
- Asides from doing the typical Flipping the Bird, Axel gestures by opening and closing his palms as if he's groping some boobs.
- Axel shows how to eat a glizzy which looks like he's doing a blowjob.
- When Altare tries to do the Wall Pin of Love on Axel, Axel kneels in front of him instead, facing his crotch, leading Altare to panic. And they did this three times when Hakka and Bettel raided and when rpr pops into the chat.
The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventures with Flayon, Hakka, Goldbullet, and Ruze
- Ruze consistently being top player despite always being voted Hero of Shadow, as he constantly goes for Force Gems.
- Stage 2-1 had everyone dying more than once to bombs, whether it's the screen killing variety or Flayon and Ruze's access to giant bombs. Hakka's first death on that staged happened when he was away.
Octavio plays Pass the Lore with the rest of the Holostars EN branch. Originally it's about a puppeteer who needed to go to Xenokuni for a thyroid gland for his puppet. As the story is passed on, details get lost while new details were improvised, including but not limited to drowning in a lake, Final Fantasy, a dog named Hades, the R-TRUS, testicular torsion, a Mister Seahorse scenario, and a celebratory feast.
Octavio: Uh...what happened to my story?

Funny / hololive - holostars English

Group Collabs

Previous

Index

Next

Funny / hololive - holostars English

Edit Locked

Group Collabs

Previous

Index

Next