hololive - holostars English -ARMIS- / Funny

For moments on TEMPUS individuals, see here. For group collabs, see here.

ARMIS

Jurard T. Rexford

Jurard's hunting license is wholly doctored up, implying he's not nearly as threatening as he chalks himself up to. His Charisma is ranked at 5, but the rest—Danger, Endurance, and Stealth—are all at 1, with the rest of the blank spaces sloppily colored in.
Jurard has a dinosaur transformation...except he doesn't like swapping forms that much because the tail rips a hole in his pants. He wears a cape to also hide that damn hole in his pants whenever it happens.
- Also, the tail apparently comes out of his asshole.
Jurard proceeded to very quickly flirt with the girls from VShojo, much to their dismay. After he called Ironmouse "kittin", Geega announced she'd call him kitten if he did. Jurard considered that a "win-win".
Jurard started his playthrough of The Sims 4 by making Sims of each of the members of ARMIS. Goldbullet ended up looking the most normal out of all of them, as Jurard's own Sim has a "Gigachad" jaw, Octavio's is practically skeletal (and he has the "Vampire" walk, which was apparently meant to mimic Octavio using his puppet strings, but ended up making him look even more unsettling), and Ruze's Sim barely even looks like him^noteJurard's explanation for the mohawk in the following episode is that Ruze somehow merged with his axe, Zephyr. That last one is how Jurard ended up getting a Discord call onstream from a very displeased Ruze (which we don't get to hear because he was muted for everyone but Jurard).
- When Jurard is looking for Lil' Timmy (a toddler Sim based on a garden gnome the ARMIS boys "adopted" during their Left 4 Dead collaboration), he ends up finding him just in time to see him get run over by a car^note, leaving Jurard gasping for air in laughter.
To celebrate the opening of his membership, Jurard makes a tierlist stream...of which letters of the alphabet he finds the sexiest. It Makes Just As Much Sense In Context, and even he starts wondering why he's even doing this stream in the first place.
- For a moment, Jurard is left puzzled at where to place the letter E. Then E itself sends him a $2 superchat, which ends up swaying his opinion enough to rank it in the second-highest category.
Jurard's first Idol Showdown stream has him spend the first part of it flexing his Promoted Fanboy status, practically frothing at the mouth over Coco's in-game representations. Then he learns one of Coco's attacks has her riding a dinosaur, and all hell breaks loose as he realizes he can insert himself into the game through that.
- When Jurard first sees Coco's artwork, he goes into half-dino mode to show off his tail just like she used to. Chat reminds Jurard that doing that rips his pants, but he doesn’t mind since he wants Coco to see his tail.
- When he sees that Coco's crouching animation has her lean against her YouTube Gold Play Button while sitting on her tail, Jurard immediately gets rid of his chair so he can sit on his tail too. When chat asks him if doing that hurts him, he says the sacrifice is Worth It if it means he can be like his oshi.
In his Persona 3 Reload stream:
- Shortly after the MC awakens his Persona, he is soon taken to the hospital by Yukari. After a heart-to-heart, Yukari admits that she feels the same as the MC due to her father passing away. Jurard points how it's not a good idea to "trauma dump" on someone who just woke up from exhaustion.
- While Yukari is talking about her and the MC's past, Jurard loudly says that he doesn't need to know about her past but his future, and then loudly proclaims about his "MINDSET GRINDSET".
- In one of his streams, he states that the Strega members include "a naked hippie" (Takaya), "a gothic lolita" (Chidori) and "a nerd" (Jin).
In his Pamali stream, Jurard spends a good chunk of time being scared out of his mind. Special notice goes to when, after hearing a noise while reading a magazine about the supernatural, he lets out an extremely high-pitched screech comparable to the whistle tea kettle.
Jurard invades the TEMPUS guild while everyone is in Japan for the expo. Seeing how the guild hall is empty, he decides to make his mark by urinating in the halls.
In Jurard's chatting stream in Japan for the holo expo, he remarked about how Ruze and Axel fought over who can sign the highest on the wall. Jurard would then sign it, with the other two calling him a cheater for using the ladder. The highest signature ended up being Flayon's, who was said to have used the R-TRUS to reach that high.
Jurard does a solo stream for Content Warning. He failed to obtain a video, and notices that Shinri was raiding. So, to hide his shame, he switches to a lecture on being good to the environment.
ASMR Boyfriend calls you cute but DIES from a Meteor gives us Exactly What It Says on the Tin, as Jurard's compliments to the listener are interrupted by screaming and him panicking just before he gets crushed.
Ironmouse: WEIRD TREX MAN
Jurard: IRON RAT WOMAN

Goldbullet

During his debut, Goldbullet demonstrates the power of his sniper rifle Lorraine by using her to kill a fruit fly (whose name was apparently Freddy) that had been bothering him for three months. After locking on to his target, Gibby pulls the trigger...only for nothing to happen. And then Freddy bursts into flame in a bug-sized explosion.
- Gibby would later mention in his first zatsudan stream that the delay was unintentional, hence why he cracked up immediately afterwards.
- Gibby's breaking point with Freddy? Making the ":3" face.
Gibby was in a particularly silly mood during his playthrough of Gorn: Visceral Reality, with one of his most notable antics being when he got the crab claw weapons and then proceeded to put on an impromptu puppet show with them.
Right Claw: I love you!
Left Claw: Let's kiss.
Right Claw: But what about the others? They're gonna watch!
Left Claw: I want them to watch.
(cue passionate "make-out" session)
Gibby has a rather baffling account from when he worked at a grocery store involving a customer complaining about not knowing where the water is. The customer then calls out to Gibby and asks if he was a lesbian. Granted, Gibby does have long hair that caused the confusion, but the inanity of the situation was too funny to forget.
Gibby attempts a relaxed playthrough Amnesia: The Dark Descent, with Jurard occasionally yelling to Jump Scare him. There were also occasions that Hakka's screamo or a snippet of TEMPUS's "FLEX" would play instead.
While playing Donkey Kong Country, Gibby had placed full-figure pictures of his fellow Holostars on his screen. When he brings out Minase Rio's pic, he proceeds to smell him, only for Rio himself to raid Gibby's stream.
The resident spice-lover does a hot sauce tasting stream, and he certainly finds the spice he craves out of it from the thirty sauces he picked out.
- As soon as the handcam is shown, he has alphabet chicken nuggets spelling out "FUCK". After he gathers up all of the alphabet nuggets, he later spells the word "SEX".
- His rating scale of 1-5 goes as follows: "BABY MODE", "DECENT STUFF", "NICE AND TASTY", "NOW THAT'S HOT" and "YAGOO HELP ME".
- What he considers a small dab is just upending the bottle and dousing the nugget with the sauce.
- He attempts to drink the jalapeño bacon sauce straight out of the bottle and got way more than he bargained for.
- Gibby couldn't tell if he picked up a M or W nugget, and decides it's W for Wumbo.
Gibby follows his senpai Flayon's footsteps and braves HuniePop (although he chose to play the sequel). Since it is an eroge, chaos ensues.
- To start off, he admitted that he thought it's going to be a simple puzzle game and wasn't expecting anything lewd.
- A couple times, he wonders how Flayon managed to unlock the perms in the first place, given the content.
- The tutorial date takes place in the plane's bathroom, and Gibby was more concerned about the sanitary conditions over the tutorial with Lola and Kyu.
- Gibby is often taken aback by the huge amounts of swearing in the game, stating that even he doesn't go that far in swearing.
- During his date with Lola, Gibby asks if there are any men in the game (not fully knowing that there are only women as love interests). When the chat says there aren't, he shouts that he "wants to see men".
- While he did not get as much attention as Flayon did during his streams of the original, he did attract attention from some of the voice actors and one of the artists, plus a raid from Gamma.
- Goldbullet's meeting with Sarah:
  - Gibby's immediate reaction to her after her introduction is pure dread and exhaustion, with him realizing he's in for a bad time.
  - After Sarah mistakens Lailani as a tan Japanese girl and bombards her with questions, Gibby pauses the stream and lets out a muffled Cathartic Scream in frustration over Sarah's actions and tone.
  - One of the options during his conversation with Sarah is about "panties in vending machines" in Japan. He doesn't believe it until his chat starts telling him it is true. He searches for it and ends up shocked and then going completely silent.
  - Considering how Sarah's annoying nature makes Lailani nervous and uncomfortable, Gibby questions how they are able to be compatible in the first place.
- Throughout his playthrough, Gibby gets more and more flabbergasted by Kyu's crass comments. The biggest example is their meeting with Candy, about which Kyu states that Candy's the type of girl so hot that Kyu wants her to spit on her face, suck her knees and "drink her juice". At this point, Gibby knows full well that monetization is gone.
Goldbullet's EarthBound (1994) stream contains some rather silly moments, considering the nature of the game.
- Gibby nearly loses it when he realizes that one of the party members is named Poo.
- Gibby opens the present in Ness' sister's room and is surprised that there is a bat in the box. This causes him to think of a hypothetical scenario where an actual bat flies out of a present box, complete with him making bat noises.
- When entering Porky's house, Gibby spends a good chunk of time criticizing the tacky layout of the house.

Octavio

Octavio's opening song immediately dispels what little creepiness his character invoked pre-debut by being a very adorable theme song.
Among Octavio's likes: public toilets.
Melatonin seemed like the right kind of game for a music-loving guy like Octavio to excel at, only for his own singing to make him late on the button cues.
- The musical game he actually excelled at turned out to be Trombone Champ, where he opens his stream by skipping his usual opening rambles AND the game tutorials, getting an S-rank on the warm up section.
In his first stream of Minecraft, Ruze makes off with Octavio's stack of diamonds and tells him he'll give them back if he uses the "B-word" (calling back to Ruze's goal of getting called a bastard by every member of Stars EN). Octavio doesn't follow.
Octavio: What's the B-word? [in the game chat] Boob?
Ruze: Oh shit, cracked the code Sherlock, I am so thwarted.
Octavio: Boyfailure? Blease?
Ruze: Close. Rhymes with plastered.
Octavio: Blastered.
Ruze: [gives up and gives Octavio the diamonds back anyway]
Octavio spends more time laughing than making Jurard in the NBA 2K23 character creator, after learning he could make him look completely hideous.
In the 10th episode of OcTalks, Octavio talked about his meet-and-greet experience. One visiting Poppet asked him if he prefers boobs or butts. Knowing that his manager and the interpreter is there with him, he had no choice but to Take a Third Option (armpits).
During his first Tagalog unarchived karaoke, Octavio admits he sang "Mr. Suave" by Parokya ni Edgar for his audition to Holostars and that song made him passed the audition. His Filipino viewers were amused by this info.

Crimzon Ruze

Ruze's Debut:
- At the start of his debut, he mutes himself for a solid minute, although he was playing a prank on the chat by saying it was all planned... or so he says.
- The way Ruze talks about himself is hilariously crude. All he has for info cards is a piece of paper and a red crayon; he even holds his crayon incorrectly, grasping it in his fist.
- He thinks that the objectively best Isekai anime of all time is Homestuck. He then delves into a 34 page essay to prove his point, only to be cut off by Mane-chan and inform the chat that it's not a good idea to ramble on until the audience wishes for the inevitable heat death of the universe.
- Ruze's hunting license looks normal for the most part, save for his Stealth—sorry, Luck—rated with a red star, placed before the regular rating scale. This implies that particular stat is -1, not 0.
- He reveals that despite his dislike of talking to people, he's currently debuting because the COVERment requires it as part of his bounty.
- His bingo card lists off all of his interests ranging across literature, games, and anime like Sailor Moon, Cowboy Bebop, The Lord of the Rings, Warcraft, and others. If you can make a bingo from his interests, then he gives you the right to hang out with him. If you can't make a bingo, well he says there's no accounting for tastes, but he'll try to make it work out anyway.
- His card describing what the audience will suffer from him:
  Variety content
  Bad advice
  Catching these hands
  Karaoke, if I'm desperate
- One of his goals is to be called a bastard by every member of the Holostars. He's off to a good start by already having two of the members of Armis having already called him such before debut. Hakka calls him a bastard in the chat.
- Ruze takes pride in having more belts than any Final Fantasy character that ever lived.
During his monetization stream, Ruze held a cookie decorating stream. He painstakingly created very detailed cookies of Jurard, Goldbullet, and Octavio... and then chopped them all into pieces with a wood cutting axe on camera.
Ruze's Valentines Day stream has him make some cute cards for his branchmates using arts and crafts. The kicker? He's making hate mail. Perhaps the most outrageous is Jurard's card, which says "I WISH THOSE METEORS COULD AIM".

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