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The Laconic Wiki is all well and good, but some of them are a bit too short. What they need is to be stuffed with filler and doused in flowery language, to the point where it all becomes a crufty mess.

(Imagine reducing a 1000x1000 pixel picture to 100x100, then expanding it to 1000x1000 again. That's the Unlaconic Laconic Wiki.)


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  • Never Say No To Panda: The immaculant presence of a random bipedal Panda Bear that is constantly followed by "True Love Ways" by Buddy Holly will occur to anyone within the African/Midde-Eastern country of Egypt who refuses the consumption or pruchasing of the Arab Dairy product Panda Cheese.

    Art 
  • Drinking Bacchus: The Roman God of Wine, Wine-Making, grape-harvesting, Fertility, Theater, and insanity portrayed as a fat, naked baby with a wreath of grape-vines on his head drinking win right out of the bottle while peeing next to a wine barrel peeing beside him and thus ruining wine for most of you.

    Anime & Manga 

    Comic Books 

    Fan Fic 
  • Turning Tables: Broken Ace Peter Parker develops an increasingly ludicrous Guilt Complex after father-figure Iron Man dies when they fail to stop Thanos from wiping out half of the universe, becoming his fiancee's adopted son and his Someone to Remember Him By daughter's older brother/the closest thing she has to a father.
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    Films — Animation 
  • The Incredibles: Family Man with Super Strength suffers from a mid-like crisis in this Objectivist/Libertarian parable about the inherent superiority of superior individuals and the evils of government who portrays the only government official as reasonable and the Big Bad and Hate Sink as philanthropists who value personal profit over the little guy.
  • Incredibles 2: Housewife with Rubber Man powers goes back into the work-force to become a superhero for a corporation immune to Federal Laws to fight a villain that wants superheroes to become illegal by Federal Law while her husband looks after the kids.

    Films — Live-Action 

    Live-Action TV 

    Video Game 

    Western Animation 
  • Steven Universe: An adolescent boy of an evolved species of primate is the offspring of a polymorphic, sentient mineral amazon-lesbian who rigged a rebellion against her own kind that inadvertently rendered the planet she loved infested with Eldritch Abominations.
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    Tropes 
  • Hollywood Dreamtime: Fiction cares so little about the indigenous Australian people's idea of what their The Time of Myths is that movies and video games think that it is a place or a type of superpower.
  • Jar Potty: When the presence of a bathroom with a working flushable toilet, a working non-flushable construction worker blue portable restroom or enough space to take a piss or take a dump is unavailable, always find a small portable container made of glass, metal, plastic, styrofoam or ceramic to relieve yourself so that you won't have to go out searching for any of those things with a full bladder or unvoided bowels.
  • Spoon Bending: When proof that a person has psychic powers has to be shown by copying a phony psychic in a sea of other people who pretended to see the future or hear the voice of the all-mighty for the money of their gullible fans

    Meta 
  • Darth Wiki: The dark, cold, foreboding cousin of our beloved encyclopedia of devices used in fiction, the Darth Wiki is a perversion of the virtues that its predecessor stands for, the darkness the lies in every troper's heart given the form of black-on-white lines of text. For some reason, the denizens of said encyclopedia treat this section as a source of endless amusement and laughter.
  • So Bad, It's Good: When people drop praise and reverence for something that was made with good intentions with awful tools and incompetent artists who thought they were better than they were specifically because it was made so poorly.
  • So Bad, It's Horrible: When a work of art or fiction is so mind-numbingly, stomach-spewingly, brain-shittingly awful in the production, writing, visuals and presentation that people could not even enjoy it ironically.
  • So Cool, It's Awesome: When a work of art or fiction is so phenomenal in its writing, visuals and all around execution that it quickly develops fully organized and very obnoxiously loud fanbase capable of propping a franchise up on pure orgasmic positivity alone.
  • So Okay, It's Average: When you watch a movie, read a comic book or binge a tv series that would have been a C+ or a B- if it were being graded by a substitute teacher. You saw it and you thought that it was no incompetently made or offensive to your morals, but left so small of an impact that you in no way feel invested enough to demand any more or less of it.
  • Sugar Wiki: The light, warm, cuddly cousin of the already likable encyclopedia of devices used in fiction, the Sugar Wiki adds an extra dash of pastel colors and diabetic coma waiting to happen in an invasive, kudzu-like rainbow of positivity ready to invade the rest of the wiki and everything on it.
  • Unlaconic Laconic Wiki: Building increasingly unlaconic versions of already existing laconic pages meant to be laconic pages for unlaconic pages.

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