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The Laconic Wiki is all well and good, but some of them are a bit too short. What they need is to be stuffed with filler and doused in flowery language, to the point where it all becomes a crufty mess.

(Imagine reducing a 1000x1000 pixel picture to 100x100, then expanding it to 1000x1000 again. That's the Unlaconic Laconic Wiki.)

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  • Never Say No To Panda: The immaculate presence of a random bipedal Panda Bear that is constantly followed by "True Love Ways" by Buddy Holly will occur to anyone within the African/Middle-Eastern country of Egypt who refuses the consumption or purchasing of the Arab Dairy product Panda Cheese.

  • Drinking Bacchus: The Roman God of Wine, Wine-Making, grape-harvesting, Fertility, Theater, and insanity portrayed as a fat, naked baby with a wreath of grape-vines on his head drinking win right out of the bottle while peeing next to a wine barrel peeing beside him and thus ruining wine for most of you.

    Anime & Manga 

    Card Games 
  • Cards Against Humanity: A Rated M party game that uses no real point system or strategy other than encouraging its players to pair cards together to create Refuge in Audacity jokes blacker than Africa that are arbitrarily decide is funny based on the whims of a Game Master.
  • Yu-Gi-Oh!: Players draw cards from their respective decks and take turns playing cards onto "the field". Each player uses a deck containing forty to sixty cards, and an optional "Extra Deck" of up to fifteen cards. There is also an optional fifteen card side deck, which allows players to swap cards from their main deck and/or extra deck between games. Players are restricted to three of each card per deck and must follow the Forbidden/Limited card list, which restricts selected cards by Konami to be limited to two, one, or zero. Each player starts with 8,000 "Life Points", with the main aim of the game to use monster attacks and spells to reduce the opponent's Life Points. Players can win if either their opponent's Life points reach 0, their opponent needs to draw but their deck has been completely depleted, certain cards trigger an automatic win or if a player forfeits.

    Comic Books 

    Fan Fic 
  • Same Difference: Hamato "Master Splinter" Yoshi and Dented Iron Tang Shen move to New York to have five children — Adaptational Heroism Hamato Miwa/Oroku Karai and human versions of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles — who go on adventures fighting two different species of evil aliens, evil mutants, Foot Clan Ninja, Foot Clan mutants, Foot Clan robots built by aliens and various problems brought on by their multiverse.
  • Turning Tables: Broken Ace Peter Parker develops an increasingly ludicrous Guilt Complex after father-figure Iron Man dies when they fail to stop Thanos from wiping out half of the universe, becoming his fiancee's adopted son and his Someone to Remember Him By daughter's older brother/the closest thing she has to a father.

    Films — Animation 
  • The Incredibles: Family Man with Super Strength suffers from a mid-life crisis in this Objectivist/Libertarian parable about the inherent superiority of superior individuals and the evils of government who portrays the only government official as reasonable and the Big Bad and Hate Sink as philanthropists who value personal profit over the little guy.
  • Incredibles 2: Housewife with Rubber Man powers goes back into the work-force to become a superhero for a corporation immune to Federal Laws to fight a villain that wants superheroes to become illegal by Federal Law while her husband looks after the kids.

    Films — Live-Action 

  • American Gods: An Unfazed Everyman fresh out of prison discovers that his wife has died in a car-crash and is recruited by the American incarnation of the Top God of Norse Mythology to wage a war between the Old Gods immigrated to the New World and Gods of Modern Day American Culture.
  • The Raven Cycle: A hipster girl who is the only non-psychic in her family and will kill her One True Love if she kisses him, teams up with a rich genius who doesn't understand the value of money and is fated to die within a year, a cynical boy with anger issues who can bring stuff from his dreams to the real world, a Scholarship Student who both resents and wants to be just like his rich classmates and a shy boy who is actually dead to resurrect a Welsh king who is burried in a small town in Virginia.

    Live-Action TV 

    Tabletop Games 

    Video Game 

    Western Animation 

  • Hollywood Dreamtime: Fiction cares so little about the indigenous Australian people's idea of what their The Time of Myths is that movies and video games think that it is a place or a type of superpower.
  • Jar Potty: When the presence of a bathroom with a working flushable toilet, a working non-flushable construction worker blue portable restroom or enough space to take a piss or take a dump is unavailable, always find a small portable container made of glass, metal, plastic, styrofoam or ceramic to relieve yourself so that you won't have to go out searching for any of those things with a full bladder or unvoided bowels.
  • Samurai Shinobi: Due to Truth in Television application of historical traditions and the fetishism of Japanese culture, pop culture mixes the traditions, philosophy, fighting styles, equipment, motivations, ethics, tactics and aesthetics of Samurai and Ninja until the line that separates them ceases to exist.
  • Spoon Bending: When proof that a person has psychic powers has to be shown by copying a phony psychic in a sea of other people who pretended to see the future or hear the voice of the all-mighty for the money of their gullible fans.

  • Darth Wiki: The dark, cold, foreboding cousin of our beloved encyclopedia of devices used in fiction, the Darth Wiki is a perversion of the virtues that its predecessor stands for, the darkness the lies in every troper's heart given the form of black-on-white lines of text. For some reason, the denizens of said encyclopedia treat this section as a source of endless amusement and laughter.
  • So Bad, It's Good: When people drop praise and reverence for something that was made with good intentions with awful tools and incompetent artists who thought they were better than they were specifically because it was made so poorly.
  • So Bad, It's Horrible: When a work of art or fiction is so mind-numbingly, stomach-spewingly, brain-shittingly awful in the production, writing, visuals and presentation that people could not even enjoy it ironically.
  • So Cool, It's Awesome: When a work of art or fiction is so phenomenal in its writing, visuals and all around execution that it quickly develops fully organized and very obnoxiously loud fanbase capable of propping a franchise up on pure orgasmic positivity alone.
  • So Okay, It's Average: When you watch a movie, read a comic book or binge a tv series that would have been a C+ or a B- if it were being graded by a substitute teacher. You saw it and you thought that it was no incompetently made or offensive to your morals, but left so small of an impact that you in no way feel invested enough to demand any more or less of it.
  • Sugar Wiki: The light, warm, cuddly cousin of the already likable encyclopedia of devices used in fiction, the Sugar Wiki adds an extra dash of pastel colors and diabetic coma waiting to happen in an invasive, kudzu-like rainbow of positivity ready to invade the rest of the wiki and everything on it.
  • Unlaconic Laconic Wiki: Building increasingly unlaconic versions of already existing laconic pages meant to be laconic pages for unlaconic pages.