For Funny Moments in Chip's Retsupuraes, please refer to the respective page.
- What makes it better is that just before they go to fight Bad Girl, when they're saving their game...Chip: (bellows "GOOOOOAAAAAAL" for five seconds straight)
Ironicus: Why weren't you saying that when we were running people over?
Chip: I just thought of it.
Ironicus: Instead you just shout soccer!
- What makes it better is that just before they go to fight Bad Girl, when they're saving their game...
- Fabulous lawn mowing.
- Then there was Ironicus' commentary during the graffiti cleaning mini game:(Chip does various gestures with the Wiimote to clean the graffiti off the wall)
Ironicus: This is the opposite of Jet Set Radio.
(after a few seconds, Ironicus begins singing part of Birthday Cake from Jet Set Radio Future)
- Anything involving Dad Buster (aka Chip's intruding but hilariously nonsensical father), really.
- Including his introduction, which was done in the style of the bosses from No More Heroes. He's also ranked 5.5.
- According to him, Voltron is airing on The Gay Channel.
- The Bitter Mode runs of the game's bosses has the duo doing silly gimmick commentary, eventually ending with the two splitting up and Chip attempting to do commentary with slowbeef and Diabetus (which sounds suspiciously like a prerecorded conversation between the two about books with Chip awkwardly interjecting every now and then), all while Ironicus bitterly Retsupuraes the whole thing.
- Chip accidentally drives by the bar Lovikov's in. But he did a sweet jump!Ironicus: That excuses everything. "Sorry, I killed your daughter. But I did a sweet jump!"
- When Chip feeds his cat after taking the number 8 position.Chip: Cat.
Ironicus: We're number eight.
Chip: WE'RE FEEDING IT!
Ironicus: Let us feed our cat now that we're number eight. We are the number eighth cat feeder in the world.
Chip: Yes! I'm on the cover of Cat Feeding Magazine!
- Chip: Even whores gotta work their way up to the top. (Don't put that quote down somewhere, like TV Tropes perhaps.)
- "It's time to massage the shit out of this cat!"
- Which reappears later and set to grindcore.
- Chip's rapidly clicking joystick prompts Ironicus to say he sounds "like a pod of dolphins communicating."
- Not to mention, his reaction to Bishop dying at the very beginning of the game, which is overshadowed by Jeane the cat's weight. The reaction from Chip's part is pure, comedy gold.
- Ironicus suggests that Chip feed the cat, before,Ironicus: Oh yeah, I forgot, yeah, you don't have any money so you cannot feed the cat.
Chip: I cannot feed the cat, I am broke. So I'm just gonna lift the hell out of my cat and somehow burn calories.
Ironicus: If you were to feed the cat, you would go into debt.
Ironicus: Welcome to America, love it or leave it.
Chip: Oh God, let's see how many times I can lift my fat-ass cat.
Ironicus: I do not understand how this is gonna make the cat thinner.
Chip: [finishes minigame] Oh 11! Yeah!
Ironicus My only idea is that you lose weight lifting the fat cat and it then inspires the fat cat to-
Chip: No, no, no, I just vaporized half a pound off my cat.
- A while after talking about how awesome his new beam katana's battery life is, Chip suddenly gets the low battery screen for his Wiimote.Chip: Oh no, my batteries! (laughs) My real batteries!
- And while he goes off to get new batteries, Ironicus talks about his favorite character of the game: the tiger in the corner of the HUD that acts as Travis' Ecstasy gauge.
- Chip suggesting that instead of Skelter Helter surviving having his head cut off to deliver his message to Travis, he should've just run around like a headless chicken and painted his message on the roof with his bleeding neck-stump.
- Also, Ironicus making fun of the fact that the revenge plot Skelter Helter agreed to take part in involved himself getting killed.
- A funny moment unrelated to the game at all. While the two are grinding up stats in preparation for the Cloe Walsh fight (episode #10), Ironicus relates how his building recently installed a voice chime in the elevator, presumably as an aid to the blind, but he's really weirded out by how seductive (and clingy!) it sounds.Ironicus: First off, I'm not single. Second, you don't have a face? ...Just because I get inside you twice a day does not mean anything, ok? That's just out of necessity.
- Chip showing off the Bizarre Jelly 5 shooter mini-game.(game switches to the high score list just long enough to show a bunch of Chip's high scores)
Chip: (hitting a button to go back to the main menu) Don't show the scoreboard, please.
Ironicus: (laughing) So how much have you played of this game?
- Ironicus keeping track of the number of shots of "needless sexualization of small children" in the BJ5 OP, noting that most of the scenes that did not have this only passed by way of not actually showing the main characters.
- Ironicus reading the lyrics to John Cooper Clarke's Evidently Chickentown during his Bitter fight against Cloe Walsh.
- During the rank 4 fight's looong parking lot assault, Chip put in "X Minutes In" cards as he skips ahead to interesting bits in his and Ironicus' rambling commentary. Though perhaps the best single moment is one early on...
- During the Rank 3 fight, Chip narrates his father showing their dog to him.
- The Rank 2 Bitter fight consists of mostly bursts of laughter."WHAT EVEN IS A SLURRY AGITATOR?"
- While discussing the Updated Re-release of the first game Chip gets to discussing the Wiimote's waggle vs. the Playstation Move in regards to the burger spinning minigame and...Chip: So here's another thing um, you know how when Travis recharges the battery he does an up-and-down motion in both No More Heroes, but they didn't actually require you to do the up-and-down, you just had to waggle? (grows exasperated) In the PS3 version, they really want you to mimic like you're masturbating! So I am hunched over a table right now in front of a microphone jacking this Move off! (Ironicus laughs)
Chip: It really wants you to go like crazy too to get this gauge up. Oh my god my arm is burning. (Ironicus continues to laugh)
Ironicus: Is there any danger at all of this burger exploding? I don't think so.
Chip: No. It's also like- it really want a really specific type of up-and-down motion, too, or else it does not work as well as you think it would.
Ironicus: Y'know, every burger sign is different, you have to take it slow and ask the burger sign what she likes.
Chip: Y'know this just isn't working for me. I mean it's not, I dunno... it's just kinda weird, it feels different...
Ironicus: Clockwise, counter-clockwise...
Chip: Just, something that is just not getting my hamburger spinning today. (both promptly bust out laughing)
Ironicus: If that took off as a euphemism, oh my God. "Sorry honey, my hamburger's just not spinning today."
- "All I'm getting is that nothing has anything to do with anything."
- There's Chip's atrocious Popeye impersonation, as well as his reaction to a computer asking Garcian AKA Emir Parkreiner for his date of death as verification:
- BEEP BOOP BEEP, GHOST COMPUTER! I am in the Internet, that's where ghosts go! I am travelin' through the cyberspace and I am typin' stuff in.
- The duo's reaction to Travis's pelvic thrusting in part 7.
- Travis says that Pearlharbor has a weakspot for comicbook lovers. Ironicus wants in.Ironicus: I was born on the planet Krypton, where my parents were bitten by a radioactive spider which killed them before my very eyes, so I was sent in this small spaceship to the planet Earth as an envoy of the Amazons, where I passed through cosmic radiation which gave me many powers, though when it landed I crashed into radioactive waste, which then blinded me but hightened my other senses. Since I landed I bonded with the speed force and was met with a representative of the guardians of Oa, who gave me a power ring to defend truth, justice and the American way. Please let me into your comic house!
Chip: No! N-no, go away! You're not Power Rangers! I only draw Power Rangers, because they're my favorite.
Ironicus: W-well my dad that got killed by a radioactive spider before my very eyes happened to be named Zordon.
Chip: Could your parents combine into a robot? If yes, then you're in.
Ironicus: Well, the spaceship they gave me was the left arm of a giant robot, um, th-the other four parts were destroyed when the planet exploded.
Chip: Er, uh, um, well I guess, I guess.
Ironicus: Did I mention that the radioactive waste that blinded me also gave me the ability to talk to fish?
Chip: You're IN!
Ironicus: I was crowned king of Atltantis twice when I arrived.
Chip: You're... double in!
- Chip getting annoyed with Iwazaru flat out telling you to answers to puzzles, and eventually, when he's unable to simply avoid Iwazaru entirely, starts just paraphrasing his lines in huge, screen-covering letters like "USE THE RING JESUS" or "USE DAN" instead of writing out everything he says like he does everyone else.
- Whenever Ironicus gets giddy from certain events in the game (usually involving Mask or Yoon-Hyun.)
- When Iwazaru hands over a color swatch, explaining that it was "discarded by bickering lovers", Chip and Ironicus try to imagine how that scenario played out.Chip: This green swatch is a token of our love! We met on St. Patrick's Day!
Ironicus: You gave me that swatch on our fourth anniversary!
Chip: I love this RGB value!
Ironicus: No! We're over! The swatch is over, too!
- One of Travis' poses is him sitting at a bench with a knife and fork, as if he's waiting for food. Chip responds by editing in a whole turkey sliding in from off-screen right in front of him.
- Sully's general appearance prompts and mannerisms prompts Chip and Ironicus to compare him to J. Jonah Jameson. This of course means that Drake is really Peter Parker/Spider-Man.
- Ironicus cracking quite a few jokes about how much of Sully's characterisation seems to center around him being a bit of a manwhore.
- Sully walks over to hold down a chain to open a door for Drake:Ironicus (as Sully): The weight of all my venereal diseases will help me out!
- When Sully uses his matches to light a brazier, and snarks about how Drake complains about his smoking habit:Ironicus (as Sully): I'm too busy slowing dying of lung cancer to help you out, kid. It's gonna kill me before the syphilis, I hope.
- The guys study what Sully is doing when he is idle:Chip: There is all this beautiful stuff, and Sully's just looking at a rock.
Ironicus (as Sully): The rock reminds me of Jessica... I called her "Candy"... 'Cause she tasted like sewage.
- Sully walks over to hold down a chain to open a door for Drake:
- Ironicus is rather incredulous about the appearance of the German U-Boat:Drake: Must've come up the river during flood-season and gotten stuck.
Ironicus: "Come up the river"? "Up the river" takes a 90-degree turn straight down.
Ironicus: You can't "come up the river"!
Chip: Well, I'm assuming, somehow, there's a river higher up (realizes how impossible it sounds) and it somehow fell down the waterfall? We're gonna go with that: It fell down here. It didn't go up.
Ironicus: Oh. I see!
Chip: Yes. Makes more sense that way.
Ironicus: Well, if it fell down, how did it get above it? It had to go upriver through this part of the river.
Chip: I dunno. It's just there.
Ironicus: It's not "just there"! It seems to be the most interesting thing in the game so far.
- When Drake cracks a joke about calling for Sully if he encounters any Nazis inside the U-Boat:Ironicus: The Nazis perfected repulsorlift technology.
- Becomes a Brick Joke when Drake happens upon another water stream:Ironicus: What is a Soviet ICBM during in this stream?!
Chip: (laughs) Well, it just went "upriver".
Ironicus: (chuckles) That'd make sense, 'cause they can fly.
- Then quite a bit later they hit the chapter named "Going Upriver":Ironicus: The game will just not let me forget about that!
- When Drake cracks a joke about calling for Sully if he encounters any Nazis inside the U-Boat:
- Chip points out how the length of Elena's shorts (which goes just slightly past her knees) bugs him. Ironicus claims that he knows plenty of people who wear shorts like that.Ironicus: You know what this means now.
Ironicus: We're going to have to ask slowbeef to open up a poll about pants-length.
Chip: (stage sigh) I guess.
Ironicus: I guess.
Chip: Hurry, slowbeef! Chop-chop! Make a poll!
Ironicus: I'm calling in the favors... That you don't actually owe me!
- Ironicus starts quoting Doctor Who when the very British Big Bad appears on-screen. It comes a downright Brick Joke later on, when Drake makes an emergency jump from the crashing plane and gets his parachute stuck on an angel statue:Ironicus: Don't blink! Blink and you're dead.
Chip: (chuckles) I knew you were gonna say that right when you saw this.
Ironicus: (in a mock whiny voice) Shut up!
- Chip and Ironicus discusses the much talked-about Unfortunate Implications surrounding the vast majority of the enemies being non-white people:Ironicus: I'm pretty sure that it is the global political economy that is racist; forcing citizens of the global South into piracy and other, uh, "informal" labor. But, well, what do I know?
Chip: No, you don't know nothin'. This is racist. Did you see all those brown people? Did you see them? Getting shot? By a white man?
Ironicus: I saw them getting oppressed by neo-liberal globalisation.
- Which is then followed up a bit later during a fire-fight, when Chip explains how the shotgunner enemy works:Chip: Shotgun men are usually larger people and they usually have an eye-patch. For some reason.
Ironicus: Now, that's racist!
- Which is then followed up a bit later during a fire-fight, when Chip explains how the shotgunner enemy works:
- The guys comments on how architecture seems to crumble around Drake all the time.Chip: I'm surprised that the entire tower just doesn't crumble because he looks at it. He's a destroyer of architecture.
Ironicus: There is a reason they never let Drake into museums. It's not because he'd steal anything — although he would — he just has the worst luck.
- The game's somewhat absurdly high kill count receives quite a bit of commentary.
- When Drake exclaims a excited "Oh, yeah!" upon blowing some mooks up:Ironicus (as Drake): I love murder! Yes!
Chip: (laughs) Yeah, he's pretty cheerful for being a kinda dumb, but normal guy who's just murdering people.
Ironicus (as Drake): Talking to people are for pussies! Bleed fasteeerrr!
- When Chip has Drake man a turret:Ironicus: Now you're just enjoying this! This is sick and depraved. Sick and depraved.
Chip: Well, they're shootin' at me!
Ironicus: (laughs) No, they're not!
Chip: They had guns! I'm sure they were gonna intend to shot at me.
Ironicus: Maybe. You don't know that. Because they're dead.
- This bit:Chip (as Drake): I plead guilty to killing many, many, many, many foreigners. But it was in self-defense! I only killed 300 in self-defense; there were a lot of people who wanted me dead. I dunno why!
- As Elena and Drake try to find an escape boat:Elena: Looks like we missed our chance.
Drake: No, there it is. On the other side of the habor. C'mon.
Ironicus (as Drake): We killed all these people for nothing; let's kill those people now!
- When Drake exclaims a excited "Oh, yeah!" upon blowing some mooks up:
- After the car chase:Elena: Y'know, I should have turned before the bridge.
Chip: And gone right off a cliff?
Chip (as Elena): (cheerfully) Then we would be dead! We would have to worry about anything, Drake!
Ironicus: That would really be a short game.
- Chip getting interrupted by a baby:Chip: (laughing) Hi, Logan.
Logan: There's something under this bed!
Chip: There's nothing under that bed, Logan.
- When Drake reads the old shipping manifest:Elena: Whoa, reading 16th-century Spanish. Not just a grave robber after all, huh?
Ironicus (as Drake): I'm kinda making it up.
- Elena notices Drake's ring:Elena: That somebody special?
Drake: Huh? Oh, yeah, I guess you could say that.
Ironicus (as Drake): His name was Sully...
- Sometimes it is the small things; when Drake shoots a mook just as he is about to throw a grenade:Mook: EAT IT!
(Drake kills the mook causing him to drop the active grenade; the grenade proceeds to detonate right next to his corpse)
Ironicus: Excuse me, sir. I believe it is you who will be eating it!
- This reaction to the frequent Ragdoll Physics:Ironicus: The more ridiculous their deaths are, the more convinced I am that none of this is real. It's just an elaborate ruse put on to make— This is like a "Make-a-Wish" thing isn't it?
Chip: (laughs) It is!
Ironicus: Drake has terminal cancer.
Chip: It's just a wig he's wearing. He's suped up on many drugs right now, so he's actually capable of doing this.
Ironicus (as Drake): Before I die, I want to be a treasure hunter and have a grand adventure.
Chip (as Drake): I wanna kill as many pirates as possible. They killed my parents.
Ironicus: It's all, like, blanks and paint-balls and stuff.
Chip: These guy are just really good at, y'know, acting like they're actually dead. And also activating their spring-shoes when they get shot.
Ironicus: They got a whole bunch of Hollywood-stuntmen, cause, y'know, it's a good charity; they care about kids. He's-he's a mental child, honestly.
- When Drake stumbles upon the Nazis' film recording of the effects of El Dorado:Ironicus: (in old-timey narrator voice) Your Inca statue and you! Young boys at your age start noticing changes when in presence of Inca statues. For instance, you may begin wearing chains, covering your face in blood, and screaming for no reason. This is very exciting as you can well see! When you can use those to your advantage, it can really impress the ladies. Also, you learn wonderful dance moves. You'll be the talk of the town when you paint it red. With blood.
Chip: That was a great movie! I learned a lot about El Dorado.
- When Sully arrives in the boat after the boss fight:Drake: Sully! Wow. You-you look like hell.
Sully: (jovially) You should see the other guys.
Chip: (dryly) It's funny. You murdered them.
- Sully then reveals he filled the boat with treasure:Sully: Borrowed it off some pirates were too dead to care.
(Drake and Elena laugh)
Ironicus: Ha ha. You murdered them too.
Ironicus: You lovable log. Killing people and stealing their shit. For fun and profit.
Chip: But he's so charming, so it's okay.
- Sully then reveals he filled the boat with treasure:
- When the game opens on a Marco Polo quote:Ironicus: Does he also believe himself to be Marco Polo's fictional bastard son?
Chip (as Drake): Look, I was going through a thrift store and I found a ring that had Marco Polo written on it, so... He seems more relevant in today's media culture.
- The fact that Chloe rather closely resembles Farah from Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time invites a Running Gag of references to that game.
- The guys seeing Drake as a bit of a Know-Nothing Know-It-All:Chip: He acts like he knows a lot, but he doesn't really know. You can just throw a shiny penny at his feet and he thinks it's treasure.
Ironicus (as Drake): Oh, this is from 1987! That's ancient! A quarter that doesn't have a state on the back, ah!
Chip (as Drake): Oh, my god! A Canadian penny from the long lost land of Canadia! I remember when I found that place, and it was just full of cursed Canadians. Voiced by Steve Blum.
- When Flynn cracks a joke about being able to see Drake's house from the roof of the Istanbul museum:Ironicus: (nerdy voice) I had no idea that Drake lived in Turkey. This is a new fact that I will add to the Uncharted Wiki.
- When Drake remarks that the case containing the oil lamp is protect by an "acoustic alarm":Ironicus: An "acoustic alarm"? What? "Try not to harmonize too much or else it will go off, guys."
Chip (as Drake): The only we're going to be able to get this, is if we can shatter the glass with a really off-tune song.
Ironicus (as Drake): This is a four-man job! We need a barbershop quartet.
Chip (as Drake): Dammit it! Sully was great at this!
Ironicus (as Drake): He's the best baritone I ever knew!
- When Drake smashes the oil lamp to get at the clues inside it:Ironicus: Y'know, maybe your employer really just wanted the lamp and had no idea about that?
- Chip making fun of Blip TV and it's "repeat customer" advertisements.
- The many misadventures of Victor Goddamn Sullivan:
- His unique mixture of venereal diseases and advanced age have interacted with each other to turn him into "something reasonably like a vampire", Missing Reflection and all. It also made him into "basically a lizard", reliant on external cooling to maintain homeostasis.
- While speculating on whose home the crew are studying clues in, they decide it can't be Sully's, because his house is a giant rotating bed, with a disco ball in every room, a switch for releasing rose petals from the rafters, and every surface covered in bear rugs.
- He has a restraining order against him from the human race as a whole, and so had an ankle bracelet force field attached to him so that he can never get too close to anyone.Ironicus: You don't have a heart, Sully. They removed it with your testicles.
- The whole "Disneyland" bit, where it turns out Sully is so fond of this Unusual Euphemism for meth labs that Drake doesn't know about the theme park at all.
- Eventually, it turns out that in this continuity, Sully will eventually survive the apocalypse (by force of will or the venereal diseases again is a bit unclear) and be declared a god among men After the End.
- Sully: Enough of this frivolity, kid. C'mon, we got work to do.
Drake: What does frivolity mean?
Chip: It's not a super complicated word, Drake.
Ironicus: I like to be reminded that Drake's not very bright...
Ironicus: ...About everything, except ludicrous misinterpretations of history.
- This moment when Drake kills a mook:Drake: How's that feel!?
Ironicus: "How's that feel"? (laughing in disbelief) What?! Drake, no!
Chip: He has some, like, really monstrous things he can say sometimes. Um, I don't know if I've been recording it yet, but—
Ironicus (as random mook): It feels like I'm never going to see my daughter again, Drake!
Chip: There is literally one comment he says sometimes when you melee a guy to death, especially if you like kick him. Um, he'll say: "No kids for you!"
(Ironicus laughs in disbelief)
- When Sully and Drake have to jump off a cliff:
- Ironicus finding Chloe's Or Are You Just Happy to See Me? comment somewhat Fetish Retardant:Ironicus: If we hadn't just come off MGS4, maybe I wouldn't be quite so uncomfortable right now. But we did, and I am.
- Ironicus: Just imagine your infant son is trapped inside a burning building, Drake.
Chip (as Drake): Question: Does my infant son have treasure on him? This might make his life worth more to me.
Ironicus: Your infant son is 5000 years old and made of jade.
Chip (as Drake): Oh, my god! I have to save my son!
- Drake finds the room with the circuit breaker for the elevator:Ironicus: What is this, a meth lab? What is in those bottles? Get out of there, Drake! This is dangerous.
Chip (as Drake): Sully told me about these places. He said they were "blessed".
Ironicus: (chuckles) It's Sully's version of Disneyland.
(Chip and Ironicus laugh)
Ironicus (as Sully): The happiest place on Earth, kid!
Chip (as Drake): Don't Sully have Disneyland in his own house?
Ironicus: Those are the words Sully uses and Drake is very confused when he sees Disney commercials on TV. (as Drake) What are all these cartoon characters doing in a meth lab?
Chip: (as Sully) See ya later, kid. I'm going to Disneyland! (as Drake) Again?
Ironicus (as Drake): Why are all these people taking their kids to meth labs? Why is everybody surprised when football players get arrested for drugs, when they say it after every Superball?
- A brief discussion on the far-flung future religion of Sullysim:Chip: Let's climb the eyeball, and activate the eyebrow lever.
Ironicus: Oh no! It's aroused!
Chip: The secret puzzle is to make all four of the faces look like one of Sully's faces.
Ironicus: [with complete sincerity] That would be the best puzzle in the game.
Chip: [sighs] I really wish that was a puzzle, but it's not.
Ironicus: That's gotta be like, for the sequel where they go to the far future and Sully is revered as a god among men. [Beat] All these great cultures have risen up, and followed Sullyism.
Chip: There was a great cataclysm, and Sully was one of the few human beings to survive it, just because his body is used to surviving so many horrible things.
Ironicus: He refused to die, because you cannot sleep with pretty ladies in death. He willed himself to survive the apocalypse... just to get some of that ass.
- When Chip has Drake ditching the German machine gun:Chip: The MP40 — the German gun — sucks. It is a very bad gun.
Ironicus: Well, you know how German workmanship is.
Ironicus: Wait, that would mean the exact opposite.
- When Drake breaks the neck of a mook in a rather strange way:Ironicus (as Drake): No piggyback ride, no more heartbeat! That's the way it goes.
- Jeff just can't catch a break:Ironicus: [watching the firefight] How long have [Jeff and Elena] been fending off this entire rent-a-army? Goddamn Elena, good for you!
Chip: Well, you don't know, maybe Jeff is helping out—
Ironicus: No, he's not! He has a camera! Ohhh... I'm going to film this, and put it on facebook, and you're going to be so embarrassed, oohhh...Chip: Well, he could've taken a gun from a dead man... maybe. Jeff is resourceful like that.
Ironicus: No he's not! He's Jeff.
- And later:Chip: Oh, look at Jeff.
Ironicus: Is he napping? What the hell...
Chip: How does Jeff know he's the real one, and not the clone?
Ironicus: Because no one else would want to be Jeff.
- And later:
- When a mook suddenly jumps in and grabs Chloe:Ironicus: (laughing) What kind of a lunge was that?! Woob woob woob woob! We are getting attacked by stooges! Literal stooges!
- Chip: I might actually go back and record Nate and Jeff dying, because it's kind of funny.
Ironicus: [laughs] You're just as sadistic as Chloe, and you're butt isn't nearly as nice! You can't get away with that!
- Drake: (to the injured Jeff) All this effort, you'd think I had know you longer, huh?
Chip (as Drake): I love you, Jeff.
- Ironicus: There's a lot of grunting going on in this game. Rally, this whole game is a game of grunts... Coming soon to HBO.
Chip: Grunts of War. Call of Grunts.
Ironicus: "Call of Grunts" would just be a whole bunch of mini-games, just like Wolf Link and Midna howling. That's all it it would be. (proceeds to grunt out a song)
Chip: You played "Sully's Ballad". Warp to the closest penthouse.
- Elena: So, you got a plan B?
Drake: I'm working on it.
Ironicus: Kill everyone: Plans A through F.
Chip (as Drake): I have a plan G, that was different... But, uh...
Ironicus (as Drake): It involved finger puppets, and... just never mind, it wasn't going to work.
Chip (as Drake): Mirrors and smoke machines, Elena!
Ironicus (as Drake): I was going to convince them that I was Marco Polo, back from the grave.
- Drake: STOP SHOOTING ME!
Ironicus: What-what did he say?!
Chip: "Stop shooting me!"
Ironicus: (laughs) Yeah? Yeah, like you're the one to talk, Mr. Drake.
- Chip and Ironicus uses much of the train levels to throw around train-based Bond One Liners. Eventually it leads to this:Ironicus: "Don't mean to toot my horn, but you're dead.
Chip: (chuckles) If only you had a talk button for when you kill people and he just pulls out a little horn and honks it. "Honk honk. I gotcha! Honk honk."
Ironicus: No, that's for when they relaunch Doug as a gritty cover shooter. Just press the "Skeeter" button. (as Mr. Dink) Douglas! I made you a Skeet-seeking missile!
Chip (as Mr. Dink): Very expensive!
(Chip and Ironicus laugh)
Chip: You get all of your guns from him. He's the game's merchant. (as Mr. Dink) Whatta ya buyin', Douglas?
(Chip and Ironicus laugh for a solid 10 seconds)
Chip: (trying to suppress his laughter) Why is this so funny?
Ironicus: Everybody would be exactly like themselves, except Doug. He'd just be all over-the-top Max Payne.
- When Drake is gravely injured:Drake: I'm either gonna bleed out or I'm gonna climb out.
Ironicus: You're saying that like they both can't happen. You're going to bleed out and you might also climb out, that's the way it's gonna go down.
(the game cuts to a walking-through-the-hash-climate montage)
Ironicus: (with dramatic flair) And he walked for 40 days!
- Again, it is the small things, really:Drake: (to a boy in the Tibetan village) You listen to your mom, okay? Be a good boy.
Chip (as Drake): Don't become me.
- During the conversation with Karl Schäfer:Schäfer: So, they have beaten you, eh? Your question is over?
Drake: Yeah, that's right.
Schäfer: What if it only beginning?
Chip (as Schäfer): What if I'm just writing a movie trailer?
Schäfer: Trust me, young man — your ego will mend.
Chip (as Schäfer): ...This summer!
- Chip and Ironicus believe Tenzin can actually speak English perfectly fine, but he chooses not to, because he thinks it is funny to mess with Drake.
- After Jeff the cameraman is killed by Lazarevic, Chip and Ironicus give him the appropriate sendoff:Chip: He will live on in our— Not our hearts. We didn't like him that much.
Ironicus: He'll live on in your two videos.
Chip: He'll live on in...he'll live on in...my big toe. I don't really like my big toe, but I need it.
Ironicus: A true metaphor for Jeff.
- Drake is incapable of being sneaky.Elena: (to Drake) All right, just try to be subtle. We don't want to attract any unnecessary attention.
Chip (as Drake): What was that? What is that word? What is-what is that noise you just uttered in my direction?! What is "subtle"? Is it some kind of gun noise? Some kind of kind of new gun? A "subtle" gun?
- Even better, after the inevitable firefight, and everyone not a main character is dead, they briefly joke about how it's time to go back to being subtle again.
- After Schäfer dies:Elena: We can't just leave him.
Drake: What choice do we have? You heard him.
Chip (as Drake): (whispers) I really want to take that necklace though... That ring too, actually...
Ironicus (as Drake): He'd totally want me to have it!
Chip (as Drake): I mean, did you hear his death groan? He went: "Aurgh, Drake-take-my-ring-and-necklace!"
Ironicus (as Drake): Yeah, that's what I heard. I don't know about you, but that's what I heard.
Chip (as Drake): You say he didn't? No-no, Elena, I was closer to him; that's why I heard it and you didn't.
- Ironicus notices the rather careless way Drake treats some ancient objects which are involved in a puzzle:Ironicus: Just because it doesn't fit in your pocket, doesn't make it garbage, okay?
Chip: Well, it's not shining at all...
- When Lazarevic tries to blackmail Drake:Drake: All right, quit the theatrics!
Ironicus (as Lazarevic): "Theatrics"? How did you know? How did you I was not cast in high-school Music Man?! I killed everyone from my high-school! My greatest shame! I kill you now!
Chip (as Lazarevic): Drake, I will let you live, if you just listen to my song and dance number.
Ironicus (as Lazarevic): (while sobbing) ♪Seventy-six trombones led the big parade...♪
Chip: It's just a five-minute cutscene of Lazarevic dancing with tears in his eyes, as he relives all the bullies from drama high-school class.
- Chip and Ironicus are quite amused by the different treasure hunter titles in the achievements; they then hit one named "Consummate Treasure Hunter":Ironicus: So how many, uh, guys had to hit the thesaurus for these achievements?
Chip: (chuckles) They probably just have one intern who's whole job is coming up with crazy treasure hunting ranks.
Ironicus (as said intern): Um, um, sorry, but we need to include the word "consummate" for this to be labeled as edutainment. We can get tax breaks for that, y'know.
- Later, when Chip gets the final treasure hunter achievement:Ironicus: I missed it. What was the final adjective beyond "consummate"?
Chip: I think it's "master".
Ironicus: Aw, okay. I think it should something more esoteric. It should be the "Esoteric Treasure Hunter".
- Later, when Chip gets the final treasure hunter achievement:
- When Elena drops this comment about Shambhala:Elena: This place is so beautiful.
Ironicus: (in disbelief) This place is a shithole!
- After Flynn blows himself up:Chip (as Drake): Oh god! I have Flynn all over me! Gross!
- When Chloe protests as Drake tells her to rescue the injured Elena, while he goes off to confront Lazarevic:Drake: Look Chloe, I have to end this.
Chip (as Drake): He's the final boss, come on! I've gotta do it. Come on, he's the last part of the game.
Ironicus (as Drake): Anything I can do to bring the credits. The credits are her only hope! As soon as the credits roll, no one else dies!
Chip (as Drake): Look, I blew up a train, I can blow up a tree.
Ironicus (as Drake): I can blow up a man! I've blown up so many men!
Chip (as Drake): What is a tree, but a really big man?
- Chip and Ironicus jokes at one point that any one who gets probated from the Let's Play's forum thread should receive a free Jeff avatar. This comes back as a Brick Joke, when Lazarevic delivers his "Not So Different" Remark speech to Drake.Lazarevic: How many men have you killed? How many... just today?
Chip (as Lazarevic): Drake, I have addressed this so many on messageboards.
Ironicus (as Lazarevic): They gave me a Jeff avatar and everything!
Chip (as Lazarevic): I'm no Jeff, I'm bad guy!
Ironicus (as Lazarevic): Do you know the kind of shame I underwent?!
- Chip's intense groaning during Dangerous Hunts 2011's bullet-time segments."UUUUUGH, HEARTSHOT"
- Chip and Ironicus are quick to point out how similar the patrons of the pub in the introduction looks:Chip: All these men with similar faces and shaved heads. And hoodies. This is hoodie-night.
Ironicus: Did a rugby match just let out? Is this Agents 1 through 46? Is this what this is?
Chip: Uncharted 3 gets really weird.
- Chip's comments on Talbot's looks.Chip: When I see Talbot, I think he's just, like, an alternate dimension, like, slightly mutated Nathan Drake. Like, look at him. He kinda looks like Drake, but just a little weird. Like-like his face got warped a little.
Ironicus: He's the Evil Twin.
Chip: Yeah. You just don't know that 'cause he's shaved the goatee off.
- Ironicus quickly finding that Kate Marlowe loses some of her menace when she reveals a hidden knife in her umbrella.Ironicus: Waugh, waugh, waugh, waugh!
- Ironicus noticing the somewhat compromising way the injured and unconscious Drake and Sully lies next to each other:Ironicus: Why aren't they holding hands?!
Chip: They really should be holding hands as they die together.
- When Young Drake shadows Sully and observes him entering a building:Ironicus: Wait a minute; that's a brothel. That can't be what he is here for— What, no, yep. Yeah it is.
Chip: Oh no...
(Young Drake walks over to the window and sees Sully heading up stairs)
Chip: Oh, it's a multiple floor brothel? Okay. He's just rushing straight to the second floor, must be something great up there.
Ironicus: He got ten punches on his card. He just gets to go right in.
- Later when Sully tells Drake that he really should start carrying matches of his own "one of these days":Drake: What are you talking about?
Chip (as Drake): I'm always gonna have this old man with me. He will never die.
Ironicus: I mean, not permanently; he died like five times already.
Ironicus: He's always coming back. Like every time he dies, the Grim Reaper shows up and is: "It's Victor goddamn Sullivan!"
Chip (as the Grim Reaper): How are ya? It's been a thousand years since I last saw you.
Ironicus (as the Grim Reaper): Let me punch your Subway club card!
Chip: Sully has got a lot of cards that he is always getting punched. That dude is frugal as hell.
- Later when Sully tells Drake that he really should start carrying matches of his own "one of these days":
- When the younger Sully confronts the younger Drake about him pickpocketing him:Young Drake: I don't know what you're talking about, old man.
Sully: Hey. Don't call me that.
Chip (as Sully): Hey, I'm only twenty. I just aged very poorly.
- Young Drake reveals that even though he returned Sully's wallet, he kept the key in it:Young Drake: Telegraphing all my moves, huh?
Ironicus (as Young Drake): Nobody uses a telegraph! This is the 20th-century. Welcome to the 90's, old man!
Ironicus (as Young Drake): I'm gonna bust a sweet kickflip!
Chip (as Young Drake): I'm gonna listen to a 30 seconds song on my HitClips!
Ironicus: ♪Here I am, doing everything I can...♪
Chip (as Young Drake): Wow, that part was great! Let's listen to it again.
Ironicus (as Young Drake): Aw yeah, I'm gonna hawk that ring so I can buy myself a Game Gear!
Chip: Yes, buy a SEGA Game Gear. Clearly the correct choice. Look, you have to get 30 more treasures all the Double As you're gonna go through. And that's just for the first day.
- When Sully starts aiding the Young Drake in his escape from Marlowe's mooks:Ironicus: You've won him over with your incredible slight-of-hand.
Chip: (chuckles) Yeah, I know.
Ironicus: That's the whole reason Sully and him are together. He's just waiting to learn how to do the magic trick.
Ironicus (as Sully): (excited) Hey kid, do that one where you make the scarves come out of your shelve!
- Young Drake: (to Sully) You still haven't told me what you want from me.
Ironicus (as Sully): I need a wingman, all right? I'm getting older!
- The animation system leads Drake to run his hand along side a white van:Ironicus: Lovingly saying goodbye to the van.
Chip (as Drake): (whispering) Goodbye...
- When Drake and the gang discovers the hidden tunnel in the garage:Ironicus: (with dramatic flair) Welcome to Atlantis!
Chip: (nonchalant) Wow. That was real easy to find.
- After Drake and the others discover the letter from T. E. Lawrence:Ironicus (as Drake): I think I might— Can you just call me "Nate Lawrence"? I-I feel a real connection here.
Chip (as Drake): Yeah, wow, T. E. Lawrence. He's so much cooler.
- Later when Drake discovers a rather unorthodox hint to a puzzle:Ironicus (as Drake): My ancestor invented animation! I think I'm descended from Walt Disney, guys. I figured it out.
Chip (as Drake): We have to find the ancient temple where his head is held.
Ironicus: And his company now owns Indiana Jones...
Ironicus: Oh, my god!
Ironicus: It all makes sense.
- Later when Drake discovers a rather unorthodox hint to a puzzle:
- When Drake happens upon the old car outside the castle:Drake: (jokingly) Look, Sully, your first car.
Sully: Oh, man. That's a 1927 Auburn.
Chip (as Sully): I was 40 back then!
Ironicus: Sully's true age is a mystery. He's eternal.
- When Drake talks to himself out loud while hiding in a well just behind a mook:Drake: I gotta warn Sully...
Chip (as mook): What was that? Someone just said he gotta warn Sully, I wonder who that was...
(Drake stealth kills the mook by dragging him down the well)
Chip (as mook): Oh god!
- This Call-Back to the Uncharted 2 Let's Play, when Chip explains how the grenades work in the game:
- Sully: Which way now?
Drake: I'm not really sure.
Sully: Why don't we try going down?
Ironicus: That's what you always say, Sully.
Chip: Wow, Sully! I know we've been together for a long time, but...
Ironicus: They really are scripting him just for that joke that he makes everything sound dirty.
- When Drake and Sully stumbles upon a suspiciously quickly-decomposed body:Ironicus: (with a hint of weariness) It is way too early in the game for zombies.
- During the spider chase sequence:Ironicus: This is not something they mention at the French tourism board.
Chip: Yeah, well, y'know. I think a lot less people would show up if they told you there were giant-ass, incredibly dangerous spiders that swarm you and eat you alive. They also come with a nice bongo track.
Ironicus: (with a French accent) But at ze same time; our climate is lovely.
Chip: It really is nice otherwise. I mean, if you ignore the giant-ass spiders.
- Another great little moment, in the Syrian castle when the gang gets attacked by mook wielding rocket launchers:
- Chip shows off a bug that only tends to happen on older PS3s:Chip: Cutters' dialogue actually loads in half-a-second too late. There are a couple of issues with this game on really old PS3s, where—
Ironicus: (extremely facetious) Oh, what a buggy mess. I can't believe that it got released in that condition. They don't even care, these... these darn— It's-it's all about the money now at Naughty Dog.
Chip: Damn you, Naughty Dog! You sold out!
Ironicus: They used to be artists.
- When Cutter becomes Brainwashed and Crazy after being drugged by Talbot:Cutter: Get off! I won't let you take me!
Drake: Hey, nobody's taking you anywhere.
Chloe: Just, just come with us, okay?
Ironicus: (chuckles) I'm getting some mixed signals here.
Chip: "You're not being taken. You're coming with us. Uh, wait."
Sully: We can't stay here. We've gotta move.
Drake: Our only hope is to find the crypt entrance.
Ironicus: Yeah, that won't freak him out; dead people.
- When Cutter starts meekly protesting after the group finds the crypt entrance and enter it:Chloe: No, it's okay, Charlie. C'mon, mate.
Chip (as Chloe) It's fine, Charlie.
Ironicus (as Chloe): We're just gonna lock you in an underground death-vault. Don't worry.
- When Cutter starts meekly protesting after the group finds the crypt entrance and enter it:
- Another Call-Back when Drake has to help the group escort an injured Cutter:Chip (as Drake): Have to make up for that time I escorted Jeff in a similar way, but he died!
Ironicus: No, you don't have to make up for that. I think we can all thank you for that.
- When the escort of the injured Cutter starts to have gone on for some time:Ironicus: So are you gonna have to drag him all the way to the airport or something? Where's the endpoint of this?
Chip: The music's just going to keep playing, but we're just gonna be walking on a country road with nothing around us.
- When Drake and Sully discuss if they should call someone for help:Drake: What about—? No...
Chip (as Drake): No, I killed him...
- When Drake gets off the plane in Yemen, his way of dressing is rather unfortunate:Drake: How are you, Elena?
Chip (as Drake): (proudly) I came here, making sure I'd wear my dirtiest shirt!
Ironicus (as Drake): Just so you know, it's not special or nothin'. It doesn't mean anything, I'm-I'm filthy.
- Elena explains that they need to make their way to the old part of the town:Ironicus: "Taxi!" Level over.
Chip (as Drake): Oh, wait. I don't have any money to pay the fare.
Ironicus: (stage gasp)
Chip (as Drake): Will you take this treasure...?
Ironicus: Uh, Drake, that's a bottle cap.
- Ironicus: (reading off a sign) "Tourist hotel"? Is there another kind? Is there a "locals only" hotel? There might be; that'll be cool.
Chip: "No tourists allowed. Get outta here."
Ironicus: Like you just show up in flip-flops and they throw you out a window. "No! No! No fanny-packs!"
Chip: (chuckles) They smash all cameras on sight.
Ironicus: No, cameras are fine; it's those little wind-up, disposable Kodak ones...
Chip: Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Ironicus: They fucking hate those.
- Chip explains a bit of Real Life Writes the Plot:Chip: So, the unfortunate thing about Cutter; he wasn't originally supposed to break his leg and leave the story.
Chip: Cutter was supposed to be throughout the entire game. But because The Hobbit happened — and Graham McTavish was in The Hobbit at the same time Uncharted 3 was being developed — he just kinda had to vanish, so that whole broken leg thing kind of just erases him from the story. He does not show up anywhere else.
Ironicus: (clearly disappointed) He broke his leg so he could pop up out of a toilet?
- After some treasure hunting leads Drake to find two antique knifes:Chip: Drake has two knifes now. I kinda wish he'd dual-wield them or something.
Ironicus (as Drake): Some say time is like a river... I just wanna steal shit, who cares?
- Sully and Elena aren't the greatest helpers during a puzzle:Ironicus (as Drake): Aaanybody wanna lend a hand? Aaanyone?
Chip (as Drake): Anybody? Look, I figured it out, just go and get those! Come on!
Ironicus (as Drake): I promise it's super fun.
Chip: Look, you need to press the punch button to put them in.
Ironicus (as Drake): There is one left. Just one—
(Drake moves over to pick up the last piece)
Ironicus (as Drake): Goddammit, guys!
Chip (as Drake): Okay... Well, could you at least turn that thing while I'm put all of them in?
Ironicus (as Drake): Look, I'm really being— Look at how sweaty— I'm filthy!
Chip (as Drake): This is really hard to push!
- Upon encountering yet more giant spiders:Chip: So these spiders are far more angry than the other spiders we've seen. So they're not nearly as afraid of light, so you've gotta kinda burn them with the touch to keep them away. Get outta here!
Ironicus: They're Borg Spiders, they have, uh, adapted. You have to modulate the frequency of your touch swings!
- When Elena, Sully and Drake finds Francis Drake's final clue:Elena: Okay, so, let me get this straight: Drake sails thousands of miles looking for this "Atlantis of the Sands", and when he gets this far — what he finds here is enough to make him turn around, sail home, and hide all evidence of his voyage.
Ironicus (as Francis Drake): Look, Liz, Liz! I love ya, baby, honey! But this is bullshit! I'm out.
Elena: But, you — you're going to keep going, aren't you?
Drake: Uh, yeah.
Chip (as Drake): I'm cooler than my great-great-grandpa-dad!
Ironicus (as Drake): Look, I have an iPhone now, all right?
Elena: Listen; you've won, okay? You've outsmarted her. You know where to find the city and Marlowe doesn't.
Chip (as Drake): (petulant) But I haven't destroyed it yet!
Elena: Why can't that be enough?
Chip (as Drake): But it's really cool when it collapses!
- Drake picks up a treasure from a dinner table:Chip (as Drake): Hey, guys, what's up? Oh, did somebody leave this? (Drake picks up the treasure) I know exactly who left this.
Ironicus (as Drake): I will take this to the lost-and-found, yes?
Chip (as Drake): "Lost" is the name of my left pocket; "Found" is the name of my right pocket.
Ironicus: Oh man, that'd make great knuckle-tats if you're a polydactyl on one hand.
- Drake gets drugged and starts acting aggressively:Drake: (to Sully) Stay away! Stay away!
Ironicus: Nobody even gave him a suggestion; he just really hates Sully. His true self is coming out.
Sully: C'mon, son.
Drake: Don't touch me!
Sully: All right...
Elena: We just-we just want to help.
Drake: (backing away) Get away! Get away from me!
Ironicus: Dangle treasure in front of his face! He'll love you!
- As Drake starts tripping balls:Ironicus: It's a good thing they drugged him right in front of the entrance to this long hallway, that leads exactly where they want it to. Whew, whole plan could be ruined if there was a fork in the road.
- As Drake's model starts to distort:Chip (as Drake): I'm getting all skinny, then I'm getting all fat!
Ironicus (as Talbot): (creepy whisper) Drake, stop abusing the cheats menu.
- As Drake continues to stumble forwards:Ironicus: You know he's not in his right mind, because he hasn't bend over to pick up anything shiny.
Chip: Yeah. There was a vase he could easily have picked up, and he just kicked it out of the way.
- As Drake starts tripping balls:
- When Marlowe confronts Drake with her information on him:Drake: Skip the mind games.
Chip (as Drake): I don't know how to play them.
Ironicus (as Drake): I lack the prerequisite...
- When she comments on Drake's tragic backstoryMarlowe: (laughing) It's all so Dickensian.
Ironicus (as Drake): Note to self: Ask Cutter who "Dick Kenchian" is.
- Marlowe gets a message from Talbot:Marlowe: Well, we've located Sullivan on the other side of the city. I'm sorry, Nathan it seems—
Ironicus (as Marlowe): It seems at the dog-racing track. Should have been the first place we looked...
- When she comments on Drake's tragic backstory
- Chip and Ironicus discuss the chase scene with Talbot:Chip: This camera angle is — I'm pretty sure — from one of the Bourne movies. I'm pretty sure; haven't seen those movies in a while though.
Ironicus: Oh, hey, it's a great place to lift from. Especially for a case scene.
Ironicus: And there is no driving in Uncharted... Yeeet?
Chip: Yet? Uncharted 4 all about—
Ironicus: Uncarted, finally!
Chip: Yes, finally!
Chip: Hell, yes!
- Talbot tries to hide by keeping a low profile, but Drake spots him:Ironicus: How many other people in the city could possibly have that fashion sense? He could just throw on a coat and blend in with any of those random mooks.
Chip: Yeah. He could just put on some goggles, probably, and also be fine.
Ironicus: Taking off the stupid vest is always an option.
Chip: I'm sure he got a lot of vests too.
Ironicus: You know he's the kind of guy who does.
Ironicus: He's got a closet just for vests.
Ironicus: What a jerk!
Chip (as Talbot): My secret vest closet. No one can know.
Ironicus: I bet he's got a goddamn paisley vest!
- Talbot tries to hide by keeping a low profile, but Drake spots him:
- Ramses introduces himself by revealing that he can speak English:Ironicus (as Drake): Oh, good! I was afraid I would have to ask you to kidnap Elena so she could translate for me!
- Drake tries to put on a brave face in spite of Ramses' threats:Drake: Look, you can torture me all you want...
Ironicus (as Ramses): Okay!
The actual Ramses: Okay!
(Chip and Ironicus laugh)
- Then followed by:Ramses: We'll see if your friend is a little more... cooperative.
Drake: What?! Who?
Ramses: Your friend — Victor Sullivan?
Chip (as Ramses): I mean, he was already setting up the car battery himself.
- And then:Drake: Wait!
Ramses: No, no, no. You have given me no choice. Perhaps your friend will be more grateful for his life.
Ironicus: (as Ramses) Hey, Sully. Here's a bottle of scotch. (as Sully) All right, I'll tell you everything.
- And then:
- Later this exchange happens:Drake: You never had him, did you?
Ramses: Of course not! I Lied. Remember?
Ironicus (as Ramses): I'm pirate!
The actual Ramses: I'm a pirate!
(Chip and Ironicus laugh)
Chip: Oh, Ramses.
Ironicus: Can Ramses join the group?
Chip: I wish.
- Then followed by:
- While climbing around the ship graveyard Drake drops this comment:Drake: Gonna need a tetanus shot after this...
Chip: You don't say.
Ironicus: I'm sorry, we have been saying that for, like, three games.
- Drake spots a cruise ship in the ship graveyard:Drake: Nice. Must be Ramses' ship.
Ironicus: What? You think this two-bit punk has his own cruise ship?
Chip: (chuckles) Maybe they stole a cruise ship?
Ironicus: Drake, you got a real inferiority complex. You think everyone is so successful.
Chip (as Drake): (grumbling) All these pirates. Even they are cooler than me.
- Drake makes it to the ship graveyard radio tower, only to find it smashed:Drake: Ah, you've got to be kidding me! This place is a mess.
Ironicus (as a pirate): Yeah, we just fixed the thing that spin for fun. It doesn't really work.
Chip (as a pirate): We just got two guys at the bottom of it, just pushing these bars jutting out so it spins.
- As a fight on a rocky board throws off Drake's aim:Ironicus: If there is a Sully mode, this is what aiming is always like.
- Chip and Ironicus commenting the pirates showing brazen Suicidal Overconfidence, even as the ship is sinking:Chip (as Drake): Hey, hey, look behind you! Watch out!
Ironicus (as Drake): I don't think I'm your biggest problem, dude!
Chip (as Drake): How about we all just stop, and we all leave? And then we can shoot once we leave.
- After getting shipwreck, Drake comes to on a beach, next to the piece of wood he used to keep himself adrift:Chip: Nice body-plank, Drake.
Ironicus (as Drake): That's my waifu! ...My-my woodfu.
- An exhausted Drake stumbles into Elena's hotel room:Elena: Nate! (runs over to embrace him)
Ironicus (as Drake): (groggily) I need a drink! Anything!
Elena: I really though you were gone this time?
Ironicus (as Drake): Can I get a bed?!
- When Drake tries to chase a cargo plane on foot:Ironicus: Aw, this is just reminding me of Furious 6 and now it's making me sad.
(Elena drives in from the right to give Drake a lift in her jeep)
Ironicus: Aw, now it really is and that's making me super sad!
Chip: God, no!
- When Drake stumbles upon the village in the desert:Subtitles: It's a village. (laughter)
Ironicus: Village, laughter. That village is hilarious.
Chip: That's a damn funny village, look at that thing.
Ironicus: Yeah, yeah, that village knows what I'm talking about over here.
Chip: This village wearing sweatpants and murderous eyeballs? What's this thing doing?
Ironicus: Hey, imagine-imagine a village where everyone wears sweatpants. I could not leave fast enough.
- When Drake for some undisclosed reason decides that he can't drink the water at the bottom of the well he finds in the village:Drake: Ah, shit! It's undrinkable.
Chip (as Drake): Where are the gold-flakes? I can't drink this peasant water.
Ironicus (as Drake): Excuse me, I asked for sparkling water, with a cucumber slice.
- During the fight scene in the desert village:Ironicus: Even with being on the verge of death, you're still doing all right.
Chip: (chuckles) Yeah, Drake doesn't need that much water. Like that water he drank, that's good for another week.
Ironicus (as Drake): One of my ancestors was Sir Francis Drake, the other was a camel. Different side of the family, I'm not implying anything toward—
Chip: He hides his hump well.
Ironicus: Yeah, that's why he settled down with a sweet girl like Elena; she wouldn't judge him for it.
Ironicus: Chloe, man, the jokes never stopped. She just didn't understand how self-concious he could be in the quiet moments.
Chip (as Drake): Nobody understands my hump-plight.
Ironicus (as Drake): My humps. My humps! My humps! (sobbing) My humps...
Chip (as Drake): Oh, god, my humps... No...
- Ironicus notices that Drake's Bedouin allies has a strange good grasp of American idioms:Chip: All these guys knows a whole bunch of weird idioms. All these guys are like "Look, he's straight ripping! Look at that guy! I just made up that one!"
Ironicus: "This new guy is a baller!"
Ironicus: (as a Bedouin) I've heard this Drake guy is a "ho fo' sho'"! (as another Bedouin) No, no, dude, no. That's the wrong one.
Chip (as a Bedouin): What? What does that one mean? I thought it means he's cool.
- Sully: Nate, you gotta get on that other switch!
Ironicus (as Drake): What do you think I'm trying to do?! Come on!
Chip (as Drake): Yeah, grandpa, I'm just climbing for the hell of it!
Ironicus: Dang it, grandpa.
Chip: My favorite visual novel.
Ironicus: Don't you even start with me.
- When Drake and Sully open the gates to Ubar:Sully: Ha, ha... It worked!
Drake: In the words of Victor Sullivan, "I'll be go to hell!"
Ironicus: Victor Sullivan, did you have a stroke during those words?
- Ironicus noticing that Drake has yet again pulled a Nice Job Breaking It, Hero:Ironicus: Okay, so we got here with a splinter of the caravan that got split.
Ironicus: Which means we are ahead of Marlowe and other named bad guys.
Ironicus: And you opened the door for them?
Chip: ...Pretty much.
Ironicus: Goddamn it, Drake!
- The fact that the Ubar level has enemies that are on fire, prompts some Ghost Rider references:Ironicus: I had no idea the Nicolas Cage Fan Convention had such powerful mercenaries in attendance.
- A funny-looking treasure prompts this discussion:Ironicus: Oh, you found Proto-Buddha.
Ironicus: It's an early work in progress. It's-it's Buddha concept-art.
Chip: "Look, we don't have much to show this year, but we have this concept Buddha. Just bear with us and by 2016, he'll probably be out."
Ironicus: Yes, at the International Religion Expo.
Chip: Boy, I can't wait to see what new religions they have thought up this year!
Ironicus: Aw, it's more sequels!
Chip: All these Triple-A Religions...
Ironicus: Are cults just indie-religions? Is that what this is?
Chip: Maybe, yeah. Any cults got Kickstarters going?
Ironicus: (chuckles) You know the answer to that.
Chip: "Look, we're making our cult in Twine. I know it's pretty basic, but..."
- When Sully takes a special gun from a crate:Sully: Ha, ha... Sweet! I'm holding on to this.
Ironicus: Sorry, Drake. You do not get the gun. You have enough guns
Chip (as Sully): I can never have enough guns!
Ironicus: (channelling Mr. Plinkett) Tweet me if you want a gun-flavored pizza-roll.
- When Drake asks Sully if he has swallowed any of the hallucination.inducing water:Sully: I don't think so.
Chip (as Sully): I drank a ton of it!
Ironicus: You think his brain could actually come up with worse things that he has seen and lived through?
Chip (as Sully): I heard everybody talking about "the Jannah", I figure this is where it was.
Ironicus (as Sully): Tasted pretty weak though.
- When Talbot lets out a rather underwhelming Big "NO!" upon the death of Marlowe:
- Sully gives a speech about having been a father figure to Drake:Sully: I hit fourty, I figured I was never going to have a son of my own. Hell, I never wanted one. What the hell do I know about raising a kid? Then you came barrelling into my life.
Ironicus (as Sully): Good thing that the nuns did the hard part; you were already fifteen. It is kind of smooth sailing from there.
Chip (as Sully): All I had to teach you was how to drink.
- Ironicus' Running Gag of singing the James Bond theme whenever something Bond-like happens.
- When the intro credits plays, showing scenes from the other three game in the series:Ironicus: You can definitely tell this is a highlight reel, 'cause no Jeff.
- When Nate picks up a quite underwhelming "treasure":Chip: That's not a treasure. That's an arcade token, Drake. What are you doing?
Ironicus: It's shiny, it's treasure. That's the law.
- Later, when Drake picks up a cup he found in alley:Ironicus: Somebody just left that! That's just a coffee cup!
Chip: Look, Nate picked this up next to a dumpster. He just picked up a piece of trash and called it a "treasure".
Ironicus: That's not what treasures am!
Chip: Y'know, he has gone a little bit too long; he's freaking out a little, so he just decided this piece of crap is a treasure now.
(Nate plants his hand on a sign as he walks past it)
Ironicus: Sully wants no part of it; he's not going to congratulate him, that's why he had to high five that sign instead.
- Later, when Drake picks up a cup he found in alley:
- When Drake examines the doubloon from the U-boat in the first game:Chip: It even came from upriver. I don't even known—
Ironicus: Don't you start.
Ironicus: Don't you start!
- When Nate plays Crash Bandicoot with Elena, the LP suddenly Genre Shifts into a Retsupurae. Apparently Nate's YouTube handle is DeviousDrake69.
- When the Drake brothers reunite:Chip (as Sam): Now, about all this treasure I heard you found...
Ironicus (as Sam): I'm looking for some shiny blue rocks...
- Ironicus asks, seeing how both Nolan North and Troy Baker has a role in the game, if Robin Atkin Downes also going to show up. Chip says he does, eventually. When Downes' character actually shows up, Ironicus drops this comment:
- The Drake brothers are waiting for "a sign" from Sully, and Sam complains that he haven't seen one yet:Chip (as Nate): Sam, it's gonna be a little different — "signs" from Sully is more of an ethereal thing now, he no longer has a body.
Ironicus: It's like "Lord give me a sign!", but instead, y'know, it's "Victor".
Chip: You're going to have to wait for some ectoplasm to fall from the sky, that's usually Sully these days.
- When Sam zips up Nate's jumpsuit and tells him to keep his tuxedo clean, Drake almost immediately zips it down again afterwards:Chip (as Nate): (sulky) But I wanna be a little dapper repairman...
- In Episode 5, the Drake brothers have a conversation about Nate needing to show Sam his drawings when they get back. Chip (as Drake) takes it further, telling Sam he'll have to start with his Original Character Drakeus, part-dragon and part-Olympic athlete, who got sorted into Slytherin but is still a good guy. This leads to a lot of Harry Potter references throughout the rest of the video.
- Hell, they even mention Drakus In Leather Pants!
- Sam fusses about his tuxedo:Sam: How do I look?
Nate: Like four hundred million bucks. Let's go.
Ironicus: Sam, you look like, I dunno, four hundred thousand, at best.
- When Sam is unable to identify a cell tower:Chip: Sam had no idea what a cell tower was. Sam, do you know what the internet is? Or Facebook? Sam, have you heard about "dabbing"?
Ironicus: Sam has no need for this. Sam is, perhaps, the most pure person in the entire cast for he knows no meme.
Chip (as Nate): All right, Sam, we've gonna have to start way at the beginning. Let's talk about "fads" and "YTMND".
- Ironicus gushing over the Scenery Porn in Episode 7:Ironicus: This foliage. This shitty, Scottish foliage. It's awful! I love it!
- Chip and Ironicus imagining Nate writing a vengeful poem against Rafe:Chip: Rafe, Rafe,
You really make me... chafe.
Ironicus: Just because you have money,
Doesn't mean your jokes are funny.
My brother died and you didn't understand,
But you have exclusive rights to the Scottish land.
- Chip demonstrates how its possible for the player to leave a combat area without killing all the mooks and how this will affect some other areas further down the line. He does this by having Nate effectively leaving Sam behind in the middle of combat:Ironicus: Also, you left your brother behind so he can get killed again, I can't help but notice...
Chip: Sorry, Sam!
Ironicus: Look, that one time was an accident. It is not proof of immortality.
- Chip and Ironicus gets into some musing on Nate's One-Man Army status versus the Suicidal Overconfidence of the mooks he encounters:Ironicus: I wonder what would happen if these people knew they were going after treasure, that Nathan Drake is also after. Would they react like they were being hunted by Jaws?
Chip: Maybe. Like, yeah, it's, uh—
Ironicus: Everybody would try to punch Rafe in the face, so they could get fired and go home.
Chip: Yeah, I feel, at this point, Drake has done the things he does — when you count the Vita game — four times. Everybody— His name is probably known pretty well for being, y'know, that dude who ended an entire PMC by himself, basically. With some help from his buddies.
Ironicus: I think there is a big fat file on him with, like, US Intelligence Services about how he ended piracy in the Pacific. They just ran out of pirates.
Chip: Y'know, this guy might be a force for good, or at least— (as Intelligence worker) All right, we're going to have a honey pot operation, that is literally a sacred honey pot from ancient civilisation. We just put that where ever we need people to be killed...
Ironicus: The CIA has done dumber things in its history.
Chip: (laughing) That's true!
- Sully: All right, I'll the pouch light on for ya.
Ironicus: By "pouch light", he means his pants.
Chip: Ah, the old pouch light.
Ironicus: He calls his pants "the pouch light", because if they are not on, that's the sign no kids are allowed to come trick-and-treating. No. No, no, no.
Chip: (laughs) You probably shouldn't go trick-and-treating at Sully's house anyways, 'cause he's just going to give you chewing tobacco.
- When Nate wishes he had a trampoline:Ironicus (as Nate): They kill so many people. I would love to have a trampoline.
Chip: (chuckles) Oh, my god, no. Imagine if Drake had a trampoline; he could do that from-the-air punch move any time he wants.
Ironicus: Ohohoho, wow!
Chip: Right? That's probably—
Ironicus: No one in the neigborhood would safe.
Chip: Yeah, nobody would be safe. That's why he doesn't have one, 'cause it would be too dangerous to the public.
Ironicus: The Homeowners' Association will not allow it.
Chip: The higher he bounces, the-the greater the, uh, radius around him they have to evacuate people.
- When Nate tries to stall awkward questions from Elena by claiming that Jamerson is calling him over, and Elena pulls a worried face afterwards:Ironicus (as Elena): (sounding pissed off) Jamerson's house is being fumigated; he's crashing in our guestroom, Nate. I texted you.
Chip (as Nate): I done fucked up!
- Mercenary: Don't let up! They're tapped in here!
Ironicus: No, no, you are trapped in here with them.
- When Nate petting some cows causes Sully be distracted leading him to accidentally bump into a woman carrying some lemons and then helping her pick them up:Ironicus: Aw, look: you helped Sully get a Meet Cute, good job. Those are the best lifestock ever.
Sully: You see the way she looked at me?
Nate: (laughs) You are delusional.
Sully: (sing-song) I don't think sooo...
Nate: Well, why don't you invite her back for some spicy bread?
Ironicus (as Sully): Kid, my bread ain't been spicy for thirteen years, and you know that.
Chip (as Sully): I'm lukewarm.
- After Nate and Sully smashes through a Fruit Cart during the car chase scene:Ironicus: I'm just looking for the pair of guys carrying a plate glass window.
- In Episode 14, Chip gives his own interpretation of what must be going through Nate's head when he sees Elena waiting for them in their hotel room in King's Bay.Chip (as Nate): I fucked up I fucked up I fucked up I fucked up I fucked up I fucked up!
Ironicus: Hell yes!
- Elena: Was there... ever... a Malaysia job?
Ironicus (as Nate): Well, yeah, I just never went there.
Chip (as Nate): The-the concept exists.
- Chip and Ironicus are rather incredulous about Sam's claim that Elena will forgive Nate for lying to her.Sam: Listen, little brother... She will get over it.
Chip (as Sam): Says, I, a man who just met Elena thirty minutes ago.
Ironicus (as Sam): I have spend the past fifteen years only around criminal men.
- Ironicus finds the scenery in the boat level strangely familiar:Ironicus: I can't believe Captain Avery hid his treasure in the opening level of Sonic 06.
Chip: Oh no!
- And another entry in a Running Gag for the Uncharted LPs pops up when Nate comes across Burns' letter:Ironicus (as Nate): Sam, what if we aren't descended from, uh, Sir Francis Drake who never had any children, but this Burns guy? He seems way more like us.
- When Sam complains about forgetting to bring extra socks with all the swimming him and Nate gets up to:Nate: Wet socks'll keep you cool. C'mon.
Ironicus: Wet socks are the worst thing in the world, and you have never less relatable, Nathan Drake.
Chip: Wet socks are pretty fucking bad though.
Ironicus: I prefer Sam. Let's play as Sam, forever now. He knows what's what.
- Chip points how the follow-the-arrows puzzle somewhat strains plausibility:Chip: Here-here's the ridiculous thing; so, y'know, he— Sam presses that first chevron thing that opens up the window, and they notice that first arrow. That arrow is, like, mechanically pushed out from underneath the ground. And so are all the rest.
Ironicus: (chuckles) Wow!
Chip: Yeah, the mechanics—
Ironicus: Why did these guys need to steal? They could just have build shit for people, for lots of money.
- Nate takes a moment to reflect how everything in his life seems to falling apart around him:Nate: But, on the bright side, there's no one around to tell me I'm an idiot.
Ironicus: Hey, hey, guess what. This is a Let's Play, you're an idiot.
Ironicus: I'm never leaving.
Chip: Oh no!
- When Nate struggles to get ashore on the island after the game has caught up to the How We Got Here:Ironicus: The glowing blue ghost of Jeff urges him back to the living. (as Jeff) Don't be like me, man. Don't be like me.
Chip: When you encounter Jeff, you have to tread through a river full of all the people Drake has killed. Which takes about three years to walk though.
- When Nate wakes up in a cave:Chip: Okay, so, like, Drake wakes up in a wet cave, in the middle of nowhere.
Chip: Do you think this is the first time this has happened to him, or do think anytime he gets drunk, this is what happens the morning after?
Ironicus: He was really confused when he woke up in a alley one time, like: "Oh, right, I moved to the suburbs. There aren't any dank caves. This is what we have here. Okay."
- The duo theorizing that Nate probably would not be the best parent:Ironicus: See, combat like this proves why Drake shouldn't have kids. 'Cause for him, like, peek-a-boo is a bloodsport. Like—
Chip: Yeah, it's that—
Ironicus: That child would not see its second birthday.
Chip: Drake doesn't peek-a-boo to surprise. He does it to kill. I feel like Drake doing, like, the, y'know, tossing your baby up into the air and catching it would also be a bad thing.
Ironicus: He'll toss the baby up in the air, swing on grappling hook, and catch the baby on the other side of a chasm.
Chip: Yeah, Drake would pitch that baby like a baseball.
- Chip and Ironicus wondering how pirate shops would have worked:Ironicus: The stores all sold out of eyepatches.
Chip: Yes, it's another year of eyepatch shortages at Libertatia.
Ironicus (as a pirate): It's the one problem with our perfect utopia.
Chip (as a pirate): We just can't make enough of 'em!
Ironicus (as a pirate): Somehow, we manage to have a surplus on hooks. Turns out that 'un is just a harmful stereotype. Not exactly true.
- During the flashback in Episode 20, Ironicus accidentally predicts a certain Diabolus ex Machina moment.(Sam and Nate help Evelyn to her feet as the police arrive)
Ironicus: (grunts) And she dies right there.
Chip: Oh no!
Ironicus: And Sam gets put away for her murder.
(a few seconds pass)
Chip: Yeah, about that...
(Evelyn keels over dead from a heart attack)
Ironicus: OH, COME ON!
- When Elena punches out a mook:Ironicus: So remember, when Nate says "I'd better be home soon, or my wife is going to kill me," he super means it.
- When Nate drops this comment to Elena:Nate: At least I didn't... Well see... I... At least I didn't lie again.
Elena: Mmm hmmm.
Chip: That's a consolation price, Nate.
(Chip and Ironicus laugh)
Ironicus (as Nate): See, I only lied about Scotland once.
Chip (as Nate): I've stopped lying to you, after lying a lot.
- When Nate and Elena passes a Death Trap unharmed:Nate: And... Unclench. Woo.
Ironicus: (creepily) Hey, Nate. Tell me about your clenching.
Chip (as Nate): Well, sometimes there nowhere else to keep treasure, and I don't wanna leave one behind... You know, that commemorative plate...?
- When Nate and Elena encounters the exploding mummies that Avery left behind, the duo realizes that it is A Good Name for a Rock Band.Ironicus: I don't know if you have heard this hot, new indie band, The Exploding Mummies?
Ironicus: They're gonna blow up at any time. Trust me.
Chip: Oh, man. That's why every time they have a concert, you really know you gotta go, 'cause it could be the last one.
- When Nate and Elena comes across the poetically strung up body parts, Chip and Ironicus tries coming up with alternatives:Ironicus: "The legs that didn't jump when I said to."
Chip: Uh, hmmm... "The feet that... didn't dance the way that is customary here."
Ironicus: "The minds that were closed to my vision."
Chip: "The tongues that didn't like my cooking!"
Ironicus: "The hips that did lie."
Chip: Oh no! "The butts that didn't sit when I said so! Sit down, it's time for dinner!"
Ironicus: No, "The ass that did quit", come on.
- When Nate and Sully reunite with Elena and Sam:Ironicus: Wait, no, no, I-I'm wrong. The epilogue is definitely Sully and Sam getting into a knife-fight to the death to be the godfather of Elena and Nate's first kid.
- When Sam tries to covience Nate to continue the pursuit of the treasure the game really starts cracking up the bluntness of its symbolism:Sam: Okay, Avery scuttled every last ship on this island. You know why?
Elena: Because he was hell-bent on keep his treasure...
Elena: ...No matter the cost to those around him.
Chip (as Sam): (whiny) Oh, don't put the symbolism in my face like that! I just want the treasure!
Sam: How long have been chasing this thing? You and me. No offense to these guys... But they don't get it.
Nate: Actually, Sam, they do. They really do.
Nate: Trust me, they have seen this kind of obsession before. But Sam, we're not those kids anymore. We're not. And we got nothing to prove.
Ironicus (as Sam): But what if mom's ghost is in the treasure, Nate? What if mom's ghost is in there!?
- When the party has resolved to go Screw This, I'm Outta Here:Chip: All right. If there is one nitpick I have with this game that I wished changed— That I wish could be changed is, uhm... So, you know, Nate is over the adventure and treasure stuff; he just wants to go home.
Chip: But you can still pick up more treasures.
Ironicus: Well, if they're on the way...
- When Sully points up a place he claims is to high up to climb:Ironicus: Totem pole formation!
Chip: Yeah, I was about to say, "There are four of us. We can totally do this."
Ironicus: "All right, which ones of us where cheerleaders in high school?" All four raise their hands.
Chip: (laughs) It's Sully's secret passion.
Ironicus (as Sully): I did it to meet girls. I met, like, a dozen of them, it was great!
Chip: Even to this day, Sully will just run into a football and start cheerleading along with the cheerleaders.
Ironicus (as Sully): It was how I learned to be aggressive. And how to spell "aggressive".
Chip (as Sully): It's also how I learned to run from the cops.
Chip: Whenever Sully would induct some new child he found into being, like, a criminal, I'm sure that was, like, his training regimen was just doing that, because it combines so many skill sets you need.
Ironicus (as Sully): I need you to pick my pocket and do a backhand spring, and then do both at the same time.
- Chip: Nate's going to become, like, some kind of guidance counselor after this, and all of his trust exercises are going to be based around all the awful things he did when he was younger. It's just all going to pulling each other up ledges and, y'know, not betraying each other for the hypothetical treasure.
Ironicus: Yeah, there's a lot of Prisoner's Dilemmas in his sessions.
Chip: Yeah, its a little unethical, but it, I mean, it gets results in the end.
Ironicus: Yeah, that's what we need. We need a loose canon guidance counselor. "Turn in Your Badge and your gun! For one thing, you shouldn't have a gun, ever!"
- How about Metal Gear Solid by Chip and VoidBurger:Chip: (as Snake) I came to see Mother God and the opening act was just a bunch of people screaming into a saxophone!
VoidBurger and Chip: For two hours!
Chip: (as Snake, during Naomi's going on about how FOXDIE kills people) Well, Naomi, that's... pretty cool. Why don't you... you know, tell me about it later... when I don't have a really hard co- really hard cot- God dammit. Really hot card!
Void: (snickering) You almost said "really hard cock," didn't you? Cause that's what I heard.
Chip: I said cot, but yes.
Void: (laughing) But yes.
Chip: Got cock on the mind.
(both crack up)
Void: Stick your dick into the computer. By accident. (as Snake) "Why is it not working?!"
Chip: (as Snake) It should be hot enough.
- From the Ocelot Battle:Ocelot: I love to reload during a battle! There's nothing like the feeling of slamming a long silver bullet into a well-greased chamber...
Chip: Ocelot, you're too old!
Void: Grandpa, no!
Chip: Grandpa, don't tell me about your sex escapades.
- Their merciless ribbing of Otacon's nerdy tendencies.
- Part 12 starts with the duo pretending that Shadow Moses is some sort of school setting and that the elevators down to Vulcan Raven's boss arena are heading to the food court. Chip jokes at the start that he's a baby about his food, so he's going for chicken nuggets in the shapes of dinosaurs - and then, once ravens start flying around the elevator, Chip starts shooting Stinger missiles at them, claiming that he got impatient and as such is going to make his own chicken nuggets.
- This exchange from the end of part 8-1:Chip: (imitating Ocelot) "I'm gonna put on a great song for ya!" (electric torture starts) "Surprise it's Limp Bizkit!" (laughter) "I got you good! Coming up next with some Radiohead, get ready!"
Void: "Do you like Creep?"
Chip: "Here it comes, it's a great song!" (more torture) "I got ya again it's the Insane Clown Posse!"
Void: Aw! If he puts on Bieber, Snake's just gonna die.
Chip: Maybe I'll dub that music in.
Chip: Maybe. ...Eh, probably not.
- Chip showing off the Easter Eggs with the glamour posters:
- Chip making a Codec call to Otacon while Snake stares at a poster:Chip: (as Snake) Otacon! Look at this!
Otacon: (as he speaks, Snake's face camera shows him obviously having A Date with Rosie Palms) What do you think you're doing, Snake? Don't have enough to keep you busy? Try to remember the mission, if you can.
Chip: (as Snake) I'm sorry, Otacon! I'm just a chronic masturbator during sneaking missions. You don't know how it is to be a soldier; you have to masturbate constantly!
Ironicus: (as Otacon) Snake, they'll trace your DNA!
- Chip demonstrates how tapping the crouch area of the posters triggers an alert:Chip: Do not tap her crouch. (proceeds to do so, causing an alarm) Or else, all the "nice guys" who want to go out with her immediately teleport to the room.
Chip: (as Otacon) All the "nice guys" are coming in, they're all gonna get really upset that you almost got laid, but they never do, even though they really think they should because they are so "nice". (in normal voice) But they won't clear this room because they got distracted by that poster in that locker.
Ironicus: (in a whiny voice) It is because I'm not on the football team, isn't it?! ...They're really not that nice, if they're here to defend the honor of that lady but they get so easily distracted by other lady.
- Chip making a Codec call to Otacon while Snake stares at a poster:
- Strut A Pump being literally read as "strutting a pump", and the various alterations of the same sentence.
- Anytime they mention "strutting' but in particular:Chip: COMMENCE THE STRUTTING!
- Anytime they mention "strutting' but in particular:
- Chip and Ironicus being endlessly amused by Stillman's Narmy "I killed mah SOUL!" and "I defused mah sins!" lines, to the point of using them as a Running Gag.
- After the Fission Mailed screen."'Emit.' 'Continent.' All of South America will erupt from your ass!"
- Anytime they do an impression of Ocelot.
- Ironicus summarizing what the Patriots actually are:Ironicus: The Patriots are basically a bunch of stoned eighth-graders who come up with shit like: "Wouldn't it be cool if...?" And then they have limitless resources to make it happen.
- Making jokes about Solidus' impressive dodging skills during the final boss battle, which leads to this discussion:Ironicus: (as Snake) I forgot to mention — my brother...is a limbo master! That's how they decided primary elections in the future of Metal Gear.
Chip: Aside from expositioning.
Ironicus: If it was all exposition, then we would have President Ocelot by now.
Chip: And every time there's, like, a State of the Union, it'd just be him going (Ocelot voice) "I tricked all of you, America! I tricked you into thinking that I tricked you! And then I tricked you again! Bet you didn't see that one coming!"
- The Brick Joke in the last video where Raiden's dogtag reads:Name: Suck My Dick
Born in: Yugoslavia, 06/09-1969
- In the final battle, Chip intentionally waits for Snake Eater to start playing to...put on the Monkey Mask and beat the crap out of The Boss.
- Earlier in the LP, Chip is demonstrating the use of The Pain's camo pattern to command personal attack bees."I gotta thank you Japanese people, for making a game where I can distract people with frogs... and I can also do this following trick. (lays down in the grass, sprays knockout gas to attract a guard) 'What? There's smoke there! Let's investigate the smoke!' (drops a book) 'Ah, there's a porno mag! Nevermind!' (the bees attack the guard) 'OH NO! BEES!'"
"That's the oldest trick in the book! It's called the... Smoke... Switch-It-With-The-Book-Then-Get-'Em-With-The-Bees Switcharoo!"
- Any involvement and mention of Mission J. Frog, especially his acquiring of an eyepatch and his sacrifice against Volgin.
- Chip and Ironicus discussing the reason Jack became a legend not because of his supreme skill, but because he's the most unconventional soldier. After watching Chip play and succeed as a complete lunatic, it only gets funnier.Ironicus: (as a random soldier) Will it be porn? Am I going to go the porn way, like my friend who I was in training with? Maybe, maybe I'll have a log fall on my head? He's never gotten that one to work, but still I've heard stories!
Chip: (as another soldier) I hope he doesn't drop my body so all my items pop out!
Ironicus: Maybe he'll dump me in quick saaaand! Or push his glasses up his nose and completely fool me!
- Anything with Caveman Snake.Snake: Snake never have childhood. Snake finally learn to Ding Dong Ditch. (guard opens door) Hahaha this great fun.
- Upon catching the Tsuchinoko.Ironicus: Snake become zookeeper!
Chip: I'M GONNA NAME HIM "GEORGE"!
- Upon catching the Tsuchinoko.
- Chip attempts to toss a white phosphorous grenade through a wall gap at foot level of an enemy soldier on the other side, only for the misaimed grenade to bounce of the side of the wall and land right in front of Snake, setting himself on fire. Even better is the soldier he was trying to throw it at completely fails to react.
- The first four or so minutes of part 21 are a beautiful thing. From showing EVA's reaction to the fake death pill, to setting out the (packaged) corpse of Mission J. Frog to remind her that "he died for your sins" (which Ironicus compares to that scene from Lady and the Tramp due to Snake and EVA's positioning), to synchronized vomiting when Chip rambles about repopulating humanity or something, and then holding EVA up with CQC to get her to give part of the Konami Code...Ironicus: There's just a bunch of vomit on the ground there, it's awesome.
Chip: (holding up EVA) Say things...
Ironicus: You're walking in your own vomit!
Chip: That's not the worst thing I've done! This is the worst thing I've done, I think!
EVA: (after being let go) Stop shooting me!
Chip: I never shot you! That was a knife, not a gun! (goes into weapon box, equips the Mk. 22) This is a gun! (shoots EVA right in the forehead to tranquilize her)
- Look no further than the second part of the LP, wherein Chip spends two minutes dicking about with the "crawl more slowly" move introduced in the game, all of it set to the Portable Ops theme integrated with the Metal Gear Solid theme, all culminating in Snake somehow dying three times in a row, only for it to be All Just a Dream. Ironicus even lampshades it:Ironicus: So, what's it like to peak in your LP in the second update?
- Ironicus' uncontrollable laughter-into-tears.
- When they had Snake spin in a circle at sonic speeds.
- All of this starts when Chip shows off the mechanic of handing over rations and other items to the militiamen in the chapters they're present in, and the one he demonstrates this is so impressed that he hands Snake a song for his iPod.Ironicus: How do you hand someone an MP3? How do you put bits and boops in a box?
- The first actual boss fight: Laughing Octopus at one point disguises herself as Naomi. Chip responds by shooting her with an RPG-7.Chip: "Too bad you picked the character I hate!"
- Chip mentions that the non-lethal ammo for the shotgun only annoys enemies beyond point blank range, and the pair begin to wish that there was an "Annoyance" mood to go with the ones in game. Ironicus suggests that "ANNOYING ARMADILLO!" was cut from the game.
- Chip managing to sum up why the Metal Gear Solid franchise is so convoluted, and yet still completely understanding everything that's been happening in the story.(Chip has just summed up why The Patriots was formed)
Ironicus: ...Why? (laughs) I just don't understand why. Why would they do these things?
Chip: Well, you see, this is what happens when you write a story for your game, originally as a one shot thing, Metal Gear Solid, and then when people like it you make a new one, but then when you write the story, you don't think ahead "what if there's gonna be more sequels? How am I gonna wrap this up? Oops, I wrote myself into a corner!" *confused noises* THE BRITISH MAN IS THE REAL BAD GUY! That guy that talked about making snake-guns and loved James Bond movies, he's the bad guy! "Wouldn't it be great - Snake, wouldn't it be great if you made a folding snake gun in an attaché case, also I'm gonna go manipulate every single government in the world, okay, here we go."
- The end fight in act 2 between Vamp and Raiden. All of it.
- Basically, any time Vamp is on screen. Chip and Ironicus spend no time ridiculing how much Vamp has...er, changed since his debut in Sons of Liberty.
- At the Final Boss they discuss what Big Boss' will would be like. Chip suggests that when the will reader got to Liquid's part of the will..."There's nothing here, and then he turns the page, and [Big Boss] drew himself shrugging...."
- In the first video, Chip notes that the shouts of the allied soldiers often don't make sense, even with context.Ironicus: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Chip: (laughs) NICE SHOES!
Ironicus: WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
Chip: I HATE ALL HUMANS! My name is Raphael!
Ironicus: DO YOU KNOW WHAT KILLED THE DINOSAURS?
- At the beginning of Act II, after killing an enemy soldier with a molotov right after he finished talking to HQ, Chip notes that he thought a gas can in the map was a boom box the first time he played, due to its shape. Cue this exchange:Chip: I just saw, square-shaped thing, and I thought 'boombox'.
Ironicus: For when the war cools down a bit, they jam out.
Chip: Or some, y'know, maybe sometimes they just... (distracted by a pair of bodies perfectly lined up next to each other)
Ironicus: The one guy's girlfriend left him, so he had to hold it up outside her bedroom window. And then she looked down and said "What the h- that's a gas can. My car has gas, what are you doing? This is why I left you."
Chip: Maybe they just have dance battles.
Ironicus: And then he called HQ because his heart was broken.
Chip: And then he burst into flames. But it was okay, everything was okay because it was all clear one second ago, so, no reason to call back.
- And a few minutes later:Rebel: Oh man, am I glad to get some company!
Ironicus: (laughs) He doesn't have a war buddy! (and then he gets shot in the head)
- Shortly after, Ironicus notes that the level looks similar to a map from Metal Gear Online.Chip: I don't think they've changed, like, anything at all for the online version, but I dunno. It's a big map, I like it cause there's multiple pathways, you can go through it a bunch of different ways.
Ironicus: Yeah. And you can wear a box.
Chip: And you can wear a box! (grabs PMC soldier) I remember, I think that's all I did when I played on that map that night, is wear a box and annoy people.
Ironicus: But today, we're not gonna do that at all, this man is not annoyed in the least bit.
Chip: No, he—
Ironicus: He's enraptured— (Chip slits his throat)
Chip: He's dead.
Ironicus: (silent for a few seconds) ... okay.
- Shortly after, Ironicus notes that the level looks similar to a map from Metal Gear Online.
- From the end of the same video, Chip's audio cuts out for the last 5 minutes or so of the video and it becomes unintentionally hilarious as Ironicus tries and fails to provide funny commentary on it without Chip to banter with. This after the exact same thing had happened the other way around.
- And a few minutes later:
- Ironicus' utter disgust with the Colonel — who he calls Uncle-Dad through the game — is always great for a laugh, especially when he finds out Roy married Jack's fiancée RosemaryCampbell: I was consoling Rosemary, and one thing led to another...
Ironicus: You're a creepy old man.
Campbell: Lucky me, huh?
Ironicus: Fuck you!
Campbell: Meryl... said something about me?
Ironicus: Yeah, Uncle-Dad, she said you're a sick fuck! Goddamn!
Chip (as Campbell): Oh, well. That makes me feel slightly sad, but I'm sure I'll be okay after I bang my incredibly hot wife later.
Ironicus: Fuck you!
Chip (as Campbell): See you later Snake. I'm a great human being Snake, I'm your role model.
- Episode 9-1 opens with Snake hiding in a cardboard box in front of nine sleeping soldiers. Everything, from one soldier waking all the others up with one kick, to their reaction to removing the box to find Snake in camo that makes him look like he has no skin, is pure gold.
- During the second part of the Laughing Octopus fight, Chip maneuvers Snake so that he's lying on a bed and lets Laughing Octopus climb on him, resulting in the pair of them struggling before Snake violently throws her off the bed. Then comes Laughing Octopus dancing to J-pop....
- The ending to the Unlockables video, with illustrations showing what happens to the characters after the game:
- Sunny grows up to live a normal life and Otacon is her prom date, including a shot of the Metal Gear Mk. 3 waving goodbye from the door.
- Metal Gear Mk. 3 becomes sentient, but nobody notices.
- Otacon downloads all the animes and is crowned Emperor of Japan.
- Ocelot becomes a sextuple agent in the afterlife among several religions.
- Ironicus's reaction at the end of Act 3 when Johnny rescues Meryl and turns out to be a Bishōnen:Chip: The man who shits himself will be incredibly beautiful!
- Date with Paz + out-of-context clips of Otacon = Perfect Anime Life Simulator.
- Chip and snarkcookie go Guantanamo on a POW.
- This exchange:
- How giving MSF soldiers new codenames would play out with Big Boss in game.snarkcookie: I love that idea of Big Boss strutting around the base. (as Big Boss) "You, what's your name!?"
Chip: (as soldier, quietly) Stick Insect.
snarkcookie: (as Big Boss) Fuck that-
Chip: (gravelly, deep bellow) YOU'RE BEEF! (both crack up)
snarkcookie: I'd imagine he says it with such fervor, his face is contorted, and the soldier is just really fucking confused.
Chip: Yeah, he just kinda barks it out, like his neck tenses out and there are bulging veins, and he spits on the guy's face.
- When Chip plays the "Paparazzi" missions (where the objective is to capture a photograph of the enemy commander goofing off, which somehow means doing squats), they both come to the conclusion that Miller is compiling a photo collection of men's rumps.Chip: I know you made this really official and you put the veil that this was really important, but I'm just taking a picture of some guy's ass... I mean, I'm cool with you looking at pictures of men's rumps but, man... this is a lot of work.
snarkcookie: We have a lot of dude rumps on base!
- In episode 20-1, when the two are trying to capture Zadornov for the sixth time, they decide to play around with him to see if he'll get alerted and start shooting. Eventually they get bored and try jumping off the adjacent building onto a stun box to take him out, and snark yells as her screen turns blinding white.snarkcookie: Why didn't we think this through!?
- From the same episode, while fighting Tigrex, Chip says the beautifully absurd but correct in context "Let me know if you run out of rations at any point, because I can work a deal out with this cat I know!".
- Within the first part of Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance, Ironicus is filled with child-like wonder at Raiden fighting RAY in the most hilariously over the top way.Ironicus: This is what's important! I've found the important thing!
- Them constantly making fun of Raiden "trying" to be cool and a badass.
- After the fight fight with LQ-84i, Chip punctuates the UG's codec and Raiden asking if an AI would know about free will with "TENNIS BALLS", and then grunts "OUCH" the exact second the scrap heap formerly known as Bladewolf explodes.
- In the following Codec call, after Raiden asks Doktor if Bladewolf can be repaired, Chip and Ironicus's commentary helpfully points out that it "fucking exploded", making repairs seem a bit... difficult.
- Ironicus' barrage of hand and arm puns upon fighting Mistral.
- After Raiden kills the man using George as a human shield, Ironicus jokes that Raiden sliced through the kid too, Chip points out that that's indeed what happened, leaving Ironicus baffled.
- The Monsoon fight delivers one right as it starts.Chip: I hope you like GUITAR SHREDDING!
[The Stains of Time begins playing]
Ironicus: [Attempting to compose himself] I do! I do like guitar shredding!
- What does Ironicus do when Raiden decides to charge up the wall of the World Marshal building? Start singing Escape From The City!Chip: That's a good cover!
- Ironicus makes a callback to one of the dumbest lines in Metal Gear History:Chip: I wanted to do another aerial takedown on those dudes but the umbrella was protecting them, the prompt wouldn't appear because they were underneath the umbrella.
Ironicus: So it can protect you from the rain and the lightning in that rain?
- The finishing move on Sundowner:Chip: Z FOR ZORRO!
- And the way he dies just leaves him sitting there mostly whole, definitely not enough to kill a cyborg. One of the top comments suggests that Doktor took him home with him.
- When Chip buys the high-frequency machete at the start of the video, he deliberately skips out on buying the strength upgrades for it and points out that there's a very good reason for this. Partway into the fight with Sundowner, he reveals that the reason for this was so he wouldn't kill Sundowner before he can show off all his moves.
- Raiden hijacks an unmanned fighter plane, prompting Ironicus to imply the game is losing its sense of crazy. Apparently, the game heard him and decided to prove him wrong.Ironicus: Oh come on. We already did this a video ago, just on a slightly smaller scale, you are not stepping it up hard enough!
Chip: I don't know, he might step it up more, maybe.
(Raiden dodges a passing helicopter by millimeters)
Ironicus: Um, o-okay, alright, that's a little better, I'm just saying. We are coming to a point where I'm like...
(Raiden stands on the plane and takes a badass pose with his sword held vertically held in front of him as Chip starts chuckling)
Ironicus: Ummm, what are you doing? What are you doing!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?
(Raiden proceeds to split another war plane right in half without moving an inch)
Ironicus: AAAUGH!! N-Never mind! I'm not gonna finish that sentence!
- "I love how badass this bit [Raiden riding a motorcycle] looks, and then when Raiden speaks it's like really nasally and dorky sounding." Chip then proceeds to use a dorky voice for the rest of the scene.
- Raiden takes up whittling:Ironicus: Hey, Junior - I made you a rabbit... AND IT'S EATING A FOX! TEARING ITS HEART OUT! Jack's your DAD!
- Albeit it's in the Uncut Commentary version, but Chip has to (hastily) point out that he did not edit in the football crowd cheering noises that are heard after Senator Armstrong kicked Raiden like a football.Chip: The football crowd cheering is not me, that's in the cutscene!
- Right before the final battle:Chip: So if I told you that Raiden is two for two for being the protagonist in a game where a political figure powers up...
- In Episode 13-1 Chip and Ironicus completely lose it when Sunny and Raiden talk about Otacon's love life.
- As Venom Snake first wakes up from his coma, Chip points out how the developers forgot to properly animate the nurse removing the IV packet from above Snake's head because they assumed most players would be staring at her boobs, and that Snake would keep looking at her boobs.
- Ironicus makes a quip about the long interactive cutscene that starts the game.Ironicus: Metal Gear Solid: Stealth Action Gameplay no longer featuring stealth, action, or gameplay.
- Ironicus is quick to point out that among the default character customization options, "number 4 looks like sad John Cena".
- During the hospital escape, Chip is happily explaining to Ironicus how all the Scenery Porn works in the FOX Engine while XOF soldiers mercilessly execute hospital patients and staff.
- The bridge part:Ironicus: What a brave, brave horse.
(cue lightning strike that destroys the bridge under Snake, Ocelot, and D-Horse, dropping all three into the river)
Ironicus: (his tone of voice unchanged) What a brave dead horse.
- As Snake rides D-Horse through the Afghan wilderness, Ironicus starts humming the opening bars of the Bonanza theme.
- Starting in this episode, Chip shows off the game in three ways:
- the tactical Big Boss route, who focuses on stealth action gameplay,
- the more violent Venom Snake route, who focuses on lethal stealth action gameplay (or just lethal gameplay), and
- the high-as-balls Vapor Snake route, who spends his first day in Afghanistan smoking and then spends the resulting high pushing around a sheep.
- The Vapor Snake hilarity continues, with Snake attempting to remember who Miller was, illustrated by footage of his dating mission from Peace Walker and a cropped pic of him and Kaz wrestling naked.
- Vapor Snake ends up wasting so much time in his playthrough of the "Phantom Limbs" mission that Miller is already dead by the time Snake shows up.
- Chip once again has to clarify that he did not edit a sound effect in—the SFX in question this time being the comical "ding" from a guard being knocked out by an empty magazine during Reflex Mode.
- As Snake finds Paz:Ironicus (as Snake): (extremely slurred) Anyway, time to get reunited with favorite peace-loving, turncoat super-spy! Hey! Haven't seen you since you tried to kill me with a gigantic robot.
- As Snake and the medic prepare to extract the bomb from Paz's stomach, Chip makes sure to give a good squick warning in advance. The scene itself? Not funny. Chip and Ironicus' reaction to the scene? Well...:Medic: No time for anaesthetic; we have to open her now!
Ironicus: Now, who is this guy...?
(Chip chuckles knowingly)
Snake: Hold her down! Hold her down!!
(the medic starts opening the snitches on Paz's stomach)
Ironicus: Oooooh, boy...
Chip: This is real fucking messed up. The Japanese game's version of this, uh, cutscene is different...
Ironicus: (queasy sounding) Yeah?
Chip: It's heavily censored. The camera's always behind's somebody's head, so you can't see this awful shit...
(the medic starts prying Paz's guts open)
Ironicus: Oh. Okay?
Chip: Yeah! I wish I could somehow record that version! Because... (Ironicus chuckles) In the credits for Ground Zeroes, I believe there's a credit for a doctor they, uh, consulted, so they could get this part very correct...
Ironicus: Ohhhh boy, oh, boy!
(the medic starts rooting around in Paz's guts)
Chip: Ahhhhh! Oh, boy! On, no!
Ironicus: Ohhh boy, oh, boy!! Oh, no!!! (trying to regain his composure) Uh, oh, she's full of SpaghettiOs...!
Snake: Keep her gut in!
(Paz starts struggling)
Ironicus: Yeah! Yeah! That's a hell of a way to wake up, isn't it?!
Chip: (also queasy sounding) Yeah... Oooh, boy!
(the medic fails to get anything from Paz's guts)
Chip (as Medic): Wait, I didn't come with anything. Wait, hold on...
(the medic digs even deeper into Paz's guts as she struggles intensely in pain)
Chip (as Medic): Allow me to go even further!
Ironicus: (audibly grimacing) Aaawww, no!
(Paz's struggling gets worse)
Ironicus: (chuckles in disbelief, mouth behind his hands) ...Did you ever think...you would live to see the day...
Ironicus: ...playing Metal Gear Solid in middle school...
(the medic finally digs the bomb out of Paz)
Ironicus: ...and thinking, "I can't wait to see where the story takes us next"?! (breaks down laughing in disbelief)
Chip: Oh, Jesus Christ...
- One of the MSF soldiers get shot, splattering blood all over Snake (and the screen):Chip: Oh, no! Rageful Mantaray, my favorite soldier!
- Paz announces that she had another bomb planted on her:
- Ironicus goes for the obvious joke:Miller: Every night, I can feel my leg... and my arm... even my fingers. The body I've lost... the comrades I've lost... won't stop hurting...
Ironicus: Would you call it a "phantom pain"?
- Ocelot gives Snake his new nickname:Ocelot: You went straight down to hell and they pulled you out, your eye wide open. Full of venom. The days of Naked Snake is long gone. Welcome back, Venom Snake.
Ironicus (as Ocelot): You're not allowed to pick your own nickname; we, uh, work-shopped it for nine years. You'd really disappoint the boys of if you didn't take hold of "Venom Snake".
- Chip uses the Russian interpreter to demonstrate how some soldiers can perform surprise attacks on Snake with knifes. He then Fultons the interpreter away:Ironicus (as the Russian interpreter): I hope trying to stab you doesn't reflect poorly on my job applicatioooooon!
- The "triumphant" return of Vapor Snake, who Chip has decided to just put into any timeline he can manage after Vapor fucked up his own by letting Miller die.
- The entire extended Shout-Out to Darude - Sandstorm.Ocelot: So a sandstorm's come in. Sandstorms effectively make you blind and deaf.
Ironicus: The song's not that bad. (Chip laughs)
Chip: Again, that song's been around forever, it's just been suppressed by Cipher. (Ironicus laughs) The Patriots. They deem when people are ready for "Sandstorm".
Ironicus: Yeah, the lyrics aren't Du-Du-Du-Du-Du, it's La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo.
Chip: (laughs) Well, that'd be really hard to sing.
Ironicus: (laughing) It would be — I considered it, but no.
- Ironicus points out something rather conspicuous about the nature of Snake's missions:Ironicus (as Ocelot): We're our own army, we aren't working for anybody! (beat) But we only attack Soviets and we get our orders from Langley.
- Chip shows off some of the game's management menus, most prominently the staff list:
- As Chip explains the nature of soldiers who are troublemakers, Ironicus notices one particular soldier:Ironicus: I would also be nervous about anyone named "Sadistic Vulture".
Ironicus: I don't think they're an asset to the team.
Chip: (showing off Sadistic Vulture's stats) This guy harasses people and gives them PTSD.
Ironicus: Yeah, he's "sadistic".
Chip: Yeah, this dude is an asshole! Look at him! He looks like an asshole!
- Chip shows off Ocelot's stats:Chip: Ocelot knows a lot of languages.
Ironicus: Well, yes. He has to lie to people in all of them.
- As Chip explains the nature of soldiers who are troublemakers, Ironicus notices one particular soldier:
- Chip notices how Miller is "perpetually pissed off" for the entire game:Ironicus (as Ocelot): Snake, I've been talking to Miller, and don't tell him I said this, but I think we need a psychiatry unit on the base...
- Snake visits the basement of the Support Unit strut, which is fully of crops:Ironicus: Great, we found Miller's grow-op.
Chip: (chuckles) Quite the operation we got going here.
Ironicus: No, Miller is way too tight-assed. This is—This is Ocelot's.
- Chip turns Snake into Vapor Snake for some side-op missions. Vapor Snake tries to free a prisoner, but said prisoner gets killed by gunfire as they escape. Even more hilarious, neither Chip nor Ironicus seem notice that the prisoner dies and that Snake just awkwardly dumps his corpse into the helicopter. But it somehow all seems perfectly consistent with how Vapor Snake has behaved so far.
- This video's title is "AAAAAAAGH". The cause: Chip Fulton-ed a guy, who was pulled away screaming just as Reflex Mode kicked in, resulting in a comically slowed-down scream.
- The guys notices how Miller always sounds rather dismissive sometimes, when Snake decides to pick up a new recruitnote :Miller: When you're not on a mission, use that free time wisely — surveying enemy outposts for example or gathering manpower and resources...
Ironicus (as Miller): So I can be snide about it behind your back.
- Upon encountering the wandering Mother Base soldier and his rather bizarre (and fast!) movement animations, Ironicus starts doot-doot-dooing "Yakety Sax" as the solider runs away and Snake chases him.
- As Snake prepares to step off the helicopter as it lands on Mother Base, the camera gives a long close-up of his face:Chip: He always looks so deep in thought. But is he really thinking about thing anything?
Ironicus (as Snake): ...Hmmm. If a gun could fire two bullets, it would be like... having two guns... (Snake opens the helicopter's door) If I got out here and swam the rest the of the way... people would think I'm cool...
Chip (as Snake): I wish I could have even more muscles on top of my muscles...
Ironicus (as Snake): What if... my head had muscles? What if I could wrestle a man with my cheekbones? They would never see it coming...
- Chip plays the tape where in the unfortunate fate of Chico is discussed.Snake: When you pick up a gun, there's always a chance you'll die for nothing. He knew that as well as the rest.
Ironicus: (snorts) Really? 'Cause he was, like, twelve!
Chip: Yep, that twelve-year-old definitely knew that!
Ironicus: (chuckles) The one who really loved Bigfoots?
- Ironicus's flabbergasted reaction to Paz showing up in The Phantom Pain (see below), which became the video title.
- Chip shows off the semi-hidden sub-plot with Paz, and as result the guys are treated to a flashback to that scene from Ground Zeroes.(Paz starts struggling as the medic starts removing the second bomb)
Chip: (exasperated sigh) Ah, this... (gathers his thoughts) The-the updates might be mixed up from when this happens, uh, but we haven't listened to the tapes from Ground Zeroes yet. That, that...
(Chip's train of thought trails off as Paz screams)
Ironicus: (queasy sounding) Uh-huh?
Chip: (clearly frustrated) ...Details how the bomb was put in Paz's vagina! But there you go...! (frustrated sigh) Metal Gear, huh?
- Ironicus and Chip wastes no time in lampshading how unlikely Paz's survival was versus Chico's:Ironicus (as Miller): We also recovered from the ocean... Some parts of Chico.
Ironicus (as Miller): We, uh, got a finger... Uh, a whole foot, actually. We got really lucky there.
Chip (as Ocelot): We're trying to see if the bionics specialist can do anything with them.
- Chip and Ironicus return Ground Zeroes to do the extra missions. They get a lot of mileage out of the VIP rescue mission:Miller: (as Snake reaches the semi-conscious VIP) Good... No obvious injuries, right?
Chip: He's fine, don't worry. He'll—He'll live to make Death Stranding, I think.
Ironcius: Yeah, he's fine, but for some reason the tears will not stop falling.
Ironcius: Wait, wait. He's telling me it's allergies. Nevermind, folks, it's allergies.
Chip: Kojima's just, like, slowing bleeding out, and we're, like, trying to lift him into the helicopter, he just, like, reaches into a pocket and his hands are shaking, and he's just, like, got a picture of Norman Reedus and just: "Tell him, I love him..."
(Chip and Ironcius laugh)
(Snake gets the VIP aboard the helicopter)
Ironcius: Alright, you did it. You rescued God!
Chip: I rescued God! Yeah!
Ironcius: Yeah! And he's fine!
Chip: The man who are 70 percent movies.
- As the end mission cutscene starts:Ironcius (as Kojima): Please, Boss! I need to take pictures of food!
Chip (as Kojima): It is so urgent!
- As the end mission cutscene starts:
- Both Chip and Ironicus are highly amused by the relatively high number of allusions to animals used in the briefing for the "Red Brass" mission (moles and pigs).Ironicus: (suppressing a chuckle) Is this just The Wind in the Willows? What the fuck?!
- Venom Snake's approach involved rigging one of the targets with a C4 charge on his butt, causing Ironicus to laugh out a "This seems implausible!", then waiting for the other two targets to show up. Then, as soon as the three targets are all done with their meeting, Chip says their extra objective is done and immediately blows up all three with said C4 with no warning.
- Instead of using Big Boss for it, Chip does the more pacifistic playthrough of "Red Brass" as Vapor Snake. This includes knocking out all three Soviet commanders and driving their unconscious bodies around in the same jeep (prompting a Weekend at Bernie's reference from Ironicus), and making the patented "tactical stealth vehicle" by decking said jeep out in decoys and a smoke grenade.
- One of the extra videos has Chip and Ironicus listening to the Ground Zeros tape of Skull Face interrogating a random POW. They quickly note how the tape is less an "interrogation" and more an excuse to have a prolonged and very hammy Motive Rant from Skull Face.Ironicus: Shouldn't the person doing the talking be the POW? They're doing this backwards.
Ironicus: They're very bad at this.
Chip: Y-yeah. Skull Face is kinda dumb.
- Skull Face complains that has to accomplish something, as the only survivor of his hometown:Ironicus: So get a hobby! Have you tried playwriting? You have a flair for the dramatic.
(later as Skull Face continues to ham it even more up)
Ironicus: Forget playwriting, have you tried erotica?
- Skull Face finally ask the poor POW some actual questionsSkull Face: Tell me, what you see?
Chip: This is when he pulls out his fucking projector and starts his slideshow.
Ironicus (as Skull Face): Do you see me at the Grand Canyon, age 7?
- Skull Face complains that has to accomplish something, as the only survivor of his hometown:
- Ocelot exposits about Quiet, remarking that it is weird she leaves no trace whatsoever, as there are plenty of ways to tracking a sniper by bodily functions:Ocelot: Be it breathing, a heartbeat, eating, excreting, body temperature, sweat...
Ironicus: ...So anyway, we're talking about some lady's sweat, right?
Ironicus: (chuckles) That's fun.
Chip(as Ocelot): Boss, I spend a lot of time on message boards, trying to figure how my favorite video game character's sweat smells like.
Chip: I also don't like the way Ocelot says "excretes".
Chip: Because he just lists everything else, like, y'know, "body heat, sweat, y'know, bullet cartridges... Excreting." (Ironicus laughs) It's like...
Ironicus (as Ocelot): If you know what I mean, right? Huh? Huh?
Chip: ...It's like he learns really close to the microphone.
Ironicus (as Ocelot): You wanna... You wanna hear... You wanna hear more?
- During a mission, Snake comes across two soldiers who talks about someone who is very strongly implied to be Huey:Ironicus: (instantly figuring out who the conversation is about) Oh, come on! Really?
Chip: Hmm... Some guy who are working on robots with machines for legs...
Ironicus: (sarcastic) Aw, great.
Chip: Who could that be? ...Ah, it will be a bit before we get around to that stuff they're talking about, though.
Ironicus: I... I think there is a point where the Emmerich family want to live up to the curse, right? (Chip laughs) They're actively pursuing it.
Chip: I mean, at least until you get to Octacon, yeah. I think, like, Octacon's grandpa, yeah, it seems like he fucked up. Octacon's dad...
Ironicus: What did he develop after that? I'm pretty sure nothing! Like...
Chip: (chuckles) Yeah. But, I mean, Huey especially seems... even in Peace Walker, seems like a bit of a fuck-up. (Ironicus laughs) I mean, he could have ended— Like, he got rescued by Snake, and he could just have been like: "Wow, thanks, Snake! I'm never gonna work on this awful machinery again!" and instead he went: "Snake, I can make you the same awful nightmare machine I was making for those guys!" I think he just wants to make awful robots. (Ironicus laughs) That shoots nukes.
Ironicus: Yeah. It's consistent with his behavior. (Chip laughs) He's all just trying build an alibi, like: "Oh, no! I hate it! Please, stop! (hornily) Keep going." Like, that's Huey. That's Huey.
Chip: Yeah. And, uh, secretly he's a person who relishes in telling people that Santa Claus isn't real.
Chip: Like, that wasn't an accident with Big Boss!
Ironicus: Building walking tanks — walking nuclear capable tanks — is his kink, and I will hear nothing to the contrary! (Chip chuckles)
Chip: The only reason he was into Strangelove is just 'cuz she just enabled that.
Ironicus: (chuckles) Yeah!
Chip: She was okay with being a part of that. (laughs)
Ironicus: When he says "I want to be punished," he means by the UN Security Council. (Chip chuckles)
Chip: Now, being actually punished by them, is that his end goal, or is it just the thrill of being punished?
Ironicus: (laughs) I'll give you a hint. His safeword is "Nuremberg".
(Chip cracks up)
- Vapor Snake vs Quiet. His quest is to make friends with everyone, thus he decides to be really nice to Quiet and give her Mother Base's last two crates of Doritos. As supply drops. On her head. What's extra hilarious is that this is a speed-running technique dressed up in Vapor Snake's strange approach to missions.
- "Is she a unicorn?!"
- Chip points out that Snake has a distressed expression that he only ever shows off when he is carrying around the unconscious Quiet.Chip: I love how the whole time you're carrying around Quiet, Boss is making this fucking face.
Ironicus: (laughs) This is the only time a woman has touched him since EVA.
- In the extra video, Chip and Ironicus goes through the Ground Zeros tapes containing the very infamous interrogation of Paz and Chico. Needless to say, the guys are not at all happy about this, to put it mildly.
- Ironicus is so uncomfortable with the tape of Paz being tortured in front of Chico that he instead fact-checks himself on something that the former's voice actress claimed (to Chip's dismay), and talking about his current plumbing conundrum at his house. Then he asks Chip if the tape had ended.
- They get to the most infamous of the tapes, Tape 4:Chip: Look! A ten minutes cassette tape!
Ironicus: (resignedly) Oh, boy, oh, boy...
- Skull Face getting more lines prompts a discussion of his voice acting:Ironicus: This a voice that could only exist in a video game or a cartoon.
Chip: Yeah, I really...
Ironicus: Even in an animated movie they'd be like "Come on, dude. Tone it down."
Chip: Yeah. We don't get much into what Skull Face is doing or any of his motivations for quite a while, so I don't wanna say too much about Skull Face, but I do not like his voice actor. (Ironicus laughs) It's so— He just has a normal, like, "bad guy in an Episode of Yu-Gi-Oh!" voice.
Ironicus: Oh, yeah. It's very Yu-Gi-Oh!, yes.
Ironicus: He sounds like Cam Clarke died, and they had to replace him.
- This conversation between Paz and Skull Face:Skull Face: The question is, which of the two would you like to give a shot at survival?
Paz: What I would like... Is to kill you.
Skull Face: The feeling is mutual...
Chip (as Skull Face): I also want to kill myself! Wait.
- Skull Face plays "Here's To You" once again:Chip (as Skull Face): Anyways, here's the only song I've listened to! (Ironicus laughs)
Ironicus: God... Karaoke Night is gotta be the worst. He doesn't allow any other song, it's just eight guys singing "Here's To You" in a row.
- The guys get to the part where the second bomb is placed inside Paz. Ironicus says that he would give anything to see how the document given to the sound effect department to instruct them on what sound effect they where supposed to create for the occasion was worded.
- The intro where Quiet saves Snake from a jet attacking his transport helicopter:Ironicus: How the fuck are you not dead, Boss? Wha? Wha—
Chip: Phew, good thing this invisible lady was here still.
Chip: Like, really, if she wasn't there, that would have been the end of Big Boss. (Ironicus laughs) He would be dead. The best soldier in the world, taken down by one jet. Not a giant robot, just a normal fucking jet. That's what they should have been using.
Ironicus: All this time.
Chip: He got so used to fight Metal Gears and, y'know, psychic people and men covered with bees, that he is super weak to conventional weaponry now.
Ironicus: Yeah, he keeps looking for the legs and it is hard to tell that they are not there.
Chip: Oh, god!
Ironicus: (as Snake) Cloaked legs? (normal voice) No, they're just not there.
Chip (as Snake): Everything should have legs...
- Chip and Ironicus pondering how the balance of power between Miller and Ocelot is actually distributed:Chip (as Ocelot): They're all my soldiers now; we split them half-in-half between me and Miller. You can tell which ones are mine, 'cause they're wearing my hats. (Ironicus laughs)
Ironicus (as Ocelot): There's a big chalk line down the central strut, you can see. I've got the zoo, so I feel pretty good about it.
Chip (as Ocelot): Still a bit of a problem though, 'cause, uh, we put all the bathrooms on one strut. And Miller's got it.
Ironicus (as Ocelot): We're mostly going over the side for now, kind of a live-and-let-live situation.
- Vapor Snake and D-Dog vs The Legendary Brown Bear, set to Hoero Gin from Ginga: Nagareboshi Gin; and featuring flashbangs, decoys, Bionic Arm punches, and a bunch of empty magazines.
- A Metal Gear Running Gag makes its return:Chip: And look. Now it's definitely a Metal Gear game, 'cause an Emmerich pissed himself.
Ironicus: Mm-hm, mm-hn.
Chip: (flatly) Hurrah.
- Vapor Snake taunts the Sahelanthropus by managing to land a decoy on top of its "backpack" like a giant man-shaped "Kick Me" sign, and without being noticed.
- Huey keeps trying to take off the bag Snake has pulled over his head.Ironcius: Would you put that back down— (Snake pulls the bag over Huey's head again) Thank you. (Chip chuckles) We're going to secret place!
Chip: C'mon, Huey! Jesus!
Ironcius: There's a difference between "recruitment" and "capture", Huey, and I would like you to respect that.
- In this episode, Chip plays "Jamais Vu", a Snatcher crossover starring Raiden. During the briefing cutscene, Miller justifies the murder of the Snatchers disguised as Marines because they're not human. Ironicus doubts Raiden would even care about collateral damage in the first place, summarizing his Character Development from Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance as "my crippling PTSD makes me really good at my job, so I'm just going to roll with it".
- Ironicus is bemused that, despite the presence of Quiet, Metal Gear Solid V feels like the least horny of Kojima's games. Chip thinks it's because Big Boss actually had sex once, while Solid Snake's games are brimming with Unresolved Sexual Tension.
- Ironcius lands a Brick Joke when Chip reveals that in the logo hunting bonus mission in Ground Zeros, Miller will only recognise the Kojima-directed Metal Gear titles as valid entries for the marking-erasing hunt:Ironcius: It looks like they did learn to suck their own dicks in this game!
- Another Brick Joke, when Snake comes across the Metal Gear Solid 2 logo, and it prompts a quote from the game's epilogue:Ironcius: ...Wise words for Suck My Dick.
Chip: (laughs) Ah, I hope Suck My Dick is doing good.
- Another Brick Joke, when Snake comes across the Metal Gear Solid 2 logo, and it prompts a quote from the game's epilogue:
- Ironicus delivering a Take That! to Game Theory:Miller: (as the Metal Gear Solid 4 logo disappear) Hm? Guess that can't be right...
Ironicus: Uh, welcome to Game Theory; I think we have just confirmed that Hideo Kojima hates Metal Gear 4! (Chip laughs) 'Cause if it's not "right", then it's wrong. If it's wrong, then its bad.
Ironicus: That's just a Game Theory.
Chip: Oh, my god. (runs the car over a road cone, which bounces away) Which must mean that's also true.
- Ironicus takes one look at Ocelot torturing Huey for information and immediately assumes that Mother Base is having a Flashdance reenactment night.
- Huey begs Ocelot and Miller to keep him on Mother Base for his own protection, and Ironicus takes it in a different direction:Ironicus: Yeah, we don't want any more Emmerichs running around. (Chip laughs) You're pretty luck the next one is pretty much good, in the end, all told, in the balance.
Chip: Yeah! (Ironcius chuckles) No thanks to you though, probably.
- It is revealed that Ocelot and Miller are taping Huey's interrogation:Chip (as Snake): I'm going to have listen to this all over again, huh?
Ironicus: Aw, ooooh no!
Chip (as Snake): This is gone to be the only tape I have with me in the helicopter again, huh?
- Ocelot mentioning that the African mercenaries are from South Africa prompts this bit:Ironicus (as Ocelot): Hey, Boss, what are your feelings on apartheid? I know you've been asleep for most of it, but, uh, you've been reading Time Magazine.
Chip (as Ocelot): Look, just watch Lethal Weapon 2, it's got, like, one scene about apartheid in there. It says it's "bad".
Ironicus (as Ocelot): Now, Boss, I need you to take another nap until you can wake up and watch District 9. (Chip laughs) Trust me, it's gonna be worth the wait. (beat) Boss, you wanna watch Chappie with me? (both laugh) I feel like you might enjoy Chappie.
Chip: Watching that with Vapor Snake would be awful, because he would just say "That's Chappie," every time Chappie is on-screen.
- Chip discusses how the rainfall that happens in the Africa levels affects enemies and has no downside, prompting Ironicus to make the Obligatory Joke:
- Snake prepares to blow up the oil separator tank:Ocelot: All right, you've planted the C4. Don't set it off until you're at a safe distance.
Ironicus (as Big Boss): Hmmm, I think I know best. I'm the legendary soldier here. (Chip chuckles) You just pretend to be a cowboy sometimes.
Chip: Yeah. You know what? Let's defer to D-Dog, he knows best. (Ironicus laughs) As we know, he's the best at making decisions. You know what? Put him in charge of Mother Base; I'm sure he knows who the best soldiers are.
Ironicus: Mm-hm? Mm-hm?
Chip: He can smell it.
Ironicus: He can sniff it out, yeah.
- A guard injures D-Dog.Chip: Oh, dammit! They shot D-Dog off. With a shotgun.
Ironicus: (without a lick of humor) All right. Burn this place to the motherfucking ground.
- Chip goes into more detail on why he dislikes Skull Face as a villain:Chip: Skull Face is weird, because the amount of presence he has is, like, small for a long time. And he's just kinda, like... dumb, but, like, annoying also. Where it is like, even when Metal Gear villains are dumb — like, even Hot Coldman, I was entertained by.
Ironicus: Oh yeah. He was living life...
Ironicus: ...And loving it.
Chip: Whereas Skull Face feels like a weird, annoying theatre kid, who thinks he knows everything.
Ironicus: Mm-hm? Mm-hm?
Chip: (cracks up) That's the feeling I get from Skull Face! And I was—
Ironicus (as Skull Face): I was never given a choice. I was cast as Polonius! (Chip laughs) I didn't want to be Polonius, but I had no choice! They stabbed me behind a curtain.
- While most of the video is dedicated to discussing how broken and blatantly unfinished the mission is, there's still a few good jokes, such as about Huey's obsession with putting legs on mechanical appliances.
- One egregious example involves the enemy suddenly shooting the hostages for no reason...only for them to immediately go on alert and ruining Snake's stealth runs.Chip: ...And, after they [the soldiers] shoot them [the hostages], they then go, "Wha—?! Who shot these bodies?! Where did those gunshots come from?!" (as Ironicus laughes) And then they go on alert because they shot their own guns!
Ironicus: ...Wow, it should be really easy for you to take these people apart. They're idiots.
Chip: (still exasperated) Like, they call in an alert because they shot their own guns! Fuck...!
- One egregious example involves the enemy suddenly shooting the hostages for no reason...only for them to immediately go on alert and ruining Snake's stealth runs.
- The duo discuss why being a living Translator Microbes kind of sucks.Ironicus: Interpreter has to be the worse job on Mother Base, right? Because you just chill out and then at any time, someone will grab you out of bed and throw a radio at your face, like "Go now! Go! Go! Go!"
Chip: Like you don't have to go anywhere, but it constantly interrupts your day.
Ironicus: He was smoking for eighteen hours, but now he's holding up people, you have to do this now. (Beat) You are the only person happy when the Boss starts punching a bear. Because bears don't talk.
- Chip and Ironicus discuss the controversy around Quiet's design:Chip: Well, there you go; the reason why you should be "ashamed" of judging Quiet's character design is because she breathes through her skin.
Ironicus: Mm-hm? Mm-hm?
Chip: Even when this stuff happened, some people were like "Oh no, I'm sure there's a deeper reason that will make you feel bad," but no. That's it. She breathes through her skin.
Ironicus: I think the more important statement came a few days before the "words and deeds" tweets, if I remember correctly. I know it came first...
Ironicus: ...It's just the distance. I might be forgetting. The statement that she was designed with "figure purchasers and cosplayers" in mind. (starts laughing)
Ironicus: (laughing) Yeah!
Ironicus: It was blatantly and explicitly just like: "People will buy this shit." (laughs)
Ironicus: That was the first statement!
Chip: "Look, we're Metal Gear, we have normal action figures, but we've already made, like, big-titty Sniper Wolf anime action figures. So why don't we make a character that's just that from the start, so we don't have to redesign her character later?"
Ironicus: Say all you will about being a "character choice". It was first sold as a really crass, commercialized choice.
- When Big Boss takes a shower after the Quiet exposition scene:Ironicus: Are... Are you drinking?
Chip: Whoa! ...Big Boss just goes in and thinks "I should be drinking too," so he just opens his mouth...
(Chip and Ironicus make gurgling noises)
Chip (as Snake): Wow, Quiet is so smart! This is the way to do it.
- When Miller starts protesting as Ocelot suggests that Quiet demonstrate her shooting skills by aiming at the helicopter's blades:Miller: Wait a minute! That thing cost a lot of money!
Chip (as Ocelot): Miller, you might the Second-in-Command, but we don't give a fuck about your opinion! Shoot the helicopter, Quiet! Woooo!
- Miller says he suspects Cipher being behind something:Chip: I really like that no matter what happens, that Miller just immediately blames Cipher.
Chip: He could stub his toe, he could get muscle cramp, "It's fucking Cipher, Boss!"
- Chip explains how Quiet's reaction to Snake changes as their friendship level increases:Ironicus: I'm a little nervous about what top level friendliness gets you.
Chip: It's bad. (Ironicus laughs) I mean, it's Hideo Kojima, and he was already horny enough to not make a sniper character that's was, you know, looking like that.
- Both Chip and Ironicus are highly amused by the Battle Dress:Chip: (makes Snake put on the Battle Dress) ...And now he looks like a Michael Bay Ninja Turtle
Ironicus: Hell yes!
Chip: Look at him! He's so thick now! (both laugh)
Ironicus: Oh, my goodness. It's like A Christmas Story: "I can't put my arms down!"
Chip: (laughs) Yeah! That is absolutely something three other people have to help him put on, right? (Ironicus laughs) There's no way you can put it on yourself.
Ironicus: (comparing Snake to Quiet who is siding beside him) Just look at the contrast between them!
Chip: I know!
Ironicus: Is that scene in Friends where Joey puts on all of Chandler's clothes at the same time. (Chip laughs)
- Vapor Snake is back and in form, crushing a man under a golden tank, repeatedly getting caught, making friends with a hedgehog by shooting it, and ultimately unlocking his full potential by becoming utterly invisible, something even Chip is not sure how it happened.
- Vapor Snake vs a helicopter? No question. Vapor Snake vs a normal chain link fence? Same, but the advantage is in the other court, now.
- Chip finds a hedgehog down in the mines, and Ironicus invites his significant other over to see it, just before Chip decides to tranq dart it and take it home with him.Snuggle Beast: Did you just call me over so he could shoot the hedgehog in front of me?!
Ironicus: I didn't know he was going to— I could have guessed he was going to shoot the hedgehog, actually.
Snuggle Beast: Fuck that shit!
Ironicus: He's going to make so many friends! There's bears and rams... ok there's just the one bear... so many birds! That are going to be friends with the hedgehog.
Snuggle Beast: I am really not happy right now.
- Not to be outdone, Big Boss has some troubles with a tank himself, and at one point "tranqs" a guard by shooting rubber bullets up his butt until he passes out.
- Ironicus' reaction to friendship level 2 with Quiet which involves her bending over and sticking her ass in your face.
- Vapor Snake manages to hallucinate his way into P.T., in a montage punctuated by the radio song "204863".Chip (as Vapor Snake): I don't like it! I do not like this sound—where am I?! What is this?!
- Chip shows off some of the more ridiculous gun-customization options, many of which results in some "ugly-ass guns". Ironicus finally loses it when he shows off his modified rocket launcher:Ironicus: What the fuck is that?! (laughs)
Chip: I don't know why you would want a flashlight on your RPG, but you can do it.
Ironicus: (still laughing) I've never seen a gun that begged for death before, but...
Chip: (laughs) Ah, man! Anyways, we got this—
Ironicus: Of all the people who want this to exist, this is wildly Out of Character for Big Boss!
Ironicus: (laughs) He flipped his shit when he saw a knife with a hollow handle!
Chip: (laughs) Yeah!
Ironicus: And now this Frankenstein-ass gun is, like, "Yeah, sure! Hell yes!"
- Miller grumbles about what the SANR is doing, namely feeding off the conflict in South Africa by offering to sell nukes to the warring parties and then blaming the colonial government, being "hypocrisy":Chip: Miller! How many many times do we have to go over this?! (Ironicus laughs) You're just jealous that they did it before you could! You would sell nukes if you could! You just don't got none!
- Chip shows off that he has unlocked something for Quiet through her trust level:Chip: We've unlocked a new outfit for her! Yay! We can put clothes on her! ...Or rather, we could put clothes on her, but instead we just got an outfit that drenches her in fake blood...
(Chip activates the outfit)
Ironicius: That's so much worse! That's a million times worse!
- The scene where Quiet seems strangly intend on putting her knife into one of the Mother Base soldiers' mouth happens. Chip and Ironicus are having a bit of fun with the scene, until...Chip: This guy has to be, like, a S-rank dude to catch a knife with his teeth.
(Ironicus laughs; but suddenly the soldier's front teeth break under the pressure of Quiet's knife)
Chip and Ironicus: AAAGH!
Ironicus: Alright! ...And that's where we're done for the day!
Ironicus: Ewugh... Oww...
Chip: I always forget that his teeth gets chipped off. It is the worst.
- Return of the Bloody costume for Quiet:Chip: Also [we're] good enough friends with Quiet to drench her in blood, with Big Boss now, not just Venom Snake.
Ironicus: (chuckles) I don't think I'm good enough friends with anyone to do that...
- When Miller remarks that local legends has it that ghosts are haunting the old masion that Code Talker is holed up in. He dismisses this as "crackpot superstition" or rumors made up to scare away the locals. Based on their experience with the rest of the series duo does not agree:Miller: ...Or a rumor designed to keep prying eyes away.
Ironicus: Or, a real-ass ghost! That's not outside the realm of possibility.
Ironicus: If this was any other Metal Gear game, you would hear Big Boss say: "Kaz, ghosts are real."
- The Camouflage Unit, aka the female SKULLS, are introduced with plently of Male Gaze:Chip: Hey, everybody! It's a bunch of Borg cosplayers!
Ironicus: "What if the terrifying SKULLS Unit where sexy babes?"
Chip: "What if they had Sexy SKULLS Halloween costumes?" These ones has asses!
Ironicus: Yeah, yeah... You've gotta give it to Kojima; he will never wait for Rule 63 to come around. He'll just do it himself.
- Upon the SKULLS entrance Miller drops the following line:Miller: Damn it! So Cipher is behind this!
Chip: Kaz, even if that didn't happen, you would still assume Cipher was behind it.
- Upon the SKULLS entrance Miller drops the following line:
- Ironicus being flabbergasted at Code Talker's Info Dump on the overarching plot:Code Talker: Ironic, isn't it? [The parasites] gave us language, and now they take it away.
Ironicus: Did-did they? They what now?
Code Talker: It is thanks to them that man first learn to speak.
Ironicus: Excuse me?
Chip: Get ready, later in this game, for some crazy fucking shit about this.
Ironicus: (at Code Talker's contiuned expositon) Are you... Are you sure? Are you sure about that?
Chip: Yeah. Get ready for some prehistorical Metal Gear stuff! Whoa!
Ironicus: ...I gotta say; I'm surprised it hasn't happened sooner.
- Chip takes Vapor Snake out to look for the missing kids:Chip: All of my kids disappeared!
Ironicus: Debra! Drebra! Let me see the kids!
Chip: (laughs) And if I'm going to find those kids, I'd better look like a responsible adult.
(Chip dresses Vapor Snake in a tuxedo)
Ironicus: (slurred) I can change! Look at me, Debra!
Chip: I bought a tux! I got fitted for a suit!
Ironicus: (increasingly slurred) We were so happy back then! Remember?
(Chip equips the Rocket Arm)
Chip: I'm wearing my finest cyborg-arm!
Ironicus: Let's have another! It will be like old days!
Chip: (chuckles) I'm not even—
Ironicus: You're not fucking taking this one from me this time, Debra!
Chip: I'm bringing the dog! He's mine!
Ironicus: You never liked him anyway!
Chip: Yeah! I'm the one who taught him how to strap balloons!
Ironicus: (even more slurred) Who's drunk?! You're drunk! Fuck! (beat) It's perscription, Debraaaaaa! (sobbing) Come home! I miss you! I'm sick of TV-dinners!
- Later, when Vapor Snake has found two of the missing kids:Ironicus: Debra, I got the kids back!
Chip: Two of 'em!
(Vapor Snake starts hosing the kid with the water pistol)
Ironicus: I'm giving him a bath!
Chip: I've stopped paying the water bill, the squirt gun is good enough!
Ironicus: It's all full of flouride anyway!
Chip: That's how Cipher gets you, y'know!
- Later, when Vapor Snake has found two of the missing kids:
- Later, as Skull Face hams away in one of the cassette tapes:Skull Face: (to Code Talker) You're just a another mote in the storm. How you react to all the slings and arrows — that's what counts.
Ironicus: He's still upset about being Polonius!
- In an update with both Huey's exile and Strangelove's last recording, at the heels of the quarantine mission, one question remains. What's Vapor Snake up to?Ironicus: (interrupted) —What?
Chip: (as Vapor Snake) It's Vapor Snake! I'm Vapor Snake, and I have a big problem right now! My men are dead, but also, this bear I captured! is lonely! Look into his eyes! Can't you see how lonely he is? He's been like this for days, just walking in place, he won't eat his food!
Ironicus: What's— what's a bear to do? A lonely, lonely bear... all the way out there.
Chip: I've gotta fix this problem. I gotta go out to where the animals are. And I gotta smoke.
- What follows might be Vapor Snake's magnum opus: A glorious Mushroom Samba where, under the influence of a far-too-upgraded Phantom Cigar
and a copious amount of mods, Vapor Snake bounds across the Afghan landscape, dropping rows of animal cages all over, aggressively questioning herds of sheep (via More Dakka), somehow rolling into Africa, before eventually finding another bear... and subdues it with a veritable barrage of Fulton rockets. All of this set to The BFG Division.Chip: The bear has been subdued. There is no chance to fight back, I will destroy you!
Ironicus: Into hell with ye.
- The final haul after he collected the bear was a severe hygiene problem, a no-longer lonely bear, a herd of startled sheep, a good number of dead soldiers, and seven Tsuchinoko. And one gerbil!
- And the timestamp for when this insanity begins in the video? 4:20.
- What follows might be Vapor Snake's magnum opus: A glorious Mushroom Samba where, under the influence of a far-too-upgraded Phantom Cigar
- Code Talker and Miller have a dicussion:Code Talker: Whatever we do, we must not allow that thirst for revenge to control us.
Ironicus (as Code Talker): Hint, hint.
Chip (as Miller): Hmmm...
Ironicus (as Code Talker): Are you getting this, Miller?
Chip (as Miller): What? ...Are you telling me I can put revenge in my burgers to make them taste better?
Ironicus (as Code Talker): Well... Incidentally, yes.
- As Quiet is about to exit the story:Ironicus: If I'm not "ashamed of my words and deeds" five minutes from now, man...
(after Quiet has delivered her parting words)
Chip: So... Do you feel ashamed of your words and deeds? (laughs)
Ironicus: (laughs) ...They got four more minutes.
- The grand finale of the LP starts off solidly, with Vapor Snake fleeing from Miller-headed D-Dog into the cliff side. Needing to cool down, he then decides to take a nap with the assistance of a sleep gas mortar directly to the head.
Chip: WE ARE CHAPTER THREE!
- And then it goes apeshit: Vapor Snake, in his self-inflicted drug induced coma, opens his first eye. Chip and Ironicus, witnessing the awe of the eye, realize the truth behind EVERYTHING: The head transplant theory? Masterminded by Mission Dr. J Frog. The mysterious J in the SH letter? It wasn't just Mission J Frog, but the combined efforts of Jehuty, John Luke, Jeff, Pey' J, DJ Whoo Kid and even Jesus over the span of eleven years. But the final revelation is the most shocking of all...
- From Chip Cheezum and General Ironicus' Let's Play of 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand, we have Ironicus quoting from American Apartheid concerning misogyny in the ghetto, during a Gatling Good level on the top of a helicopter (starts around the 13-minute mark). What seals it was Cheezum's response, after three minutes of quoting the text:Chip Cheezum: In that time, I killed two hundred people.
Ironicus: I like the big 'aooga' noise starting the video. It made me feel like I'm on an old kid's game show.
- Not to mention the second time, in the 8th video, when he goes back to the same book to quote it's section of ghetto linguistics, just to finish off with "In conclusion: Stop typing like you're ghetto, you fat white kids at your computers, God damn it."
- 50 Cent's jiggly hips while he spins around rapidly did it for some people. Other contenders include 50's goofy ragdoll death while getting caught in the architecture and Chip's rampant abuse of the swear button, usually in the form of randomly verbally abusing his teammates while shooting at them (who, in turn, simply stand there and don't even flinch when they're repeatedly shot in the face.)
- It gets even better when Chip starts abusing the swear button while opening shutters. Double the hilarity whenever Ironicus also notes it.
- What about when they demonstrate 50 Cent's amazing ability to take
anTHREE RPGS TO THE CHEST without dying?
- Or what about the fact that Lloyd Banks is filled not with blood, but jelly. Or DJ Whoo Kid's surprising depth of knowledge about history and architecture.
- Anything that involves the "Fiddy Zone".
- At the start of the fifth video, when Ironicus calls attention to a certain sound effect:
Chip: Yeah, the 'aooga' noise comes up anytime a new wave of enemies is coming in.
Ironicus: That means there's someone in this city looking out for Fifty, and his best interests. "Dude, watch out, the bad guys have reinforcements. And they still have your skull."
Chip: The man who's warning him is Fiddy's grandpa, and he's in a jalopy.
Ironicus: Fiddy's grandpa is named 2 Bucks.
Chip: ...Whoa. Damn.
- The mook in part 8 who reacts to a shotgun blast to the face by running out from behind cover, stepping on top of another bit of scenery, and then dropping dead.
- The ragdoll physics in general are hilarious, especially when combined with counter-kills - note the tendency for those killed with the neck snap to immediately shoot towards the ground before Fiddy even lets them go, or the one mook (also in part 8) who is punched in the face so hard he teleports behind Fiddy.
- From way back in part 1, when told that that he can buy guns "if you have the money", 50 Cent gets a hilarious look on his face, like he's thinking "But... bitch took my skull." Naturally, Chip points this out (and as he explains 50's thought process, his voice gets higher and higher, until it's practically an Instant Soprano).Cip: It's like 50 is thinking "but if I got no skull, I don't got no money, but I need money to buy weapons to get my skull! WHAT?!"
Ironicus: Truly a paradox (explosion) for the voice of a generation.
- The red-shirted, white-bandanna'd enemies are briefly mistaken for and then dubbed "Santa Clause", leading to a joke about 50 Cent stealing the dead man's coat and starring in a videogame sequel to The Santa Clause. Of course, 50 being 50, it winds up more like The Nightmare Before Christmas, with 50 bringing toys to the children, and flaming death to everyone who doesn't like his music, in a dual-minigun sleigh drawn by "hoes" instead of reindeer.
- Chip's obsession with the rocket launcher. Including considering it 50's version of "flanking"."Knock-Knock, Motherfucker!"
- Not from the Let's Play itself, but here's why you shouldn't emulate 50 Cent: Bulletproof.The green lines are just building supports for the Fiddy Zone.
- Pretty much all of The You Testament, as the bizarre AI and poor programming take their toll on Chip and Ironicus.
- While playing around in the character creation menu, Chip discovers that he can make a character 10 feet tall with a Hulk Hogan face. Their reactions are priceless.
- After their first character is crucified for not laying down at night, they make a new character that is 1 foot tall. And, as Chip later discovers during a cutscene, cross-eyed.
- This leads to their character getting stuck in a pool because he's too short to climb the steps. The LPers play this for all it is worth.
- Chip accidentally hugs a man, who immediately proceeds to hit him with a brick. Their reaction, again, is priceless. Made even funnier by Chip making the character jump, which looks a whole lot like leap frog.
- The LP ends with who else but the voice of Dan McNeely using his trademark smug voice to do a dramatic reading of some of creator MDickie's journal entries.
- While playing around in the character creation menu, Chip discovers that he can make a character 10 feet tall with a Hulk Hogan face. Their reactions are priceless.
- From the Mega Man Legends LP:
- Upon finding the Bomb Schematic (used to make the Grand Grenade weapon) in Grandpa Caskett's room, Chip and Ironicus both become convinced that Grandpa's a terrorist.Ironicus: *imitating Grandpa* Mega Man, have you ever heard of the IRA?
- Servbots having Vietnam flashbacks.
- As they were searching for a large briefcase full of money that a man lost, Chip and Ironicus figure that the man must have gone around the town telling everyone in great detail how he's traveling around with his entire life's savings, along with other exploitable information.Ironicus: (imitating the man) Also I have a wife! She's very attractive and sexually liberated! I'm going to take an 8 day vacation now. She'll be quite lonely! Oh dear I forgot to lock the door to the house as I go out to do many, MANY errands.
- Chip Cheezum voicing Roll's regret at blowing up Teisel's ship.Chip: (imitating Roll): Holy shit Mega Man, we kind of murdered the hell out of them! I feel a little guilty!
- Data the dancing monkey takes a turn for the sinister after Chip and Ironicus find him inexplicably waiting for them outside the final boss' door.Chip: Oh, hi Data - how'd you get here?
Data: Well, we've come a long way, haven't we?
Chip: "Time to die, Megaman!" What a twist!
Ironicus: [laughing] I was just about to say...!
Chip: Data pulls out a gun...
Data: It would have been nice if we could have just kept on living in peace with the Professor and Roll but...
Ironicus: ...Wait, really!?
- Upon finding the Bomb Schematic (used to make the Grand Grenade weapon) in Grandpa Caskett's room, Chip and Ironicus both become convinced that Grandpa's a terrorist.
- Chip and Ironicus being unable to keep a straight face through all the constant Cluster F-Bombing in Rogue Warrior.
- And again when the protagonist suddenly tells a random Mook to suck on his balls in a rather confusing and anatomically impossible manner.Ironicus: A-Around? Like... circumnavigate?
- When the two start discussing the existence of Bitch Jesus.Chip: Does Bitch Jesus wear sassy heels?
- Chip spending the start of every level just rushing forward and violently stabbing everyone to death, to the point of referring to the protagonist as a knife tornado.
- The one time when the game whips out, from among its collection of many, many, knife kill animations, the one that opens with the victim getting stabbed in a very sensitive region.Chip: That man got a knife in the grundle!
- And again when the protagonist suddenly tells a random Mook to suck on his balls in a rather confusing and anatomically impossible manner.
- Their side-feature of the No More Heroes 2 LP: Watching Episodes of Terrible Anime
- "Spinning Dog Missile, go!" The line even comes with a reverb. Even funnier when you realize that there is a Spinning Dog Attack in the show (However it's more of a buzzsaw attack than a missile).
- "Dog, why are you in space!?"
- In the content warning for Mad Bull 34, Chip warns "Murder, gore, sex, sexism, nudity, attempted rape, and Brooklyn accents."
- Making fun of Sleepy's apparent crossdressing fetish, which he feels the need to satisfy every time he goes undercover.
- Spider Man Tokusatsu. Spidey's first attempt to deal with the Monster of the Week after it grows results in him being swung into a mountainside and a boulder dropping onto him. Needless to say, the pair are in stitches.
- When the opening of Dracula Sovereign Of The Damned consists of nothing but sketches of random monsters without even any opening credits:Chip: Oh, yeah, is that some concept art you drew there, Dracula?
Ironicus: *doing a Dracula impression* I vish to make an indie game for the Xbox Live, blah. I vant to suck your Microsoft points.
- Just like the Revengeance LP, Ironicus' childlike wonder at the over-the-top nature of the game in completely open and unashamed, and when Chip tells him it gets even crazier after the 101 block the explosions from falling gas trucks with a giant shield, he's left stuttering for a few seconds.
- Ironicus losing it when Wonder-Green calls his gun Christine Daae.
- Ironicus's increasing frustration with Wonder-Mailman due to the fact that he's always lagging behind.
- Chip and Ironicus teased at a secret they had coming out in update four, along with the boss fight. It turned out to be a live audience.
- At the start of the chapter 2 boss fight, Chip decides to start measuring the in-game Danger Quotinent meter in "Laambos" (Laambo was the first boss of the game and had a DQ rating of 100%).
- Ironicus's theory on the Wonderful Steak item.Ironicus: Perhaps it reduces your rank because you're eating street meat. And not, like, street vendor meat but just from behind a dumpster.
Chip: Blugh. Wonder-Blue don't touch that. Wonder-Beer definitely don't touch that. Can you be Wonder-Sober for once please?
- Ironicus' incredulous "don't say that" reactions to some of the dialogue. Specifically, Pink saying "Ex-SQUEEZE Me?!" and Blue saying "badonkadonk"
- Vijounne: I hate to say it, boys, but I don't think you meet the height requirements for this ride.
Ironicus: They're as tall as anyone else on the planet! You're just rubbing it in!
- In 18-2, Ironicus plays Commander Contrarian to keep convincing Chip that he shouldn't have rescued some civilians from being frozen in blocks of ice.
- Because the game was too cheap to put in subtitles, Chip made his own. This lead to him putting some amusing subtitles for various moments.
- Episode 1: *duck call plays* (I am the false prophet leading you to your demise)
- Episode 5: After John Luke does the stealth mission, and is asked if he got a monitor (I hate this I wanna play video games)
- In Episode 8, Chip reveals that he hot-keyed "John Luke" because of how often his name is said.
- KC's confusion over Cousin Beaux as he's not actually from the show.
- The whole stealth mission, involving Metal Gear Solid boxes.
- Chip recalls his experience reading the Duck Dynasty wiki. Laughing at the cognitive dissonance of calling John Luke a "good Christian boy" while mentioning he was arrested for DUI in the same sentence. He also found fanfic, mostly from teenage girls that want to kiss John Luke.
- In Part 2, Chip enters a clothing store for the first time by slowly driving a motorcycle through the front door. He attempts to buy some clothing, while still on the motorcycle:Chip: Excuse me, sir. Give me your finest wares. I demand service! No? You don't serve motorcycle men? I am offended!
- He hacks the novelty singing fish inside the store, which proceeds to start singing a profanity-laced song.Ironicus: Video Games are art.
- He hacks the novelty singing fish inside the store, which proceeds to start singing a profanity-laced song.
- Also in Part 2, Chip demonstrates the inherent video game logic in the game's randomly-generated side-missions. In the first mission, he purposefully alerts the potential criminal and scares him off, thus preventing the crime from happening, but he still fails the mission as Aiden remarks the crook will just try again at a later date. On the second mission, Chip successfully neutralizes the criminal the way the game wanted him to, but failed to save the victim from being killed. The game considers this a success.
- Calling back to his motorcycle stunt in Part 2, Part 13 opens with Chip (after a non sequitur open of him stating that as a man on the go, Aiden Pearce is a gogurt fan) doing the same at the McDonalds knockoff Quinkies...only with a car instead, wreaking predictable havoc. All while he and Ironicus banter over how ill-suited the space is for serving customers in cars like it's the most normal thing in the world.Chip: It's really hard to get the driver side window up to the register, everything needs to be a bit more curved to help with how cars move.
- In Part 3, Chip-as-Aiden's "birthday surprise".Chip-as-Aiden: But first I gotta destroy this trashcan, because I hate things that remind me of me!
Ironicus: Well yeah, Aiden's not a monster. This is family.
- During the birthday, Aiden steals his sister's prescription drugs. But only one bottle!
- Any time Chip tosses Aiden around like a ragdoll, intentionally or otherwise, is a gold mine:
- Chip tries to do the motorcycle thing again to go to Aiden's nephew's birthday party, but an Invisible Wall is stopping him. So Chip rides back a couple hundred feet, then floors it, crashing into the invisible wall, throwing Aiden directly into the cutscene.Chip: I'm gonna we're gonna set something up and it's gonna be a big old surprise with the uncle gotta destroy this trash can because I hate things that remind me of me...
- Driving headfirst into a truck in Part 11.
- In Part 12, after getting stuck inside the L-train when he didn't mean to leave, he manages to get out of it by squeezing through the connecting cars and lands safely... right in the path of another oncoming train.
- At the tail end of the same video, Chip presses a wrong button and drops an IED onto his motel bed. He then climbs into bed anyway, wakes up the next morning, and then detonates the bomb.Chip: I didn't like that bed anyways.
- Chip tries to do the motorcycle thing again to go to Aiden's nephew's birthday party, but an Invisible Wall is stopping him. So Chip rides back a couple hundred feet, then floors it, crashing into the invisible wall, throwing Aiden directly into the cutscene.
- Chasing a prank caller, instead of stopping the car he is in, Chip hacks a traffic light so that the caller's car gets into a multiple car pileup, then takes him out...and then the pileup explodes, killing both the caller as well as some innocent civilians. Luckily, it was justifiable force.Nicole: You're going after him right now! I can't believe you!
Aiden: It's not like that!
(Car explodes next to him.)
- Really, the entire prank-call sequence, where Chip-as-Aiden steals his sister's car, loots her glovebox, causes the aforementioned multi-car accident, does a Batman pose, bemoans the loss of life and his inability to call 911, gets distracted by a new gun, calls out the game's citizens for their apathy and then plays with a dump truck.
- Chip encounters some wacky A.I. during one side-mission: After neutralizing the criminal on one side of the street, a driver attempts to pass by the body, but is unable to because her pathfinding won't let her cross the dividing line. She ends up wrecking a fence and detour equipment, then constantly backing up and driving forward instead of simply driving around. Chip watched her do this for a whole 15 minutes before he moved on.
- During a side-mission in Part 5, Chip performs a melee takedown on a fleeing criminal and creates a graphic bug where the crook's head gets stuck underneath the ground, but the rest of his body is still above-ground. Chip spends a long time trying to nudge the crook's head free, including pushing the body down a hill, before giving up and moving on.
- During the drinking shots mini-game in Part 5, Aiden's opponent speaks in slow-motion, and reveals he's a Conspiracy Theorist. Chip & Ironicus mock him saying "jet fuel can't melt steel beams" in faux-slowmo.
- Part 6 ends with Chip demonstrating hacking blockers to raise and lower by themselves, which comes with some wacky physics involving Aiden and his bike. The video then cuts to a montage of Chip attempting to create a ramp with other cars to launch his motorcycle off of, only for some bizarre glitching to occur, all while Chip is talking in Motor Mouth. Most prominent are when Aiden somehow glitches to the inside of a building, and then gets trapped on the bike until it explodes from all the collision detection.
- During the shootout in Part 11, both of them get a kick out of the prison guards' Elite Mook:Ironicus: It's Longshoreman X!
- Also in part 11, as Aiden tries his best to comfort Jacks:Aiden: C'mon, Jacks, talk to me.
Ironicus: (as Aiden) Look, we're gonna send you to Witness Protection. We're gonna put you in a different video game. There's a good dad that will swordfight you in the backyard every day. (Chip bursts out laughing)
Chip: Oh, nothing bad's gonna happen from that.
- Also in part 11, as Aiden tries his best to comfort Jacks:
- In Part 12, Ironicus' Rapid-Fire "No!" reaction to the serial killer sidequest.Ironicus: "Welcome to Watch_Dogs, where we had a tone meeting and decided all the bad ones."
- Also in Part 12, Aiden gets off the train...only to get splatted by another one!
- Chip describing Aiden Pearce's yellow coat as "a discarded banana peel".
- The invasion in Part 19. It starts with a car exploding out of an alleyway, in which it should not have fit to begin with, in a spirited attempt to run Aiden over. Things only get more comical from there.
- And the invasion in Part 20, which doubles as a primer on the offensive and defensive uses of the common or garden drawbridge.
- Part 22. Driving around in a cement truck... in reverse.
- Also in Part 22 is Chip exploiting a glitch involving a gate that allows him to clip inside a building where Aiden is almost entirely untouchable. The absurdity of the situation reaches a climax when Chip is invaded while still in the building and the invading player cannot find him at all. One can almost imagine the invader freaking out whenever Chip takes a potshot at him.
- Part 23. Two Words: Edgy Grandma.
- Even better, Chip had either never seen that one or completely forgotten about it, leaving it one of the few times in his LP career where he's at a complete loss for words.
- The first ten minutes of Part 24 is just Chip goofing off around a lavish private home and scaring the NPC's there, one of which is a day laborer with a master's degree.
- Also in part 24 is Chip performing a retaliatory invasion on another player, in which he hides in a car sitting by itself while the other player frantically runs around trying to locate him. Chip wins the invasion right as the other player finally discovers his location.
- Part 29
Ironicus: What a Meet Cute this is! ...That's one in-depth investigation.
- Chip is showing off that the developers felt the need to record multiple takes of the "two NPCs make out" lines when he notices that the game's random background generators has assigned one of them as a fraud investigation officer and the other as being investigated for fraud.
- Part 31
- In the previous part, Chip finishes the last mission before the Point of No Return where Nicky and Jackson are shepherded to safety in Pawnee, with Nicky possibly cutting ties with Aiden after she learns he is the Vigilante. At the start of this part, Aiden gives a speech about losing his sister's trust forever. Chip decides to turn this Tear Jerker into hilarious hi-jinks by exploiting a bug where Aiden will repeat his speech every time he completes a Side Quest between the last mission and the next. The opening line, "Nicky's never coming back," quickly became a Running Gag for the rest of the LP.
- Part 32
- Part 33
- The episode opens on Aiden sadly walking down the street to somber classical music, while Chip and Ironicus talk about all the suffering he's gone through and inflicted... and then they finally show off "Psychedelic," the last digital trip, which involves bouncing off of giant flowers and gliding through hoops (with some truly amazing voice acting). And then, a bit into the second stage, just as Aiden's about to bounce, there's a smash cut to him being hit by a car in the real world.
- The Edgiest Privacy Invasion. It's a live-action video featuring Chip where Aiden watches him talk on the phone while babies cry in the background (turns out he's running a baby farm), Chip curses at the babies, gets a call about a certain fluid ending up on one of the babies, then he starts dragging a dead body, then he gets a call and learns he has Kuru, and he possibly spread it to several babies. Then ctOS scans the dead body and reveals it's Ironicus. All this leading up to the reveal that Chip's next LP is Zone of the Enders: The 2nd Runner.
- At the start of his original LP of the first game, he starts trying to describe the game's combat system during the first tutorial fight. He kills the enemy in five seconds, barely enough time to explain the reliance on the Square button.
- At the end of The 2nd Runner's first chapter, when Dingo is shot and droplets of blood are floating around in low gravity:
- The sequel's hilariously bad translation lead to a number of amusing moments, for instance:Dingo: "Use power for the right things. At least, for the things that you believe in."Ken: "Who's secondhand?"Dingo: "Your father."Music swells, everyone cries
Pal: A friend or liked workmate, with no other qualifiers.Compatriot: A secret, unrequited lover.Comrade: A friend who has died.Companion: A pal who is about to become a comrade.Friend: Never used, considered "too rude" for polite company.
- The running gag about the translation's odd use of terms for intimates and workmates, which seemed almost to follow a bizarre internal logic of their own. Eventually, it was decided that the terms worked as follows, and the comment sections went wild with it (especially "comrade" and "buddy"):
- At the beginning of the stream, their absolutely priceless reaction when they realize they're halfway to their initial goal of $2,500 and they haven't even started playing the first Gex game yet.
- The Running Gag of Ironicus drip-feeding Gex' positively epic five-page (and in tiny font, according to Chip) Back Story, paragraph by paragraph, throughout the stream.
- They also end up giving Gex a more, er, "appropriate" voice that sounds astonishingly like Jollo.
- Everyone's reaction to the family-friendly line "That's as much fun as being Mike Tyson's cellmate on Valentine's Day." Chip is so horrified that he sends Gex to the time-out corner.
- Hearing VoidBurger, a woman best known for LPing one of the most terrifying video game series of all time, scream like a little girl as she tries to beat the Nintendo Hard auto-scroller "Congo Chaos".
- At one point, Ironicus suggests they try to get Dana Gould (Gex' North American voice actor) to Colbert Bump the stream on Twitter. Despite knowing full well that he considers the role to be an Old Shame, he figures Gould would be okay with it if he knew it was for charity. In response, one of Chip's viewers on Hitbox tried to tell Gould about it and got himself blocked from Gould's Twitter feed for his troubles. (Luckily, Gould did eventually tweet out the Extra Life page to encourage donations.)
- Ironicus, who almost never gets the chance to play games on Chip's channels, has an Awesome Moment when he manages to beat "Rez Knight Fever"...then realizes he forgot to pick up the remote.
- During "On The Move", Gex constantly repeats the quip "Where's Jane Fonda?" (a reference to her workout videos from The '80s) whenever he steps on the level's many, many conveyer belts. In response, the chat provided real-time updates on Fonda's possible location, drew Where in the World is Jane Fonda? fanart, and then came a donation from Rez claiming he had kidnapped Jane Fonda, a donation from Jane Fonda saying she was fine and watching the stream, and ANOTHER donation from Rez saying that the previous Fonda was an imposter, and he was holding the real one in an elaborate death trap inspired by Mr. Belvedere.
- Chip and Ironicus see Silicon Knights listed in the credits, causing Ironicus to exclaim "Denis Dyack, you've fucked me again!"
Gex: Enter the Gecko
- The opening cutscene shows Gex having to be bribed by government officials to go back to the Media Dimension. Chip immediately calls bullshit, pointing out how the massive inheritance he got from his Uncle Charlie in the first game's backstory would have made the G-Men's offer a Comically Small Bribe at best.
- In the middle of the Chinatown level, Gex makes the only legitimately decent joke they heard the entire stream (Paraphrased: "Eh, this level's nice but I'll want more of it in about 30 minutes"), this catches all of them off guard and results in mass Corpsing.
Gex: Deep Cover Gecko
- Gextra Life 2018 sees Chip, Ironicus, Void, and Alaina playing Saw near the end of the stream. As they've been awake for nearly 24 hours by this point, they're all a bit punchy, and it shows through in their mockery of the Saw series's increasingly absurd self-seriousness and Body Horror.
- Ironicus (as Jigsaw): I put a bomb in your balls.VoidBurger (as Jigsaw): You have to bust a million nuts to get it out. You have to bust so many nuts.Chip (as Jigsaw): There's a bomb in each ball. Separate bombs.Void!Jigsaw: There's a nutcracker on each of your nuts!Ironicus!Jigsaw: Will you vasectomy the red wire, or the green wire?
- Chip finds the "Nut Hidden in the Fog" moon.Ironicus: ...Yes. You should nut while hidden in the fog.
Chip: Nobody will know! (Ironicus laughs) Just think about how many nuts can be had! (both laugh)
- The first appearance of Goombette, where Mario impresses her by building a stack of Goombas, prompts some discussion:Ironicus: So... If I'm putting this together correctly....
Ironicus: ...That lady Goomba is overjoyed at the thought of a Goomba that is taller than her... But will not give any time of day to a Goomba that is not taller than her. Even equal to her own height is not good enough.
Chip: I'm not sure if it is a height thing, or if she likes the idea of twelve Goombas, like stacked. I don't know how Goombas work.
Ironicus: (laughs) How much did Reddit like this game? I'm thinking "a lot".
Chip: (laughs) Hmmm... Well... I'm not even joking, there are some people mad about the ending of this game. (Ironicus laughs) And there might be some crossover with Reddit about that. But, uh, that's a while from now. Let's not think about that.
Ironicus: Yeah, the final cutscene where Mario turns to the camera and says "Kill all men!" (Chip laughs) It's very controversial.
Chip: Just once, I want to hear Bowser say "Women's rights!" (Ironicus laughs) C'MON, BOWSER! SAY IT, YOU COWARD!
- Ironicus later ponders the fact that Goombette always runs away after delivering the moon:Ironicus: Oh, my gosh! She is terrified of commitment! She only wants the idea of a giant boyfriend.
Chip: Yeah, once it is actually, like, reality, it's too scary.
Ironicus: Oh, this is sad.
Chip: Yeah. (laughs)
Ironicus: I made myself sad...
- Ironicus later ponders the fact that Goombette always runs away after delivering the moon:
- Ironicus points out that some of the New Dork citizens' gibberish talk sounds like they are saying "Devil's ass!" Both him and Chip find much amusement in this.
- A passage in the New Dork City guide, which explains the origins of the local Crazy Cap shop prompts an irate response from Ironicus:Guide: The unique storefront converted from an old theater. Theater space is no longer much in demand, with so many street performers in the city.
Ironicus: What?! They threw all the performers out on the street and closed the theater? And they are selling this as a good thing?!
Chip: (laughs) Oh, my god.
Ironicus: Fuck you, Pauline! Your city is built on lies!
- Ironicus subverts a Running Gag:Chip: Sand Kingdom has 69 moons!
Ironicus: Wow! That's... a lot! ...You thought I was going to say something else?
- Chip shows off that you can combine costumes. He does this by combining the Caveman Headwear and the Black Suit:
- In Part 11, Chip confesses he really wants to see Nintendos long-rumoured Metroid movie get greenlit because hes curious how Hollywood screenwriters will react when they find out Samus has bird DNA. Cue Chip and Ironicus imagining a scene where Samus (played by a nine-foot-tall Brie Larson) pecks at bird seed on the ground while the Hunters from Metroid Prime 3: Corruption awkwardly look on.
- In Part 32, Chip wonders if the character designers at Nintendo ever have trouble coming up with new enemies for Mario, seeing how he has a ton of them already.Ironicus: I'm just imagining Mario is the one that gets kidnapped and the FBI goes up to Peach and are like "Did your boyfriend have any enemies?" (Chip laughs) "Just any you could think off?"
Chip: Aw, man...
Ironicus (as Peach): There's this guy called "Chuck". Fucking loves football, that guy.
Chip (as Peach): Now, I can't verify this one, but he has spoken multiple times in his dreams about this guy named "Wart". I don't really know who he is, but he sounds like he could be bad news.
Ironicus (as Peach): Never met him myself.
Chip (as Peach): Never met him, never seen him, but he talks a lot about him in his sleep.
Ironicus (as Peach): I call it his "Doki-Doki Panic Attack".
Chip: (laughs) That's good. I like that.
- In Part 2, Ironicus interprets Cloud's sudden visions of Sephiroth as him convincing Cloud to housesit his apartment and look after his cats.
- In Part 4, Tifa kills a wererat with a Whirling Uppercut while Chip is still trying to explain her moves. The control shifts to Cloud, who casually watches the wererat smack back to the ground in front of the camera with perfect comedic timing. Ironicus loses it completely.
- Chadley somehow manages to get Rescued from the Scrappy Heap in the span of a single conversation, with Ironicus going from hating him to loving him after he says that is willing to, in Chip's words, "die for the cause". Eventually, they start addressing him with "Chad-ley!" with a mock received pronunciation.Chip: He's got a fancy-boy name! It's either a little rich boy's name or the name of a young manservant. Therefore, you address him by not "Hey, Chadley, come here", you go "Chad-ley"!
- Chadley somehow manages to get Rescued from the Scrappy Heap in the span of a single conversation, with Ironicus going from hating him to loving him after he says that is willing to, in Chip's words, "die for the cause". Eventually, they start addressing him with "Chad-ley!" with a mock received pronunciation.
- President Shinra is voiced by James Horan, who also voiced Skull Face in The Phantom Pain. When he finally speaks in Part 11, Chip and Ironicus have a lot of fun comparing the two.
- Barret: If anyone's going along with your plans, it's 'cause you brainwashed them!
President Shinra: Such methods are beneath me.
Chip (as Shinra): I prefer parasites.
- Part 24 opens with one of the rarest sentences imaginable, regarding the unexplained and tonally bizarre cameo of Cait Sith during the destruction of Sector 7.
- Ironicus: Wanna watch Tom and Jerry witness 9/11? Boy, have I got the game for you!
- In part 39, Chip defeats Sephiroth with the Fat Chocobo summon.
- In general, their Solid Snake impressions are hilarious, especially when Ironicus starts using the word "soldier".
- Ironicus's April Fools' Day joke LP of Dalek Attack, featured on Chip's viddler channel, which consists of him stumbling through the first level of this horribly difficult game, all the while reciting grossly incorrect Doctor Who trivia. Made even more hilarious when in later Retsupuraes it becomes evident that himself and Chip are avid whovians.
- Ironicus' story about a baseball game during the old LP of Beyond Good & Evil, culminating with the phrase "I was mugged by a mute green chicken!"
- Also from that LP, the slow audio follies. Particularly when they go to Mammago's Garage.
- The other audio glitches that occur in the LP bring about unintentional hilarity. One such audio problem is described as "Prepubescent Darth Vader".
- Towards the end of the LP, Ironicus describes some of the various Fan Fic he's encountered for the game.
- Pretty much the entirety of the "Epilogue" video for LEGO Star Wars. It consists mostly of the two messing around in the Hub Level. It is glorious.
- Right after Act 1 of MGS4, there's an intermission of the MGS pack of LittleBigPlanet, as well as several MGS-inspired user-created levels. What makes it hilarious, though, is the finale, and Chip's horribly failed attempt to play Ham Egg, which involves spinning wildly through the air on the A-Team van.
- In the fourth episode of the Rez walkthrough, Chip talks about Cacti. To say anything else would spoil it.
- Goku and calling him Hank. Chip's lesson on original character design, which is just tracing over a picture of
- A Grand Theft Auto V Review with Franklin riding the bike inside the house around Auntie D while speaking to her.
- The Kingdom Hearts II stream has these moments in spades:
- When Chip jumps on top of Yen Sid's desk to look at his eyes, Goofy suddenly starts jumping high enough to reach the ceiling.
- When Chip misreads Merlin saying "energy" as "menergy".
- Chip attempts to make a Gummi Ship based on Super Meat Boy. Hilarity Ensues.
- When Goofy "dies" and rejoins the party in three minutesnote , VoidBurger, the only commentator who hasn't played Kingdom Hearts II, breaks down into tears and in the meantime the others trick her into thinking he was Killed Off for Real.
- Even better is Void's sarcastic "Good night, sweet prince. RIP Goofy. 1942-2006." before the prank kicks in.
- His stream of Shadows of Katmai is littered with hilarious moments, in particular:
- The game's frequent climbing sections which can best be described as "Uncharted with no budget", and feature Logan James making impossible jumps, zipping from one ledge to the next, and frequently clipping through the ledges.
- Togo, the weirdly-proportioned husky who can teleport through walls and handle wolves just as easily as Logan, quickly becoming the stream's favorite character.
- At one point, Logan fights a bear who picks up a tree and throws it at him.
- Star Trek: Borg, Chip apropos to nothing decides to draw some Windows 98 MS Paint fanart of Hank the Chog and his girlfriend Monica the Mexican Mongoose, which then got its own fanart, and somehow managed to bump him to be #1 on hitbox. After streaming
- While playing Gex: Deep Cover Gecko while in a call with Tietuesday, damehasclass and Voidburger, Chip is trying to get to the top of a pirate ship that demands of him some really dodgey platforming. When he's nearly at the end, a blue-vested skeleton pushes him off, causing him to fall the way back to the bottom as he screams in genuine frustration. Noticing the parallels, his co-commentators begin saying "GET DUNKED ON" and humming Megalovania.Chip: God, that piece of shit skeleton!
- Chip and Ironicus' two-part session of The Fight: Lights Out, their self-described magnum opus:
- Part 1 is a treasure trove of absurdity, from Danny Trejo dual-wielding Playstation Move controllers, to the game's tutorial rapidly devolving into an interpretive dance routine (including knitting lessons, caber tossing, and the Macarena).Ironicus: I open my chrysalis. I am boooorn again!
Chip: This is really testing the limits; not just the boundaries of the game, but the boundaries of society itself.
- In part 2, Chip and Ironicus bring the smackdown.Chip: I'm gonna fuck you up!
Chip: You're dead! ...After my Playstation Eye calibrates itself.
Chip: This is gonna prove who's more from the streets, you or me!
Ironicus: ...We went to the same high school!
Ironicus: This is how you fight?
Chip: It's called a windmill!
Ironicus: Yeah, well, I'm Don Quixote, bitch.
- Also in part 2, the tragic and heartwarming tale of the Brothers Marv.Ironicus!Marv: He died in that alley, and he was my brother!
Chip!Marv: Oh my god! But you're my brother!
Ironicus!Marv: Yes! You killed your own brother, Marv.
Ironicus!Marv: What are you saying, Marv?
Chip!Marv: Marv, I love you! Let's stop this fighting.
Ironicus!Marv: We're a family!
Chip!Marv: I love you so much, Marv!
Ironicus!Marv: It's so beautiful!
- Part 1 is a treasure trove of absurdity, from Danny Trejo dual-wielding Playstation Move controllers, to the game's tutorial rapidly devolving into an interpretive dance routine (including knitting lessons, caber tossing, and the Macarena).
- After the gang's Gextra Life stream of the game Cyberswine, Chip added subtitles to the archived video in order to make it more coherent for viewers. It's a rather awesome moment that in itself that he's willing to go out of his way to give a quality experience, and many people thought the subtitles were actually part of the game... until a giant feral cyborg chicken shows up as a primary antagonist, he wherein he exclusively subtitles its calls with "[ROBOT BIRD NOISES]"
- Ironicus' wife walks in during the Zelda: Breath of the Wild stream, and instantly picks up what's going on (Ironicus going squee over a goat) with almost no explanation. Ironicus notes how weirdly on the same wavelength they are, and says if we want to see more, we should check out their podcast, History Honeys.