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Karamazov's Warparty


Fyodor Karamazov, Lord Inquisitor of The Ordo Hereticus
Here seen wondering why he's keeping Dominique around.

Voiced by: StellarElite

A man so regal he takes his throne everywhere he goes, Karamazov is one of the most influential Inquisitors out there. He's also a self-righteous madman with the policy of "kill first-ask questions later", so when a missive to disband the Inquisition comes from the Imperial Palace, he rushes to Terra to burn the hives down in search of an answer.

  • Anti-Climax Boss: Against Magnus, his charge into the Imperial Palace isn't much. Magnus even comments on it.invoked
  • Arc Villain: The main villain of season 1 and most of season 2.
  • Asskicking Equals Authority: Apparently got the position by being the biggest and baddest Inquisitor to survive long enough.
  • The Atoner: In a self-deluded idiot sort of way. He still believes that he is the Emperor but upon meeting Leman Russ, he actually seems to regret how his supposed past incarnation treated his children and genuinely wants to make amends.
  • Ax-Crazy: He can murder entire planets out of his own misplaced ego.
  • Blood Knight: He may claim that he's doing it all for Imperium's good, but he seems to simply love the carnage.
  • Broken Pedestal: Happens to him constantly, from his idol in the Inquisition to his first meeting with Kaldor Draigo.
  • Catch Phrase: HERESY!
  • Cool Chair: His throne, which can move on its own (in fact, he never leaves it), has two built-in lackeys and an impressive array of weapons to boot. It even has a build-in rocket!
  • Death of Personality: The Emperor describes Fyodor as "no more" in Episode #27 before clarifying that he means he's been "overridden" by the Star Child.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: Played for Laughs. When his ary fires at Decius simply because he's there, he orders them to stop.
    • After the Emperor tricks him into believing he is the Emperor's reincarnation, Karamazov laments what kind of father he had been after seeing Russ's obsession with wolves.
  • Evil Is Petty: Is introduced attempting to iniate an Extermiantus on a mining world for not giving him the shiny metal he wanted for his soldiers.
  • Evil Laugh: When he breaks into the Imperial Palace, his laughter is rather insane.
  • Exact Words: Uses this to get out of a promise he gave Decius; instead of "shedding blood" on Holy Terra, he'll just burn everyone.
  • Foil: To Decius. While the Ecclesiarch is the Only Sane Man, job-oriented and filled with Undying Loyalty to the Emperor even when his job is invalidated, Karamazov is insane and decides that the best course of action is to charge into the Imperial Palace and execute everyone as heretics, because this couldn't be right!
  • Fusion Dance: With the Star Child.
  • Grand Theft Me: In Episode 26, a shard of the Emperor takes over his body, as Karamazov has so thoroughly come to believe he is the Emperor that the Warp made it true.
  • I Reject Your Reality: In Karamazov's world, everyone but him and his closest associates is a heretic or a potential heretic, the Emperor approves of Inquisition's actions and Karamazov is a shard of Emperor's soul. Suffice to say, it's not exactly everyone else's reality. In Season 3, his beliefs that he is a part of the Emperor reborn is so intense that in the Warp, it eventually becomes true, or at least true enough that a shard of the Emperor is able to seize control of his body.
  • Holier Than Thou: He believes himself to be the most righteous person in the Imperium, even when members of the Imperial Palace's staff disagree with his views.
  • Knight Templar: He believes unflinchingly that his cause is right one, that he knows who the heretics are and what to do with them.
  • Knight of Cerebus: With his arrival on stage, the series moves from "wacky one-room-two-guys comedy" to "comedic story about fixing the Imperium".
  • Large Ham: Oh yes, he is. He gives Rousing Speeches all the time, blows everything out of proportion and has nothing against monologuing.
  • Meaningful Name: Even more so than in the original tabletop. Much like the Grand Inquisitor from ''''The Brothers Karamazov'', Fyodor goes against the very god he supposedly worshipped, for the sake of maintaining order in society.
  • My God, What Have I Done?: Played for Laughs. After meeting Leman Russ in the Warp and seeing his...obsession with wolves firsthand, Kazamazov takes a moment to berate and wonder to himself what kind of father had he been to him...still believing he's a reincarnation of the Emperor.
  • Narcissist: Other than heresy, his favorite subject is himself. For instance, when the Emperor fawns over him at length to lower his guard, Karamazov mentions telling himself the same things while admiring himself in the mirror.
  • Not So Different: To the Emperor. Both are throne-bound, angry, ego-maniacal hypocrites. The Starchild notes that he will feel right at home inside Karamazov.
  • Rousing Speech: He loves giving those, to the extent that he gives three of them as the Inquisition makes its way through the Imperial Palace.
  • Sanity Slippage: The events of Warp Hijinx leave him and the rest of his forces considerably more crazed then before, though it could also be because they're drunk off their asses from Leman Russ' improvised Fenrisian Ale—which is strongly suggested in later scenes where Fyodor is relatively sober.
  • Sarcasm-Blind: He's completely oblivious to sarcasm, a quality which the Emperor exploits with gusto.
  • Tautological Templar: Charging the Eternity Gate is a heresy... but not when him and his people do it.
  • The Inquisition: Leads the most reactionary part of the "burn the heretic!" organization. The Emperor is pissed that Malcador's legacy is represented by this guy.
  • Trigger Happy: He's more than happy to burn entire planets if he as much as suspects one person there to be a heretic.
  • Unwitting Pawn: The Emperor fully wants him to assemble the most knight-templar-ish and problematic members of the Inquisition and charge into the Eternity Gate so that Magnus can get rid of all of them at once. And then it's revealed Emps told him all that nonsense about him secretly being a shard of the Emperor's soul so that when in the warp, his sheer insistence on it makes it true enough for him to act as a host body for the Star Child.
  • Villain: Exit, Stage Left: When attacking the Palace for the first time, he ends up at Kitten's mercy and is a second from being shot to pieces when the Emperor orders to have him spared. He promptly uses the opportunity to hightail it out of there.
  • Villainous Breakdown: When he's sent to the Warp, he starts screaming and blabbering, sliding into incoherence and losing touch with reality even more than before. He snaps out of it by the start of Season 3 though.
  • Villainous Valour: If there's one thing you can say in Karamazov's favor even before he gets possessed by the Star Child it's this: he is no coward. True, most of his courage stems from being so ridiculously self-assured that it borders on Suicidal Overconfidence or flat out loss of touch with reality. But that didn't stop him from besieging the Imperial Palace, charging a Daemon Primarch, talking back to Leman Russ while he was angry, and refusing to quit believing the Emperor even when a daemon was inches away from cleaving his skull open with an axe. Even getting trapped in the warp was viewed as nothing more than a minor setback by him.
  • We Will Meet Again: Promises this to Kitten when he escapes for the first time, and makes good on that promise a season later.


Lexmechanic Dominique, Servitor Scribe
He gets that a lot.

Voiced by: Franky

Not your perfect Inquisitorial lackey. Dominique mans one of the arms of Karamazov's throne and while his official job is somewhat unclear (it should be to mindlessly write down everything that Karamazov says), the unofficial seems to be whining and annoying the hell out of his boss, who despite this resorts to grumbling rather than firing him (or firing at him) on the spot. It is later learned the his annoying and obnoxious tendencies are actually for a purpose...

  • And There Was Much Rejoicing: Karamazov seemed a bit pleased with his passing. Less so about the fact that the rotting remains seems to have been affected by The Warp.
  • Body Horror: Something makes his rotten corpse play an eerie tune while snapping and twisting his neck repeatedly to mimic a music box. It's enough to make Fyodor instantly sober.
  • Character Death: He died at some point in Leman Russ's drunk party.
  • Clueless Deputy: He accompanies Karamazov everywhere, but seems more bothered by his cigarettes and own (perceived) awesomeness to aid him in any meaningful way.
  • Deadpan Snarker: One could suppose it's his defense tactic against Karamazov's shrieking insanity, but he's really snarky at times.
  • Due to the Dead: After he dies from overdosing on daemon-derived Fenrisian Ale, Karamazov keeps his rotting corpse on his throne. Later on, when the Star Child takes over Karamzov's body, Dominique's body disappears as he is taken to the afterlife by Celestine, and his place on the throne is replaced by white coffin covered in golden chains with a golden aquila.
  • Evil Sounds Raspy: He claims his cigarettes give him a raspy voice that's really popular with ladies. In reality, it's more like squeaking.
  • Exorcist Head: His corpse did this repeatedly, complete with the sounds of cracking bone and tearing flesh.
  • Famous Last Words: Hey! Hey, Fyodor! Have a happy new year, pal...
  • Femme Fatalons: Rare masculine version, he has long talons as nails (probably autoquills, fitting his job as an Inquisitorial secretary). He also claims to be quite a womanizer.
  • Flanderization: Inverted. He starts off as a caricature and gets more depth as episodes go on. This was intentional, as Dominique was intended by the Emperor to help push Karamazov deeper and deeper into insanity so when he ended up in the Warp, he would believe the lie that he was part of the Emperor so hard that a part of the Emperor could manifest and take over his body.
  • Go Out with a Smile: Dominique takes his death rather well.
    "Nah. It's all good. I've enjoyed myself. If I knew I'd trip this hard drinking Daemon innards I would've died a long time ago!"
  • It's All About Me: When Karamazov is planning his first invasion of Imperial Palace, Dominique is more concerned with his own discomfort.
  • Killed Offscreen: Is found to be dead after Leman Russ pounds Karamazov's face in, possibly caused by alcohol poisoning.
  • Must Have Nicotine: Throughout the first attack, he continues asking people for sandpaper cigarettes, and they pop up from time to time later as well.
  • Number Two: Assistant to Karamazov, to the Inquisitor's woe.
  • Only Sane Man: As time goes on, he turns into this, seemingly being the only member of Karamazov's clique to recognize the insanity of what's going on around him. Then again, he has his own insane moments. He was, in face, the only sane man because he was conspiring with one of the Emperor's pieces to help drive Karamazov deeper into insanity so the Emperor could take over his body when he ended up in the Warp.
  • Phrase Catcher: "Be quiet, Dominique!" is something he hears often.
  • Servile Snarker: As Karamazov's composure deteriorates, Dominique starts to snark at him more and more often.
  • Terrible Artist: Going by his pictures of made-up Ordos he presents to cheer Karamazov up, he has skill of a mediocre MS Paint artist.

    Leman Russ 

Leman Russ, Primarch of the Vlka Fenryka (Space Wolves/Space Corgis)
"You need to spend more time being raised by WOLVES, you tarnished old skeleton, FOR WOLVES ARE STRONK!"

Voiced by: Zoran The Bear

Another of the 20 primarchs, and the Emperor's self-appointed Executioner. Prophesized to return during the End Times to fight again alongside the fellow defenders of the Imperium.

  • A Real Man Is a Killer: Proudly boasts to a Deathwatch soldier he has 300 million confirmed kills. These are just the CONFIRMED kills, ones in which there were either witnesses or a body left behind to confirm the kill. When you consider that Leman has been in the Warp for a long time and the very concept of surviving in the Warp mandates the ability to slaughter Daemons on a massive scale, it is VERY likely that his actual number of kills is immeasurably higher (though given that what he was saying was a parody of the Navy SEALS copypasta, he may just be making stuff up).
  • The Alcoholic: He's so dedicated to his drink he attempted to recreate Fenrisian Ale by mixing Bylestim note  and the distilled liver-juices of a Bloodthirster into a drink so potent it generated an aura of menace.
  • Arch-Enemy: Seems to consider Magnus the Red this, a sentiment the former Chaos Primarch wholly reciprocates. Simply the mention of him being in the throne room with the Emperor was enough to send Russ into Tranquil Fury, ignore his previous anger against Karamazov, and decide to finally leave the Warp.
  • Badass Baritone: The Primarch of the Space Wolves has a fittingly deep and commanding voice courtesy of his actor Zoran The Bear.
  • Badass Boast: He does a Space Marine variation on the infamous Navy SEAL copypasta. amusingly enough, it's not exactly inaccurate in his case.
  • Berserk Button: Really does not appreciate Fyodor openly claiming that he is the mortal embodiment of the emperor and calling him "son", though not nearly to the same degree as any mention of Magnus the Red, which is strong enough to make him completely ignore the former button being pressed.
  • Bestiality Is Depraved: Both Magnus and the Emperor are convinced he has a wolf fetish, with the former always referring to him as a "furry fuck". It's not really clear if that's true or they're both overhyping his...quirks, but he certainly does have a love of saying the word "wolf" or some variation thereof.
  • Boisterous Bruiser: Keeps going on about how he is a badass due to wolves while chugging warp-brewed liquor.
  • Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Presented as a fairly badass individual capable enough to handle the entire Inquisition single-handedly and live in the Warp without losing his sanity... And also absolutely obsessed with wolves, and alcohol.
  • Carpet of Virility: According to Whammudes, he's apparently about as hairy within that armor too. Though Whammudes himself puts it in a very ill light, since it falls completely outside his taste to the point his sheer bulk and personality just do not make up for it.
  • Deadpan Snarker: While the Emperor loves to fly into rage, Russ' disses are usually more subtle and delivered in more deadpan fashion.
  • Determinator: The only way to survive in the Warp is to genuinely believe, whole-heartedly, that you can fight and win. Normal humans cannot, and even Inquisitors need to get boozed up on Russ' ale to survive. Leman Russ, however, is able to carry out his endless, centuries-long war in the Warp singlehandedly (with some help from Kaldor Draigo, though he doesn't really count) based on his pure willpower...and some ale never hurt either.
  • Drunken Master: It's implied that he preserved his sanity through his long stay in the Warp by being drunk the whole time. It also helps him defeat the many daemons he encounters.
  • Facepalm: His entire reaction and feelings summed up when the Inquisition starts calling the Star-Child infused Fyodor, essentially the Emperor himself, a heretic.
  • Foreign Cuss Word: "I mean, for Helvete's sake, you look like you haven't fought or fucked anything for decades, you MILKSOP!"
  • Horrifying the Horror: In a Voxcast, he does this to a group of Drukhari by playing a game of 20 Questions. One of the Drukhari horrified by Russ is one that, in a previous episode, was actively looking forward to killing Daemons in horrible ways.
  • Personal Raincloud: His surroundings in the Warp look like a small-scale Fenris reenaction.
  • Politically Incorrect Hero: Makes absurdly sexist comments towards the Sisters of Battle, most prominently the below-mentioned "Red Rage" joke. It's Played for Laughs.
  • Raised by Wolves: He thinks it is a great idea for other people to be so as well because wolf raising made him wolfin' strong!
  • Rapid-Fire Fisticuffs: Leman wasn't kidding when he said he was a CQC expert, seeing as how with one punch he literally tore a Dark Eldar in half and then proceeded to utilize this trope on the upper half until it was a red misty death.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech:
    • Delivers one to Karamazov as soon as he encounters him. It's about how he's a pussy for sitting on his throne all the time instead of killing things personally and it completely breaks Karamazov.
    • In the TTS Special Warp Hijinx, he gives one to EACH AND EVERYONE ONE OF THE INQUISITION ORDERS on why they won't survive in the Warp.
      • The Ordos Xenos are gene-stealer obsessed nuts who don't even know what daemons are.
      • The Grey Knights are the inquisitorial equivalent of spoiled wealthy children (and the leading Grey Knight's accent is weird and full of waffles, probably because his voice actor is from Belgium).
      • The Ordos Hereticus is the inquisitorial equivalent of child molesters, who will likely kill more inquisitors than the daemons.
      • The Sisters of Battle will be "eaten out like ice cream sandwiches by daemons of Khorne when [their] red rage starts".
      • The Stormtroopers are so pathetic that they explode with little or no provocation.
      • The Deathwatch are pussies because they've only fought pussy enemies like the Tau ("who don't even fight in melee!"). And Calato (the Dark Angel who keeps firing back at Russ) specifically is a "nancy lion-lover BITCH".
  • Reality Warper: Much as he hates Magnus, he is a Primarch who has spent millennia in the Warp, and as such, a psyker. This comes out when playing Twenty Questions, having everything he is thinking of slowly come manifest. And he mentions he played it exactly this way before with his brother.
  • Really 700 Years Old: Does he look thousands of years old? Granted, time is funky in the Warp.
  • Red Baron: Introduces himself as the Primarch of the Vlka Fenryka, the Wolf King of Fenris and the Emperor's Executioner.
  • Smurfing: Sometimes, particularly when upset. "What the WOLF did you just say about me!?"
  • Tranquil Fury: His reaction to Karamazov calling him son. Which leads into a blow to the face so hard and loud it can be heard outside of the warp and in the Imperial Palace! But even that is nothing compared to any mention of Magnus the Red. His voice is low, but full of hatred, and the entire Warp surrounding them turns black when he's brought up.
  • Van Helsing Hate Crimes: He was preparing a massacre of Daemon villagers whose activities involved kissing their wives and working in the Nurgling mines.
  • Verbal Tic: Has a habit of inserting "wolf" or some variation of it into his sentences, particularly when he's shouting.

    The Inquisition 

The Holy Orders of the Emperor's Inquisition. Judges, Jury and Executioners of The Imperium
Keep in mind that this is being said to The Custodes.

Torquemada Coteaz voiced by: Superanchors

A collection of highly religious and incredibly powerful orders who were tasked with rooting out threats caused by aliens, heretics and daemons within The Imperium. Unfortunately, they have a tendency to cause far more harm than good as a result of their rampant paranoia and fanaticism to dogma, leading to The Emperor eventually having Magnus send the vast majority of them into The Warp along with their then appointed representative, Fyodor Karamazov.

  • Alas, Poor Villain: Their various deaths in Episode 26 are about as hilarious as they are regrettable.
  • Berserk Button: HERETICS.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: They feel no remorse at killing anyone suspected of heresy and will subject planets to Exterminatus for petty reasons, but they exiled Kryptmann for being too cruel. Rogal points this out when the Emperor makes the mistake of thinking him more rational and less kill-happy.
  • Heroic Willpower: All the survivors of the warp journey are this.
  • Hold the Line: In Episode 26, they fend off a massive daemon army that is trying to destroy their psyker force, who are trying to open the Gate of Khaine. Unfortunately for them, their army is substantially smaller and they get massacred once the daemons get into melee. Elirush and Adrielle are Killed Off for Real in this battle.
  • Mauve Shirt: Though most of them are tough enough to survive for a while in the Warp, particularly when they drink Leman Russ' Fenrisian Ale, in Episode 26 both Adrielle and Grand Master Elirush are slain in battle by Skarbrand. Donklas only survives by "enforcing discipline in the back" and grabbing the Sister of Battle Canoness as the Sisters get slaughtered.
  • No Name Given: Adrielle wasn't named until Alfa learned she actually has one in 40k proper. Grand Master Elirush and Ordo Hereticus Agent Donklas' names are only known because Episode 26 Part 1 is a general recreation of an actual tabletop battle and the results of key moments of the game are displayed on the screen as the action unfolds.
  • Only Sane Man: You will have a hard time finding anyone in the Inquisition as sane or reasonable as Coteaz.
  • State Sec: Their role before The Emperor disbanded them is to find and execute (possible) enemies to the state. Or, in their words, "PURGE THE HERETICS!"
  • Ungrateful Bastard The Star-Child infused Fyodor, essentially the Emperor himself, saves what remains of the Inquisition from being killed by the Chaos army as well as saving them from a Dark Eldar trap and healing those caught in said trap. Yet despite all this, the moment he merely suggests they should just hear what the Dark Eldar are saying because they are acting really atypical for their race? They immediately start calling him a heretic.

Inquisitor Donklas of the Ordo Hereticus

Donklas voiced by: Delred

An Inquisitor with a love for executing heretics.

  • Even Evil Has Loved Ones: After Elirush and Adrielle meet their fate, Donklas proceeds to mourn them as his friends before praying to not meet the same fate.
    Donklas: All my friends are dead... I don't want to die in this horrible magical hell...
  • Lampshade Hanging: Donklas in the Warp Hijinks special while drunk lampshades where he got his mask considering the last time he was seen he didn't wear any.
  • Run or Die: Donklas only lives because he knows better than to fight the daemons directly in melee.
    Donklas (dragging the Canoness): Now is not the time for lying about. Now is the time for running the fuck away!
  • Sex Is Violence: Ordo Hereticus Agent Donklas finds it rather arousing to kill potential heretics.
  • Sole Survivor: The only named Inquisitor to survive Khaine's Gate.

Inquisitor Adrielle Quist of the Ordo Xenos

Adrielle Quist voiced by: Habbia

An Inquisitor who has strong feelings towards Genestealers.

  • Character Death: Reduced to a fine red mist by Skarbrand.
  • Crippling Overspecialization: She's obsessive about fighting genestealers, to the point where she doesn't even seem to know what a daemon is.
  • Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Though Adrielle's constant obsession with genestealers is mostly played for laughs, this pure hatred she has towards them has made her strong enough to singlehandedly take on entire genestealer cults on her own and win without a scratch. Sadly for her, Skarbrand was far worse than any Genestealer Cult.
  • Tsundere: Talks a lot about how much she hates Genestealers. Also talks about "Broodlord-kun" when drunk.
  • Worf Had the Flu: When Adrielle dies she's extremely hungover and still a little drunk. Not to mention the bomb that landed on her earlier.

Grand Master Elirush of the Ordo Malleus

Grand Master Elirush voiced by: Eliphas

A Grand Master of the Grey Knights.

  • Character Death: Axed into a paste by Skarbrand.
  • What the Hell Is That Accent?: His voice is muffled by his mask and frequently degenerates into "waffles." The accent itself underneath that might be Belgian based on his vocie actor.

Ex-Inquisitor Fidus Kryptmann of the Ordo Xenos, Hero of the Macharian Heresy

Inquisitor Kryptmann voiced by: ComradeCrimson

An Inquisitor (in)famous for his work against the Tyranids. Takes center stage in a trilogy of episodes called "BEHEMOTH", which also details the first encounter with the Tyranids.

  • The Bus Came Back: An older Kryptman from the BEHEMOTH Shorts returns in Episode 26: Part 2
  • Cool Shades: Always wearing a pair to his consternation. He actually stumbles onto the Tyranids because an order for a new set of glasses went unfulfilled for six months.
  • Did You Just Flip Off Cthulhu?: Call Leman Russ incompetent to his face.
  • Giver of Lame Names: Played with. His original name for Tyranids was "Space Bugs of Death," but Deathwatch agrees that Behenoth is a pretty rad name for their swarm.
  • Heroic Willpower: Kryptman can get so righteously indignant that his rage can shake off a psychic attack from a Tyranid Norn Queen.
  • I Take Offense to That Last One!: When Leman Russ calls him one of Fyodor's irrational carnage cronies, he objects to two-thirds of that description. He's very rational and his mass-murder is independent.
  • It's Not Porn, It's Art: Kryptman genuinely believes that his "xeno data collection" is a library of legitimate information regarding extraterrestrial reproduction habits and social behaviors, and studies them under that lens.
  • Old Soldier: He's a veteran of all three Tyrannic wars, which means A) he's old enough to have fought in all of them, and B) he fought in all of them.
  • Only Sane Man: Ironically, Kryptmann is perhaps the most sane Inquisitor. This only makes him more vicious in his attempts to commit large scale genocide in the name of stoping the Tyranids.
    Kryptmann: My opinion IS: straight-laced, self-strangulating sheeplings slapping "heresy" on anything even halfway logical is what brought us into this mess in the first place. Maybe taking two seconds to consider options that aren't "purge this," "cleanse that," and "BURN BURN BURN!" might prove beneficial even if you don't wind up doing it.
  • Pragmatic Villainy: Kryptman seems to be a big believer in this. He is by any estimation a terrible person, but he seems less interested in committing atrocities for fun than because he genuinely thinks they're legitimate means to an end. That said, he's managed to kill exponentially more innocent people than have the Inquisitors who do murder for fun, with the exception of Headsmash.note 
  • The Precious, Precious Car: He is outraged at the loss of his ship at the end of the BEHEMOTH trilogy, which in the setting is a very big deal due to there being a finite amount of his class of vessel in the universe.
  • Protagonist Journey to Villain: He begins BEHEMOTH as a typically unpleasant Inquisitor, but the horrors of fighting the Tyranids eventually foster the belief that large scale sacrifice is necessary (and acceptable) to defeat them.
  • Sword Cane: No. A gun cane.

Inquisitor Headsmash

Inquisitor Headsmash voiced by: Zegram

An Inquisitor whose first, last, and only reaction to just about anything is Extermiantus.

  • Heroic Willpower: Inquisitor Headsmash is the only Inquisitor to fully resist a direct psychic command from the Star Child infused Fyodor. This is something that even Leman Russ failed out though he was probably given more focus than most as the Star Child especially wanted him under control. There is no indication that Headsmash is a blank, so he really has just that strong a will.
  • In Love with Your Carnage: Inquisitor Headsmash reacts to Leman Russ vaporizing a Dark Eldar with Rapid-Fire Fisticuffs with almost schoolgirl-like glee.
    Headsmash: (pitch slowly rising) Have I died and gone to murder-heaven?
  • Karma Houdini Warranty: Despite having doomed at least a few planets through Exterminatus for the most minor offenses, such as a single oppressed citizen screaming about joining Chaos or his own freaking allies doing the killing, Inquisitor Headsmash avoided getting sent into The Warp like most of his fellow Inquisitors, because he didn't join up with Karamozov. Then in Episode 26: Part 2, he winds up getting pulled into Commorragh due to Exterminatusing a sun, seemingly as a form of Retirement/Suicide only for Draigo to hop onto his ship and eat said sun.
  • Only Sane Man: Somehow, Headsmash is the voice of reason after Emperor Fyodor uses his psychic powers to convince the Inquisition to work with the Dark Eldar.
    Headsmash: So, like.. am I actually going to have to be the straight man here in pointing out how bad this idea is? It feels... gross.


Deathwatch, Chamber Militant of the Ordo Xenos

A group of Space Marines withdrawn from their chapters to serve directly under the Inquisitorial Ordo Xenos.

  • Canon Immigrant: Calato and Wilford debuted in BEHEMOTH before showing up in the Text-To-Speech series.
  • Dark Is Not Evil: In Deathwatch tradition their armor is painted black regardless of their chapter of origin.
  • Foreshadowing: The presence of Kryptman's Deathwatch Kill Team in Fyodor's warparty foreshadows that Kryptman himself is there as well.
  • Mass "Oh, Crap!": Along with Kryptman, they give one when Captain Godfrey informs them of the Swarmlord.
    Kryptman: How did it look like? HOW DID IT LOOK LIKE??
    Godfrey: The same but bigger, meaner, with four really nasty swords!
    Kryptman & Kill Team: [Beat] FUCK!!
  • Put on a Bus: After BEHEMOTH, Lynius and Vludn were sent back to their chapter, while Cyrus was stolen by the Blood Ravens, explaining why they weren't in the group that got sent into the Warp.

Champion Calato

Voiced by: Yohan Gas Mask

A champion from the Dark Angels chapter.

  • Berserk Button: Calato doesn't take too kindly to people badmouthing the Dark Angels. He's also infuriated by being made to work as a cook.
  • Brain Bleach: A Noodle Incident with "poop golems" on Scator deeply scarred him and he regularly schedules sessions with a mind clenser when his squadmates remind him of it.
  • Butt-Monkey: In BEHEMOTH, he's repeatedly robbed of any chance at glory in combat and relegated to a glorified secretary.
  • Did You Just Flip Off Cthulhu?: Calls Leman Russ "dogfucker" to his face.
  • Mercy Kill: Why he claims he kills a Sister of Battle Canoness after she sarcastically says she has an urge to lay down and die. It's actually because he wanted a bigger kill count, though her badmouthing his chapter probably didn't help.
  • Pre Ass Kicking One Liner: "Not on our Death-Watch!"
  • Throwing Your Shield Always Works: Averted. He considers throwing his shield at the Norn Queen, but decides it would be too derivative.
  • Would Hurt a Child: He clubs Billy with a baseball batwith no provcation.

Apothecary Wilford

Voiced by: Stellar Elite

An apothecary from the Ultramarine chapter.

  • Captain Obvious:
    • His appraisal of a Rot Fly bombing run.
    Wilford: Ingesting high amounts of explosives equals high risk of suffering terminal DEATH!
    • He calls staying around to face an approaching army of daemons "medically inadvisable."
  • Combat Medic: He may be an apothecary, but he's still a Space Marine. At one point he manages to kill a Plaguebearer with a bolt pistol.
  • Defector from Decadence: Wilford went on "vigil" with the Deathwatch to get away from his fellow Ultramarines. Of note, this was before they underwent their radical shift into nigh-unbeatable, insufferable uniformity. The disdain goes both ways somewhat as a brief meeting between him and Marneus Calgar at the end of the BEHEMOTH trilogy concluded with his former commander calling him a quitter and telling him to stay on his "vigil".
  • Improbable Aiming Skills: Thanks to a good roll by the series' developers, he once managed to get a critical headshot with the infamously inaccurate Bolt Pistol.
  • Insufferable Genius: Concisely described by Kryptman as a "dissident cunt".
  • Nine out of Ten Doctors Agree: Parodied, at one point he states that "one out of one apothecaries" recommends something, with himself obviously being the only apothecary around.
  • Tactical Withdrawal: When the Kill Team is broken by daemons he retreats and drags Calato with him. It saves both their lives.

Runepriest Volund

Voiced by: Stellar Elite

A librarian from the Space Wolves chapter.

  • Evil Laugh: The Tyranid Hive Mind delivers one through him when the Swarmlord arrives on the battlefield.
  • Nice Guy: Considered too nice and optimistic for Deathwatch. Which gets him ultimately dismissed from the team.
  • Only Sane Man: The most rational of the Deathwatch squad.
  • Worf Had the Flu: Thanks to the Shadow in the Warp, he's not of much use against the Tyranids.

Killmarine Lynius

Killmarine Lynius voiced by: Comrade Crimson

A marine from the Space Wolves chapter.

  • An Axe to Grind: Lynius wields a poweraxe.
  • Chippendales Dancers: While waiting for an approaching Tyranid fleet, he enjoys himself by dancing for some Sisters of Battle while wearing little more than his helmet.
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot: He's the most profane member of the Deathwatch squad, ranging from standard curse words to creavily vulgar expressions.
  • Toilet Humour: Fond of it, though his superiors are less so to the point that they kick him out of the Deathwatch for that alone.


Cyrus voiced by: Steve Blum (via stock audio)
A sniper form an unspecified chapter.
  • Cold Sniper: An excellent shot with very little interaction with his squadmates. Notably he kills the Norn Queen with anry a quip to be found.
  • Expy: A blatant one of Wolverine.
  • Kill Steal: He repeatedly robs Calato of the chance to acctually kill anything.
    Calato: It's a kill-TEAM! Not a kill-individual!
  • Origin Story: BEHEMOTH ends with him being kidnapped by the Blood Ravens, explaining how he came to work for them in other works in the franchise.

    Sisters of Battle 

Sisters of Battle

Canoness Albia Thorne voiced by: Geminaye

  • Honor Before Reason: The Canoness refuses to fire on the daemons attacking the tauroxes for fear of hurting their allies. As a result the tauroxes are destroyed and the Sisters are massacred.
  • Power Fist: The Canoness wields on her right hand. Or her left fist.

    Tempestus Scions 

Tempestus Scions, Storm Troopers of the Administratum

Tempestor Cromwell voiced by: Fresh
Scion Grant voiced by: Geminaye
Scion Matilda voiced by: Snipe
Scion Stuart voiced by: Thunder Psyker
Scion Valentine voiced by: Voyboy
Scion Priestly voiced by: Remleiz

A detachment of troops from the Adminsitratum, attached to the Ordo Xenos.

  • Action Survivor: They are soldiers, but they might as well be civilians considering how deadly the Warp is. The fact that they survive it is an incredible feat.
  • Bring My Brown Pants: Grant's reaction to the advancing daemons.
  • Distinguishing Mark: Considering they're common grunts, this is necessary to tell them apart. They're mostly Color-Coded for Your Convenience by the lenses of their masks, with Stuart's being blue, Valentine's being red, and everyone else's being green. OF the three with green lenses, Priestly has a hat on over his helmet, Grant has no central stripe on his helmet and a blue monoscope, and Matilda is the only one with yellow-black marks on both pauldrons and no monoscope.
  • Helmets Are Hardly Heroic: You can distinguish their leader, Temepstor Cromwell, by his lack of a helmet.
  • Heroic Willpower: As many of the Scions were untested in risking the worst powers of Chaos, many of them died, but the surviving Scions are the best of the best of the best that the Imperial Guard has to offer.
  • Pointy-Haired Boss: Cromwell ignores Priestly very justified complaint that their chosen position is in a daemonic bombardment zone because Priestly wasn't given permission to speak. That being said, there wasn't going to be cover anywhere and running away was not an option, so attritional warfare was really the only choice. Arguing the point was just a waste of time. As soon as the Gray Knights die, Cromwell pulls everyone back when it's suggested to him.
  • Tactical Withdrawal: They survive the Gate of Khaine by advancing backwards.
  • Vehicular Theme Naming: They are all named after World War II tanks.

    Kaldor Draigo 

Kaldor Draigo, Supreme Grand Master of the Grey Knights
"Hands do not exist in my reality!"

Voiced by: Gemineye

The leader and the mightiest warrior to ever grace the ranks of the Grey Knights, a masterful combatant and unmatched psyker who has defeated the forces of Chaos and even bested Daemon Primarchs countless times all on his own while remaining in the realm of madness and insanity that is The Warp. While his body has persisted for centuries, however, his mind clearly fell ages ago.

  • Apocalypse Maiden: Apparently the Deceiver thinks Kaldor Draigo entering the Materium will end the galaxy.
  • Badass Beard: His beard is home to many tiny men that he requires help in killing.
  • Badass in Charge: Leader of the best Daemonslayers in the Imperium.
  • Badass Preacher: Comes with being part of an army of paladins but he doesn't do any preaching.
  • Beware the Silly Ones: He's hilariously insane, prone to random ridiculous outbursts and cartoonish actions. His combat prowess, however, is just as ridiculous; his battles last milliseconds, and he wins before anyone can notice.
    • As silly and ridiculous as he is, Kaldor Draigo is so incredibly powerful and dangerous that the Deceiver himself is afraid of him and is moving to stop him from returning to the Materium.
  • Bunny-Ears Lawyer: He might be a complete loon, but he sure knows how to wreck Daemons and fallen Primarchs.
  • Cloudcuckoolander: It doesn't matter how much of a badass you are. Spend enough time in the Warp and you will go nuts eventually! This has reached the point where Russ doesn't even consider him sentient anymore. Draigo agrees.
  • Comically Invincible Hero: Draigo has thus far proven for all intents and purposes invincible. If something gets in his way he can inflict a hilariously short Curb-Stomp Battle on it. The only thing that can stop him are bad die rolls.
  • Curb-Stomp Battle: Defeats Magnus before Kitten can even finish a sentence, and later destroys the Masque of Slaanesh with a single stab.
  • Demon Slaying: He's so good at it that he knocks out the true form of Magnus the Red in a single punch in the blink of an eye.
  • Epic Fail: In Episode 26, due to the battle being modeled after a real game of Warhammer the creators played wherein Draigo fell prey to the ultimate enemy of any 40K soldier- repeatedly failing your rolls.
  • Go-Karting with Bowser: While he may be the greatest daemon-slayer in the whole of the galaxy or Warp, he's still a swell enough guy that Lucius and Ahriman invited him as a guest for their Slaaneshmas show. He's also strongly implied by the Masque to be the Silver Knight of Slaanesh, as the Masque speaks to him in a friendly manner and then calls him a traitor when he suddenly stabs her in the face.
  • Heroes Prefer Swords: Like most of the Grey Knights he carries a Nemesis Force Sword, although considering his insanity he rarely ever uses it normally.
  • Large Ham: Even when he is whispering his presence is huge.
  • Luckily, My Shield Will Protect Me: Carries around a shield that looks like the Inquisition's logo, although he actually never uses it.
  • Old Master: At least a few centuries old and still slaughtering daemons.
  • Parody Sue: A deconstruction of Drago, who has been decried by most of the fandom as a Canon Sue for being able to not only survive in the Warp, but also fight Chaos on its own turf, single-handedly, and actually score victories. In TTS, due to the Warp's Your Mind Makes It Real properties, it is possible to survive in the Warp if you have enough unshakable confidence in yourself - but the only way to attain it is to either be piss-drunk (like Leman Russ) or be stark raving mad. This results in a Draigo who is every bit as powerful as he is in canon alright, but he's less the flawless paragon of righteousness Matt Ward portrayed him as and more of a Looney Tunes character.
  • Person of Mass Destruction: Erasing an entire star from existence has to qualify, and the Deceiver is entirely convinced he is one so powerful and unstable the galaxy may not survive his return to the material world.
  • Self-Duplication: Claims to be a member of the "Ordo Draigo", which consists entirely of warpspawned clones of himself.
  • Shout-Out: He's a giant walking shout-out to "Trials of Draigo" by FlashGitz.
  • Suddenly SHOUTING!: Don't expect his insanity to allow him to speak in a quiet manner for too long.
  • Summoning Ritual: If you require his services, you will need a Dreadknight, a kettle of Sororitas blood, and the book of Magnus, while reading a backwards chant that praises the Grey Knights.
  • Unusually Uninteresting Sight: Despite the fact that he's lost his grip on reality (or reality's lost his grip on him. Probably both) and his propensity for surreal visual gags, Russ seems unable to notice or acknowledge him. In episode 24, he's conversing relatively normally, suggesting that Russ is used to Kaldor's eccentricities.
  • Weird Sun: He claims to be a warp star, and can shine like one to prove it. This apparently counts as a "sunrise" in the Warp. He also literally survives being inside a sun on sheer willpower.
  • Your Mind Makes It Real: A feature of the Warp but combined with Draigo's insanity, this has created some...interesting results.

    The Star Child 

The Star Child, Excised Compassion of The Emperor

Voiced by: Randolph Carter

A glowing child with the voice of a man who rides a reed boat. Implied to be the Emperor's lost soul or the embodiment of his discarded compassion and humanity that he needed to lose in order to lead the Imperium.

  • Absurdly Bright Light: After fusing with Fyodor he emits a light so bright that it can be seen throughout the entirety of the Warp, outside the Eye of Terror, and the entire fucking galaxy.
  • Actually Pretty Funny: He can't help but chuckle when he realizes the Dark Eldar have left a "Welcome to Commorragh" sign where the only way to see it would be entry through the Gate of Khaine.
  • Big Damn Heroes: If it weren't for him, Fyodor, Russ and what's left of The Inquisition would have perished by Skarbrand's big daemon axe.
  • Big Good: He's The Emperor with a dose of self-awareness and humility, so he qualifies even more than his thronebound counterpart.
  • Fusion Dance: After taking over Fyodor, the end result is basically Fyodor with the Emperor's hair, hair color and love for the color gold.
  • Heaven: Imperials believe that the souls of the loyal are with the Emperor after death; he's that Emperor.
  • Power Glows: His resurrection into Fyodor's body creates a psyker-based light so bright it not only utterly destroys the daemon army nearby, but it glows throughout the entire Warp and even out into the material world so far it can be seen outside the galaxy!
  • Leitmotif: Chairbound Prankster which plays when he and Fyodor become one.
  • Light Is Good: Due to being a fragment of the Emperor himself, and supposedly his compassion, he definitely fits both light and good.
  • Nice Guy: Considering he's the embodiment of the Emperor's Compassion, he's really pleasant.
  • Self-Deprecation: Fully admits that all of Fyodor's faults (self-important, angry, hypocritical, throne-bound) can just as easily be applied to himself as part of the Emperor.
  • Strong Family Resemblance: In a way, you can clearly tell that he's a fragment of the Emperor considering he has the same fabulous hair as he does.


The Bro Trip


Vulkan, Primarch of The Salamanders
Congratulations, My Friends!

Voiced by: ComradeCrimson

One of the 20 Primarchs, the genetically-modified, superhuman children of the Emperor. Specifically, Primarch of the Salamanders. Prophesized to return when his chapter gathers all of his relics together.

  • And Call Him "George"!: His hugs can make a Primarch start screaming in agony, and he's very generous with them. Word of God says that after his return he gave a lot of hugs to his entire Chapter, and that many of them needed to visit the Apothecary afterwards.
  • Beware the Nice Ones: Vulkan may be the friendliest person in the entire setting, but don't forget that he is a Primarch. His big, friendly hugs can still crush other Primarchs, let alone lesser mortals, and he is implied to have just forced Covus Corax into the Engine of Woes against his will. And don't forget that the reason why he's orking out every now and then is because he engaged The Beast, perhaps the one creature that got closest to wiping out the Imperium, in hand to hand combat and sort-of won.
    • He also burned Caldera to the ground when he found out that the humans there were worshiping Eldar Exodites, wiping the entire planet of all life. Nice guy or not, that certainly sends a message.
  • Catch Phrase: Adventure!
  • Came Back Wrong: Kinda. The closest he ever got to dying and having it stick was against the Beast, which he defeated by tackling it into an Ork Power Generator, which runs on pure WAAAAGH! energy. Thus, Magnus theorizes that his consciousness and the Ork gestalt consciousness have fused.
  • The Cuckoolander Was Right: Vulkan is the only major leader in the Salamander-Raven Guard crusade who thinks that the Emperor really has redeemed Magnus and reformed the Ecclesiarchy and the Inquisition, which the others dismiss (probably because something like that would be too optimistic for, you know, Warhammer 40K). Of course, he's actually completely correct.
    • In general he just seems to have a proper grasp of what people in this universe really are like. The above is one example, he knows the Emperor would do something like that. Another is when Brainghost!Ferrus comes claiming that "FLESH IS WEEEEEEAK!" only for Vulkan to smack the shit out of him, coldly stating the real Ferrus would have said the opposite (and he's correct in it; Ferrus Manus was not nearly as much of a fan of cybernetic replacements as his legion thinks he was).
  • Cuteness Proximity: His reaction to encountering an alien frog that he's just been warned will release a deadly toxin if threatened? An overwhelming compulsion to "boop de snoot".
    Corvax: Do not boop that merry suicide bomber.
  • Dumbass Has a Point:
    • When Corvus Corax argues that they should ignore the Catachan Guardsmen's call for help in favor of making to Terra as quickly as possible to stop Magnus the Red, Vulkan points out that if they rescue the Guardsmen they'll have more troops as part of their Crusade. While his intentions are more...idealistic...than what Corax would prefer, his argument is completely valid, and even Corax admits it.
    • He's also willing to consider the possibility that the Emperor has returned and has brought Magnus back into his fold, unlike Corax, pointing out how in-character the Emperor's supposed declarations are.
  • Easily Forgiven: Upon seeing Magnus again, the first thing Vulkan wants to do is give him a hug. Specifically an "I'm not mad that you ruined everything forever" hug! And he doesn't hold Magnus accidentally killing him against him in the slightest, either.
    • That being said, the "I'm not mad that you ruined everything forever" hug was exceptionally brutal and painful compared to the hug given to Corax, suggesting that Vulkan might have been just a little peeved with him. Made more ominous by the fact he apparently did not "finalise" this hug and is eager to do so (along with hugging the Emperor "ONE BRITTLE BONE AT A TIME"). Though this can be explained by the fact that Magnus' spine is still broken from his fight with Leman Russ, and is very sensitive to violently affectionate Primarch-hugs.
  • Evil Brit: When the Ork consciousness slips through, Vulkan's Jamaican accent becomes the usual Ork Cockney. Technically, all Orks are Evil Brits, but here it is very apparent because of how much of a Nice Guy is Vulkan otherwise.
  • Fashionable Asymmetry: As you can see, one of his pauldrons is decorated with a giant salamander (the animal) skull.
  • From a Single Cell: By his own admission he got splattered throughout space and time itself after his encounter with The Beast, and he managed to bounce back from it.
  • Foil: To Corvus. Both were in darkness for many millennia, both see Ferrus and both are rather insane. However, while Vulkan constantly disagrees with Brainghost Ferrus and is extremely cheerful, Corvus is agrees with him and is straight up depressed. Vulkan also forgives Magnus (and everyone for that matter) while Corvus doesn't forgive Magnus at all (or himself, for that matter.)
  • Good Angel, Bad Angel: The ghost of Ferrus seems to act as the bad sort for him.
  • Good Thing You Can Heal: Being the only one with a Resurrective Immortality, Vulkan takes much more damage than any other being in the series. He even outright exploits it by tanking an Exterminatus warhead. While this does leave him a charred husk by the end, barely able to speak, he does survive, and will no doubt regenerate in time.
  • Got the Call on Speed Dial: Appears mere seconds after all the Artifacts are brought together. Apparently, going by the events in the story, bringing Vulkan's artifacts back to Prometheus was completely inconsequential - he had already been resurrected (he was even in Prometheus already); he just chose to return that moment so he could destroy all of the Artifacts, which he hated. Since he was already on-site, he jumped onto a dropship and launched himself down on a drop pod just to give the Salamanders a big, happy surprise.
  • Healing Factor: Lesser injuries that don't kill him outright still heal quite fast. During the second Bro Trip episode, after the ship he's riding on crashes, one can actually see his bare skull grow back its skin and other varied flesh bits. The life-eater virus placed in the bomb Clancy attacked them with however, turns out able to beat his regeneration, but Vulkan manages to survive, thanks to being infused with the Ork Gestalt conciseness, which suddenly makes him up disappear.
  • Hearing Voices: He hears (and sees) the ghost of his brother Ferrus Manus, who he keeps telling to shut up. Time will tell if it's the genuine article or a hallucination.
    Vulkan: "Now I have returned! To bring peace and friendship through the entire Imperium! No matter what the voices in my head say!"
    Ghost of Ferrus: "You are weeeak Vulkan!"
    Vulkan: "Shut your not-face, brain ghost Ferrus! You are NOT friend..."
    • The fact that Corvus Corax can see him too while Magnus can't raises many questions.
  • Leitmotif: "For Friendship!", a theme as uplifting as the man himself.
  • Love Freak: Keeps going on about friendship and basically mentions "friendship" or "friend" in every sentence he says.
    Vulkan: I got nothin' but FRIENDLINESS for you, because you are my big friendly big brother friend!
  • Ludicrous Gibs: The end result of his fight with The Beast and part of the reason it took so long for him to return was his body was exploded so hard that it spread across time and space itself. The only reason he's even alive is due to his Resurrective Immortality as a Perpetual.
  • Mental Fusion: Magnus posits that after Vulkan tackled The Beast into a reactor full of WAAAGH! energy and exploded, a part of his mind and soul fused with the Ork gestalt consciousness, which accounts for his Ork episodes. The Emperor sums this up as stating Vulkan is now half-Ork.
  • Nice Guy: But of course. He isn't even angry at Magnus for betraying them all, outright insulting what he's been doing (outright agreeing with him in that it's stupid) or killing him with the Engine of Woes, and is generally just the most cheerful guy you could ever find, without a mean bone in his body.
    • This extends to he and Corvus' spin-off, in which he suggests that perhaps the Emperor is the one who disbanded the Ecclesiarchy and the Inquisition. It doesn't work, but he tried. He's also the one who argues in favor of rescuing the Catachan Guardsmen from a Chaos Invasion; this time, he's much more successful.
  • Oh, Crap!: Has this when the Engine of Woes is hurtling towards him at a high speed with a resounding "OH ZOG!"
  • The Pollyanna: The very fact that he lives in the Warhammer 40,000 universe and has gruesomely died multiple times yet still keeps his cheery and optimistic demeanor makes him this. Though other characters wonder if this is due to some Sanity Slippage.
  • The Power of Friendship: Apparently friendship and teamwork and all that good stuff were necessary to finding the artifacts, according to him anyway. His belief in the power of friendship does, among other things, let him instantly tame any animal he comes across, even giant, savage beasts, and commune with psychic creatures.
  • Red Eyes, Take Warning: Like all Salamanders, they make him look quite eerie, but unless you're the Imperium's enemy they don't mean he's any sort of threat to you. They do noticeably redden and bug out every time he has an Orky outburst, however.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: The upbeat, cheery Red to Corvus' emo, brooding Blue.
  • Resurrective Immortality: He's a Perpetual, meaning that if he's killed, he'll eventually regenerate and return to life. Shown during the series when Magnus, in pain, hits him with the Engine of Woes so hard that it kills him and releases Corvus Corax from his imprisonment within. Within a few minutes he's up again and happy as ever. And again when he boops an extremely poisonous Catachan Barking Toad on the head and causes it to explode, killing him due to the poisonous toxins. Once again, after a few minutes, he is completely fine. Not even being ground zero for an Exterminatus will keep him down.
  • Sanity Slippage: Must've happened to him somewhere between Curze's torture, Ferrus' brain-ghost, and spending ten thousand years alone in a tiny corner of Prometheus, considering how obsessed he is with friendship. Episode 25 shows he also occasionally slips into Ork mannerisms, as a result of ramming The Beast into a reactor full of WAAAGH! Energy.
  • Scary Black Man: Subverted. Kitten assumes that the Salamanders are not as well-regarded as the Ultramarines because they are black (that is to say, coal-black, not black like the actual human skin tones) and red-eyed, but he notes the Salamanders are among the nicest Space Marines in the Imperium, and some of the few people in it who care about the common folk. The Emperor, who doesn't remember the Salamanders being black, assumes at first that Kitten is being racist. Vulkan further subverts the trope by being even bigger than the other Salamanders, and a Love Freak.
  • Stupid Good: The Emperor considers him "too fucking nice", and judging by his behavior, it's really not hard to see why. For example, he had absolutely no reason to believe Magnus had turned to the side of the Imperium again; for all he knew, he was still one of the most powerful and proactive traitor Primarchs in the entire galaxy. His first reaction upon seeing him was still forgiving the hell out of him with no hard feelings at all. Granted, he's suffering from Sanity Slippage, but it's implied he was only slightly better about it before it.
    • He does subvert the trope in one sense, as he is the only one to believe that the Emperor has redeemed Magnus and reformed the Ecclesiarchy and the Inquisition. This type of optimism would normally be idiotic at best and suicidal at worst in the grimdark universe of Warhammer 40K, but in this case he's actually completely correct.
  • They Killed Kenny Again: Has died twice onscreen explicitly, and two more times in implication (and counting), but as a side effect of his Resurrective Immortality, Vulkan can’t stay dead for long.
  • Too Dumb to Live: Vulkan, when the Guardsmen say that that toad you want to pet is extremely toxic to the point where even completely sealed armor is ineffective at stopping it, you do not boop it. Needless to say, he dies, then comes back as a result.
    • Vulkan actually seems rather prone to reckless actions that could easily kill him. Being a Perpetual likely means that he simply has no survival instincts as he can't die permanently.
  • Unexplained Recovery: Being a Perpetual, he can't die. When Magnus questions how he's not dead, Vulkan just said that being dead is "boring" and all his friends were here, being alive.
  • What the Hell Is That Accent?: In episode 25, he suddenly has a vaguely Jamaican accent. Except when he slips into the mangled Cockney accent of an Ork.

    Corvus Corax 

Corvus Corax, Primarch of the Raven Guard

Voiced by: Fresh

One of the 20 Primarchs, the genetically-modified, superhuman children of the Emperor. Specifically, Primarch of the Raven Guard. After having been trapped in the Engine of Woes for several millennia, Corvus was released by accident by Magnus. He's also absurdly emo too.

  • Adaptation Deviation: In canon, Corvus flew into the Warp to hunt for his traitorous brothers, and he has spent the last ten thousands of years doing so. Here it's implied that he was instead shoved into the Engine of Woes by Vulkan at some point after the Heresy and has remained stuck there since.
  • Adaptational Wimp: Yes, he's a Primarch, but it still applies, as part of his different fate here. In canon, after thousands of years in the Warp, Corvus became a terrifying force of psychic powers, bordering on Eldritch Abomination (though he can return to his mortal form at will) able to beat and nearly kill the Daemonic Lorgar. Here, nothing indicates that he has attained such power.
  • A Father to His Men: Addresses member of the Raven guard as "my children" and gives them a Rousing Speech upon meeting them again. Before his Heroic Sacrifice, he gives them a pep talk encouraging them to continue on fighting.
  • Badass in Distress: After an extremely toxic toad lands on his head, it’s assumed nobody can save him. Nobody but Sly Marbo, that is.
  • Beard of Sorrow: He wouldn't be angsty enough without a shaggy beard.
  • Berserk Button: Two obvious ones as of now:
    • Traitors, like Magnus, since he is a loyalist.
    • Oligarchs, like the ones from Jopall. He fought against similar tyrants on Kiavahr, and in his own words: "Forcing your people to pay off a debt from birth does naught but engender ire."
  • Breaking the Fourth Wall: He remarks that his trip with Vulkan is "the worst idea for a spin-off ever" and in general, seems to understand that he's in a work of fiction.
  • Cardboard Prison: He gave up almost instantly after Vulkan locked him in the Engine of Woes, a cruddy ancient automobile, believing that it would serve as a suitable punishment for his various failures as a Primarch.
  • Character Development: Already undergoes this is in his second appearance, going from dismissing the Imperial Guard at the beginning of Bro Trip Episode 1 to fully recognizing their value and worth at the end. Being saved by one of them (albeit a hilariously overpowered one) certainly helps.
  • The Comically Serious: A very angsty man in a very ridiculous universe that doesn't pass up the chance to make him the butt of a joke.
  • Deadpan Snarker: On the rare occasion he isn't angsting, he can be surprisingly snarky, usually in regard to Vulkan's peppiness.
  • Death Seeker: Corvus privately admits that he just wants to die, but his loyalty to his father, sons, and loyalist brothers means that he must continue to fight on, no matter how much he welcomes death. When he's told Atilla will be subjected to Exterminatus with himself still on, all he can say is "Fucking finally."
  • The Dreaded: As a Primarch, Corvus is so powerful that the Masque of Slaanesh, a powerful daemon, opts to flee on-sight rather than even trying to fight him.
  • Dull Surprise: He doesn't seem all that bothered by Vulkan being dead at all. In fact, he compares it to the Dropsite Massacre and all they'd need to complete it would be Ferrus's skull. He's also just as nonchalant when Vulkan comes back to life. Although this is Vulkan we're talking about.
  • Enraged by Idiocy: Like his father and brother Magnus, the sheer foolishness of the Imperium grates on him heavily. It also extends to the universe in general, which is part of why he remains The Comically Serious.
  • Failed a Spot Check: How DID that toad get on his head without him noticing?
  • Fantastic Racism: BRO TRIP 40,000: A Tale of Two Primarchs shows him having a bit of a low opinion on the Imperial Guard (A.K.A. "The Wall of Guns"), thinking them expendable at worst and at best, like the Catachan Jungle Fighters, redundant and better off being made Space Marines. Fortunately, after his life gets saved by Sly Marbo, he sees the value in the Imperial Guard and grows out of his disdain.
  • Foil: To Vulkan. Both were in darkness for many millennia, both see Ferrus and both are rather insane. However, while Vulkan constantly disagrees with Brainghost Ferrus and is extremely cheerful, Corvus is agrees with him and is straight up depressed. Vulkan also forgives Magnus (and everyone for that matter) while Corvus doesn't forgive Magnus at all (or himself, for that matter.)
  • Forgot I Could Fly: Tells Magnus he's gonna kill him...once he remembers how to move his legs. Superhuman or not, several millennia in a tight box unable to move plays havoc on one's motor functions.
  • Heroic BSoD: Has a brief depression over the nonsense around him on Attila, upon discovering the only Astropath they have is an ass - not annoying, a literal psychic donkey. This works most of the time but the current problem is Horse doesn't have a word for "Exterminatus."
  • Heroic Sacrifice: When an extremely deadly Greater Catachan Barking Toad - which will detonate like a grenade and spread super-lethal toxins over an area in excess of a kilometer if agitated even slightly - attaches itself to Corvus' head, the primarch attempts to save his companions by activating his jetpack and flying up into the atmosphere with the toad. Ultimately subverted, as Sly Marbo saves Corvus at the last moment.
  • Heroic Self-Deprecation: Never misses an opportunity to talk himself down. Like Vulkan, he can also see Ferrus as well, and doesn't disagree with the latter's accusations.
  • Humble Hero: A given since Heroic Self-Deprecation is a core part of his character. Also, when he is saved from certain death from a Greater Catachan Barking Toad by Sly Marbo, the first thing he does after he recovers from his shock is to unhesitatingly bow to the mortal who saved him. This also marks the point at which he begins to fully appreciate the Imperial Guard.
  • Intangible Man: His armor's technology allows him to do phase through things, which makes it funny how he got stuck in the Engine of Woe.
  • It's Personal: Wants to kill Magnus for being a traitor. Oh, and murdering Vulkan too.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He's standoffish, aloof, and somewhat dismissive of normal humans, but he's fatherly towards his Chapter, cares deeply about his (loyal) family, and unhesitangly respects the Catachans after one of them saves him from a Barking Toad.
  • King in the Mountain: Parodied in that he had no intention of actually escaping the Engine of Sorrows, but later played straight when he (incidentally) begins gathering the armies of mankind to "save" Terra from Magnus, righting wrongs along the way.
  • No-Sell: Despite being far from the meatiest of the Primarchs, he still shrugs off some pretty huge amounts of damage, as one Jopallian commissar trying to execute him finds out. His response to being blasted on full-auto with an Autocannon is a disinterested "those clap pretty hard", with the actual rounds having about as much effect as paintballs.
  • Oh, Crap!: He rather loudly and understandably freaks out when he realizes that a Greater Catachan Barking Toad landed on his head.
  • Purple Prose: His poetry already qualifies, and he has a tendency to outright speak like this when he gets going. He seems to call it "extrapolating", and gets mildly upset when interrupted.
  • Rebel Leader: Incites the Jopallians to fight against their oppressive upper class.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: The emo, brooding Blue to Vulkan's upbeat, cheery Red.
  • Signature Scent: Several people comment on how he smells of ammonia, to the point that it attracts a toxic frog to him and Kadus initially thinks he returned because something was wrong with his waste-disposal system.
  • Sophisticated as Hell: He has the tendency to swing between Purple Prose and the sort of terms used by actual Emo Teens.
    How forebodingly, excruciatingly super distressing.
  • Weakened by the Light: After spending ages inside a pitch black box, he reacts to sunlight as if it was painful.
  • Wrong Genre Savvy: He's remarkably quick on the uptake and during the BRO TRIP 40,000: A Tale of Two Primarchs first episode he pieces together a picture of what's going on through information he only had about a minute at most to gather. Unfortunately, he's currently Locked Out of the Loop on Magnus' returning to the fold and the Emperor's edicts.

    Ferrus Manus 

Ferrus Manus, Primarch of the Iron Hands
The flesh is weeeeeaaaaaaak....

Voiced by: Stringstorm

The ghost of Ferrus Manus, who haunts the mentally unstable Vulkan and Corvus.

  • 0% Approval Rating: Vulkan can't stand him. The spin-off implies that this is because Brain Ghost Ferrus isn't actually the real Ferrus Manus.
  • Catch Phrase: "YOU ARE WEEEAAAAK, (Insert Name Here)!"
  • Fog Feet: He's depicted with Ferrus' face on a cartoony ghost's body.
    Vulkan: He is like a skull ghost. A skost!
  • Killed Off for Real: Potentially, assuming he's not just a hallucination. then he really is dead-dead. In canon he got his head chopped off by Fulgrim at the Drop Site Massacre, and in-series Corvus (who was at the Drop Site Massacre) makes particular mention of Ferrus's severed skull.
  • Maybe Magic, Maybe Mundane: Vulkan and Corvus can see him, but Magnus and Kitten can't and presumably no one else can either. The exact reason as to why this is the case is currently unknown, though coincidentally both Primarchs were at the Drop Site Massacre where Ferrus died...
  • The Social Darwinist: He had a survival of the fittest mindset and believed all weakness in the human species needed to be least that's what the Emperor thinks. Vulkan later lampshades the fact, in reality, Ferrus knew full well the strength of flesh and that the Iron Hand's obsession with augmentation was unhealthy.
  • Spirit Advisor: Spirit demotivator in this case. He derides both Vulkan and Corvus for being "weak." Vulkan later tells the ghost off for saying such things as they are the exact opposite of what the real Ferrus Manus would say.

    The Raven Guard 

The Raven Guard

Voiced by: HulkyKrow (Kayvaan Shrike) and Dr White (Kadus)

Corvus' legion, just as depressing and eloquent as he is.

  • Animal Motifs: The Raven obviously, though when distressed they actually caw like ravens.
  • Break Out the Museum Piece: Kayvaan and Kadus are both wearing highly antiquated suits of Mark VI: Corvus power armor despite the existence of the superior Mark VII: Aquila and Mark VIII: Errant Armors. Doesn't make them any less badass, and is rather common among The Raven Guard.
  • Dark Is Not Evil: The Raven Guard is one of the more heroic and honourable Space Marine chapters, despite dressing in black armour and favoring stealth and covert operations.
  • Failed a Spot Check: To their horror, they somehow miss the extremely toxic toad climbing on Corvus' head.
  • Heroic Self-Deprecation: Kayvaan apologizes to Vulkan for being "too approachable" when Vulkan tries to apologize for hugging him too tight. They get it from their father.
  • Incredibly Lame Fun: Their idea of a "celebration" is basically taking 19-day naps.
  • Inelegant Blubbering: After Corvus is saved from death by Sly Marbo, Kayvaan runs towards him while bawling his goddamn eyes out. It's understandable too, considering he almost lost his Primarch so soon after getting him back.
  • Purple Prose: Though not as overt about it as Corvus, they also like to "extrapolate."
  • Verbal Tic: Kadus occasionally lets out a "ooaaa~" sound before his sentences.
  • Wolverine Claws: They're famous for using Lightning Claws, powered gauntlets fitted with three or four razor-sharp Adamantium blades, which they use to great effect against Slaaneshi daemons.

    Catachan Guardsmen 

The Catachan Jungle Fighters

Voiced by: George "Seoras" Exley (Colonel "Iron Hand" Straken), Kiwi (Gunnery Sergeant "Stonetooth" Harker), Munkey (Catachan Fang Wielder), SuperAnchors (Night Reaper Wielder), and ZoranTheBear (DEVIL'S CLAAAAAW Wielder)

The regiment of the Imperial guard recruited from the planet of Catachan.

  • Asskicking Equals Authority: Whoever has the biggest knife is in charge. They recognize Corvus as a Primarch because he's covered in knives.
  • Awesome Aussie: Colonel Straken's accent is markedly different from the rest of the troops.
  • Deep South: Evidently, the Catachan accent is an import from Terra because they speak like stereotypical American southerners.
  • Eating the Eye Candy: At least one of the guards sounds like he's "enjoying" the sight of Corvus's knives- as in the blades on his armor appear to be arousing the guardsman.
  • Foil: To the Custodes. Both are Walking Shirtless Scenes, but the Custodes choose to undress for purely exhibitionist purposes while the Catachan guard wear as little as possible to make the most with scarce resources (and so that their superiors can sell propaganda of them). Both have Testosterone Poisoning, but the Catachan guard don't make a big deal out of it. The Custodes are heavily augmented and look down on regular humans while the Catachan guard are all normal humans whose strength stems purely from their Training from Hell. Both are badass armies, but the Custodes (apart from Kitten) never train or fight unless ordered to by the Emperor, while the Catachan guard spend all of their time either on the front lines or sharpening their skills on their home planet. The Catachan guard travel all over to fight for the Imperium while the Custodes never leave the Imperial palace unless forced to. Both have scenes where their innuendos creep someone out, but for the Catachan guards it's either unintentional or very toned-down (or both). Also when politely asked to stop oogling Corvus, the Catachan guards immediately stop, whereas the Custodes refuse direct orders from the Emperor Himself to so much as tone it down a little.
  • Innocent Innuendo: Not that it doesn't creep Corvus out any less but their knife-measuring contests are apparently about literal knives instead of something else.
  • Knife Nut: As per usual the Catachan have knives of differing lengths that show their rank from the Bowie Knife-esque Catachan Fang to the Machete or Sword-like Devil's Claw made up of Metals from Catachan itself.
  • Made of Iron: In terms of the tabletop game, a Catachan Jungle Fighter wearing jack shit above the waist has the same toughness as a suit of Carapace Armor, which is designed to handle shots from Space Marine Bolters. This toughness comes from being raised on the Death World that is Catachan, and impresses the Space Marines accompanying Corvus and Vulkan into wondering why Catachans aren't recruited as Space Marines themselves.
  • Rated M for Manly: From their big knives to their big muscles to their fighting off demon hordes with bravery, they have a high "marketability". They're actually targeted by a Slaaneshi daemonette for their insanely well-built biceps (as in, she tears their arms off for their muscles). Gunnery Sergeant "Stonetooth" Harker one ups them all by being not only bigger and buffer than his fellows, but also by wielding a goddamned Heavy Bolter like it's a simple LMG
  • No Pronunciation Guide: Lampshaded, as Catachan is pronounced "Cat-a-chan" and "Cat-a-can" by different people.
  • Oh, Crap!: Upon finding a Catachan Barking Toad, as they explode and release an extremely toxic gas. The lesser ones are actually fairly easy to avoid death, but the greater ones...
  • Stripperiffic: A wholesome example, as they don't behave overly-sexual about their semi-nudity. It is exploited by their superiors in the Imperial Guard, who use them in propaganda.
  • Testosterone Poisoning: Every single guardsman's manliness is used for humor. It is a subject of a digression in the first BroTrip episode.
  • Vocal Dissonance: Sgt. Harker is an immense mountain of a muscle and ridiculously manly even by Catachan standards, as detailed above, but he has a distinctly high-pitched, somewhat soft-spoken voice.
  • Walking Shirtless Scene: Barring Sly Marbo and the guardswomen (the latter of whom wear bikini tops, displaying their six-pack abs).

    Attilan Rough Riders 

Attilan Rough Riders

The regiment of the Imperial Guard recruited from the arid world of Attila.

  • Automaton Horses: Literal in the case of Mogul Kamir’s cybernetic steed.
  • Born in the Saddle: Horse-riding nomads based on the Mongols. The planetary capital isn’t so much a “city” as a mass of tents.
  • The Pig-Pen: The only people Vulkan doesn’t hug at first sight, because they refuse to bathe.
  • Schizo Tech: Even moreso than the rest of the Imperium, they ride horses into battle with hovertanks.
  • Skull Cups: The king’s robes are covered in skulls with the tops cut off for drinking, and his concern on hearing of imminent Exterminatus is that his collection will be destroyed.
  • Speaks Fluent Animal: Their astropath is an ass, a literal one. Unfortunately the equine tongue is inadequate to conveying the concept of planetary annihilation.

     Jopall Indentured Squadrons 

Jopall Indentured Squadrons
Pesh (left) and Hox (right), with the regiment and an Asstart Spagle Man in the background.

The regiment of the Imperial Guard recruited from the miserable, hyper-capitalist agri-world of Jopall. After some words of inspiration from Corvus Corax, they stage a coup against their corrupt governor, led by Private Pesh and Private Hox, and reorganize themselves into a mercenary company to fund their new government.

  • Crapsaccharine World: As an Agri World, Jopall is kept in rather good shape - not just "by Imperial standards", actually good shape, it helps with growing crops - but it's run by an absolutely nightmarish Mega-Corp that is hubristic enough to enslave a Primarch and is patrolled by some of the most stupid excuses for Commissars in the Imperium. It says something that the Imperial Guard launching a coup and realizing they're going to have to turn to mercenary legions to keep the Ordo Hereticus off their backs long enough to convince the Imperium to let them back in is an unambiguously happy ending, because continuing as is was that untenable.
  • Deep South: Jopall's elite, in particular Lance Cashpants, speak in this accent, likely to help get across that they're effectively slaveowners.
  • Indentured Servitude: Naturally, everyone on the planet was born indebted and one of the ways to get out of it is to join the Imperial Guard.
  • Shoddy Knockoff Product: Asstart Spagle Mens, off brand Space Marines that are actually just Gland Warriors. Naturally, they have SPARTAN Helmets and Buzz Lightyear wings.
  • The Revolution Will Not Be Vilified: Downplayed. The Guard quickly realizes they're going to have to turn to some amoral means to fund their new government, but no one has a problem with them executing their leaders - they were just that bad.

    The Salamanders 

The Salamanders, Masters of Flames, Friendship and Adventure!

Voiced by: TheLemonGrenade (Tu'Shan), Kochiha Ichihara (Vulkan He'stan) and Alfabusa (Firedrake)

Vulkan's legion, now chapter, the Salamanders specialise in fire, friendship, fire, adventure and more fire.

  • Blade on a Stick: Forgefather He'stan's spear.
  • Catchphrase: VULKAN LIVES!!! Usually when he comes back to life after dying.
    • Tu'Shan has a booming "HA-HA-HA!" laugh whenever he's really joyous (which includes the above revivals).
  • Drop the Hammer: Tu'Shan and the Firedrakes each wield war hammers.
  • Flowery Elizabethan English: Tu'Shan speaks only this way - even after his ship crashes and he emerges from the wreckage, he has to exclaim a 'forsooth' before puzzledly asking 'What in yon fuck happened?'.
  • Good Is Dumb: One of the most heroic chapters still operational and achingly dim in many respects.
  • The Guards Must Be Crazy: Or at least, very very deaf. The Ultramarines are able to "sneak" past the Firedrakes, with their motif blasting away, and they cannot hear a thing. Kitten runs up to them and yells at the top of his lungs, and they cannot hear a thing (in that case, it might have been Kitten's sudden and inexplicable heavy accent).
  • Heavy Sleeper: He'stan is able to sleep through the Ultramarines bursting through the Fortress Monastery with their motif on full volume.
  • Like Father, Like Son: Tu'Shan seems to take a lot after Vulkan, judging by his friendly demeanor, his enthusiasm for adventure and the fact that he calls other Space Marines "cousin-friends", much like Vulkan calls other Primarch "brother-friends".
  • Nice Guy: Some of the few extant in the entire setting, being dedicated to saving the lives of all Imperial citizens. They've even fought with other Loyal Space Marine Chapters for treating the citizens of the Imperium as meat-shields and/or acceptable losses.
    • This only goes double with their relationship with their Primarch, Vulkan. They're absoulutely overjoyed when he returns, horrified when he apparently dies, and overjoyed again when he pops back up. According to Word of God, Vulkan spent some time giving each and every member of his chapter a hug when he returned.
  • No Indoor Voice: Some of the guards have a tendency to be rather loud when speaking.
  • Only Sane Man: He'Stan has his moments, generally having more awareness of what's going on than his fellow Salamanders (and sometimes even more than everyone else in the room, including Primarchs). Examples include catching on to the Emperor's apparent taste for aesthetics over effectiveness, the "marketability" (for admitted lack of a better word on his end) of the Catachans, and the following interjection when everyone else is considering celebrating the return of the two Primarchs:
    He'Stan: Pardon my petulance, but need I remind you that TERRA IS IN JEOPARDY!?
  • Pyromaniac: The Emperor, upon hearing of how pyrocentric their rituals are, wonders if he did not place their test tube too close to a candle.
  • Screams Like a Little Girl: He'stan, upon seeing the apparently dead body of Vulkan, makes a girly squeal.
  • Ultimate Blacksmith: Kitten is quick to point out the abundance of master-crafted weaponry that the Chapter has made.



Voiced by: Drumblebee
A menial naval worker with big dreams. Specifically, killing a Primarch.
  • Affably Evil: Unfailingly polite to everyone he meets, and is sincerely sorry to extort the Salamanders. The Jopallians find it hard to believe that someone so nice could be evil.
  • Badass Normal: A somewhat downplayed example, as physically he is probably the weakest character in the series except for Boy, but his wit makes up for that. He has friends in high places and is apparently sneaky enough to elude even the Raven Guard.
  • Big Bad: Shaping up to be this to the Bro Trip spinoff.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: While he goes with it anyways, he feels dirty for having Cashpants placing them in so much debt and red tape that Vulkan would die before he could be saved from the life-eater virus. He even apologizes to them, as he original plan should have settled things.
  • For the Evulz: The apparent reason he wants to kill a Primarch. He's not even doing this in the service of Chaos, he just personalty wants to do so to Corvus Corax's dismay.
  • Inexplicably Awesome: A perpetually-cheery Menial who, in order, somehow gathers enough high-ranking 'friends' under his banner to OK an Exterminatus at his will, casually walks onto the bridge of a Light Cruiser, admits his plans to crash it with all hands aboard to the captain, somehow proceeds to do so, somehow survives the crash, has his 'friends' launch aforementioned Exterminatus knowing full well he'll be killed too, and then somehow escape any punishment under the nose of four Space Marines and Corvus Corax when his plans are foiled. He then somehow beats them to Jopall and ingratiates himself with the governor with nothing more than a sandwich and a few nice words, to the point he lands himself on the management board, who tangle Corvus, He'stan and Tu'shan with so much red tape they can't help a dying Vulkan. Why does he do this? He dreams of killing a Primarch, a dream that he actually accomplishes THRICE: Vulkan died in the crash, then sacrifices himself to stop the Exterminatus, then succumbs to the Life-Eater Virus of the missile. Seriously, Sly Marbo at least has military training: who in the Warp is this 'Clancy' guy?!
  • Shadow Archetype: He's this to Vulkan. They're both friendly and garner friends through their kindness, but while Vulkan is a Loyalist Primarch who serves for the Emperor, Clancy is a menial human only cares about his own desires, which is called out on by Vulkan.
  • Villainous Underdog: He's a supposedly ordinarily human of menial rank up agains Primarchs, who are demigods that can make armies of daemons flee in terror at their mere presence, and their Badass Army of Space Marines and the most renowned Badass Normal forces in the Imperium. Yet his politeness has allowed him to get away with killing Vulkan three times, one of which might have actually have been permanent had it not been for Vulkan's connection to the Ork Gestalt Consciousness.

Assorted Space Marines

    The Ultramarines 

The Ultramarines, Honorable Battlebrothers, The Emperor's Finest, THE GREATEST OF THEM ALL!
Even their Chapter Master can't stand them.

Voiced by: Karl The Deranged (Marneus Augustus Calgar), Ironbeard (Uriel Ventris), Kochiha Ichihara (Cato Sicarius)

The Imperium's greatest Space Marines, capable of succeeding in any mission, no matter how dangerous, suicidal, and outright sabotaged by their own side it is.

  • Achilles in His Tent: Calgar spends the first two seasons of the show moping on Ultramar about what his Space Marines have become. This in turn allows Cato Sicarius to go over his head to accept assignments from Terra without having to run them by him first, which eventually sickens Maneius enough that he decides to lead the charge in the third season's newest mission for his chapter.
  • Atomic F-Bomb: Marneius Calgar let one off when being told that the Ultramarines had collected all of the Salamanders' artifacts.
  • Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: Calgar and Ventris end up getting on a tangent where they talk about random things for literally months on end because Ventris randomly brought up his armor's green trim and the two got sidetracked.
  • Benevolent Boss: Grouchy attitude aside, Calgar is implied to be this given his outrage over Sicarious risking the lives of his men a suicide mission, and going berserk when Sicarious states he doesn't care what happens as long he helps his glory and reputation.
  • Berserk Button:
    • When Cato Sicarius suggests that any Ultramarine casualties are meaningless if it means furthering his reputation and glory, Calgar snaps and threatens to shove his power fist up Sicarius' ass. When Sicarius high-tails it out of the room he grumbles in frustration that one of these days that he needs to stop threatening to do so and ACTUALLY do it. Come episode 21, he really does punch Sicarius in the face when the latter is ranting how he was able to defeat a C'tan.
    • Uriel Ventris is decidedly miffed about his My Greatest Failure moment (releasing the C'tan Nightbringer) being inexplicably and casually rendered insignificant (the Nightbringer was actually just a shard. An itsy bitsy little Shard).
    • Cato Sicarius also has one in the form of being interrupted during his narcissistic squealing.
      *In a lower, indignant, snarled voice* "HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT THE FEEDBACK SESSION OF I, CATO SICARIUS!?"
  • Beyond the Impossible: The Emperor deliberately gives them Impossible Tasks and yet they keep succeeding.
    • How about riding into galaxy's biggest daemon hotspot with your anti-daemon fields off, in a single ship, to find and capture (alive) the second most powerful psyker in existence and come back alive? More, even, with minimal casualties? Why not?
    • Not enough? Just go on to casually find all of the remaining Artifacts of Vulkan in under a year and deliver them directly to Nocturne. The Salamanders have been searching for the better part of 10,000 years.
    • This is discussed in episode 21 by Calgar and Ventris, with the latter pointing out that the changes in history all have this theme, caused by a certain force, which Calgar tries to dismiss defensively.
  • Bunny-Ears Lawyer: They're annoying. They're invincible to the point some feel bored. They're as invoked Mary Sue as it goes. But by the Emperor are they effective.
  • Comically Invincible Hero: There is appears to be nothing the Ultramarines can't do, no matter how laughably impossible their success is.
  • Cool Mask: Their armour, based on Heresy-era Invictarii, has a really cool wing design on its mask.
  • Curb-Stomp Battle: The Ultramarines were subjected to one at the battle of Macragge, Calgar in particular at the hands of the Swarmlord. It's this event that led Calgar to make some sort of deal that has slowly made their chapter more and more over the top and powerful.
    • The Ultramarines and Calgar more than make up for it at Victoria Primus against the Tyranids, paying them back with a Curb Stomp of their own. The fight against the second Swarmlord and Calgar is amazingly one-sided this time.
  • Dark Secret: Ventris has begun to suspect that some higher power influences events to always make the Ultramarines succeed against all odds and retconning their defeats to lessen or ignore them. It seems Calgar himself knows more about this than he is willing to say... The second part of BEHEMOTH makes it clear that whatever happened took place shortly after Calgar's disastrous confrontation with the Swarmlord in Macragge.
  • Demoted to Extra: By order of Calgar, Illiyan is not to receive any screentime at all and must be as irrelevant as possible.
  • Fate Worse than Death: Whether it is out of fear of their lethality and/or of how annoying they can be, both the forces of the Imperium and those of Chaos consider being banished to Ultramar as one of these as it is the penalty of high-stakes "Ultragames."
  • Flanderization: Their portrayal here is based on 5th Edition Space Marines 'dex which is often accused of making them Sue-ish, overblowing the Chapter's previous vanilla portrayal and being just flat-out unrealistic. Here, they truly are as invincible, goody-two-shoes and Codex-Astartes-worshipping as the 5th-Ed's deriders would have you believe... and it's driving their Chapter Master crazy.
    • This also seems to have happened in-universe, with the Ultramarines shown in BEHEMOTH being as diverse, flawed, and eccentric as any other Chapter/group shown in the series with a wide range of different characters shown and no sign of the absurdly perfect and unstoppable Mary Sues they would become. After being slaughtered by the Tyranids almost all these unique characters would disappear save Calgar and Ventris, replaced by faceless and identical Parody Sue Ultramarines and Cato Sicarius.
  • Glory Hound: Sicarius believes that it doesn't matter how many are sacrificed if it advances his personal glory. Calgar almost punches his head off for this.
  • Impossible Task: The feats they accomplished were deliberately designed by The Emperor with two goals in mind:
    • 1: to be impossible so that they would fail for once and stop acting insufferably smug.
    • 2: To abuse the hell out of their Plot Armor in the event that they actually succeed.
  • In-Universe Nickname:
    • They repeatedly get called "Smurfs" by the Emperor, despite no-one getting the reference.
    • Calgar and Ventris refer to Cato Sicarius as Cunto Shitarius when it's just the two of them.
  • Incoming Ham: I, Cato Sicarius of the GLORIOUS and Famed 2nd Company shall bring the ham wherever it is needed!
    • He even pulls off an outgoing ham after dropping the artifacts of Vulcan.
  • Invincible Hero: Their Chapter Master certainly thinks so, to the extent that he gets a depression from this.
    Marneus Calgar: *Sobbing* Holy Emperor...This is shameful...Nothing is satisfying anymore...
  • Jerkass: Cato Sicarius. Unlike Calgar whose attitude comes how boring everything is, Sicarius is an egotistical Glory Hound who will throw any number of his own men under the bus if it will benefit him.
  • Large Ham: They have a truly grandiose way of speaking WITH COURARGE AND HONOR!
  • Leitmotif: The Ultramarines Chant. Their constant chanting is partly why the Emperor hates them so much.
  • Lightning Bruiser: As a parody of Dawn of War III's incident with Terminator Armor, Calgar is an utterly silly version of these, what with punches that can one-shot titans and being able to somersault so damn far due to the Terminator armor he doesn't need jump packs to be fast.
  • Married to the Job: Their reward for capturing Magnus is some purity seals and materials to prepare for their next mission. They're more than happy about it.
  • No Challenge Equals No Satisfaction: Calgar certainly seems to think so. Whatever Deal with the Devil he struck made his chapter borderline unstoppable and successful at everything they do, but you can only effortlessly succeed so many times until all those victories start to ring hollow and meaningless. It's part of the reason Calgar's so goddamn exhausted all the time.
  • Odd Friendship: Calgar eventually finds a mood kindred in the form of Ciaphas Cain, who has a similar record of bullshitting his way to victory and thus, feeling like a piece of shit too.
  • Only Sane Man: Calgar and Ventris seem to fulfill this role. Ventris seems well-adjusted to Chapter's insanity, but Calgar seems to have been spiraling into a deep depression for awhile.
  • Parody Sue: The Emperor realizes that they win all the time and succeed at anything, regardless of how against sanity and common sense victory would be. He admits he only puts up with this ridiculousness because they're useful.
  • Ripple Effect-Proof Memory: Ventris seems to be the only one besides Calgar that notices that their chapter history appears to be changing. Granted, he's the only one besides Calgar left who has a unique identity and isn't Cato Sicarius
  • Sarcasm-Blind: When Calgar is furiously mocking their perfection and belief in Codex Astartes, the Ultramarine he's talking to takes it at face value. They also fail to note malicious undertones to their order to switch their Gellar field off.
  • Send in the Clones: Apart from Calgar, Sicarius, Ventris and a lone Devastator, they all look and act the same - at first resembling the First Company, and, later,the Honour Guard.
    • Averted in the BEHEMOTH prequel where each Ultramarine shown is a unique model/art depiction with his own personality before the eponymous Tyranid invasion. After the near extermination of the chapter and still unknown Deal with the Devil Calgar made to save it, nearly all these unique marines are gone and replaced by the aforementioned clones.
      • While there were still some using the Honour Guard model before and during the invasion, they stilled showed a different, more intelligent personality than the later clones, including pointing out when their chapter master was doing something stupid.
  • Sigil Spam: In BEHEMOTH their dropships are shown flying in an inverted omega formation.
  • There Was a Door:
    • Cato Sicarius is seemingly addicted to bursting through walls, ceilings, and seemingly floors like a power-armored Kool-Aid Man, having yet to enter any room in any other fashion.
    • At one point, an Ultramarine Land Raider is driven through a wall. By Cato Sicarius.
  • Third-Person Person: Cato Sicarius obsessively refers to himself when speaking.
  • Throw the Book at Them: Marneus once threw a copy of the Codex at an Eldar so hard its spine was bent into a semicircle.
  • Verbal Tic: The normal Ultramarines keeps referring to each other as "Honorable Battlebrother". In the closed captions all of their actions are always prefixed with "Ultra", such as Ultra-Crying, Ultra-Fuckin'-Crying, Ultra-sigh, Ultra-Laughing, Ultra-Groaning etc.
  • Vocal Dissonance: Cato Sicarius has a distinctly high voice that nobody else has and completely clashes with his prestigious Captain armor.
  • What the Hell, Hero?: Calgar hits Sicarius with one when he brags about his mission capturing Magnus. Calgar puts aside that the mission was a success and focuses on the fact that Sicarius took a number of his own men on a suicide mission, along with obeying an order to shut off the fields to keep deamons out of their ships without question.
  • With Catlike Tread: Drop off Vulkan's Mac Guffins by driving a land raider through the wall of the Salamanders' fortress-monestary while loudly chanting. Nobody notices this. The Salamander sentries even comment that it's a "quiet day", bare seconds afterwards.

    The Dark Angels 

The Dark Angels, The most Loyal and Honest Chapter with no Heretical Secrets to hide at all!
The most loyal servants the Imperium could hope for!From left to right 

Voiced by: Gemineye (Azrael), Alfabusa (Azmodai and Snurko), Fusion (Belial)

A chapter led by Azrael, Asmodai, and Belial, a trio of paranoid wrecks obsessed with finding Cypher and the rest of The Fallen while trying to keep it all a secret from the rest of the Imperium.

  • Ax-Crazy: Azrael and Asmodai. Azrael is so wracked with paranoia that he orders two Dark Angels executed for hearing information that they were allowed to know. As for Asmodai...
    Belial: You know he hears "make them repent." as "murder them violently."
    Azrael: Yes, Asmodai is a fucking asshood who can't make anyone repent...
    Asmodai: DID SOMEONE SAY "Murder anyone violently?!?"
  • Badass Preacher: Asmodai, whose main method of making people repent is to bash them over the head with his giant crozius.
  • Bad Boss: If someone learns about the Fallen, Azreal will have them killed. Even if they are his own men.
  • Drama Queen: It doesn't take much to turn Belial into a crying wreck. Even making a snarky comment at him will cause him to tear up. And yet he's the Only Sane Man.
  • Hair-Trigger Temper: As Snurko found out the hard way, Azrael truly has "The Emperor's Temper".
  • Hanging Judge: It's pretty clear from a stream announcement that he Asmodai cares less about making people repent and more concerned with bashing heads in.
  • Hypocritical Humor: Azrael calls the Adeptus Mechanics out for having hidden agendas and secret circles and ominous hoods...
  • Ignored Epiphany: Upon storming the Fabricator-General's temple, the Dark Angels are treated with him threatening to revoke their techmarine rights. Azrael has a moment of clarity and self-realization when he realizes that "interrogating" the Fabricator-General has the prospect of not only ruining relations with the Mechanicus but making the Dark Angels into pariahs within the Imperium. He goes into a dramatic monologue about how they've been consumed by paranoia and a maniacal drive to expunge their own perceived sins, and more importantly the toll it has taken. He decides to return to the Rock for contemplation and thanks the Fabricator-General for the insight and for how liberating it felt to actually speak about their problems. Then Azrael sees the Fabricator-General holding a book of their secrets, and has Asmodai murder him.
  • Insane Troll Logic: Anything is, in their eyes, a sign of someone working for The Fallen. Even the Adeptus Mechanicus simply reaching a planet before they do is enough for them to jump to such extreme conclusions.
  • Modern Major General: Technically, Asmodai's job as Interrogator-Chaplain is to make the traitorous angels repent during interrogations. And while he's an extremely experienced combatant and a decent enough commander, enough to be one of the Chapter's heads, he sucks at his actual job because his interrogations are so intense no one ever survives them long enough to actually repent, and that's if they even make it alive to the torture chamber to begin with. This is also true to the lore as well. While not as Ax-Crazy in the actual series, there's a few other Chaplains who have a higher success rate in their interrogations than Asmodai.
  • Nervous Wreck: Azrael. The man sounds like he's constantly on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
  • Only Sane Man: For a given value of sane given it's the Dark Angels, but Belial is the least likely of the three leaders to jump straight to murder and actively tries to find peaceful ways to settle disputes. He's the only reason the meeting between the Mechanicus and the Chapter doesn't devolve into outright bloodshed.
  • The Paranoiac: They are all constantly on the verge of lunacy due to their paranoia, but Azrael is moreso than anyone in the entire chapter, to the point he had two Dark Angels murdered for hearing about the Fallen despite the fact they had just been inducted into the Inner Circle and thus were ready to know about them.
  • Punctuated Pounding: Azrael to his Watcher In The Dark after it blabs some deep secrets in front of two uninitiated Dark Angelsnote 
    Azrael: (while stomping his Watcher into mulch) OF! ALL! THE! WATCHERS! IN! THE! ROCK! WHY! DO! I! GET! ONE! THAT! TALKS!?!
  • Right Under Their Noses: Azrael, Belial and Asmodai somehow do not recognize Cypher when he is standing right next to them. It's impossible to tell if they're confusing him for a loyalist Dark Angel or not, but knowing this series...
  • Small, Annoying Creature: Snurko, Azrael's Watcher in The Dark, which can only be described as something ripped out of an 80s cartoon. Made even worse by the fact that it is the only Watcher that actually talks.


Helbrecht, High Marshal of the Black Templars

Voiced by: Bruva Alfabusa

Effectively the Chapter Master of the Black Templars, and the man in command of perhaps the greatest army of Space Marines out there. He gets dragged into a podcast with the Emperor as a way to give him, and thus his entire chapter, some much-needed anger therapy.

  • Apple of Discord: Played with. During the podcast on the Black Templars, his presence seems to unwittingly stir up the buried hatred in the entire cabal present, causing the Emperor, Rogal Dorn and the Fabulous Custodes to slowly build-up into a full-fledged screaming fury with each other. Ironically, this display actually horrifies him so much that it convinces him of the wisdom of what the Emperor was saying earlier that the Black Templars have allowed themselves to be controlled by their hatred, and he's the one who snaps them back to their senses.
  • Ax-Crazy: He's the Chapter Master of the Black Templars, who are essentially the canon equivalent of Angry Marines. What else do you expect?
  • Call a Rabbit a "Smeerp": Terminology issues are one of the biggest peeves the Emperor has with him and his legion. He tries to get pissed off about it, calling the terminology holy, but the Emperor shuts him down, telling him he will take the criticism for confusing the hell out of everyone. As to the issues themselves, most of them tend to be minor but bothersome (High Marshal vs. Chaptermaster). It even extends outside his legion; he calls his own Heroic BSoD "crusading inwardly".
  • Cloudcuckoolander: Thinks that a couch, which is meant to be comfortable, should be made of stone because stone is a harder material. His solution to Boy getting a shard in his eye to telling Boy to hate the shard, believing that hating an object will cause the wound to go away.
  • Fantastic Racism: Xenos and heretics aside, he seems to find the mere existence of mutants to be an affront to humanity in itself, an insulting deviation from the Emperor's perfect form that ought to be lethally corrected as soon as able. Then again, his thresholds for what qualifies or not as a mutant are dangerously broad, and spare no one; when the Emperor pointed out that, technically, being bald is a deviation from his form and thus a mutant by his standards, he almost scalped himself in pure self-hatred right then and there before the Emperor stopped him from that. He also has a mental breakdown when a Xeno (a necron, to be specific) approves of what he's doing, because by continuing to purge he'd be agreeing with a filthy xeno, but stopping his crusades would be equally as heretical.
  • Hypocrite:
    • The Custodes and the Emperor pointed Hellbrecht on the issues of Psykers and Navigators, both of whom are defined as "mutants" yet necessary for space travel that Black Templars need as a fleet-based chapter. Helbrecht justified this contradiction by stating that Psykers and Navigators are indeed employed, but they will be slated to be killed later after all mutants are exterminated in the galaxy.
      Helbrecht: We figured we would kill them last...
    • After the Emperor says he's going to transfer Librarians and other battle-psykers into the Black Templars, Helbrecht has a fit about how rare and unconventional it is for Space Marines to use normal humans, particularly psykers. The Emperor points out that Black Templars flaunt their non-compliance with the Codex, so they ought to be fine with it.
  • Inelegant Blubbering: The tantrums he throws when he thinks he's the one being heretical are comparable to an eight year old's own, complete with high-pitched screaming.
  • Large Ham: Has No Indoor Voice and is prone to breaking into grandiose speeches.
  • Literal-Minded: Though not as extreme a case as the Templars' progenitor, Helbrecht nonetheless has... issues with interpreting idioms too literally. When the Emperor tells him to "get [the Black Templar's] shit together" he initially assumes he means to collect their excrement in mounds as ammunition. That and when the Emperor talks about himself shitting on the Ultramarines, he thinks it was entirely literal.
  • No Indoor Voice: The man won't lower his voice even if the Emperor himself ordered him to, and screams like a psychopath throughout the entire podcast.
    I am not shouting! I am but exercising the MIGHT of my vocal chords, Emperor!
  • Noble Demon: The Emperor acknowledges that for all of their many flaws, the Black Templars (and Helbrecht by extension) are living proof that Legions can exist and still serve the interests of the Imperium without falling to seed like Horus'.
  • Noodle Incident: Apparently, the only reason the Black Templars are fleet-based is because you can't go crusading with a planet. They have tried.
  • Perpetual Frowner: While the Limited Animation of the show (especially for the podcast) prevents one from seeing it, according to the Emperor his scowl is so intense and fixed it would have to be surgically removed for him to make any other sort of expression.
  • The Power of Hate: He values it, and drives his legion forwards with it; he plans on tempering it and controlling it before unleashing it on the foes of mankind once the podcast is done, rather than simply let it rule him like before.
  • Psychopathic Manchild: His tendency to blurt out baby-like cries, along with his childish voice, didn't help with his aggressive nature.
  • Reasonable Authority Figure: He turns out to be this once the Emperor steers him in the right direction. While he doesn't take well some of the Emperor's decrees and affirmations, he recognizes that the Emperor outranks him and thus should be obeyed and swears to make everything he can to make sure his men will uphold the Emperor's will concerning the Black Templars.
  • Recognition Failure: He completely fails to recognize Rogal Dorn, just assuming him to be an Imperial Fist Centurion through the entire podcast. Then again, Rogal was wearing his helmet the entire time precisely because he didn't want to be recognized, and Helbrecht seemed to catch on in the last moments of the podcast, but doesn't act on it, claiming that everything will be revealed in due time.
  • Sensory Abuse: In-universe, everyone hates his voice to the point of physical pain due to volume and enough raspiness to flay a man to the bone. He even shatters his own mug of tea when screaming.
  • Verbal Tic: When berated, interrupted or generally contradicted, he usually belts out an indignant, Waluigi-esque "WAAH!".
  • Vocal Dissonance: The man is a giant, utterly bald Space Marine at the head of the only actual Legion in the Imperium and with a heavy scowl that Judge Dredd would approve of, but his voice... note 
    Emperor: First of all, you need to devour a fruit basket's worth of throat lozenges, 'cause you just straight up sound like a goblin.
  • Would Hurt a Child: Almost squashes Boy at one point, due to a perceived insult; Rogal has to step in before anything happens.
  • Your Approval Fills Me with Shame: Receiving a letter from a Necron Lord who is pleased with his crusades against another Necron Lord utterly confuses him and fills him with horrified shame turning into a panic attack, as that means he's doing something to ''help'' a xeno and that makes him a heretic. It gets so bad the Emperor and Dorn themselves have to calm him down.


Reclusiarch Merek Grimaldus

Voiced by: Sadia

Senior Chaplain of the Black Templars.

  • Knight Templar: Even beyond the standards of his chapter; he tries to ban Sanguinala.
  • No, You: His apparent go-to response when someone tries to argue against him.
    Random Black Templar: It's heretical to-
    Grimaldus: YOU'RE heretical!
  • Psychopathic Manchild: When told he could not ban Sanguinala, he proceeded to throw a loyal tantrum in his room.




Voiced by: Randolph Carter
A Skitarii Ranger from the Forge World of Lemuria that acts as the party's tech expert. He is armed with a power sword, a radium pistol, and a… unique attitude.
  • And This Is for...: He often shouts out the name of his forge world when engaging in battle.
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Oh yes, even by the standards of a TTS character; he goes near-insane from being in an open field with no metal, threatens multiple people with death for not having any higher technology on their world, and is currently trying to induct a child into the Cult Mechanicus.
  • Berserk Button: Don't insult his forge world. Lorn and Reeb barely managed to keep him from attacking an Imperial Tech Priest when she said Forgeworld Lumeria creates sub-standard tech.
    • Don't remind him he's not actually a Tech-Priest yet. He gets unusually weepy about it.
  • Cyborg: As befits a Skitarius of the Adeptus Mechanicus.
  • Damager, Healer, Tank: Fits as both damage and tank; he has the single highest defense and resilience in the party, as befits his cybernetic nature, so he can take a lot more punishment than the rest of the party, and he was able to effectively one-shot the Divine Lord of War with a good crit on his power sword.
  • Dramatic Gun Cock: Does one when he ends up getting his hands on a Plasma Rifle. Immediately parodied, as he starts doing it for simple sentences, which gives everyone else pause as it's effectively charging a weapon well-known for it's explosive consequences for overcharging.
  • The Faceless: Thus far the only hints of his appearance we have seen are his big glowing eyeports. The rest of his face is shrouded in the shadows of his hood, but given that he's a Skitarius there might not be much of a face under there anyway.
  • Fighter, Mage, Thief: Fits as the Fighter, given his proficiency with his Power Sword and his high defense and resilience.
  • Non-Promotion: Before he left Lemuria, he was given the title of honorary Explorator for the Forge World, under the impression that if he brought anything useful back from the crusade, the actual rank would stick. He interpreted it as an actual promotion, and is often furious with anyone who points out the obvious fact that he isn't officially one.
  • Patriotic Fervor: Is fiercely loyal to Forge World Lemuria.
  • Roaring Rampage of Revenge: Goes on one against the Divine Lords when he finds out that they murdered the Tech-Priest who accompanied them to keep her from squealing to the Imperium about their plot.
    Reeb Van Horne 

Reeb Van Horne

Voiced by: Earndril
An Inquisitorial Acolyte who has a fixation on medicine and Xenos biology. He joined the crusade to study Xenos, which he takes to with gusto whenever he gets the opportunity, and also serves as a medical officer for the party.
  • Brilliant, but Lazy: Has a tendency for this, since his primary interests are xenobiology and medicine, and mostly ignores everything else.
  • Combat Medic: Due to his surgical skills, he's ended up the medical officer for the party.
  • Damager, Healer, Tank: As the only member of the crew with any sort of medical knowledge he fits as the healer, although so far he's only had to heal himself during combat.
  • The Lancer: Far more composed than anybody else on the ship, to the point of almost seemingly constantly distracted.
  • Leaning on the Fourth Wall: Has an old copy of White Dwarf in his tools that he uses to reference obscure variations on humanity.
  • Nightmare Fetishist: He is absolutely fascinated by Xenos biology no matter the source, whether it be Orks or mole-monsters, an attitude that would be deemed borderline heretical in the Inquisition.
  • Squishy Wizard: Less so than Lorn since he actually has a decent resilience score, but so far he's nearly been pushed to zero wounds twice and generally does better on the back lines.
  • State Sec: Training to be this since he is only an Inquisitorial Acolyte. He doesn't have his Inquisitor's Rosette yet but is working towards it.


Voiced by: ZoranTheBear
A sanctioned psyker hailing from Fenris, Lorn possesses a degree of psychic mastery that makes him an invaluable member of the team. Now if only the could work on his attitude…
  • Achievements in Ignorance: He is a psyker from Fenris but has no idea what a Primarch is.
    • Both a case of Rule of Funny (Because Lorn is a crazy old man) and Shown Their Work.Explanation 
    • Has another one with the downtime that he and π-Braine share: π-Braine has gone on a rampage slaughtering innocent civilians in the under decks of the Debt Collector, whereas Lorn has taken it upon himself to attempt to solve these mysterious deaths, completely unaware that his companion is the culprit. Zoran and Randolph repeatedly joke that they keep passing each other in the halls.
  • Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: Lorn is bored to tears in practically any non-mission or non-combat situation, to the point that they have given him a "Vox Boy" to play with while everybody else does their thing.
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander: He once tried to channel the powers of the Immaterium through a Power Sword to turn Braine into a radio antenna. Yeah, the powers of the Warp and his age might've cooked his noggin a bit.
  • Cool Old Guy: When he isn't being a Grumpy Old Man, he's actually quite affable and has taken something of a shine to Tater Tot that seems focused on making the Ratling child an effective citizen of the Imperium rather than brainwashing him like Braine is trying to do.
  • Crippling Overspecialization: Lorn is a psyker whose entire ability list is almost all damaging skills, with very little stated ability or interest in more practical psyker skills. Given where he's from, however, it makes sense that he'd have learned how to use his powers for defense only.
  • Fighter, Mage, Thief: Solidly the mage, being the only psyker in the group and using the powers of the warp to turn his opponents into meatballs and fly around.
  • Grumpy Old Man: Despite what was stated under Cool Old Guy, when Lorn first met Tater Tot he nearly strangled the child because of how stupid the naming conventions of his home world arespoiler . Generally, it's pretty easy to get his dander up through sheer idiocy.
  • Squishy Wizard: He both has the lowest defense and resilience in the party as well as tying with Zedek for least amount of wounds, so needless to say he is best kept in the back.
  • Wizard Classic: With his robes, massive beard, age, and his ornate staff and amulet he has the look nearly to a T. All he really needs is the pointy hat to complete it.
    Captain Zedek 

Captain Zedek D. F. Mascadolce

Voiced by: HulkyKrow
The rogue trader who commands the Debt Collector, and in general is a charismatic and effective leader when he isn't busy reigning in his subordinates more eccentric behaviors.
  • The Alcoholic: The hardest-drinking member of the group, often responding to any high-stress situation with a swig from his flask. It is implied his...interesting choice of attire for the group for a meeting with nobles was influenced by copius amounts of liquor.
  • The Face: Is the captain of the ship and arguably the most responsible one among the party, though that's barely saying much.
  • I Need a Freaking Drink: His reaction to pretty much anything stressful or outlandish. Upon seeing π-Braine walking onto the bridge of his ship inexplicably covered in blood, he takes out a flask and completely drains the contents. After the group later fixes an issue in the Debt Collector's sewage tank which involved a battle with massive corrupted grubs and mites and a near-encounter with an Excremental, he orders a much-needed shower servitor to his quarters...followed by an alcohol servitor.
  • Irony: Rogue Traders tend to be the most eccentric, most friendly and accepting to Xenos, and most well-equipped people in the Imperium. He's the sanest and most normal member of the team. The only hint at his Rogue Trader status is his instant acceptance and kindness to the Ratlings and other strange characters he meets.
  • The Slacker: Has apparently put off doing any number of fixes for The Debt Collector for so long that the issues the ship faces are currently in the mid-hundreds.
  • Straight Man: Has to look after the party due to their rambunctious nature, whether it be Braine's eccentricity or Lorn's rage.
    Tater Tot 

Tater Tot

A Ratling child found by the crew on a Feral world. π-Braine swears to teach him everything he knows.
  • Adorably Precocious Child: Tater Tot is a cute kid, in spite of the fact that Ratlings in the TTS-Universe being slovenly, borderline semi-sentient hunger machines.
  • Troubling Unchildlike Behavior: Starts exhibiting some when "tutored" by π-Braine and Lorn, and for surviving an attack of the local fauna known as "Geraldines".


    Sly Marbo 

Sly Marbo, The One-Man Army of Catachan

A man renowned for his might in combat and his famous warcry, Sly Marbo travels from planet to planet by foot to kick heretical and xeno ass wherever he is needed the most.

  • Batman Can Breathe in Space: And freaking fly through it as well!
  • Battle Cry: His only form of communication is shouting.
  • Big Damn Heroes: A few times, such as when he fended off a Dark Eldar looting session and saving Corvus from a extremely toxic Barking Toad.
  • Blood Knight: He accepts an invitation to the Slaaneshmas Special, apparently for the opportunity to go 1 v. 3 against the Chaos Champions (sans Kharn).
  • Breaking the Fourth Wall: After three Dark Eldar melee combatants attack him only to bounce off, it looks like he beats the crap out of them using his own subtitles.
  • Comically Invincible Hero: By all accounts there's nothing in 40k that can stop him, such that he travels through space unshielded to whatever world needs him. The only opponents to even survive an encounter with him are Lucius, Ahriman, and Typhus together. This is all played for laughs.
  • Face–Heel Turn: In the non-canonical April Fool's Day video, he's the last of Fucking Horus's allies that show up to overthrow the recently-resurrected Emperor.
  • Good Angel, Bad Angel: He has these, but they don't give any advice other than AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Good Old Fisticuffs: Even though he carries a gun and a knife, he ignores them in favor of his feet and fists.
  • Humble Hero: Although it's hard to determine a man's characterization when all he says is AAAAAAAAAAAAA, the first thing he does after rescuing Corvus Corax from a Greater Catachan Barking Toad is to bow to the Primarch.
  • Make Me Wanna Shout: The man's shout is so Mighty that it can rip apart metal.
  • Memetic Badass: His characterization is largely based on a running joke in the fandom that casts him in the same light as Chuck Norris. As such, anything he does can be written off as him simply being Sly Fucking Marbo. Humorously, he carries this reputation among the Jungle Fighters In-Universe as well.
  • Nice Guy: Strangely, both Ahriman and Lucius think he's a pretty great guy, despite him handing them and Typhus a Curb-Stomp Battle when he went on the Slaaneshmas broadcast after receiving an invitation. Unless, of course, the two of them are talking about Kharn (who is the memetic nice guy of the Warhammer 40K universe) instead.
  • No Indoor Voice: His sole method of communication is an incoherent scream.
  • Not Quite Flight: He can simulate flying via his aerodynamic musculature and knowledge of jungle tree buoyancy... on Catachan. Everywhere else he's soaring around like it's nothing, even in space!
  • One-Man Army: The man liberated an entire planet from the Dark Eldar all by himself.
  • Parody Sue: Even more so than The Ultramarines themselves as he is just a nondescript soldier who bulldozes everything for laughs.
  • Screaming Warrior: Constantly and without pause (most of the time).

    Ephrael Stern 

Ephrael Stern, the Thrice-Born, the Daemonifuge, Battle Sister of the Order of Our Martyred Lady

Voiced by: Nostalgia
Sister Superior of the Seraphim Squad, Ephrael was one of the Battle Sisters not sent into the Eye of Terror, in her case due to her being in the Black Library.
  • Amazonian Beauty: Fairly attractive, but even by the standards of the Sisters of Battle, she's quite terrifying.
  • Badass Cape: Wears one big enough to cover her Shoulders of Doom, as is appropriate for a Sister Superior.
  • BFS: Is seen clasping a two-handed sword in her gauntlets.
  • Big Eater: At least by Eldar standards. She complains that the food she's given by the Eldar isn't sufficient for someone like her, a human at PEAK PERFORMANCE.
  • Did You Just Flip Off Cthulhu?: Is able to make demands to Ceogorath without any consequences or hint of fear. Bear in mind that Ceogorath just put the fear of god into the Custodes.
  • Facial Markings: Has a cross-shaped mark on her left cheek.
  • Muscles Are Meaningful: At least she seems to think so. She's genuinely pleased to see the two Custodians appear in the Black Library, as she mistakes them for Eldar "on the path of the swole."
  • Mystical White Hair: Is white-haired and there is clearly something to her that she can stand up to Ceogorath.
  • Perpetual Frowner: Even accounting for the limits of the series, the Thrice-Born would be hard-pressed to do anything but scowl.
  • The Stoic: Never raises her voice beyond a stern growl.
  • Tattoo as Character Type: The cross-shaped mark is an Organizational Emblem which marks her as one of the Adepta Sororitas.


Billy, unfortunate Psyker Mutant

Voiced by: Alfabusa

A young boy who always wear a box on his head and constantly finds himself in terrifying situations. Knows Boy, one of the Highlords, and is a mutant.

  • Cosmic Plaything: So far he's been run over by Magnus on a bike, lost all his friends to said bike incident, been stalked by Lucius, been kidnapped by Dark Eldar, lost his friends again to the Dark Eldar, and been bashed in the face with a baseball bat by an Astartes. He survived these experiences, but they no doubt take its toll on the boy's psyche.
  • Epileptic Trees: Remilez theorizes that he is Kaldor Draigo, who in turn is time displaced.
  • Mutant: Boy offhandedly mentions that he's a mutant. What kind is yet to be stated, but it could explain why he's always wearing a box.
    • Alternatively, it could simply be that as a psyker, he is already considered a mutant.
  • Psychic Powers: Billy is a latent psyker, which Lucius takes advantage of to prank call him.

    Ciaphas Cain 


One of the most legendary commissars of all of the Imperium of Man, who has the Undying Loyalty of his troops. Also like in 40K canon, he considers himself a massive fraud who bullshitted his way to the top.

  • A Father to His Men: His troops adore him. Most of why he feels like such an atrocious piece of shit is that he is convinced that, when the "web of lies" he's set up by accident inevitably collapses, his men will be caught in it and die along with him for something they didn't deserve.
  • Badass Baritone: Cain has a gloriously deep voice to match his badassery... or rather, his facade of badassery in public. Once nobody's watching him, however, wastes no time switching to a far less impressive voice as he whines and rants about how much of a fraud he is.
  • Broken Ace: Despite his bravado in public, once he's found himself in private, he vents about how he's a piece of shit fraud who should've died long ago.
  • Cool Sword: A bog standard chainsword, but cool nonetheless.
  • Character Exaggeration: Downplayed, surprisingly enough by the standards of the show. He's done far more impressive feats in canon so his actions against the Orks sounds exactly like what he typically does. His intense Heroic Self-Deprecation however? Far more pronounced.
  • Failed a Spot Check: He's so busy ranting about his own perceived inadequacies and impostor syndrome that he fails to notice Marneus Caglar, in full armor, is standing in his office just out of sight.
  • Heroic Build: When out in public, this is what he looks like. When in private, he becomes noticeably more scrawny. It's possible he's puffing out his chest to make himself seem more muscular when he's really more of an average Commissar.
  • Heroic Self-Deprecation: And plenty. While back in the books it was kept internal at all times, here the dam bursts and he unleashes a massive rant aimed mostly at himself at how much of a bullshitting, overly-lucky piece of shit he is that is eventually going to die and get his entire force killed. His scream before going on his rant is even subtitled "Scream of unending imposter syndrome". The man clearly doesn't like himself.
  • Indy Ploy: Cain somehow survived a fight against the Orks by simply doing one thing: survive. This actually got the warboss killed, forcing a retreat and earning him the Star of Terra.
  • Lantern Jaw of Justice: He has a massive and strong chin to match his reputation as a legendary badass... that disappears as soon as he thinks he's alone.
  • Odd Friendship: Ends up having one with Calgar, who declares him "mood kindred" given their shared history of managing the impossible despite bullshitting their way to victory and feeling like pieces of shit as a result.
  • Offscreen Moment of Awesome: He's introduced sometime after stopping a WAAAGH singlehandedly by pure accident. The troops more or less explain to us what had happened (from their point of view.)
  • Oh, Crap!: When he finds out Calgar was listening in to his rant.
  • Right Behind Me: Turns out his self-loathing rant was overheard by Calgar himself, who was there to give him the Star of Terra. Fortunately for him, Calgar sympathized with him.
  • Unluckily Lucky: His tendency for getting into trouble and yet getting out of it unscathed regardless of the circumstances is noted by himself, and he fears that it's running entirely on fumes.


Saint Celestine, The Living Saint

Voiced by: Snipe

Celestine is one of the Living Saints, a handful of extremely important people in the Imperial faith who have displayed miraculous powers and have been canonized by a conclave of the Ecclesiarchy and the Inquisition. She is known to come to the rescue of Imperial forces in the most dire of times.

  • Cool Sword: The sword she carries around is called The Ardent Blade while she doesn't get to use it, it still looks pretty cool.
  • Holy Halo: The armor she wears which is The Armor of Saint Katherine incorporates an elaborate ornamental halo. Given Celestine's status as a Living Saint, the imagery drives that point home even more.
  • Psychopomp: She serves this role, escorting the souls of the faithful to the Emperor to their safe afterlife in the Warp.
  • Walking Spoiler: Talking about her revels the fate of Dominique, the truth behind Fyodor, and the emergence of Star-Fyodperor.


Belisarius Cawl

Voiced by: StellarElite, CCRockChic and TheLemonGrenade
Line open. Hello! Belisarius Cawl speaks. What do you require? FUCKING WHAT?!

An ancient tech-priest alive during the Heresy, creator of the Primaris Marines. The Fabricator-General orders him to eliminate Kitten's task force.

  • Adaptational Villainy: Cawl in canon was still a nominally heroic, calm-headed character by Imperial standards and was partially responsible for the resurrection of Guilliman. That deed isn’t mentioned and still hasn't happened here, where he's far more violent, aggressive and morally dark.
  • Blackmail: The Fabricator-General threatens to blow up his Primaris project if he doesn't destroy the Custodes.
  • Cyborg: Comes with being an Archmagos of the Adeptus Mechanicus.
  • Dirty Business: This is how the Fabricator-General characterizes his assignment.
  • The Dragon: To the Fabricator General.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: Cawl's insanity results in it. The Fabricator General isn't exactly known for his mental stability but even he thinks Cawl's a weirdo. He also refers to Cawl as having "way too many mechadendrites" despite being a towering Mechanical Abomination himself.
  • Fun with Subtitles: His captions will actively swap/exchange/MURDER AND REPLACE words on the fly whenever one of his personalities overrides the others.
  • Human Resources: The other half of the reason he accepts the hit on the Custodes is to take samples for his Primaris Marine project.
  • Mad Scientist: Is very excited to use Custodes bits/components/MEAT for his Primaris project.
  • Mood-Swinger: Due to the Split Personality mentioned below, he can swing between moderate and violently angry.
  • Psycho for Hire: Downplayed in that he's being partially blackmailed into killing the Custodes, but the other half of his motivation is access to their corpses for his Primaris Marine research.
  • Shout-Out: His three personalities, specifically the fact that they have a Calm/Feminine/Belligerent setup, makes him audibly similar to The Master.
  • Split Personality: Canon Cawl's mind is described as his original mind working in concert with multiple AI copies, akin to a conductor and his choir working in harmony. This version of Cawl pokes fun at the idea by having said personalities be far more discordant, seemingly constantly jockeying for a chance to speak/operate/DOMINATE! the gestalt; one seems to be a giddy mad scientist, one is violently antagonistic and insane, while a third seems to moderate the other two.
  • Voice of the Legion: Sort of. Belisarius speaks with three voices but they can often be discordant. One is aggressive and antagonistic, one is enthusiastic, and the third is more moderate. Downplayed in that they never speak at the same time.
  • Walking Spoiler: It's kind of hard to discuss him without discussing the fact that he's the biggest roadblock in Magnus' secret plan to claim the Proteus Protocol to revive the Emperor.


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