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    Reefer Madness 
  • Summing up the entire premise of the film's hilariously off-the-mark message:
    Snob: Even the 1930s said, "Fuck this movie!"
  • Pointing out a big Nice Job Fixing It, Villain moment when expositing how joints are made...
    Snob: Thanks. Now I know how to roll my own joint and where to hide my stash. This movie is educational!
  • "This'll learn ya! We're burning all your blocks of delicious cheddar cheese!"
    Snob: Aaand this ol' roamin' town's about to get some secondhand happiness!
  • "Let's start this prequel to I Accuse My Parents..."
  • Snob is taken aback by a crossguard holding his hand out to the camera. Snob complies and shuts up until the scene is over, after which he "can continue being a smartass."
  • Just casually mentioning how the piano player looks like he chopped up five people before coming to the party. While pausing on the dude's sudden Nightmare Face.
    • And when "Hatchet-Wielding Harry", as Snob calls him, is off by himself smoking a joint and giggling like mad...
      Snob: Good! That'll calm him down!
  • Snob's immediate response to Mary getting shot is hilariously morbid:
    Snob: Well, good! Something else to make a bong out of!
  • The Snob's pretentious twin brother, who defends the movie before spreading mayonnaise on his nipple.

    Friday the 13th, Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan 

    Macho Man 
  • Punch-Out!! sound effects return, with Snob saying it's an Obligatory Joke.
  • "I see someone has the blues. Music/Kraftwerk Macaroni and Cheese

    I'm Not Ashamed 
  • Snob's reaction to how the movie isn't as preachy as he thought it would be.
    Snob: The Columbine Pureflix movie is less hateful than the romance Pureflix movie.
  • The Snob pointing out they parodied a scene from the movie in Jesus, Bro! without having even seen the movie.
  • The film is about a victim of the Columbine massacre, yet constantly feels the need to unsubtly foreshadow said massacre. The Snob isn't amused:
    (after yet another scene of Harris and Klebold planning)
  • During a scene where the dialogue is frustratingly deafened by a character playing a guitar, Snob plays a scene of Bluto smashing a guitar.
  • "The '90s made it much easier to notice the douchebags: they all wore the same white hats. And they all look thirty."
  • There's something darkly funny about how with all the horrible movies the Snob has covered, it's a PureFlix movie that has him visibly nervous about reviewing it, complete with eighties-style collar tugging. Especially when the movie actually turns out to be surprisingly tasteful.
  • Though the movie turns out to be better than expected, Snob gets increasingly annoyed at the over-the-top foreshadowing, considering everyone knows how the movie's going to end.
    Snob: And the way the dialogue is, it's like every line is her last line!
    Rachel: Hey...look out for my friend Austin when I'm not around.
    Snob: Oh my god, movie, I know she's gonna die!
    Rachel: Why can't I see my future?

    Glen or Glenda 
  • Snob getting his mail wearing a dress - and as a Call-Back, dancing to "It's An Inky Dinky Doo-Dah Morning" while doing so.
  • The Snob's pretentious twin returns to talk about how the film was ahead of its time. After that's said and done, we see him pull a pineapple from the bottom of the screen with a pop sound effect and a moan. The Snob's response? Asking how come his brother had hair now, even though he didn't last time.
  • "Bela Lugosi in Glen or Glenda. We don't know which but his penis is in one of the two."

    The Beyond 

    Manhattan Baby 
  • During a scene that takes place in an Egyptian tomb, the Snob points out that there's some...interesting music.
    Snob: It's not that I object the American release using music from Mario 64, but why?
  • The annoying kid from House by the Cemetery is back! And Snob refuses to call him by his character's name, but by the other movie's "Bob".

    City of the Living Dead 
  • The fact the ending is as vague as possible annoys Snob, even saying City of the Walking Dead seems to have more of a conclusion.
  • Another Patreon poll... with Windy City shoehorned in as an option again.

  • During the opening, Snob does a Bait-and-Switch saying the "Electoral College" chose Windy City instead... and during The Stinger, like in the Academy Awards one day before, comes an envelope with a different result: "The Black Cat".
  • As the villainess becomes a wolf, Snob dubs in Benji dialogue from Oh! Heavenly Dog.

    King Dong 
  • "If there are four E.T. pornos, of course there will be a King Kong one!"

    Bela Lugosi Meets A Brooklyn Gorilla 
  • "This title just sounds as if I'm reading about him going to the zoo!"
  • After a terrible joke:
    Snob: Hmm, she's the only one laughing. Reminds me of when I took a date to go see the That Darn Cat remake. There was no second date. Just like if I took a date who laughed at this!
  • The Snob's growing annoyance with Sammy Petrillo.
  • "Compliments of Frank Sinatra mother fucker!"
  • Jordan B. Matthews returns again, and doesn't even try to defend the film as he has his own defense to make...
    Jordan: It has come to my attention that there are many people who think I pulled a pineapple out my ass during my last appearance. I will have you know that it was not my ass. I was making sweet love to the pineapple with my sweaty, adequate dick, and if anyone says otherwise, they will be immediately blocked.

    Mighty Muffin Pounder Rangers 
  • The return of Actual Lee (after all, Linkara is the resident Power Rangers expert), with intromissions that are always irrelevant.

    God's Club 
  • The Dove Foundation is compared to Armond White, "except it's not trying to sound smart". Cue a tweet by White replying to the Snob.
    What?! Oh, Armond White does sound like the guy who Twitter-searches his own name.
  • "Your brother, Donald Trump" - Alec Baldwin dressed as Trump, of course.
  • Snob's continuous disappointment at Stephen Baldwin's sleepwalking performance, which at a certain point he starts to highlight with the praising blurb "Stephen Baldwin is superb".
    • "[Stephen Baldwin] looks like a handsome...thumb."

    "The Smuffs" 
  • Snob's angry tirade against lazy Parallel Porn Titles (including the movie from this episode, which is actually This Ain't The Smurfs XXX: A Porn Parody).
  • Tobe Fair is back, though his takedowns by the Snob (which even include a reference to the Ghost in the Shell (2017) Midnight Screenings episode) are funnier than his intromissions.

    Zombies on Broadway 
  • "Only this movie doesn't have Hitler in it! Weird that I have to specify this..."
  • A character named Douglas Walker leads to obvious references.
    Snob: Because of the criticisms from Doug Walker, Brown & Carney are threatened in to finding a real zombie for the night club...and that is literally an accurate description of the Plot!

    God's Not Dead 2 

    Another Son of Sam 
  • "That's not a good idea! I wanna watch a movie, not get shot with a .44 caliber pistol!"

    Unidentified Flying Oddball 
  • The movie being so bad it makes Snob the driest and most sarcastic he's been in years. Well, moreso. Just see the sheer contempt whenever Snob has to say the title out loud.
  • Saying the movie is a more accurate retelling of King Arthur than the Guy Ritchie version hitting theaters.
  • Patreon poll! And Snob doesn't even do a Verbal Backspace listing Windy City again.

    Windy City 
  • The whole opening where Snob notes how Windy City finally won a Patreon poll, and that it's a dull movie that lacks anything remotely resembling Dianne Wiest blowing herself up in Independence Day 1983.
    • Even better: it won the poll by one percent of the votes.
    • He then concludes that people would rather watch lame 80's dramas than movies with aliens, given how Independence Day was the, well, Independence Day: Resurgence tie in, and Windy City is the Alien: Covenant tie in.note 
  • In fact, Snob is so bored by the movie that he falls asleep right at the opening credits
  • The introduction of Sol:
    Danny: My friend Sol was dying.
    Snob: Oh no Sol's dying... WHO THE FUCK IS SOL??
  • He isn't particularly impressed by Sol's love advice either.
    Sol: Dustin Hoffman wouldn't let her get away! He ran to that church, he was pounding at that door! Elaine! Elaine!
  • Also this:
    Snob:I'm really not looking forward to The Windy City spin-off ''Better NOT Call Sol''
  • Bored out of his mind, Snob starts doing a Tequila and Bonetti voice for a dog.
  • When it becomes clear how serious the Rogues are about their childhood dream about being pirates:
    Snob: I know it's because they watched pirate movies as kids, and wanted to go on adventures. But I watched Die Hard as a kid and didn't want to jump off buildings!
  • Over footage of the ship the Rogues chartered for Sol, Danny gives us the "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue.
    Danny: Sol died at sundown on the ninth day...
    Snob: [imitating Danny, as the ship's cannon fires] We then fired him out of a cannon. His body crashed into a White Castle and they made chicken rings out of his remains.
  • At the end, he reveals that Windy City never got an official DVD release...which is why he has a bootleg.
    Snob: Even the disc says "Fuck Sol", they blew a hole in his fucking head!
  • The "Fuck Sol" Running Gag, after it appears that Danny is the only one of the Rogues who seems to care about Sol. Take Thats towards Sol not only were a running gag in this episode, but went on to becoming running gags in later reviews! To the point that a montage of memorable characters from 2017 reviews in the "Top 10 Cinema Snob Moments of 2017" (which included Sol) ended with a "Fuck Sol!"
  • Snob stating that his next review will be Pirates, the porn parody/mockbuster of the Pirates of the Caribbean films, because by its title alone that movie has a better excuse to be about pirates than Windy City.

  • "They do have a budget: they've afforded the real Cap'n Crunch!"
  • "Accidental lesbian sex...BOY, WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE BEFORE!"

    Erotic Nights of the Living Dead 
  • "When I finished one year of the Cinema Snob, it already felt like ten years!"
  • The Running Gag on Mark Shannon's genital warts.
  • A black cat has Snob say it's someone angry at The Black Cat losing the Fulciuary poll.
  • After the main characters finally reach the island 50 minutes into the movie:
    Snob: And there's still an hour of this movie left! Because fuck you!

    Night of the Seagulls 

    Deep Throat II 

    Caligula III 
  • Stock footage from other Caligula reviews!
  • As the film cuts back and forth from Caligula, his cousin and a dancer, Snob splices in one of the Oogieloves playing the keyboard.

    Cannibal Holocaust II 
  • Regarding the Framing Device of the original episode, Snob says "So probably I'm now dead".
  • The Running Gag on how Snob keeps expecting animal cruelty.

    That Nazty Nuisance 
  • Snob admits he forgot all about The Devil With Hitler because he saw the movie, wrote and shot the video, all in the same day. And admits he did the same with this one, so he'll probably forget it too.
    Snob: (mirthfully) Heh heh heh heh heh, I forgot about Hitler taking it in the ass with a bomb! Heh heh- (legitimately confused/concerned) How could I forget Hitler taking it in the ass with a bomb?
  • Upon learning that the film also goes by "The Last Three," Snob says that if he'd known that was a title, he wouldn't have put off reviewing a movie whose title he didn't know how to pronounce.

    Crackerjack 2: Hostage Train 

    Return to Boggy Creek 
  • Snob admits he forgot to do 350th episode Milestone Celebration.
  • The Running Gag on how the movie is a complete bore.
  • Every joke about Uncle Bo.
  • This video contains not one, but two Will It Fit? gags.
    Snob!Uncle Bo: "You kids be careful now. I'll just be busy filming my own version of 'Will It Fit?'."
    Snob: "Dawn realizes the kids are gone, but more importantly, 'Will It Fit' took are a dangerous turn when Uncle Bo tried stuffing grandpa's head up his biscuits."

    Who Reamed Rosie Rabbit Part Two 
  • Eddie from the movie inspires a Douchey McNitpick-type complaining that Snob is making too many religious movies compared to porn. Then they give him a laptop playing the porno web show "Will It Fit".
  • Snob/Brad explaining that normally, he writes 8 paragraphs of material when making an episode for the show. The movie gave him so little to work with, he only managed to write 3.

    The Slumber Party Massacre Part III 
  • Snob tries to end the episode after 30 seconds.
  • "The face says 'villain in a David Lynch movie' or 'hero in a Stephenie Meyer book'"
  • "Maria must be the Sol of the group. Fuck Maria!"

    Darna vs. The Planet Women 
  • Snob saying he did not take the week off because a Wonder Woman movie meant he watched Darna vs. The Planet Woman (said with about the same contempt as Unidentified Flying Oddball). "I deserve no breaks!"
  • Another weird fan appears, Walt Right - which true to the name, is creepy and has complaints so bizarre and off-topic Snob can't even find a proper answer.
  • The Gag Sub returns in this one, with moments ranging from the kid character's foul mouth, to the grandma character quoting War Room, and especially a doctor speaking English, but the subtitles are in Tagalog.

    Santo and the Vengeance of the Mummy 
  • Snob annoyed at how long the Bookends with luchadores go. In the first, he even adds a Freeze-Frame Bonus (a split second appearance of Walt Right).
  • "He was a mummy this whole time!"

    The Little Cars in the Great Race 
  • V8 (the taxi character) complains that Cruise and the other cars talk a lot about "race here, race there" whenever a big race draws near, so Snob jokes that the Little Cars series is actually a hard-hitting parable on race relations. Later on in the movie, he makes this joke:
    V8: Who's that new racer?
    Coupe: (to V8) I don't know, but it's really weird. He looks a lot like Cruise. Don't you think so, Uncle?
    V8: Cruise?
    Snob: Not all cars look the same! That's racist!
  • Whenever a character makes a lame car-related joke, Snob follows up with a short Hurricane of Puns of his own.
  • "Pixar's Cars may be made by someone who likes cars, but Little Cars is made by someone who wants to fuck them!"
  • Snob guesses that V8 got his name because people wouldn't stop sticking vegetables in his tailpipe.



    Playmate of the Apes 

    Sex and the City 
  • Snob says he watched the show because of his new roommate, a former film critic - Jay Sherman!
  • Snob's demonstration of how bad the film is: he pulls out a paper, hypothetically containing all the character relationships and plot arcs from over the course of the show's history... which he then crumples and chucks behind him against the wall. Which then becomes a Running Gag anytime characterization from the show is ruined.
  • "Wait, no chapter on Jack Berger?! He was a writer! And he's probably hung himself by now!"
  • After Snob realizes that the building agent for Carrie and Big's new apartment is played by Malcolm Gets from Caroline in the Citynote :
    Snob: (scoff; looks up in confusing) Why do I know that?!
  • Snob calls out Samantha for bidding $50k at an auction, since that money could've helped out with the script.
  • Adding "Psycho" Strings to Charlotte's Thousand-Yard Stare.
  • Snob decides to add his own Carrie narration (done spot-on by Brad's wife Laura).
    Laura!Carrie: (As Carrie opens a closet door) I couldn't help but wonder, will this apartment give us a new lease on love?
  • This exchange:
    Samantha: [Upon seeing Miranda's pubic hair poking out from under her swimsuit] ...Jesus, honey; wax much?
    Snob: That may be the most appropriate use of that Bushwhacked joke ever
  • Snob calling the "trying on clothes montage" as a less anally-intrusive version of Will It Fit?.
  • "This is the easiest check Evan Handler ever cashed!"
  • Snob stating the movie besmirched the name of Mannequin: On the Move before using Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now whenever Samantha is feeling horny.
  • The fact that someone like Snob knows so much about the original series is funny in and of itself. Either he did a lot of research or he's actually a fan (or Brad himself is, which is possibly even funnier).

    Christian Mingle 
  • The opening, where Snob compares various romances to dating sites.
  • "Maybe he turned to Christianity after his sister blew herself up." - cue Independence Day 1983 clip... "Hahahah! The gift that truly keeps on giving."
  • The Snob's Big "WHAT?!" to the movie's iconic line "You could help show me my driftwood", preempting his reaction by comparing it to Second Glance's "Hey Scotty, Jesus Man" and The Pretender's "If I ever come to Jesus, I'll come all the way".
  • When Gwyneth says that all she wants is a man that will look at her for ten seconds and smile.
    Snob: Boy, do I have a guy for you!
    (shows a scene from Old Fashioned)
    Snob: Downside, he may be Norman Bates.
  • "I smell a 'learning to be a Christian montage'". Cuts to a montage of the Rickhead reading the bible. "What? I didn't say it'd be from Christian Mingle".
  • After a character blatantly makes up a Bible verse: "Well, it could've been worse. You could've said it was from 'Two Corinthians'."
  • The Snob repeatedly points out that for all it's flaws, the movie is still a better Christian romance than Old Fashioned.
  • The Snob keeps getting taken aback by how stupid the characters act sometimes, to the point of wondering twice if it's a Stealth Parody.

    (Paul struggles with chopsticks)
    Snob: Christians aren't this stupid. Why is this movie being condescending to itself?

    (Gwyneth fumbles with a Bible)
    Snob: You don't know how a fucking book works?!

    (Gwyneth doesn't know how to end Grace)
    Snob: You don't know what the word "Amen" is?!

    (Paul's mother tries to spell it out for him that Gwyneth is a phony, to no effect)
    Snob: It was then she realized that she raised an idiot.

    (Paul invites Gwyneth down to Mexico)
    Snob: He actually invites her down to Mexico, which is followed by her double checking the map to see where Mexico is?

    (the missionaries stare at a bell for a while, then stare at the bell tower for a while)
    Snob: Are you wondering how to get up there or are you wondering what a bell is? The characters are so brain-dead I can't tell!

    Sex and the City 2 
  • The fact that the (placeholder) title card is the exact same title card used for the review of the first movie, but with a poorly drawn "2" over it.
  • Bastard Film Brain strikes again... in Tweet form!
    I know a thing about heels, I use them to pleasure Snob's sexually frustrated great grandmother.
  • Abu Dhabi leads to a Garfield joke. ("What the fuck was Nermal complaining about?").
  • The return of Laura Jones as Fake!Carrie, who comes with her own snarky comments on the film.
    Fake!Carrie: (In response to Carrie meeting her ex in Abu Dhabi) I couldn't help but wonder: is this really fucking farfetched?
  • The Snob responding to Samantha's Lawrence of my Labia line:
    Snob: That joke could have been worse. She could have said, "This Ain't Lawrence of Arabia, a XXX Joke.
  • The Snob's response to a sing-along?
    Phelous: No.

    Double Down 


    Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot 

    Dancin': It's On! 
  • The opening, where Snob acknowledges all the requests, so "the movie is probably FUCKING GREAT!"
  • Snob pulling out a cap and placing it sideways on his head, saying the phrase "Yo, kids! Let's rap about dancing!"
  • His comments about the main couple's dance routine, such as
    Snob!Heroine's classmate: I'm tripping on acid too! Let's freak out together
  • "The Captain" earns a Jar Jar Binks impression whenever he's on-screen, including the opening roll call, which also identifies Danny and Ken as "Hip Youth Group Minister" and the "Slim Jim" guy, respectively.
  • His mockery of the Expository Theme Tune
I don't wanna be stuck here in my room
There is so much I wanna do
I gotta get out of this place
And then some people got shot out into space
Never to be seen again
Changed my clothes between the shots
Don't know how he dances in slow motiooon
But there you go!
  • His reaction to Ken's angry dance montage ending with a random shot of a helicopter blowing up:
    Snob: Because do you know how every angry dance montage should end? With FUCKIN' NAM!
  • The Snob referencing Smilex gas in one scene, which becomes Hilarious in Hindsight for those who follow Atop the Fourth Wall, because Linkara reviewed the comic adaptation of Batman (1989) the same week this review came out.
  • The "Will It Fit?" Running Gag returns, this time having David Winters portray the host for the fictional show.
  • Just hearing that one of the characters is named "Shotsy" is enough for Snob to scoff and then shout "Fuck off!"
  • The Running Gag of imagining that Danny's actually a serial killer.
  • Snob constantly mocking the film's ADR.
  • "And now back to the notflict... I mean conflict"
  • Repeatedly pointing out the weirdness of the background characters that include jugglers, people re-enacting famous movie scenes, a girl on stilts and so on.
    Snob: They didn't put a call out for extras, they put a call out for "miscallaneous".
    • And later on
      Snob!Director: Eh, listen, we got the stilts girl for an extra day, just get her in a few shots, okay?
  • "The mime isn't even the most creepy thing about this scene...Never thought I'd say that!"
  • The movie turns out to be so bad that even the Sun itself doesn't want to be in it.
    Snob!Sun during the movie's attempt at The Big Damn Kiss Listen guys can you wrap it up? I'm still trying to die with some dignity here!

    Song of the South 
  • Walt Right appearing almost immediately at the beginning of the review, much to the Snob/Brad's horror.
  • Snob suspects that he's watching an Updated Re-release version of the film.
    Snob: The film has had an interesting release history and, I dunno, something tells me I may be looking at a sneak peek of a theoretical US DVD release.
    (The title card comes up. Disney's name is crossed out and replaced with the Illumination Entertainment logo)
    Snob: Damn, I gotta hand it to them, this is Illumination's best work to date.
  • Snob tries to cut away several times away from the movie, only to cut to even more blatantly racist cartoons. And then he wants to watch another forgotten Disney cartoon, so it cuts to one about Nazism.
  • Snob's numerous insults to Johnny's stupid wardrobe.
    Snob!Remus: Here ya go Johnny, it's another story called "Brer Rabbit Thinks Johnny Dresses Like a Jackass."

    Snob: Johnny wears his finest used tampon to pick Ginny up for the party.

    Snob: The black people are all praying for Johnny's speedy recovery. Without Johnny, who else is gonna walk around dressed like a Nutcracker?
  • When Uncle Remus stops the bullies harrassing Johnny:
    Snob!Remus: Gimme that stick, you're about to know what a Popsicle feels like, motherfucker!
  • Whenever Snob impersonated Uncle Remus, at times playing up his frustration with Johnny.
    Snob!Remus: Goddamn it, what'd I tell you little shits about gettin' my ass shot?!
  • Snob's theory that Brer Rabbit is actually Bugs Bunny disguising himself from Yosemite Sam, and that Brer Bear is stoned off his ass.


    My Little Pony: The Movie 

    Halloween H20: 20 Years Later 
  • Snob insisting to refer to Adam Arkin's character as Batman.
  • This gem:
    (Laurie knees Michael in the groin, making him go cross-eyed while looking at her.)
    Snob as Michael: "I wish you would!"

    Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday 

    Tyler Perry's Boo! A Madea Halloween 

    A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors 

    Halloween: Resurrection 
  • Snob dyed his hair blond in memory of Ben Tramer.
  • When Harvey Weinstein's name appears in the credits:
    • Later, when a character sexually harasses another character, Snob as the character claims that "Harvey said I could!"

    Mr. No Legs 
  • The Running Gag on how the movie is named after a minor character and Mr. No Legs dies before the third act.
    Snob: It'd be like if you titled The Spy Who Loved Me Jaws, and I can think of a couple reasons why they may run into difficulty there!
  • Then Snob discovers that its on-screen title is actually Gun Fighter.
    Snob: Gee, I don't know why they changed it! Am I watching a movie or playing an arcade game?!
  • After a scene shows one of the protagonists in his bedroom, which is covered in fur, and his girlfriend in a white nightgown:
    Snob: Hey, you're getting your Caligula knock-off in my Mr. No Legs!
  • This gem:
    Snob: [after showing D'Angelo getting angry at Mr. No Legs] Lloyd Bochner is just upset because his son Ellis may have a cocaine problem.Explanation 
  • The bar scene is quite the doozy:
    [after a bar patron flirts with who a appears to be a transgender woman]
    Snob: I'm not sure what the scene has to do with anything, but I think I know what the twist is gonna be.
    [a black woman and a white woman get into a fight]
    Snob: Ummm� The twist is a race riot?! Well I wasn't expecting that! [�] And then she [the black woman] is murdered as the bartender just watches.
    Another Bar Patron: That black bitch!
    [the bartender, who's also black, cracks a bottle over his head and laughs]
    Snob: Nevermind, he took care of� that guy.
    Snob: [imitating one of the protagonists] "Eh, let's just leave the bartender to clean up this shit."
    Bartender: [sighs] Hmph-damn.
    Snob: [shakes his head] That's the look of a man who has to frequently shut down his bar due to bottle stabbings.
  • Snob recognizing that D'Angelo, the Big Bad, is played by the same actor who played Walter Thornton, Pia Zadora's husband in The Lonely Lady.
    Snob: Meanwhile, Walter Thornton had to move away from screenwriting and into drug-dealing because his wife kept ruining his damn scripts!
  • "Oh, to be a fly on the lens while shooting this sequence." Said while there's an actual fly on the scene's lens.
  • The movie was made by the creators of Flipper, and there's even an actor from that series. It's also a Running Gag, to the point Snob closes the review by complaining Mr. No Legs was never defeated by a dolphin.


    He Knows You're Alone 

    Christmas with a Capital C 
  • Not only there is another hoodie this year (a Rudolph one!), but Snob also wears pink reindeer pajamas to match it.
  • The continuous revolt at another War on Christmas movie.
  • Snob calling out the idea that a black woman would fully believe that people not being allowed to say "Merry Christmas" is an injustice in America.
  • The Just Eat Gilligan moment of the whole movie, where Snob points out that the complaints about the Christmas decorations around town can be ignored due to the nativity being protected as celebratory theism. "Okay, movie over!" *cuts to credits*
  • When Daniel Baldwin's character is introduced and it's almost-immediately revealed that he used to date the main character's wife, Snob does his "[X]'s gonna bang your wife, bro!" Running Gag, but this time, he does it in the most flat and devoid of amusement way possible.

    Santa's Christmas Elf (Named Calvin) 
  • There's a classic Snob introduction saying the movie is as bad/weird as it gets, culminating in why it's a hard watch: every shot is a still frame.
    • Snob even makes a point to hold off on actually explaining the film's background information until the halfway point, as to give the audience a break.
  • Snob asks why the parenthetical "(named Calvin)" was added to the title, and then proposes one that's even more pointlessly specific: Santa's Christmas Elf (named Calvin, who isn't a huge fan of mushrooms but doesn't mind cream of mushroom soup, maybe because the mushroom pieces are so small, and the broth has a nice taste that covers the slimy and squishy texture of plain mushrooms).
  • After an unnecessarily long still shot of Santa, we cut to Snob pointedly remarking that there's still 65 minutes left in the film.
  • And since the movie is treated like a storybook, Snob adds in his own narration over the still shots, to darkly comedic effect.
  • When Kim the little girl says that Calvin now belongs to her and they'll have so much fun, Snob knows where it's going...fundamental friend dependability!
  • The near-complete lack of any kind of motion leads Snob to compare the movie to Plumbers Don't Wear Ties. He gets so annoyed by it that a VHS tracking error to give the illusion of movement is praised as one of the best parts of the film.
  • In response to Santa showing up to get Calvin... by pretending to be a donation man, telling Kim's mother that he's collecting toys for next Christmas:
    Snob: (scoff) So, people just let anyone in their house in the Seventies!
    • As Santa reveals himself to Kim... in a semi-creepy manner: "Where's the cop?!"
  • "The narration was provided by Dorothy Brown Green. PICK A FUCKING COLOR!"
  • "The film was produced by whatever change he had in his wallet, and directed by Barry Mahon."
  • "Why does he (Calvin) look like Trump?"
    • Later when Calvin's on a plane and his hair is untouched by the wind.
    Snob: This scene is highly unrealistic. I've seen what this hair looks like under heavy wind.
  • The Snob theorizes this movie was filmed by the Sea King due to the pictures of the little girl sleeping.
  • When a group of kids start calling Calvin ugly:
    Snob: Oh, and is the doll ugly, kids who look like a garden of weeds.
  • "The bullies are then distracted when they start groping each other, Kim is lured in by a member of the Manson family, leaving Calvin to be tortured by two bullies. Santa, is still jerking off."
  • It appears as though Snob has seen one too many exploitation films.
    Snob: And I'm fairly certain that Calvin, is gonna get raped.
    Narrator: The boys took Calvin to a large field.
    Snob: Where is this movie going?!

    The Star Wars Holiday Special Commercial Breaks 
  • The Running Gag about not having a flying car whenever the General Motors commercials appear.
  • When Snob acknowledges that most people associate the Holiday Special with Christmas, Gay Jesus from Christmas with a Capital C makes a cameo to go on another tirade.
    Snob as Gay Jesus: It was those damn secularists that renamed it the "Holiday Special"! Bring Christmas back to a Galaxy Far, Far Away! Wahahahahah!
  • Even when reviewing commercials, Snob will always fit in a Will It Fit? joke
    Will it Fit? Host: On the next "Will It Fit?", we'll be drawing a line straight into my ass. We'll see what kind of tunnels this truck can fit in. Also, batteries are included, but you're not getting them back.
  • When two movie trailers appear in the commercials, Snob remarks that he'll wait for the Midnight Screenings for those movies, leading to Midnight Screenings '78, starring 70's Brian as a non-stop Pungeon Master and 70's Brad as his Jive Turkey-spewing hypeman.
    [while reviewing The Wild Geese]
    70's Brian: These wild geese have crashed and burned long before flying south. You know, honk if you heard this one before. When it comes to this war film, less is more: Roger Moore.
    70's Brad: Oh-ho shit, my man!

    [while reviewing The Wiz]
    70's Brian: This movie lacks brain and heart. You're gonna need some courage to sit through this one, but Diana Ross does not reign supreme. I give this one a Jackson zero out of fives. There is no place like a better movie.
    70's Brad: Oh ho ho ho, good night John boy! Yo momma!
  • "Coming up next on Brad Tries..., Brad tries a 40-year-old Reggie bar and dies!" Many comments actually wanted Brad to try a Reggie bar.
    • Sure enough, he actually tried one (albeit from the 90's re-release) and found it to be the worst thing he ever ate on the show.
  • When he gets to a pantyhose commercial where the two women get excited about their new pantyhose;
    Snob: I think my wife is having an affair with the neighbor's wife!
  • Snob injects some modern sensibilities into a 70s news break:
    Snob: And since Twitter hasn't been invented yet, guess I gotta get my news from TV.
    Anchorwoman: Soviet president Brezhnev told twelve US senators that the Soviet Union had once tested a neutron bomb, but never put it into production.

    A Christmas Kiss