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Funny / The Cinema Snob (2021 episodes)

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     The Shining 
  • Just the fact that the Snob is still in his Jack Skellington onesie.
  • Snob points out that it took him far too long to realise he could also review good movies on his show.
  • Showing how the movie would be made in the modern age: Danny sees the twins in the hallway and then it cuts to "One month ago".
  • Once the movie's clamshell is opened, the movie inside is Ninja Avengers.
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     Child's Play 3 

  • Snob says that it's time to remove the Christmas decorations, and holds up his Jack Skellington onesie.
  • Chucky's one-liners are back:
    Chucky: Don't fuck with the Chuck!
    Snob: He took eight years to come up with that.
  • When Chucky garrottes Good Guy boss Mr Sullivan with a yo-yo:
    Snob: Look, maybe you shouldn't have had Irwin Mainway come up with the most dangerous toy lines ever conceived. Given how ridiculous his other toys are, I'm guessing this yo-yo is made from straight-up piano wire.
  • Snob points out how hard it was for him to hold out on the Conal Cochran references in the Mr Sullivan sequence.
  • Snob can't figure out why Tyler is so impressed by the Good Guy cartoon.
    Tyler: [In slow-motion] Woooowwwww . . .
    Snob: Dude, you have a Game Gear, why is this cartoon BLOWING your MIND?!
  • When Tyler skips down the hall carrying a large package, and the minor plot hole it carries with it:
    Snob: So, it's clearly Chucky wrapped up in a gift to be sent to Andy, but the real question is: who wrapped that package? Was it the guy who took this picture?
    [Shot of the 'Jason Slain' newspaper article from Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning.]
  • This film contains Snob's favourite kind of Chucky: the scared, pissed Chucky.
  • The garbage truck that crushes the driver after he climbs into it doubles up as a medieval torture chamber.
    Snob: That's on you, dumbass!
  • "So this must be where Neidermeyer was killed by his own men."
  • Snob's response to the death traps in the carnival finale:
    Snob: More local carnivals need to be designed with the same amount of detail Mola Ram puts into a human sacrifice!
  • "Christmas ain't over until I see Chucky fall off the Nakatomi Mountain of Skulls."
  • The final line:
    Snob: Now, let's see if Chucky can take over the school from King Frat. Yes, I know I mention that movie a lot. That's because, after all this time, I still have that DAMN THEME SONG stuck in my head! SERIOUSLY!
    [The theme from King Frat plays at the end of the review.]

     Trump vs. The Illuminati 
  • The opening line:
    Snob: Whoa, ho, it's been too long since we've had an episode of 'Is this real or a fake trailer?'
  • "This all feels like it was made in an alternate universe where Dinesh D'Souza bought stock in the Gladiformers franchise."
  • When Snob looks at the credits:
    Snob: The film comes to us from writer-director . . . er, BC Fourteen? That sounds like the movie actually was made by an alien trying to be human.
  • Snob can't work out if the movie is a parody or not.
    • Or, with all the exposition, whether he's watching a movie or watching a pitch meeting.
  • Alien Aleister Crowley has the voice of the Crypt Keeper.
  • "The movie is only 69 minutes long, but it takes twice as long to watch because you have to back up dialogue to even attempt to catch up with the plot!"
  • This exchange:
    Snob: Oh, we still doing trailer lines?
  • Trump drives around in the Micro-Penis-Mobile.
  • This bizarre Shout-Out:
    Trump: It seems like. Every time I try to get out. Some asshole. Pulls me back in.
    Snob: Wow. Coppola's new cut of Godfather Part III is even worse!
  • "While it is super-annoying we don't see his face, I'm haunted anytime we do."
    • "It's like his face should be a Mars version of a sarlacc pit."
  • The sheer amount of exposition in the movie is exhausting.
    Kali: This is the best news we've received since the Illuminati fled the Milky Way to regroup after losing the Battle of the Beyond in 2457.
    Snob: I'm sorry, did you just pitch me another movie?!
  • Snob's Call-Back to the previous week's review:
    Snob: But what do I know? I'm not that smart: last week I kept calling an Atari Lynx a Game Gear. [Briefly breaks character.] Dammit, I was so proud of those jokes too. Sorry. Hey, who has two copies of T2: The Arcade Game for the Sega Genesis and has never played an Atari Lynx? [Gestures at himself.] This guy. What, I had to pull these two out, 'cause I clearly don't have any Atari Lynx games.

     Dirty O'Neil: The Love Life of a Cop 
  • "Yes, while Dirty Harry was a runaway success in 1971, clearly that paved the way for Dirty O'Neil to get his day in the sun in 1974. He just had to go through three years of rip-off training first."
  • Snob shows the IMDb page synopsis:
    IMDb: A police officer has very little work as there is virtually no crime in his small California town . . . until three hoodlums appear and rape a young woman.
    Snob: But in true Seventies fashion, we get a movie whose plot description sounds like a seedy crime thriller, but is listed as an action-comedy.
  • Snob is taken aback by how horny the poster is.
  • Dirty O'Neil isn't Dirty Harry, he's one of the rapists from Sudden Impact.
  • When O'Neil dresses in drag as a nurse, Snob hopes that this is where Christopher Nolan got the idea for the Joker doing the same thing.
  • "So, Dirty O'Neil cast a love spell on the entire town, right?"
  • Snob points out the clichéd portrayal of women in the film and wonders if the writers were bitter about their ex-girlfriends.
    Snob: I wonder if the alternate title to this was "My Whore Ex Didn't Know What She Had"!

     Soup for One 
  • Snob points out that the film is both Woody Allen-sploitation and Albert Brooks-sploitation.
  • The presence of Saul Rubinek from Oy Vey! My Son is Gay!! and Gerrit Graham from Phantom of the Paradise make this a Who's Who of previous Snob episodes.
  • Regarding the film's structure, being told in flashbacks:
    Snob: We'll leave Allan with another flashback, within the flashback. Now, they're in college! Jesus, Ted Mosby, just tell us who the mother is. I don't need to see you eating a sandwich in school!
  • Snob says that it's nice of the movie to turn out the lights in one of the sex scenes, as it means he can actually show it.
  • Snob states that Brian (Gerrit Graham) goes to the Lloyd Christmas school of dressing up for a date.
  • When the film flashes back to show a young Allan, Snob is surprised at how long it took to show his childhood.
    Child Psychologist: I know that boys of your age attempted to take young ladies into closets and examine them.
    Snob: Wow, I didn't think Ted Bundy's backstory would be so hilarious.
  • Snob realises something:
    Snob: Also, it's hard for me to get upset at the movie. It's a heavy dialogue film about two deeply-flawed friends always at each other's throat, and there's a disco soundtrack, including sight gags involving people dressing like Saturday Night Fever to go to the same party. Did - did I write this movie in a past life?
  • Snob wishes that he'd come up with the idea of all the men at the party dressing like Tony Manero, and gets annoyed that he didn't write the movie.
    Allan: So - what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
    Snob: Although, I'd probably write a different line than that, and they'd probably say "fuck" about twelve times for no reason.
    Maria: Fuck off.
    Snob: See, something like that.
  • When Allan meets Maria and shows her the sketch of his perfect girl:
    Snob: Just jump into her cab and tell her this:
    Maria: Where did you get this?
    Allan: Who are you, where do you come from, and how many children do you want?
    Snob: (Double takes and shrugs) . . . SEEMS LEGIT!
  • "And while this Meet Cute is more of a Meet Creep, it's okay - he tracks her by finding her diaphragm and attempting to find her name and location by visiting her doctor! And yet, this is still less creepy than Kissing a Fool."
    Snob: I remember when I lured someone away by showing them their diaphragm. Ha, ha, I was maced!
  • "I've rarely seen a love interest hate the other character this much."
  • Snob states that Gerrit Graham is determined to turn the film from a Woody Allen knock-off into a Caligula knock-off.
  • Every other scene looks like Christopher Cross should start playing and the camera should pan over to show the ending credits of Arthur (1981).
  • Snobs claims that Allan wants to eat babies.
  • Some lines hit close to home for the Snob:
    Maria: Allan, I can't got to bed with you.
    Allan: Why?
    Maria: Because you're short and you're weird.
    Snob: Okay, now they're just ripping off lines from me and my wife's first date!
  • Snob points out how quickly Allan wants to marry Maria:
    Snob: I'm surprised the flashback to when he was a child didn't reveal that he's Ralph Wiggum falling in love over a Valentine's Day card!
  • Snob gets angry that at no point does Saul Rubinek use a bed as a rowing boat and feels that the movie's poster lied to him.

     Zardoz 
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     The Stand (2020) 

     Wrong Turn 
  • The film is set in West Virginia, which is where Brad's wife is from. Snob states that she assures him it is a documentary.
  • When a character points out that the film is like a little movie called Deliverance, Snob gets annoyed and states that it's his job to point out that the film is like a little movie called Deliverance.

     Edward Penishands 

     Godzilla Raids Again 

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