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Characters / Conker's Bad Fur Day

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Characters who appear in Conker's Bad Fur Day and its Xbox remake, Conker: Live & Reloaded.

Note: This page is currently under construction; any contributions are appreciated. Beware of unmarked spoilers.

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Main Characters

    Conker the Squirrel
A snarky and cynical squirrel who's trying to find a way back to his girlfriend Berry.
  • Adaptational Badass: In his appearances in Project Spark's game modes (outside of the Big Reunion pack), where he has a bottomless machine gun as a default weapon alongside his baseball bat, and he is able to summon the Context-Sensitive buttons at will, which allow him to use deadly moves like throwing a barrage of flaming cocktails everywhere.
  • Alcohol Hic: Lets one out when he tries to jump while drunk or hungover.
  • The Alcoholic: The entire game's plot kicks off because Conker got drunk and wandered off the wrong way, and drinking away his nights at the pub is apparently a regular occurrence.
  • All Men Are Perverts: Despite his relationship with Berri, he still tries to hit on other female characters, immediately helping the King Bee when he hears about the "big-breasted babe" and flirting with the cavewoman giantess Jugga. Also, one of his Idle Animations is pulling out and reading a porn magazine.
  • Anti-Hero: Of the nominal variety. His sole overarching motivation is to try and find his way back home, and whenever the various NPCs ask him for help, he will almost always ask "What's in it for me?" before he does it for them. He also has no qualms against killing people and using them to accomplish his goals. The only things that keep him from being a full-on Villain Protagonist are his genuine love for Berri, several Pet the Dog moments, and the fact that the people he encounters tend to be even worse.
  • Badass Adorable: A cute little squirrel who, among other things, ends up a bullfighter, a dinosaur tamer, a zombie slayer, and a war veteran by the end of the game.
  • Badass Longcoat: During the Matrix parody, as well as the Spooky chapter in the Xbox remake.
  • Badass Normal: Aside from using the Context Sensitive buttons and being able to hover with his tail, Conker is just a normal squirrel with a frying pan as his sole weapon in a world with giant stone gargoyles, Nazi Teddy bears and a giant mountain of singing poop.
  • Bad Butt: Despite the game's M rating, he's not allowed to use the F-word. He tries to working around it by saying phrases like "Eat lead, mother buzzer!" throughout the game.
  • Baleful Polymorph: Gets turned into a vampire bat by Count Batula during the Spooky chapter.
  • Batter Up!: His primary weapon after the tutorial chapter in Live and Reloaded is a nail-studded baseball bat.
  • Black-and-Gray Morality: Most of the people Conker encounters may be obnoxious jerks at best and genuine villains at worst, and he may be more tactful and level headed in contrast to them and have something resembling a conscience, but Conker himself is by no means a good person, with his goals and acts being entirely self serving, and he isn't above taking lives to accomplish his goals.
  • Catchphrase: He tends to exclaim "Oh, no!" quite a bit.
  • The Chew Toy: Nothing goes Conker's way. Ever. The whole game is about what he considers the worst day of his life for a reason.
  • Cigar Chomper: Constantly has a stogie in his mouth in the It's War chapter.
  • Cheshire Cat Grin: He does this in two of his idle animations, when he discovers wads of cash, waves goodbye to the Gargoyle as he meets his demise and when he gets drunk, really drunk.
  • Frying Pan of Doom: His primary weapon throughout the original game. In Live and Reloaded, he only uses it during the tutorial chapter.
  • Gosh Dang It to Heck!: Contrary to his reputation, Conker actually very rarely swears. Even when he does, Conker only says two swear words throughout the entire game: "bitch," and "ass."
  • Grass Is Greener: It's only after he becomes rich and powerful like he always wanted that he realizes that he had everything he wanted all along. Sadly, by the time he does, it's too late.
  • Greed: For a small red squirrel, Conker sure loves his money.
  • Guns Akimbo: In the original, he dual-wields machine guns during the It's War and Heist chapters. Averted in the remake, where he only uses one machine gun.
  • Half-Dressed Cartoon Animal: In the original, he only wore a blue zip-up hoodie and sneakers, but no pants. Averted in the remake, which gives him a pair of green shorts.
  • Hammerspace: He can literally pull whatever he needs at any specific moment out of his pockets.
  • Happiness Realized Too Late: While Conker's main goal is to get home, he also becomes obsessed with collecting as much money as he can on his travels. At the end of the game, he successfully collects one million dollars. Just as he begins to celebrate, the Panther King has Berri gunned down. After this, everybody decides to make Conker the new King with all the money in the world. However, Conker realizes he doesn't want any of it and wishes he could just be home with Berri, still saddened over losing her.
  • Heli-Critter: Can spin his tail to hover when he jumps.
  • Interspecies Romance: with Berri, considering she's apparently supposed to be a chipmunk.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Conker is far from a Nice Guy, but he is far better than many of the characters and has a few acts of kindness. He also does love Berri.
  • Master Swordsman: He finishes off Heinrich with a katana that was supplied by a programmer in exchange for keeping quiet about a Game-Breaking Bug.
  • Nominal Hero: His main motive in the game is to get home. That's it. He wouldn't care less if his adventure had gone on without his good deeds.
  • Only in It for the Money: Conker's secondary motivation throughout the game is cold hard cash. If someone offers him money in exchange for their aid, he'll instantly agree. If there's money just bouncing around and he has to kill something to get it, then he has no issues about it.
  • Only Sane Man: Conker is perfectly rational and level headed compared to how arrogant, stupid and crazy a lot of the people he meets are.
  • Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping: Conker constantly shifts between an American accent and a Chris Seavor's native East London one.
  • Pet the Dog: Yes, Conker is a borderline Villain Protagonist, but different moments throughout the game show that he's not entirely a bad guy.
    • At the beginning of the game, he doesn't hesitate to help the Queen Bee retrieve her hive, not once asking for a reward. Averted a bit later, where he initially refuses to help unless she pays him four times what she gave him last time, but it’s only because she's royalty.
    • When he gets sick of Ron and Reg's abuse and laughing at Franky, he stands up for the pitchfork by shoving Reg into Ron's mouth.
    • After the fight with the Haybot, he also repairs Franky after he's snapped in half. Like with the Queen Bee, he does so without asking for anything in return.
    • During the It's War chapter, he saves Rodent from execution at the hands of the Tediz, and later honors him when he believes he was killed by the Experiment.
  • Pinball Protagonist: Conker is not a hero, just a pragmatic protagonist who gets caught up in a bunch of random escapades that are often out of his control as he tries to get home. He doesn't even have a clue that there's any overarching plot going on due to the Panther King.
  • Pragmatic Hero: Conker couldn't give a rat's ass about whats going on around him unless there's money involved. He just wants to get home, get smashed, and let the world solve its own problems.
  • Red Is Heroic: Sort of. He's a red squirrel, and the Anti-Hero of the game. Part of the conflict in the game is about the King Panther wanting Conker as a replacement leg for a table. Apparently only a red squirrel will do. In addition, him being red is the reason why he can revive if he collects tails; normal grey squirrels just die and go on to the afterlife regardless. Greg the Grim Reaper hates Conker for this.
  • Red Shirt: Averted, being a red squirrel is the In-Universe Handwave for the lives system.
  • Tiny Guy, Huge Girl: The Tiny Guy to Berri's Huge Girl; he comes up to her thighs.
  • Troubling Unchildlike Behavior: While Nintendo stated repeatedly in promotional material that Conker is 21 years old, Chris Seavor is adamant that Conker was a child in the original game, with the scrapped sequel aging him up to 17-18. So Conker is a preteen who smokes cigars, regularly drinks himself into a coma, lusts after pretty girls, and has no qualms against outright murder to get a few measly wads of money.
  • Urine Trouble: When drunk, he actually pees on his enemies.
  • Vomit Indiscretion Shot: He throws up near the monk while he is drunk or hungover when leaving the pub, then vomits over the smell of Marvin's farts and burps, then vomits when he is hungover and has to pee on the imps while drunk.
  • Weirdness Magnet: Wherever Conker goes, a silly event is bound to happen, even if the event makes no sense. By halfway through the game he's pretty aware about it and is exasperated by his bad luck.
  • What Did I Do Last Night?: He somehow wanders from the bar to the place where he meets Birdy the Scarecrow after a night of heavy binge drinking, and spends the rest of the game trying to get home.
  • Would Hurt a Child: In the "Sacrifice" segment of "Uga-Buga", he had no reservations about sacrificing a baby dinosaur solely to access some cash.

Conker's attractive chipmunk girlfriend. She's kidnapped by the Rock people and later joins the Weasel Mafia.
  • Action Girl: In the Heist chapter, she joins Conker in storming the bank and kills as many guards as he does.
  • Art Evolution: In Conker's Pocket Tales and beta footage of Twelve Tales, she's a short brown chipmunk with brown hair. Come Conker's Bad Fur Day, she's now a tall grey chipmunk with blonde hair.
  • Bare Your Midriff: Her character design in Conker's Bad Fur Day has her wearing what looks to be either a sports bra or a crop top and booty shorts, letting her midriff show off.
  • Captain Ersatz: Berri in Conker's Bad Fur Day serves as an obvious one to Lola Bunny; an attractive athlete wearing booty shorts and a crop top that exposes her midriff, with the only differences being Berri's gray fur and blonde Furry Female Mane.
  • Deader Than Dead: She's mowed down with a tommy gun, and then sucked out of an airlock into outer space.
  • Died in Your Arms Tonight: She dies in Conker's arms after being gunned down by Don Weaso.
  • Distressed Damsel: She's kidnapped by the rock monsters during the Uga Buga chapter and forced to work at their night club. In an entertaining twist, Conker never finds this out, as he's too busy trying to get home.
  • Fanservice Pack: In Conker's Pocket Tales, she was much up to Conker's Distaff Counterpart and had the same length. In this game, she's a Ms. Fanservice with a much curvier figure.
  • Flat Character: There's not much depth to her character but being Conker's girlfriend who's fond of aerobics and annoyed at his drunken ways. The scrapped sequel would've shown more of her, courtesy of her being the Big Bad.
  • Killed Off for Real: Since Conker forgets to ask the game's programmers to revive her when he is inside the debug mode, and due to Gregg's reluctance to revive cats and squirrels due to their in-game life system (as it makes his job as a Grim Reaper harder, thus making a rare exception with Conker as he's the game's protagonist), Berri is unable to return to life, so her death is permanent.
  • The Lost Lenore: Conker has everything he ever wanted. Power, Money and no longer want for any materialistic value in life. Except since he wasn't able to the convince the Game Programmers to bring her back to life, when he was blackmailing them, he's without the thing he needed, Berri, the love of his life.
  • Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping: Can sometimes slither into a British accent.
  • Satellite Love Interest: All that's established about her is that she's Conker's girlfriend.
  • Tiny Guy, Huge Girl: The Huge Girl to Conker's Tiny Guy; he comes up to her thighs.
  • Valley Girl: Both her accent and personality fit the bill.

    Panther King 
The current monarch of the Kingdom. A selfish and tyrannical individual obsessed with finding a way to fix the table where he places his milk glass.
  • 0% Approval Rating: When he's killed at the end of the game, everyone, including his guards, rejoices.
  • All Myths Are True: Conker initially believed him to only exist in fairy tales.
  • Bait-and-Switch Boss: The player doesn't fight him in the end; instead, they fight a Xenomorph that bursts out of his chest.
  • Big Bad: If only from a nominal standpoint, since Ze Professor wants Conker because this guy needs a new leg for his table. He doesn't really do much to warrant his villain credibility, though.
  • Cats Are Mean: He's an evil panther.
  • Deader Than Dead: Killed by a Chest Burster, then his corpse is Thrown Out the Airlock into space.
  • Evil Sounds Deep: He has a very deep, growly voice.
  • King Koopa Copy: Parodied. He obviously looks and sounds the part, but is hopelessly incompetent and manchildish, and never actively opposes Conker until the end of the game.
  • Noodle Incident: He apparently did something involving duct tape, to the point that Ze Professor and his guards do not want the Panther King to have to get it out again.
  • Orcus on His Throne: His guards do all the work for him.
  • Rich in Dollars, Poor in Sense: He's a rich and powerful king, but he's so stupid that he has to have a scientist specifically tell him that his side table is clearly missing a leg (with a chart), which is why he keeps spilling his milk. And instead of just getting a new table, he goes along with the scientist's suggestion of kidnapping a squirrel to use an impromptu table leg.
  • Stupid Evil: He has no real evil plan; he just wants a new table leg so he can drink his milk without spilling it, and for some reason, he concludes that only Conker will do.
  • The Unfought: He dies when the real Final Boss is revealed.

    Ze Professor/Professor Von Kriplespac 
An old enemy-turned-servant of the Panther King and the Creator of the Tediz Army.
  • An Arm and a Leg: His legs are nothing but stumps, and his left arm has been replaced with a cybernetic one.
  • Artificial Limbs: He has a robotic left arm and eye.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: Does one in one of his first scenes in the game.
  • The Dog Bites Back: After suffering years of abuse from Panther King (and possibly getting his legs ripped off by the panther), he tricks the Panther King into ingesting a Xenomorph egg that eventually bursts out of his chest.
  • Dragon-in-Chief: He's a much bigger threat than the Panther King.
  • Greater-Scope Villain: For the overall plot (such as it is), as he is the one that pushes the Panther King into sending his guards after Conker. He's also this for the "It's War" chapter. He's responsible for creating the chapter's villains, the Teddies, as well as possibly the Little Girl/Experiment. He's also the one behind the game's final boss, Heinrich.
  • Herr Doktor: He has the accent of a German scientist.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: For some odd reason, he takes the vault room into space after his alien kills the Fairy Panther King. Conker opens up an airlock which winds up sucking him out into space. He even lampshades how stupid of an idea it was of him and why he didn't have a device on his chair to keep him tethered.
  • Mad Scientist: After all, he was the one creating the Tediz and planting an alien egg inside of the Panther King.
  • Multiple-Choice Past: How he lost his legs. The N64 manual states that his legs were chopped off by the Panther King, while the multiplayer mode of Live and Reloaded shows that his legs were blown off by a bazooka-wielding SHC soldier.
  • No Name Given: He was simply known as "Ze Professor" until Live and Reloaded.
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot: In one of his first scenes he does a Cluster F-Bomb about how much he hates Panther King.
  • Super Wheelchair: He uses a hover-chair to get around.
  • The Starscream: Supposedly, he obviously doesn't like working under the Panther King but does so out of fear. Though not above talking behind his back and plotting his downfall. Considering later it's revealed he was the creator of the Tediz, it's likely he was planning a coup to take over the land.
  • Too Dumb to Live: You'd think he'd have some way of keeping himself in his chair when heading into space. Hell, he doesn't even have a particular reason to head into space, and gets Thrown Out the Airlock for it.
  • The Unfought: After the death of the Panther King and the reveal of Heinrich, it appears like Conker will have to deal with Ze Professor even after he defeats his alien pet. But once Conker equips with the space suit, the air escaping to space grabs the scientist away, with him unable to stay in the vessel for too long.
    No legs, and now NO LIFE!
  • Wicked Weasel: He's a Mad Scientist weasel.

    Don Weaso 

  • Bad Boss: Weaso murders one of his Mooks after he disrespects him in some way. This also extends to the Heist multiplayer mode, where he'll have his lackeys killed via Cement Shoes if they fail.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: Violently beats one of his lackeys to death for doing something to disrespect him.
  • The Don: A Mafia head.
  • Expy: Of Don Vito Corleone from The Godfather. Both are the leaders of Mafia crime families. Weaso even speaks in a voice similar to Marlon Brando's portrayal of Vito.
  • Hero Killer: Guns down Berri when they mouth off to the Panther King.
  • Karma Houdini: Gets no comeuppance for killing Berri, escaping without a scratch. The sequel would've given him a proper punishment where the Panther King (with Gregg's aid) sets him up to be killed by Conker in a scheme to ensure the squirrel's own death.
  • An Offer You Can't Refuse: Twice, first time since Conker stole his money, he sends him on a suicide mission to repay him. If Conker lived, he could go free as long as he was out of Weaso's territory. If he died, then meh, no biggie. Conker manages to survive, but just as he's about to head home after the War Chapter, he runs into Weaso again who strongarms him into doing a bank heist though it's really a ploy to bring Conker to the Panther King.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: Once he sees the xenomorph bust out of the Panther King, he decides to make himself scarce.
  • Sinister Shades: He's a ruthless mob boss that's never seen without his shades.
  • Vile Villain, Saccharine Show: While Conker's Bad Fur Day isn't exactly upbeat, it's still a comedic game. Unlike the game's other villains however, Weaso is played dead seriously. Not only is his brutal murder of one of his Mooks not played for laughs, but he guns down Berri in cold blood; effectively making him the one responsible for the game's Downer Ending.
  • Wicked Weasel: A weasel who isn't above slaughtering one of his own men right in front of Conker, using Conker to dispose of an entire race, or murdering someone who had previously worked for him.


    Wayne and the Wankas 

  • Call a Rabbit a "Smeerp": They're wasps, but they're named Wankas.
  • Escape Sequence: In both the first encounter and in the last phase of the second, Conker has to retrieve the Queen Bee's hive and take it back to her while dodging the stings of Wayne and the two Wankas assisting him.
  • Expy: To the Zingers from the Donkey Kong Country series and, to a lesser extent, the Zubbas from Banjo-Kazooie, both because of their facial expressions and all of them being enemies.
  • Moral Myopia: They're furious when Conker steals their "nice new hive"... the same hive they stole from the Queen Bee in the first place.
  • Punny Name: The Wankas are some real wankers.
  • Unexplained Recovery: Despite Mrs. Queen Bee gunning them down early in the game, they somehow make a return later in the game.
  • Wicked Wasps: Unlike the friendlier bees governed by the Queen Bee, the Wankas aren't friendly in any way; they're group of evil wasps who terrorize the Queen Bee and steal her hive away.
  • Wolfpack Boss: Though Conker only has to escape from Wayne and two Wankas with the stolen hive when he first meets them, in the rematch he first has to storm their colony and exterminate all other wasps (the in-game total is 36). Only then can Conker take the Queen Bee's hive and take it back to her while dodging the stings of the angry wasp trio.


  • An Arm and a Leg: Each hit in the second part of the battle involves taking away one of his arms.
  • Attack Its Weak Point: The red button on its back in the second phase (in the first, any part of its body can be hit by Franky). It can only be approached and pressed while the boss is stunned via water, though.
  • Didn't Need Those Anyway!: During the second phase, Haybot loses parts of its body as Conker and Franky continue pressing the red button behind its body. When Haybot is complete, it attacks by squashing the characters with both hands. When one of those hands is gone, it attacks by seizing them and then throwing them away. With both hands gone, it squashed again the characters, but with its own metallic base. With the rest of the body gone, the boss is simply defeated.
  • King Mook: To the living haystacks, at least in external appearance. Unlike its smaller relatives, it's actually a robot on the inside.
  • Missile Lock-On: In addition to the various melee attacks it can do, it's equipped with Suzie 9mm missiles, and shoots two of them at a time to attack Conker and Franky. But when one of these missiles breaks a water pipe, the duo can lure the boss into the leaking water to electrocute him.
  • Robotic Reveal: After attacking it enough during the fight. It will burn after each hit, until a part of him finally burns away to reveal parts of a robotic body underneath. The hay burns away entirely at the end of the first phase.
  • Shout-Out: To The Terminator's T-800, due to its robotic appearance, its cussing program and its accent. Also, its theme and the battle music in the second phase are inspired by the music in Terminator 2: Judgment Day.
  • Terminator Impersonator: He's if the T-800 was posing as a haystack instead of a human.

    The Big Big Guy 

  • Attack Its Weak Point: The Brass Balls, though they can only be hit after Conker stuns the boss with the excrements that flow in the pipes.
  • Flunky Boss: Inverted. The fiery devil imps are the ones controlling him. And prior to the boss battle, Conker first has to kill several of them (at least 8) by extinguishing them with his urine while he's drunk.
  • Groin Attack: Conker hits him in his brass balls (and uses a pair of red bricks in the process). And he has to do it four times.
  • Playing with Fire: Being a living boiler, it can expel a large body of fire towards Conker, as if it was a flamethrower.

    The Great Mighty Poo
I am the Great Mighty Poo/ And I'm going to throw my shit at you...

A literal living enormous pile of shit. That sings. It Makes Just as Much Sense in Context...

  • Ass Shove: At one point during his boss battle, he threatens Conker with ramming his head up his butt.
  • Attack Its Weak Point: His mouth. When he starts singing in-battle, Conker has to throw a toilet paper roll at his mouth. And he has to do it six times.
  • Big "NO!": Gives several of these when being flushed.
  • Boss Arena Idiocy: He's not actually damaged by the toilet paper, he just gets mad enough to sing at progressively higher pitches... which reveals the flushing lever for his lair. He lives on a giant toilet, and if he was anywhere else, Conker wouldn't be able to defeat him.
  • Dung Fu: Unsurprisingly, he attacks by throwing poop at Conker.
  • Evil Brit: He has an English accent.
  • Evil Sounds Deep: He sings with a deep, baritone voice.
  • Fun with Flushing: Since toilet paper is not enough to take down a big poo monster, Conker ultimately defeats him by pulling the flushing lever.
  • Glass-Shattering Sound: His voice shatters a glass pane that was blocking the way to the flushing lever, which is his only weakness.
  • Large Ham: He behaves like an opera singer, and he's doing vocal warm-ups when you first meet him.
  • Mickey Mousing: The entire boss battle is played as a musical number.
  • Shout-Out: As he's being flushed, his dialogue is a dead ringer for the Wicked Witch of the West.
    The Great Mighty Poo: "Ah! You cursed squirrel! Look what you've done. I'm flushing! I'm flushing! Oh, what a world, what a world. Who'd have thought a good little squirrel like you could have destroyed my beautiful clagginess. I'm going! Aahh... No!"
  • Singing Voice Dissonance: The Great Mighty Poo's speaking voice and singing voice sound completely different. This was averted in the Xbox remake.
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot: His song is quite full of profanities. Given the fact he's a giant disgusting monster made of feces his language couldn't be otherwise.
  • Talking Poo: Singing poo.
  • Toilet Humor: Being a crappy monster, he runs on this before, during and after the battle.
  • Turns Red: After you Attack Its Weak Point three times, the music accelerates, and he starts attacking faster as well as exposing himself less. He even says himself at the beginning of the phase that he's "really getting rather mad".
  • Trademark Favorite Food: Sweet corn. Heck, he even says it's the only thing that makes it through his rear.
  • Villain Song: "The Great Mighty Poo" obviously. Also doubles as an "I Am" Song.

    Buga the Knut 

  • Attack Its Weak Point: First his "small bone" via a ballistic T-rex Groin Attack, and immediately having the T-rex chomp his butt.
  • Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever: For whatever reason, he and his girlfriend are huge compared to the other Uga Bugas.
  • Bad with the Bone: His primary weapon is his giant bone... the club he has in his hands, mind you. Conker and his dinosaur friend need to hit him in the instant he's lifting the bone to prepare an attack.
  • Compensating for Something: He wields a literal giant bone as a weapon, which is tied to his "small bone" that eventually leads to his defeat.
  • Defeat by Modesty: Buga's made open to attack by making his loincloth fall down, causing him to cover his crotch from the crowd and leaving him wide open for a chomping. He's beaten after having so much of his butt bitten off of his body that his loincloth fails to stay up, forcing him to retreat in shame of his "small bone."
  • Dumb Muscle: Being a giant caveman who's incredibly strong, it's kind of a given he's not very bright to compensate. He does catch on quickly to what Conker's trying to do during his boss fight, and trying to hit him at the wrong times causes Buga to block the T-rex and do a Finger Wag.
  • Fat Bastard: Big Boner is a jerk, and it only takes his own girlfriend mocking him by suggesting that the squirrel's... eh, "bone" is bigger than Buga's to make the caveman want to kill Conker.
  • Ground Pound: His only ranged attack is this, which sends massive shockwaves through the arena that can damage Conker and his mount if they don't jump over it.
  • King Mook: To the various other cavemen Conker comes across, being far larger than them and apparently the ruler of the cavemen.
  • Mighty Glacier: Buga's the slowest boss of the game by far, incapable of running or moving beyond a slow walk. He can also smash Conker and his dinosaur buddy clear across the arena with one swing, and Conker getting hit by the club while on foot probably means he's now paste.
  • Teeny Weenie: He has a tiny penis, and he's pretty embarrassed about it, too. Jugga even goes so far to insinuate that the much smaller Conker has a bigger one than Buga.
  • Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: Buga's a Fat Bastard with a gonky face, but he's dating the incredibly attractive Jugga.

    Count Batula 
A squirrel vampire and an ancestor of Conker. He reveals that Conker is a direct descendant of the usurped squirrel monarchy.
  • Asshole Victim: He may suffer due to the persistent invasion of the villagers who want to kill him, but his attitude towards Conker isn't really doing much to make him believe he's a good guy (and it's evident he isn't anyway).
  • Bat Out of Hell: He's an evil vampire squirrel who can transform into a giant, black bat.
  • Dark and Troubled Past: Batula reveals that his lineage dates far back from an era when squirrels and panthers were allied, but the alliance was short-lived. By the events of the game, the current king in charge is the Panther King, while Batula has had to continue living in his wrecked mansion during the last few centuries.
  • Death by Gluttony: He drinks so much blood from the villagers that he becomes too heavy for his swing, resulting in him falling into and pulped by his own meat grinder.
    Batula: I think I've drunk too much! (his swing's ropes snap, causing him to fall) Oh... shiiiii- (falls into his own meat grinder)
  • Fat Bastard: It's not readily apparent, but he's not invoking Large and in Charge as Conker does his assigned task. He becomes bloated off the excess blood he's been consuming and swelling to a gargantuan size. It costs him his life.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: He's ultimately killed from drinking too much blood and falling into his own machine.
  • Karmic Death: He could've avoided the meat grinder if he hadn't hung directly above it. In his thirst for blood, he's killed by drinking too much of it, provided by someone who is of his own bloodline.
  • Puzzle Boss: Unlike the other bosses in the game, Batula isn't fought directly, specifically because he turns Conker into a thrall that can't attack him. He transforms Conker into a bat and orders him to lure as many villagers (the ones who do attack the latter with crossbows) to the meat grinder as he can so their blood can feed the Count. This is indeed how he's killed, because after drinking the blood of seven villagers he raises his weight so much that the rope keeping him upside down snaps.
  • Shout-Out: To Count Dracula, naturally (specifically the one played by Gary Oldman). Though the way he's killed is very different.
  • Too Dumb to Live: Batula really should have set up his grinder in such a way that didn't involve him hanging directly over it.
  • Vile Villain, Saccharine Show: The game starts out goofy and rife with Black Comedy... until the Spooky chapter. If the zombies leading up to him weren't enough of an indication, the entire sequence with Batula, in which Conker is turned into a vampire bat and forced to juice innocent people in a meat grinder for the Count to feed on, is a sign that the game is going to be Darker and Edgier from here on out.
  • Villainous Glutton: He has a titanic grinder trap hooked up to pumps beneath his perch for the sole purpose of getting as much blood from his victims as possible without moving. It leads to his quite literal downfall as his sedentary lifestyle, coupled with his gluttony, causes him to put on enough weight to break his perch and send him tumbling into his own grinder.
  • Vampire Vords: Talks like this, to complement his image.

    Little Girl/the Experiment 
A disturbing Teddyz experiment composed of a giant cyborg Teddy with a little squirrel girl as his hand and brain.
  • Attack Its Weak Point: The Little Girl herself for the Experiment (who can only be shot when the current superweapon being used is dismantled/disabled), and the Experiment's red button in his back (which can only be hit when it tries to seize the Little Girl after she's hit).
  • Badass and Child Duo: A slightly unusual example, since both the badass and the child are fused into a single grotesque creature.
  • Brains and Brawn: The Little Girl directly calls herself and the Experiment this. One has eyes and a brain, the other has legs and various weapons of mass destruction. Guess which is which.
  • BFG: This is the first superweapon the Experiment uses. It shoots a very concentrated amount of bullets until it stops to reload. It's during this brief time that Conker (who is driving a tank along with Rodent) has to shoot the weapon's two cannons.
  • Came Back Wrong: Chris Seavor said on his Twitter that the girl is the reanimated corpse of a young squirrel girl, obviously killed by the Tediz and used as part of an experiment. When they brought her back, they obviously made her far nastier than her original self.
  • Chainsaw Good: During the start of the battle, before Conker returns to the tank, the Experiment attacks with a large round chainsaw. It's an One-Hit Kill attack.
  • Cross-Dressing Voices: According to Word of God, the Little Girl is voiced by Chris Seavor.
  • Decoy Damsel: The little girl tries to pass herself off as an ordinary little girl needing help, in order to lure in Conker before trying to kill him and Rodent.
  • Energy Weapon: They're the second superweapon used. The two cannons shoot a cream-colored laser beam that converge to a common target, in this case the tank where Conker and Rodent are. Unlike the bullet and missile cannons, these never stop firing, meaning that they can only be hit when the squirrel duo does a maneuver that allows them to gain terrain and shoot the cannons before the lasers hit them.
  • Enfant Terrible: She isn't an ordinary little girl any more, and she no longer needs help after becoming the controller of a fused weapon of war.
  • Eyeless Face: The Experiment appears to have its eyelids stitched together for some reason. As a result, it completetely depends on the Little Girl directing its movements.
  • Girlish Pigtails: They're the only girly aspect of the Little Girl. She's otherwise a vicious killer.
  • Hand Puppet: The Girl is this to The Experiment. She's the brains and the eyes.
  • Lone Wolf Boss: Inverted, as they are the only boss truly associated with the Panther King.
  • King Mook: To the numerous Tediz that needed to be gunned down over the course of the War chapter.
  • Macross Missile Massacre: The third and final superweapon used. Each of the two cannons can release up to four missiles at a time, one after another. When eight missiles are fired between the two, Conker and Rodent have a brief period of time to shoot the cannons to destroy them.
  • Shout-Out: When the Little Girl starts showing Conker she's actually evil, she makes her head turn around completely like in an iconic scene from The Exorcist. She even asks Conker "do you know what your [fucking] daughter did?", though Conker quickly points out that he doesn't have a daughter.
  • Spider Tank: How The Experiment ambulates.
  • Troubling Unchildlike Behavior: Well, knowledge more than behavior - she seems to know a lot more about weapons than anyone her age should. She also starts swearing like a sailor when she gets angry or removed from the Experiment, and then immediately damps down on the outburst and chastises herself to "keep calm".
  • Two Beings, One Body: The Girl and Experiment seem to be individuals who were attached together, probably due to Kriplespac.
  • Was Once a Man: Implied. "Oh Mr. Squirrel. I haven't been a little girl in a long time."

A not-a-Xenomorph-please-don't-sue-us genetically-created alien monster created by Ze Professor.

Other Characters

    The Weasel Throne Guards 

  • Bare Your Midriff: In a not so Fanservice-y example, the chubby guard, Bob. He's too fat for the uniform shirt to fit him.
  • Fat and Skinny: Of course they had to differentiate the two somehow, right down to the fat one being a slob stereotype.
  • Heel–Face Turn: Not that they could really ever have been called evil to begin with, but they crown the exact guy they've been hunting down the entire game king and even cheer for him.
  • No Name Given: Although they have a fairly large role in the game, they're some of the very few characters who've been nameless in the public eye. That is, until a fan asked Chris Seavor if they had names.
  • Punch-Clock Villain: They hunt down Conker with no given animosity against him or desire to do so. They're just doing it to appease their brutal king. It gets to the point where they're relieved when said king is killed.
  • Those Two Guys: They're a duo of less-than-enthusiastic lackeys working for the Panther King who are always together when seen and have opposite body types. They also lack much personality aside from Bill being somewhat proper, yet dim-witted and Bob being vulgar and noticeably sharper than Bill.
  • Wicked Weasel: Subverted. They're designated bad guys at first, but only until the Panther King dies. When the Panther King is found to have been killed, they declare that they hated him anyway and are the ones who decide that Conker should take his place. And given the roles of all the other weasels in the game, they're the least bad.


  • Alcohol Hic: Occasionally in his speech.
  • The Alcoholic: Probably moreso than Conker himself, as he accepts drinks from Conker and is already drunk when he debuts, and remains drunk for the rest of the game.
  • He Knows About Timed Hits: Birdy is the one to introduce a small tutorial that shows the player how the Context Sensitive pads work by Breaking the Fourth Wall.
    Birdy: You see those buttons... Actually, you'll find that, eh, they're called Context Sensitive. And, eh, well, actually, they, eh... Press B.
    Conker: Press B?
    Birdy: Oh, yeh. The light comes on and makes this noise: "ting!" Ting noise... (lightbulb pops up) That's it.
    Conker: That's it?
    Birdy: Yeh.
    Conker: Okay, I'll press B.
  • Meaningful Name: He's called "Birdy" because he's a scarecrow meant to scare crows away.
  • Mythology Gag: Birdy is based off a programmer at Rare at the time who was nicknamed "Beardy" and loved to drink Pepsi-Max.


  • Broken Bridge: The bridge itself is fine, mind you. But as a guard in his position, the Gargoyle won't let Conker in, so the squirrel will have to come later with a weapon.
  • Dies Differently in Adaptation: While he loses his footing upon being hit with the frying pan in the original game, he doesn't in Live & Reloaded. Instead, after some Lampshade Hanging, Conker hits him with a baseball bat, and he instead falls over and gets Squashed Flat by a boulder.
  • Foregone Victory: You can't lose against him, since you're invincible during the training level.

    Mrs. Queen Bee 

  • Dropped a Bridge on Him: She's crushed to death off-screen by a falling piece of the windmill after it's destroyed by Rodent.
  • Impoverished Patrician: She seems to have fallen on hard times since her husband left, as she has nothing even vaguely resembling a kingdom or castle besides the hive that keeps getting stolen... that being said, the hive is an anti-air emplacement.
  • Your Makeup Is Running: Her model in Conker: Live & Reloaded gives her messy lipstick and mascara, since she's constantly sobbing until her hive's returned.

    Gregg the Grim Reaper 


  • Big Eater: Wants nothing more than a few large chucks of cheese, which ultimately causes his demise.
  • Disney Death: Not until the very end of the game is it revealed that exploding into little mousy bits didn't actually kill him. All he needed was to be completely sewn back together.
  • Gasshole: His burps and farts smell bad enough to make Conker vomit.
  • "Pop!" Goes the Human: After Conker feeds him three pieces of cheese, Marvin swells up due to excessive gas, and then explodes.


  • Ambiguously Gay: Makes suggestive comments at Conker when he's chasing him in the barn. Although Chris Seavor has revealed that Franky actually is gay during his director's commentary on YouTube, there is no reference to this fact in the game.
  • Animate Inanimate Object: Notably, Conker's surprised to run into him because he's alive. "Well, I never! It's a talking pitchfork!"
  • Badass Adorable: After quite the admittedly heartwarming cutscene of Franky thanking Conker for cutting him down, he helps Conker through the first boss battle by allowing Conker to ride him.
  • Break the Cutie: Although he was Conker's enemy at that point, it's still a little hard to watch Ron and Reg tell Franky to kill himself.
  • Bungled Suicide: He attempts to hang himself, but it ultimately doesn't work because he "doesn't have a neck of any description."
  • Deep South: He speaks with a Southern accent.
  • Driven to Suicide: Although it doesn't work because he has no neck to speak of.
  • Good Ol' Boy: Speaks with a very stereotypical redneck accent and uses words in a way specially written to make him sound like someone from the Deep South.
  • Mini-Boss: He challenges Conker when the latter enters the farmhouse. He calls it quits when his charging attacks end up killing the living haystack supplies instead.
  • Nice Guy: Once Conker cuts him down from his failed hanging attempt, Franky becomes very helpful to Conker and even declares that Conker is now is "bestest friend in the whole wide world."

    Ron and Reg 

  • Animate Inanimate Object: Ron the talking paint can and his paint brush friend, Reg.
  • The Bully: They call Franky names, provoke him to fight Conker although he's unwilling, and even convince him to commit suicide knowing it won't work, just so they can laugh at him.
  • Dirty Coward: They refuse to fight Conker themselves and use the fact that they're a paint pot and brush respectively as excuses. Later, when Haybot appears, they cling to one another and shudder.
  • Oh, Crap!: They have a horrified reaction when the Haybot appears after Franky's failed suicide attempt.
  • Shout-Out: They're named after Ronnie and Reggie Kray, the infamously brutal London gangsters known collectively as the Kray Twins.
  • Those Two Guys: They're never seen apart and are just there to be mean-spirited and annoying.

    Mr. King Bee 

  • All Men Are Perverts: He's fallen for the Sunflower for no other reason than her big breasts, and he seems to find his former wife unattractive.
  • Riches to Rags: After Mrs. Queen Bee kicked him out for cheating on her, he's been reduced to the status of a bum.


  • Buxom Is Better: Mr. Bee first refers to her as the "big-breasted babe", and prefers her over the Queen Bee for this reason.
  • Friendly Tickle Torture: How Conker gets to reveal her breasts, via using bees.
  • The Gadfly: It's clear that she's teasing Conker during their first meeting, and seems somewhat put out that he doesn't try to tease her back.
    Sunflower: Go away! Ooh, that big tail of yours is far too tickly. (*giggles*)
    Conker: No, no, you don't understand. He-
    Sunflower: Get that big, long, hairy tail away from me! (*giggles*)
    Conker: Ah! Suit yourself, then.
    Sunflower: Hhm. Be like that.
  • Gag Boobs: Rather well known for this.
  • Gainaxing: Her "stigmas" move constantly due to her swaying motions. She will even shake them occasionally for more bounce.
  • Impossible Hourglass Figure: A rare plant version. She's practically almost a stick figure with only a meager-sized stem supporting her.
  • Ms. Fanservice: She's a very attractive and curvaceous sunflower.
  • No Name Given: Known only as the Sunflower, although she does have various nicknames.
  • Non-Mammal Mammaries: As the King Bee says, she's a sunflower with big breasts... somehow.
  • Springs, Springs Everywhere: Her boobs basically act as a trampoline, allowing Conker to reach a normally impossible ledge to land on which also happens to house a wad of cash. She giggles whenever he happens to bounce on them too.

    Bugger Lugs and the Cows 

  • Bullfight Boss: As expected, Lugs is a bull whose primary attack is to charge at Conker. Bonus points for Spanish music playing and the game going "Ole!" every time Conker dodges one of his attacks.
  • Bull Seeing Red: Being a stereotypical bull, Lugs hates the color red. Conker just so happens to be a red squirrel (or light orange on the Xbox remake).
  • Expy: To Bigbutt from Banjo-Kazooie, both because of the looks and because both are immune to direct attacks.
  • Puzzle Boss: For a Mini-Boss that appears midway through the Poo Cabin segment of the Windy chapter, the strategy to defeat him is surprisingly complex.note . When no cow is left alive, Lugs will be left lingering in regret above the grate, which will break due to his weight; he dies when he drowns within the now-flooded Cabin (flooded with cow excrement).
  • Shout-Out: At the end of the battle, Luggs makes a reference to Fat Bastard from the Austin Powers film series when he's talking about his weight. He doesn't complete the dialogue because the grate breaks, killing him when he drowns.


  • Cats Have Nine Lives: Despite being fish, this rule applies to them, which is why they come back despite being devoured by the Dogfish in a previous scene.
  • Know When to Fold 'Em: When Conker decides to keep their (decidedly small) savings instead of giving it to them like agreed, the leader tries to demand it back... until she sees the Dogfish is about to break loose. She wisely decides to just let Conker keep the money and make herself and her entourage scarce before there's too many casualties.
  • Purely Aesthetic Glasses: The leader of the group wears a pair of yellow glasses that have no lenses in them, likely to make herself look more sophisticated.
  • Rich People: They seem to be, as they act like they are and claim to be "blue-blooded"... and then it turns out they're not rich at all.


  • Angry Guard Dog: Behaves just like any guard dog combined with the swimming abilities of a Shark.
  • The Brute: The Catfish call him such, and for good reason. He threatens anyone who draw near him by barking and snarling at them when he's tied to the center of the lake. When released, he devours anyone in sight instantly.
  • Mix-and-Match Critters: Brute is a hybrid of both a Bulldog & a Shark, it seems to be based on a species of freshwater shark called the "Bullshark" could refer to both his behavior & species.
  • The Unfought: Despite being a boss, Brute can't be killed by Conker in any way.
  • Threatening Shark: Combined with a Bulldog head, it's shown to kill Catfish & harm Conker just like any Shark species.


    Fire Imps 

  • Expy: Their imp-like appearance, as well as mischievous behavior, make them this game's equivalent to the Hotheads from Banjo-Tooie. Both games were developed by Rare, which explains the similarities.
  • Mini-Boss: Upon seeing Conker and his tempting fur, they continuously aim to bully him while he's drunk. It bites them in the ass when Conker starts killing them with his own urine, transforming a fairly simple Wolfpack Boss battle into a more complex fight as they get into the Big Big Guy.
  • Playing with Fire: They are fire imps, after all!
  • Wolfpack Boss: Conker has to defeat 8 of them with his urine so they stop harassing him... on foot (they summon the Big Big Guy in retaliation).

    The Ugas 

  • All Cavemen Were Neanderthals: Averted. They're actually about as short as Conker and aren't particularly muscular.
  • Bad with the Bone: Most of them use bones as weapons.
  • Nemean Skinning: They wear the heads of vaguely saber-toothed tiger-looking creatures on their heads. Conker befriends a few of them by mimicking this.
  • The Unintelligible: They speak pure gibberish.
  • Wolfpack Boss: Buga the Knut orders several Uga Bugas to dispatch Conker when the latter arrives the colosseum. When the squirrel manages to tame Fangy, he feeds him with the bodies of the now-horrified Ugas. Once a minimum total of 24 Ugas are eaten, and Jugga starts rooting for Conker (even saying he has a "bigger bone"), Buga is so furious that he enters the fray to confront Conker by himself. Very bad idea.

    Bloopie the Baby Dinosaur 

  • Big Eater: He'll eat all of the Ugas standing in Conker's way or trying to attack Conker, giving him quite the (temporary) advantage.
  • Death of a Child: You need to kill him in order to proceed.


  • Big Eater: Can eat the Ugas Conker faces off against, but is not limited to doing so. Eats chunks of Buga's rear as well.
    Conker: I know you're not a vegetarian, but I think you should go for the meat and two veg. Looks like he needs a bit of tenderizing, though. You know what I mean?
    Fangy: (*nods*)
  • Everything's Better with Dinosaurs: Conker tames this raptor and eventually befriends it, which helps him defeat Buga the Knut.


  • Buxom Is Better: The main reason why Conker tries to flirt with her is because she has large breasts.
  • Giant Woman: For some reason, she and Buga are massive compared to the other Uga-Bugas.
  • Insecure Love Interest: She's sure that a relationship with Conker will not work out and that he'll break her heart, so she ultimately turns down his advances.
  • Meaningful Name: Take a wild guess why her name is "Jugga".
  • Ms. Fanservice: She and the Sunflower seem to be popular among fanartists for the same reason.
  • Nubile Savage: Definitely, though she's much larger than most examples.
  • Statuesque Stunner: She's a giant, but that doesn't stop Conker.
  • Tiny Guy, Huge Girl: Exaggerated, as Conker could fit in the palm of her hand (he doesn't even go up to her ankle) and he still tries to hit on her anyway.
  • Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: Far more attractive than her boyfriend Buga.
  • The Unintelligible: Her voice-acted speech is gibberish, but the speech bubbles translate it.
  • Unrequited Love: She really thinks Conker is cute, but ultimately turns him down when he flirts with her.

    The Corporal 

  • Broken Aesop: Near the end, he has a long, well-put speech about how horrific war is and how no one should be forced to take part in it, which is all well and good until you remember that he's the one who knocked out Conker and forced him to take part in the war against the Tediz.
  • A Father to His Men: He seemingly cares for and sympathizes with the young squirrels being sent to war and even waits on Conker to get to the boat before they leave. In the multiplayer, he'll give the soldiers encouragement at any opportunity, telling the player what a good job they did when they won.
  • Forgetful Jones: He can't finish his sentences because he keeps forgetting what he was about to say.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He demands Conker get the crashed plane out of the way for him, knocks Conker out, and sends him to fight in the war without Conker's consent, but he at least has a very heartwarming speech about how War Is Hell at the end.

    The Tediz

  • Arc Villain: Of the "It's War" chapter of the game.
  • Does This Remind You of Anything?: There's a lot of not-so-subtle hints of them being this world's equivalent to Nazis, including the "z" in their name, the red flag with a "T" inside of a white circle in the multiplayer, and the fact that their leader speaks with a German accent.
  • Killer Rabbit: They're teddy bears, as well as Ax-Crazy, thinly veiled Nazi expies.
  • A Nazi by Any Other Name: See Does This Remind You of Anything? above. It got to the point where further references to the Nazis have been removed from the game.
  • Vile Villain, Saccharine Show: As the main villains of the "It's War" chapter, they've murdered and experimented on numerous squirrels without remorse and the majority of their scenes aren't played for laughs. Taken further, with a scene where two tediz are cutting open a a live squirrel. The scene was ultimately removed, but was found later on in the game files.


  • Badass Adorable: Yes, he has a tender appearance reminiscent of Rocky the Flying Squirrel, but there's another thing the two have in common; they know how to deal with warlike criminals. Also, his equipment is capable of resisting the most powerful attacks, including the explosion of a tank and later the explosion of the Tediz island, and he has no hesitation in throwing himself in harm's way.
  • Big "NO!": Does one when Conker comes closer to the little girl that he saved.
  • Bulletproof Human Shield: Offers himself to be one for Conker, since he can't die by bullets or explosions.
  • Break the Cutie: When he was forced to fight in the war.
  • Curse Cut Short: He wakes up just as the countdown reaches zero.
    Rodent: (sees countdown reach zero) Oohhhh sshhhhhh- (flies away by the impact of the explosion)
  • Cute, but Cacophonic: The only annoyance this otherwise cute and kindhearted character provides is his high-pitched voice. It sounds as if he had tonsillitis.
  • The Cutie: One of the, if not the, only character in the game who is not remotely selfish or malicious in any way, so him and Conker get along fairly well.
  • A Dog Named "Dog": He's named "Rodent", a kind of animal group where squirrels are included.
  • Disney Death: Conker mistakes him for being killed by the boss of "It's War", but he wakes up later just as the countdown of the bomb that will blow up the whole island reaches zero (in that moment, he expressed a gesture of Oh, Crap! as the explosion throws him far into the skies towards the big windmill of the Panther King's country, and he survives again).
  • The Lancer: Serves as this to Conker in "It's War".
  • Remember the New Guy?: He and Conker know each other by name and even greet one another happily once Conker saves him.
  • Ridiculously Cute Critter: He looks really {adorable, especially with his overly protective shield, high-pitched voice and glasses.
  • Squee!: He's overjoyed upon finding a Class 22 tank.
  • Trapped Behind Enemy Lines: When Conker first encounters him during the War Arc, he's held prisoner by a bunch of Tediz threatening to shoot him, and Conker has to save him to make progress.
  • War Memorial: Conker honors him with one when he thought he had died.

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