- Birdy the drunken scarecrow literally pimping out the game manual. "Ten dollah. Long time. You love manual long time."
- Before the money request, he hesitantly asks Conker if he has any Mepsipaxnote in exchange for the manual. Conker gives a confused "What?" to the odd request, leading Birdy to hurriedly wave it off.
- Plus the sign next to him - 'Feck off crows'.
- You can even use the B-pad next to him more than once... With hilarious results.Birdy: (high-voiced after huffing a tank of helium) Reeeeally nice helium, hehehehe!
- The whole Context-Sensitive Button tutorial, being a strange example of the blind successfully leading the blind.Conker: (after giving Birdy some beer) So, what does that mean?
Birdy: It means context-sensitive. It's...sensitive...to, eh, context. Try it over there.
- Pretty much the whole of "Sloprano" (the fight with The Great Mighty Poo).Explination
- Gregg the Grim Reaper; the guy may only show his face for three short cutscenes in the game, but they were awesome ones.Gregg: Bloody things, I hate those bloody cats! The way they meow and they piss everywhere and their shit just smells bloody awful! All over my furniture!
- Screw it, every damn character. Some of the choicer lines:The Fire Imps: "You see that button?" "Yeah?" "The one with the.." "Yeah?" "Press it." Brass Balls deployedTwo Tediz doctors: "Now if you were to give this game, to say, 20 or 30 intelligent people, what would that do? Let's face it, what would it do-" *click* "What the fuck?! It's that bloody squirrel, quick, back into character! Me slice you— *random Tediz gibberish*"Conker to Fangy: "Now I know you're not usually a vegetarian, but I think it might be time for the meat and two veg, if you know what I mean. Looks like he needs a bit of tenderizing, though.
- In Bats Tower, fitting a female cog on a pole next to a rowdy male cog (guess the implication):Carl: "Ey up, bloody hell. Go on, put it on quick. Put it on, I like it like that. Ohhh...Ahhhh. Fan-f***ing-tastic!"Conker: "Oh, hang on, I think I got it on the wrong way round."Carl: "Like bugger you have! What're you doin? Wha... Oh, F***!"
- In the "It's War" chapter:The SHC General: "Right, form an orderly line. Oh wait, there's only one of you. Now, here are the plans. 0830, boat will arrive, we depart. Now, 0825 — wait, 0830 - Aw f*ck that shit!" "I don't know what I been told, dud do doo doo — uh, I don't know but — Aw f*ck that shit!"
SHC Soldier: Okay! Thirty seconds! Nice knowing you, guys!
- Then we get the Saving Private Ryan parody. It's mostly grim, but one soldier on the boat gets some Black Comedy in before things ramp up...
- "Were your parents related? Like, before they were married?"
- "Suzie 9mm!"
- "I'm right here, sweetie pie. Just tell me where to shoot."
- After the mostly-serious Conkula cutscene, there is a violent ramming at the door...Conkula: Oh, shit. The villagers again.
- This is slightly funnier in the Xbox re-make, since the usual censor beep practically comes out of nowhere.
- "Time to wander around, aimlessly."
- Made funnier by the fact that the character saying it sounds like he's describing some great or evil plan by the voice.
- "Buff you, asshole!"
- The fact that the cheese fed to the mouse early on not only has eyes, but also yells.
- "WARNING, WARNING, AIRLOCK OPEN, AIR PRESSURE COMPROMISED" "THROW THE ALIEN OUT AND SHUT THE BLOODY DOOR" "YOU'RE NOT VERY GOOD AT THIS ARE YOU" "DON'T YOU KNOW YOU CAN BLOCK" "NO, NOT THE WALL, IT'S THE LARGE EXIT THING YOU WANT TO BE AIMING FOR, IDIOT"
- The pollination scene. Including Conker's facial reaction to it.
- The fact that the Panther King needed a scientist to figure out that his table had a missing leg. And the solution that said scientist came up with was to simply fetch a red squirrel (of which there happens to be ''only one of'' in the entire land) and use it to replace the leg.
- During the scientist's prep work for figuring out what can replace the table leg, he presents the health item for the game - anti-gravity chocolate - in the most rushed and lackluster manner possible, and just throws it out the window as an explanation for why you find it everywhere.
- Downer Ending and Cruel Twist aside, the game crashing at the end is a really funny example of Fourth Wall Breaking that serves as a nice contrast to how serious the game was getting towards the end. Conker's reaction is especially noteworthy.Conker: The game's locked up! HA! I don't believe this! What is it? This the testing department's day off or something?
- At one point, you see two bats talking to each other; their speech balloons are in English, but their voices are in squeaks. One of the bats says fuck and it gets bleeped out, despite the fact that they are only squeaking.
Funny / Conker's Bad Fur Day