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Vampire Vords

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William: He's a vampire!
Otto: I object most stronkly. It iss such an easy assumption to believe that everyvun with an Überwald accent is a vampire, is it not? There are many thousands of people from Überwald who are not vampires!
William: All right, I'm sorry, but—
Otto: I am a vampire, as it happens. But if I had said 'Hello my cheeky cock sparrow mate old boy by crikey,' what vould you have said zen, eh?
William: We'd have been completely taken in.

Vhen zhe Classical Movie Vampire became szuch an iconic portrayal of vampires, zuh vay sczhey szpoke also became iconic.

In other words, whenever vampires speak, they will inevitably have an Eastern European or Slavic accent. In the novel Dracula, the title character is said to be descended from the Szekely people, a Hungarian-speaking ethnic group still found in Romania. This is one of the many characteristics that serves to differentiate Stoker's character from the historical Vlad the Impaler — Tepes — who was ethnically Vlach and spoke Romanian as his native language. Bela Lugosi, who played the best-known screen Dracula in the 1931 film, was also a native Hungarian speaker born in present-day Romania (Dracula's historical namesake ruled over the kingdom of Wallachia, while the count himself hailed from Transylvania — two different regions of Romania). Also, due to the prominence of Jewish actors in Hollywood, it can also sound suspiciously like Yiddish — which, although a Germanic language, has been significantly influenced by Slavic languages, especially in terms of pronunciation/accent (at least for the Eastern Yiddish dialect group with Galitsianer, i.e Ukrainian Yiddish, and Litvak, i.e. Lithuanian Yiddish).

If you're curious: most native speakers of Slavic languages talk that way because the Cyrillic alphabet doesn't have a "w" sound; its closest equivalent is the character "В" (pronounced "Ve"), which denotes a "v" sound. Hence, they'll often pronounce "w" as "v" when learning English.

A large number of vampires in fiction have adopted the same affectations in their speech. As more modern portrayals have been introduced, this has become less common, but it is still frequently used in comedic portrayals.

All of vhich ics to szay zat zare are an auful lot of vampires avound who vont to "sohk yu blaohd". Also they tend to say "BLEH!" or "BLAH!" a lot; often two or three utterances at a time.

Note that in the original novel, Count Dracula is said to speak fluent English. (In fact, when his guest comments on it, he explains that his pride would never allow him to settle for merely being another foreigner with a funny accent once he visits Britain.)

Additionally, Bela Lugosi did not actually make his W's sound like V's. Check out the real deal here.note  Even Martin Landau got this one wrong — compare the original "atomic supermen" speech in ''Bride of the Monster'' with Landau's version in Ed Wood.

A case of Small Reference Pools with regards to vampires, and a Dead Horse Trope. As Dracula in the novel never spoke like this (as mentioned above) and Dracula from Hammer Horror didn't do this on the few occasions he spoke, this is something of a Dead Unicorn Trope born of Small Reference Pools.

See also Fang Thpeak and Sssssnake Talk. Sister Trope to Japanese Ranguage and Arab Beoble Talk. Compare The Coconut Effect. Related to Fake Russian. This trope has nothing to do with the Vord.


    open/close all folders 

  • Monster Cereals: Count Chocula, spokesvampire for the cereals, is given a Bela Lugosi-styled voice. His cereal's tagline is "I vant to eat your cereal!".
  • Lampooned in a radio commercial for Dunkin Donuts that aired during one October:
    Cashier: May I help you?
    Dracula: Yes! I vill have a dozen donuts!
    Cashier: Uhm, Dracula, you mean "will have".
    Dracula: Exactly! I vill have a dozen donuts!
    Cashier: You mean "will have".
    Dracula: Look, we're going to have to agree to disagree here.
  • In the Energizer advert, Count Dracula has a VELCOME mat outside the door to his castle.

    Anime und Manga 

    Comic Books 
  • The Simpsons Futurama Crossover Crisis: Dracula talks like this in the second issue of the second miniseries. For instance, when he's revealed to be the new mayor of New New York:
    Dracula: My fellow New New Yorkers... I vant to suck your blood! Blah!

    Fan Fiction 
  • Kedabory's Muppet Mania: In Alice Macro's episode, which is horror-themed, Kermit dresses as a vampire and does a "vampire voice", which is mostly just replacing "W"s in words with "V"s.
  • Slipping Between Worlds: The ingenuous visitor Philip Holtack learns vampires really exist from Sally von Humpeding. He learns much from her, especially about vamp sexuality, and is brought crashing down to Disc again in a lecture from Doreen von Vinkling.

    Film — Animated 
  • Cars 2: Mater briefly dons a vampire truck disguise. Upon noticing it, he says "I vant to zyphon your gas".
  • Hotel Transylvania: Dracula. Strangely, he's the only monster who has a non-American accent. Even the Egyptian mummy talks like... well, Cee Lo Green (his voice actor). Dracula's daughter Mavis sounds like a typical American teenager (give or take 100 years). However, Dracula is adamant that he has never said "bleh, bleh, bleh" and is annoyed when people who pretend to be vampires do it.

    Film — Live Action 
  • Fright Night (1985). Jerry Dandridge seems to lack an accent, but when he is in his true form, a touch of his real accent begins to leak out.
  • The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Magenta with the infamous "I grow veary of this vorld! Vhen do ve return to Transylvania?" prompting the fan response "Vednesday next veek, vhen else?"
  • The Satanic Rites of Dracula: Dracula briefly affects an Eastern European accent as a disguise.
  • What We Do in the Shadows: Almost all vampires speak like this, but not all of them, as Nick retains his thick New Zealand accent after he gets bitten (and Petyr does not speak at all). Which makes it a Justified Trope, since the others do originally come from Eastern Europe.

  • One night a bunch of teenagers were having a party while their parents were out. It got stormy and the power went out. The phone rang and one of the teenagers picked it up. The voice on the other line said "I am the viper, and I am only ten miles away." The kids got freaked out, but decided it must be a prank caller, and tried to call their parents but none of them would pick up. After a while the phone rang and the kids were a little scared to pick it up, but they thought it might be some of the parents. A boy picked it up and the voice on the other line said "I am the viper, and I am only 7 miles away." the kids were getting scared, but thought it was still the prank caller, and tried calling parents again, but none of them would pick up. Soon the phone rang again and the voice on the other line said "I am the viper, and I am only 5 miles away." By this time they were starting to think it might not be a prank caller, because a prank caller would have gave up by now. Soon the phone rang again and the voice on the other line said "I am the viper, and I am only 3 miles away." By this point some of the kids hid in the basement. Soon the phone rang again and they were really scared to answer, but a brave boy picked it up and the voice on the other line said "I am the viper, and I am only 1 mile away." Soon all the kids were hiding in the basement and there was a knock on the door. They didn't want to answer it and the person kept knocking for a long time. Soon they decided it might be someone's parents, so they went upstairs and opened the door. The man at the door said "I am the viper. Vich vindows do you vant me to vipe?"
  • Two people are invited to Dracula's castle. During dinner, one of them asks, "So is it pronounced Wallachia, or Vallachia?" The Count answers, "It's Vallachia." The tourist looks smugly at the other and says, "See? Told ya. Thank you, Count." The Count says, "You're velcome."
  • A joke/meme involving a different kind of accent but the same concept has the words "I lost my khakis" and shows some pants, and below that says "what it means in Boston" and shows some car keys.

  • Discworld: Repeatedly parodied.
    • The Truth: Early in, William de Worde meets Otto Chriek, the vampire who will become his iconographer, and assumes that he's a vampire due to his thick Überwalder accent. Otto isn't amused, since while, yes, he is a vampire, there are plenty of non-vampiric Überwalders, and William wouldn't have thought to wonder whether he was a vampire if he had had a more "respectable" accent. A later book suggests that Otto exaggerates his native accent deliberately in public; if he acts like a music-hall vampire he's seen as a joke rather than a bloodsucking monster, and people relax around him, which is important in his job.
    • Otto speaks with a cod-Central European accent in the original books to emphasise to an English-speaking and presumed-British readership that he is a Sinister-but-Funny Foreigner from a long way away. This posed a unique problem to the Czech translator of Discworld, who was retailoring the character for a readership who actually lived in Central Europe. Word of God, or at least Word Of Translator, is that for Czechs, Otto was reimagined as a different sort of parasitical bloodsucking alien entity from a far country, a cultural referent they knew well. In terms of accent and personality, Otto Chriek became suspiciously Russian-like for them.
    • Reaper Man introduces Arthur and Doreen Winkings, also known as Count and Countess Notfaroutoe, who were mere middle-aged merchants before Arthur received a certain "inheritance" from a "deceased" relative in Uberwald. Oddly, although she has never been turned by him, Doreen is the one who affects a thick Uberwald accent in conversation, most likely due to her class consciousness.
    • Thud!: Vimes remarked that he wanted to tell Doreen that she can use Ws, honestly — just borrow them from the guy who overemphasis his Ws (a real vampire trying too hard not to look like one), and added that her fake fangs rattle when she talks. Showing that the accent (or least Doreen's) is considered highly annoying. This is at least partly because Doreen has come to the conclusion that, as vampires, she and Arthur must logically be nobles, and therefore she stands for a number of things that Vimes find offensive, so his patience with her is probably already limited at best.
    • Igors also speak quite differently, in a messy lisp; they also appear to be able to dispense with this if they wish to, and occasionally forget to lisp when distracted.
    • Sally is a vampire that doesn't talk like Doreen or John Most-Definitively-Not-a-Vampire Smith, showing that the Vord usage is probably selective.
    • Monstrous Regiment: Whether Maledict is speaking Morporkian is a good question (and difficult to answer). An awful lot of puns don't work if you assume everyone's speaking Borogravian for most of the book, but why wouldn't they be?
    • Carpe Jugulum: None of the vampires use this accent (not even Bela, the old count). The inscription on the organ, however, reads "Hlisten to zee children of der night! Vot vonderful mhusick dey make!"
    • While Moist von Lipwig does not have the accent, he explains to Mr. Pump, his golem parole officer, that the W in his name is properly pronounced like a V. At which point Mr. Pump starts speaking in that accent in an attempt to correct itself.
    • The Fifth Elephant: Lady Margolotta speaks this way to Vimes, but not to anyone else, suggesting that she does it deliberately. She doesn't have the accent in Unseen Academicals, when she visits Ankh-Morpork, but does have it in Raising Steam, at home in Uberwald.
    • Conversely, there are also reformed vampires wwwwho overemphasise their doubleyous, under the impression they're "fitting in". In fact, Vimes thinks that "it shouldn't be possible to roll your doubleyous, but he did it anyway." He's not just overemphasizing them, he is in fact pronouncing them multiple times. Probably just to prove he can. ("He", in this case, is the above-mentioned John "Most Definitely Not a Vampire" Smith.)
  • Dracula: One of the reasons the Count keeps Harker alive in his castle so long is that he's trying very hard to shed his own Wallachian accent. Assuming he didn't head off to Britain until he was satisfied that he'd done so, it's likely that the original Count Dracula sounded like a law-schooled chap from Whitby during his English sojourn. Harker even notes the Count's handle on the language.
  • Fortunately, the Milk: Played with. A group of "wumpires" have a wery interesting vay of zpeaking.
  • Harry Potter:
  • The Laundry Files (by Charles Stross): In The Rhesus Chart, a couple of recently-turned vampires attempt to hypnotize a hematologist into giving them blood. They discover that hospitals don't keep large supplies of blood on hand due to the difficulties of storage, just ordering it on a case by case basis. Eventually one of them loses patience and tells her to stick a syringe in her arm. "I am a vampire and I vant to suck your blood!"
  • Monster of the Year: The Count always replaces his Ws with Vs.
  • Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark: Parodied in "The Viper". An old woman who lives alone receives mysterious phone calls from someone who calls himself "the Viper." The Viper tells her that he is coming up to her apartment, repeatedly calling and letting her know he is on his way. At the story's end, there is a knock at the door, and the old woman answers it...revealing a little old man with a bucket and cloth who "vishes to vipe and vash the vindows."
  • Twilight: The Romanian coven, formed of Stefan and Vladimir, have the accent. Or as Jacob calls them: Dracula 1 and Dracula 2.

    Live-Action Televiszion 
  • Beetleborgs: Fangula speaks with a strange combination of this and Not Even Bothering Withthe Accent. Also, when Van and Trip briefly become vampires in one episode, they start speaking the same way, possibly implying that a bad accent is a side effect of vampirism. Then again, they're children, and could just be playing the part as they've seen it.
  • Dracula (2020): Downplayed; Dracula initially speaks like this when we first see him, but due to feeding on Jonathan he quickly learns proper English.
  • Jeopardy!: If the correct response to a clue has anything to do with Dracula, Alex Trebek can be counted on to say his name in this fashion.
  • The Muppet Show: In the Vincent Price episode, one sketch has Gonzo and Fozzie checking out their castle-like summer cottage, which Gonzo bought (rented? leased?) based on its ad in "The Wampire Veekly".

  • Coffinshakers, a Vampire Country band, use Vampire Vords in some of their songs.
  • Eminem: Possibly what Eminem is doing with Slim Shady's accent on his Serial Killer-themed Concept Album Relapse. But it's up for debate.
  • Gorillaz: "Dracula" opens with a very Legosi-sounding "Resht ees good for ze blaad". Which actually comes from the Bugs Bunny cartoon "Transylvania 6-5000"
  • Powerwolf: Attilla Dorn, the singer, while being German and speaking perfect German in real life, speaks with a heavy Eastern European accent while on stage and also in interviews, due to their band's style, which incorporates typical vampire clichés.


    Ztandup Comedy 
  • Lenny Bruce helped to popularize this trope with a standup routine that showed Dracula as a pill-popping Henpecked Husband, and used the exaggerated Slavic accent to make clear who was talking.

    Tabletop Gamez 
  • Sentinels of the Multiverse: All the vampires in the Court of Blood speak with an exaggerated Funetik Aksent, clearly modeled on Bela Lugosi's Dracula''.
  • Vampire: The Masquerade: The Tzimisce were often characterized with this accent, probably to play up the Dracula connection. In later versions, this is a flaw and strongly implied to be a mental illness, although many of them actually do hail from Eastern Europe, at least.

  • The Rocky Horror Show: Riff Raff and Magenta both talk like this at the end of Rocky Horror Show Live after they confront Frank and stop pretending to be human.

    Video Games 
  • Conker's Bad Fur Day featured Count Batula, Conker's ancestor who mostly speaks Vampire Vords, but sometimes is caught not doing so.
  • Dirge of Cerberus: Rosso the Crimson uses this accent to go along with her "sexy lady vampire" theme. The intent is to make her sound sensuous and dangerous, but she comes off sounding more like Natasha Fatale.
  • Final Fantasy: The Vampire from the remakes says "vorld" instead of "world".
  • Heroes of Might and Magic: In Ho MM 3 the Vampire units from the Necropolis say “blech” when they attack.
  • Kingdom of Loathing: Players wearing the Plastic Vampire Fangs will have the words "want", "suck", and "blood" in their in-game chat changed to pretty much what you'd expect.
  • Legacy of Kain: While this is averted through most of the cast being vampires with upper-class British accents, Janos Audron plays the trope straight with a thick Slavic-esque accent.
  • Mario & Luigi: Dream Team: Used by Antasma the King of Bats, the Big Bad. While he's not explicitly stated to be a vampire, he is strongly inspired by one appearance- and ability-wise, and speaks in a thick accent that replaces all doubleyous with vees.
  • Regalia: Of Men and Monarchs: Theo tries to talk like this as much as possible, but he occasionally forgets to keep it up.
  • Sam & Max Beyond Time and Space: In Night of the Raving Dead, the villain speaks like that. And in Gratuitous German. "You have interfered with my plans for the last time, Sam und Max." He's something of a subversion, though. He speaks that way because he is German, not because he is a vampire.
  • Shadow Hearts: Covenant: Joachim parodies this when he turns into his Golden Bat form. One of his victory lines is "I vant to suck your blood! Hehe, just kidding!"
  • Super Smash Bros. Ultimate: Pit briefly puts on a mock Bela Lugosi accent when asking if Alucard wants to drink his blood.
  • Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines: Downplayed. The only vampire to use this accent is Andrei, an old-world Tzimisce who in all likelyhood actually is Eastern European. The guy who drives the cab (there appears to be only a single cab driver in the entirety of LA for some reason) does it too. He later turns out to also be a vampire, and possibly Caine on top of it.
  • Warcraft III: The Dreadlord hero unit. While they're demons, not vampires, between their vampiric aura, control over bats, ability to return after death, and hypnotic powers, for a long time they were the closest thing in the Warcraft universe.

  • Girl Genius: Used with the Jaegermonsters. In the comic's Steampunked Mitteleuropa (where, as historically, German is the language of business and international standard), everyone speaks perfect English due to the Translation Convention... except the Jaegers, who have thick German accents, conveying to the audience the same sort of connotations (a whole semi-species built of deliberately exaggerated Prussianisms) that their dialect conveys to the characters.
  • The Perry Bible Fellowship: Here, the vampire mother speaks in accent that replaces "w" with "v" and "th" with "z" or "zh".

    Veb Video 
  • Negima The Abridged Series has Evangeline McDowell speak in a comically thick Eastern European accent with plenty of V's. Yes, Evangeline McDowell. She's faking it to make up for the fact that she doesn't scare people as much as she wants to. Getting kicked in the head or otherwise losing her concentration makes her slip back into a comically thick British accent.

    Vestern Animation 
  • The Jungle Bunch: Vladimir isn't a vampire, but has a whole vampire motif about him, including the accent.
  • A Pup Named Scooby-Doo: Parodied. An actor who plays a vampire on TV states that the accent comes from the fake fangs he wears.
  • Milo Murphy's Law: Kyle Drako may or may not be an actual vampire, but if he isn't he's got the whole shtick down pat, including the accent.
  • Scary Godmother: The vampires, although Ruby's is more of a Russian accent. However, Orson has an American accent.

    Real Life 
  • In Real Life, Attila Csihar, the Hungarian singer of the otherwise Norwegian metal band Mayhem, has such an extreme Dracula-like Hungarian accent that it makes you wonder if he exaggerates his own accent to make his vocals more obviously reminiscent of Bela Lugosi's Dracula.


Count Batula

Talks like this, to complement his image.

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