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Vampire Vords

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William: He's a vampire!
Otto: I object most stronkly. It iss such an easy assumption to believe that everyvun with an Überwald accent is a vampire, is it not? There are many thousands of people from Überwald who are not vampires!
William: All right, I'm sorry, but—
Otto: I am a vampire, as it happens. But if I had said 'Hello my cheeky cock sparrow mate old boy by crikey,' what vould you have said zen, eh?
William: We'd have been completely taken in.

Vhen zhe Classical Movie Vampire became szuch an iconic portrayal of vampires, zuh vay sczhey szpoke also became iconic.

In the novel Dracula the character of Count Dracula is said to be a Szekely, a Hungarian-speaking ethnic group still found in Romania. (This is one of the many characteristics that makes Stoker's character Dracula different from the historical Vlad the Impaler — Tepes —, who was ethnically Vlach and spoke Romanian as his native language). Bela Lugosi, who played the best-known screen Dracula in the 1931 film, was also a native Hungarian speaker. The stereotyped vampire accent is therefore based mostly on the Hungarian accent, but often just shades off into an unidentifiable Eastern European accent. Perhaps due to the prominence of Jewish actors in Hollywood, sometimes it can also sound suspiciously like Yiddish - which, although a Germanic language, has been significantly influenced by Slavic languages, especially in terms of pronunciation/accent (at least for the Eastern Yiddish dialect group with Galitsianer, i.e Ukrainian, Yiddish and Litvak, i.e. Lithuanian, Yiddish).

A large number of vampires in fiction have adopted the same affectations in their speech. As more modern portrayals have been introduced, this has become less common, but it is still frequently used in comedic portrayals.

All of vhich ics to szay zat zare are an auful lot of vampires avound who vont to "sohk yu blaohd".

Note that in the original book, Count Dracula was said to speak Surprisingly Good English. (In fact, when his guest comments on it, he explains that his pride would never allow him to settle for merely being another foreigner with a funny accent once he visits Britain.)

Additionally, Bela Lugosi did not actually make his W's sound like V's. Check out the real deal herenote . Even Martin Landau got this one wrong - compare the original "atomic supermen" speech in ''Bride of the Monster'' with Landau's version in Ed Wood.

A case of Small Reference Pools with regards to vampires, and a Dead Horse Trope.

See also Fang Thpeak and Sssssnake Talk. Compare The Coconut Effect. Related to Fake Russian. This trope has nothing to do with the Vord.

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     Vertising (Advertising) 
  • Count Chocula, spokesvampire for the Monster Cereals.
  • Lampooned in a radio commercial for Dunkin Donuts that aired during one October:
    Cashier: May I help you?
    Dracula: Yes! I vill have a dozen donuts!
    Cashier: Uhm, Dracula, you mean "will have".
    Dracula: Exactly! I vill have a dozen donuts!
    Cashier: You mean "will have".
    Dracula: Look, we're going to have to agree to disagree here.
  • In an Energizer advert, Count Dracula has a VELCOME mat outside the door to his castle.

     Vanime and Vanga (Anime and Manga) 

     Van Viction (Fan Fiction) 
  • In Naruto Veangance Revelations, the blonde German woman on the Council.
  • In the Discworld fic Slipping Between Worlds, the ingenuous visitor Philip Holtack learns vampires really exist from Sally von Humpeding. He learns much from her, especially about vamp sexuality, and is brought crashing down to Disc again in a lecture from Doreen von Vinkling.
  • TheGingerverse has the Vasile siblings (Daria and Bram). They speak with heavy accents that sound like this. It makes sense since they are from Romania.

     Vilm (Film) 
  • Bela Lugosi in Dracula (1931) effectively made this trope. His thick Hungarian accent contrasted with the Dracula character from the original novel, who spoke comparatively better English.
  • Fright Night (1985). Jerry Dandridge seems to lack an accent, but when he is in his true form, a touch of his real accent begins to leak out.
  • Completely avoided in the Hammer Horrors— though in The Satanic Rites of Dracula Dracula briefly affects an Eastern European accent as a disguise.
  • Count von Krolock talks this way in The Fearless Vampire Killers. Oddly, his son does not.
  • Mined ad nauseam for “jokes” in the “comedy” Mama Dracula. Steel yourself for the concept that the term “wirgin” is as screamingly funny as the filmmakers seemed to think.
  • Dr. Janosz Poha in Ghostbusters II is a rare non-vampiric example.
  • Dracula in Hotel Transylvania. Strangely, he's the only monster who has a non-American accent. Even the Egyptian mummy talks like... well, Cee Lo Green (his voice actor). Dracula's daughter Mavis sounds like a typical American teenager (give or take 100 years). However, Dracula is adamant that he has never said "bleh, bleh, bleh" and is annoyed when people who pretend to be vampires do it.

     Viterature (Literature) 
  • Note that in Bram Stoker's Dracula, one of the reasons the Count keeps Harker alive in his castle so long is that he's trying very hard to shed his own Wallachian accent. Assuming he didn't head off to Britain until he was satisfied that he'd done so, it's likely that the original Count Dracula sounded like a law-schooled chap from Whitby during his English sojourn. Harker even notes the Count's handle on the language.
  • The Romanian coven from Twilight, formed of Stefan and Vladimir, have the accent. Or as Jacob calls them: Dracula 1 and Dracula 2.
  • Repeatedly parodied in the Discworld novels.
    • Early in the plot of The Truth, William de Worde meets Otto Chriek, the vampire who will become his iconographer, leading to the exchange quoted above.
      • A later book suggests that Otto exaggerates his native accent deliberately in public; if he acts like a music-hall vampire he's seen as a joke rather than a bloodsucking monster.
    • Reaper Man introduces Arthur and Doreen Winkings, also known as Count and Countess Notfaroutoe, who were mere middle-aged merchants before Arthur received a certain "inheritance" from a "deceased" relative in Uberwald. Oddly, although she has never been turned by him, Doreen is the one who affects a thick Uberwald accent in conversation, most likely due to her class consciousness.
      • In Thud! Vimes remarked that he wanted to tell Doreen that she can use Ws, honestly - just borrow them from the guy who overemphasis his Ws (a real vampire trying too hard not to look like one), and added that her fake fangs rattle when she talks. Showing that the accent (or least Doreen's) is considered highly annoying.
      • This is at least partly because Doreen has come to the conclusion that, as vampires, she and Arthur must logically be nobles, and therefore she stands for a number of things that Vimes find offensive, so his patience with her is probably already limited at best.
    • It should be noted that there are many non-vampire Uberwald natives (Sgt. Angua, Moist von Lipwig, and a large number of dwarfs, among others) who do not speak with the same dialect.
      • Igors also speak quite differently, in a messy lisp; they also appear to be able to dispense with this if they wish to, and occasionally forget to lisp when distracted.
      • Sally is a vampire that doesn't talk like Doreen or John Most-Definitively-Not-A-Vampire Smith, showing that the Vord usage is probably selective.
      • So is Maledict from Monstrous Regiment, though whether Mal is speaking Morporkian is a good question (and difficult to answer). An awful lot of puns don't work if you assume everyone's speaking Borogravian for most of the book, but why wouldn't they be?
      • None of the vampires in Carpe Jugulum used this accent (not even Bela, the old count). The inscription on the organ, however, reads "Hlisten to zee children of der night! Vot vonderful mhusick dey make!"
      • While Moist von Lipwig does not have the accent, he explains to Mr. Pump, his golem parole officer, that the W in his name is properly pronounced like a V. At which point Mr. Pump starts speaking in that accent in an attempt to correct itself.
    • Lady Margolotta, in The Fifth Elephant, speaks this way to Vimes, but not to anyone else, suggesting that she does it deliberately.
    • Wwwwhile, conversely, there are also reformed vampires wwwwho overemphasise their doubleyous, under the impression they're "fitting in".
      • In fact, Vimes thinks that "it shouldn't be possible to roll your doubleyous, but he did it anyway." He's not just overemphasizing them, he is in fact pronouncing them multiple times. Probably just to prove he can. ("He," in this case, is the above-mentioned John "Most Definitely Not A Vampire" Smith.)
  • Bill talks this way to tease Lori in Aunt Dimity: Vampire Hunter.
  • Parodied in "The Viper," a story from Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. An old woman who lives alone receives mysterious phone calls from someone who calls himself "the Viper." The Viper tells her that he is coming up to her apartment, repeatedly calling and letting her know he is on his way. At the story's end, there is a knock at the door, and the old woman answers it... revealing a little old man with a bucket and cloth who "vishes to vipe and vash the vindows."
  • The Rhesus Chart by Charles Stross. A couple of recently-turned vampires attempt to hypnotize a hematologist into giving them blood. They discover that hospitals don't keep large supplies of blood on hand due to the difficulties of storage, just ordering it on a case by case basis. Eventually one of them loses patience and tells her to stick a syringe in her arm. "I am a vampire and I vant to suck your blood!"
  • Played with in Fortunately, the Milk, which features a group of "wumpires" who have a wery interesting vay of zpeaking.

     Vive Vaction Velevision (Live Action Television) 

     Vusic (Music) 
  • The Vampire Country band Coffinshakers use Vampire Vords in some of their songs.
  • Averted in Blue Öyster Cult's "I Love The Night," in which the vampire seeking a boyfriend who shares her interests is voiced in perfectly normal American English.
  • Attilla Dorn, the singer of the German Power Metal Band Powerwolf, while being German and speaking perfect German in real life, speaks with a heavy Eastern European accent while on stage and also in interviews, due to their band's style, which incorporates typical vampire clichés.
  • "Dracula" by Gorillaz opens with a very Legosi-sounding "Resht ees good for ze blaad".

    Vinball (Pinball) 

     Vandup Vomedy (Standup Comedy) 
  • Lenny Bruce helped to popularize this trope with a standup routine that showed Dracula as a pill-popping Henpecked Husband, and used the exaggerated Slavic accent to make clear who was talking.

     Vabletop Vames (Tabletop Games) 
  • In the Vampire: The Masquerade 1.0, the Tzimisce were often characterized with this accent, probably to play up the Dracula connection.
    • In later versions, this is a flaw and strongly implied to be a mental illness.
    • Many of them actually do hail from Eastern Europe, at least.

     Video Vames (Video Games) 
  • The Dreadlord hero unit from Warcraft III. While they're demons, not vampires, between their vampiric aura, control over bats, ability to return after death, and hypnotic powers, for a long time they were the closest thing in the Warcraft universe.
  • Averted in the Castlevania games, where Dracula has never spoken with a Bela Lugosi accent. (Interestingly enough, once Ayami Kojima established the franchise's character design style, Dracula's entire appearance began to hew more closely to Bram Stoker's original description.)
  • Joachim in Shadow Hearts: Covenant (who, as a Camp Gay, is about as far from Dracula as you can possibly get) still parodies this when he turns into his Golden Bat form. One of his victory lines is "I vant to suck your blood! Hehe, just kidding!"
  • The Legacy of Kain series averts this as most of the cast are vampires with upper-class British accents. Janos Audron, however, plays the trope straight with a thick Slavic-esque accent.
  • Rosso the Crimson, from Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus, uses this accent to go along with her "sexy lady vampire" theme. The intent is to make her sound sensuous and dangerous, but she comes off sounding more like Natasha Fatale.
    • Then again it's hard to make someone who Ax-Crazy come off as sexy. And she did sound more Russian.
  • The Vampire from the Final Fantasy I remakes says "vorld" instead of "world".
  • In Sam & Max Beyond Time and Space, Night of the Raving Dead, the villain speaks like that. And in Gratuitous German. "You have interfered with my plans for the last time Sam *und* Max"
    • He's something of a subversion, though. He speaks that way because he is German, not because he is a vampire.
  • Averted in Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines. The only vampire to use this accent is Andrei, an old-world Tzimisce. The guy who drives the cab (there appears to be only a single cab driver in the entirety of LA for some reason) does it too. Who later turns out to be a vampire, and possibly Caine on top of it.
  • Conker's Bad Fur Day featured Count Batula, Conker's ancestor who mostly speaks Vampire Vords, but sometimes is caught not doing so.
  • In Kingdom of Loathing, players wearing the Plastic Vampire Fangs will have the words "want", "suck", and "blood" in their in-game chat changed to pretty much what you'd expect.
  • Used by Antasma the King of Bats, the Big Bad of Mario & Luigi: Dream Team. While he's not explicitly stated to be a vampire, he is obviously inspired by one appearance- and ability-wise.
  • Magicka and it's sequel has Vlad, though he constantly claims he is not a vampire.
  • Theo from Regalia: Of Men and Monarchs tries to talk like this as much as possible, but he occasionally forgets to keep it up.

     Veb Vomics (Web Comics) 
  • Used with the Jaegermonsters in Girl Genius. In the comic's SteamPunk'ed Mitteleuropa (where, as historically, German is the language of business and international standard), everyone speaks perfect English due to the Translation Convention... except the Jaegers, who have thick German accents, conveying to the audience the same sort of connotations (a whole semi-species built of deliberately exaggerated Prussianisms) that their dialect conveys to the characters.
  • The Perry Bible Fellowship here.

     Veb Voriginal (Web Original) 

     Vestern Vanimation (Western Animation) 

     Veal Vife (Real Life) 
  • In Real Life, Attila Csihar, the Hungarian singer of the otherwise Norwegian metal band Mayhem, has such an extreme Dracula-like Hungarian accent that it makes you wonder if he exaggerates his own accent to make his vocals more obviously reminiscent of Bela Lugosi's Dracula.