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Funny / The Rap Critic

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    Rap Song Reviews 
Turn My Swag On by Soulja Boy
  • The captions that read "lyrics are too insulting to my intelligence to type."
  • *TEETH*

Best I Ever Had by Drake

Lean Back by Terror Squad

  • "Life sucks, and this is a vacuum!"
  • In response to Remy Ma bragging about how she can get into clubs while carrying guns on her person: "I want to know whatever clubs you hang around, my friend! So I can stay far away from them."

My President Is Black by Nas

  • "Black, blue, green, grey; what is this, the rapping rainbow?!"

Just Lose It by Eminem

Tipsy by J-Kwon

  • "Good luck using that fake I.D. now that you just admitted to the world that you have a fake I.D."
  • "Aw, man, that girl looks good. When she moves, her body has a nice shake to it. Shakes go good with fries. Fries are very good right now. I wonder if she works at a place where I can get fries supersized. I wanna eat some fries right now. Also I want to count some numbers."

All Falls Downby Kanye West

My Chick Bad by Ludacris

  • Ludacris: ♪My chick bad♪
    Rap Critic: No, your chick evil!

Today Was a Good Dayby Ice Cube

  • "Wait, pimping's a crime; since when did Goodyear blimps become snitches?"

Rollin'/Party Like a Rockstar by Limp Bizkit /The Shop Boyz

  • "Where'd you get your knowledge of rock music from, the Ninja Turtles?
  • Rapper: "We['re] about to change the game."
    Rap Critic: "Your naive expectations are adorable."

No Love by Eminem ft. Li'l Wayne

  • His body threatening him with kicking him in the balls if he didn't go out and buy the album containing the song. This then happens again forcing him to see other good art of 2010, specifically Black Swan, which he had originally said wouldn't happen because it was about ballerinas.

Hey Ma by Cam'ron ft. Juelz Santana

Mrs. Officer by Li'l Wayne ft. Bobby Valentino & Kidd Kidd

The Jump Off Li'l Kim

Lovin It by Little Brother

Odds and Ends

  • The disclaimer that opens the video ("If you can read this, you don't need glasses. If you can't, you're probably having a seizure").

Just Can't Get Enough by The Black Eyed Peas

  • The video begins with him deciding that instead of that song, he'll take the request of the most talked about song on the site. Cue "Pig Power in the House", causing Rap Critic to immediately go back to the Peas.
    • Any time the "cameraman's sister" (the Animetalchick) appears.
  • The end of the song:
    will.i.am: I just can't-
    Rap Critic: Shut up.

Women Lie, Men Lie by Yo Gotti

  • The intro: "Hi, I'm the Rap Critic. Let's talk about yo mama. (Laughs) But seriously, let's talk about Yo Gotti."
  • This analysis of a part of the song:
    Gotti: I be rocking Gucci, sometimes Louis-
    Rap Critic: I swear IF I HEAR SOMEONE RHYME GUCCI WITH LOUIS ONE MORE TIME, I'M GONNA do nothing because as an internet reviewer I don't really have that much power.
    • Then, directly after that:
    Gotti: I'm retarded-
    Rap Critic: ...There is no way you just said what I think you just said. Could you repeat that again?
    Gotti: I'M RETARDED.
    Rap Critic: Did you just insult yourself for buying brand name clothing? Because the last time I checked, that was not a compliment!

Every Girl by Young Money

  • When RC hears a bunch of words being stuttered and muted out, he assumes he's listening to some remix of the song, only to be told that it's just the edited version. After switching to the explicit version for one verse, the clean one sneaks back in for the next one, and RC has to shoo it back out.
  • Followed by this Mood Whiplash:
    Lil Wayne: ♪And I don't think you're beautiful; I think you're beyond it [...] And I just wanna get behind it and watch you BACK IT UP AND DUMP IT! BACK-BACK IT UP AND DUMP IT!♪
    Rap Critic: Wow! So basically what you're trying to say to this girl is...
    Prince: ♪Could you be the most beautiful girl in the world?♪
    Rap Critic: But...
    Lil' Jon: ♪NOW TURN AROUND, BITCH! PUT THAT ASS ON A NIGGA!♪
  • "The only 'buts' I want to hear out of you are in relation to the women in the music video!"

Moment 4 Life by Nicki Minaj

  • Echoing the previous episode, when RC hears Nicki stuttering before some of her words, he assumes they got some DJ to make the edited version, but in fact, this was not the case.
    "S-S-S-Stop it!"
  • Also the Freudian Slippery Slope at the end.
    [After saying he likes the song]
    And I'm not just saying that because I find her attractive, I'm saying that because I like her body... of work, and I love it when she raps her beautiful lips... off, on this song. ... I wanna make out with Nicki Minaj — Crap!
  • "Queens have been very important in their day: there's Queen Elizabeth, Queen Victoria, Queen Latifah, there's a lot of them!"

Little Secret by Lil Twist ft. Bow Wow

Otis by Jay Z and Kanye West

Marvin and Chardonnay by Big Sean

  • This bit:
    Kanye West: HOLD UP! HOLD UP! HOLD UP! HOLD UP!
    Peter Griffin: Lois, this is not my Batman glass.
  • Later, Kanye ducks and screams after the line "This the fucking anthem/Get it? The fucking anthem?". RC interprets this as sounding like Kanye bombing at a comedy club, so he then repeats the line and overdubs crowd booing and bottle breaking noises.
  • RC's brief thoughts on "Amazing" after hearing Big Sean and Kanye interpolate it in the song:
    RC: It's so ironic, it's so ironic because you're only singing two notes, and it's kind of boring, it's really boring...
  • After hearing the lyric "This was all inspired by a little Marvin Gaye and Chardonnay":
    (RC looks slowly to the left)
    Marvin Gaye: Givin' yourself to me could never be wrong/if the love is true...
    (RC looks slowly to the right)
    Kanye West: HOLD UP! HOLD UP! HOLD UP! HOLD UP!
    (RC looks slowly towards the camera)
    RC: Really?

Gucci Gucci by Kreayshawn

  • Animetalchick tries to do her own episode as a "female Rap Critic". Then RC takes her camera to do the episode himself.

Shaq Diesel by Shaquille O'Neal

Beautiful by Snoop Dogg

  • singing the song to "someone special" and reacting to a Product Placement lyric by showing the cover of his own record.
  • Snoop talks about his high school girlfriend's mom and sister not liking him.
    Okay, after talking about giving your girlfriend "pimp fluid", I think I understand why they're concerned.
  • Later:
    Snoop Dogg: Keep groovin', that's what we doin'/And we gon' be together until your Moms move in.
    The Rap Critic: That's quite the sentiment there, Snoop. "I'll love you forever and always, at least until your mom gets too old and has to move in with us. Screw that noise. Either she stays and I go, or we stick the old bag in a home. I didn't forget when she was cockblocking me in high school."

Drank in My Cup by Kirko Bangz

  • RC comparing Kirko Bangz to Drake, then mishearing the line "Draped up" as "Draked up."
  • When giving a rating, RC initially gives the song a 5 out of 5, but reveals it as a joke two seconds later.

Shawty by Plies

  • He responds to Plies showing off his girl to criminals with this gem:
    Rap Critic!Plies: "Wow, 100,000 dollars! Have you ever seen this much money at one time? I've never seen this much money at one time! I bet this could feed a family for...hey, where'd the money go? Hey, you can't take that, it's mine! *gun cock*"
  • The lines "You know she gotta be something, 'cause I done beat her hunda / Babe snatchin', not now, I'm tellin' ya, I promise" cause Rap Critic to just give up and play his "Get Out of Lyric Free" card.

O Let's Do It by Waka Flocka Flame

  • In the intro, Rap Critic mocks Waka's name as something a friend might have called him after watching Muppet Babies. Then, this lyric pops up:
    Waka Flocka Flame: Call me Waka Flocka!
    Rap Critic: Unfortunately, I have to.
  • The numerous Acting for Two scenes, such as his interpretation of the line "Now I'm back on deck / So, shawty, what the f*** you want?":
    Guy #1 (panicking): Man, I need a hit real bad, man! I need something, I need some drugs, I need some coke real bad, man! I need a fix!
    Guy #2: Hey, I'm selling drugs, what the [bleep] do you want?
    Guy #1: Well, I don't quite fancy your tone, sir. I'll take my business elsewhere!
  • And this one, in response to "Locked my CEO up / Now it's back to coca":
    Guy #1: Hey, Waka, our boss Gucci Man was just locked up!
    Waka Flocka Flame: Oh, man! Guess we have to go back to selling cocaine!
    Guy #1: Well, I was thinking we just continue touring, 'cause that's already kinda making money for us —
    Waka Flocka Flame: Nope! (Holds up a bucket of flour) Already got the cocaine!
  • His mondegreen of the following line:
    Waka Flocka Flame: N***s talkin' s***, bruh / Hang him by a Roeper (rope-a)!
    Rap Critic: Huh, I didn't know film critics could be used as hanging material.
  • What the Rap Critic thinks would happen if he ever meets one of the rappers he's reviewed:
    Guy #1: Hey, it's the guy who reviewed my song!
    Rap Critic: Uhh, yeah.
    Guy #1: (Laughs) That was funny, man, I sucked on that song. Hey, get this guy a bottle of Chirac on me!
    Rap Critic: Your... your music is degrading the quality of lyricism in the mainstream expect—
    Guy #1: Say what? I can't hear you over the sound of all this money I'm making!
  • "Yeah, the death of my closest friend just goes to show what leading this sort of life can do. Well, let's go back to leading this sort of life! Oh, and promoting it in my music!"
    • "Yeah, the death of my wait, didn't I just use this joke?"

Shake Ya Tailfeather by Nelly ft. P. Diddy & Murphy Lee

Hate It or Love It by The Game ft. 50 Cent

  • His reaction to the opening lines:
    Rap Critic: 50 Cent is rapping about, well, probably the three topics he always raps about: 1) I sell crack and will kill you, 2) Despite being very rich I will still kill you, or 3) Girl let me get in those drawers. Well, let's see what he does.
    50 Cent: Growing up I was confused/My momma kissing a girl.
    Rap Critic: [Spit Take] Did he just, wait, where did that water come from?

Birthday Song by 2Chainz ft. Kanye West

  • 2Chainz: She got a big booty, so I call her big booty
    Rap Critic: Has anyone ever told you how clever you are? Because they'd be wrong.
  • 2Chainz: Extendo clip, extendo roll. When your girl leave me she need a hair salon
    Rap Critic: You know that doesn't rhyme. You KNOW that doesn't rhyme! Forget all that hard rhyming nonsense, no, that is not a rhyme!
  • Rap Critic: Who's responsible for this complete vaccuum of artistic talent?
    Kanye West: (*caption read "this guy"*) Ahhhhh, Yeezy, Yeezy, how ya do it, huh?
    Rap Critic: God, please no...
  • The Rap Critic's explanation on what Kanye's verse so far is about how the guy is not getting any sex and cries himself to sleep, and what he says afterwards:
    Happy birthday to you...
  • The entire rant about being buried in different stores.
  • On Kanye's unique mode of transportation:
    Rap Critic: I'm sorry, you're riding a bike that has a birthday cake attached to it with boobs on it. (beat) Nothing you say will ever be taken seriously again. Like, I don't care if you find the answer to world peace, you're still officially "Boob Cake Man".
  • His spot-on assertion that Kanye jacked his "huhhh"s from the Ying Yang Twins.
  • This morbidly weird, nonsensical line.
    2Chainz: So when I die, bury me next to two bitches!
    Rap Critic: (confused) Do you want these women to be a live and in your casket with you? Cuz while I've seen video hoes do some desperate things, I'm pretty sure being buried alive is the limit. Or does he want his grave to in between two women who were hot when they were alive?

Swimming Pools (Drank) by Kendrick Lamar

  • When the Rap Critic first hears the song, he goes ahead and tries to head-start a new Internet meme out of the hook.
    Rap Critic: Realizing the inability for this meme to catch on...
    Kendrick Lamar: DRANK
  • Also, his interpretation of what the drunk guy symbolized in Kendrick's chorus is like.
    Drunk Guy!Rap Critic: Hey man, what are you doin' with those lil' baby shot glasses?! What you need to do is get yoself a swimmin' pool full 'a licka and then ya dive right in it! *drinks remainder of cup and then falls down backwards*

I Cry by Flo Rida

David Banner's Certified

Started From the Bottom by Drake vs. Juicy by The Notorious BIG

Love Me by Li'l Wayne

  • After Drake says in the chorus that he doesn't care about haters in any way while he has his women, we get to Lil Wayne, whose first line in the song is "Pussy ass niggas, stop hating". The critic then plays a montage of Wayne mentioning haters in the song alone.
    Rap Critic: I don't know about you, but there's something slightly contradictory about shouting, "HEY ALL YOU HATERS! PAY ATTENTION TO THE FACT THAT I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU!"
  • He gets confused at the line "These hoes love me like Satan, man!", and starts questioning if anyone loves Satan. He also says this line, which doubles as a Take That! towards certain conspiracy theorists.
    Y'know, believe it or not, but some people think that this little snippet is proof-positive towards Lil Wayne being part of some demonic cult. And honestly, if you think some post-production CGI inspired by a barely thought-out lyric is the proof you need to believe Lil Wayne works for the Devil, then he does work for the Devil (shifty look), and he's going to kill you.

#thatpower by Will.I.Am

  • The fact that making the title a Twitter hashtag is a shameless attempt to get attention in that particular social media outlet:
    Rap Critic: I'm surprised your album's name isn't "#willpower: brought to you by the refreshing taste of Coca-Cola."
  • Also: After asking which blonde white chick will.i.am brought in as a guest singer and seeing Justin Bieber, he adjusts his glasses and says "Oh, I'm sorry. She's not that blonde."
  • His going on about the fact that Will.i.am hits all six of the points that get to him: bragging about money, the haters, repeating unimportant words to fill up space, not rhyming, rhyming words with themselves, and having both verses end on the same four bars.
  • And RC mocking Justin Bieber's dance moves or as he called it "awkward fidgeting."

Bad by Wale

  • He makes some observations about how both men and women seem to go for bad people just because it's more interesting.
  • There's also the intro of the song proper:
    Wale: Monogamy or whatever you call it I'm starting to think ain't for everybody
    Rap Critic: Especially now that fame has made more women want to have sex with me! *thumbs up*
  • His playing a rapper about to do a "hard rhyme", where they give up and don't bother rhyming a few lines together.
    Rap Critic: I need to find a rhyme for the word I just put at the end of this line, that will work in the context of the next line. But that sounds hard!
    • And then he brings it immediately back for the June 2013 edition of "Worst Lyrics" for "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke.
    Rap Critic: Yeah, I re-used that clip from the Wale episode. I refuse to dignify this guy's lazy writing with a new joke.

Black Skinhead by Kanye West

  • Rap Critic finds the "BLACK" beat funny and briefly imitates it. It's the look on his face that really sells it.
    "This is BLACK, it's so BLACK that even the beat says "BLACK"! It's BLACKITY-BLACK and it's BLACK, y'all!"

Gas Pedal by Sage the Gemini

  • His disdain for the short list of rappers whose stage names are complete sentences:
    "Isn't that right, Soulja Boy Tell'Em? Well, tell 'em!"
  • He comments on the monotone delivery of the lyrics by saying that "At least when TechN9ne puts on his serious voice, he still lets you know that whatever he's doing, he's liking it!"
    Tech N9ne: DRINKIN'. AND SMOKIN'. AND HUMPIN'. AND LIKIN' IT.
  • "My chick's white, real white: Adolf Hitler"

Berzerk by Eminem

  • His parody of the Mundane Made Awesome chorus:
    Grow your beard out, watch paint dry, eat a box of oreos ALL NIGHT LONG
    Watch a movie, maybe masturbate, fall asleep on the couch ALL NIGHT LONG

Timber by Pitbull ft. Kesha

  • When discussing Kesha's chorus:
    Kesha: "Let's make a night..."
    RC: Or a song.
    Kesha: ...you won't remember!
  • "I can't remember one song from this man that didn't talk about being in a club. As far as I remember, his topics range from, 'Party party party, and drink drink drink!' to 'Party party party, and drink drink drink! But, like, in another country this time...'"
  • His rant on radio stations cutting one-off rap verses out of pop songs. Afterward:
    "Wait, what was I talking about again? Oh yeah Pitbull! Sorry, I got distracted by...something that's interesting... note 

Show Me

  • "Girl, you remind me of... something. I can't remember what it was... but how about you help me remember by having sex with you? (smug smile) Yeah."
    • Followed up by:
    "Girl, you remind me of... Look, I'm rich and famous and want to have sex with you. Can we just skip to the part where we-" "Yeah, sure!" "Okay, let's go."

What's Luv by Fat Joe ft. Ashanti

  • Ja Rule's voice fading into the chorus out of nowhere, which the Rap Critic interprets as him being so ubiquitous in 2002 that he began haunting R&B recording sessions like some kind of raspy, incoherent ghost.
  • The reinterpretation of Fat Joe's opening lyrics:
    Rap Critic!Girlfriend: I love you, but I want to make sure our relationship is based on us trusting each other.
    Rap Critic!Fat Joe: I don't do oral sex.
    Rap Critic!Girlfriend: [1] Okay, I don't think that directly relates to what I was talking about.
    Rap Critic!Fat Joe: Oh, um... You can trust that I won't do oral sex?
    Rap Critic!Girlfriend: This isn't gonna work out.
  • He also reinterprets Ashanti's lines about wanting Fat Joe on top of her less as, "I don't want your cash, just hold my hand" and more as "I don't want any money, just rupture my spinal cord!".

Loyal by Chris Brown

  • After he tries to look at "Loyal" with fresh eyes, not comparing it to other songs: "Hit me, Chris Brown." [beat] "Oh, damn it."
  • The loooong montage of Lil Wayne's poop jokes, where he calls himself "the shit" (meaning awesome) while referencing the act of defecation. The Rap Critic was actually surprised that calling himself "the shit" in this song didn't lead into a poop joke.
  • He complains about rappers' tendency to make song about taking your girlfriend. He recommends that anyone who's ended a relationship due to infidelity avoid Hip-Hop stations. He then plays a barrage of clips from rap songs (including 'Take Your' by David Banner) to illustrate the point. Hilariously enough the last song is a fictional song that he wrote that illustrates how rap songs that aren't about that subject manages to fit it in somehow.
    Yeah, we gettin' turned up
    We gettin' turned up
    We gettin' turned up
    While we're havin' sex with someone else's wife!
    We gettin' turned up
    We gettin' turned up, yeah (I don't respect relationships!)
  • The brief Imagine Spot where Chris Brown's attitude towards the boyfriends his groupies deceive ("You just spent your bread on her / And it's all for nothin'!"), yet his frustration that they won't cooperate with his sexual appetites, is compared to the bad guy getting betrayed by the vamp when she falls in love with the hero.
    Villain!Critic: (Booming laughter) After all the love and affection you gave her... you didn't realize that Catherine was on my side the entire time! Take him down! (Beat) I - I said, she was on my side the entire time! Take him down! (Chuckles nervously) C-Catheri -
    (Gun clicks off-screen)
    Villain!Critic: (Raises hands) Oh... oh.

21 Questions by 50 Cent

  • His reaction to 50's optimism.
    50 Cent: New York City! You are now riding… with 50 Cent!
    The Rap Critic: Well, according to this video, you're riding in the back of a cop van. I wouldn't exactly call that your finest hour.
    50 Cent: You gotta love it!
    The Rap Critic: Personally, I think riding in the back of a police vehicle kind of sucks, but whatever.

Work It by Missy Elliot

Pills N Potions by Nicki Minaj

  • His reaction to the video's product placement of Beats by Dre Pills. Because ya know...Pills and Potions?

We Dem Boyz by Wiz Khalifa

  • On the lyric "Foreign girls call me sexy," Rap Critic theorizes that the reason specifically foreign girls call Wiz Khalifa sexy is because they don't know how the English term for "freakishly skinny."
  • When Wiz Khalifa says "Man, did you see her interior?" when talking about women, Rap Critic can only interpret that as referring to actual physical innards.
    The Rap Critic: That's serial killer talk, dude.

Ridin' by Chamillionaire & Krayzie Bone

  • His growing horror at the fact that while Chamillionaire and Krayzie Bone seem to blaming their vehicular arrests on racial profiling, they also describe committing almost every crime on the books, from smoking blunts in the back seat to random drive-by murders to swerving a SUV at over one hundred miles per hour onto the sidewalk while intoxicated.

Gangsta's Paradise by Coolio

  • He tries to analyze why Coolio was never quite taken seriously as either a serious artist or a threatening presence, until realizing abruptly that it was the upright dreads:
    Rap Critic (as Coolio): I refuse to bow down to any law written by a white man. And neither will my hair!note 
  • At the end of the song, he points out that like the previous song, it was also parodied by Weird Al, leading him to say that he wasn't doing it on purpose.

Studio by ScHoolboy Q

Anaconda by Nicki Minaj

Whatta Man by Salt N' Pepa

  • Rap Critic starts setting himself up as the ideal man Salt N' Peppa are singing about, including playing jazzy music and claiming he hasn't been wearing pants the whole time during his reviews.
  • Echoing a line from the song (itself inspired by the song "My Name is Not Susan" by Whitney Houston), he also affirms that he will never refer to his date as "Susan". Even if that actually is her name.

Fight The Power by Public Enemy

  • His parody of Chuck D timestamping the song in the opening line:
    The Rap Critic: Hey kid, let me show you some real hip-hop.
    Chuck D!Critic: This song's really old, so you can't relate to it as much as this person would want you to.
    • "Yeah, that's right, Chuck D and Flava Flav are lettin' you know what time it is!" (Flav holds out his clock necklaces) "...Thank you, Flava Flav, for the illustration."

I Don't Fuck With You by Big Sean ft. E-40

  • "Shut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up, Big Sean! Shut! The fuck! Up!"

FourFive Seconds by Rihanna, Kanye West, & Paul McCartney

  • RC getting interrupted by someone, whose camera was supposedly taken by RC to film the episode. She demands a crossover, which RC refused. The episode then ends without any mention of the song advertised in the title. April Fool's!

G.D.F.R by Flo Rida

  • The bait-and-switch at the beginning of the episode, in which RC implies that he will review "See You Again" by Wiz Khalifa and Charlie Puth, before he realizes people might get angry at him for tearing it apart.
  • RC's reaction to the line "Spending this As-salamu alaykum."
    Guy 1!Critic: "Yeah we 'bout ta see some girls tonight!
    Guy 2!Critic: "Yeah that's right! I'm throwin' these how-ya-doin's in the air!
    Guy 1!Critic: "Eh, what?"
    Guy 2!Critic: "Yeah! I'm spendin' all my top-o'-the-morning-to-ya's!"
    Guy 1!Critic: "What the fuck are you talking about?"
  • "Oh yeah, Sage the Gemini's on this track. Allow me to welcome him with the typical "Sage the Gemini greeting." (deadpan) "Yaaaay."
    • And the Sage the Gemini jokes don't stop there. RC wonders what it would be like if Sage collaborated with Cake, and plays Cake's "The Distance" and Sage's "Gas Pedal" side by side.
    "Come see the masters of monotone in all their boring glory! Coming to a sleep study laboratory near you! With guest opening act Steven Wright!"

Nasty Freestyle by T-Wayne

  • RC barely discussing the lyrics beyond the first couple of lines due to those being the only real parts of the song Vine viewers have even heard. He cares so little for most of the song that he doesn't even give it a rating.
  • RC realizes that he might be helping the song chart by including it in his video, so he plays a two second loop of his own songs as Masta Artisan in an attempt to boost its stream count for the charts.

Hip Hop Is Dead by Nas ft. will.i.am

  • RC's reaction to the line "Roll to every station, murder the DJ", and the skit that follows:
    RC: Oh wow, so you're gonna go to every station and murder every DJ?
    RC!Nas: [breaks through the wall into the studio] YOU'RE THE REASON WHY HIP HOP IS DYING!
    RC!Radio DJ: But, our station doesn't play rap music.
    RC!Nas: THAT'S EXACTLY MY POINT!!! [shoots gun]

All Eyes On You by Meek Mill ft. Chris Brown & Nicki Minaj

Crank That (Soulja Boy) by Soulja Boy

Hotline Bling by Drake

  • "When was the last time we really look towards rappers for dance moves?"
    • Which is immediately followed by clips of "Watch Me (Whip/Nae Nae)," "Crank That (Soulja Boy)," and "Hot Nigga."
  • "And by the way, yes, I am going to review this blatant R&B song, because fuck it, if he can have half of his discography be R&B songs and still be considered a rapper, I can review this and still be considered a Rap Critic."
  • When arguing that Drake telling the woman of the song to "be a good girl" sounds really condescending, RC tries it himself with his actual girlfriend.
    Rap Critic: Hey Jess?
    Lady Jess: Yeah?
    Rap Critic: Could you be a good girl and-
    Lady Jess: I'll be a good girl and punch you in your fucking face if you say that again.
    Rap Critic: Yeah, I figured.

Me, Myself, and I by G-Eazy ft. Bebe Rexha

  • A minute into the review, Rap Critic starts describing G-Eazy's first verse on "Me Myself, and I", only to Smash Cut into an unused segment from the previous "Woo Hah!! Got You All in Check" review. When he reaches the end of that segment:
    Rap Critic: Now, like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted by... myself...
    [Smash Cut]
    Rap Critic: And now back to the original video!
    [Zoom into Rap Critic's mouth, another Smash Cut]
    Rap Critic: Huh? Oh, uh... I had nothing else to say; this was totally a joke video.

Low Life by Future ft. The Weeknd

  • Regarding Future's lyrics that make himself seem like a terrible person to a ridiculous degree:
    Rap Critic: "Yeah, and in case there's any parents out there that just happen to tune in, I'm teaching your children not to respect authority, I hate American values, and uhhh, hail Satan!"
    • Seconds later, when Future reinforces this idea by flat-out saying he wouldn't tell a girl he's sorry if she finds him actively cheating on her, this mock exchange happens:
      Rap Critic!Wife: *in tears* I found you cheating on me! Why!? After all these years of marriage! What do you have to say for yourself!?
      Rap Critic!Future: *happily* Absolutely nothing! Especially not sorry, because I am a terrible person! Ah ha ha ha — Hail Satan.
      Rap Critic!Wife: *confused Double Take*
  • Questioning the religious ramifications of Future wearing a diamond-encrusted gold cross necklace, and comparing that to Vietnam's national soccer team using a flame-engulfed Buddhist monk as its mascot.
    Rap Critic!Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the burning mooonks!

Stressed Out by 21 Pilots

  • While discussing a line regarding growing up and coming of age, RC goes on an increasingly fast, slightly Reality Subtext-laden venting.
    Rap Critic: When we're young, we're told that when we grow up, all our irrational fears would be understood, and that we'll be braver and stronger people for it, but all that's happened is that those irrational fears of the dark and the Boogeyman have been with 'tangible' fears, like being one missed paycheck away from homelessness, and wasting your life at a dead-end job, [slowly getting faster and more frantic] worrying that the pressures to go to college was a ruse that did nothing but abuse your aspirations in exchange for massive debt that will take your whole life to pay off for something that may or may not have even benefited you in a way that was worth the money you were predetermined to sign away when you were young and still trying to figure out your life in this crazy world, and even if it didn't benefit you, was that what you really wanted, or were you pressured into it by peers and expectations? Can you tell I'm about to graduate?
  • "Yeah, 'cause as we all know, rap stands alone! ...Well, with R&B.".

Panda by Desiigner

  • RC jokes about rap radio stations only playing local underground artists at timeslots like Sundays at 11:00 PM, "because, you know, they play real hip-hop! When no one's awake."

All the Way Up by Terror Squad

Wicked by Future

  • When Rap Critic hears the absurd amount of annoying beginning producer-tags, he responds with suggesting they credit anybody with a passing contribution to the song:
    DJ Eskimo: DJ Eskimo City, the coolest-
    Man 1: Co-produced by Killa Man on the track!
    Man 2: Executive produced by Big Daddy-
    Man 3: Catering provided by Airm-
    Man 4: Also my mom sent us some of her oatmeal cookies, so you know, shout out to her too!
  • RC's attempts to decipher what the hell Future is even saying during the chorus:
    Future: Weooweooweooweoo* ...
    Rap Critic: "Wiggle wiggle wiggle?"
    Future: Wiggiwigoweooweoo...
    Ling: Wee-ooh wee-ooh wee-ooooh...
    Future: Wiggiweeooweooweooweoo...
    Patrick Star: WEE-WOOH WEE-WOOH WEE-WOOH!
  • RC's summary of the song:
    Rap Critic: I can't figure out anything that's going on in this song! Why is the chorus just one lazily-pronounced word that people don't even normally use outside of New England!? Why does it seem like nothing rhymes in this rap song!? And why is that guy [in the music video] throwing money at a stripper on a television!? You realize she can't collect those, right? Are you just going to awkwardly pick those up when you're done?

Purple Lamborghini by Skrillex ft. Rick Ross

  • Despite saying he likes it, the lyrical deficiencies make the Critic question why. Then the bass drops, and he head-bobs so hard his glasses fall off.

Broccoli by Big Baby D.R.A.M. ft. Li'l Yachty

Bad and Boujee by Migos ft. Li'l Uzi Vert

  • Rap Critic is already losing patience with the song for squandering it's potential to be interesting and turning into yet another cliched "sex, guns and drugs" rap song (not to mention having the word "boobies" in it, which RC says sounds very childish when a grown man says it). But then he completely loses it in Lil Uzi Vert's verse when Uzi spouts the particularly lazy and half-assed lyric "You know we is winnin and not losin".
    Rap Critic: What the fuck am I listening to?! What type of Kindergarten reading level, Fischer-Price, my-first-rap-song bullshit is this?!
  • Rap Critic swears so much during this episode, because of how much the song broke him, one of the comments on YouTube jokes that this episode has more curse words than all of his other videos combined.

Why? by Jadakiss

  • Contrasting Todd's earlier approach, the review takes the form of a fictional conversation the Rap Critic has with Jadakiss, and focuses almost entirely on why Jada claims to be asking the big questions, but keeps veering off to brag about how wealthy, cool, and successful he is, while also whining that he's not successful enough, with most of the remaining "questions" either being lightweight Bush-era musings or genuinely offensive. RC's Jadakiss impression somehow manages to be ridiculous yet uncanny.
    Why my diesel have fiends in the spot on the floor for days?
    Rap Critic: What?! That's not social commentary, that's just you bragging about the quality of your heroin!
    Jadakiss: Okay, aight, smart guy, but answer me this — why did my friend drive a motorcycle when he should've driven a Ferrari, that one time, that I'm not going to specify?note 
    Rap Critic: I, ih — huh?
    Jadakiss: Why can't I drive an expensive light-brown luxury vehicle?
    Rap Critic: Wwwwwhy does that matter?
    Jadakiss: Why doesn't the CL600 Mercedes-Benz come with a STICK SHIFT?!
    Rap Critic: Is this song just about cars now?
    Jadakiss: Why do your friends always wanna PARTY, but they never wanna KILL PEOPLE? Why do you reach for my CIGARETTES, if you don't SMOKE? Why do HOMELESS PEOPLE hold up SILLY SIGNS about their ALCOHOLISM?!
    Rap Critic: [Disquieted] Is this the state of political hip-hop in 2004...?

Antidote by Travis Scott

  • Rap Critic mentions needing to calm down because he's been "sucking so hard" at Injustice 2.
  • The song begins a bizarre self-contradiction:
    Travis Scott: Don't you open up that window. Don't you let out that antidote...
    Rap Critic: Yeah, let that high permeate in your vehicle, filling your lungs with that good spirit.
    Travis Scott: Poppin' pills is all we know!
    Rap Critic: Yeah, I... wait, I thought we were talking about weed! We're talking about popping pills now? I thought when you said "Don't let out the antidote," you were referring to not opening up the windows, which would let the smoke out. But if pills is what you're referring to and saying that that is all you know, well... is there some idiot dangling an open bottle of Xanax out the car window or something?
    • Not too long later, we get this:
      Travis Scott: Who that at the front door? (Who that is?) If it's the feds, oh no-no-no! (Don't let 'em in!)
      Rap Critic: Well, gee, maybe if somebody weren't hanging their arms out the window with a fistful of illegally-gained prescription drugs, this wouldn't be a problem, now would it? Seriously, unnamed friend of Travis Scott, what the hell is wrong with you? [hears something offscreen] Oh, he... passed out from taking too much Xanax? S-someone should probably help him...
  • "And of course he had to bring up your girl being at the night show because, I mean, what's mainstream rap song without an inexplicable obsession with emasculating the audience?"
  • When Travis Scott lets out a really high-pitched "OOOOH!", we get this response from RC:
    "AAAALVIIIIN! You apologize for interrupting the man who's masking his vocal deficiencies with played-out Auto-Tune right now!"
  • When Travis Scott brags about blowing through a paycheck on one weekend, Rap Critic has a brief panic attack before saying that rap songs like this should come with a disclaimer, which he delivers in a Sophisticated as Hell manner before punctuating it with a "The More You Know" vanity plate:
    ''DISCLAIMER: This balling out of control was done by a stunt rapper in a closed course. Do NOT attempt to ball on his level. You WILL end up sleeping in a box by the end of the month. In fact, don't let these lyrics fool you: you have NO idea about the actual financial stability of these rappers. These fools could be broker than you. I'm sayin', if you make $100,000 but spend $100,000 on diamonds and strip clubs to show off how rich you are, you aren't really that rich anymore, are you? Put it like this, have you ever seen a rapper in court for child support? Yeah, all of a sudden, their bank account starts sounding REAL unremarkable. And personally, I'm more likely to believe a person's words when legal proceedings are involved than when they're in a rap song, ya feel me? Just sayin', "Don't let these rap songs get you fucked up."
  • Rap Critic gets unnerved by the song's Mood Whiplash when Travis Scott starts talking about dying, going crazy, dealing with "bitches that might be related", and kicking photographers for not getting his good side. Then Rap Critic notices a brief shot of Travis Scott reading the Bible in the video:
    Rap Critic: [in a deep voice] Blessed are the cameramen, for they shall inherit this boot to the head if they don't get this Goddamn angle right!

The Story of OJ by Jay Z

Rake It Up by Yo Gotti & Mike WiLL Made-It ft. Nicki Minaj

Slam by Onyx

Motorsport

The Message by Grandmaster Flash & the Furious Five

  • This episode was done in the style of an early-1980s public-access show. As such, there are a few fourth-wall-breaking references to this format:
    • When RC encounters a reference he understands, he explains that he can't look it up because he doesn't own an encyclopedia and the library is closed.
      Hip-Hop Analyst: Yo, I can’t want for the Internet to become a thing.

New Jack Hustler by Ice T

  • The intro:
    Rap Critic: Yo wassup, it's your boy Riggity-riggity-rap rizza-rizza-Crizzitic, a.k.a. the Wack Lyric Killa! ...Okay, I'm not actually gonna do that.
  • RC starts the episode by discussing the lost art of movie tie-in rap songs, and starts to show the Black Panther soundtrack album as an example... before suddenly replacing it with a plug for the song he made for Lindsay Ellis' review of Bright.
  • "I don't think I need to play you examples of the music Dr. Dre was making before he joined N.W.A... (Cue a clip of "Surgery" by World Class Wreckin' Cru) But it's so much fun to do it anyway!"

Bitches N Marijuana by Chris Brown & Tyga feat. ScHoolboy Q

  • During ScHoolboy Q's verse, all the letter 'H's in the on-screen lyrics are written in uppercase, mirroring how ScHoolboy himself spells his name.

Victory by Puff Daddy ft. Busta Rhymes & Notorious B.I.G.

    The Worst Lyrics I Heard... 

November 2010

  • Comparing Mystikal's incoherent rapping to Yosemite Sam in full-on rant mode.
  • The "Arab Money" segment:
    RC!Producer 1: Okay, Busta Rhymes is about to release his new album, and we need to decide what should be the lead single. Should it be "Don't Touch Me Now", a song that returns to Busta's high energy that people have been waiting for for years, and that we already shot the music video for?
    RC!Producer #2: No, no, no!
    RC!Producer #1: Well, what about "We Made It", a song that blends rap and rock in a way that hasn't sounded this good since Aerosmith and Run–D.M.C.! Also, we already shot the music video for that too.
    RC!Producer #2: No, no, no. That won't work either. What else do you have?
    RC!Producer #1: Well, there's that song with the T-Pain ripoff and the racially insensitive chorus.
    Ron Browz: Shlailalila haleleehailo! Hidibailai eh, haidi ailo!
    RC!Producer #2: Oh, you mean "Arab Money"?
    RC!Producer #1: Well, on the song they pronounce it as...
    Ron Browz: AY-RAB MONEY!
    RC!Producer #2: Ha! Put it out immediately!
  • Being unable to say anything about "I Miss My Homies" due to intense Narm.
    • (FRANKENSTEIN GROAN)

2010

Rap vs Metal Worst Chorus

September 2011

2011

  • "I'm not sure what 'give me what you got for a pork chop' means, but I'm pretty sure someone who hasn't hit puberty yet shouldn't be saying it."
  • The reference to "Fergie-itis."
  • The Mood Whiplash in "Ass On The Floor":
    Dirty Money: I give my soul to you
    Swizz Beatz: When you in the club, getcha ass on the floor
    Rap Critic: (pointing at subtitles) Uh, are these statements related?
    • And then he does that to another song ("Feel Good Inc."):
    2D: Windmill, windmill for the land...
    Rap Critic: By the way, you're supposed to be dancing to this!
  • And then this gem:
    Lil Wayne: If I die today, remember me like John Lennon!
    Rap Critic: Uh... no.
  • "Maybe-if-I-rap really-fast people-won't understand-that-I'm-not really-saying-anything."
  • Describing "Dance (A$$) Remix" as the following:
    • The sound of inebriation.
    • The running commentary in a pervert's mind as he walks down the street, complete with him imitating one with his eyes darting back and forth.
    • The soundtrack to the Show Within a Show from Idiocracy
    • Then, later in his assessment of "Dance (A$$) Remix":
    Big Sean: Ass, ass, ass, ass, ass....
    Rap Critic: "Cut it out already!"
    Big Sean: "Now stop -"
    Rap Critic: "Thank you!"
    Big Sean: "Now make that motherfucker hammertime!"
    Rap Critic: "No, don't make it hammertime! Wait, what does that even-"
    *sampled cracked out Hammertime music plays*
    Rap Critic: *confused, horrified expression* What....
    • Don't forget about the intro to the segment. The #2 and credit graphics pop up over Big Sean saying "ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS", cut to Rap Critic Face Palming... and then cut to the #1 graphic, as though he didn't need to say anything more to make the point, before he comes back and tears the song apart like it deserves.

March 2012

  • BITCHES BE WORSHIPIN' ME IN THE SYNAGOGUE, DOUBLE D!
    • Even funnier, the "Worst Lyrics I've Ever Heard... March 2012" was posted on blip... second of March.
    • Even more funnier? The #6 and #1 worst lyrics are from the same song, and the #4 and #2 lyrics are also from the same song.
  • From the #5 worst lyric:
    Mariah Carey: I got ya all fired up with your Napoleon Complex, seeing right through you like you're bathing in Windex.
    Rap Critic: Is the person who's obsessed with you a window?
  • From the #2 worst lyric:
    Nicki Minaj: I got em scared, shook, panicking. Overseas, Church, Vatican
    Rap Critic: These are the ramblings of a homeless person. She looked out a window one day, saw a homeless guy talking to himself, and wrote down everything he said.
    • Rap Critic's exasperated expression during the #1 Worst Lyric, in which Nicki Minaj sustains a particularly long note. He then concludes that Minaj (who pretty much dominated the list) wrote so many bad songs on purpose so he would talk about her on his show and promote her album.
    Rap Critic: ...And I gave you the satisfaction. I feel used.

April 2012

  • Rap Critic's deadpan expression during the #5 worst lyric ("Have a baby by me, baby: be a millionaire!").

June 2012

  • The Caption Humor throughout the video for the label description.
    #5: Owned by Universal
    #4: Owned by Universal
    #3: Owned by Universal *Dear God, they DO own everything*
    #2: Indepently Owned *Not even Universal would take this...*
    #1: Owned by Take a wild guess
  • Rap Critic becomes distracted from making an analysis about "E.I." by Nelly because of a strange grunting noise in the song...which RC promptly compares to Scooby-Doo.
  • For "Wadsyaname" (which, the subtitles confirm, is how the song is actually spelled), RC explains how the trope of asking for a girl's name and Zodiac sign was played out since The '90s, showing a clip from the "Big Poppa" video of a guy (whom the subtitles inform us would be Nelly in '94) getting shot down for doing so.
    • And when he rhetorically asks what kind of girl would be interested in Nelly for asking those questions, the song answers him.
  • His take on the Condescending Wonka meme.
    "You sampled a song from a children's movie? You must be so hardcore."

July 2012

  • On "Wait (The Whisper Song)" by Ying Yang Twins: "Look at how that woman sucks her thumb! She is in need of penile attention, no doubt. Ying Yang Twins to the rescue!"
  • On "This is Why I'm Hot" by Mims:
    • "This is why I was hot / for about fifteen minutes / 'cause after this I won’t have any other hits (Mims!)"
      • Punctuated by the brief Aside Glance Rap Critic gives after the "Mims!" call-out in the background.
    • "And then the whole world said, 'Hey, that's not a bad idea. In fact, we like the idea of you saying nothing so much, we're going to never listen to you again."
  • After hearing a song from The Game where Dr. Dre drops a line to look out for the long-delayed Detox album, he points out that the song came out in 2005 and proceeds to go on a big rant about the album still not being out in 2012 and how Dre took a break rather than finish it.
  • Even better, when Rap Critic is just about to finish the video, his cell phone rings...revealing that his ringtone is the #2 song from the list. Rap Critic mutters a sheepish "Shut up" before answering the phone.
    • Some of the lyrics form said song are just priceless:
    The Dream: Part of me feel so bad but oooooh not that bad!
    The Dream: And I pray that y'all ain't serious, cause seriously she's on my dick!
    Rap Critic: There is no way that this song isn't a joke. It just has to be a—I really hope this song is a joke.

October 2012

  • With regards to "Make Her Say" by Kanye West, Kid Cudi, and Common, the Rap Critic mentions that he hates when his favorite rappers turn out dumb club jams when they've proven they can do better. Smash Cut to "Areola" by Tech N9ne, which is the next song on his list. Followed by the Rap Critic jamming out to the song in question.
    Rap Critic: ...What? Just because it's not good doesn't necessarily mean I can't like it!
  • In Eminem's "Cleaning Out My Closet", he brings up that he would never diss his mom for recognition. So Rap Critic proceeds to play five different songs of Eminem doing just that.
  • For the #1 pick, Rap Critic comments on how ridiculous it is that Tyga is claiming that any criticism towards mainstream hip-hop artists from conscious rappers is just because they are haters. Then he does a sketch to illustrate by using the examples of playing in traffic and getting run over and eating too much and having a heart attack.

2012

  • Opening the video, the Rap Critic muses on how much of an improvement for rap music 2012 was over the previous year. Among his reasons, he states that not one dance craze from a bad rap song went viral. Cue "Gangnam Style".
    Rap Critic: Hey, that one doesn't count. I like that song.
  • On #6, a line by Kanye West referencing Kim Kardashian, he brings up the suggestion that Kim's first marriage may have been a publicity stunt, and then says...
    Rap Critic: Either you're in on this elaborate publicity-generating machine, or I eagerly await the release of 808's and Heartbreak Part 2.
  • His reaction to some of the lyrics in "Rack City"
    Tyga: I got your grandma on my dick...
    Rap Critic: ...What?
  • "Homoooo! The only three words you should say to a woman in bed after sex are 'where's,' 'my,' and 'sandwich'!"
  • His Stunned Silence in response to the #1 worst lyrics is just golden.
    • On top of that, his rant on the declining quality of Nicki Minaj as a rapper, which takes up a third of the video.

March 2013

  • Rap Critic's reaction to 2 Chainz's "I'm so high, like an addict" line. It's his tone that does it.
    Rap Critic: [As 2 Chainz.] Yeahhh, I'm on drugs, like... like someone who's known for doing drugs a lot! [Beat.] I-I'm not too good at this simile thing. ...Also, I'm really high.
  • The whole "WHOA" segment extrapolates a homoerotic-sounding line to its tragic conclusion and demolishing several lines in the process.
    Finger near a nigga's asshole like WHOA.
    Felt weird, but I kinda liked it like WHOA.
    Made me question my sexuality like WHOA.
    Experimenting with other men like WHOA.
    That's when my dad walked in like WHOA.
    Wait, please, Dad, I can explain like WHOA.
    My Dad says I Have No Son! like WHOA.
    Now my life is filled with misery and WOE."

June 2013

  • Another extended beatdown on Encore, with the laugh in "Just Lose It" even being described as "THAT FUCKING DEMON BELCH FROM HELL".
  • Finding out Limp Bizkit signed to Lil Wayne's Young Money label and asking "who's next, Paris Hilton?"

July 2013

  • "This stuff is so lame I don't think I can't ever laugh again!" Cue a replay of #5, "I take sacks to the face whenever I can"
  • A rap beef song has RC enthuastic at first... and then he goes "wha?" to "You can't got the skills to eat a nigga's ass like me!".

2013

  • On Migos's "Versace":
    Migos: Versace took over, it took out my soul!
    Rap Critic: Oh... wow... you sold your soul to Versace for a hit song, huh? I hope the eternal flames of hell was well worth peaking at... number 99 on Billboards Top 100.
  • On Migos's "Hannah Montana", in which the group says the titular character over and over again, in reference to doing cocaine.
    Rap Critic: "The Wiggles, The Wiggles, The Wiggles, The Wiggles! When this song comes on, it makes her ass do the wiggles!"
  • His interpretation of Jay-Z walking down the street when a homeless guy is trying to give out some lyrics to Jay-Z that would end up being used in Jay-Z's "Cake" song.
  • Mocking Drake for saying he has no new friends...despite the fact that DJ Khaled, whom Drake did not meet until after he became famous, screams his name in the opening.
    • Also, his linking to the tumblr that shows all of the new friends Drake has made since becoming a successful rapper.
  • Rap Critic's thoughts on Kanye West
    Rap Critic: I mean, If you ask me, I think the problem is probably that he just has a bunch of yes men around him and no one to tell him when something's a bad idea, but you know what? What do I know? The man's given us some great music, he's a musical genius, so I'm sure he's fine. Let's ask the man himself. Kanye, are you alright?
    Kanye: I'M JESUS!!!
    Rap Critic: See, he's fine!
    • There's also the bit right before that, where Kanye for the second time in the song, references a character from Martin Lawrence's TV show from the 90s, when the song in question is supposed to be about a romantic relationship.
    Rap Critic: Yup, Jerome's in the house, so WATCH YOUR MOUTH.
    (Shot goes blurry.)
    Rap Critic: Bound to falling in love. ...I can't be the only one who thinks these things don't sound thematically related, right?
  • "Ladies and gentlemen, without insult or exaggeration, I would like to tell you that this next song by Future... is "Shit"!
    • His assumption that Future recorded said song with his hand held to a hot stove and he couldn't take it off until he finished recording the song — complete with miming said situation.
  • His parody of J. Cole's Digging Himself Deeper.
    Rap Critic: Yeah, I'm like Eminem because I be killing these f***ots! I mean, wait, no, I don't be like really killing these f***ots! 'Cause I'm cool with these f***ots! I mean, you just stop being so sensitive about the word "f***ot", you f***ot! I mean, That Came Out Wrong. I mean, no, wait, what I meant to say was that I love being with gay men! I mean, I don't love being with gay men, but, like, no, you're homophobic because you thought I was saying I was being with gay men, I mean, I mean, just because you're gay doesn't mean you have to have sex with men, I mean, no wait, what I meant to say was, oh, wait!! No, don't turn off the song, let me explain!
  • Paris Hilton's "Good Time", ft. Lil Wayne
    Paris: (But that's OK, because you're) with me...
    Beat
    Wayne: ...I'm fucked up.
    Rap Critic: You don't say.

February 2014

  • His critique of Young Thug's "Picacho" was just full of dry sarcasm.
    Rap Critic: "So let's see what this 'Young Thug' has to say."
    Young Thug: PIKACHU!
    Rap Critic: "Oh no, please, allow him to elaborate."
    • "My diamonds, they say Cookie Monster! ...They say Cookie Monster! ...They say Cookie-"
  • His utter disbelief at how both Jay-Z and Nas seem to agree that the world of hip-hop was forever altered by the break-up of portly gimmick rappers The Fat Boys.
    "I mean, rest in peace, Buffy [Love] the Human Beatbox, but... they were pretty much the overweight Run–D.M.C.! Seriously, who the hell cares about The Fat Boys?"
  • Drake's "Miss Me", feat. Lil Wayne:
    Wayne: I walk light, so I don't piss the ground off...
    Rap Critic: Blah, blah, making— wait what?!
    Wayne: I walk light, so I don't piss the ground off...
    Rap Critic: Yeah... wouldn't wanna make the ground ang— why is that a concern for you?
    • The transition from #3 to #2 is hilarious.
    Rap Critic: Or has everyone just accepted the fact that Lil' Wayne is going to spout stupid stuff from now on. Have we just accepted that?
    (Screen showing #2 Worst Song): YES.
  • Lil Wayne's "Yes":
    Wayne: Yes I do it big, call me little astronomical, Weezy F. Baby and the 'F' is for phenomenal.
    Rap Critic: Lil Wayne... slap yo'self.

April 2014

  • The video's description:
    I will never forgive you, 2 Chainz... never...
  • His Big "NO!" reaction to "I Know You See It"'s comparison of fellatio to chewing gum.
  • And then there's this.
    Future: "Can you love me?"
    The Rap Critic: "Yeah, can you love him?"
    Future: "Can you love me?"
    The Rap Critic: "Can you truly love him?"
    Future: "Love me long time!"
    The Rap Critic: "Love him...What. The hell."
  • Later:
    The Rap Critic: "Am I the only one who thinks that quoting a hooker in a love song is a bad idea?" (shows Mariah Carey and Fergie using that same quote) "Okay, I guess it's just me."
  • This bit:
    Trinidad James: I don't fuck with no snitches. So don't tell me who's telling.
    Rap Critic: So you hate snitches so much, you don't even want people around you telling you who the snitches are?
    Trinidad James!Rap Critic: Man, I don't deal with snitching of any kind.
    Thug!Rap Critic: Yeah, man, I got you! Matter of fact, I heard Boogie Beats snitched on you, son. So we need to get out of here.
    Trinidad James!Rap Critic: Yo, yo, hold up homie, are you snitching right now?
    Thug!Rap Critic: (confused) Well, I mean technically yes, but...
    Trinidad James!Rap Critic: No, that don't go well for your character, son.
    Thug!Rap Critic: But...but I think he alerted the cops.
    Trinidad James!Rap Critic: Nah, son, I don't like snitches! Don't nobody say anything behind anyone's back in my crew!
    Cop!Rap Critic: (police sirens) This is the police! Come out with your hands up!
    Thug gives Trinidad James the Death Glare.
    Trinidad James!Rap Critic: Hey, at least, we went out like honorable gentlemen.

June 2014

August 2014

  • Nelly saying "shake it like a paraplegic", a group of people that are incapable of shaking their butts. To make it more hilarious, he captions his explanation with an image of Drake smiling in a wheelchair.
  • The Rap Critic trying to make sense of Rick Ross's Expedia line, only to realize he meant Wikipedia.
  • The Rap Critic's "conversation" with the lyrics in "I Don't Wanna Talk About it" by the G-Unit.
    50 Cent: I'm making millions quick.
    Rap Critic: Dude, alright, we know you have millions of dollars, alright! And honestly—
    50 Cent: And I don't wanna talk about it.
    Rap Critic: Wait, what?
    50 Cent: Nah, I don't wanna talk about it.
    Rap Critic: Oh, so I guess you're just as bored with bragging about money as we are. So we can end this song now right. Alright.
    50 Cent: I shot a nigga's kid and I don't wanna talk about it.
    Rap Critic: Oh, um? Well, I understand that it might be a little traumatic for you and you might not wanna talk about it. (impatiently) Alright, good bye.
    50 Cent: I fuck the baddest bitches, I don't want to talk about it.
    Rap Critic: You know what!? No one's making you! In fact, according to your album sales, no one wanted to hear G-Unit talk about anything.
    50 Cent: Go ahead, ask me what I'm ridin' in
    Rap Critic: Why?! So you can say you say you don't want to tell us.
    50 Cent: ...so I can say the Enzo. My bitch roll down the window. So I could feel the wind blow.
    Rap Critic: So what you're saying is "I don't want to talk about fancy cars and money. (turns to the wall, then looks back at the camera) Uh, unless you ask, then I want to talk about fancy cars and money."

2014

  • Rick Ross saying "Phone still tapped so it's best to send a text"
    Rap Critic: I don't know much about drug trafficking, but if you know you have a tapped phone the last thing you want to do is send printable evidence of your interactions. Of course, this is the same guy who thought Expedia & Wikipedia were interchangable so... he probably doesn't know that much about technology. Or drug dealing.
  • Comically Missing the Point on Birdman saying "Bag full of every president that ever died"
    Rap Critic: Why do you have a bag stuffed with the bodies of deceased presidents? And how did you fit Taft?
    • And later:
    Rap Critic: You know what? If this is what happens when you try to employ any literary technique that involves creativity, well, maybe you should stick to pointing out the expensive things in your house.
    Birdman: Guns in the basement, millions in the wall / GTV cases... Audomars and cigars and them new toys
    Rap Critic: There you go, nice and simple. No metaphors or creativity. That's too much work for you, just go back to being such a blatant commercial shill that I'm surprised AdBlock doesn't allow you to skip over his verses.
  • RC explains the problem with P. Diddy blatantly name-dropping Ciroc vodka in a protest song about police brutality by dubbing over old movie footage as such:
    RC!Woman: We want change in how the system works! We want revolution!
    (Crowd cheers)
    RC!Man: And this revolution should be brought to us by Coca-Cola!
    (Crowd boos)
    RC!Crowd: Nobody likes you, P. Diddy!
  • RC is baffled that in a rap verse that's supposed to diss Nicki Minaj, Lil Kim aims no disses at Nicki and only makes references to oral sex. He concludes that Kim was trying to convey that she gives better blowjobs than Nicki.
    • "I'm willing to help solve this. If that's what you were concerned about, Lil Kim, here. I'm sure we can all tacitly agree that you can have the title of 'Best Oral Sex Giver in Hip Hop'. And Nicki Minaj will just have to settle with the title of "Being Relevant.'"

March 2015

  • "I willingly listened to a Waka Flocka Flame song that was named 'Bad Decision'. I don't think I need to explain anymore".
  • "Watch out for your friends when they got a knife" leads Guy #1 to shoot Guy #2 dead while he is making a peanut butter sandwich.

May 2015

June 2015

  • RC realizes he's been getting gypped by the Tooth Fairy this whole time.
    Young Jeezy: Baby you can have whatever you like; the Tooth Fairy!
    Rap Critic: Wait, the Tooth Fairy gives you whatever you want? Well shit! As a kid, I just thought he just gave you dollars and quarters for teeth! Turns out apparently I've just been reaching too small!
  • On "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)":
    Nick Carter: Am I original?
    Rap Critic: Well, you're a boy band, so nooo-oh.
    Nick Carter: Am I the only one?
    Rap Critic: There’s five of you.
    Nick Carter: Am I sexual?
    Rap Critic: Eeeeww…
  • Wait, there's a remix of Royals featuring Rick Ross? And there's as much lyrical conflict as you would expect it to have.
    • "Do you think he probably just heard her say 'Grey Goose, Cadillacs, and Maybachs,' and was like, 'What? A song that names the car I've named my company after? Say no more, I'm on the remix! Nah, no need to tell me the incredibly apparent message clearly heard over stripped down musical production! I think I've got an idea of what to say!'"
  • RC gets through the first four entries on the list so quickly that most of the video turns into a rant on A Tribe Called Quest.

July 2015

  • "Did this song just start with a squeak?"
    Song Announcer: Set of the firewoiks! [squeak]
    Rap Critic: I’m pretty sure that's not what fireworks sound like.
  • On "Oh Boy" by Cam'Ron Feat. Juelz Santana, RC notes how stupid and gimmicky he finds it that every line in the song ends with "boy," claiming that any word would fit just as well. To make his point, he plays a clip with the ending of every line dubbed over with him shouting the word "penis."
    Cam'Ron: All the girls see the (PENIS), I'm telling ya (PENIS), put a shell in ya (PENIS), now he bleeding (MY PENIS). Where the fuck is my (PENIS), I've got trust for my (PENIS), that's why I fuck with my (PENIS), just me and my (PENIS).
    • And then, almost to illustrate the point, someone made this, where the full song was remade like that, complete with using RC's voice.
    • What makes it even better is that viewers have commented that the song makes more sense this way.
    • He also shuts down the idea that "boy" is a heroin reference:
      Cam'ron: I got trust for my (boy)
      Rap Critic: That would mean he has a deep-seated trust for a drug.
      Cam'ron: [I'll] put a shell in ya (boy) / Now he bleedin' (oh boy)
      Rap Critic: And here, he'd have to be talking about shooting heroin... shooting at heroin... You know what I mean!

November 2015

2015

  • "Synchronize her skin to his heartbeat? Unless you have the skin of a BLEEP chameleon I don't think that's gonna work!"
  • "Dick covered in Loreal, but I still couldn't make up" leads to an Imagine Spot regarding someone putting make-up on his penis.
  • On Lil' Wayne not knowing what truffle butter was while writing it into a song:
    Critic: Ladies who want to have sex with Lil' Wayne, look out. He has no problem with putting strange things on your vagina — and I don't just mean his face. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! [Gleefully.] Got 'im!

March 2016

  • Jay-Z singing about how sexy a song is... before name-dropping Scooby-Doo.

June 2016

  • How to test if a rap line works: do a stand-up routine on it.

October 2016

2016

  • RC's reaction to Young MA's famous "Head-phanie!".
    Critic: Boo...BOOO!
  • RC's reaction at J. Cole's "almond milk" line.
    Critic:"Oh, no! Not almond milk." What the fuck, almond milk not gangsta enough for you, J. Cole?! "Yeah, and we don't fuck with none of that sweet shit! Real thugs only drink 'two percent', you heard me!" It's fucking milk! Who gives a shit? Since when does a type of food signify how gangsta you are? Well, except for ice cream. Probably don't see too many gansta rapper licking on ice cream cones......."unless it's made with 'two percent', BITCH!
  • The top spot goes not to one lyric, but to a whole song: B.o.B.'s "Flatline". After spending an entire spot dissecting B.o.B.'s batshit-crazy beliefs, Critic sums it up succinctly.
    Critic: ...this nigga crazy.
    • RC ends the list by discussing how "Flatline" and other such crackpot conspiracy theories take attention and credibility away from discussions of actual corruption… only to come to the realisation that such conspiracy theories were, in fact, planted by societies like the "Illumi-nazis", the "Pizza Party", and the "Build-a-Bear corporations" to do just that. As he signs off, he takes off his usual hat to reveal a Tinfoil Hat underneath.

April 2017

  • The ending skit based off "Drug Dealer's Dream" where Rick Ross!Rap Critic counts the money for his friend in prison during a Skype call as his friend gets "hyped" during the exchange.
    • Earlier than that, RC is bewildered by the line "barely fit in a Lambo but did it for the appearance", which he takes as Rick Ross admitting that he's too fat to fit in a car. He further theorizes that this is why the video shows him jogging on a beach.
      RC!Rick Ross: One day I'll fit in that Lamborghini, goddamnit! One day!

September 2017

  • When he realizes that T.I.'s verse in Justin Timberlake's "My Love" deliberately goes against the message of JT's verses (rather than open declarations of love, TI completely blows the interest off), RC speculates how other love songs would play out if they had guest verses with a similarly opposing attitudes.
    Adele: So hello from the other siiiiide (Fuck old relationships! And fuck telephones!)
    Zayn: Pillow talk, my enemy (I kick bitches out of bed right after I nut!)
    Rihanna: Baby, this is what you came for (No it's not!)

December 2017

  • A vast majority of the episode is Black Comedy gold as RC attempts to come to terms with the very poorly-aged lyrics of rappers casually beating up women.
    • His attempts at trying to excuse the "My yacht will have a lady captain so I can smack them" lyric from "That's What I Want For Christmas" runs into an unexpected complication:
      Rap Critic: Am I missing something? Play the next lyric, maybe it'll give us some context.
      Showboys: My yacht will have a lady captain so I can smack them / get my gisgowatch, aleejet offdamalnote —
      Rap Critic: Uh...
    • He begins enjoying Del tha Funkee Homosapien's "Money For Sex", but as soon as Del hits the "that's why I slugged my honey dip" line, RC simply responds with a silent Jaw Drop.
    • Before and after breaking down KRS-One's "Say Gal", RC digresses to complain about how ugly the cover of the album Sex and Violence is.
      Rap Critic: What the fuck is even going on!? Why is there cheese on the ground?

2017

June 2018

  • RC trying to figure out what "trisim" means, leading to an urban dictionary definition of "shitting your pants, blowing your load, and getting sick."

October 2018

  • After realizing the skeletons in the Living Tombstone's remix of "Spooky Scary Skeletons" were misunderstood beings wanting to socialize with humans, RC brings up the fact that said skeletons would shriek their words. Cue a cartoon skeleton doing exactly that and RC leaving.

2018

  • Rap Critic attempts to figure out "Dr Octagon":
    Rap Critic: I even tried to do some background research on this weird guy; I mean, maybe the octagon is an important symbol within the mythos. Maybe he used to be a crossing guard or some shit, I dunno.
    Wikipedia: Octagon, who dubs himself the "paramedic fetus of the east"-
    Rap Critic: Okay, I think I’m done here, my curiosity is very much satisfied.
  • The next song, "King's Dead" by Jay Rock ft Future and Kendrick, causes him to rub his forehead in frustration for long enough that the editing attempts to move on to the next song without him, and he has to call it back.
    Rap Critic: This song sounds like Future heard all those other songs where Kendrick leaves rappers in the dust, his own included, so he figured "fuck it, just preemptively give up". You can't say he failed if he didn't try!
  • He comes up with an elaborate theory about Mickey Mouse's evil ghost attempting to take up rap by possessing Future's body.
  • Jay Rock rhyming "ready" with itself multiple times followed by rhyming it with "armageddon" boggles the Rap Critic so badly he can't even come up with a joke beyond pointing out that it just happened.

2019

2020

2021

  • When Drake insists on mentioning his wealth in every other line of the No. 8 song, RC speculates that he has a psychological inability to refrain from mentioning his wealth every few seconds.

    Other Top # Lists 
Top 8 Rap Songs of 2011
  • Not even bothering with the subtitles for Tech N9Ne.
    What? What do you want from me? My editing software doesn't let me copy and paste, and this would take a while to type! Look 'em up on your OWN time!
  • This part from #1: Hopsin's "Ill Mind of Hopsin 4"
    Hopsin: Hotter than UV ray/Hotter than the thought of Nicki Minaj naked, making her booty shake
    Rap Critic: You just made me think of that. I'm gonna need a moment...
    Caption: Rap Critic is going to need a moment to... uh... gather his thoughts... Quick! Cut to something!
    {*Cuts to Bad Meets Evil's "Fast Lane*}
    Eminem: And I hope that I don't sound too heinous when I say this/ Nicki Minaj, but I wanna stick my penis in your anus
    Caption: Classy move, editor...

Top 9 Strangest Ghostface Killah Lyrics

  • Really, all of the lyrics on this list count for how utterly bizarre and amusing they end up.
  • RC's reaction to Charli Baltimore in "Stand Up" saying this:
    Charli Baltimore: Throw a razor in my mouth on the low, and suck ya dick wit' it.
    Rap Critic: ...What?
    Ghostface: The world famous, priceless, steel stainless—
    Rap Critic: No, Ghostface Killah, this is how you should've responded!
    RC!Ghostface: World fa-*beat, followed by terrified stare*
  • After hearing the line "Blow like a steroid / Pat down Dan Aykroyd", RC incredulously asks, "What’s next, the RZA, the GZA, and Bill Murray?" Cut to the Jim Jarmusch film Coffee and Cigarettes, showing just that.
    Rap Critic: Wha-? ...What's next, a billion dollars waiting at my front door?
  • When trying to explain "Gorillas injected with strength of 80 midgets!", RC comes to the conclusion that "maybe Tony's serum only bumped them up to the strength of 56 men and one 7/28th of a man, which if you do your math equals to 80 midgets."
    Rap Critic: Pssht, duh!

Top 10 Worst Eminem Songs (featuring Mues!)

  • The fact that their bumper music is, quite fittingly, "We Made You".
  • Mues' reaction to "My First Single"'s random first verse.
    Mues: "Did you catch ANY of that? He didn't say anything there besides string a bunch of haphazard irrelevant words together, with zero meaning behind any of them!"
    Rap Critic: Oh, and by the way, this is the song that has the quite realistic sounds of someone crapping in your ear. On the chorus.
  • When they get to #3, "Just Lose It", the critic refuses to comment since he already reviewed the song, leaving Mues to do a quick improvised review. The critic comes back and is relieved that he never has to listen to it again, but then...
    Mues: (plays the laugh sound on his computer)
    Rap Critic: (Beat) ...I don't like you...

Top 6 Most Haunting Songs In Hip-Hop

  • The number 6 choice is 2Pac's "Hail Mary". He comments on the creepiness of Tupac's verse, especially with the context of the song being released after his death. He then says he can't say the same for the guest verses on the song.
    Black Thunder: Oddly enough this was the second song with a music video where 2Pac threatens someone else with his friends are spitting sub-par rhymes while a Jamaican guy meanders around vocally on the outro:
    Caption: "Hit 'Em Up" - 2Pac, feat. Outlaws and some Jamaican Guy
    Black Thunder: I... don't know why this was such a specific thing.

Top 6 Most Gut-Wrenching Eminem Songs

Top 6 BEST Insane Clown Posse Songs

  • Black Thunder: And for our last episode, I'll do something truly frightening, something no respecting critic in their right mind would ever do, compliment the Insane Clown Posse.
    (dun dun DAH!)
    Black Thunder: Hm, haven't heard that in a while.

Top 8 Best Rap Songs of 2015

  • This bit while discussing "Downtown", calling back to his #8 song:
    Critic: I've never even thought about buying a moped, but this song is so cool it kinda makes me wanna do it!
    Hopsin: Now the best type of marketing, is marketing that doesn't feel like marketing.
    Critic: Uh...hey, Hopsin, I wasn't gonna buy a moped, I was just checking the prices on a mo - a mo...at. A moat?
  • The many awesome lines from "Beast Mode" by Ludacris cause Rap Critic to scream and throw his hands up in the air, like he's riding on a roller coaster, only to cut to POV footage of an actual roller coaster ride.
  • For a bit of levity, in the middle of some very dark songs, he puts Drake's "Hotline Bling" in, claims it's a watershed moment for rap...then cracks up. It's not a new gag, but it's well executed.
    • What makes it funnier is that several music magazines actually had it on their best-of lists (including Rolling Stone and the Pazz and Jop critic's poll - they weren't kidding, either.)

The Worst Christmas Rap Songs I've Ever Heard

  • The Running Gag of "So... Ying Yang Twins/Insane Clown Posse made a Christmas album," culminating in saying "So... Afroman made an album — nah, I'm just kidding. He actually made two."
  • When describing how the Ying Yang Twins clearly only go the strip club on special occasions, RC describes this way:
    Critic: Hey, it's Christmas! Time to go to the strip club!
    Critic: Hey, it's close enough to my birthday! Time to go to the strip club!
    Critic: Hey, it's a... day ending in "y," time to go to the strip club!
    Critic: You can almost smell the halitosis.
  • While going through the InsaneClownPosse's "Santa Claus is a Fat Bitch," while calling them out for being a whiny child, RC manages to slip in calling the narrator "you little Cartman."
  • In a bit of meta humor, the bumper song used in the countdown is The Real Untouchable's "Christmas in the Ghetto." It's #4 in the list.
  • RC's obvious befuddlement at the sheer awfulness of Afroman's "Frosty." This carries on when the next song on the list is also from Afroman on the same album.
    • Before going to #1, he goes over some dishonorable mentions: The only mention is the rest of Afroman's "Jobe Bells."
    Critic: It really is -bleep-ing horrible.

The Best Rap Christmas Songs I've Ever Heard

  • The #2 song on this list is "Christmas In Harlem" by Kanye West. But after encountering a cringey sex reference, Rap Critic angrily bumps the song down a spot... and then another.

The Top 10 Best Rap Songs of 2018

  • RC's manic reaction to #9.

    Rap-Libs 
  • The running gag of each video having the word 'defenestrated', even if it ruins the flow.
    • To the point where he actually came in at the end of "Shake Ya Ass" just to say "Defenestration," then calmly walk back out.
  • His over the top miming.

Party Up (Up In Here) by DMX

  • "FONDLE my TEMPOROMANDIBULAR JOINT!"
  • "VACUUMS remind me of a strip club"."
  • "There goes the FLESHLIGHT, 911 SPATULA, all over some dumb SPATULA, ain't that some SPATULA!" Combined with his completely serious expression as he holds up a spatula closer and closer to the camera.
  • "And I don't know who the SNUGGIE you think you're talking to-"
  • "-SCROTUM a SPEEDO tried to diss you!"
  • "PROCTOLOGIST tellin' you the truth and it hurts!"

Move Bitch by Ludacris ft. Mystikal & I-20

  • "Oh nooo! The PENIS is out!" He then proceeds to look down at his fly.
  • "And you about to get run the GOAT over!" When it gets to 'goat', it cuts to him just shrugging, as if to say 'Hey, I don't know either.'
  • "Move, BANANA, get out the way, get out the way BANANA, get out the way! WEENIE!" And he actually pulls out a banana.
    • Partway through the chorus, his wild gesturing causes him to fall out of his chair; the rest of the song is done by him in a different outfit he was using for the other singer, implying the "first guy" was knocked out by the fall.
  • "Hear that DYSLEXIC crowd!" 'Og, og, og!'
  • "Is there a bumper on your BASAL GANGLIA...?" Combined with him holding up a laptop and looking confused.
  • "There's something wrong, we can't stay still!" He then holds still, before accidentally sneezing.
  • "No SPOON!" He then shakes a spoon at the camera.
  • At the line 'knock the curtains down', it cuts to him fighting with a curtain and falling over.

Put It in Your Mouth by Akinyele

  • The whole intro, where he hams it up completely and pretends to play along on a toy keyboard, which promptly fails, causing him to just walk away.
  • "Put it in my NOSE! (She said put it in her NOSE!) I said my MELLIFLUOUS NOSE! (She said her MELLIFLUOUS NOSE!)"
    • At one point, he gestures so hard he knocks his glasses off. A couple of repetitions later, it shows him putting them back on and looking a little abashed.
  • "I'll be like Herbie handing you a TOILET! [pulls out a small one, like the kind used for potty training]
  • His grin at the words "finger lubing" (combined with a shot of him pouring oil over his fingers).
  • "And SHANK Chap-Sticks!" He does it, too.
  • "I'm giving KITTENS permanent MITTENS!" Combined with him holding up the most bored and disgruntled cat ever.
  • When he uses 'defenestrating'', he mimes throwing something out a window and the subtitles flow in that direction, as if he literally defenestrated the subtitles.
  • The lyrics say 'apologin' as opposed to 'apologizing', so in the subtitles they have quotation marks around them and a question mark.
  • The last lyrics before the Smash to Black: "And catch these WET SUPPLE BUNS in your NOSE!" He turns, reaches around the back of his jeans and... pulls out a hot dog bun.

Shake Ya Ass by Mystikal

  • The end of the video has him slide into view, say "Defenestration" and slide out of view.
  • "All you KILLERS can't KNIT with me!" Cut to him actually knitting.
  • "Pay ya fare, fix ya hair, KISS that GERBIL!"
  • "SKIP over, TODD, show me what you're EATING with!"
  • "Show me what you're BAKING with!"
  • The way he smugly looks at himself in the mirror whenever he raps the "Watch yourself" part.
  • Two lines just turn into gibberish. He barely gets three words into them before just giving up.
  • "BURPIN' ICE and actin' like you doin' somethin' with me." The way he actually burps up actual ice cubes and has that surprised look at it sells it.
  • "I'm buying if you got MOIST PANTS for your iceberg!"
  • "SLURP a SQUEEGEE girl, pick up fifty!" The next shot is him nodding very seriously.
    • "And LEAVE that coward, girl, you need a real NAZI!" The shot after that has him side-eyeing himself.
  • "OCTOPUSES hurtin' SKELETONS!"
  • "SCRUB ya BUTT!" He holds up a shoe brush and nods.
  • "Attention, all y'all CRITICS and NERDS, right now in the place to be!" "EAT ya FOOD!"
  • "Now, this ain't for no SHY AARDVARKS, no sir 'cause that won't pass!"

Straight Outta Compton by NWA

  • For this episode, Rap Critic played a member of a church youth group, presenting a solution to cursing in popular music. His first attempt involved replacing the bad words in the Wu-Tang Clan's "Bring the Ruckus" with their hastily-delivered expanded definitions:
    "I rip it hardcore, like GRATUITOUSLY FILMED WOMEN / Me and groups of ghetto UNFATHERED CHILDREN with CONTRABAND FIREARMS / Check it, my method on the microphone's bangin' / Wu-Tang slang'll leave YOU VERY DISCOURAGED"
  • As for "Straight Outta Compton" itself...
    • "Straight outta Compton, crazy CLOSET CHRISTIAN named Ice Cube / From the gang called FLASHERS with attitude"
    • "Goin' off on a BALANCED BREAKFAST like that / With a TOWEL that's pointed at your COCCYX"
    • "ELECTROSTATIC HYDROLIZER is the tool (CAR HORNS)"
    • "I'm knocking BOXES out the box, daily"
    • "Here's a TACKY rap to keep y'all dancin' / With a CONDITION like GEORGE LUCAS"
    • "Ruthless, like a shadow in the dark, except when I DEFENESTRATE"
    • "Word to the SPHYGMOMANOMETER, straight outta Compton"
  • And at the end? "You know, on second thought, maybe we should just ban this music."

Guilty Conscience by Eminem ft. Dr. Dre

  • "Dude, what is it with you and hermaphrodites?" And the entire conversation that ensues.
  • "Yes, I know it looks like the same guy, it's his twin, don't worry about it!"
  • All the weird looks thrown around as Eminem's lyrics start getting weird.
  • "Man, LUBE that, FAP that PENIS, ANGRILY and TWERK!"
  • "You caught THE VATICAN cheating!"
  • "I'mma lick you, CACTUS!"
    • "Uh-uh, temper temper! Mr. Dre, Mr. N.W.A, Mr. STARFISH comin' Straight Outta Compton, y'all better make way!"
  • "Aww, BONK it, what am I saying, CHOKE 'em both Grady, where's your PENIS at?" *gagging noises accompanied by a picture of Grady with a big smile on his face*
  • "Now listen to me, while you're PUNCHING her GOAT and STABBING her GERBIL, I slipped this in her drink!" *cut to someone dropping a pair of scissors into a glass of water*

Real Nigga Roll Call by Lil Jon

  • The gusto with which Critic and his Channel Awesome compatriots perform it is already funny. Special points for Count Jackula's grills and Film Brain's "WASSUUUUP?"
  • "It's time for the real PRINGLES roll call!" Followed by everyone shouting out their favorite flavors and shoving Pringles in their mouths.
    • The credits show Critic Corpsing while trying to eat a ton of Pringles at once and Luke wondering if he's really this desperate to get attention.
    • The flavours mentioned include cocaine. And RC says "I'm pretty sure that was one!"
  • "Y'all MUFFINS can't chill with my MUFFINS, MOM! (RACIST CUPCAKE!) Y'all MUFFINS can't chill with my MUFFINS, MOM! (AWFUL HENTAI!)" Critic angrily stares at some muffins and Film Brain gags.
    • The cupcakes in question have "I ❤️ Racism" written across them in black icing.
  • "CRITICIZE that GARBAGE! DISRESPECT that CLOWN!" Starts off with him literally doing so until it turns into a Take That! toward The Life of Pablo.
  • "Get ya testifyin' MUES in the trunk, LOSER!"
  • "We in the club gettin' crunk, you in the club gettin' DEFENESTRATED!" Man, he must really like that word.
  • "We gangsta KITTIES from the west, puttin' COOKIES in ya BUTT!" Followed by everyone looking confused.

Juvenile - Back That Ass Up

  • "Girl, you workin' with some SPOONS yeah, you wrong yeah", accompanied by Lady Jess trying and failing to chop a potato with a spoon.
  • "Make a MONK change his KNICKERS yeah, (Aside Glance) his PANTIES yeah"
  • "You gon' SUCK in the BONE yeah, with GOD yeah", with Rap Critic choking on a chicken bone, then popping back up as a ghost.
  • "You could steal a CREAMY BAG yeah, of DICKS yeah"
  • "RUBIK'S CUBE DEFENESTRATOR yeah, gon' head DUCK it yeah", with Rap Critic throwing a Rubik's Cube in frustration, then Smash Cut to him getting bonked on the head with said cube.
  • "Got a GOAT screamin' KHAN yeah, on a SPIKE yeah", with a clip of Captain Kirk shouting "Khan", overlaid with a goat bleating.
  • "A quick RACIST GAME yeah, I want a CAT yeah", with Rap Critic sadly stroking a picture of a cat on his laptop.
  • "You claimin' you want CROCS yeah, that ain't subtle, yeah"
  • "Girl, you look ILL, won't you GET them PANTS off", with Rap Critic tearing the pants off a "girl" behind the camera.
  • "Call me SPACE PIRATE when you DROP them PANTS off"
  • "Girl, who is you SLAPPIN at? SNIFF that CRACK up". Then Rap Critic does so, and keels over, ending the video.
  • The video ends with a voice-over of Rap Critic doing Juvenile's "Ha" with a fake 1940s gangster accent.

    Music Skiteos 
"She Knows" by Ne-Yo feat. Juicy J

"Who Am I? (What's My Name?)" by Snoop Doggy Dogg

    Crossovers 
Moulin Rouge!, featuring Cinematic Venom

It Wasn't Me, with Todd in the Shadows

Soulja Boy: The Movie

  • Mues: Then Soulja Boy shows off useless crap, like having 92 thousand friends on Myspace. Because you know, Tila Tequila had 2 million friends on Myspace, and we all see how important she is.
    Rap Critic: Who?
    Mues: Exactly.
  • Mues's reaction to Soulja Boy admitting he doesn't like doing interviews, complete with RC trying to hold his laughter.
    Mues: Oh, excuse him! He doesn't like doing interviews! Excuse him for eating and checking his Facebook updates, he doesn't like doing interviews! I mean, it's no big deal, it's just a movie about your fucking life, you ungrateful ass!
  • The audio during a crowd chase scene set to "A Hard Day's Night".

Picaso Baby

  • While he and Kyle review the song, they decide to make their own rap with art references. It's hysterical.
  • Especially because it's called 'Douchebags Baby', by 'The Trap Critic' and 'Brows Pushed Back aka Emerald Arms'.
    Monet, Cash and Hoes ...e Orozco.
  • When Rap Critic and Kyle criticize Jay-Z's habit of collecting art pieces as status symbols rather than appreciating their beauty:
    Rap Critic: Yes, Blue Ivy, Jay-Z's daughter, lean on those paintings that he just paid a fortune for. Go ahead, nibble and drool on them as well! People now know that I have the millions of dollars that it makes for me to get these intricate inner-city models of angst and turmoil, so now they no longer serve a purpose!
    (Dribbling noise is heard off-screen)
    Rap Critic: Oh! Who's adding some more yellow to that Basquiat painting? Who's adding more yellow to that Basquiat painting?
    Kyle Kallgren: (chuckles) It - it's funny, because Andres Serrano is in the crowd. (beat) Someone's going to get that. Someone has to get that.

A Better Tomorrow, with The Needle Drop

The Jazz Singer, with Lady Jess

  • His first line:
    Rap Critic: Hi, I'm the Rap Critic, and I don't wanna do this shit.
    *Rap Critic gets up to leave, but Lady Jess pulls him back to his seat*
  • At the end where Rap Critic tries to force Lady Jess to watch White Chicks for revenge. And then quickly regretting this decision as he begs to make it stop.

The Censored Eleven, with Lady Jess

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