Amy: RAAAGH! Now you're gonna PAY!
Amy: Don't mess with me! (starts repeatedly pounding Serpenter into submission)
Eggman: Oh my...!
Amy: (still pounding on Serpenter)
Eggman: Oh no. Perhaps it's time for me to go!
Light Yagami: You think...I'm evil?...I am justice! I protect the innocent and those who fear evil! I'm the one who will become the god of a new world that everyone desires! All those who oppose that god...they are the ones who are truly evil!
Foreigner: Little girl.
Suzu: GAH!! (Foreigner leaving peacefully) F*CK YOU!! MOTHERF*CKER!! F*** ***!!!
Eda: ...HAD BETTER DAMN WELL BE PREPARED TO GO TO WAR!
The Masked Mute: I come from soulless things that worm through a man's mind
Like maggots through a leprous spine
No broken synapse clicks and spits in my brain
And to prove this, I will show you my special face.
A face for your offense and your spiteful transgression
A face you helped make... so here beginneth the lesson.
[transition to the Masked Mute walking away from the pedestrian's blood-splattered car]
The Masked Mute: I am not crazy.
Hank: He insulted both biochemistry and Twinkies. He had to be punished.
Scott: (mockingly) Both Twinkies and biochemistry? The godless heretic should be chased from the earth.
Hank: See. Scott agrees with me. I did not overreact.
The assistant grinned. "Why, you might even say, Dread Lord, that the Satan Girl was Supergirl's dark—"
The master whirled and swiftly pierced the other's gut with the spear he was holding. The Spear of Destiny.
Desaad clutched at the shaft transfixing his midsection in agony. His master shot forth beams from his eyes which reduced him to his primal atoms. Later, he would reassemble them, and trust that Desaad would learn by that not to make jokes using his name.
Crump: Friendship suuuuucks.
Téa: Oh, it is on in a manner similar to that of Donkey Kong!
Yami: The only reunion that's about to happen is my size ten with your buttocks!
Téa: Pharaoh, don't antagonize him!
Yami: Come on, Téa; it's Weevil! What's the worst he could—
(Weevil rips up the card)
Yami: Okay, yeah. That's the worst he could do.
Weevil: Hahahahaha! Don't worry, Pharaoh; it was just a prank! I don't know where Yugi's soul really is! But I know where yours is going to be once Poison Butterfly drains the last of your Life Points!
Yami: You know, it really is a shame. If Yugi were here, he might have been able to prevent me.
Weevil: Prevent you from what?
Yami: From doing this! I activate Berserker Soul! Now, I must keep drawing cards! And for every monster card I draw, Breaker attacks! But what are the odds that I'll draw a monster card?
Weevil: Heheh, this sucks...
Goku: Nobody rakes Christmas.
Trunks: Because you're not as strong as-
[Vegeta slugs him in the stomach and flies off]
Krillin: You pushed the Goku Button. You shouldn't-a did that.
Vegeta: [takes a deep breath, then begins powering up]
Cell: Oh, what's wrong, prince? Did I touch a nerve?
Trunks: You pressed the Goku button.
Cell: Excuse me, but wha- [Vegeta buries his fist into Cell's gut]
Vegeta: Ya shouldn't-a did that.
Goku:: It looks like... you underestimated our power... just like-
Cooler: Don't you dare-
Goku: -you did on Earth.
Cooler: Oh. Fair enou-
Vegeta: And just like Frieza.
Cooler: (Completely loses his shit, summons a gigantic robot body and starts choking Goku) Did Frieza ever do THIS?!
Goku: Beginning to feel like you have something against your brother.
Scar: What?! What did you say?
Zazu: Oh, nothing!
Scar: You know the law: never mention that name in my presence. I am the king!
Scar: What did you say?!
Banzai: I said Mu... [Shenzi elbows him] I said, uh... que pasa?
Scar: Good. Now get out.
Banzai: Yeah, but we're still hungry.
Sarabi: If you were half the king Mufasa was, you'd—!
Scar: *strikes her* I'm ten times the king Mufasa was!
Oaken: What did you call me?
Cilindric: So, ze fat gentleman first, ja?
Obelix: I AM NOT FAT!
Alameda Slim: My singin'? Songbirds sing. Saloon gals sing. Little bitty snot-nosed children sing! I YODEL! AND YODELIN' IS AN ART!
Bill Willie: Well, maybe they just didn't like your yodelin'!
(Slim starts swinging at his nephews with a branding iron)
Gil Willie: He didn't mean it, Uncle Slim. Everybody likes yodelin'. Why, it's one o' the funniest, cornball, goofy, silly sounds in the whole west!
(Gil gets the same treatment)
Spider-Ham: You got a problem with cartoons?
(cue Curb-Stomp Battle)
Spider-Ham: Aww, did that feel like a cartoon?!
Victoria: Then our navy rules the ocean.
Admiral: Almost entirely, Your Majesty.
Admiral: Unfortunately, just here, we're still having a little trouble with... [gulps his throat] ...P-p-pirates.
Victoria: What does it say on my royal crest, Admiral?
Admiral: "I hate pirates," ma'am.
Victoria: Exactly. Hate them. With their idiotic shanties! And their ridiculous hats! And their endless, blasted roaring! I want them sunk, Admiral! Scuppered, smashed, fed to the sharks. Do you hear me? I HATE PIRATES!
Captain America: Then prove it! Put that hammer down.
Iron Man: Um, yeah, no! Bad call! He loves his hamme- (hit with Mjölnir)
Thor: YOU WANT ME TO PUT THE HAMMER DOWN?!
Ivan Ooze: [screams in rage and fires lightning bolts into the sky]]
Mordant: I think he's heard of him.
Milo: Looney, looney, looney!
Teddy: I'm gonna rip your head off and shit down your neck!
Tommy DeVito: No more shines, Billy.
Tommy: I said, no more shines. Maybe you didn't hear about it, you've been away a long time, they didn't go up there and tell you: I don't shine shoes anymore.
Batts: Relax, will ya? For cryin' out loud, what's got into you? I'm breaking your balls a little bit, that's all. I'm only kidding with ya...
Tommy: Sometimes you don't sound like you're kidding, you know, there's a lotta people around...
Batts: I'm only kidding with you, we're having a party, I just came home and I haven't seen you in a long time and I'm breaking your balls, and you're getting fucking fresh. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.
Tommy: I'm sorry too. It's okay. No problem.
Batts: Okay, salud.
(A Beat, as all finish their drinks)
Batts: Now go home and get your fuckin' shinebox.
Tommy: MOTHER FUCKIN' MUTT! YOU, YOU FUCKIN' PIECE OF SHIT!!!
Spock: If you are presuming these experiences impede in any way my ability to command this ship, you are mistaken.
Kirk: And yet, you were the one who said fear was necessary for command. D-d-did you see his ship? Did you see what he did?
Spock: ...yes, of course I did.
Kirk: So, are you afraid or aren't you?
Spock: I will not allow you to lecture me on the merits of emotions.
Kirk: Then, why don't you stop me?
Spock: Step away from me...
Kirk': What is it like not to feel anger... heartbreak... or the need to stop at nothing to avenge the death of the woman who gave birth to you?
Spock: (voice wavering) Back away from me...
Kirk: YOU FEEL NOTHING! It must not even compute for you! You NEVER loved her!
"They sound like buses!", said Gordon.
"Or ships!", snickered Henry.
"Tugboat Annie!", laughed Gordon, "Hahaha!"
Donald and Douglas cruised quietly up. One on each side.
"Ye would have been makin' fun of us, would ye now?!", asked Donald.
Gordon and Henry jumped. They glanced side to side.
"Uh, no.", said Gordon.
"No, no. Certainly not." said Henry.
"That's fine," said Douglas, "Now just mind the both of ye, and keep it that way."
That was the way Gordon and Henry kept it.
Holt: Not the same thing, my friend.
Philip: Well, sure it is. When someone has a heart attack on a plane, do they yell out, "Yo, does anybody here have an Art History PhD?"
Holt: A PhD is a doctorate. It's literally describing a doctor.
Jake: Maybe let's refocus.
Holt: [increasingly livid] No! The problem here is that medical practitioners have co-opted the word "doctor."
Jake: Okay, Captain -
Holt: I know we live in a world where aaaaaanyything can mean anything, AND NOBODY EVEN CARES ABOUT ETYMOLO -
[smashcut to Holt and Jake back in the break room]
Holt: Apparently that's a trigger for me.
Doctor K: THAT IS NOT SPANDEX!!
Doctor K: THAT IS NOT SPANDEX!! The material is a self-assembling nano- (restrained by the others)
Girl: Ranger Yellow, as the sole female representative of the Power Rangers, I have a question for you: Which one of the guys looks cutest in the span-
Doctor K: (stopped by Summer before she can charge)
Girl: I mean, in the tights?
Chekov: Mr. Scott!
Scotty: Laddie... don't you think you should... rephrase that?
Korax: (mocking Scotty's accent) Yer right. I should. (normal voice) I didn't mean to say that the Enterprise should be hauling garbage. I meant to say that it should be hauled away as garbage!
Scotty: (punches him)
Ace: Who are you calling "small"!? *pwns the Dalek with a baseball bat upgraded to an energy mace*
Schillinger: SCHILLING-ER!!! GODDAMN IT!! SCHILLING-ER! BEEN HERE NINE FUCKIN YEARS, YOUD THINK YOUD LEARN HOW TO SAY MY GODDAMN NAME!
Alistair: Have you really been thinking about that all this time?
Morrigan: I am simply curious.
Alistair: And not insecure in the slightest, I'm sure.
Morrigan: I think I look nothing like her.
Alistair: I don't know. Give it a few hundred years and it'll be a spot-on match.
Morrigan (menacingly): I said that I look nothing like her!
Alistair: All right. Got it. Totally different. I see that now.
Jason Brody: (hearing Citra discussing said knife in his mind) I've... I've seen this knife before.
Buck: Knife? Knife?! (grabs the picture back from Jason) It's not just a fucking knife! It's art! There's more history in this than you and Keith's four arses squeezed together! That's my fucking fee, right?
Kanji: Strange? What's this "strange" stuff, huh?! Are you saying that I'm strange?!
Yosuke: Huh? N-No, I didn't mean—!
Kanji: You shitheads better get the hell out of my face, or I'm taking you down!
Yosuke: Wha—!? Wait, why?!
Kanji: I LOOK LIKE I'M JOKING?!
Wheatley: I AM NOT A MORON!
GLaDOS: YES YOU ARE! YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT!
Wheatley: WELL HOW ABOUT NOW?! NOW WHO'S A MORON?! COULD A MORON PUNCH! YOU! INTO! THIS! PIT! HUH?! COULD A MORON DO THAT?!
Yggdrasill: Only my former companions may call me by that name, get out of my sight! (kills her)
Kamek: Unless...Mario's there, in which case he'll once again kick—
[Bowser breathes fire in fury]
Bowser: DON'T SAY THAT NAME! Just thinking about it makes me RAGE!
Yamada: Well, um...we don't actually have a menu...
Celeste: That does not matter. HURRY UP AND BRING ME WHAT I ASKED FOR, SWINE!
Yamada: WHAAAAAT!? O-okay! Your little piggy will bring it right out!
Kanji: Strange? YOU SAYIN' I LIKE DUDES!? TAKING YOU PUNKS DOWN! RAAAAA!!!!
Waiter: "here is your steank with NO VEGETAL as you ordered sir"
Meme Man: "cool and good"
Vegetable: "did someone say NO VEGETALS?" (slips into Meme Man's mouth as he's eating)
Meme Man: "i taste a VEGETAL. ANGERY"
NC: Get over it, comic geek, your special effects suck.
Linkara: Bat-Credit Card.
NC: THE BAT-CREDIT CARD?! (Angrish)
Agatha: Oh god, I know! Get out, you retard!
Malgosia: YOU ARE A RETARD! But I love you anyway.
Pacifica: What was that about my hair?
Ami: They're not dumb! They're Huggle Buddies, AND I WANT THEM!
The Scotsman's Wife: Fat!? FAT!?! I'M NOT FAT!!! I'M STOUT!!!
Sandy: [growling with fury] SpongeBob... Patrick...
SpongeBob: Don't worry, Sandy, we've got you covered.
Harvey Dent: I don't know. I guess he just pushed the right button.
Jim Gordon: That's one heck of a button.
Anne: They're not just frogs. THEY'RE MY FRIENDS!!!!!