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Pre-Asskicking One-Liners.


Quotes:

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    Anime and Manga 
"Exodia... OBLITERATE!"
Yugi Muto, Yu-Gi-Oh!

"It's time for you to die again."
Lord Death, Soul Eater

"Welcome to the end of your life. And I promise, it's going to hurt."
Vegeta to Pui Pui before he humiliates and one-shots him, Dragonball Z

"If the policy of your religion is to kill the outsiders, come at me with everything you got. That might be easier than making me laugh."

"Hey, mister, who did terrible things to us... Just so you know, this is all your fault. Don't ever show your face in front of us again."
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    Comic Books 
Abomination: What are you going to do about it, Dr. Banner?
The Hulk: The doctor is out.

Thug: Don't you see I have a cannon? One move from my hand, and you are obliterated!
Luke: Make the move.

Lobo: Bloody Nass! That ship was custom built! The things I did just to pay for it...!
Supergirl: Don't worry... You'll pay for them ALL.

Supergirl: I take it this [pipe] is yours, guys?
Crook 1: H-Holy...! It... It's... Oh, man, it sure is! Hey... We're awfully sorry, lady... Honest! We didn't know it was you!
Supergirl: I'm kind of glad it was! My head's made to take this kind of abuse!— Is yours?

Superwoman: And don't bother trying to put up a fight, girl. I'm just as invulnerable as you are.
Supergirl: Good. That means I won't have to hold back, you murderous babootch.

"Cough up that Bizarro Luthor right now, monster... or else I'll cut him out of you."

Rebel Trooper: You are surrounded!
Darth Vader: [Ignites his lightsaber] All I am surrounded by is fear. And dead men.

    Fanfiction 
"You want to open the Hellmouth? Make my day, punks!"

Mala: We have not forgotten the thirty years we spent in the Kryptonite globe because of him. Nor have we forgotten being cheated of our revenge by his death. Should Kara Zor-L live, she will inevitably prove to be a hindrance to us. It is regrettable that she must die. But die she must. There is no need for battle. Our audience has left the stands. This show of combat pleased him, but it was most inefficient. Please. Let me do what is required, and I promise to make her death as quick as I possibly can. Your own will be even quicker, and as painless as possible. The decision is up to you.
Fury: You know what our answer is, big man. Come and get it.
Nuklon: Nope. Our answer is—go to hell!

"KNOCK KNOCK, MOTHERFUCKER, WHO ORDERED A BEATING?"
God Emperor of Mankind, Tales of the Emperasque

"Good evening. My name is Magneto. You kidnapped my daughter. You kidnapped my daughter's godson. You tortured them both. You have twisted the latter into your weapon. I would like to discuss this. And if you are very lucky... I might actually allow some of you to live."

"Not bad. But not good enough."

Darkseid: Woman. I perceived what you did. You shielded D'reema from my power. You gave her time to speak the Life Equation. Because of you— because of you— the power of Anti-Life is lost to me forever. Perhaps. For that, there must be recompense. For that, there must be death.
Supergirl: I’ll settle for yours.

Naruto: That feeling you're feeling right now, that's anger. The feeling he's about to be feeling when we're through with him... that's gonna be pain.
Cammy: No. I don't think people feel pain when they're dead.

Babidi: Yes, yes. We’ve seen this already, it didn’t work, let’s get on with it!
Goku: You’re right. You have seen the first two before. But you haven’t seen this!
Tales of the Monkey Queen, right as Goku goes Super Saiyan Three.

    Film — Animated 
Aunt May: Would you mind taking this outside?
Spider-Man Noir: We don't pick the ballroom. We just dance.

"Get out of my house."

Mickey: Captain Pete, by the power invested in me, I arrest you!
Pete: Well, by the power invested in my fist, I clobber you!

Hermes: Professor, can you wire my head directly into the battle grid?
Professor Farnsworth: I can wire anything directly into anything! I'm the professor!
Hermes: Then prepare to see a bureaucrat's brain in action!

    Film — Live-Action 
"My turn."

"I kick arse for the Lord!"
Fr. Jon Magruder, BrainDead

"Welcome to the Losers Club, asshole!"
Richie Tozier, It (2017)

"Peace? Peace. I hate the word, as I hate hell, all Montagues, and thee."

Ajax: You can grow back body parts now, Wade. But when I'm done with you, body parts are gonna have to grow back you.
Deadpool: Good one. [turns to the camera] Yup, that was a good one.

"My turn."
Tony Stark right before he barbecues the terrorists that imprisoned him for three months, Iron Man

"The fat lady is singing! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"
Madame de Garderobe, Beauty and the Beast (2017)

"One shall stand, one shall fall!"
Optimus Prime to Megatron, The Transformers: The Movie

"This is the end of the road, Galvatron."
Rodimus Prime, The Transformers: The Movie

"I don't want any trouble!"
Jackie Chan, in almost every movie he's ever been in

"You should have stayed dead."

"Witness the might of the Jabari... FIRSTHAND!"

"You shouldn't have killed my mom and squished my walkman!"

"All that for a drop of blood..."

"BRING ME THANOS!"
Thor to an entire army, Avengers: Infinity War

"They won't know it. Because you won't be alive to tell them!"
Thanos, Avengers: Endgame

AVENGERS... assemble.
Captain America, Avengers: Endgame

Wanda: You... took everything from me.
Thanos: I don't even know who you are.
Wanda: You will.

    Literature 
"Fuck subtle."
Harry Dresden, The Dresden Files

"Be honest. You've been looking forward to this, haven't you?"
Darquesse, Skulduggery Pleasant

Skitter: You were right, Armsmaster.
Armsmaster: Of course.
Skitter: This was over from the moment we stepped into the room.
Worm

"I have no idea how the fuck I’m going to do it, but I’m going to make you regret that."
Skitter to Mannequin, Worm

<Well?> I said.
No one moved.
<Scared?> I asked.
No answer.
<You should be.>
Rachel, Animorphs #54: The Beginning

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    Live-Action TV 
Dalek: Records indicate you will show mercy. You are an associate of the Doctor's.
River: I'm River Song. Check your records again.

Stan: Hey Chocodile, watch where you're going!
Chocodile: [Turns with a smirk] Oh HELL no.
Before Chocodile and Stan fight, American Dad!

"WHO YOU CALLIN' SMALL?"
Dorothy "Ace" McShane, prior to beating the crap out of a Dalek, Doctor Who

Gokai Red (Captain Marvelous): Let's make this showy.

[hits hi-hat] "Oh, what's that? A bell? Time for school."

    Stand-Up Comedy 
"Oy, Russell! Somebody gonna get a-hurt real bad."
Russell Peters, quoting his father

    Video Games 
"You play at being a dragon, little one? Play time is over."

"Also, I took the liberty of watching the tapes of you killing her, and I'm not going to make the same mistakes! Four part plan is this: one, no portal surfaces. Two, start the neurotoxin IMMEDIATELY! Three, bomb-proof shields, for me! Leading right into number four, bombs. For throwing at you. Yanno what? This plan is SO good, I'm gonna give you a sporting chance... And turn off the neurotoxin! I'm joking, of course. Goodbye."
Wheatley, Portal 2

Exdeath: So, you offer your life in exchange for theirs?
Kain Highwind: Of course not. I offer yours.

Achievement Unlocked: "Heads Will Roll"
Asura's Wrath, Episode Twelve, right as Asura gets pissed.

"ONE-LIIIINNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR!"
Salvador, Borderlands 2

"For Soap."
Captain Price, "Ashes To Ashes", Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3

Mercenary Pilot: Lieutenant Sykes cease your approach, we will open fire!
Gavin: Your boss killed my Captain and enslaved my people. He will be brought to justice.
Moments before the Lieutenant single-handedly wins a 6 on 1 dogfight, Star Wars Episode 1: Battle for Naboo.

Heavy: What happens now?
Medic: Now... let's go practice medicine.
Team Fortress 2, "Meet the Medic"

Valerian: Be careful Kerrigan, my father will have made every precaution to ensure no one reaches Commander Raynor.
Kerrigan: He's not prepared for me.

"Time to dive into the fireworks"

"Daddy's home, you pricks!"
Michael DeSanta, Grand Theft Auto V

"Howdy! [player], are you there? It's me, your best friend! ASRIEL DREEMURR."
Asriel Dreemurr at the end of the Pacifist route, Undertale

"it's a beautiful day outside. birds are singing, flowers are blooming... on days like these, kids like you... Should be burning in hell."
Sans at the end of the Genocide route, Undertale

"that expression...that's the expression of someone who's died twice in a row. suffice to say, you look really...unsatisfied. alright. how about we make it a third?"
Sans at the end of the Genocide route, Undertale

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm afraid this way doesn't lead to Venom. This way only leads...to your annihilation!"
The Attack Carrier Captain, Star Fox Zero

"Feel the wrath of my divine lightning, and plummet into the bowels of hell, burning in its unending flames!"
YHVH, right before the final battle, Shin Megami Tensei II

"This is the first time I have ever had to fight at full power. I might not be able to hold back. Apologies in advance."
Stephen, right after becoming the strongest boss in the game, Shin Megami Tensei IV: Apocalypse

"Since you have traveled so very far, be my guest and let me ENTERTAIN YOU!"
Sherudo Garo, Time Crisis

"Your blade, it did not cut deep enough!"

"Let me show you what I have learned in the spaces beyond!"
Dr Klein, The Secret World

"That nickname you love so much, want to know how I got it? Actually why don't I give you a demonstration? I think it's time for Jack to let er rip!"

Raiden: I said my sword was a tool of justice. Not used for anger, not used for vengeance. But now, now I'm not so sure and besides... this isn't my sword!
Armstrong: Come on!
Raiden: Okay, let's dance!

Idun: We will—
Ken Kaido: Blah, blah, blah, quit yacking and get over here! We’ve got one of them blessings to give ya!
Ryo Magami: Mind you, that blessing… is Hell!

"I, Garland, will knock you all down!"
Garland, Final Fantasy I

"Blast him away, Captain Kidd!"
Ryuji "Skull" Sakamoto, Persona 5

"You stole everything from Shiho...you destroyed her...now, it's your turn! I will rob you of everything!"
Ann "Panther" Takamaki, Persona 5

"The children who adored you as 'father'...the prospects of your pupils...how many did you trample upon? How many dreams did you exchange for riches?! No matter what it takes, I will bring you to justice!"
Yusuke "Fox" Kitagawa, Persona 5

"I will not lose heart again, ever! I'll go full speed, nonstop! Right, Johanna?!"
Makoto "Queen" Niijima, Persona 5

"Farewell, dear father! I am no longer your subservient puppet!"
Haru "Noir" Okumura, Persona 5

"Make your peace with whatever the gods worship. Your end is near."

"Time to tip the scales!"

"Pick a god and pray!"
Frederick, Fire Emblem Awakening

"You've really fucked up now, old man! You wanna play? Let's play!"
Travis Touchdown to Badman, Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes

    Webcomics 
"We are on Eastern Pain Time, and it is Dan O'Clock."

"For that which you are about to receive, I am truly thankful."
Sergeant Schlock, Schlock Mercenary

"You know... she said evil didn't look like anything, or that it looked like a lot of things... But I think it looks like you."
Shadowchild, Digger

    Web Original 
"I'm Tristan Taylor, and for the next five minutes, you guys are officially my bitches!"
Tristan Taylor, Yugioh The Abridged Series

"Peace talks have broken down. Now we do it our way."
Agent Washington, Red vs. Blue

Jotaro: [to High Priestess] I, Kujo Jotaro, will pulpsonally....
[Beat]
Jotaro: I messed it up.
Kakyoin: Jotaro, what are you doing?
Jotaro: One more chance, please!
Kakyoin: Please hurry up!
Jotaro: [to High Priestess] I, Kujo Jotaro, will personally beat you to a pulp!

Vegeta: Don't you understand!? If it didn't grant my wish, then I'm not immortal, and Freeza's going to... g-going to...
[Freeza is standing on a nearby cliff.]
Freeza: Oh no, don't mind me! By all means; give me some ideas.

"I'm going to break you. [...] Like a Kit-Kat bar."
Goku to Frieza, Dragon Ball Z Abridged

Goku: Not going anywhere for a while? [...] Grab a Snickers.
Cooler: I... can't help but feel we're both missing some context here.

[gets punched in the face to no effect by Android 19] Hrm, what a shame. Looks like you just initiated your self-destruct sequence.

"You know, it might sound weird, but I kinda liked the old arm better. Oh, well. I'll just have to break it in."
Perfect Cell, Dragon Ball Z Abridged

Alucard: Hey, guys, how's your health plan?
[the soldiers shoot at him]
Alucard: APPARENTLY, IT'S GREAT!

"Zorin, was it? Listen, Zorin, this whole fucking place is my house. You ain't the queen vampire bitch here; I am. And you know what we Brits always say: God. Save. The Queen."
Seras Victoria, Hellsing Ultimate Abridged

"Who wants daddy's belt?"
Walter C. Dornez, Hellsing Ultimate Abridged

Anderson: [brandishes a small box] I forgive you.
Alucard: ...excuse me?
Anderson: Everything you've said... everything you done.... I forgive you.
Alucard: Well, isn't that convenient? But that's not up to you, is it? It's up to your precious God.
Anderson: You're right. [crushes the box to reveal Helena's Nail] Would you like to speak to Him?

"I AM THE FIREMAN WHO WILL PUT OUT YOUR FLAMES OF ASPIRATION!"

"....Gotcha."
Yang Xiao Long, RWBY, on catching Adam's sword
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    Western Animation 
"That's my bread and butter you're fucking with."
Charles Foster Ofdensen, Metalocalypse

Iroh: Did I ever tell you how I got the nickname "The Dragon of the West"?
Azula: I'm not interested in a lengthy anecdote, Uncle.
Iroh: It's more of a demonstration, really.

[panting] "Okay..." [picks up a rock] "Okay! O...KAY!"
Lars, before leaping on top of a robonoid, Steven Universe

Tenzin: I will never let you get to Korra.
Zaheer: Unfortunately, you don't have a choice.
Tenzin: Yes, I do. [effortlessly airbends Zaheer, Ming-Hua and Ghazan away in one move]

Agent Powers: Sorry, but you've got a flight to catch.
Stan's Watch: anomaly in progress
Stan: Oh yeah? So do you.
Gravity Falls, "Not What He Seems"

Stan: Look at me. TURN AROUND AND LOOK AT ME, YA ONE-EYED DEMON!
[Bill turns]
Stan: You're a real wise guy, but ya made one fatal mistake. You messed with my family.
Gravity Falls, "Weirdmageddon Part 3: Take Back the Falls"

Orc Leader: We're going to rip you apart into a bunch u' pieces, and then we're going to take those pieces and rip them apart into even more pieces!
Ashi: I'm waiting.

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