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Running Gags

  • Any time Spoony jokes that you can find a movie "only if you know some especially deranged Hong Kong bootleggers. And I do."

The Clones of Bruce Lee

  • The review features Spoony, Spencer D. Bum, and Dr. Insano on the same couch. An impressive split screen effect that leads to much hilarity ensuing, including his self-proclaimed darkest joke ever involving the death of Brandon Lee.
  • Spoony uses the "Bruce" sketch from Monty Python's Flying Circus to illustrate the Bruce Lee Clones greeting each other.
  • Dr. Insano's reaction to finding out the Mad Scientist villain is named 'Dr. Nye':
    Insano: Oh, believe me, you don't want to mess with Bill Nye! He will end your ass! WITH SCIENCE!
  • Dr. Insano's outrage at the movie's Mad Scientist's lame inventions: first a chemical capable of killing any plant:
    Insano: Ooooh, yes! With my latest invention I'll burn my name into the White House lawn and then the world will kneel at my feet! Ahahahahah! You just invented Roundup weed killer, you moron!
  • ...and a formula capable of turning people into "living bronze":
    Insano: Yes, bronze! The hardest metal known to man! The armies of the world will be helpless before my legions of bronze troopers unless they have bombs...or...guns...or...anything.
  • At the beginning of the review, when Linkara is planning to clone Spoony, he decides to program the clone to promote his Revolution of the Mask graphic novel. In the second part, two of the Bruces go to a beach where topless naked women are standing around...and they're censored by a Revolution of the Mask ad.
  • Linkara's initial attempt to revive Spoony by hitting his remains with a hammer. And then we are informed what happened when he tried punching reality... Made even better by how nonchalant he is about it.
  • Dr. Insano's reaction to seeing "Bruce Lee" in tiny pink shorts.
  • His commentary of the said video is interrupted by Bolo Yeung's on-screen appearance.
    "...I got some kind of kick when I was checking out exploitation flicks, and things like that. I think the name of it just CHONG LI! CHONG LI! ...I have to shout it every time I see Bolo."
  • During said commentary, he ponders other cloning possibilities, one of them being cloning Eddie Van Halen three times, and having them play "Eruption" all at once, which would cause the universe to "explode from the awesomeness".
  • Also from the commentary, his comments that maybe Dr. Ngai anticipated his bronze men would somehow develop a reflexive suckling and chewing habit so he invented the vegetation-killing spray to destroy poisonous plants that could pose a threat to them, then admits he's likely putting way too much thought into it and giving the writers too much credit.

Alone in the Dark (2005)

  • In the crossover review with The Nostalgia Critic and Linkara, a major gunfight is shown to be taking place entirely in the dark. The group wonder if most of the people involved were just passers-by. Doctor Insano makes a cameo during the gunfight- and is immediately shot down.
    Insano: I brought SCIENCE! (is shot)
  • Spoony displays a hilarious level of immaturity. The Critic has been rendered mute via a stroke caused by how terrible the movie is, and so is using a text-to-speech program. Spoony hijacks this computer repeatedly to make him say:
    I like to wear womens' clothing. I like to wear womens' clothing.

Santa with Muscles

  • Spoony tying the reckless paintball driving scene with one of WCW's most notorious angles:
    Spoony: And that puts a long standing wrestling mystery to restHogan drove the hummer!
    (Beat)
    Spoony: See, the old school wrestling fans out there, they just got a chuckle out of that; the other 99% of you? (makes went-over-your-head gesture) Woo~!
    • Also during the paintball scene when Hogan leaps out of the hummer to escape the cops
    Hogan: When in doubt, get out. See ya! (jumps out
    Spoony!Hogan: Good luck stopping the car brother I'll see you in hell!
  • Dr. Insano spoofing the "dramatic Lysol spraying" scene by sitting on the toilet taking a dump and then spraying two Air Wick cans with a dramatic sweeping motion with ominous music playing. And then ironing his labcoat followed by a dramatic iron sweep.
  • The sight of Dr Blight's (no, not that Dr. Blight) semi frozen body being dubbed with "I WAS FROZEN TODAY!"
  • "...Clint Howard?! Clint, dude...I wouldn't ordinarily say this, but...this is beneath you!"
  • If you ever ask someone if they can do something for you and their response is * maniac giggling* OH YEAH!'' HAHAHAHAHA! ... Find someone else!
  • And, of course, there's also the beginning of the video, where we are once again graced with the presence of the Spoony Warrior, who mistakes Spoony for being fellow wrestler Jerry "The King" Lawler:
    Spoony (as he's wearing a crown on his head): You know, it feels so humbling to be so universally loved by everybody and ultimately....
    Spoony!Warrior: *Skronk* JERRY LAWLER! GOLDFINGER IS THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN TOUCH! NOT YOU, JERRY LAWLER! AND NOBODY DOES IT BETTER THAN THE ULTIMATE WARRRRIOOOOORRRAAAAAAAAH!
    Spoony: Oh, god, oh! The crown! Look, it's just a costume and I'm not really Jerry Lawler.
    Spoony!Warrior: I NEED NOT YOUR TRICKS, JERRY LAWLER! I NEVER GO TO BED BEFORE THE KING! AND AT WRESTLEMANIA, JERRY LAWER! YOU WILL BE SMASHED BY A SPACESHIP! FULL OF DISCIPLES! DRIVEN BY THE RAAAGE! AND ALL THE THETANS OF THE WARRRRIORR! FLOATING THROUGH THE VEINS! OF THE POWAH OF THE WARRIORRRRAAAAAAAH!
    • Then, when he learns that Spoony isn't Jerry Lawler, Warrior threatens to "CRUSH HIS HEAD LIKE BUBBLE WRAP" when he also reveals he saw Spooning with Spoony and tells him "QUEERING DON'T MAKE THE WORLD WORK!"
      • And then when Spoony points out that he raped SantaClaus in the "Warrior Christmas Special"....
    Spoony!Warrior: Eh....EVERY BOY IS NATURALLY CURIOUS AT THAT AGE! AND OWES IT TOO HIMSELF....TO DISCOVER HIS OWN SEXUUUUAAAALITYYYY! AND BESIDES! IT WASN'T ALL THE WAY GAY....BECAUSE I PULLED OUT EARLY AND DUMPED MY MAN-CHOWDER ALL OVER HIS CHAAAAST! AND BESIDES! THAT WASN'T SANTA CLAUS! THAT WAS HOAK HOOOOOGAAAAAAAN!
    Spoony: Hulk Hogan?
    Spoony!Warrior: HOAK HOGAN! DISGUISED AS SANTA CLAUS! DO NOT BE FOOLED, CHILDREN! CHRISTMAS WAS SAVED! BY THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR! WHEN I FOKED HOAK HOGAN! WITH MY SOUTH POOOOOLLLLE!

Space Thunder Kids

  • What convinces him that a room in the Hilton is worth watching such a crappy movie? Lars, the in-room personal ass-wiper. The awed expression on his face as he comes out of the bathroom is breathtaking.
  • Sage pulling out a list of shows and films the movie ripped off....which happens to be the size of a phone book.

Wing Commander

Highlander II: The Quickening

  • "Highlander 2: The Quickening is the smartest sci-fi thriller since Blade Runner."
  • "The movie's set in the postapocalyptic future-I've already lost you, haven't I?
  • His long rant about all the inconsistencies with the first movie, best summarized in this line:
    Spoony: How do you buttfuck an entire series in twelve minutes?!
  • He suffers a bit of a mental breakdown during the rant, culminating in this line:
    "Why am I in a Starfleet uniform!?"
  • Spoony referring to the two goons Katana sends out as the "Insano Brothers."
    So, the entire Insano family comes from the planet Zeist? Actually, that explains a lot...
    • After the "Insano Brothers" arrive giggling and doing a silly little dance: Ladies and gentlemen, THE CONQUERORS OF ZEIST! Seriously, how bad is your rebellion when you lose to THESE GUYS?
    • "And remember, THIS was plan A. I'd hate to see the fucking B squad!"
    • "Yes, that's what I need to defeat Macleod. Flying monkeys! You two, come over here, I have a plan."
  • Dr. Insano's reaction to the unveiling of the planetary shield:
    Scientist: They will remember this day for a thousand years: the day we protected the planet from the Sun.
    Insano: The horrible life giving Sun! We finally defeated it with SCIENCE!
  • "MacLeod is at Bar having Drink..."
  • At the end of the review, Spoony slowly realizes that all Highlander sequels and spin-offs were bad. Cue double facepalm:
    Spoony: There should have been only one.
  • "Hey Noah, where's the ark?!"
    "Oh and by the way, just because I do actually happen to have an ark in the backyard has nothing to do with the fact that my name is Noah, and when the polar ice caps finally melt, flood the earth, and destroy all life, I am not gonna let any of you dickweeds who made fun of me in!"
  • "Okay, he's dead! The Foley guy is running out of celery!"
  • "Ooooh! He's not Dr. Cox any more!"
    • Adding in a Dr. Cox rant as the bad guy falls out the window.

Mazes and Monsters

  • The cameo of Wiseau!Benzaie.
  • The Call-Back to his Dragonstrike review at the end. "The only reason I kill people is to get an erection. ... WAIT!
  • Spoony's various hats.
    • Even Burton gets one at the end!
  • "So I guess this movie is the second worst thing that happened to [the Twin Towers]... *cue booing crowd*
  • Playing the ending narration of Monster-A-Go-Go after the monster hallucination in the cave.
  • Creator Breakdown at its funniest:
    Daniel: Just gimme a little more time, okay?
    Mom: Daniel, this is a very competitive world, and you're going to have to live in it! Now! Not later, but now! Later, you're not going to be able to find a job! Later, they're going to want the computer expert from MIT, not a game player from that Grant University!
    Spoony: And much later the Indians and Chinese are going to radically underbid domestic companies for software contracts, so go to MIT now while you still can! Because god knows by the year 2000 your computer science degree will be fucking useless...(grows more distraught) and you'll be stuck at home trapped forever in a hopeless fucking purgatory with a fucking blue robot, reviewing shitty movies and horrible Final Fantasy games! (increasingly hysterical) And I can't stand it anymore! What the fuck has become of my life?! (draws gun) I'M GONNA BURN THIS WHOLE FUCKING PLACE TO THE GROUND! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    (TV static, then smash cut to a picture of several LEGO men in white clothes trying to restrain a panicky LEGO man with the caption "We'll be right back! Time for my medicine!" while cheerfully upbeat musicnote  plays)
  • "People are naturally afraid of Al-Qaeda, or catching the gayness, or illegal immigrants or the Jews."
  • Talking about how there were rumours of him being a Satanist for playing D&D, or being gay for participating in drama club. "I was a gay Satanist, I was just positively evil." (complete with flamboyant hand wave)
    "And so, LARPing was born! Dignity died shortly thereafter."
  • When one of the characters in-movie says, "You have two questions." Spoony puts in his own, "Uh, what do Jack's tattoo's mean? Gah, that's stupid!"
  • "WARNING: the following clip will completely ruin your ability to enjoy any Tom Hanks movie you'll ever see again."
  • The DM's Thousand-Yard Starenote . And for that matter, any time Spoony makes reference to how DnD is actually played, compared to how the movie thinks it's played.
  • "That's not funny! Man, I've been there!" And, cue flashback to 2002 when Spoony blacked out playing FFVIII and woke up carrying a bloodstained gunblade.
  • "See, this is what happens when you let scientologists treat the mentally ill".
  • "Oh my god. People finding a healthy outlet for dealing with their real life problems? Those evil bastards should be round up and drowned in ammonia!"
  • "Oh sorry, I sort of lost interest in your boring-ass talking so I started playing some Bayonetta. Are there titties in this movie?"
  • This one is more Hilarious in Hindsight, but the part where Spoony says with disgust that there's nothing worse in a D&D group than two players who are dating is even funnier if you follow his campaign, which at one point is joined by Linkara and Iron Liz, who at the time were dating.
  • "Yeah, well, you know these damn kids with their hobbits and their rings of power. You think this game of Mazes and Monsters got out of hand? You should have seen it when third edition came out." [dramatic close-up of Spoony] "At nights, I can still smell the bodies in the streets..."

Highlander: The Source

  • Spoony parodying the opening voiceover:
    Anna: Immortals. 1. They can only be killed with the loss of their head. 2. They gain more power by killing other Immortals. 3. They cannot have children.
    Spoony: [falsetto] 4. They're aliens from the planet Zeist but nobody likes to talk about it. 5. This series hasn't been relevant since Sean Connery jumped ship like the first white bitch off the Titanic.
    • And right before that, as Anna begins her narration, Spoony almost reflexively shouting "OH FUCK YOU!" and then apologizing for it.
  • Highlander: Sitcom.
  • His reaction to Giovanni's haircut.
    • In the commentary Spoony mentions how Giovanni kept reminding him of someone but he couldn't put his finger on it, something which bugged him immensely. He finally discovered who when he posted the video and dozens of commenters all asked the same thing: "What is Albert Wesker doing in this movie?"
  • "OhcrapcrapcrapIdidn'tthinkthisthrouuuuuuugh..."
  • Naming one of the immortals Film Brain. And later using LordKaT's Catchphrase: "You're gonna die. A lot."
  • "Oh crap, it's The Wicker Man!! Not the BEES!! AAARGH..!!
  • His entire reaction to the cover of "Princes of the Universe" — mouthing "What the fuck is this shit?!" as they start up and his rant afterwards, not to mention all of the simply priceless faces that he makes throughout.
    Spoony: FREDDIE MERCURY IS SPINNING IN HIS FUCKING GRAVE RIGHT NOW! HIGHLANDER TWO NEVER REACHED THIS LEVEL OF ABJECT FUCKNESS!!!
    • According to the commentary, when Spoony and Miles first saw The Source, there were so many stupid moments that they had to pause the movie briefly several times in sheer disbelief. When they got to the cover, they stopped the movie and couldn't work up the nerve to go on for a whole hour.
  • He concludes his review of all the crappy Highlander sequels by "beheading" his Atari Jaguar with the Highlander game in it. With his gunblade. Sadly, no Quickening ensues, though he tries to get one to start.
  • During the final battle between Duncan and the Guardian, he plays "Yakety Sax" from The Benny Hill Show over the fight. And that's the extent of editing the footage... the final battle really is that stupid.
    Spoony: I'm almost convinced they stole the entire fight choreography from a battle between Bugs Bunny and Daffy fucking Duck!

The Dungeon Master

  • Dr. Insano does a review pretty much on his own:
    Insano: I wasted $1.99 renting this movie, and I will have my revenge!
  • Insano discovering that the film is the source of Adam Savage's "I reject your reality and substitute my own" quote from MythBusters.
  • The scene where the hero blows up the members of WASP resulting in the This Is Spın̈al Tap clip where Spinal Tap talks about the drummer who spontaneously combusted during a performance.
  • Insano finding another way to get footage from Final Fantasy X-2 without playing it.
  • Insano's reaction to Paul using a laser to defeat the challenge YET AGAIN!
    Insano: Well, go on. You'll never guess. Paul's shown so much innovation and creativity solving all the problems up to this point he's like freaking Macgyver. Guess how he does it? Go on. Guess! GUESS!
  • At the end Insano once again starts ranting about how the movie's cover and title promised a Dungeons & Dragons like film causing him to shout "Where's my Dungeons & Dragons movie?" Cue Bruce Payne wearing blue lipstick...
  • When Insano hears that the Big Bad is named Mestema, he says that it sounds like some kind of disease. This is immediately followed by a Fake Commercial for "X-Calbr8", Insano's miracle cream for curing Mestema, featuring cameos by Matt Briner, Guru Larry, and Sean Fausz.
  • When Mestema sends Paul to a WASP concert...
    Insano: Mestema, you mad fool! What man could possibly withstand rock this awesome?!

Revenge of the House of Usher (The Spoony Snob)

  • "You know, somehow I doubt that Edgar Allan Poe wrote The Fall of the House of Usher as a sequel to Zombie 4"!
  • "That's right. In this movie, even the padding has padding." *cue Torgo music for an especially drawn-out scene* "DO SOMETHING!!"
  • When looking up the film on IMDB, a related result is...
    Spoony Snob: Wait a minute... The Big Tits Dragon? Whaaat? A.K.A. The Big Tits Dragon: Hot Springs Zombies vs. Strippers 5? Oh thank God, it was made in 2010, that means I don't have to review it! Pfft, besides, I pretty much gave up on that series after The Big Tits Dragon: Hot Springs Zombies vs. Strippers 2!
  • He talks about how the director is also known for Z-grade pornographic films like...
    Spoony Snob: The Erotic Rites of Frankenstein, The Super-Witches of the Rio Amore, and Two Female Spies With Flowered Panties...which is oddly specific...and kind of intriguing.
  • On the Nonindicative Name of the film:
    Spoony Snob: It's not until 78 minutes in that we see something that might pass for a zombie...maybe...but it looks more like Weird Al with a hangover.
    • The commentary has the story of how both he and the Nostalgia Critic had the idea of having the Snob appear on their shows, and since Doug actually flew the Snob in to appear on camera with him, he had to concede that battle. So he made up his mind to just be incredibly pissed off at Doug for just the few days it would take him to rewrite his review, until Doug called up and apologized for basically nothing, which paradoxically just made Spoony even angrier for not being able to be angry at him anymore.

The Beastmaster

  • His thoughts on Maax's lair:
    "You know you've really made it as a evil wizard when your stronghold has lots of windows that are also made of fire! Sure, the heating bill is outrageous, but dammit, I have a window made of fire!"
  • The witch prophecy of Rip Torn's career:
  • The entire scene with Maax's delivery of "HE WILLDIE, TONIGHT!" Thanks, Rip Torn.
  • The Mondegreen of "Yor's World" was pretty freaking awesome.
  • Also, the cameo appearance of The Goddamned Avatar was great if you've seen his review of Ultima: The Stygian Abyss.

Beastmaster 2 Portal Of Time

  • Spoony getting totally derailed by the hot sorceress until the immortal line:
    Hot Sorceress: Chill out, Lord Dude.
    Spoony: [Stunned Silence]
    Hot Sorceress: Chill out, Lord Dude.
    Spoony: I'm... gonna need a minute guys. [Slams head against wall]
    • And he gets even more Distracted by the Sexy during his commentary, unable to get a coherent thought out for a good couple minutes after he brings up how he'd forgotten how hot she was.
  • Spoony seeing the movie theater with the marquee promoting Beastmaster II.
  • "I'm making a note here, huge success!"
  • In response to the offensively swishy gay French tailor in the Beastmaster 2 review:
    Insano: The gayness! It's off the charts! We're getting into the Gigaqueer range! *blam* Aw hell, it broke my Gaydar...
    Spoony: You invented a 'Gaydar'.
    Spoony: Why would you ever need a Gaydar?
    Insano: Ohhh don't you worry about why I need a Gaydar, you just go do your... thing with the movie, I'm just gonna go...
  • The stereotypical gay fashionisto helps the Big Bad find a new outfit. The payoff to Spoony's blatant temptation of fate is such that you could set your watch to:
    Spoony: This character is the most blatant and offensive flaming gay French stereotype I've ever seen.
    (Smash cut to Benzaie dressed and dancing in a very Camp Gay fashion)
    Benzaie: Yo~ my name's Benzaie~!
    Spoony: (recoiling) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
    (Benzaie dances while Spoony whimpers in agony)
    Spoony: (whimpering) NEVER! WE'RE NEVER SHOWING THAT CLIP AGAIN! NEVER!
    • During the episode commentary, when that scene comes up, Spoony mentions how Benzaie once got quite offended over being called "gay" on Twitter asking "Why would you think THAT?" The first reply he got was a link to THAT scene. Benzaie could only reply "Oh."
  • The alternate universe version of the Son of Insano simply being the toy held upside down did it for me.
  • "Shit, attacking eagles?! RUN! GRAB A COATHANGER! DAR STARTED THE BIRDEMIC!"
  • Finally flipping out about all the pop culture references:
    Spoony: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I GET IT! YOU'RE FROM THE 90S! IF I WAS PLAYING A DRINKING GAME, I'D BE IN A FUCKING COMA BY NOW! 90s KID IS WRITTEN WITH MORE SUBTLETY THAN YOU!
    90s Kid: (scoff) Dude! Harsh! [Exit]
  • Spoony discussing Dar's ferrets:
    Spoony!Dar: Hang on, perhaps my ferrets can speak your idiot language.... Yes, I have two ferrets. You see, I had two before and then one died in the last movie, and then the other one had two babies, and then... died between movies I presume, and so I named these two exactly the same thing, you know what it's a long story.
  • At the beginning, with him talking about the trend of movies which took a hero from a faraway land/galaxy and put them in modern-day Earth
    Spoony: Suburban Commando, Hercules in New York, Masters of the Universe and many others that all had one very important thing in common - THEY ALL FUCKING SUCKED!!!!
  • Spoony taking an explanation as to why Dar's tiger isn't black (because the paint the filmmakers used actually killed the tiger from the last movie) and managing to make it hilarious:
    Spoony: Where the fuck was the guy from the American Humane Association? "Oh, what? You got that shipment of black toxic hair dye? Yeah, just slop that shit all over the tiger. It's not like cats lick themselves." *cut to the tiger doing just that*
    Spoony (in a faraway voice): "I think he's starting to eat it!"
    Spoony: "Dah, he's fine."

Garzey's Wing

  • Spoony getting a brain aneurysm during the review after seeing the protagonist's soul getting abducted by a goose.
  • This:
    Spoony (voiceover): Meanwhile, the king's forces are regrouping and planning their attack on the escaped slaves... Well, at least I think that's what they're doing, I can't really tell because every other word they're saying is made-up baby talk.
    Character: It is most defective to place a duraga roll at Gabujuju. You should destroy the meitomies with the war beast Armikor.
    Spoony: But if you use the duraga rolls at Gabujuju, won't the niixaflucks flank you at Nixafluckachuckafuck?
    • In the commentary, Spoony says that he managed to deliver that line flawlessly on his first try, only for the shot to be ruined by the onlookers all bursting into laughter.

Lords Of Magick

  • SPAZ LASERS!
  • When the two brothers are hauled before the king and tried for the crimes of murder AND necromancy, the nobleman claims "they cut off my hands, my feet, my ears, and my balls." Cut to Spoony staring in confusion before "Fucking objection! He's clearly got... you know what fuck it, I wanna see where he's going with this."
    • The King's response to the nobleman claiming he died after the torture he went through.
    King: You died?
    Nobleman: I got better.
  • Spoony's montage of different advertising mascots bursting into libraries and wreaking destruction, to justify why the library in the movie has such strict background checks.
  • The evil sorcerer Salatin, as phase 1 of his plan to corrupt one of the two magician brothers, tells Ulric in a booming telepathic voice, "Go to the whore! Ulric! GO TO THE WHORE!" and later instructs him to fornicate with her (Ulric promptly kills her instead). Spoony is flabbergasted. "That voice is real? Other people hear it too?!" Not long after, he's on the phone with his lawyer saying he should never have accepted that insanity plea.
    • On Twitter, a flabbergasted Spoony noted that the thing most people were concerned about was that the scene showed him smoking & not the implication that Spoony kills prostitutes because voices tell him tonote .
    • Spoony's reaction to Michael asking the King if he would be allowed to resurrect his brother Ulric and the princess's subsequent disappointed reaction.
  • The entire ending fight scene, even without the commentary
    • "Screw magic, I'm just gonna kick your ass!"
    • "I'll HARM YOU
    • "FATHAAAAAH"
  • Spoony wondering why Ulric suddenly attacks an African American who shoves him while walking down the street. Cue memetic SWAT 4 line.
  • Spoony's Spit Take at Michael's boast that he can restore maidenheads.
  • The King informing the two brothers that they can identify his kidnapped daughter by the birthmark on her chest. This leads to, as Spoony puts it, the duo assaulting various women groping at their breasts looking for said birthmark instead of asking politely.
  • The first tactic that the heroes use in their heroic quest is contacting the spirits of the dead for information. Spoony, aghast that something this sinister is their Plan A, wonders why they didn't just jump straight to consorting with Satan. (For bonus points, he's holding a lamp as he says this - FFVIII fans will recall that Diabolos is conjured via exactly that.)

Tekken: The Motion Picture

  • Spoony's eyebrows. Oh my God. And they keep getting bigger through the review until he peels them off.
    • "Ah, that's hair!"
  • Spoony noting that the Fauxlosophic Narration at the start of the film sounds exactly like something written by the Ultimate Warrior.
  • Spoony and Linkara's hysterical, B-Movie worthy panic about multi-gene lifeforms, because having more than one gene is unnatural!
  • His reaction to Heihachi's spiel about how lions throw their cubs over cliffs.
    Heihachi: Lions push their cubs over a cliff and raise only the one that climb back up!
    Spoony: No, no they don't. You see, I researched it, and lions are extremely protective of their young and would never hurl them off a cliff! So basically the instigating event that set into motion the plot of the movie and every single Tekken game is complete bullshit!
    Heihachi: If you're truly my son then you'll be able to climb back up.
    [Hurls Kazuya off the cliff]
    Spoony: You think he'd double check that little factoid before throwing his son off a cliff. I'll bet he went home after and checked online "Aw, son of a—! Well now I just feel silly..."
  • The scene with the invitation card.
    Jun: What is this?
    Spoony: It's fucking spelled wrong, is what it is! Well Come? It's the biggest multinational defence contractor in history but their graphic design department needs help!
  • "Yeah, for a cop I have a really bad habit of assaulting unarmed women from behind." Spoony giving off this line after Lei randomly attacks Jun from behind before introducing himself.
  • SPEED LINES!!!
  • "Stabbing Westward, what the hell?!"
  • Spoony's reaction to this line:
    Jun: Why are you so upset, is it because your father threw you off that cliff?
    Spoony: [laughs] Oh, well done Holmes! I think you've solved this mystery!
  • Splicing in "Oooooh... nasty." after Anna gets chomped by a dinosaur.
  • "OK, so now this movie has dinosaurs with cloaking devices".
  • The scene where Michelle Chang (Who Spoony accidentally refers to as Julia) lobs an axe at Heihachi only for him to catch the weapon in his mouth and bite it into pieces: "Somebody actually wrote in the screenplay, 'Julia throws a tomahawk at Heihachi, who catches it in his mouth, and eats it.'"
  • Replacing the localized music in one scene with music from Cowboy Bebop.
    • Even funnier when you know that the "replacement music" is from the scene where Spike drops a live grenade just as he get thrown through a stained glass window by Vicious.
  • It's easy to chuckle at him dismissing a a "Legend of Zelda" movie as "boring".
  • Doctor Boskonovitch introducing Roger to Lei and Jack: "We manipulated a kangaroo's embryonic DNA..." Spoony's reaction: "WHY?!?!?" What makes it great is that he just plays that one word over the footage and then lets it continue.
  • Lee's Large Ham line "I'LL NEVER GIVE IT UP, NOT TO ANYONE, WAAAARGH!" which Spoony uses as a Running Gag in several future reviews.
  • His short montage of doing various things Heihachi's rambling dialogue near the end, culminating with -
    Heihachi: My Tekken will create the destruction of the devil, and the renewal of the gods!
    Spoony: I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT SENTENCE MEANS!
  • Referring to Lee Chaolan as "Maximillian Pegasus" complete with Abridged Series dialogue thanks to Lee's rather middle-aged design in this movie...and later realizing..."Hey that's not Pegasus, I know who that is! It's Miles Edgeworth! *OBJECTION!*"
  • Spoony's confusion to Kazuya telling Nina to warn Heihachi that he "should clean his neck while he's waiting for [him]". note 
    Spoony as Kazuya: And let my father know, he should wash behind his ears, too.

Tekken (2010)

  • Film Brain's reaction to Lee's Tekken 5 ending.
  • The constant clips from Star Wars and Spider-Man showing how the film is so similar to both.
  • Spoony and Brain's reinterpretation of the fan's reaction to Jin winning Iron Fist.
    Spoony: Yeah! That guy won even though that doesn't affect me at all!
    Brain: We still have no healthcare!
    Spoony: I've been eating rats for months!
    Brain: I have scurvy!
  • Spoony's response to Heihachi's first appearance onscreen. It's just too good of a joke to quote on here.
  • The film contains the line "You're in my way." Spoony doesn't react well.
  • Spoony's near-Squee! amusement to the tournament's random stage selection.
    Spoony: UFC needs to set up little Styrofoam battle locations instead of a boring old cage. I'd love to see mixed martial art battles take place in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey.

King Of Fighters

  • During a fight scene where Rugal Bernstein (played by Ray Park) fights Kyo.
    Spoony: It was inevitable that Ray Park was going to get a quarterstaff in this movie, wasn't it? *Cue Duel of the Fates*
  • He's so upset about Terry Bogard's characterization that he keeps playing sound clips from various Fatal Fury and KOF games over his dialogue (Up to and including "MAXIMUM ATTACK!" from Wild Ambition.)
  • His remark on Kyo being a halfbreed.
    Yeah, half white and the other half white.
  • The "computer nerd" spends an ice age typing, in order to bring up an animation. "I made this with typing!"
  • There's a scene where Rugal's trying to find the right weapon to fight Kyo with, with Spoony doing the same thing. ::a foam hammer appears:: Too Donkey Kong! ::he pulls out a gunblade. Too Final Fantasy! ::the Dizzy Gilespie figure appears in his hands:: Too jazzy!

DOA: Dead or Alive

  • The movie provides the most gratuitous ass-shot in the history of the world, which causes the Ass Shot meter to rise beyond recordable levels, outputting 'numbers' such as "ERROR," "OBEY INSANO," and other random numbers, finally exploding. All with Spoony laughing in the background. "Oh jesus, heheh."
  • Film Brain's cameo results in him being maimed by Spoony's rabid fanbase... with who assault his home with a battering ram and grenades.
  • During the movie, there's a scene involving the girls playing volleyball. He wants to put in "Playing With the Boys", but he doesn't know what the lesbian equivalent is.
  • There is an unexpected cameo from Bandit Keith, who takes offense at Tina Armstrong being referred to as a bimbo... because she's American.
  • Spoony comparing Kasumi's improbable insta-hang-glider in the film to those from Yor: The Hunter from the Future and Cave Dwellers.
  • The amazing free-throw an off-screen DOA employee makes with a DOA invitation shuriken that manages to successfully land on Christie's motorbike perfectly without missing or hitting Christie herself. And Christie smirking at this. Cue Spoony imagining said shuriken hitting Christie instead. *SPLAT!*
    Oops. S-sorry!
  • Splicing in Lee Chaolan's "I'LL NEVER GIVE IT UP!!" line after Donovan sets his island to self-destruct.
  • Spoony's bafflement at Donovan's plan to...download combat data from various fighters and their styles into a pair of sunglasses allowing the wearer to become a master martial artist. Spoony manages to point out how one could easily carry out that scheme without making it an evil plan.
    • The subsequent scene of Donovan's plan failing miserably thanks to Weatherby literally warning the CIA who immediately go for it. Spoony's incredulity at how they would immediately believe an email detailing such a plot.
  • How does Spoony compare the mostly stoic and grim movie Kasumi to her video game counterpart? By showing Kasumi's DOA 4 ending. The one where she's a mermaid singing a pop song about love and happiness. Yep.
  • The Stinger at the very end of the review: a minute-long clip from one of the games featuring a girl awkwardly rocking back and forth on an inflatable pool toy.

Skullduggery

  • "It's like a fucking alien wrote this movie! ...Or Benzaie. Same thing, really."
  • Simcoe, the magician from the movie shows up in Spoony's room and using the same magic he turns a condom into a balloon animal, makes tortillas and beer appear out of thin air, and puts two Oreo cookies into his hat and takes Oreo the puppy out of it.
    • This gets better with its place in Noah's video on his favorite jokes of 2011. He notes that he has no idea why he felt the need to give an origin story for Oreo on his show, when he already made a whole video about her.
    • Look closely in the background and you can see Oreo standing there watching him for some of this routine. Spoony admitted this was a mistake on Twitter, but since the entire point of this sequence was how unimpressive the "magic" was, it actually makes it even funnier.
  • His anger with the annoying pervert that turns EVERY line into a Double Entendre, shocked that there exists a character more one-dimensional than Glenn Quagmire.
    • He's also very upset that this is one of the few characters who survives the movie.
  • While watching a scene where a nurse is trying to seduce the killer by acting like a mother to her child, a cop (played by his brother) busts in and starts beating him for watching kiddie porn.
    Miles: [while beating Spoony with his baton] STOP RESISTING! STOP RESISTING!
  • When noticing that nobody seems all that amazed about Simcoe's ability to literally magically create beer and nachos out of nothing: "What happened here was a miracle, and I want you to fucking acknowledge it!"

Tekken: Blood Vengeance

  • Spoony announces a drinking game, based on a comment from the director that this will be a movie for everyone rather than just fans: every time Spoony sees something you need to be a fan to understand, he'll take a shot. Cue the first few seconds of the movie, Xiaoyu dashing through the streets riding on a panda. Spoony promptly drops his shot glass and starts chugging from the bottle.
    • Spoony comparing Oreo and the in-movie panda: "You can't just introduce a character in your movie riding a panda to school and not explain that shit! I established my fucking dog in storyline and I do internet reviews!"
    • Introducing a second rule after seeing Ganryu as a stern gym teacher, "New rule: If having knowledge of the video game actually makes you understand the movie LESS, take two shots." *Ding Ding.
  • Miles' weary reaction to be dragged into one of Spoony's reviews to be talked at in an extremely odd fashion to Lampshade similar language in the movie- "Get a job".
    • The whole time, Spoony is holding Oreo and petting her like he's a Bond villain.
  • The constant digs at Shin's Wangst-iness, complete with snippets of Linkin Park's "Crawling" playing in the background whenever he's on screen.
  • Lee's frequent and Non Sequitur "EXCELLENT!"
  • Spoony acting like the Heihachi vs Jin vs Kazuya fight is a demented anime wrestling match, with him commentating in the style of Jim Ross.
    Announcer!Spoony: And Kazuya punches Jin completely across the room, STRAIGHT INTO A GERMAN SUPLEX! GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY! Jin with a Booker T Axe Kick through the floor! But wait, Heihachi catches him and delivers a sit up Power Bomb through the surface of the Earth! Slobber-Knocker, King! Pier Six Brawl!
  • In a Call-Back to his first Tekken review, he plays the Cowboy Bebop music again when Xiaoyu gets hurled out of a window.
  • His running gag of shouting out the movie's title in one of the, many, extended scenes dedicated to Alisa and Xiaoyunote  talking about their crushes, coming up with silly names for their attacks, generally gossiping, etc etc...
    Spoony: Tekken: BLOOOOOOD VENGEANCE!
  • Spoony's baffled reaction at the fans of the game hating Tekken 2010 despite it having a lot of fighting and being at worst So Okay, It's Average.
  • The end of the review:
    Spoony: "Fucking Panda, where did they come up with this shit?!"
  • "We're in a high speed Panda chase. (Rockets pop out of Alisa's back to propel the Panda even faster). And now we've got a hypersonic flying rocket panda in this movie. Oh my god, we've just completely jumped the rails haven't we."

Game Over: Control-Alt-Death

  • Spoony opens up the video detailing the food poisoning he recently got over. While it should be disgusting, the way he goes on and on about it is hard not to laugh at.
    • Especially the way he delivers the words 'I literally shat myself into unconsciousness'. Funny sentence perfectly handled.
  • Spoony, along with several cameos, freaking out over how horrible it would be if the evil computer made Gary Coleman the President of the United States.
    • What makes this even better is that Spoony just brushes off the scientist's initial fears that the computer could launch nukes or crash the stock market. Then the scientist says, "He could make Gary Coleman president!" Everyone panics.
    • "LOOT THE STOCK MARKET! GRAB ALL THE INSTANT MASHED POTATOES YOU CAN!"
  • The whole premise of a guy getting sucked into Sega CD games. The fact the film uses FMV footage from them makes this even more hilarious.
  • Spoony's reaction to the Net Police getting sent over 200 spam emails. Followed by his skit casting himself as a police chief mobilizing everyone to find out who sent them, ending with "You tell 'im I'm comin'! And hell's comin' with me, you hear! Hell's comin' with me!"
  • At about 11 minutes in, Spoony says this in a fast-paced monotone: "Gee I wonder if Drexel will become self-aware and attempt to eradicate humanity I can't tell because the foreshadowing is TOO FUCKING SUBTLE what do you think Admiral Ackbar?" All while a red police siren is seen going off on his shelf.
    Ackbar: It's a---
    Spoony: Oh, fuck it! This plot is so lame and predictable, I'm too bored to use Admiral Ackbar.
  • His imitations of people trying to sell stuff during the bazaar scenes.
    "Would you like to buy some used gas masks?" "How about a road side tattoo!?" "Can I offer you some dead rats, milord?"

Star Wars Comics

  • Spoony impersonates Linkara for this, similar to his Snob impersonation for a prior April Fool's day. He even takes special care to pronounce "Room" as "Rum", a quirk of Linkara's Minnesotan accent.
    • He also plays with it by presenting Linkara as fan of Star Wars and not interested in Doctor Who or Star Trek (in reality of course it's the other way around) and then subverts that with a subtle piece of Hypocritical Humour - it keeps cutting to him using an Original Series Star Trek phaser as a prop.
  • The typical At4W theme song is altered to lampshade the impersonation:
    Welcome to Atop the Fourth Wall
    Where bad comics burn.
    Linkara's gonna teach you all
    A lesson you won't learn.
    Seriously, that's Linkara,
    Don't you think I'd notice if it wasn't Linkara?
    I'm the dude who wrote two songs about Linkara,
    I think I know what he looks like!
    Linkara!
    He's a man! Look! He even wears a hat!
    Linkara!
    It's not like Spoony gave me 50 bucks to write this crap!
    Linkara!
    Blue! Robot! Who else owns one of those?
    Linkara!
    You thought it was Spoony but you're not even close, it's LINKARAAAAAAAAAAA!
  • Noting the fact that Obi-Wan always refers to "The Force" in the text and saying he can practically hear the Air Quotes.
  • Constantly pointing out the Narm-ish use of SpaceX terminology.
  • His increasing horror at the multiple Ship Tease moments between Luke and Leia, suggesting Lucas didn't really have their plotlines fully planned out when he handed in his script to Marvel...
    • He eventually ends the review after seeing a panel of Chewbacca hitting on two female aliens at a bar:
    Woah! Did Chewbacca just hook up a threesome? Did Marvel Comics just invent Wookiee Porn? The internet didn't even exist yet! How does Rule 34 still apply? Ugh... I need a shower. Marvel Comics, you're full of perverts! (throws comic down)
  • The gag about the "Five Fire Rings of Fornax" becomes a bit more hilarious with knowledge that, decades after the comics were written, "Fornax" is an in-universe adult magazine in the Mass Effect universe.note 
  • The song in the end credits is taken from Star Wars Kinect.

The Barbarians

  • The review starts with Spoony and Insano's son.
    Spoony: Doc, you left your pink blob thing in the freezer again!
  • There's a scene where the two heroes sneak into the enemy camp to rescue their mother. To avoid getting caught, the two of them (who are brothers both in-story and in real life) start kissing which makes Spoony scream and throw up, then spend the next couple scenes in shock!
    • It culminates in the scene where, the two brother then get involved in an orgy with several women, in the same bed, and in front of the woman who is basically their mother.
      Spoony: ...I feel like I need to gargle with napalm! *sobs* I NEED AN ADULT!
  • When talking about the poster, Spoony holds up a physical copy of it...then starts immediately protesting that he bought the poster for the review, while Dr. Insano's Gaydar goes haywire.
  • Spoony's sheer glee at the bizarre "moose mating call" sound that the brothers constantly make is just palpable.
  • Spoony shows why having front row seats to death matches is not a good idea.
  • Spoony managing to pull off a brilliant Beyond Thunderdome reference.
    Spoony: OH YEAH!! That's how it's done Linkara you bitch! This is what's gonna happen! (lobs a trilby on his chair and elbow-drops it before flipping the double bird* THUNDERDOME!!
  • In a follow-up video, he rants about how the movie contains a moment so stupid (the villain forgetting that he's missing two fingers) that his mind rebelled at what it was seeing and he completely ignored it in the review itself, instead inventing another reason that, while still stupid, was at least more plausible than what the movie showed.
    • The moment is so stupid that even as he's trying to explain it he still messes up:
      Spoony: I believe we're shown in the movie earlier we're shown that he's grown quite adept at wielding a sword, quite precise, with his left hand.note 
      *cut immediately to a clip where the villain uses his right hand*
      Caption: *DING* Wrong again, dumbass.

Massacre At Central High (Part 1)

  • The opening of the film, where Insano rescues Spoony from the Black Hole of Board Games by Dividing By Zero, and chucks a copy of the film to Spoony, claiming it was "the Spoony Movie" he promised people in his Patreon. Spoony is naturally confused, since he hasn't even come up with a concept for the Spoony Movie, and Insano eventually admits that he yanked it out of the Porn Stash of The Cinema Snob in an alternate universe.
    • Said Alternate Universe!Cinema Snob jumps in when Spoony complains the opening theme sounded like it would be his theme song, and then points out how the film had an alternate cut in Italy called "Sexy Jeans", which took the sex scenes Up to Eleven, including...
    Alt!Cinema Snob "'The naked canyon sequence with Spoony?!' (Recoils in disgust) Okay, take the movie! It's a wonder it can even contain footage THAT nightmarish without bursting into flame!!"
    Spoony: "Hey, fuck you, Four-Eyes!!"
    Alt!Cinema Snob "NOT FOR ALL THE LUBE IN VATICAN CITY, SAXAPHONE DICK!!!"
  • Spoony's shock at finding out that one of the characters in the movie is not only named Spoony, but just about has the exact same hair and nose he does!
  • The aptly-timed Gatekeeper cameo questioning Spoony's age after Spoony makes another old culture reference.
  • "Oh man, they dropped a car on his leg! It is going to be jacked up! (rimshot)"
  • Speaking of cars, there's a lengthy gem where Spoony berates the return of the "space age" music...only to suddenly transition into, of all things, a solar energy ad. Bonus points for ending off with "the enormous fucking boom mic."

Massacre At Central High (Part 2)

"Firing Line"

  • Spoony sporting a moustache after seeing Reb's character sporting a Badass Moustache.

    Video Game Reviews 
  • Spoony's review of the video-game version of The Thing (2002) is simply hilarious.
  • Hilarious as his Final Fantasy VIII review his review of Final Fantasy VII was even better. Its funniest moment was the male otaku cosplaying Sailor Moon.
    • The censored version (on Youtube) is even funnier than the uncensored version, because some of the stuff in the porn montage is bleeped out, leaving you guessing...
      • "I even found one of * BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP* Quistis * BLEEP* ing herself and * BLEEP* ing her own three-foot * BLEEEEEEP* , while ch* BLEEP* with her whip, sticking the handle in her * BLEEP* and jamming a vibrator in her own * BLEEP* . Talk about multitasking... You know I'm boring when the most creative I get is using my left hand. This isn't even physically possible! Her * BLEEP* would drag the ground! No amount of duct tape could conceal this!"
    • "BOOBS DO NOT WORK THIS WAY! They should not account for 60% of a woman's mass!"
    • His comments on the crossdressing part in Wall Market are utterly hilarious as well.
  • His review of the Hell's Kitchen game, where he cranks the Narm Charm to the max as he demonstrates he's finding playing Iron Chef with the various dolls and action figures in his room more enjoyable than playing the game. And of course, his Chef Ramsay impression, and "their" expressions at the graphic of Ramsay in the game.
    Spoony: "It looks like you, but all waxy and deflated and weird."
    Ramsay: "It looks like me if I were thirty pounds overweight and made out of fucking Play-Doh!"
  • Power Klingon
    • The confused look on Spoony's face when Michael Dorn/Worf mentions a Beta Quadrant species that mates with itself.
    • When talking about how Klingons treat trading as a battle:
    Your Big Mac is 99 cents. *gets into fighting stance and imitates Amok Time fighting music*
    • In the opening brawl, one shouted phrase is subtitled as "Garbage Day!"
  • After getting past a difficult part in his Dirty Harry review, he goes insane after finding out he's actually gone back to the start of the level again. "I HAVE MY RIGHTS, I HAVE MY RIGHTS!!! IT WAS CALLAHAN, THE BIG ONE, HE DID THIS TO ME!!! AAAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
    • In the same review, he had to get past a man by finding a guy who looks like a pimp and jumping up and down in front of him, prompting the guy to switch clothes with him.
      "Okay, seriously, how would you ever figure that out on your own? Is it just me? Were you watching me play this game and thinking "no, you idiot, you need a white suit! Go find a pimp and jump up and down in front of him and he'll give you a white suit, ya fucking moron!""
  • "Naked Zombie Sean Connery". 'Nuff said.
    • Made even funnier with Michael Jackson's Thriller as the background music.
  • From his Sewer Shark review, about the Big Eater villain Stenchler:
    "Look at this pimp! He's riding double on a surfboard with a hot chick, catching a wave with an 18-inch hot dog in one hand! I have a new role model!"
    • His comments on the actors, most notably Ghost.
    Spoony Ghost: "Time for a video about sex education, Dog Meat!"
  • The X-Files: Resist or Serve review:
    • Spoony uses his action figures to make a better acted cutscene than the ones in the game. This includes Neo getting molested by Big Daddy's drill, giant Dizzy Gillespie tooting off Green Lantern and a caption "NEEDS GIRLFRIEND BADLY".
    • Followed by a sequel where Golden Age Superman shouts racist epiphets at Giant Dizzy Gillespie before being defeated, and the terror is finally taken down by Conan the Barbarian.
    • SECRET NAZI SUBDIREKTOR SKINNER.
  • Make My Video
    • His Go Mad from the Revelation moment at the start of Make My Video: Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch when he becomes convinced that the kid protagonist and his sister are Skrull clones of himself and his sister.
    Spoony: (pointing frantically) "Skrull! Skrull! I've been secretly invaded!
    • Then moments later, when the brother and sister characters have destroyed the bedroom they're in after an apparent brawl (although it looks like they've done something else...)
    Spoony: Oh God, what the hell just happened in this bedroom?! Gross! She's your SISTER, Skrull-Me! GROSS!
    • Spoony quipping that Marky Mark bears a strong resemblance to John Cena.
    • And then later when he sees the high school band guys in the Marky Mark video and the two surfer dudes from INXS and thinks they look like Bill and Ted.
    • Spoony describing the "game mechanics" of the INXS version only to stop dead in his tracks to bring attention to one of the characters talking while nonsensically pulling random props like a rubber chicken from under her blouse.
    • And let's not forget his breakdown midway through the review (during the Kris Kross portion), when he dares to ask... "I'm a what Mack Daddy?"
    • Or his reaction to a request from one of the Kris Kross callers:
    Caller: I want to see lots of switching stuff and Daddy Mac dribbling between his legs!
    Spoony: You want to see what?!
    Caller: —Daddy Mac dribbling between his legs!
    Spoony: (disgusted) Ohh! You're sick! You're sick!
  • Dr. Insano (at the end of Spoony's review of Street Fighter 2010): "What in the name of Schrodinger's Pussy are you?"
    • I got a giggle when he talked to his cute son: (cheery) "You mean you want to HELP me take over the world?"
    • Also, this part:
      Game Opening Crawl: "Every frontier world the killer visited because quickly infested with Troy and Ken's remarkable cyboplasm. In small doses, it can give people the extra strength they need to remain alive. In large doses, it comes alive and takes over the body and mind of its host, turning them into violent, mindless supermen or, in some cases, superaliens."
      Spoony: "Cyboplasm is a lot like Red Bull."
    • "You turned my partner Troy into jelly! I will have you destroyed for this! He was mine to toy with and destroy as I pleased in a humorous fashion! Nobody outdoes Doctor Insano, do you hear?! NOBODY!"
  • Spoony's rendition of the Iron Chef, hosted by Giant Dizzy Gillespie!
  • His Terror TRAX: Track of the Vampire review is even better for the PC version than the audio CD version.
    • Over a shot of incoherent screaming and waving camera angles in near-total darkness: "I tried to do a video review of Twilight, but this is how it came out."
      • Over a similar shot: "The audio book version was more visible than this!"
    • "Oh no, bars!"
    • "A cigarette wouldn't make a sizzling noise like that even if it were made of bacon!! [beat] Mmmm, bacon cigarettes...."
    • (In a Shout-Out to The Angry Video Game Nerd's Atari Jaguar review) "Where did you learn to fly?"
    • "If only I had some kind of weapon!"
    • The review of the audio CDs are still very funny, especially his comments on Agent Snake's dickish behavior and Metal Gear references.
    • When it turns out that the evil vampire is named Vitus Hemos, Spoony immediately starts mocking the Steven Ulysses Perhero aspect by saying the only way it could be more obvious is if he were named Dr. Acula.
      • Followed by claiming that his parents named him Jimmy O'Buttocks because they really wanted him to be a proctologist.
  • Spoony's Pumpkinhead's Revenge review. That is all.
    • "...Space Mountain is my penis."
    • Linkara's cameo. "I...am the Bee Keeper!"
      • "Oh my God, I wrote that...."
    • His rage at the end crosses the line between Funny and Nightmare Fuel. "I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU! I WILL STAB YOU IN THE BRAIN!"
    • "Three fuckin' dollars, and I still feel dirty and cheated. Like I paid to have sex with a monkey. A dude monkey."
    • "I didn't know anything about this game, so that meant I had to do research on it... and by 'research' I mean 'I checked Wikipedia', but, guess how much I found! NOTHING! FUCKING NOTHING! [...] There are no walkthroughs, no hints, no details, nothing! All I was able to find was a short text review someone had written, a brief video capture on Youtube, and a few sites that have the blurb from the back of the box. I even checked the software developer's website, and all it had was a few 60-pixel-wide screenshots! I just wanted to find some instructions so I could find out how to fucking play it, or at least figure out what I had to do, but no! I had to pick the game that time forgot! I just... I can't believe it. The entire Internet culture, in all its futility and splendor, well-known for its bottomless stupidity and yet tireless patience in completing the shittiest, most painful games with the most insane self-imposed handicaps, had turned its back on Pumpkinhead's Revenge."
    • "You have no idea what I had to go through to find a copy of this game with the box and the instructions still intact. This game is rarer than the Holy Grail... for, like, the Antichrist!"
    • The guest commentary when Spoony finally breaks down totally and can only shriek "PUMPKINHEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!" at the top of his lungs.
      Benzaie: Beary, did you hear that? That's the sound of ultimate suffering. My heart made that noise when I first saw Sonic turning into a werewolf. The Spoony One makes it now.
      Beary: Do you think we should go help him?
      Benzaie: Are you crazy? I just got accepted into the Brotherhood of Steel!
  • Spoony pointing out the "dancing" people in the background in the Privateer 2: The Darkening review. And his realization that telling the viewers about a crappy game and a crappy movie made by the same company was a bad idea.
    • Also, the bartender in the game giving Clive Owen a Death Glare worthy of the Janitor.
    • "Of course, Lev's forgotten past is full of danger and people wanting to kill him, and not swimsuit models and people wanting to give him pie."
    • "And now... a space cowboy with nuclear farts!"
    • "BRIAN BLESSED acting like a raging jackass."
    • Spoony proving how bad the enemy A.I. is by leaving his ship stationary and letting them attack him. "And you know how long it took him [to destroy his ship]? Neither do I, because he COULDN'T. FUCKING. DO IT! Congratulations, guys! Your enemy AI is less effective than the fucking UFO in Asteroids!"
    • His reaction to receiving emails in battle.
    • While Spoony narrates about the general premise of the game, a few random FMV clips are shown, one of which shows Clive Owen blowing up a door and then promptly getting a face full of shrapnel.
      Caption: "AAH! Shit!"
    • During the commentary for the episode, Spoony interrupts his own monologue about his experiences with the X3 series to verbally shake his head at BRIAN BLESSED's performance.
      "BRIAN BLESSED, my God, man, what are you doing?"
    • "It's that kind of freedom, that little personal touch of pointless cruelty that makes you feel like a real authentic space bastard!"
  • In his Johnny Mnemonic review, after referring to the manual in order to figure out the fighting system:
    Spoony: OK, how fucking stupid does this game think I am!? "Winning is good, losing is bad! Protip: don't get beaten up by Andy Dick!"
  • During his review of the Deadliest Warrior video game, when Sean Fausz's spartan kills Spoony's pirate in ONE FREAKING SHOT.
    Spoony: This is gonna be sweet cause I've been meaning to teach Sean a lesson for a while now! GET YOU SOME, ASSHO...[HEADSHOT]...uh...wha...FUCKING BULLSHIT!
    • The very beginning, where you're expecting the theme song and instead get "This game is fucking retarded!"
    • His follow-up to his review of Deadliest Warrior the game has him shooting down most of the feedback he got from supporters of the game who were under the impression that he only played one match and based his review of that. (He actually played for about 5 hours). The most memorable part was his reaction when one supporter claims that 'You do not auto-turn in a real life fight'.
  • Highlander: Last Of The MacLeods: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
    • The review starts off with Spoony incredulously staring at the camera and exclaiming "There's a Highlander video game! Did you even know that!?"
    • "No one knows who they were...or...what they were doin'..."
    • On a character of the Highlander animated series that looks an awful lot like a blackface minstrel: "This has to be the most racist thing I have ever seen in animation since [picture of Skids and Mudflap] Ok, never mind."
    • Dr. Insano successfully getting an Atari Jaguar CD to work after much frustration.
      Dr. Insano: This abomination is a piece of crap! I got it to work, barely, but the thing about the Jaguar CD is that, not only is it prone to hardware failures, it's prone to about five different ways it can fail. It can fail if the CD device isn't perfectly set on the machine, it can fail if the contacts aren't clean, it can fail if the Memory Track cart isn't perfectly set, and it can easily fail because the laser itself or the motor mechanism are defective — and they often are — and, in this case, it would often fail because the lid is so poorly designed that, when closed, it actually closes too tightly and mashes the CD against the inside of the drive preventing it from spinning, and that can easily cause additional internal damage. And of course the video quality is shit! The only output option on the Jaguar is this stupid RF antenna switchbox which produces this horrible warbly signal, and this in an age when even the Super Nintendo had RCA cables! And even when I did get it to work, the Jaguar still froze all the time and I do mean ALL THE DAMN TIME! I mean...why is there a ten-digit keypad on the controllers?! Why are there handles on the cartridges?! I've never worked so hard to get something this broken to function! I could be playing "House" right now!!
    • Spoony mocks the game's disorienting, constantly switching camera angles with a brief scene where he comes out of the bathroom only to constantly throw himself against the walls because the camera angle changes with every few steps he takes.
    • DEEP HURTING.
    • OH MY GOD! What's wrong with your face?
    • The end of the review has Dr Insano mention that there was another Highlander video game, which was based on the films. Spoony asks if that was any good, and Insano replies that it wasn't, before mentioning the Highlander game which has a trailer on the DVD for Highlander: The Source which looked good but was ultimately cancelled. All Spoony can do is ask why they have a copy of The Source, at which point the camera cuts back to a grinning Insano.
    • "I can't even fight Iggy Pop?!"
  • Spoony and Eight Bit Mickey teamed up to give the MST treatment to a VHS strategy guide of the WWF Arcade Game. It featured Spoony reciting the Konami Code, while doing a Paul Bearer impression.
  • A real gem in his review of Microcosm, when he notices that one of the levels has him going down to the femur rather than the upward course to the brain
    Spoony: Ok, brief biology lesson, ok? The brain is up here! The femur is down here! You're heading towards his dick! YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!!!
  • The Ring: Terror's Realm: *SppplllAAAAT* "This game sucks in zero seconds!"
    • Spoony's amusement at the fact that they used a stock splat sound effect for the opening menu (and many more times throughout the games) is hilarious.
    • "You okay lady?" said by a paramedic to the protagonist, who was currently screaming over the corpse of her boyfriend, also led to Spoony collapsing into a fit of giggles.
    • When he shows the horrifying video that killed the boyfriend: it's a Rick Roll.
    • The Dalad Jelly rant. To elaborate, in the cafeteria of Meg's office building, they advertise various foods available, such as "Drink", "Chinese", and "Italian". The second option from the right is a very low-resolution texture which initially seems to read "Salad Jelly", but upon changing camera angles, that first letter quite clearly becomes a D. Spoony spends a whole two minutes completely mystified by what this mystery food could be and how he could possibly acquire some.note 
    • The ending of the video; the game's protagonist gets a call, which is put on hold until the Protagonist finishes the current objective. She picks up the phone, and the caller turns out to be Sadako, the evil ghost. Spoony lampshades how stupid or how awesome someone would have to be to put a rage ghost that can kill people with a tape on hold. He then gets a call from Ghostface, who he abruptly hangs up on.
    • The return of the magician from the Skullduggery review.
      • Who is really the headless from the Ultima Underworld 2 review!
    • Spoony shows us how reloading a gun and healing jelly works.
    • Randomly going off on a rant about how trapper keepers suck, apropos of nothing, and then being horrified that the game is bad enough that he's now reviewing trapper keepers instead.
  • In the Minority Report: Everybody Runs video game, he comments about how Anderton is protesting that he's not going to kill anyone, only to cut to a montage of him throwing police officers so they'll suffer multistory and most likely fatal drops, or chucking them into fires. The scene from Demolition Man was the icing on the cake.
    Computer Voice: MurderDeathKill, MurderDeathKill, MurderDeathKill...
    • ... Which promptly leads into a second montage only moments later, featuring Anderton's killing spree reaching new heights. This time to I Believe I can fly.
    • Also, after Spoony realizes that the precogs would surely have predicted Anderton's murderous rampage, he starts getting pelted by red ping pong balls from off-screen for every opponent Anderton throws to their gruesome death.
    • And that bit comes mostly to a close with him getting pelted with forty or more red balls at once with his arms in a Christ pose.
    • Recognizing that their render of Witwer looks like Angry Joe, their render of Anderton looks like Neal McDonough (leading him to get a quick knock in at Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li) and comparing Witwer's Henchman to Random Tasknote .
    • Pointing out how slowly John Anderton moves at the start of the film when time is of the essence with his job.
    • Addressing the matter of (paraphrasing) "if your boss told you to 'get' somebody chasing him down, would you care enough to do so?"
    • "This isn't Minority Report with John Anderton. This is Minority Report with the fucking Kurgan!"
      • Kurgan!Anderton: *as he throws a cop through a large window* "There can be only one!"
    • After showing a clip from the movie when Anderton claims the precogs are never wrong, and Witwer asks why they can't see rapes, Spoony replies with...
    Spoony: Oh no, they can see those too! In that case, we go out, we prevent the guy from having sex and the guy gets blue balls! *cue booing crowd.*
    • Spoony's response to being allowed to make Anderton throw a Precrime employee from a great height through several amounts of windows.
      Spoony: OH MY GOD! Oh holy shit did you just see that?! He fell like forty feet through I don't know how much fucking plate glass! That guy is fucking DEAD!
    • When Anderton punches a robot, Spoony dubs on the sound from Linkara punching Neutro (and hurting his hand), and then adds that that's what happens if you try punching robots in real life.
      Spoony: Fuck you, Snow.
    • Spoony's Hurricane of Puns about balls when he talks about how information about the precrimes is carved on wooden balls, nearly all of them done in an Innocent Innuendo fashion.
  • In his off the cuff review of The Bureau: X-Com Declassified, he comments on a particularly stupid "minor" mission.
    Spoony: And then another minor mission is that a NUCLEAR MISSILE SILO has been taken over by aliens. The minor mission is to retake the NUCLEAR MISSILE SILO before they launch the missile at an unknown location. Minor! No rush. No biggie! When you can. This could only start...could only start the next world war. And sure enough, when you get there, it's targeted for Washington D.C. (Game clip) Minor mission! I like to imagine like what would have happened had you not gone there. I'm sure nothing would have happened, like in terms of plot, but had you gone after the artifact and come back and you're like, "Well good one Carter, you went after the train and now DC is fucking gone!" And honestly that's one of the better case scenarios. Imagine if they'd launched it toward fucking Moscow. Yeah, a lot more than Moscow would have been gone. Minor mission my balls! Like to minor mission my dick up whoever designed this fucking game. A nuclear missile silo gets taken and whoever was assigning the dossiers for these missions and assigning priorities to these. "Oh nuclear missile silo in North Dakota's been taken. C. Y'know, priority C. When they get to it."
    • This is followed by the scene in Terminator 2: Judgment Day where the nuclear bomb goes off, followed by a shot of Carter getting scored by the T2 theme with his eye glowing all sinister, which is a Call-Back to Spoony's earlier statement that Carter looks like the T-1000.
    • Commenting on Carter's wangsty backstory, which includes every trauma in the book (dead friends, dead wife and children, war veteran, etc.) scored by Johnny Cash's "Hurt."
  • Spoony's playthrough of A Realm Reborn: Final Fantasy XIV lasts just over twenty minutes. He didn't much care for it.
    "Yeah, I quit after 20 minutes. I quit because they wanted me to kill squirrels & ladybugs. I quit because my first quest was delivering pie. Way to suck me into the action, guys. By this time in DC Universe I was blasting my way out of a Brainiac invasion ship. By this time in Star Trek Online I was fighting off a fucking Borg cube. By this time in Final Fantasy 14 I was handing off a fucking pie. Fuck the pie and fuck this game."
    • He starts ripping on the game for blatant Fanservice (there is an option in the character creator that let's you see your character in their underwear) only to react with horror when he selects the female Lalafell... who look like children.
    "This is pathetic. (female Miqo'te starts posing) Oh yeah. Uh huh This is pathetic! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. (she starts dancing) This is amazing. Really? (selects female Lalafell) OH MY GOD! What!? Oh no. No. (she does the Coy, Girlish Flirt Pose) Oh no! No! (switches to male Lalafell) NO! (as it starts dancing) OH GOD! OH GOD! What is that!? GAHHHHH!HAAAAHHHH! No, Chris Hanson, go away!
  • His review of the Big Trouble in Little China (Commodore 64) game has Spoony detailing the trouble he had to go through in order to get a European Commodore 64 (the game was only sold in Europe and locked to their version of the computer), the right monitor and various other elements necessary to get the game starting, only for April to show up at the door and ask why he didn't just used an emulator.
    • The stinger at the end showing the Headless holding up a Highlander game for the C64.
    • The manual describes Wang Chi's fighting style as karate fighting. Spoony yells that it's Chinatown, and Everybody Was Kung-Fu Fighting. "This cat was throwing lightning! This guy was a little bit frightening! And they...fought...with expert...timing..."
    • Getting a Game Over courtesy of a near-unavoidable Sewer Monster "You will come out no more!"
    • Spoony certainly is amazed upon finding out that the ingame gun weapon that Jack can obtain can kill the Storms in one shot...contrary to the film showing the Storms as being able to smash said guns into pieces with their bare hands and cannot be so easily killed by said weapons.
    Spoony: I'll stick with these. *referring to the Tec-9s he's dual-wielding*
    • The opening segment with Dr. Insano, his lawyer and an unexpected appearance from Simcoe the magician, who promptly creates a seahorse from Ultima: Runes of Virtue II from a plastic toy horse and some undoubtedly toxic seawater, then proceeds to smack it with his wand, enraging it before tipping his hat and leaving as calmly and wordlessly as he came in.
    Doctor Insano: Uh oh...
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