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Series / The Whitest Kids U' Know

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The Whitest Kids U Know is an uncensored sketch comedy show that began airing on Fuse TV (the former American feed of MuchMusic) in 2007, then switched to IFC in 2008. The cast members are Sam Brown, Zach Cregger, Timmy Williams, Darren Trumeter, and the late Trevor Moore. They're currently most famous for the "Slow Jerk" sketch, the "Abe Lincoln" sketch (in which Abe Lincoln is a loutish boor who annoys John Wilkes Booth to the point of assassinating him), and the "New Thing" sketch, which was (without the WKUK's permission) ripped off shamelessly by Budweiser. Most of their sketches fall under the following categories: Presidential Assassinations (with Zach as Abe Lincoln/Ronald Reagan/JFK, Trevor as John Wilkes Booth/John Hinckley/Lee Harvey Oswald, Sam as George H.W. Bush/Lyndon B. Johnson, and Darren as a Secret Service officer), Drag sketches (most often with Darren or Timmy as the girl), or just plain weird ones (Saturday, Opus, etc).


They've occasionally come into conflict with the higher-ups of Fuse (the censoring of swearing and sexual content led them to move the show to Fuse's then-sibling IFC) and even IFC (making them do 15-minute-long shows rather than half-hour long). But for the most part, they have full creative control of their sketches.

General tropes provided by the series:

  • Black Comedy:
    • Some of their sketches are extremely dark. One quote: "Children, I have some terrible news. One of your mothers was just killed in a car accident. Who wants to guess whose mother it was for a sucker? Huh?"
    • "Kid Mechanic" is one example played straight, to horrifying effect. A father notices his child has fallen over and takes him to a mechanic he mistakes for a doctor, resulting in the boy being hacked up and having his guts pulled out. After learning his mistake, he tries to tell his wife about it, who herself feels foolish for accidentally burning her parents to death by mistaking a pizza oven for a retirement home.
    • Advertisement:
    • "Baby Factory" takes it up to 11... then up to 12.
    • "We have to go save 9/11!"
  • Black Comedy Rape: The Grapist supposedly isn't a rapist but the way he acts in the commercials make it worryingly possible.
    Ad Pitcher: He sneaks into little kids' rooms in the middle of the night, and he grapes them in the mouth!
    • And later...
      Executive: These kids were obviously horrified!
      Ad Pitcher: Not that girl! Look - she's totally asking for it. Look at her! She's begging to get Graped!
  • Bowdlerise: A rather unusual example... it seems Youtube decided that "The Jizzle" was too raunchy for a video title and renamed it to "the aueter". Even though they let stuff like Jizz In My Pants by without censorship...
  • Dude Looks Like a Lady:
    • Darren, even though when not in drag he's pretty obviously a guy. Except then there's that "Weird the Stripper" sketch... the, er, makeup job was so pinpoint perfect that the viewer was kicked to his/her death over the rim of the Uncanny Valley. And the "Dog Poop" sketch which at first you really think it's a real girl.
    • It's pretty disturbing how convincing a lot of the guys are as women... especially Timmy, who could easily pass as someone's mom.
    • Lampshaded in the Yellow Mustard sketch, where a news report has Timmy's character in drag, and the caption is "cross-dresser"
  • Gosh Dang It to Heck!: Trevor never really says anything worse than "bitch", while the other guys curse like sailors.
    • Word of God says this is due to Trevor having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
    • Subverted with Pope Rap where he drops repeated f-bombs and curses like crazy.
  • Large Ham: Zach's characters tend to be this when he doesn't play the straight man.
  • Overly Long Gag: A lot of their sketches rely on this. "People like you think that the devil..."
  • Precision F-Strike: A common technique to end a sketch. If the entire sketch has been carefully devoid of profanity, expect to see this in action.
  • Refuge in Audacity: And how.
  • The Reveal: Many sketches end this way. A common gag is to have a sketch go in a seemingly normal direction until a wacky twist shows up at the end (Such as in "Jaws," or the one with the Clap On, Clap Off Rasta Drummer)
  • Sassy Black Woman: One reoccurring character is a fat black woman who usually says "oh HELLLL no!" when outraged.

Specific sketches from The Whitest Kids U Know give examples of:

  • Erotic Asphyxiation: Trevor engages in the act in one sketch, only to end up killing himself. He then undergoes a massive Humiliation Conga trying to hide how he died as a ghost.
  • Everything's Better with Dinosaurs:
    • Like gettin' high. "You're welcome... Internet."
    • Horses are also turned on by stegosauruses.
  • "Far Side" Island: "Island Cannibal" sketch
  • Fridge Logic: Invoked, in regards to the ending of The Lord of the Rings.
  • Gag Boobs: Darren as Weird the Stripper.
  • Get Your Mind Out of the Gutter: Said word for word in The Grapist.
    "Sir! Get your MIND out of the gutter! He's a GRAPE! How is a grape gonna rape a... No!"
  • Godwin's Law of Time Travel: Parodied. Apparently, just resetting your internet history is enough for Nazi zeppelins and Nazi dinosaurs with laser eyes to appear.
  • G-Rated Drug: "Hot Dogs" both pokes fun at Timmy's weight and alcoholics-in-denial by having him give a run-through of how many hot dogs he eats on an average day. While he attempts to low-ball at only seven, Trevor eventually gets him to admit that he hits that quota by mere lunchtime.
  • The Grim Reaper: Stumbles around making guttural animal noises, before devouring dead bodies and then depositing them in coffins... the hard way.
  • Groin Attack: "Yeah dude, that's another new thing! If you use an incomplete sentence, you get kicked in the balls!"
  • Haute Cuisine Is Weird: Subverted; in the skit, "Tar Toast", Darren plays a screenwriter at a fancy party who eats something called "tar toast" from a server (played by Trevor), assuming that it's something like ants on a log. The guy gets sick because he ate what turned out to be literally toast covered in street tar. And it turns out that the server is really an eccentric movie executive who dresses like a server carrying a plate of inedible food for reasons he refuses to explain.
  • If You're So Evil, Eat This Kitten!: Juror has this when a juror tries to get out of jury duty by claiming to be racist, leading to 'if you're so racist, call me the n-word.'
  • IKEA Weaponry: A sniper has a company supervisor pinned down. Said supervisor assembles a sniper rifle from a briefcase, uses an intern as bait, and kills the opposing sniper.
  • I Reject Your Reality: A sketch had a man and his family screaming at the viewers about how they live in garbage because his daughter forgot to bow to "His Holiness". Turns out to be some crazy guy who hangs around a bakery. The employees and the police are familiar with him, but that time he had a little kid with him.
  • It Belongs in a Museum: One opening skit has an auctioneer giving away Peter Framton's guitar, only for Indiana Jones to pop up and say:
    Dr. Jones: That guitar belongs to Peter Framton!
    Auctioneer: Peter Framton is dead, and so are all of his grandchildren!
    Dr. Jones: Then it belongs in a museum!
    Auctioneer: Dr. Jones, sit down!
    Dr. Jones pouts then sits down
  • Kneel, Push, Trip: In one sketch, this prank is parodied by one coworker getting down on his hands and knees behind his boss while the boss is talking to another coworker, and silently mouthing to the coworker to push the boss. The coworker just doesn't get it, though. This goes on for several minutes.
  • Naughty Birdwatching: From the "Peeping Toms" sketch. Which ends up going pear-shaped when the perverts scare the woman they're peeping on, causing her to choke on her martini garnish, leading to her husband to shoot himself upon finding her body, then their son finds the gun and gets shot by two cops, one of which has a heart attack and the other shoots himself afterwards in shock of what had just happened.
  • Noodle Implements: The boys read off a Long List of items that viewers should donate to make funnier sketches, each getting progressively more disturbing.
    "...a horny elephant...a hot zebra...zebra beer...elephant condoms...a huge bed..."
  • One-Hour Work Week/The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: The group of office executives in the "Businessman" sketch hold a meeting in an attempt to decipher what exactly it is that they do at work. After several attempts at pitching genuine stapler-selling interests, they find that they've contracted out so many jobs to other businesses that they don't actually do anything other than get paid to browse the Internet or play hooky. They eventually decide that the office will just become the place they go to hang out during the day.
  • Only Sane Man: One of the executives from The Grapist is the only one who notices the obvious problems of having an advertising mascot whose name rhymes with "rapist" and threatens children by saying he will "grape [them] in the mouth". In spite of his protests, the presenter and the other ad execs don't listen to him.
  • Playing Pictionary: One sketch is about a kid named Kevin, who shows his parents a picture he drew that looks like a penis and then explains to them that it's an elephant.
  • Punny Name:
    • "Dr. Peppers", "Dr. Pibbs", and "General Mills" from the Alien Autopsy sketch, and Capt. Maximilian Crunch from Manatee Finger Bang.
    • Their SNL parody opening is full of these... in fact, the ones that are NOT fake blend in so well with the rest...
  • Rapid-Fire Comedy: The "Movie Idea Guy" skit. In a meta sense, it's a WKUK favorite to open up with at live performances because it gets the audience really energetic and primes them for the next sketch.
  • Ripple Effect Indicator: The photograph in Me and My Buddy.
  • Sadist Teacher: One sketch had a teacher making her students guess which one of their mothers had just died in a car crash. It follows with asking how long it took for her to die, how long it took to get her body out of the car, and that the kid, Joey, will most likely die in the streets. The teacher then chides Joey for not participating, and when asked to act out his mom's last moments, tells him "the demons in hell are probably laughing at your mom for what a piss poor actor her son is." Turns out it was another kid whose mom died. The teacher just really hates Joey.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: The reporter in "Kid Beer", after announcing there's now beer for babies tosses her microphone behind her and walks off camera in disgust.
  • Seen-It-All Suicide: A variation in "Kid Beer".
  • Sex Bot: SEX ROBOT, SEX ROBOT. is supposed to be one, but really does nothing other than annoy and terrify people with its dancing.
  • Shout-Out: "Smoking Banana Peels" features a hallucination involving a red-curtained room with a black-and-white floor and a backwards-speaking dwarf.
  • Stealth Pun: In "Alien Autopsy", the alien turns out to be a piñata. In other words, a Mexican alien.
  • Stupid Crooks: One skit is about a group of would-be bank robbers who repeatedly fail the same criminal plot over and over for many different reasons, ranging from not being able to read the bank's blueprints, bringing friends from out of town along to the robbery, and posting plans to rob the bank on a blog (along with a hyperlink to the bank's website wherever the word "bank" is used).
  • Surprisingly Realistic Outcome: A sketch had Trevor play a guy who wanted to have his face cut off (save for his eyes and jaw muscles) by a plastic surgeon so that he could become a mascot for a car dealership. The surgeon, against all common sense, agrees to the man's request, then a Smash Cut to a tombstone reveals that the guy had died during or after the procedure, most likely due to the complications of not having a fucking face.
  • Suspiciously Specific Denial: "It's Not Kittens, It's Chicken" features a restaurant by that name.
  • Take Off Your Clothes: The Stripper Court sketch.
  • Tin-Can Robot: SEX ROBOT, SEX ROBOT.
  • That Makes Me Feel Angry: "She shaved her vagina hair! That is so attractive to me!"
  • Totem Pole Trench: Taken to the ridiculous extreme, considering Trevor and Sam are both over six feet tall.
  • Typecasting: In-universe. The guys are flexible with playing various types of roles in sketches, but mostly stick to very specific roles in most of the skits:
    • Trevor: Usually plays an authority figure or a Cloud Cuckoo Lander and is notable for never saying any harsh swear words (with some exceptions).
    • Zach: The same as Trevor.
    • Sam: Plays loud, boorish assholes.
    • Darren: Plays a lot of crossdressing roles and looks the most like an actual woman to most viewers.
    • Timmy: Either plays a Fat Idiot, a Butt-Monkey, or both.
  • Unfortunate Implications: In-universe. During the Grapist sketch, one of the executives previewing the commercial practically states that the commercial is loaded with this.
  • Unusually Uninteresting Sight: One sketch has a father calmly explaining to his son about the cycle of life and death after his hamster dies... while the horrified son is watching the Grim Reaper devour the hamster's body with his bare hands.
  • Ursine Aliens: In episode 8 of season 2, Trevor plays the role of a White House press secretary giving a conference to address rumors about bear problems on a secret American moon base. While he reassures everyone that the bears currently giving the moon base problems are just Earth bears, he slips up and accidentally implies the existence of "Saturn bears"... and of three additional planets in our solar system!
  • Writer on Board: One episode had several sketches that dealt with overpopulation.

Alternative Title(s): Whitest Kids U Know