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  • Troy and Abed airing Someday
    • A meta example is Community making fun of NBC screwing with their air date.
  • Troy has some great one-liners.
    Did you know that Gogurt is just yogurt?
    And if we need an escape goat, I think we should just let this one go. (Said while sitting next to a goat. And covering its ears so it's not offended)
    I hope [Gary] transfers to HELL!
    Whoa, who taught you therapy, Michael Jackson's dad?
    That guy looks like Moby.
    Have you ever been to a puppy parade midway? It is pointless.
    I hope I develop multiple personalities. I get lonely in long showers.
    That guy's a mess. It's like God spilled a person.
    You should be like Calvin. His best friend was a tiger, they always went on dope adventures, and if anything got in his way he just peed on it.
    (in a Batman voice) That's one of my biggest fears. Like, if I woke up as a donut, I'd eat myself. I wouldn't even think about it.
    (to Shirley) Uh, I can swim, racist.
    (to Britta) You're the AT&T of people!
    Dammit Shirley, forget about your newborn child, and think about the people who need you!
    There was a time and a place for subtlety, and that time was before Scary Movie.
    You are the opposite of Batman.
    [Upon discovering his landlord's huge collection of women's shoes] Wait a minute; Rick doesn't have a wife... or women's feet.
    It smells like a Waffle House sink!
    (After seeing Britta in the season 2 premiere) "Toy Story... Britta!"
    (After finding out Jeff and Britta had sex on the table) "Oooooohhhh-some!"
  • Donald Glover's eyes.
    • Donald. Glover's. Eyes.
  • Unless it's a genuine Tear Jerker, virtually any moment in which Donald Glover cries.
    • Likewise, almost any time Alison Brie and Danny Pudi scream.
  • In a meta example (for a meta show), on the DVD commentaries, Donald Glover's own CMOF is being lured into the bathroom by a piece of cake in "English As A Second Language".
    • Dan Harmon cites the "Those aren't thumbs" joke from "Basic Rocket Science" as his own favorite joke of Season 2.
    • The "Psychology of Letting Go" commentary is also hysterical, though the best parts are Chevy Chase insisting that Shirley is played by a robot and all of the commentators marveling that, for some reason, John Oliver cannot write a 'G' properly.
    • Donald Glover and Gillian Jacobs hijack the "Applied Anthropology And Culinary Arts" commentary after the actual commentators joke that they're having sex outside the glass. The others are appalled that they "broke the seal" of the commentary booth.
  • The commentary for "Geography of Global Conflict" reveals that Garrett's "Crisis alert!" line is a CMOF for the actors and production staff.
  • From the outtakes of the tag where Troy keeps trying to leave a message for Abed:
    Ay, Abed, it's Troy, back the fuck up!
  • From a genuinely Heartwarming moment (on Twitter) where Jeff invites the study group to the steak dinner date for one he mentions in the first season, Jeff says he made the reservation for L Street. Britta can't remember where it is and says it "sounds douchey". Troy's response:
    • Really, the entire conversation, as the Dean & Chang manage to invite themselves along, and then they start changing Jeff's plans to go to Senior Kevin's instead.
  • The Tag to "Grifting 101" are the credits to a show called "Guy from Jeff's Gym" starring staff writer Ryan Ridley as a guy at Jeff's gym whom Jeff saved three years earlier when he lifted a barbell off his throat. Now he must do errands for him until he pays back his Life Debt. It's all explained in the style of a Title Sequence in the style of an 80s action show like The Equalizer.

     Season 1 
  • From the pilot, after Duncan agrees to get the answers for Jeff:
    Duncan: FINE! I'LL DO IT!
    Jeff: Thanks buddy. [Walks off]
    • From the same episode, this is hard to hear without subtitles, but Troy throws this one liner.
    Troy: I am the Barack Obama of this room!
  • "Introduction to Film": Pierce trying to get voice command to work on his cell phone, by repeatedly saying "Voice command." Britta eventually snaps: "Would you please use the buttons?!"
    • Britta's argument with Abed's father, Gobi, goes out of control.
      Britta: Raising him means letting him go after his dream!
      Gobi: Dreams are for sleeping!
      Britta: You don't know that!
      Gobi: It's clinically proven!
      Britta: SO IS POLIO!
      Gobi: YOU LOST ME!
  • Jeff trying to convince Troy to return to football.
    Jeff: It's in your blood!
    Troy: That's racist.
    Jeff: Your soul.
    Troy: That's racist.
    Jeff: Your eyes?
    Troy: That's gay.
    Jeff: That's homophobic.
    Troy: That's black.
    Jeff: That's racist!
    Troy: Damn...
  • Also...
    Jeff: The scoreboard lights up! There will be a scoreboard there. It's complete! Nice catch! The girls! The glory! The scouts! The career! It all starts when you join this team!
    Troy: Is that linebacker a pregnant woman?
    Jeff: Look, you can meet them later. But this decision has to be yours, T-bone, and this decision has to be yes.
    Troy: How did you know my nickname was "T-bone"?
    Jeff: Because you're a football player, and your name begins with T. Your name begins with T.
  • The audience's introduction to Jeff.
    Duncan: What is my lawyer doing here?
    Jeff: I'm a student.
    Duncan: Well, that cannot be an inspiring journey.
    Jeff: I am in a bit of a jam. The state bar has suspended my license. They found out my college degree was... less than legitimate.
    Duncan: Well, I thought you had a bachelor's from Columbia.
    Jeff: And now I need one from America.
  • Britta, in response to nobody wanting to be in the bathroom with her:
    Britta: (teary) I've had to pee alone my whole life!
  • Jeff trying to console Pierce in the first Halloween episode: "Well, when we go to dancing skeletons with our problems, we pretty much get what we pay for."
  • The pool judgement.
  • Pierce and Jeff's bizarre Spanish presentation montage set to Aimee Mann's "(It's Not Going To Start 'Til You) Wise Up" and Senor Chang's reaction:
    Señor Chang: (looks at Jeff) F. (looks at Pierce) F-.
    Pierce: Did you say "S?"
    • Buddy: He said F.
    • And during that montage, while everyone else is staring in blank-faced confusion or disgust, Abed is nodding sagely. He gets it.
    • "<Where is the library? My name is T-Bone, the disco spider.>"
  • Britta's pronunciation of the word "bagel".
  • "We were just helping Jeff get ready for the fiiiigghhhh... t. (quietly, to Jeff) I couldn't think of another word."
    Jeff: Idiot. He meant we were figh... ting. It is hard to think of another word.
  • O Christmas Troy, O Christmas Troy...
  • The group's argument in season 1 about the "Booty-nator".
    It's Terminator but with booty.
    But since its Terminator, won't he just kill it?
  • Prof. Whitman climbing a tree for no reason after seeing Jeff finally seize the day by kissing Britta.
  • The naked pool game between Jeff and Coach Bogner in "Physical Education".
    • Especially Annie's reaction to Jeff's nudity.
  • Troy lets loose a tiny little squeak of a sneeze
    Jeff: Hey, Troy sneezes like a girl!
    Troy: How 'bout I pound you like a boy! That didn't come out right.
  • In episode 4 "Social Psychology", Professor Duncan conducts a psychology experiment he dubs "The Duncan Principle". He instructs Annie to inform the test subjects that the experiment will start in "5 minutes", even though "It's never actually going to start." When Señor Chang hears Annie say this, he reacts immediately saying:
    Señor Chang: NO! No, no. NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! That's unacceptable, alright? You LIED to me! When you say something starts at 9, it starts at nueve!
    • He begins to walk out of the waiting room while moaning, only to come right back and shove an empty chair across the area shouting "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOO! MOMMY!!"
    Professor Dunclean: (in response to viewing Señor Chang's actions on the "secret videocamera" monitor) Houston, we have an idiot.
    • Oh, and then Troy's eventual meltdown:
    Troy: (between sobs) You promised BUTT STUFF!
    Troy: The Soul Train Awards were tonight!!
    • Bonus points for Troy dragging himself away on the floor at the end of his rant.
    • Professor Duncan when his "Duncan Principle" begins to fall apart as Abed is the only participant that has stayed in the room sane and collected - for the past 26 hours.
      Professor Duncan: (to a student exiting the room) Go! Fine! Go kill John Lennon again, you loser!
      Professor Duncan: (pointing to Annie after everyone else has left the classroom) YOU HAVE DESTROYED THE DUNCAN PRINCIPLE! (Leaves the room and shuts the door)
    • Hell, the mere fact that Duncan fell victim to his own principle.
  • "Investigative Journalism":
    • Buddy (played by Jack Black) tries to assure the group that adding him to the group won't change anything.
      Buddy: I know that you're scared that adding a new member might throw everything out of it's natural— [theme song plays] —rhythm.
    • Buddy makes a flirting remark towards Annie, and Jeff says "Annie's pretty young, we try not to sexualize her."
  • Jeff, striving desperately to keep a secret.
    Jeff: Can my role in our group be whose trademark is his well-defined boundaries, like Private Smurf, Discreet Bear, or... Confidentiality Spice.
  • The group is having an argument after Annie dates Britta's ex. They reveal various sexual fantasies and comments group members have made about each other. Jeff states that their group is more complicated than a family because there's nothing to stop the members from being attracted to each other. Cue several silent moments of them making the most hilarious facial expressions ever at each other (recorded on the Main Page's entry entry for Crack Pairing), complete with Ho Yay and Les Yay.
  • It came out of nowhere:
    Leonard: Hey guys, thanks for eating all the macaroni!
    Jeff: (to Britta) I did eat all the macaroni. It's messed up that he knows.
  • Everyone on campus getting drunk at the STD fair. Then the Dean realizes that the free condoms leak, because he printed 'Greendale!' on them ("Everybody's getting preggers, and it's all your fault!") Then Abed (secretly the best athlete on campus) has to run to the P.A system to make an announcement.
    Troy: Hurry, Abed! Before people sex one another!
    • Abed, later, over the P.A. system:
      Everybody! Don't use the condoms! If you're gonna have sex, for the love of God don't use condoms!
    • Troy leaves Annie at the infirmary for her "busted appendix" because he has a date, but the nurse stops to give him a pack of condoms. Troy thanks him and turns to Annie and says "I'll be thinking of you."
    • After Annie sees the 'anatomically correct' model of a penis she has to put a condom on, she asks 'is that considered large?'. Britta says "Yes.", while Shirley's saying "Nooo."
    • invoked And how about Annie's unimpressed description of a penis, which she's never actually seen before, despite not being a virgin: "It's a giant thumb in a turtleneck, whoop-de-doo!"
  • From "Basic Genealogy," Pierce playing Pictionary and has to draw a windmill, so he starts with the blades... by drawing a swastika. Senor Chang's rabbi brother comes in and gets offended. Chang and Pierce get into a fight and school security comes in to stop it.
    Campus Security: (in a weary tone) This will never stop until Pictionary bans the word "windmill."
  • Abed's hangover in "Communications Studies" - he can no longer pull out his store of pop culture references, and just says "Movie reference" when he'd normally have a joke.
  • In "Contemporary American Poultry," Troy decides to name his pet monkey with a Twitter poll. They named it Annie's Boobs. Naturally, Annie wasn't pleased.
  • "The Art of Discourse": "Why are Jeff and Britta making fun of those handicapped kids?"
  • From "Beginning Pottery", after Jeff fakes a finger injury:
    Rich: Jeff, check it out: if your finger’s still buggin’ ya, just get creative. (starts using his cheek to shape the clay)
    Teacher: I wanna kiss you on the mouth.
    Rich: (turns to look at him and freezes) ...I'm sorry?
  • Pretty much the entire ending scene of "The Science of Illusion", but particularly:
    Troy: It's not a meteor, it's a cookie wand! ...Which isn't even a reference that I get, because the Cookie Crisp mascot wasn't a wizard when I was a kid, it was a burglar!
    • In general, any time that Annie and Shirley compete over who gets to be the Cowboy Cop of their volunteer-security-guard partnership.
      Annie: Morning boys! I'm Annie Edison. But people call me 'Psycho' because I had a nervous breakdown in high school. My partner's a Christian housewife. [Shirley looks genuinely betrayed] Can we help you?
      Shirley: Actually, can we not help you? I tend to play by my own rules.
      Annie: She loves rules! I only have one — stay out of my way.
      Shirley: Stay out of mine more.
      • And before that, Dean Pelton's disappointment at Annie's trying to be tough by spitting.
        "Oh, Annie."
    • Annie's pursuit of Jeff, in which she ends up accidentally pepper-spraying herself in the face. She gets "sprayed" by running into the spray while firing it at Jeff.
      Annie: These are not tears! This is self-inflicted friendly fire, OK!
  • One of Jeff's Lawyer-ings of the group, regarding Annie during the events of "English As A Second Language":
    Jeff: (to no one in particular) Permission to treat the witness as hostile!
    Pierce: I'll allow it.
    • And using Abed as a stenographer:
      Jeff: Did you record yesterday's Spanish class?
      Annie: I don't think so?
      Jeff: Abed.
      Abed: You said you record all your classes. Pierce called it "a spoiler alert."
    • Jeff ordering everyone to close their eyes so Annie's "Disney face" won't work on them.
      Jeff: Abed, close!
      Abed: Oh, don't worry about me. I can only connect with people through... (sees Annie's "Disney face") movies...
      Jeff: She's the Ark of the Covenant!
      (Abed gasps in horror and covers his eyes)
  • Troy reacts angrily to Abed stating that them moving in together would cause their relationship to Jump the Shark: "Oh, and for your information? There was an episode of Happy Days where a dude LITERALLY jumped over a shark. And it was the BEST ONE."
  • Troy's reaction after learning of the nicknames given to the rest of the study group by Pierce:
    Troy: Am I "Black Boobs"?
  • Dean Pelton looking at a Dalmatian costume being used in furry porn: "This better not awaken anything in me."
  • Pierce's comeback rap to Vaughn, after Vaughn writes a song called "Pierce, You're A B."
    MC Dan Harmon: When he wakes up stupid wishing he was me / He has a big poop breakfast with a glass of pee
  • During "Comparative Religion", when Jeff says that he's an Agnostic.
    Abed: What religion are you, Jeff?
    Jeff: sighs I'm agnostic.
    Britta: BOO!
    someone throws a paper ball at Jeff from off-screen
    Pierce: Agnostic. Lazy man's athiest.

     Season 2 
  • "Anthropology 101": When the group isn't sure if Britta is returning for the new semester, Pierce breaks the silence:
    Pierce: ...Did you guys see Toy Story 3? (everyone enthusiastically gushes about it)
    • "Consider yourself Chang'd!" Also Chang's very first use of his name as a pun, "Do you think you have room in your pocket for a little spare Chang?"
    • The anthropology class's assignment is to figure out which tool in a box is the most valuable for humanity's survival. Jeff rejected all the items and said that respect for your fellow man is the most important tool, prompting Chang to heckle, "Gaaaayyyyy!!"
    • June Bauer (played by Betty White) attacking Jeff with the crossbow, followed by Pierce throwing urine in a nearly unconscious Jeff's face.
      Jeff: (while being choked by June's crossbow) I respect you!
      June: That's why you FAIL!!
      • Earlier, her using a poison dart on Star-Burns.
  • "Accounting For Lawyers": Annie chloroforming the janitor at Jeff's old law firm, Troy's freaking out over it and Abed's plan to get them out of the situation.
  • "The Psychology of Letting Go": Nurse Jackie's epic Take That! to Indiana Jones.
    "Yeah, but the temple is a temple of doom! And like the real Temple of Doom, it represents the inconvenient fact that all good things, be they people or movie franchises, eventually collapse into sagging, sloppy piles of hard-to-follow nonsense."
  • "Basic Rocket Science": The "E Pluribus Anus" flag for Greendale.
    Dean: I think you know the reason this group has been chosen for this job to atone for the obscene entry you submitted in the Greendale school-flag contest. That's right, I know that this isn't a symbol for the crossroads of ideas. I now know it's a butt. Yeah, keep snickering. Pack yourselves with peanuts and really be satisfied. But guess what? This won. This is now our school flag forever! Proud of yourselves?
    • When the KFC van/space simulator is hauled away, Abed returns to find the van gone, and after a confused pause, looks upwards to the heavens.
    • This below exchange between Chang and Abed when the Greendale staff is trying to hunt down the missing Study Group:
      Chang: (holding what looks like a partly-disassembled car battery) I found out how to reroute the power from the auxiliary battery!
      Abed: Reroute to what?
      Chang: (Beat, followed by him awkwardly shuffling away)
    • And as previously noted above under the "General" folder, the "Those aren't thumbs" gag when Greendale finally figures out where the missing Study Group is:
      Abed: (after marking a map of the Greendale-Coldwater area) Here! They're next to the truck stop with three thumbs!
      Dean: (looking away embarrassed) ...Those aren't thumbs...
    • Pierce's claustrophobia-induced Sanity Slippage while trapped inside the space simulator, with him essentially turning into Pinbacker from Sunshine.
    • Troy preparing to kill Annie after it's revealed that she sold out Greendale to City College.
    • Everything about Dean Spreck of City College, with his interactions with Dean Pelton overflowing with Foe Yay.
  • "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples", where Duncan's anthropology class is merely him showing viral videos:
    Professor Duncan: Oh, this is gonna be good! Abed sent me a new link, and that man knows his video virality!
    Britta: So you're just gonna drop all pretense of actually teaching us?
    Professor Duncan: ...Yeah.
  • The Cat Scare in "Epidemiology." "Is someone throwing it?!"
    • And the fact that Jeff insists they put the whole Zombie Apocalypse happening around them on hold:
      Jeff: Backburner, Troy, this cat has to be dealt with!
    • The Dean as Lady Gaga.
    • Chang's "You bit, huh? You BIT?!?!" Ken Jeong's wonderfully hammy delivery sells it.
    • ABBA playing all the way through the episode as the auditory equivalent of a Funny Background Event.
    • The reason why Jeff gets bit in the first place? He didn't want to take a safe exit through the window because it would mess up his clothes and opened the door instead. And as Jeff is seemingly Devoured by the Horde, he notices Zombie!Rich come in... while wearing the jacket he had to abandon earlier. Naturally, that is what sets Jeff off.
      Jeff: (while being dragged down to the floor by a horde of zombies) You're stretching my jacket! You're stretching my jacket!!!
    • All of Troy's dramatic rescue sequence, especially when he's being attacked and bitten by a huge horde of zombies, and falls to the ground screaming dramatically like everyone does in a zombie movie - and then remembers that the effects don't take hold for a few minutes and irritably asks the zombies to lay off.
      Troy: Oka-Okay! I've been bit, y'all! Congrats. You did what all zombies do!
    • Zombie Troy and Abed clumsily doing their handshake.
      • On that same note, Zombie Jeff clumsily mashing buttons on his phone as he tries to text, and Zombie Annie peacefully sitting at a table reading as everyone else acts like normal zombies.
      • And Troy's exasperated, "Jeff. Still cool as a zombie."
  • "Aerodynamics of Gender":
    Britta: Women of Greendale! This cafeteria has been declared a bitch-free zone! Wha-wha-wha?!
    Abed: Let's go to Garrett with a check on the weather!
    (camera pans over to Garrett standing beside Troy and Abed with a chalkboard that has a cheery-looking sun drawn on it)
    Garret: IT'S STILL SUNNY!
  • "Cooperative Calligraphy": The entire episode, starting from the fact that it's a huge & obsessive search through the study room for Annie's missing pen.
    • Annie's ridiculously over-the-top Skyward Scream when everyone initially decides to leave after she notices her pen being missing.
    • The mere fact that Britta has invoked the Freedom of Information Act in the past in order to get access to copies of Annie's notes.
    • Soon thereafter, there's this delightful exchange after Britta rants about the Thought Police from 1984 "forcing-worcing you to bend and spread!" if people are willing to excuse the violation of civil liberties.
      Jeff: "Bend and spread"? Are the Thought Police going to make love to us?
      Troy: Do they find thoughts in our butts?! I knew I should've read that book!
    • Britta getting angry at Annie for her promising to forgive Shirley if she put her pen in her bag after she was forced to empty her own backpack against her will:
      Britta: (to Annie) Oh, so if I took it, it's larceny, but if you find it under Mother Hen, it's a mere mistake!
      Shirley: Mother Hen?! I think we're about the same age!
      Britta: Sure! Unless time is linear!
      Shirley: I'll make your ass linear!
      Britta: That doesn't make any sense!
      Shirley: I'll make your ass sense!
    • As it turns out, Abed accidentally started keeping a chart of the girl's menstrual cycles.
      Shirley: Abed, this is so personal! And so accurate.
      Annie: (tearing up) Abed, this is really creepy. I don't understand why you would do this!
      Abed: I can explain! (everyone stares at him) ...Oh. I thought you would keep yelling over me. Okay, I can explain. You know I have trouble reading people and I say the wrong things sometimes, and I noticed it was happening more often with you three than it was with the others. And then I noticed fluctuating patterns, and I started graphing them. And by the time I realized what I was actually measuring, it had started to yield really positive results for everybody. So I kept doing it.
      Annie: Were you ever gonna tell us about this!? I— (tearing up) I feel so violated!
      (Abed offers her a tissue)
      Annie: Thanks. (dries her eyes)
      Abed: (holds out a piece of chocolate) More chocolate?
      Annie: (accepts the piece; then realizes what she is doing and throws the chocolate back at Abed in a panic) AGH! GET AWAY FROM ME!
      • Even more priceless is Pierce's reaction to the whol mess. He is downright impressed by Abed.
        Pierce: Abed just became my hero.
    • Abed really wanting to avert having a Bottle Episode.
      Jeff: Do you know what this is?!
      Abed: Yep.
      Jeff: Shut up.
      Jeff: That's it! Lock-down! Abed, lock those doors! We are finding this pen! (dials phone) Hi Gwynifer, I can't come. (beat) Well, tell your disappointment to suck it, I'M DOING A BOTTLE EPISODE! (drops phone)
      • Immediately after that, there's the way Abed just points at Jeff as if to say "He said it, I didn't."
    • Coming off of this is Abed explaining why he hates bottle episodes:
      Abed: (when asked if he stole the pen as to invoke a bottle episode) I wouldn't do that! I hate bottle episodes! It's just wall-to-wall facial expressions and emotional nuance. Might as well sit in the corner with a bucket on my head.
    • While all this is going on, everyone else at Greendale is outside at a Puppy Parade, with Troy and Abed being especially ticked they won't be able to watch it because of the search for the pen.
      Britta: (when Troy gets ready to leave) Where do you think you're going?!
      Troy: Uh, have you ever gone to a Puppy Parade halfway through, Britta? (briefly laughs before glaring at her) It is pointless.
      • As seen during The Tag, one of the floats has a kitten and a puppy together as a message for equality.
    • Abed's brief speech to whoever stole the pen:
      Abed: Okay, if I could just take this time to share a few words of sarcasm with whoever it is that took this pen. I want to say thank you for doing this to me. For awhile, I thought I'd have to suffer through a Puppy Parade, but I much prefer being entombed alive in a mausoleum of emotions I can neither understand nor reciprocate. So whoever you are, can I get you anything? Ice cream, best friend medal, anything? Okay, sarcasm over. You're last up Shirley. Dump your comedically huge bag and end this.
    • When Shirley refuses to hand over her bag and the others ask why did she think she could get away with it, she sheepishly admits that she thought they'd "find it on the Muslim."
    • As Jeff lampshades, the existence of pregnancy tests marketed to black women (as discovered in Shirley's bag): "You Know, Girl!"
    • Shirley's anger with Britta for her throwing accusations at her after they empty her bag:
      Shirley: I'm so glad you're enjoying this! I hope whoever stole that pen JOINS YOU IN HELL!
    • When Annie and Britta start arguing, Troy wants it to continue but doesn't know why.
    • When Jeff and Annie start taking their clothes off to make sure no one could hide the pen on their bodies, Pierce starts taking his shirt off as fast as possible.
    • Troy and Jeff cutting open Pierce's casts to see if the pen is in there:
      Jeff: Pierce, are you using Slim Jims to scratch your legs?
      Pierce: Have we not gotten to a place free of judgment yet?!
    • Rather than distrust one another, the study group decides to accept Troy's explanation that a ghost took it. When Troy makes a big story about the ghost's Freudian Excuse, the others get really invested.
    • The Dean's reaction when he sees the demolished library study room.
      Dean: What the hell did you people do in there?!
      Abed: Something you and your puppies could only dream about, you non-miraculous son of a bitch.
      Dean: Non-miraculous?!
    • Annie's Boobs stole the pen, and all of Annie's other pens. And you can even see them do it in the episode!
  • "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design": After Britta mocks Troy and Abed for wanting to make a blanket fort:
    Shirley: Britta, that wasn't nice.
    Britta: I'm sorry, Shirley, but who wants to hang out in a blanket fort with grown men in tiny underoos?
    (Dean Pelton enters)
    Dean: Hello!
    (Jeff nods, as if to say "Of course!")
    • The Dean's response to Jeff's "why were you looking at my transcript?": "Maybe it was a random spot-check. Maybe it was a specific spot-check. Maybe I'm making a scrapbook!"
    • The scene in when Jeff tells Annie to blow off a strange occurrence and Annie sarcastically decides to blow off standing, walking, and talking language as well. Jeff leaves her sprawled on the hallway floor making nonsensical "blah-blee-bloo" sounds.
    • The ridiculously convoluted Gambit Pileup at the end, and Dean Pelton's freakout: "WOULD THAT THIS HOODIE WERE A TIME HOODIE!"
  • "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas": Duncan trying to get Abed to talk to him about seeing everything in Claymation:
    Duncan: Abed, I've been a professor of psychology here at Greendale for many years, and I think I can see a solution to this which might also help you with your situation.
    • Abed shows up at therapy.
      Abed: You lied to lure me into a group therapy session?
      Pierce: Surprise!
      Jeff: Pierce! You promised not to do that!
      Pierce: Surprise.
    • The Christmas pterodactyl. To say anything else would spoil the jaw-dropping randomness of it.
    • The True Meaning of Christmas:
      Abed: It's the first season of Lost on DVD.
      Pierce: That's the meaning of Christmas?
      Abed: No, it's a metaphor. It represents a lack of payoff.
    • Pierce letting Duncan have it when Duncan intentionally makes Abed go catatonic:
      Pierce: Great, look what you did to the kid. What's your article going to be called, Worst Shrink Ever?
  • Duncan's reason for being sober in "Asian Population Studies"
    Duncan: I apologize for my lateness but I wasn't sure how to find Greendale sober. (the class gasps) Yes I have stopped drinking, mainly due to the fact that I could no longer get an erection. So, now that I'm on the wagon you can expect this class, and my penis, to be more focused and rewarding.
    • Britta apparently had a deal to get concert tickets from Neil in exchange for a quick boob flash.
    Britta: MEZZANINE?!
  • In "Advanced Dungeons and Dragons", Annie as Hector the Well-Endowed having Head-Tiltingly Kinky sex with Abed as an Elf Maiden, using Relax-o-Vision audio (Please remember this was the D&D roleplaying episode). Words cannot do the scene justice
    • Troy is taking notes. Notes that fill the back of his character sheet.
    • Also earlier in the game Britta getting worked up over the Fantastic Racism in D&D and the plight of "Kyle the Gnome waiter" played by Abed and genuinely griefstricken over his "death" later.
      Jeff: Britta, he was an imaginary waiter.
      Britta: I wouldn't expect you to understand!
    • At the beginning of the game, Pierce's character is in danger of dying of hypothermia. During Jeff's turn, Abed explains that Pierce only has thirteen turns to live. What does Jeff decide to do?
      Jeff: I wait fourteen turns.
    • Jeff is revealed to have accidentally coined the "Fat Neil" nickname, and he tries to explain himself by saying that there is a second student at Greendale named Neil who was also in the area at the time and he needed some way to refer to a specific Neil when giving directions to someone.
      Neil: So call him "Skinny Neil"!
      Jeff: Well, he's actually not that skinny.
      Neil: He's bald. He's black.
      Jeff: (condescending) Well, I don't see the world through that lens.
    • Pierce proves that Evil Is Hammy:
      Pierce: I cast "Shapeshift" on Ducane.
      Abed: What shape do you choose?
      Pierce: FAAAAT!
      Abed: How much?
      Pierce: Make him as fat as Fat Neil!
      (Neil starts crying)
      Pierce: Oh right. Cry. Moisten those chubby cheeks with tears of gravy! You weren't crying when you were stealing my friends!
  • In "Early 21st Century Romanticism", Magnitude's first appearance, which just comes out of nowhere.
    Leonard: Where are the white women at?
    Jeff: No. There are no white women here, Leonard. This is not a party!
    Chang: Don't tell that to Magnitude.
    Jeff: Who's Magnitude??
    Magnitude: Yo yo yo yo yo! Pop pop!
  • "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking": Troy meeting LeVar Burton.
    • In the tag, LeVar Burton eating Troy's dinner while he's still catatonic, then gently singing the Reading Rainbow theme. Troy screams and runs out, leaving LeVar to quip: "More fish for Kunta." This was actually a Throw It In!.
    • The Comic Roleplay where Britta roleplays as Jeff's Dad... so Jeff roleplays as Britta's Dad.
      Britta: But what if he's coming though? What are you going to say to him? Here, I'll be him! I'll be him! Hi. Hey, hi I'm Jeff's dad, hi.
      Jeff: Hi, Jeff's dad. I'm Britta's dad.
      Britta: What?! Why?
      Jeff: I don't know. Got drunk, didn't have a condom and her mom gets freaky when she hears Oingo Boingo!
      Britta: Oh god, I wish I could relate but much like my son I'm a closet homosexual.
      Jeff: Don't apologize for that. You're talking to the guy who banged Britta's mom. I have no standards.
      Britta: Well what do you say we take a tumble? I'll put on a wig.
      Jeff: That's it, you're under arrest.
      Britta: It's not illegal to be gay.
      Jeff: It is here in Iran.
      Britta: Not when we're in the "Green Zone"!
      Jeff: That's Iraq, stupid.
      Britta: Well, what do I know?! I'm Jeff Winger's dumb gay dad! (leaves angrily)
    • It might be based on a cruel act of revenge-driven torturous emotional manipulation, but Pierce's feeble attempt at roleplaying Jeff's dad in the same episode is also hilarious.
      "Jeff's Dad": It's me, here in this sedan! See, I'm waving!
    • Anything Pierce or Troy say or do in this episode.
  • In "Intro to Political Science":
    Dean: With eleven votes cast, eleven, come on, people, the landslide winner of the student election with seven votes is South Park!
    • The epic debate between Leonard and Magnitude.
      Magnitude: Pop pop!
      Leonard: Pbblt!
      Magnitude: Pop pop!
      Leonard: Pbblt!
      *** The people watching the epic debate like a tennis match.
    • A quick visual joke at the beginning of the episode:
      Jeff: Improving Greendale takes more than ideas, Annie. It takes time, gasoline, matches...
      Abed: Haha, nice. (He makes a notch on the table under the heading 'Classic Wingers'.)
      Annie: Well, newsflash, Jeff, some of us care more about just fixing our hair and sculpting our abs.
      Jeff: Wow. (He makes a notch on the table under the heading 'Ab Mentions'.)
      (a few lines of dialogue later, after Britta complains about democracy)
      Jeff: Everyone wants you to shut up.
      Britta: And yet I won't. Case in point.
      (Troy laughs knowingly, and makes a notch on the table under the heading 'Notches'.)
      • A write-up doesn't really do it justice, so...
  • "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy": Britta's "May... be... we... do" comment.
  • "Critical Film Studies": Troy brags that Abed will never see his gift coming... before we see that it's a remote control helicopter wrapped in tissue paper with the outline clearly visible.
    • And beautifully, when he receives it Abed clearly has no idea what it could be.
    • Pierce as The Gimp, which he doesn't even understand as he hasn't seen Pulp Fiction.
      Pierce: Am I the hero or the love interest?
      Shirley: Oh, Pulp Fiction. I saw it on an airplane once. It's a delightful 30-minute film about a man who likes hamburgers, breakfast, and the Bible.
    • After Troy gives in to Chang's taunts and opens Jeff's gift to Abed:
      Britta: What are you guys doing?!
      Troy: Chang made me open it! He seduced me with his dark Chinese powers!
      Chang: (looking betrayed) Why do you leave him alone with me?!
    • The credits scene in "Critical Film Studies", where Abed and Troy are dining at the expensive restaurant. When they get the check, Troy's eyes get comically large and he starts crying.
      Troy: They said market prices. WHAT KIND OF MARKET ARE YOU SHOPPING AT?!
  • "Competitive Wine Tasting": "It's hard to be Jewish, it's hard to be Jewish, it's hard to be Jewish in Russia, yo!"
  • In "Paradigms of Human Memory":
    • After Annie invokes a montage of the "long looks, stolen glances, general atmosphere of 'will they, might they'" between her and Jeff, set to romantic music by Sara Bareilles (a parody of a real fanvid), he objects that "You could do the same thing with — Pierce and Abed!" After a pause with Abed looking thoughtful, we get an identical montage for Pierce and Abed, complete with the same music.
    Abed: Come on, Jeff. There's clearly more between you and Annie than there is between me and Pierce.
    Pierce: (outraged, to Abed) HOW DARE YOU!?
    • Jeff's composite Rousing Speech.
    • The montage of Dean Pelton coming into the study group room wearing different outfits and making announcements.
      Dean: Dean-a-ling-a-ling!
      Dean: Dean-yow! It's Feline AIDS Awareness Day, folks, so let's whip it in the keister.
      (flashback 2...)
      Dean: Guys, Greendale's music department is flat "baroque," so we are having a fund-raiser.
      (flashback 3...)
      Dean: What's dean got to do with it? Why, it's time to Tina "Turner" the clocks ahead. Happy daylight savings!
      (flashback 4...)
      Dean: Deanie, vidi, vici! I came, I saw, I conquered the idea of a free Caesar-salad bar in the cafeteria.
      (flashback 5...)
      Dean: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a dean. That's right, Greendale presents "Gone with the Windows," where we'll celebrate our new energy-conscious windows with a cotillion. (purposefully drops handkerchief; nobody picks it up) Okay. (picks it up himself)
  • In "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts":
    Shirley: Oh, father, God almighty, this isn't happening. It's too soon! I don't want my baby's first memory to be Star-Burns!
    (cut to Star-Burns giving a "What'd I do?" look)
    • The Dean trying to get Shirley to calm down.
      Dean: Shirley, look at me. Look at my face. Connect with me.
      (Dean starts making monkey noises)
      Shirley: What in the hell!?
      Dean: I don't know what to do!
    • Abed and Troy sell Pierce the rights to use their handshake, only to immediately regret it because it's been tarnished. Pierce is relentless in forcing them to do the handshake just for saying "Betty Grable."
      (Pierce turns to Troy expectantly after doing the handshake with Abed)
      Troy: (quietly) No...
      Pierce: Yes!
      Troy: (as dignified as possible, but clearly breaking) No...!
      Pierce: Do it! (Troy flinches) Make your money, whore.
      • And afterwards:
        Troy: (sobbing) WHO'S BETTY GRABLE?!
        Pierce: (completely unable to contain his glee) Yeah, that's the stuff!
  • When Abed proposes joining forces against the City College paintball stormtroopers:
    Britta: But if we surrender our individuality to form a faceless regime, how are we any better than them?
    (The entire room groans and boos at her)
    Vicki: You're the worst!
    Britta: OK, she is just saying that to fit in!
    • Jeff's thinly veiled insecurity about the Black Rider being better looking than him. "Dude, you have a problem."
    • The Black Rider flatly denying having heard of Jeff.
      Jeff: He's lying!
    • Magnitude's "death" scene:
      Magnitude: Pop... ("dies")
      Troy: Pop what?! Pop what?! What is he trying to say?! POP WHAT, MAGNITUDE?!!
    • "Denny's is for winners!"
  • "Celebrity Pharmacology" has Pierce completely derailing Annie's anti-drug play aimed at middle schoolers.
    • Even before Pierce's antics start up, the play is clearly Stylistic Suck at best. Everyone is dressed up in costumes for no apparent reason (Jeff and Britta in abysmal "cool cat" suits, Abed and Troy as bees, and Shirley as a crayon). Everyone also turns out to be utterly terrible at acting, with the arguable exception of Pierce..
      (Pierce jumps out from behind Jeff's coffin holding two sparklers and wearing a clown wig)
      Britta: Look, it's DRUGS! With a crazy wig and sparklers!
      Pierce: POOOOOOKEEEEMOOON! (The kids cheer as Pierce makes silly noises)
      Shirley: I don't think that's right, Drugs.
      Pierce: Nobody asked you, Crayon.
    • After Pierce is literally dragged off-stage, the kids start pelting everyone with baseballs when they try to summarize the Aesop and demanding Pierce come back in stage. And then...
      Pierce: (throws a smoke bomb in the ground) I'm BAAAACK! (Cackles) Ain't no party without DRUGS! (Walks into the audience as the kids applaud him and cheer him on)
      Little Girl: (hugs him) I love you, drugs!
    • To rectify it, they send Chang onto the stage in Pierce's drug costume.

     Season 3 
  • The Reveal of first Cougarton Abbey and then Inspector Spacetime in "Biology 101."
  • From "Geography of Global Conflict":
    • Annie throwing a toddler-like tantrum, complete with banging her fists on the table and screeching "I WANNA WIN!"
    • Annie rants while annoyingly moving her straw around in her cup lid. Troy reaches over, removes the lid, and gives the cup back, without Annie noticing at all.
    • Troy using a Southern Accent while representing Georgia for the Model U.N. As in, the country of Georgia. And he knows it, but uses a Southern Accent anyway.
    • Annie Kim's bafflement at Jeff and Annie's relationship.
    Annie Kim: Is he your father or your lover?
    Jeff: Annie, stop. You're acting like a little school girl and not in a hot way!
  • The study group being mean to Todd because he's such a Nice Guy in "Competitive Ecology."
    • And Todd's What the Hell, Hero? rant at the end.
      Todd: OFFENSE TAKEN!... offense taken.

      Todd: I thought you were supposed to be family! You were supposed to love each other! Your love is weird!!!!!!
      • And later on:
        Professor Kane: What did you do to my man Todd? You know he's an Iraq War veteran!
    • This, from the subplot involving Chang and the Dean:
      Sgt. Nunez: Okay, you know what? I quit. I mean, I can deal with the not getting paid, but I draw the line at you enabling this man [Chang]. I mean, I'm seriously concerned that he's mentally ill. And, and it's not funny at all. It's scary. (Chang and Dean Pelton both stare into space and think different thoughts; Nunez just stares at them) ...Okay, screw this. I, I quit.
    • The tag sees the study group filling out questionnaires for Britta's psych class:
      Britta (picking up one of the tests): All right. Somebody drew a penis. (picks up another one) Oh. And another penis. (flips through the rest) Penis... penis... penis. Very mature, guys.
      Jeff: I didn't draw a penis.
      Shirley: Me neither.
      Abed (flipping through the tests): These are all normally filled out tests.
      Britta: ...ha ha, gotcha! This was also a test and you all penised... passed. (looks down in shame) Maybe I need to take one... A test, not a penis.
  • Courtesy of "Remedial Chaos Theory," there's:
    • Pierce terrorizing Troy with the Norwegian Troll figure in Timeline 4.
      Pierce: Feel the terror, Troy! Feel the terror of the Norwegian Troll!!!
    • Timeline 5, where Troy is the one who gets the pizza. While he's gone, a series of horrible freak accidents occur, and when he gets back the apartment's on fire, Pierce has been shot in the leg, and a terrifying troll doll is staring at him from the center of the chaos. Troy's reaction is priceless.
    • The Stinger following up on the events of Timeline 5. Abed's decided they should become evil doppelgangers of the study group in Timeline 7, and as such need the appropriate attire ASAP. So he's made them all felt goatees to wear. Also, Britta's put a blue streak in her hair to represent the "darker" study group, and considers this on par with Jeff losing an arm.
  • All of the stories the study group tells in "Horror Fiction In Seven Spooky Steps" are hilarious in their own ways. All of them.
    • Britta getting dramatic when she reveals the results of the personality tests to Jeff:
      Britta: One of the tests came back with seventy out of seventy-five red-flags for an extreme personality disorder. Extreme, Jeff!
      Jeff: [Mock-terrified] Like a Dorito?!
      Britta: A sociopathic Dorito! A cool-ranch lunatic! Only instead of zest, Jeff, one member of our study group has — homicidal tendencies!
      [Cut to a shot of the other members of the study group dancing happily]
    • The shot of Abed and Britta standing back to back holding knives in the middle of their cabin while ominous music plays in the background. It's probably what it would look like if Wes Anderson directed a horror film.
      Britta: (background music halts) I love you.
      Abed: Shush.
      (ominous background music resumes)
    • The cabin in Annie's story has both lamps and candles.
      Vampire Jeff: Wait! Teach me to read!
    • Abed's face after Annie finishes her Halloween story. He's never looked so openly terrified as he does there.
    • Pierce's story, which is him (as a pimp in a mansion) stopping Troy and Abed (Burglars from the "hood") while the women are portrayed as prostitutes. It has to be seen to be believed.
      • The ENTIRE GROUP'S reaction to this story: Pierce is grinning, Annie and Shirley are shocked, Troy is confused, Abed is annoyed, and Britta and Jeff are shocked as well.
      Jeff: What. In the hell. Was that?
    • Everything involving Devil Dean in Shirley's story.
      Devil Dean: (as he bursts through the door with a chainsaw while cackling maniacally) GAY MARRIAGE!!!
    • Pierce threatening everyone with a fire extinguisher when the study group arm themselves after they realize one of them is likely a homicidal lunatic.
      Pierce: You don't wanna be barium sulfated!
    • The Improvised Weapons everyone (aside from Britta, who has a Sinister Switchblade) arms themselves with near the end of the episode. The vast majority of them are pretty sensible (Shirley has a broken bottle, Pierce has the aforementioned fire extinguisher, Annie has a pair of scissors, and Abed has a folding chair)... while Troy arms himself by using pens as Wolverine Claws.
    • Annie's threat to the other members of the study group during their Mexican Standoff:
    • "Troy and Abed sewn together!"
  • "Advanced Gay":
    • The speech given to Troy (and a few others) after they've been kidnapped to see if they are good enough to be air conditioning students. What really sells it is John Goodman's deadpan delivery:
    • The "room temperature" room.
      Troy: (amazed) I can't tell where the air ends and my skin begins!
    • Then, later in the episode, when Troy snaps back at the Janitor:
      Troy: I'm going to eat spaceman paninis with Black Hitler and there's nothing you can do about it!
    • Troy and Abed pretending to be each other so Troy has a loophole to tell a secret. "I like football, but also I don't."
    • The priest at Pierce's dad's funeral telling Britta, "You're the worst."
  • From "Studies in Modern Movement": "HE TWEETED IT!!!!!"
    • Britta just made a joke.
    Annie: Britta, don't make jokes! You're bad at it!
    • Pierce's surreal paint fumes-induced hallucination where he's a pianist accompanied by stereotypical Hawaiian hula dancers.
      Pierce: Ah, good evening, Senator! Any requests?
    • The fight between the Dean and Jeff in the green screen room while stock footage and a cover of Christopher Cross's "Sailing" plays was surreal and priceless.
    • "...I liked Horsebot 3000."
  • Jeff's scarily accurate impression of the Dean in "Documentary Filmmaking Redux".
    Jeff: Jeffery, this is my sister's outfit!
    • The Dean on the phone with Luis Guzman saying "I loved you in... in..." stalling while Annie checks her iPhone for a movie Guzman was in. She hands her phone to the Dean who looks at it and finally says "...IMDB!'' The Dean looks back at Annie: "That was tragic."
    • The montage of Britta and Troy being forced to hug over and over again for twelve hours, until they start having full on breakdowns while still trying to do the shot. At one point their arms are on puppet strings. Furthermore, after they take a break, they reflexively turn to each other before screaming, jumping back, and breaking down crying.
      Troy: (sobbing) Stop saying I'm different!
    • For whatever reason, Garret has to put on a Motion Capture suit in order to play a microscope. Well, at first, before the Dean rewrites his role as "a frog getting out of a toilet."
    • Annie's little meltdown, in which she rants about how the Dean is a genius and not just an idiot who's made her waste two weeks of her life — Alison Brie excels at bringing the wild-eyed crazy.
    • Luis Guzmán briefly mentioning how he loved going to Greendale: "Look, I loved my time here! I got laid like crazy, and this was before Boogie Nights."
    • Pierce spends the entire episode acting like a prima donna. Eventually he gets stuck in a trailer that brings him all the way to Hollywood, where we see Jeff Garlin acting the same way he did.
  • Almost anything said and done by Batman!Abed in "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism":
    "The night beckons. Its black fingers curl and uncurl, going, like, 'hey, come here'… there can be no peace while crime spits and dances on the reef of justice to the infectious beats of all that is wrong."
    • "Say, you look familiar. Did I ever pretend to shoot a guy in front of you to teach you a lesson about gun safety?"
      • And what makes it better is that Officer Cackowski says this as if this is something he does all the time.
    • Batman!Abed's confrontation with Rick the Landlord. Despite the fact that Bat!Abed is less-than-effective at even getting into the apartment, Rick seems to be under the impression that he's actually being interrogated by Batman himself.
    • Annie's Christian Bale impression.
    "This scene was a special challenge to all involved".
  • "Regional Holiday Music." ALL OF IT. It's basically Glee crossed with Invasion of the Body Snatchers. And it is glorious!
  • "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts": During Shirley and Pierce's slide show presentation to the Dean about opening a sandwich shop in the cafeteria a drawing of the Dean in the style of the Monopoly guy carrying a money bag in each hand appears.
    Dean Pelton: That's me! Where did I get all the money I'm holding?
    • Annie's desperate excitement about helping Shirley plan her wedding: "Oh hey guys! Did someone say 'Annie', 'help', 'wedding' and something about maybe hydrangeas?"
      • And before that, Shirley laughing at Britta for two whole minutes for suggesting that she prepare her wedding.
  • The Dean collapsing and convulsing in the hallway upon seeing how hot Jeff looks wearing aviator glasses in "Contemporary Impressionists."
    "Oh my god, even his shadow! Look at his shadow!!!"
    • Chang's pouting.
    • The study group then get roped into being celebrity impersonators at a bar mitzvah to pay Abed's debt. Jeff is tall Ryan Seacrest, Troy and Britta are young and old Michael Jackson, Shirley is Oprah, Pierce is "Fat Marlon Brando" and Abed is Jamie Lee Curtis in True Lies.
    • This amazing exchange between Troy and Britta as Jeff's ego grows dangerous vast:
      Troy: If you have anything else to say, say it in a high-pitched voice while walking backwards.
      Britta: Jeff is in grave danger, hee-hee!
    • Jeff becoming The Incredible Hulk of vanity when he gets too many compliments at the bar mitzvah.
  • "Digital Exploration of Interior Design":
    • Pierce's disgust over the Greendale students attending the Subway restaurant:
      Pierce: Look at these idiots! Cattle! Sheep! Other animals that travel in herds! (thoughtfully) ...I want to say "snakes"?
    • The mere fact that Britta's high school newspaper column was originally called "Britta Unfiltered".
    • The ideas that Pierce comes up with to help Britta take down Subway:
      Pierce: Corporate espionage, I like it! Microphones hidden in lipstick, lipstick hidden in microphones, and the deadliest weapon of them all - Penis flytrap!
    • This exchange between Britta and the "corpo-humanoid" Subway when they secretly meet in the library. One could be forgiven for thinking that Subway was practically genetically engineered just for Britta after his line below:
      Subway: I have to live within the rules, this identity is my life! If I do this for three more years, I can live a real dream!
      Britta: Well, at least tell me what that is!
      Subway: I want to run a non-profit shelter for handicapped animals. (...) I have to go, this is getting out of bounds for me. (gets up to leave)
      Britta: (whispering) ...Eat fresh.
    • The Subway executive listens to the tape of Britta and Subway's apparently "way out of the mainstream" sexual explorations ("I mean, I grew up in the Bay Area, but I'm a father now!"), with the result being that Subway is stripped of his job and dragged away by goons in black suits.
      Britta: (to Subway) Subway, I love you!
      Agent: (to Subway) Shut up. (slams door)
    • When comes time to leave, however, the executive seems curiously reluctant to leave his seat:
      Subway Executive: If someone could hand me my jacket?
      Pierce: (helpfully) It's right over there on the coat-rack next to the door.
      Subway Executive: ...If somebody could just hand it to me, that would be great.
      (awkward pause)
      Dean Pelton: I guess I'm confused; why don't you just grab it on your way out the door —
      Subway Executive: You know what? Now I'm not leaving! Now I'm just going to sit for a while and focus on how unacceptable today was!
    • This exchange between a student (a.k.a. Kim McFadden) and Annie:
      Student: Sorry, have to run. There's a rally for Garrett!
      Annie: But we saved him!
      Student: ...Did we?
  • The intro of "Pillows and Blankets," an episode covering a war between Troy's blanket fort and Abed's pillow fort In the Style of... Ken Burns: Civil War, complete with a narration by Keith David!
    • The trailer is incredibly epic.
    • The opening fight, a.k.a. the "Study Room Kerfuffle":
      Dean: (who is hiding on the ground as everyone fights above him) Jeffery! Jeffery, find me!!!
      (Camera pans to Jeff sitting idly to the side and texting, showing no concern whatsoever for the Dean)
    • The "all-tomato" discussion during the initial "peace talks."
      Troy: (to Abed) It's not a request. I'm giving you an all-tomato. You either give me the whole tomato... or else.
    • Just the mere fact that the Dean is reduced to being the Only Sane Man along with Jeff during Troy and Abed's pillow fight.
    • Shirley's text back to her husband explaining why she can't return home yet as she gets involved in the pillow fight.
      "I'll be home late, Sugar Boots. Abed hurt Troy's feelings by being a robot. Need to stay with my boy to make sure Britta doesn't put him on the weed. Please record Forensic Files. :)"
    • Troy naming his side "the Legit Republic of Blanketsburg", prompting Abed to rename his fort to "the United Forts of Pillowtown" for narrative symmetry.
    • The Freeze-Frame Bonus showing that Leonard's a veteran of The Korean War... as in, he fought for the North Korean Army.
    • The Running Gag of Britta taking impressively bad photos while she's trying to record the pillow fight's "sublime dignities." Even the Narrator eventually isn't able to hide his contempt for them:
    • Pierce being sent to a medic after the Battle of Big Bulletin Board, being diagnosed with "broken glasses, a hurt finger, and erectile dysfunction." He then claims that "...had never happened to him ever before."
    • The hilarious scene where a female narrator somberly recites a poem about the pillow fight over shots of people passed out in the hallways:
      "Pillows, but no sleep
      Feathers, but no birds
      Pajamas without children
      Violence without purpose
      I saw Mommy kissing Exxon-Mobil."
      — Amanda Johnson: poet by choice, lesbian by birth.
    • The amazing introduction of "the Changlorious Basterds."
      Narrator: No, I don't get it either.
    • Pierce prepares a "Doomsday Device" in response to the Changlorious Basterds, a pillow suit covering his entire body that Abed hopes he never has to use. When Pierce is unleashed in his suit for the first time, he actually turns the battle around.
    • "Pictured here lying down, Troy does not take Abed's email lying down."
    • Abed rallying his forces with a Facebook post. His lieutenant Leonard responds, complete with voice-over:
    • The entire Namesake Gag leading into the "Battle of Greendale." Seriously, it might be one of the best sequences in the entire history of the show with its usage of both Rapid-Fire Comedy and Hurricane of Puns. And, of course, it's made all the funnier in that Dan Harmon had his own face used as a stand-in for the English Memorial painting.
      Narrator: The North Cafeteria, named after Admiral William North, is located in the western portion of East Hall, gateway to the western half of North Hall, which is named not after William North, but for its position above the South Wall. It is the most contested and confusingly named battlefield on Greendale's campus - Next to the English Memorial Spanish Centre, named after "English Memorial," a Portuguese sailor that discovered Greendale while looking for a fountain that cured syphilis.
    • Eventually, Britta is able to capture a good shot of Troy and Abed reaffirming their friendship near the end of the episode... albeit accidentally, as she took the picture while actually trying to catch the sunlight off a stack of nearby waffles.
    • The other films that Greendale has produced aside from the "Pillows and Blankets" documentary: "Dean Pelton: A Year in Paris", "Labs to Riches: The Annie's Boobs' Story", and "That's Enter-Chang-Ment!".
  • From "Origins of Vampire Mythology":
    • Abed's reaction on having the Dean suddenly show up at his door wearing pyjamas and carrying a six-pack and a packet of potato chips: "I need help reacting to something."
    • Britta's infuriated rambling when Troy, Abed, and Annie lock her in Annie's room to stop her from calling Blade:
    • Pierce and Chang's "breakup" montage.
  • "Basic Lupine Urology" is just filled with funny moments. The entire episode is paced exactly like a Law & Order episode, complete with characters playing the roles of cops, lawyers, judges, etc. with dead seriousness, including powerhouse guest stars Michael K. Williams, Idris Elba, and Michael Ironside.
    Jeff: To be fair, she got me here on a very misleading text message.
    Annie: Jeff, technically, you are about to get screwed in the Biology room because our final project was just ruined!
    • The subverted Fake-Out Make-Out when Star-Burns is fleeing from Troy and Abed. "The explanation isn't the issue!"
    • Shirley's immediate shift into Da Chief.
    • Britta is the 'technician' who enhances a photo, only she completely fails at it, and is never seen again for the rest of the episode.
    "I can also help! As a psych major I could pr- —DUN DUN
  • While "Course Listing Unavailable" is primarily a Wham Episode, it still has its funny moments:
    • Jeff's comment that at the end of the sentence he's speaking, 100 people will have died in China. Troy looks up in absolute horror and screams "WHY [Beat] DID YOU STOP TALKING?" and proceeds to call his penpal & ask if they're okay, before ending the call a second later because the call is costing 7 dollars.
    • Garrett's hilariously Hollywood Tone-Deaf rendition of "Ave Maria" at Star-Burns' memorial.
    • The Epic Fail that is the Dean trying to get the memorial service back on track and not turn into a riot.
    • Shirley and Annie initially suffering from Cuteness Proximity when the Changlorious Basterds show up in tiny riot gear to shut down the riot that the study group instigated.
  • Pretty much the entirety of "Curriculum Unavailable."
    Abed: (incoherent whimpering)
    Troy: (stroking Abed's head) It's okay, buddy, just a few more minutes and we're good 'til spring, okay?
    Abed: (distressed) But it doesn't make any sense!
    Annie: Well, think of it this way: We get the hour back later in the year!
    Troy: Yeah!
    Abed: (beat, eyes widen) AAAAAAAAAAAA
    • Abed narrating Pierce eating a tuna sandwich, with Pierce quickly hating it.
      Abed: Time enough at last to eat a sandwich. Though even he knew that this sandwich was nearer his last sandwich than his first.
      Pierce: Ay-bed, I'm trying to eat.
      Abed: He said, oldly. His brittle bones straining to support the weight of his wrinkly skin.
      Pierce: (annoyed) Stop. Narrating me.
      Abed: He shouted, to no one. Just a man, alone in time with nothing but the cold squishiness of tuna salad to comfort him.
      Pierce: (getting up and leaving) I take it back, I don't want to be in your novel.
      Abed: Pierce Hawthorne had nearly lost his grip on reality. Lately he'd begun to think that he was in a novel!
    • A brief flashback of Britta coming into the study room, pale, disheveled and covered in twigs and leaves with messy hair.
      Britta: (casually) Hey, how long does peyote last? (beat) Asking for a friend.
    • The sequence of bizarre goings-on at Greendale: There's classes on advanced breath holding, frying stuff (and you can get kicked out for asking "fries"), Baby Talk, and even ladders. However, Pierce getting rewarded for performing the 10,000th flush at Greendale is easily the standout moment in the whole montage.
    • The brief flashback to a City College vs Greendale human chess game:
      Britta: Dean! This is not the way to agree on parking for the job fair. It’s inhumane!
      Dean Pelton: You have a better idea?
      Britta: Yes, thousands of them!
      Dean Pelton: Vicki to Queen Three.
      Vicki: Neigh!
    • The Dean literally chasing out some poor woman going to Greendale because she and Annie were wearing the same outfit.
    • The entire sequence in which it is revealed that Greendale Community College is actually an asylum, in a nod to Shutter Island. The study group - actually patients in the asylum - are seen acting out the trampoline episode and the paintball episodes. At the end of the sequence, a doctor, played by Dean Pelton, turns to another doctor, played by Garrett (who is obviously dubbed over with Dan Harmon's voice), and asks if their lithium dosages should be increased. Doctor!Garrett instead decides to cause the show's Bottle Episode by confiscating one of their pens.
      • This in turn is revealed to be a pretty obvious lie, as Annie has a Greendale backpack, Shirley sees her kids every day, and Abed has over a thousand photos of the college on his phone.
    • When Dr. Heidi asks if they ever even learned Spanish, Pierce responds (in the most confident tone possible) "My hunger is fireman suspenders."
    • The Tag featuring "Troy and Abed in the Morning: Nights!".
  • Abed mastering Cornelius Hawthorne's video game "Journey to the Center of Hawkthorne" in "Digital Estate Planning'.
    Abed: If you max out her character's trust and affection levels, you can gain access to a front-end scripting language. See, she can make babies for me.
    Troy: (jealous) Oh, and I can't?! (despontent) ...I can't.
  • Troy becoming the Only Sane Man to the Air-Conditioning Repair School in "Introduction to Finality." No, really.
    AC Student: Let's take him to the Infinite Labrynith of Eternal Ice!
    Troy: No! No! Take him to the police. He murdered someone, take him to jail. You guys are weird.
    • Also, the very nonchalant way in which he says, "Yeah, I told the Air-Conditioning Repair School that they had to start acting like a normal school. I can do that, cuz I'm their Messiah."
    • From the same episode the announcer from the Sun Chamber. His delivery is perfect.
      "You already know the rules... because there AREN'T ANY!!!!"
      • And he's promptly removed by a much more low-key announcer who asks if he's on cocaine.
        "Jeez, Dennis, are you on coke?! Take that crap off and sit down. Of course there are rules."
    • Evil Abed being a dick in the prime timeline.
      • Britta tries psychoanalysing Evil Abed. He quickly manages to turn it a Hannibal Lecture, and the way he starts this:
        Evil Abed: Here's the truth: (leaning into a Kubrick Stare) I've crossed into your dark timeline and now I'm going to darken it.
        Britta: (starting to get scared) ...How?
        Evil Abed: Tell me about your parents, Britta.
        Britta: (seriously unsettled) Um... No...?
      • Evil Abed tries to get Jeff's attention after discovering his bone-saw cord is too short; he sort of waves in an awkward "Hey, Jeff! Come and look at my cool bone-saw!" fashion.
      • And afterwards, his reunion with Troy.
        Abed: I went crazy and tried to cut off Jeff's arm. (Jeff raises his eyebrows in alarm)
        Troy: (largely unfazed) I missed you, buddy.
    • The Running Gag of Jeff not understanding what mitosis is.
  • Picture time with the Study Group.
    Shirley: And here's Ben dressed like a dragon.
    Annie & Britta: Awwwwww.
    Troy: Here's me & Abed dressed like Eddie Murphy & Nick Nolte.
    The girls & Pierce: Awwwwww.
    Annie: Who's Nick Nolte?

     Season 4 

Season 4 is generally considered to be the worst season, evening being retconned as "the gas leak year", but that doesn't mean it's devoid of laughs.

  • "History 101": Concerning the Dean:
    Jeff: This can't be good. He's dressed as himself.

    Jeff: Please tell me you're breaking into that condo.
    • The little ads for fake shows on Abed TV, like American Sword Cooks and Blind/Blonde.
    • As the Dean's telling Jeff how bad his day was:
      The Dean: Somebody moved my stapler.
    • In the Dean's office:
      Shirley: Jeffrey, is that blood on your shirt?!
      Jeff: Oh no, it's cool. It's Leonard's.
    • Britta is choking Troy.
      Troy: Why does this feel good?
    • Baby Jeff:
      Baby Jeff: Guys, I have something to say.
      All: Yeah! Like always!
    • "Greendale Babies". All of it.
  • "Paranormal Parentage": Everything Troy says:
    Troy: I broke the remote! (beat) Do you think it's expensive?
    • Then there is his reaction to finding Pierce's "secret" room:
      Troy: He's the one hiding the indoor swing and I'm a child?
      Troy: What's with all the collars? ...Secret dogs!
  • "Conventions of Space and Time": Annie ordering a glass of scotch "for her husband," then sampling it in front of Randy the bellhop. Alison Brie's completely insincere "Mmm!" is what sells it.
    • Troy's breakdown when Toby "forgets" his name.
    • Jeff's Skewed Priorities:
      Well, I just went upstairs and saw your room. Saw the two robes, two coffee cups (one with lipstick, one without)... I saw actual hair that looked a lot like mine on my side of the sink, so I have some questions. First one: is that actually my hair, and if so, did it fall out naturally? Because if it did, you need to tell me right now because I have to call science.
    • After Jeff and Annie patch things upnote :
      Jeff: Buy you a drink? What do you want?
      Annie: An appletini.
      Jeff: Oh, god—don't make me order that! Please?
      Annie: (with Puppy-Dog Eyes) Please?
      (Jeff stomps off to the bar, Annie smiles smugly)
  • "Alternative History Of The German Invasion": Abed shushing Annie after she pointed out that a 4-pronged trident should be called a quadrudent.
    • Jeff: Quick impression: "Wah." Who am I? You guys.
    • Dean Pelton telling the Germans that they're being punished for expressing their culture:
      Pelton: You were the only German students celebrating German culture, and here at Greendale, that is a big, fat no-no. We frown on anyone celebrating their own cultural heritage. I mean, if the Hasidic student union wants to host a Kwanzaa celebration, you go, Jews! Hanukkah? No, sir. It's why I keep a detailed list of every student's race and nationality: to prevent racism and nationalism.
  • "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations":
    • Britta's :D face when the Dean reveals that Jeff is meeting his dad for Thanksgiving.
    • Abed's contribution to Shirley's Thanksgiving dinner: seven-layer dip that he's been "saving for a special occasion." For two years.
      Shirley: Oh, that's so thoughtful! I'm gonna put this on a nice platter with some crackers in the trashwhere's Britta?
    • Thanksgiving with Shirley's family goes further downhill:
      Annie: This is the Jonestown of dinners.
      Troy: I feel like I'm in jail. And you know what happens to guys like me in jail! They get really into push-ups, and I am fine with my upper body the way it is!
    • Troy, Abed, and Annie decide to help Shirley "escape" from Andre's family.
      Abed: I drew a map of your house on my stomach!
      Shirley: (visibly confused) I know what my house looks like...
  • "Economics of Marine Biology", Archie taking Magnitude's catchphrase:
    Magnitude: Pop pop!
    Archie: I want that to be my thing now.
    Annie: I don't think you can do that.
    Dean: Magnitude, you're not to say "pop pop" ever again.
    Magnitude: Not "pop"?
    Dean: That's right. Find a new thing. (to Annie, quietly) Get him outta here.
    (moments later...)
    Archie: (in slow motion) Pop... POPPPPP!!!
  • In "Herstory of Dance", Dean walks in dressed as a 50s housewive, complete with greyscale tv skin ("Honey, I'm Dean!"), and Jeff asks, "What the hell is wrong with you?"
    • Pierce tries to force Britta to get off of a computer because "his e-mail is on it" and he doesn't quite understand how mail works.
      Pierce: You're talking to the wisest man on campus. Now, seriously, I need to get onto my e-mail. The post office is about to close.
    • Also, Troy and Abed notice Chang advertising for Britta's dance.
      Abed: That guy's like teflon. No matter how much awful stuff he does, he keeps getting another chance.
      Troy: Yeah, he's like the Colin Farrell of people.
    • Chang as the dance DJ:
      Chang: Tonight's Sadie Hawkins dance is brought to you by Hawthorne Wipes: For the little lady who knows her place in the kitchen. And tonight's Sophie B. Hawkins dance is brought to you by Hawthorne Wipes: Perfect for cleaning the dashboard of your '92 Subaru.
    • Later:
      Chang: So, I got a request for, "You suck at this. Get off the stage." Okay, I don't know if that's the band or the song. Again, apologies. Changnesia.
  • "Intro to Knots": The Running Gag of Chang being treated like a dog.
    Chang: I have Changnesia; I'm not a dog.
    Shirley: Mm, Kevin, did you wrap these presents yourself?
    Chang: Once again, I'm not a dog.
  • "Basic Human Anatomy": The Dean "switching bodies" with Jeff, and Annie's increasing attraction to him.
    • And Annie's complete & utter confusion over why it's even happening.
  • "Heroic Origins": The flashback to 2008 when Troy was still in high school:
    Troy: (to his friends) Then I drink your milkshake! (friends laugh) Ah, that will never get old. You guys gotta see my Juno.
  • "Advanced Introduction to Finality": Jeff's increasing distress whenever Abed mentions the time he (as his evil self from the darkest timeline) tried to cut off his arm.
    Abed: I tried sawing off Jeff's arm.
    Jeff: Why do you keep saying that?
    • The dark timeline "Troy and Abed in the Morning" with Troy's electronic voice. They pop over to Timeline 3 (the one where Troy and Britta bonded in the bathroom), where Troy and Britta are married with a son, and Troy convinced Britta that Chewbacca is a "traditional African name."
      Troy: It means "he who hunts bounties."

     Season 5 
  • The meta Take That! of the characters discussing how weird their behaviour and lives were for the past year (when the show was temporarily run by someone else), particularly their attempts to blame it all on "that gas leak".
    Jeff: Look, we can't blame it all on a gas leak year.
  • "Repilot":
    • Troy angrily calls Zach Braff a son of a bitch for only appearing in 6 episodes of Season 9 of Scrubs. ("After everything that Scrubs did for him?!"), which is a Take That! against his own actor, who will only be appearing in 5 episodes of this season.
  • "Introduction to Teaching":
    • A new class called "Nicolas Cage: Good or Bad?" appears. Abed subsequently goes crazy trying to find the answer. And it is glorious (even Prof. Garrity thought so).
    "I'm a cat! I'm a sexy cat!"
    • Jeff tells Annie, Troy, and Britta that minuses in grades don't mean anything. They tell the rest of the school. A riot ensues.
  • The Dean's sad inner French song while a Single Tear rolls down his cheek.
    "My thoughts... are French."
  • "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics":
  • In "Cooperative Polygraphy", the increasingly aggressive and frustrated verbal abuse heaped upon the lie detector monitor who seems just a tad too enthusiastic to point out when members of the study group are lying.
    Monitor: They're all lying.
    • "Troy and Abed are in mooourning!"
    • Chang's turn to take the test:
      Mr. Stone: Mr. Chang, state your name.
      Chang: Benjamin Franklin Chang, ready to deal out the truth! Nothing to hide, let's do this!
      Mr. Stone: Have you ever masturbated in the study room?
      (Chang immediately removes his polygraph monitor, gets up from his chair, and leaves the room without saying a word)
      • Later Chang comes back:
        Chang: I didn't just masturbate in the study room. I masturbated everywhere! EVERRRYWHERRRE!
    • Abed's first questions:
      Mr. Stone: Have you ever... 9/11'd anyone?
      Abed: Nope.
      Mr. Stone: When you were a child, did you ever kill a squirrel with a slingshot and was surprised that you felt nothing and wondered if you were capable of doing it to a human?
      (uncomfortably long pause as Abed mulls over the question)
      Abed: No.
      (the scientists quickly nod to confirm that he is telling the truth and the Study Group breathes a collective sigh of relief)
    • The Tag with the study group uncomfortably sitting with Mr. Stone in a booth in a bar as he drops his facade as The Stoic and enthusiastically tells him what he was thinking during the episode.
    • The study group being bequeathed with Pierce's sperm. The first time, there's a sort-of logical justification behind it (Pierce, who is convinced that Britta is a lesbian, donates it to her in case she wants to have children), the next few times still kind of make some warped form of sense (the other women in the group and Jeff, who Pierce is convinced is gay), but by the time Abed and Troy come around, they're clearly just getting some so as not to be left out ("Here's your obligatory sperm.").
      • Mr. Stone reads the part of the will meant for Jeff:
        Mr. Stone: Jeff Winger, did you know you're gay?
        Jeff: No.
        Mr. Stone: Agree to disagree. To you, I leave this bottle of fine scotch so that you're less tempted to drink this cylinder of even finer sperm.
      • And at the end, we find out how Pierce actually died: Dehydration from filling all those containers with sperm.
    • Britta surprised that Jeff kept her panties.
      Britta: You told me a hawk stole them! You exploited me, and made me believe in a slightly more magical world.
      • From the same scene, the reveal that Shirley saves money on her vegan sandwiches by using a "Midwestern tofu substitute" called "Meat-fu."
        Shirley: It's still not actually meat! ... Legally.
    • Abed being surprisingly dark and cynical in his maniplutations:
      Abed: You mess with my brain, it's a big deal. (taps his forehead) This is a big deal! I don't mess with your brain, Annie!
      Troy: ...You kinda do.
      Abed: I don't think I do.
      Troy: What about her Facebook boyfriend?
      Annie: Huh?
      Abed: That's different.
      Troy: You made a profile for a fake dude and lured her into an online-relationship! (turns to Annie) He's catfishing you!
      Annie: You're olympic pole-vaulting hopeful Brett Underjaw!?!
      Abed: I noticed that when you're in a relationship, you hummed a lot and made pancakes in the morning. It wasn't about hurting you. I did what I did in the name of breakfast.
      Annie: I bore my soul to you! I told you about my holding hands at Disneyland fantasy! (Jeff sends Annie a disgusted look) DO YOU CARE ABOUT PEOPLE AT ALL, ABED?! Answer on the polygraph!
      Abed: (looks distressed for a brief moment) ...Jeff made me apply for handicap parking so he could get a better spot.
    • At the 2020 Table Read, Pedro Pascal was subbing in for Walton Goggins as Mr. Stone, and he rather predictably started Corpsing every time he encountered the line about "Hyper Virile Sperm" in the script. It also turned out that Gillian Jacobs kept her cylinder of sperm (cue jokes in the comments about her lesbian lifestyle wearing out).
  • "Geothermal Escapism":
    • Britta's assessment of everyone's investment in the campus-wide game of "The Floor Is Lava":
      Britta: Did you all hit your heads on each other's heads?!
    • Jeff nonchalantly noting that Greendale is on 9-1-1's blocked call list.
    • Chang's confession as Hickey pushes him and the other "Locker Boys" into the lava:
      Chang: My same-sex celebrity crush is Nathan Fillion! Nathan Filliooonnn!
    • Britta and Jeff getting distracted by the specific details of their puns during their duel in the cafeteria.
    • When Britta climbs onto Troy and Abed's giant hamster ball:
      Troy: I had a dream like this, but it was sexual!
      Britta: I will force you two to grieve properly even if it kills us all!!!
  • The Dean's rap in the Cold Open of "VCR Repair and Educational Publishing". He's dressed as a Payday candy bar and starts rapping an apology to Jeff and Hickey for delaying their paychecks. It gets real when the Dean is essentially possessed by the Rap God.
    Well, I’m a peanut bar, and I’m here to say
    Your checks will arrive on another day!
    (starts rapping faster)
    Another day, another dime, another rhyme, another dollar,
    Another stuffed shirt with another white collar,
    Criminals, Wall Street, taking the pie,
    (starts getting more angry)
    And all the black man gets is a plate of white lies,
    Prisons recruiting, the police be shooting,
    Them rap artists looting, them labels all deluding,
    (now loudly shouting)
    (The Dean suddenly gets a hold of himself, drops his microphone in horror)
    Dean: I don't know what that was! I don't... I don't know what that was!
    (the Dean runs out of the room in tears)
    • It was apparently this for the actors as well; Gillian Jacobs can be clearly seen on the verge of Corpsing as the credits start.
  • Destro's funeral in "G.I Jeff".
    Cobra Commander: The first time I met Destro, he asked me if he should have his entire head coated in chrome. I said "No. How would you do that? How would that even work?" [Cobra Commander's wrist communicator beeps; he switches it off] Look, I'm not good at eulogies. Because... I've never had to give one! All I want to know is: how did G.I Joe do this?! We've been shooting at each other and missing for twenty years! And now all of a sudden — [His wrist communicator goes off again] Unbelievable. [He activates it] What?!
    Vice Cobra Assistant Commander: Cobra Commander, it's Vice Cobra Assistant Commander! We just got a very interesting energy surge at the Greendale site.
    Cobra Commander: Oh, okay, that's super fascinating, um DESTRO'S DEAD!!!
    Vice Cobra Assistant Commander: Oh my gosh, Destro?! Were you guys close?
    Cobra Commander: Were we close?! Yes! What kind of a question is — okay, fine! I LOVED HIM! Is that what you want to hear?!
    Zartan: Called it.
    • Heck, the entire G.I. Joe episode was one. Especially the end as Jeff passes through the toy commercial, flies out of the kid's hand, and turns around to knock him out before returning back to consciousness.
  • In "Basic Sandwich," Abed tells Annie that the only way they won't be back next year is if an asteroid wipes out all life on Earth. He then gives an Aside Glance and says, "And that's canon." Annie stares confusedly at the camera as if wondering who the heck Abed was talking to.
  • "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking": When Annie goes to the network administrator to get the porn unblocked so that the custodians will put up the bulletin board:
    Annie: But, Debra, let's be clear. I want everything to get through that porn blocker.
    Debra: What do you mean "everything"?
    • "IT'S A BEAR DANCE!!"
  • "App Development and Condiments": The Tag starring Koogler. Specifically this part where he exasperates the Dean with his relaxed attitude towards academia:
    Dean Pelton: Do you even have a career plan?
    Koogler: Yeah, uh, does getting laid count?
    Dean Pelton: No!
  • "Advanced Advanced Dungeons and Dragons":
    • This moment:
      Jeff: You know, fathers and sons, there is a lot of power between them.
      Dean Pelton: (stands up) Yes.
      Jeff: Stop it.
      (Pelton sits down)
    • The fact that some of the character names are funny, especially Tiny Nuggins and Crouton.
    • When Professor Hickey's recklessness forces the team to come to his aid, resulting in Shirley's character's death:
      Shirley: I'm dead, but it's okay. I'm on your side, which is why I'm dead. And I may be gone, but just remember whenever the wind whispers through the woods: you got me killed.
    • Hickey's interrogation of a pair of hobgoblins.
    • The Tag, when Abed plays D&D with Annie's stuffed animals:
      Annie: Abed, are you almost done? I can't sleep without my stuffies.
      Abed: Fine. Hold on. Oh, a goblin notices you and murders you all. You're dead. They're all yours.
  • The Tag to the season finale: "DEPENDS ON WHAT FAILS."

     Season 6 
  • Frankie's hilariously awkward attempt at an angry rant:
    "Buh... yuh... y-y-hh... shut up, Leonard! You are... you are...? Old! And you deserve less, because, of your age! I don't — I don't actually believe that, I'm just trying to, I'm trying to — and... everyone here is a, is a... Fart?! A, a LIVID FART, FROM THE BUTT, OF A, LESSER GOD!! I'm, I'm better than this."
  • The montage of Abed and Jeff apologizing to Frankie while she's interviewing for another job in "Ladders".
    • Before that we have the "Clean Up The School" montage, and the "Emailing Diane" montage. Frankie wonders why Abed's doing odd tasks like fixing clocks and sweeping floors, and then wonders why he's changing clothes.
  • Britta yelling "Stop infantilizing me!" to her parents, just before she steals a kid's big wheel and uses it to drive away.
  • Dean believing he's getting affectionate, loving texts from Jeff, when it's actually two Japanese teenagers in Tokyo playing a prank on him.
    • And one of those teenagers becomes "Oyabun, highest member of the Yakuza".
  • The "Gay Dean" song in "Queer Studies and Advanced Waxing" done to the melody of Dolly Parton song "Jolene".
    • In the end credits, Jess Allen's character is listed as "someone else".
  • "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights":
    • A couple of moments in the parking garage: Willy trying to push Jeff down the stairs, and getting caught on a piece of litter on his way out.
    • Abed taking control of all the telepresence devices, announces his intention to take over the world, and all the Abed's start chanting "Eradicate!" And a very confused janitor (who, in a meta-joke, is played by Abed Gheith, the person who was the inspiration for the character of Abed) joins them.
    • Abed's Jerry Seinfeld impression. "She's a 'coucher'! She sleeps, on a couch!"
    • Elroy helps Jeff with infiltrating Willy's appointment to professor event, by pretending to be an inmate. The white inmate before him in the queue is asked for his full name and prisoner number before he is let through, while the guard just takes a brief glimpse at the black Elroy after he greets him and just rather absent-mindedly lets him pass immediately without any further questions. Elroy, meanwhile, rolls his eyes in exasperation as he moves past him.
  • Basic Email Security:
    • Elroy's odd glee when Jeff admits that he's logged into his personal email account at work:
      Elroy: What makes you think it's only your Greendale email they'll be leaking?
      Jeff: Because they hacked Greendale.
      Elroy: Do you have a computer in your office?
      Jeff: Yes.
      Elroy: Do you check your emails on that computer?
      Jeff: Uh-huh.
      Elroy: You look at boobies on it?
      Jeff: One time.
      Elroy: They got it. They got everything. It's Vietnam now, baby. It's Vietnam!
    • Frankie calling Chang a "Wretched, invasive little gremlin," over of his attempt at shaming her.
    • Gupta Gupti Gupta's stand-up act. It's so hackish and offensive-for-the-sake-of-it that it comes around and becomes funny because of how bad it is.
  • "Advanced Safety Features":
    • Chang and PowerPoint: A Journey to Disappointment.
      When you asked if I knew PowerPoint, I said...
      [photo of Chang shrinks, then grows back]
      Yes. What did I really mean?
      [slide shows bar graph, titled "Yes by Year"]
      These are yeses and nos in a chart; they appear to be the same. However...
      [slide shows rooster, which lays an egg with a cluck sound effect]
      I think you'll find...
      [egg grows, rooster disappears, egg shrinks with a cha-ching!]
      [Chang takes an egg took to the back of a board]
      ...That within some eggs is the truth.
      [cracks egg on laptop, yolk comes out]
      (dejected) That should have been a dollar bill. But I'm no magician. I'm just a guy that knows PowerPoint.
    • Frankie gives a "The Reason You Suck" Speech to Dean Pelton, all while trying desperately hard not to after he buys a literal ton of Honda merchandise.
      Frankie: Are you—? I don't know how to...I have a rule about being constructive, so I can't ask any questions right now because all the questions I have right now are rhetorical and they end with the word "idiot." Do you know what a rhetorical—of course you don't know what that is because you're an idiot. (gasp) I'm sorry! I am so sorry! But you're so stupid! And you have no idea! And you're the only one who has no idea because guess why? (Dean opens his mouth) Don't answer that! You'll get it wrong. Oh, so dumb. You're just a dumb little man who tries to destroy this school every minute. I AM SORRY! I'm so sorry! (Dean breaks down into tears and hugs her) Oh! Oh, it's okay! I mean it's not okay, but stupid...Oh shhhh...Such a dummy...
    • Jeff convincing Frankie that the reason Troy is so fondly remembered by the group is that he played the steel drums.
      Jeff: That's not going to pay off immediately but when it does, it'll be worth it.
    • Britta not remembering what a drawbridge is called and Elroy not managing to guess.
      Britta:What's that thing that castles have?
      Elroy: Walls?
      Britta: (sigh) Come on.
      Elroy: A moat?
      Britta: It goes over the moat — (gestures) — goes over the moat...
      Elroy: Enemy knights... cavalry... uh — arrows?!
      Britta: No, come on, stop it! It goes like this. (moves her arm up and down)
      Elroy: ...Alligators?
      Britta: No, it's one thing! It's mechanical!
      Elroy: One mechanical alligator!!
      Britta: Are you screwing with me?
      Elroy: I don't even know what the hell you're talking about!!
      Britta: It's one mechanical thing, it goes over the mote, It GOES LIKE THIS!!
      Elroy: A catapult!!
      (Britta SCREAMS)
  • Abed's movie in "Intro To Recycled Cinema". All of it.
    • Leonard as the villain:
      "I feel the Force. What? I don't feel the Force, I'm not allowed to. What do I feel...? I feel Dracula... Force. I feel Dracula... Signals."
  • Space Elder Britta.
  • In Basic RV Repair and Palmistry, Abed delivers a beautiful speech to the Dean about holding on, letting go, and keeping a loose grip. The Dean installs his statue on campus and... text doesn't do it justice.
  • Vicki's one-woman show, Garret's stand-up comedy act where he mocks said one-woman show, and then both of them announcing the new show they're doing together — to loud booing from the audience (especially when Vicki's mother, whose death was an important theme in Vicki's show, turns out to be alive and in the audience).
    Vicki: We'd rather you boo! It means you felt something!
    Garret: That's right! You can boo! Uh, Andy Kaufman loved booing!
    Vicki: Mm-hmmm.
    (audience continues booing)
    Garret: ...then again, we did put a fair share of work into this?! Like, you don't have to be dicks!
  • Elroy encouraging white people in "Wedding Videography."
    Elroy: My name is Elroy Patashnik, and between 2006 and 2009, I was addicted to encouraging white people.
    • Eventually culminating in:
      Elroy: Now this is a man who knows how to marry his cousin!
  • The group's Garrett and random celebrity impressions. Especially Britta's Aubrey Plaza impression.
  • Frankie trying to be normal with Annie and Britta.
  • Jeff and Annie bonding over thinking the Marvel Universe movies are overrated.


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