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The Angry Video Game Nerd (James Rolfe)

The one, the only, the man who made Internet reviewing a genre singlehandedly—the Angry Video Game Nerd. A bespectacled man in a white button-down shirt with a pocket protector, the Nerd sits in his basement and vents his impotent rage over terrible video games of days gone by. He has a perennial rivalry with The Nostalgia Critic.

  • Adorkable: When he's not in a rage.
  • The Alcoholic: A regular drinker of Rolling Rock.
  • Angrish: Occasionally, when he runs out of curse words.
  • Anti-Hero: Of the Unscrupulous Hero variety. He has a very short temper, swears like a sailor, and is brutal towards enemies, but for all of his flaws, he is unmistakably a force of good. See Good Is Not Nice below for further details.
  • Anti-Role Model: A lonely, alcoholic, foul-mouthed young man with an uncontrollable temper who has nothing better to do with his life than to hole himself up in his basement and put himself through the torture of playing shitty games all day even though he knows full well he hates it. What's not to love?
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  • Anything but That!: For a long time, he swore off on reviewing E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial on Atari due to its notorious reputation of being one of the worst gaming titles for its time. He eventually gets to it in The Movie/Episode 120, and ultimately concludes that despite its flaws, it's not the worst game of all time.
  • Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: Claims to be an ADD sufferer in his M.C. Kids review. While he doesn't display any of the stereotypical symptoms, he does take issue with any games that require more attention than they should, such as the aforementioned M.C. Kids.
  • Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: Played with in the "ROB the Robot" episode. The episode opens with the Nerd going on a rant about all of his shitty games before simply stating "I don't like them!" In the end, after thwarting ROB's plan to turn all games into Gyromite and Stack-Up, he grabs an armful of his shitty games and hugs them.
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  • Badass Bookworm: A nerd who can take on Jason Voorhees himself in a fist fight and win.
  • Badass Normal: While most of his enemies have superhuman powers, the Nerd is, in the end, just a guy who owns some light guns that function like the real thing. He's also not bad in a fistfight.
  • Basement-Dweller: Comes with being a Hollywood Nerd and all.
  • Berserk Button: This is what he's known for!
    • Excessively long passwords, and using any other button besides A to jump are his two main ones.
    • Games without the pause features, such as Ghostbusters II on NES.
    • Seeing the LJN logo on a game cartridge has also caused him to snap. Which makes it even more funny when he finds out that Spider-Man: Maximum Carnage on the SNES, which he considers the only Spider-Man game that is good, was also made by LJN. The fact that LJN made a good game practically breaks his mind in the most dramatic way possible.
    • Goddamned Bats!invoked
    • The Medusa Heads in Castlevania have reportedly given him a pathological hatred of wavy lines.
    • Sequel titles that don't follow a logical numbering system.
    • Games with NO CONTINUES!?!? after you die. Turned Up to Eleven if the game combines this with One-Hit Kill or only having one life throughout the entire game.
    • Game cartridges with no end labels.
    • In Batman Part I, when he explains the utterly ridiculous controls of the SNES Batman Forever game, which was designed with the Mortal Kombat engine. He actually seems to have strained his voice by the end of the review.
    • AC adapters with built-in prongs (which tend to preclude the usage of the two adjacent sockets) also greatly annoy him, as seen in the Sega 32X and Dracula reviews. Related to this, ancient consoles which force the player to make use of an RF connector box for television hookups as opposed to just plugging a cable into a much simpler coaxial converter.
    • Loading times. His annoyance with them is most pronounced in the Superman (Commodore) and Zelda's Adventure reviews.
      • Also seen in the Batman Forever review, which ironically was a cartridge game.
    Nerd: ...Whenever you access a new part of the game, it says "Hold On". Hold on for what? It has to fucking load?!
    • Overly cryptic puzzles, such as in Milon's Secret Castle and Super Pitfall.
    • Any game that has annoying design element that just makes the game more irritating to play—Kid Kool is one example he particularly singled out, where he lists numerous design flaws (fittingly named "Seven Deadly Sins of Game Design") that blatantly hamper the experience, such as "One Way Bullshit" note  "Topside Aquatic Ass" note  and "Two-Gear Diarrhea" note .
      • Particularly when doing something (like using a grappling hook in the SNES Batman Forever or accessing an item needed to recover health in the NES Dick Tracy) is made needlessly complicated by bad game design.
    • A minor one by comparison; having the music continue when a game is paused.
    • If you don't think he can be overwhelmed by annoyance in how lacking in depth a game is, jump to 3:03 of this episode and note a problem at that point that got missed. If you're wondering, let's just say it's not exactly a challenge to get a high score in that particular game due to evidence that the game is INCREDIBLY incomplete.
    • Out of his usual complaints, games with bad controls seem to be the chief problem. Generally, he can forgive a game for having bad graphics, obnoxious music, or obtuse clues, but never if it's a chore to actually operate.
    • Games with inconsistent and/or unfair rules really throw him off the deep end. Beetlejuice for NES is notorious for this ("Diarrhetic Diversions"), where you can fall to your death if the floor below is not on screen (the "Bitch Barrier") and yet can be hurt by torches not on screen.
    • As seen with Dick Tracy and Total Recall, the idea of going to the video store as a kid and renting a game that turned out to suck, since it was the one game he could play that whole weekend, thus ruining his weekend.
    • He may not like a lot of the games he reviews (in fact, some of them, he hates!), but if you try to get rid of them and replace them with even crappier versions, it doesn't matter if you're even replacing Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, he will destroy you!
    Nerd: more Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde... I WON'T FUCKING HAVE IT!
    • Guns; specifically guns and kids. For his Wish List Christmas episode The Nerd was horrified by children's toys advertised alongside enough guns to resemble Charlton Heston's Xmas catalogue. Which makes sense, in an earlier video he reviews The Odyssey which included a gun: unpacking it and when showing it off he showed very good gun safety despite it being a toy.
  • Bi the Way: Critic's "Smurf 2" review confirmed that he and the Nerd have had sex at least once. Might be If It's You, It's Okay as while Critic Really Gets Around with men and women, Nerd's show doesn't really have that factor.
  • Blatant Lies: 2004 Nerd, baffled that 2016 Nerd is still torturing himself with shitty games twelve years later, questions whether or not he played Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde again. 2016 Nerd insists that he didn't, to 2004 Nerd's relief.
  • Borrowed Catchphrase: Whenever he reviews a movie-based game, he almost always quotes the film in question. "Yipee-ki-yay, motherfucker!" (throws Die Hard NES cartridge behind him, which explodes)
  • Butt-Monkey: When every popular fictional character, from Bugs Bunny and the Cowardly Lion to Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger, seems to love to mess with your life, you know you're the Butt-Monkey of the century.
  • Catchphrase:
  • Caustic Critic: He's the video game critic.
  • The Chew Toy: Playing all the bad games is torture to him. Sometimes, he is forced by other characters to play games he don't want to play.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: A huge signature of his. He even literally shouts out bombs with the letter F on them in one of his Phillips CD-i reviews.
  • Comical Overreacting: With lots of swearing.
  • Conspiracy Theorist: Has shades of this in a handful of episodes:
    • The Super Mario Bros. 3 episode reveals the game's ties to Satanism: inverted crosses, pentagrams, the seven Koopalings representing the Seven Deadly Sins, The Wizard and its climactic "Video Armageddon" tournament, demonic subliminal messages when the game is played in reverse...
    • In the Hong Kong '97 episode, the Nerd realizes the game, that came out in 1995, predicted the death of Deng Xiaoping in 1997. This leads to a string of logic that ultimately concludes with the game being the meaning of life. Since life is primarily about procreation and eating, and since eating leads to excretion, the Nerd ultimately concludes that the game is fucking shit.
    • In the Seaman episode, the Nerd realizes Seaman is part of a conspiracy by Sega (the Sentient Electronic Global Annihilator) to take over the world.
    • In the Berenstain Bears episode, he is absolutely convinced that the books are actually titled "Berenstein Bears" that, after an encounter with an alternate timeline version of himself, he discovers on the internet that false memories are an indication that one's living in the wrong reality.
  • Deadpan Snarker: When he isn't being an Obnoxious Snarker or having an Unstoppable Rage moment, he is this.
  • Disco Dan: Rarely does the Nerd ever reference modern games.
    • When he's presented with an Xbox 360, he seems to hardly know what it is.
    • A Flash Forward reveals that by the time he's 80, he'll finally be reviewing Nintendo Wii games. He dies of a heart attack playing Boogie.
    • In "AVGN Games", he uses a Commodore 64 to play games made for a modern Windows system, and uses an old rotary dial phone (which inexplicably has a screen for some reason) to play a smartphone game. However, at one point he does come clean and say, still in-universe, that he's not really playing on a Commodore/rotary phone, it's just edited to look that way for Rule of Funny. Although he pretty much had to come clean, since one of the games kept crashing on him and giving him error messages that are very obviously from Windows 8/8.1.
    • In The Movie, he again uses a Commodore 64 to play a modern game, this time an MMO, which has 2D 8-bit graphics for him but 3D modern graphics on Cooper's modern gaming PC. He also brings along a record player to play music in the car.
  • Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas: The Nerd doesn't get serious during the Super Mario Bros. 3 review until the possessed game cartridge tells him "Your mother sucks cocks in Hell!"
  • Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": It has been suggested numerous times that the character's real name is simply The Nerd or the The Angry Video Game/Nintendo Nerd. He usually introduce himself as such or as The fucking Nerd. Even when he sees his future tombstone, it is engraved with the name AVGN, and every time he receives a package, the boxes are directed to AVGN. The only exception to this is a scene in the Winter Games episode: while he complains about how he can't type more than four letters in the name entry screen, we can see he (unsuccessfully) tries to type the name James.
    • In the Spider-Man episode, Spider-Man calls him James.
    • In the movie, however, he directly says that his name is "Nerd."
  • Excrement Statement: One of his favorite means of displaying how much he hates a game is by taking a dump on either the cartridge or system.
  • Failed a Spot Check: Took half of the "Home Alone Games" episode that the pizza guy is actually Macaulay Culkin.
  • Friend to All Living Things: He is disgusted by the overly graphic animation of the dog getting run over by a car in the Genesis version of Action 52.
  • Future Loser: Looks like he's stuck playing shitty games for the rest of his life. He even gets shocked when he learns that he will die from a heart attack while reviewing Boogie for the Wii at an old age, and decides to swear off playing shitty games after that incident, popping in Super Mario World and proclaiming that he will only play good games from that point onwards. Needless to say, it doesn't last very long, and he simply says "fuck it" and decides that he prefers to bash shitty games anyway.
  • Geek Physique: Zigzagged. Earthbound shows that he's actually very lean and fit, with other characters from his subconscious complaining that his choice in clothes hides this.
  • Good Counterpart: The Anti-Hero to the Critic's broken wreck. You can even see it in how they deconstruct being a Caustic Critic; while Critic locks himself in a pit of self-loathing because he hates his job and what it does to his life, it's made explicit in the Nerd movie that Nerd is driven by love of his fans, not his hate of games.
  • Good Is Not Nice: He is notorious for his very short temper and legendarily colorful language, but the Nerd is unmistakably a force for good, and he can be quite friendly and passionate about a game he loves when he's not railing off on a bad game or dueling another foe—but he isn't afraid to call things as he sees it when it comes to crappy games, or even flaws in things he likes (i.e. the Zelda II review, a game he admires as a legitimate classic, but isn't above acknowledging it's flaws, such as it's schizophrenic, hair pulling difficulty), and he is more than willing to give his foes more than a taste of their own medicine.
  • Grammar Nazi: James does this to the credits for the NES Ghostbusters game. Though in fairness to James, those were really obvious errors and deserved to be corrected.
  • Gratuitous German: Slips into this during his Deadly Towers video (the one where everything was written by the fans), exclaiming "Das Spiel ist Scheiße! Dieses Spiel fickt dich härter als das Leben!". According to the comments on the video, it translates to "This game is shit! This game fucks you harder than life!"
  • Gratuitous Japanese: Slips into this when singing along part of the Zyuranger theme song.
    The Nerd: "Zyuranger! Zyuranger! Densetsu no senshi-tachi yo! Zyuranger!"
  • Hair-Trigger Temper: God help the game that has a flaw that pushes the Nerd way too far.
  • Hidden Depths: Many of the Nerd reviews have him trashing the games, swearing his head off, and probably destroy the disc or cartridge in the process, or beat up a character from the game. Every now and then James Rolfe will put the Nerd persona aside in a Nerd video and give an in depth and detailed look at topic like the Jaguar or the 16 bit wars, where the Caustic Critic only occasionally comes out.
  • Hollywood Nerd: He has a lame dress code, occasionally bad hair days, and mouth breathing tendencies, coupled with frequently-seen deranged caricature art. Aside from those, he is actually pretty good-looking.
  • Hot Blooded Sideburns: Has been sporting a hell of a pair recently, and well, he's certainly... enthusiastic.
  • Hypocritical Humor:
    • Owns a Simon's Quest Tiger handheld. From when he was 11.
    • Criticizing the physical state some games he receives from other people and stores:
    "I would never do this, I take good care of my games!"
    "What kind of masochist would you have to be to beat this game more than once? If you did it one time, what would you have to prove to do it again? You'd have to be some kind of fucking idiot!" (resumes playing)
    • Something similar happens during his review of Silver Surfer on NES.
    "You know, there's really no point in going on. It's not like there's some kind of reward, or some pot of gold sittin' on top of your TV. If you beat the game, it probably just says 'The End', and that's it! So to keep playing it, you've gotta be a fuckin' nerd!" (So what does he do? Keeps playing it.)
    • In his Atari Sports review, he complains about how football can make people "act like fucking maniacs" while undergoing one of his trademark rages.
    • In a cross with Self-Deprecation, complaining that Alien³ got a video game instead of the previous 2 only for promotion excuses. "How shameless is that, to do something to promote something else? *hides mouth with hand* Monster Madness" (he posted this on the same day as the MM review of Aliens).
    • From the Wally Bear and the NO! Gang review:
    "Let's say no to drugs." (immediately takes a swig of beer)
    • In the Lightspan Adventures episode, he calls the hosts of "Math on the Move" dweebs who wear geeky clothing.
    • He's legitimately surprised that someone would own two Aladdin Deck Enhancers. And that's coming from the guy who owns several Intellivoices and lots of copies of the worst video game in existence - E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial for the Atari 2600!
  • Iconic Outfit: Nerd Glasses, a white dress shirt with a pocket protector and pens, and khaki pants. In the "Making Of" video, James says that he was subject to backlash when he forgot the pocket protector for one episode.
  • I Need a Freaking Drink: Now and then.
  • Large Ham: Zigzagged. He can switch between being calm and composed or screaming frothing rants at the drop of a hat.
  • Loser Protagonist: A grown man who has nothing better to do all day than complain about 20-30 year older video games from his childhood. This was most emphasized in the first few reviews which were a lot more grounded.
  • Madness Mantra: In the Polybius episode, the Nerd repeatedly remarks "It won't let me go... It won't let me go... It won't let me go... It won't let me go!".
  • Mad Scientist: He did create the FrankenNerd and the Nerdy Turd.
  • Manchild: A central part of The Nerd's character; he is very immature, short tempered and foul mouthed, and has an obsessive passion for old video games and 80's pop culture (right down to still owning a huge collection of video games, board games, movies and vintage toys) and he literally lives in his basement, spending his days complaining about games he hates. Sometimes these traits are celebrated, but usually they're played for laughs.
  • Mood-Swinger: He can go from chill and collected to unhinged and immature in a matter of seconds depending on the game he's playing.
  • Mr. Fanservice: Due to the Hollywood Nerd-ness.
  • Nerd: Subverted, despite it being in his title. While he dresses like a stereotypical geek and has a pretty introverted pastime, he's a foul-mouthed, uneducated, violent binge-drinker - characteristics rarely found in the archetype.
  • Nerd Glasses: Along with his trademark white buttoned shirt, he always wears a pair of glasses.
  • Pet the Dog: His Swordquest review. Rather than lampoon the game series' rather apparent flaws, he instead praises it for the worldly symbolism it uses in its level design as well as the overarching Atari contest that the games were a part of, where gamers would compete using clues found in-game and in the enclosed tie-in comic books to win actual treasures made of gold and precious stones. Ultimately, he laments how the Video Game Crash of 1983 terminated the contest halfway through, crushing a lot of nerds' dreams, and at the end of the video, he rallies the viewer to help him solve the mystery of exactly where the three treasures that were never given away have ended up.
  • Proud to Be a Geek: He proudly refers to himself as "The Fucking Nerd".
  • Pyro Maniac: He deals with Amiga CD32 by setting it on fire with a huge glee.
  • Serious Business: He takes his duty of reviewing "shitty doody" very seriously.
  • Sir Swearsalot: Swears so much that he makes you almost never even notice his rival the Nostalgia Critic swearing when watching the two in comparison.
  • Sitcom Archnemesis: The Nostalgia Critic. "CRITIIIIIIC!!"
  • Sophisticated as Hell: There are times when the Nerd will use a far more eloquent vocabulary, even launching into full mini-essays or conspiracy theories... before ending it with classic Nerd swears.
  • Specs of Awesome: The man's triumphed over foes no ordinary nerd would stand a chance against.
  • Split Personality: He has one... Board James. Although the Nerd seems to be the original personality, and manages to do a Split-Personality Takeover by making Board James realize that he isn't real, and put on the glasses and white shirt willingly... only for Board James to assume control at the end of the 2015 Halloween special.
  • Strong as They Need to Be: The Nerd is able to beat Jason and Freddy Krueger in a fight, but has trouble beating The Nostalgia Critic (though he does tend to be on the winning end of the struggle more often than not). And his fights with Bugs Bunny can go anywhere from him completely dominating Bugs, to being a close match, or getting his own ass handed to him, sometimes all within the same video!
  • Superpower Lottery: When he wears his Nintendo accessories, like in his Super Mario Bros. 3 review, he's an unstoppable force.
  • Talks Like a Simile: And how! With many of the similes usually related to animal diarrhea.
  • They Killed Kenny Again:
    • In "Dragon's Lair", he is turned into a skeleton when he touches the door.
    • In "Dracula", he commits suicide by exposing himself to the sun since (he was a vampire in that episode).
    • In "Frankenstein", he gets killed by a TV explosion along with the Franken-Nerd.
    • In "Transformers", Optimus Prime shoots him with a laser.
    • In "Bugs Bunny Crazy Castle", him and Woody Woodpecker are blown up by a bomb.
    • In "Alien 3", the Cinemassacre chainsaw logo bursts out of his chest while falling into a lava furnace.
    • In "Seaman for Dreamcast", he dies after playing the titular game for nearly a thousand years.
    • In "Nintendo World Championships", he is possibly strangled to death by Pat the NES Punk.
    • In "Mega Man Games", he jumps out the window after playing Mega Man Soccer.
    • In "RoboCop Games", he (as a RoboNerd) runs out of fuel for his jetpack and falls to his doom.
  • Too Kinky to Torture: At the end of "Sonic 2006 Part 2", it's revealed that he's into BDSM.
  • Trademark Favorite Drink: Rolling Rock beer, though he'll get out something stronger if the game is shitty enough.
  • Uncertain Doom: In "Polybius". He finally breaks down and shows the gameplay footage, there's a couple of Jump Scares, and when the owner of the shop comes in the Nerd is gone.
  • Unkempt Beauty: When he has a bit of Perma-Stubble and slightly messy hair.
  • Unstoppable Rage: When a game pisses him off just right...
  • Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: He hates bats, although really it's just because they're so overused in games. He is genuinely terrified of E.T. Atari, though. At least, until he plays it at the end of The Movie and concludes that it's actually not the worst game of all time.
  • Your Answer to Everything: Ranting about shitty, nostalgic games.

The Bullshit Man (James Rolfe)
You know what's BUUUULLLSHIT?!

A frustrated gentleman who vents his annoyance at everyday inconveniences. Eventually revealed to be a man whose face is bullshit.

  • Berserk Button: Too much cream cheese!! ...yeah, he's got a lot of these.
  • Body Horror: His face is a mass of bovine feces.
  • Butt-Monkey: He's a constant victim of everyday bullshit.
  • The Cameo: When the Nerd struggles to open the packaging containing the Batman wrist game, the Bullshit Man appears after the Nerd says "You know... you know what's bullshit...?", hands him a pair of scissors, and proceeds to briefly rant about blister packaging.
  • Catchphrase: Commences his rants with "You know what's BUUUULLLLSHIT?!", and concludes his rants with some variation of "That's bullshit!".
  • Cosmic Plaything: Pretty much everything is out there to make the Bullshit Man's life bullshittier.
  • Crossover: Normally the star of his own series, You Know What's Bullshit?, but appeared in the AVGN's "Tiger Games" episode to rant about blister packaging.
  • The Faceless: Until The Reveal, where he shows that his face is bullshit.
  • No Indoor Voice: Especially when delivering his catchphrase.
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot: Perhaps even more than the Nerd himself!
  • Talking Poo: His entire head is literally this. And it looks as disgusting as it sounds.
  • Visual Pun: He is literally a bullshit man.
  • Yank the Dog's Chain: The Bullshit Man used to look like a normal human (as evidenced by some of the illustrations from earlier episodes), however, he has endured so much bullshit in his life to the point where his face was literally turned into bullshit.
    The Bullshit Man: I used to look normal before all this bullshit happened to me!
  • Your Answer to Everything: His life revolves entirely around ranting about everyday inconveniences.

The Guitar Guy (Kyle Justin)
(The one on the left.)

A guitar player who lives behind the Nerd's couch, and writes songs based on the Nerd's angry utterances. He occasionally joins the Nerd in playing co-op games.

  • Back from the Dead: Comes back to life thanks to the Nerd inputting the Ikari Warriors 1UP code.
  • Basement-Dweller: Well, kinda. He lives behind The Nerd's couch. The Bugs Bunny's Crazy Castle review implies it's actually his couch.
  • Butt-Monkey: The Nerd treats him very poorly and he's forced to live behind a couch.
  • A Day in the Limelight:
    • In the Battletoads review, he gets to play the game alongside the Nerd after complaining that he never gets any screentime.
    • And once again in the Ikari Warriors review, where he plays the game (after coming back to life thanks to the ABBA code) alongside the Nerd for a bit before going back to guitar strumming.
  • Dead Guy on Display: His hat-wearing guitar-holding skeleton was used as a background prop in several Halloween reviews.
  • Dropped a Bridge on Him: His skeleton behind the couch appeared in the Schwarzenegger Games review without explanation. At all. It's somewhat implied the Nerd forgot about him and Guitar Guy starved.
  • Friendly Fire: He and Nerd do this to each other in Battletoads, but not intentionally. The Nerd blasts the game for even including a compulsory friendly fire option at all.
  • Instrument of Murder: That guitar isn't just for songs... the Nerd tries to use it to kill Bugs Bunny.
  • The Lancer: Before Mike started making appearances in person, he was this to the Nerd in some aspects. Specifically, the Battletoads video and the TGWTG Year One Brawl.
  • Nice Hat: He's always seen with his brown hat just as much as his guitar.
  • No Name Given: He's just The Guitar Guy (although he's referred to by his real name in the Channel Awesome first anniversary special).
  • Perma-Stubble: He usually has a noticeable six o'clock shadow despite being pretty tan.
  • They Killed Kenny Again: Lampshaded by the Nerd during the AVGN Games episode.
    The Nerd: Is that guy dead again?
  • Warrior Poet: Occasionally proves himself capable in a fight.

Motherfucker Mike (Mike Matei)
It's a moniker he wears with pride, funnily enough.

  • Alliterative Name: Mike Matei and his nickname Motherfucker Mike.
  • Combat Pragmatist: A non-combat example, he tends to cheat when going against James at board games.
  • The Faceless: At first he only played The Nerd's masked enemies. While in Board James he shows his face, in AVGN, he doesn't (the only time he's unmasked is playing The Joker, and thus with make-up).
  • The Lancer: Acts as this to James when it comes to putting out videos and other media-related assistance.
  • Jerkass: He's called Motherfucker Mike for a reason.
  • Not the Way It Is Meant to Be Played: He has his own series alongside James's videos that are dedicated to finding glitches of all kinds in old games as well as other content that wouldn't fit The Nerd's repertoire.

The Ninja Master (Kevin Finn)

The Game Graphic Glitch Gremlin (Kevin Finn)
Mmm, glitches! Ya like 'em?

Shitpickle (James Rolfe)

Super Mecha Death Christ 2000 B.C. v4.0 Beta (James Rolfe)

  • Been There, Shaped History: He was present for a bewildering array of historical events.
  • BFG: All over his body/chassis.
  • Catchphrase: "FUCKERS!!!"
  • Cluster F-Bomb: He loves saying his catchphrase a lot as well as the F-word in general.
  • Deus ex Machina: In the Super Mario Bros. 3 review:
    Nerd: The power of Super Mecha Death Christ compels you!
  • Eye Beams: He has those too. He'll use everything he's got on his enemy!
  • Heel–Face Turn: He's originally shown to be an agent of Satan in Dorothy Goes To Hell. As of the Super Mario Bros. 3 review, he's firmly on the side of good.
  • Hypocritical Humor: "WATCH YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE!!!" Note that this was in response to the Nerd exclaiming "Holy shit!". It suggests that Super Mecha Death Christ, though not taking kindly to blasphemy, is otherwise fine with vulgarity.
  • Kung-Fu Jesus: A mechanized Jesus with tons of weapons and armor strapped all over in.
  • No Indoor Voice: Look at his catch phrase.
  • Sir Swearsalot: Even when everything is nice and calm, he still swears.
  • Tank Goodness: That's what his main body consists of: a tank with tons of guns built on it.

Nerdy Turd (James Rolfe)

R.O.B. (Robotic Operating Buddy)

  • A.I. Is a Crapshoot: Obviously, Nintendo never intended for R.O.B. to turn all video games into games that only R.O.B. can play.
  • Big Bad: Of Episode 100.
  • Blue and Orange Morality: To an extent. It sees Gyromite and Stack-Up as perfect games, probably since they're the only ones it can play.
  • Dark Messiah: Believes it's destined to rid the world of bad games... by turning all games into copies of Gyromite and Stack-Up.
  • Grotesque Cute Machines
  • It's All About Me: He views Gyromite and Stack Up as the only good video games in the world, because those are the only two games that he knows how to play.
  • Pintsized Powerhouse: Even when he's tiny, he manages to punch the Nerd with his claws hard enough to make him spit up blood.
  • Reality Warper: Once he gets angered, he changes all the games the Nerd has to just Gyromite and Stack-Up
  • Robot Buddy: It's in his name, but sharply subverted in that he not only attacks the Nerd and nearly reduces him to a bloody mess, but attempts to purge every single video game in existence except Gyromite and Stack-Up.
  • Robo Speak: He has a sightly deep, monotone, male voice.
  • Technopath: Once he shows his full power, he controls the consoles that the Nerd has, tying him down with controller wires.
  • Well-Intentioned Extremist: He firmly believes that whittling down the entire video game library to just two games will rid the world of bad video games forever.

Death Kitty (Boo)

Bugs Bunny

The famous character of Looney Tunes fame, who is a minor foe of the Nerd. He appears in three reviews, Bugs Bunnys Birthday Blowout, Bugs Bunnys Crazy Castle and Mega Man Games.

  • Amusing Injuries: Zigzags between this and giving some really brutal injuries to the Nerd in Crazy Castle.
  • Annoying Laugh: He gets this when he transforms into Woody Woodpecker near the end of Crazy Castle.
  • Back from the Dead: He inexplicably returns, no worse for wear, at the end of the Mega Man Games review, although he's not back for revenge—in fact, he's willingly playing the crappy games so that the Nerd doesn't have to play them anymore. The Nerd gives him a beatdown and takes his job back.
  • Berserk Button: Being shat on.
  • Body Horror: When the Nerd rips off his head, he immediately sprouts another one, albeit the head of another character altogether.
  • Butt-Monkey: Has shades of his in Birthday Blowout, with the Nerd smashing a beer bottle on his head, offhand backhanding him, and lunging at him, all before his birthday beating at the end. He goes through the routine again at the end of the Mega Man Games review.
  • The Bus Came Back: He makes a cameo appearance at the end of the Mega Man Games review, saying he's taken the Nerd's place while he was time traveling so that the Nerd doesn't have to play bad games anymore. The Nerd will have none of it and delivers another brutal beatdown to him.
  • Continuity Nod: In the Crazy Castle review, he's back for revenge on the Nerd, and he references the Nerd defecating all over his face at the end of his last appearance. In the end of the Mega Man Games review, he makes a brief return, ironically playing Bugs Bunny's Birthday Blowout, telling the Nerd hes taken his job and that he doesn't have to play bad games anymore. He promptly gets yet another brutal beatdown, courtesy of the Nerd.
  • Curb-Stomp Battle:
    • The Nerd effortlessly beats him to a pulp in both the end of the Birthday Blowout and Mega Man Games review.
    • In the Crazy Castle episde, on the other hand, Bugs is more than a match for the Nerd in combat.
  • Everyone Has Standards: He may like getting beaten up, but he hates being shat on.
  • Fire and Brimstone Hell: Sent there with the nerd at the end of huge Crazy Castle review.
  • Humiliation Conga: Bugs gets his worst since Tortoise Wins by a Hare by the end of the Birthday Blowout review, where the Nerd goes ballistic at the games ending, and delivers a well earned No-Holds-Barred Beatdown to Bugs, topping it off with him crapping all over Bugs' face.
  • Karmic Trickster: This being Bugs Bunny, he still has shades of this despite being more aggressive.
  • Killer Rabbit: A literal one, mainly in the Crazy Castle review.
  • Laser-Guided Karma: After heckling the Nerd throughout all of the Birthday Blowout review, the Nerd is more than willing to turn the tables on him at the end. Bugs returns the favor in the follow up.
  • Made of Iron: In both of his appearances, he takes an excruciating amount of punishment from the Nerd, and even gets his head ripped off in his second appearance, and still keeps on kicking. It takes a Cartoon Bomb to bring him down.
  • Mythology Gag: He sprouts the head of Woody Woodpecker in the climax of the Crazy Castle review, a nod to the earliest Bugs being similar to Woody, being co created by Ben Hardaway, and both characters initially being voiced by Mel Blanc.
  • Off with His Head!: The Nerd rips off his head, but it doesn't kill him.
  • One-Winged Angel: When the Nerd rips off his head, he sprouts the head of Woody Woodpecker and continues fighting.
  • Screwy Squirrel: Mixed with his karmic trickster elements.
  • Stylistic Suck: He's portrayed by Mike Matei in a cheap Bugs Bunny halloween costume.
  • Taking You with Me: How the nerd bests him in Crazy Castle.
  • Took a Level in Jerkass: In contrast to his generally cool, laid back passive aggressive persona, this Bugs is a foul mouthed jerk who is not above a one on one fight.
  • Too Kinky to Torture: Lampshaded by the Nerd in the Crazy Castle episode.
    The Nerd: Come on, I thought toons like to get beat up.
    Bugs Bunny: We do, Doc, but you know what we don't like? Getting shit on the fucking face!
  • Trademark Favorite Food: Carrots, as usual.

Rex Viper Rigs (James Rolfe)

  • Ascended Extra: Originally a one-off character from a joke in the Big Rigs episode, before turning into a recurring character in The Nerd's lore.
  • "Awesome McCool" Name: Seriously, Rex Viper Rigs.
  • Cool Shades: Wears shades to fit his manly attitude.
  • Deep South: His design is meant to evoke the image of rough truckers from southern American States.
  • Given Name Reveal: Didn't reveal his name until his fourth appearance.
  • Large Ham: He needs to be, otherwise his commercials would suck as much as the games he promotes.
  • Meaningful Name: In his first appearance, he advertised Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing, and lo and behold, his last name actually is "Rigs".
  • Never Needs Sharpening: All of his commercials consist almost entirely of him taking the biggest, most glaring flaws of the game he's currently advertising and rephrasing them to sound positive.
  • No Indoor Voice: Generally speaks loudly but doesn't outright shout, unless he's in a commercial where he will shout like a boss.
  • Parody Commercial: His only real purpose is to do over-the-top commercials for the worst games imaginable, though he also appeared in the Nerd's version of Magicant to give him some advice.
  • Sleeves Are for Wimps: Always wears tank tops to show off his manly tattoos.
  • Testosterone Poisoning: His main defining character trait.

Macaulay Culkin

  • Adam Westing: Appears to be portraying himself as a washed-up Former Child Star since the Nerd is utterly unable to recognize him for the entire first half of the episode despite the many hints he keeps dropping.
  • Noodle Incident: The Nerd criticizes one of the Home Alone games for having a boss fight against an evil living tree, since that never happened in any of the movies. While it's true that Kevin McCallister never fought an evil tree, Culkin himself apparently has, and is extremely concerned as to how the game developers found out about it.
  • Paper-Thin Disguise: His disguise as "The Pizza Boy" isn't very good, and only really succeeds because the Nerd can't recognize him as Macaulay Culkin anyway. It includes a nametag that literally says "Pizza Boy"... which peels off to reveal a second nametag that says "Macaulay Culkin".

Fred Fuchs (Gilbert Gottfried)

  • Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Well, when it comes to building hardware, anyway. After all, he managed to make a functional computer out of bamboo, coconuts and hyena feces despite being a complete loon. That being said, this is definitely not the case for him as a game designer, since the games he makes are barely functional garbage.
  • Cloudcuckoolander: He's just... Holy. Shit.
  • Cool Guns: Has a motherfucking Mauser bolt-action rifle.
  • The Hermit: He lives all alone in a dense jungle somewhere in Asia.
  • Mad Artist: A jungle-dwelling lunatic who programs "games" using computers built out of jungle foliage and animal droppings, while threatening to shoot people who criticize his work.
  • No Indoor Voice: It's Gilbert Gottfried. What did you expect?

Seamus Blackley

  • Adam Westing: To a degree. Not only are his first lines a parody of Dennis Nedry's infamous "you didn't say the magic word" taunt, he's portrayed as a thin-skinned schemer with a fondness for Disproportionate Retribution.
  • Affably Evil: He comes off as friendly and chill at first... but then you find out what he does to people who criticize Jurassic Park: Trespasser.
  • Can't Take Criticism: When people criticize Trespasser, he arranges for them to be stranded on an island where he'll drive them insane so they'll love the game.
  • Driven to Madness: This is what he tries to do to caustic critics that pan his game.
  • Walking Spoiler: As you can probably tell, it's hard to talk about him without giving away something pretty big.


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