So, it's time to talk about...myself. On this godforsaken website called TV Tropes. More like TV Turd! Come on, I'm a fucking video game reviewer! Get The Nostalgia Critic for this television shit! Oh, all right. But what the hell is that bum doing here instead?
So, I'm the fucking Nerd, and I review shitty games. It's my duty to review dysfunctional games (mostly made by incarnate of hell, LJN) and warn people from playing this shit. They have several fucking problems, like shitty controls, HORRIBLE music, annoying enemies and putrid graphics. Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK WERE THESE PEOPLE THINKING?!? I'D RATHER PUT MY BALLS IN A CROCODILE'S MOUTH WHILE SHOVING MY HEAD UP A UNICORN'S ASSHOLE!!!!
Shitload of fucking tropes
- The Alcoholic: Comes when you review shitty fucking games. I especially like Rolling Rock. And I like drinking Rolling Rock on a Roll n Rocker. ROLLING ROCK ON A ROLL N ROCKER!
- Ambiguous Disorder: Motherfucker, my anger is perfectly justified. How do these games survive for 30 years? I could barely stand 30 seconds playing these excuses for entertainment.
- Arch-Enemy: Laughin Jokin' Numbnuts bring nothing but miserables by making more SHITTY FUCKING Games! Also, Fucking Fred Fucks!
- Berserk Button:
- Really shitty controls! Like there's four buttons in front of the controller! BUT THAT'S NOT ENOUGH TO WORK WITH?!? INSTEAD THEY PROGRAM IT TO ALL KIND OF CRAZY BUTTON COMBINATIONS AND SHIT?!?
- Awful, awful music. I especially hate LJN Video Art. It just goes KHHHHHHHHHHHHH. PERFECT FUCKING QUALITY. Makes Beethoven look like fucking pop shit. You know that whenever I see that rainbow logo on the box or cartridge, that means I'm fucked.
- NO FUCKING PAUSES! Do I just have to hold my shit?!? Or, actually never mind. I'll just shit on shit.....I mean the cartridge.....fuck off. My ass is worth more!
- Catchphrase: Here are my thoughts on this article.
- WHAT A SHITLOAD OF FUCK!!!
- I'D RATHER EAT SHIT AND CHOKE ON IT TO DEATH!!!
- Caustic Critic: What? You think I'm gonna be nice to shitty games? Piss off.
- Cluster F-Bomb: Man, fuck this article! Fuck it to hell! Fuck it to oblivion! It fucking sucks!
- Comical Overreacting: WHY ARE THEY NO FUCKING CONTINUES IN GAMES?!? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
- Deadpan Snarker: Wow, I'm like, totally fucking surprised you haven't noticed this already.
- Disco Dan: What? I'm supposed to bring people back to the past.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: SHITTY FUCKING GAMES REALLY FUCKING TRIGGER ME MAN!
- Sir Swears-a-Lot: Wow, how fucking shocking. It's not like that's the fucking main fucking thing about my character, cunt.