Alrighty, here's the entry for the main villain of my story Megami no Hanabira: Father Archibald Phillips
- Name: (Father) Archibald Phillips
- Age: Late 80's-Early 90's
- Personality: It's difficult to tell what parts of his personality are real or just an act he put up: whether he was always a frothing, screaming monster underneath his avuncular charm or if he just lost it with his constant setbacks. But what's certain is that he's an absolute sociopath: devoid of empathy, a Consummate Liar, willing to kill and/or endanger thousands for the sake of his ambitions. Upon hitting his Villainous Breakdown, he dives headfirst into A God Am I, reveling in his (borrowed) angelic powers and declaring himself above the Almighty Himself. He despises humanity for turning away from god, and believes it to be beyond God's forgiveness.
- Abilities: Charismatic as hell as a feeble human. When he is empowered by his angelic benefactors he gains Flash Step, Mind over Matter, Super-Strength and Made of Iron. When he takes over the body of said benefactors he gets a Healing Factor, Eye Beams and Blow You Away
- Weaknesses: His stubbornness is his most prominent one: his abject refusal to realize that his plan's running away from him allows it to fall apart to a degree it really shouldn't have otherwise. This mostly stems from his overwhelming Pride: how could he realize things are going wrong if he is completely unable to accept that he had made mistakes? Once cornered he goes into a Villainous Breakdown, which further impedes him.
- Goals: At first, a worldwide theocracy: he unleashes demons into a Japanese city so that he can clean them up with angels and thus win support for his organization, The Flock. Once that falls apart, his goals shift to 'exterminate humanity and fuck off to Heaven as an angel', and that's replaced almost immediately afterwards to 'overthrow the Great Will and rule over all of creation'
- Motivation: Overall disgust toward humanity and its sinful ways: he wants to use demons to act as a new biblical plague, terrifying humanity into repentance and compliance.
- Role in the story: The Big Bad: Metatron may have given him what he needed to enact his plan, but it was his plan to begin with. Throughout most of it, Phillips spends his time giving sermons as his followers run his Monster Protection Racket. Unsurprising as he's an arthritic old man who can't walk without a cane. Once cornered, he is empowered by Metatron and battles the main characters directly.
- Backstory: Very little is known about him, other than that he ran a megachurch over in the United States before forming The Flock out of the congregation and putting his plan into action.
- Relevant Tropes:
- Ax-Crazy: By the time the girls fight him directly, he's a violent, foaming-at-the-mouth animal.
- Badass Baritone: Has a deep, thundering voice perfect for preaching. It's actually Metatron's voice. When Phillips falls out of favor with him, it's revealed that his voice is rasping, weedy, and barely audible.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: When first introduced, Phillips is an avuncular, friendly man all too eager to help the girls survive the outbreak (that he caused). Beneath this mask, however, is a hateful, genocidal, self-righteous monster.
- Dark Messiah: Styles himself as this, as he plans to drag humanity back to God kicking and screaming.
- Expy: Think Preacher from Twisted Metal Black, and you have Phillips, at least in appearance.
- Faux Affably Evil: Even after his true nature is revealed, Phillips doesn't lose his polite, professional demeanor until the last moment, when he completely snaps. With the reveal of his true nature however, his politeness become unbearably smarmy and sarcastic.
- The Fundamentalist: The truly infuriating kind who honestly thinks he knows his religion better than the god he worships.
- Large Ham: Varies between this and Cold Ham depending on how crazy he's gone. Normally, just talking normally in that booming voice of his is enough to qualify him as this, but once he snaps he chews the scenery to paste on top of it.
- Satanic Archetype: In the classical sense, considering Lucifer is an unambiguous good guy in this story. A Manipulative Bastard who hates humanity? Check. Portrayed as and later becomes an Angel of Light? Check. Declares himself above God Almighty and wants to take His place? Check. Decides at one point to unleash demons on the earth for the sake of wiping it clean? Sounds like something Old Scratch would do.
- Sinister Minister: Eeyup. Whether he was always the slavering monster the girls face at the end or he simply broke under the weight of his collapsing plan, he was still all-too-willing to unleash a demon outbreak on Kazamino and indirectly kill scores of people for the sake of his schemes.
- Sinister Shades: His trademark is his pair of reflective Lennon Specs
- Villain with Good Publicity: His most dangerous attribute: as he's the only one really protecting the people of Kazamino from the demon outbreak, this makes him quite beloved by them. Defeating him entails revealing his role in the outbreak on top of actually fighting him.
- Villainous Breakdown: The constant setbacks for him finally push Phillips into embracing his inner cartoon villain, his motivations rapidly deteriorating from 'take over the world and rule it as a theocracy' to 'exterminate humanity and OVERTHROW THE GREAT WILL.'
Don't want to be rude here, but there is a rule on this thread, as well as on Hero and Neutral Character critique threads - before you post your character, you need to write a critique of the previous character.
I will become a great writer one day! Hopefully...
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
Oh. Sorry.
Well, I'm looking at the profile and I gotta say I'm intrigued: I admit Isekai is a bit of a guilty pleasure for me in terms of genre, and it's usually the hero who got brought over from another world. Having the otherworlder (initially) be the villain is a very interesting twist. You also seemed to get the Well-Intentioned Extremist down, too: a lot of people try it but they just end up looking like a Not-So-Well-Intentioned Extremist or just a hypocrite.
Phillips is a pretty solid villain. You've done a nice job showing him Jumping Off the Slippery Slope, and he's just so... hate-able all the while. I don't see anything that really needs improvement, except maybe some weakness in his powers. Even that might not be necessary, though, if his personal flaws hinder him enough.
I've got a character idea that just won't leave me alone, and it needs some help to get to the point where I can put it down.
Name: That Which Whispers (or some variant thereof)
Age: ???
Personality: Despite its intimidating, demonic appearance, That Which Whispers is actually quite friendly. It's just that it runs on Blue-and-Orange Morality, making it just as likely to screw you over as it is to help you, and it has no idea. In any case, it is a being of its word, and will do its level best to keep any promise it makes (though not always in the way the recipient had in mind).
Abilities: It has Reality Warper abilities that allow it to do anything asked of it, and two rings of seven floating eyes that can see a person's virtues and vices to gauge what they're most likely to want. It can also perceive things far away through people who have allowed it to access their senses, and is capable of possession as well.
Weaknesses: Being sealed away for a long time with very little contact with the outside world has severely weakened its abilities. It's also subject to Elemental Rock-Paper-Scissors like everything else in the story, with fairies being particularly bothersome. Not to mention its mindset gives it difficulty understanding when it's doing more harm than good.
Goals: It's currently trying to restore its power by making deals with people.
Motivation: This is where I'm stuck. It can do pretty much anything it wishes once it recovers enough of its power to do it, so what else could it want?
Role: It currently doesn't appear much, if at all, in the story arc I'm currently working on, but if I continue to write for this universe afterwards, it'd be a recurring help/hindrance to protagonists and antagonists alike.
Tropes:
- Animal Motifs: Borrows from three of the Seven Deadly Sins: foxes for Greed, snakes for Envy, and peacocks for Pride.
- Baphomet: In addition to the animal motifs listed above, its design incorporates his three horns.
- Blue-and-Orange Morality: It doesn't fully realize the harm it causes with its actions. The recipient got what they wanted; how is that a bad thing?
- Berserk Button: Trying to scam the Whisperer is a surefire way to incur its wrath. If it doesn't screw you over hard enough when it's not trying...
- Casting a Shadow: When it fights, this is how it attacks.
- Curse Escape Clause: It always includes one, even if it is difficult/time-sensitive/has other consequences. If you're not satisfied, there's a way out.
- Dark Is Not Evil: It means no harm, but causes enough of it on accident that it got shoved into a can anyway.
- Deal with the Devil: Its primary MO. Compared to most examples, it's actually pretty reasonable. If only it understood the humans it was dealing with better.
- Demonic Possession: Yep. It usually only does this either with permission from or in defense of its charge.
- Expy: Played with. It's a supernatural deal-maker along the lines of Bill Cipher, but is less powerful and has a completely different personality. It also shares some similarities with the Goetic demon Andrealphus.
- Gods Need Prayer Badly: Or Devil Needs Deals Badly as the case may be. It has to make deals to increase and maintain its power, and its long period of isolation has reduced it to a mere fraction of its former glory.
- I Gave My Word: It will always uphold its end of the bargain, you can be sure of that. If it flat-out can't do what someone asks, it will plainly say so, and either suggest an alternative or advise them to wait until it can.
- Lawful Purple: It has a strict personal code that it follows, and will (try to) help anyone who asks, good or evil.
- Mark of the Supernatural: Upon making a deal with someone, it puts a mark on that person, which changes and then fades once the deal is either fulfilled or broken. The mark is usually placed on the back of the hand, but doesn't have to be.
- Obliviously Evil: While not actively malevolent, its deals end badly often enough (whether the gift was inherently flawed or just improperly used) that it can be hard to tell.
- Our Demons Are Different: While not explicitly referred to as a demon, it basically is one, complete with deal-making, possession, and shadowy powers.
- Purple Is Powerful: Has a black-and-purple color scheme.
- Reality Warper: Used to be one on par with, say, Discord. It still retains this ability, albeit to a much smaller degree.
- Sealed Evil in a Can: The thing's been sealed up in the middle of nowhere for ages. Its only contact with anyone during that time was with those who happened to stumble upon it.
- Seeing Through Another's Eyes: Frequently part of its deals, especially early on when it lacks the network of people it once had. It can access other senses as well.
- Transformation of the Possessed: This can occur if things get truly serious, or if it just stays inside someone too long. Right off the bat, anyone possessed will have glowing purple eyes.
- Whispering Ghosts: That Which Whispers can communicate this way with anyone who approaches its prison, hence the epithet.
- Your Soul Is Mine!: Played with. While it doesn't actively seek out people's souls, it will gladly take them if offered, since this boosts its power significantly more than most deals.
The Master Of Fright & A Demon Of Light
NAME: Sterling Roach
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OCCUPATION: A saboteur behind the German lines in WW 2
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APPEARANCE: Dirty blonde, slicked back hair and a beard of same color; Icy blue eyes with no reflection; The body type of a cliched superhero and a lantern jaw.
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COSTUME: A black, long-sleeved shirt; A badge-shaped chestplate with five vertical red and white stripes and a blue square on the upper left with three white stars; A leather jacket with his unit's insignia on the shoulder; Dark blue pants; a belt with a silver eagle silhoulette buckle; Brown leather boots; A gun holster attached to the belt and his left thigh; A blue helmet with a white star painted on it and motorcycle goggles on it.
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WEAPONRY: A badge-shaped shield formed by a large, slightly curved blue star with a smaller white star in the middle, and three red and white vertical stripes under it; A M3 Fighting Knife strapped to his boot; And a Colt 1903 Hammerless as a sidearm.
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PERSONALITY: A psychopath detached from the rest of humanity, Sterling cares for nothing and no one besides himself and maybe his protector and later lover Jerome, indepted, lovestruck, and blind to the man's manipulations, and would sell his country for a sandwhich. Taught to be pragmatic and treacherous by his harsh life, he only looks out for himself and later Jerome, taking his place as the obedience-expecting protector. Even when he was weak, he loved the thrill of a good fight, but as a soldier, picks his fights more carefully and will not sacrifice his men for nothing, as he knows he cannot get more. He thinks German people are evil by nature and that he has to ”get rid of” them all, mostly targeting civilians.
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He admires and styles himself after the heroes from propaganda comics, only wearing stars and stripes because ”it’s part of the charm” and plays the perfect good guy to the masses and his superior officers, while terrorizing the mostly innocent German civilians and even taking nazi officers out of picture for their hierarchial competitors for money and thrill. The only reason he hasn't deserted The Allies for The Axis is that he loves his job and knows what nazis are doing, and not wanting to be a part of something like that.
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BACKSTORY: Sterling Roach was born during the World War One, where his father died of mustard gas, and grew up alone with his abusive mother during The Great Depression. He made friends with another poor outcast, Jerome ”Banter” Banner, who protected him on the condition Sterling did what he told him to. Usually those orders weren't very bad, so he complied. Jerome protected him from the worst, but he saw the unfairness of the world and how the society encouraged strong prey on weak, and the whole foundation of America was blood money, darwinism, and extreme capitalism and the poor and helpless could do nothing but die slowly and painfully. Sterling tried to make himself as strong as he could and preyed on those weaker than himself, thinking there was only two slots in the world, predator and prey, and that those who refuse to become neither of those would not survive.
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In desperation, he eventually killed his mother and tried to get far away by joining the army, but was rejected due to his heart problems. He tried five times, in five different cities, under five false names. On the sixth try, he was caught, but a scientist looking for guinea pigs made Sterling an offer; if he volunteered to be the test subject, he would not be punished for lying in his forms. Slightly panicked, Sterling accepted, leaving his friend to leave for Italian front alone.
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The training was harsh, especially for Sterling, but the scientist still picked him above all the others, despite the protests of their commanding officer. The painful experiment was a success, but Sterling realized that if the treatment was given to other soldiers naturally more fit than him, he would lose what made him special, and could even become a prey again, which he could not let happen. He killed the scientist, framing his German-American assistant and getting him executed.
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Sterling was given his costume and the code name ”(I DUNNO YET)”, and sent to the propaganda tour in Italy, where he walked into Austrian castle to save the prisoners, including Jerome, from nazi scientists, earning him a promotion. The tours became fewer in numbers and he led his unit deep into enemy territory. It was there where he first met Jeremias Stück (My story's hero, a German vigilante who fights nazis and tries to save Germany), attacking him for being German, and was shocked to see he could to hand-to-hand with him and fight him to the draw. Sterling's terror on mostly innocent civilians brought them into conflict more and more, Sterling growing convinced that Jeremias was the bad guy and he was the hero, just like in the propaganda comic books he loved.
Edited by Nukeli on Mar 24th 2019 at 8:48:34 PM
~ * Bleh * ~ (Looking for a russian-speaker to consult about names and words for a thing)
Just a heads-up: the rule on the character critique threads is to critique the previous poster's character before posting your own.
That being said, Sterling is an interesting, twisted take on Captain Patriotic, and the usual "American hero vs. German villain" dynamic of these kinds of stories being flipped on its head is a fantastic idea. His psychopathy may be just a little over-the-top, but if that's what you're going for, then by all means proceed.
The Master Of Fright & A Demon Of Light
I might tone it down later, but my goal was to make him as nuts as possible
Bumping the thread because I still need some help (x 4).
I awoke in a sweat from the American Dream
Might as well post the main antagonist of The Sorrows Of Koroviev, the dark fantasy comic I'm working on, he's probably the most developed villain I have. Here goes.
Name: Lord Heinrich Keller
Age: 48
Personality: Heinrich is the commander of the Inquisition of the city-state of Koroviev, and one of the most powerful men in the city. Bigoted, fanatical, and intensely cruel, he is responsible for purging the city of undesirables, most notably nonhumans and magic users. He has personally participated in the torture and execution of thousands of people since coming to power a decade ago. Heinrich is defined by his contempt for all other life; not only does he hate nonhumans, foreigners, magic users, and everyone he considers "morally degenerate", he can barely hide his contempt for his own allies and subordinates. In truth, Heinrich has always secretly believed that he and God are the only beings that truly exist, and that the rest of the world is an illusion designed by God to test his will. He genuinely doesn't believe anyone else is even sentient or worth respecting in any way, considering them to be either occasionally useful tools at best or obstacles to be destroyed at worst. Because he's pathologically incapable of viewing anyone else as equal to him, Heinrich lacks basic social skills; he can be superficially charming and charismatic, but he can't carry on a conversation and has no real friends. He has no real hobbies either, unless you count torturing people, and it's shown that in his private time he literally just stares blankly at the wall.
Abilities: Heinrich has no magical abilities of any kind, nor is he particularly skilled at combat, despite wearing a sword with him everywhere. However, he commands the loyalty of the Inquisition, the Grey Militia, and the Militant Fraternal Order of the Shining Hand, thus giving him direct or indirect control over the vast majority of the armed forces of the city. While subservient to the Grand Minister and Central Council of the Church on paper, Heinrich wields more actual political power than they do because he has the support of both the military and the majority of the commoners, who view him as a valiant protector of the city. Ultimately, Heinrich's biggest strength is his ability to appeal to the fear and hatred of others and win them over to his side. He is also personally quite wealthy from expropriating the property of his victims, allowing him to keep a private hit squad of knights known as the Wolf Brigade on payroll, which he uses to deal with political opponents he can't just openly arrest and execute.
Weaknesses: Heinrich is extremely arrogant and impulsive, causing him to overlook critical flaws in his plans and commit Stupid Evil acts just because he felt like it at the time. For the majority of the story he isn't even aware that the two main protagonists exist and are actively working against him simply because he's not paying attention to them. He also has a Hair-Trigger Temper and a bad habit of alienating allies while he still needs them. Finally, his public charisma falls apart in private because of his aforementioned lack of social skills, leading to his Co-Dragons Konrad and Ludwig actually despising him and only sticking with him because they share common goals.
Goals: Heinrich's goal is initially just to install himself as dictator of Koroviev and wage war against the Kingdom of Gorani to win back the lands they lost following the Eastern War. However, this all changes after he learns of the Black Stone, which he views as a gift from God directly to him. After he acquires it, it possesses his mind and his only goal is to spread its influence as far as possible so that he can rule over the heavenly paradise it creates as the Right Hand of God.
Motivation: Heinrich sees himself as a Well-Intentioned Extremist who's trying to save Koroviev from sin and degeneracy, but deep down his motivations can be boiled down to pure narcissism mixed with a lizard brain contempt for everything different from him. As said above, he thinks that only he and God are real. Thus, he essentially views the rest of the world like a video game that he has to "win" for God to be pleased, and in his mind winning means eliminating everyone and everything that he doesn't like. While this would normally be impossible, the Black Stone gives him the means to accomplish it for real.
Role in the story: From the first panel of the comic Heinrich is setting the pieces up for his coup against the Church. He controls the Grey Militia, the city's Culture Police, and has allied with the Militant Fraternal Order of the Shining Hand, the knightly order that guards this region of the world. For the first half of the story he's mostly just setting things up for his uprising while the heroes escape his notice. However, after the main character Louvel is arrested on suspicion of spying, Heinrich becomes aware of an Artifact of Doom known as the Black Stone and makes acquiring it his main goal. He eventually launches his coup, sending the the Wolf Brigade and Knights of the Shining Hand to eliminate the The Hero Louvel and the Big Good Johannes. Louvel pulls an Assassin Outclassin' and wipes out the members of the Wolf Brigade, while Johannes, surrounded in his Mage Tower, chooses to detonate his stores of alchemist fire and pull a Taking You with Me on his attackers. Heinrich's coup is successful, and he gets his hands on the Black Stone soon afterwards. The Black Stone warps Koroviev into an Eldritch Location, brainwashing all living things within its borders and resurrecting the dead. Heinrich follows the Black Stone underground as it creates a cavern beneath the Grand Cathedral for the being inside it to hatch. When Louvel finds him next, Heinrich has torn his eyes out and is wandering around in a state Black Stone-induced bliss, his mind totally occupied by the visions it gives him. Louvel passes him by and kills the Child of the Black Stone, destroying its influence over the city and ripping away Heinrich's paradise. Louvel finds him again on his way out, wandering blind and helpless through the darkness of the Cradle, and deems him Not Worth Killing. His fate after this is left ambiguous.
Backstory: A pretty basic From Nobody to Nightmare situation. Heinrich first came to prominence as an officer in the city's Secret Police while it was besieged by orcs during the Eastern War, where he became infamous for interrogating criminals by locking them in the same cells as the people accused of cannibalism. After the war ended, Heinrich participated in the religious revolution that overthrew the unpopular Council of Princes and turned the city into a totalitarian theocracy. Heinrich then oversaw the purge of magic users and intellectuals, during which he personally tortured the Big Good, Johannes, into selling his friends out, permanently crippling his legs in the process. Heinrich tortured and killed so many people in this time that he doesn't even specifically remember Johannes.
Relevant Tropes:
- And I Must Scream: His final fate. The best case scenario is that the Child's influence didn't leave him immortal, meaning he'll at least starve to death eventually. Otherwise, yeesh.
- Arch-Enemy: To Johannes, in an Unknown Rival kind of way.
- Body Horror: Removes his own eyes and ears after falling under the Black Stone's control, as it shows him a heavenly paradise so beautiful that he no longer needs his earthly senses.
- Brainwashed and Crazy: Happens to him and everyone else in Koroviev after he captures the Black Stone, as he is made to love the Child of the Black Stone.
- Burn the Witch!: His M.O. He significantly expands his scope beyond "witches" over the course of the story.
- But for Me, It Was Tuesday: He's tortured so many people he doesn't actually remember who Johannes is.
- Catchphrase: Calling things "degenerate".
- Cloud Cuckoolander: Heinrich doesn't seem to be living in quite the same reality as everyone else. He has numerous odd habits that hint at his solipsistic worldview, including a tendency to talk out loud to God in full earshot of his subordinates, as well as a belief that his smallest thoughts influence reality.
- Cruel Mercy: On the receiving end of this at the conclusion of the story. Louvel lets him live, but the Child of the Black Stone, the only thing he's ever cared about* , is dead, and the heavenly paradise he's felt entitled to all his life is ripped away from him, leaving him to wander blind and deaf through the cold labyrinths beneath the Grand Cathedral, possibly for the rest of time.
- Dragon-in-Chief: Despite being subservient to the Grand Minister on paper, he is indisputably the most powerful man in Koroviev.
- Expy: He's Captain Vidal with the world view of Adam Susan.
- The Fundamentalist: He really wouldn't be out of place in ISIS.
- Hates Everyone Equally: Zigzagged. Heinrich hates pretty much everyone but himself, but he hates some people more than others, and his Disproportionate Retribution isn't applied evenly. For example, while he's perfectly willing to sentence women to death for adultery, his response to one of his own men being accused of rape is to sentence the accused to a brief disciplinary caning before having the accuser fined for bothering him.
- It's All About Me: Quite literally thinks the world revolves around him.
- Knight Templar: A subversion, as while he seems to be one on the surface, he's really a nihilistic psychopath who just wants to get rid of everything he doesn't like.
- Lack of Empathy: His defining trait, as he doesn't even consider anyone else to actually exist.
- Laser-Guided Karma: See Cruel Mercy above. For a man who spent his life self-righteously torturing, killing, and condemning countless people to eternal damnation, Heinrich ends up in a very personal hell after the Child of the Black Stone dies.
- Light Is Not Good: Always seen in his white Inquisition uniform.
- Loners Are Freaks: Heinrich has never had any real friends due to his insular, sociopathic nature.
- Misanthrope Supreme: Despite being a human supremacist, it's shown that he hates people, including his own allies and subordinates.
- A Nazi by Any Other Name: Heavily inspired by numerous real life fascists, most notably Reinhard Heydrich.
- No Sense of Humor: He hates jokes, especially jokes at his expense.
- No Social Skills: His sociopathy and narcissism mean he is incapable of socializing normally with other people.
- Non-Action Big Bad: Despite wearing a sword everywhere and preaching the value of righteous violence, Heinrich never personally engages in combat.
- Sadist: Inflicting pain on people he considers inferior to him seems to be one of the only things he actually enjoys.
- The Sociopath: A pretty textbook example.
- Straight Edge Evil: Refrains from the corruption and hedonism of the other Church officials. It's implied that he's totally asexual.
- Torture Technician: He doesn't have to personally participate in all the torturing, but insists on doing so anyway since he loves it so much.
- Villain with Good Publicity: The common people of Koroviev view him as a heroic moral crusader.
Edited by SinNanna on Apr 2nd 2019 at 8:33:18 AM
"...always on the verge of death, yet repeatedly baffling Christendom by continuing to live."
I awoke in a sweat from the American Dream
@Agent Kirin: I think That Which Whispers is a pretty solid character. It kind of reminds me of something from The Witcher, and I enjoy that it's not actively malevolent, just oblivious to human nature. It sounds like it has a cool visual design as well. I think you should flesh out its motivations and the negative consequences of its deals a bit more, though, as it stands it doesn't seem very villainous at all aside from its surface appearance.
Edited by SinNanna on Mar 31st 2019 at 1:00:23 PM
"...always on the verge of death, yet repeatedly baffling Christendom by continuing to live."
Rather than the villain, That Which Whispers seems like the Antagonist. Which is fine and interesting.
Sometimes motivations are quite simple even in a highly complex character. That Which Whispers may simply want to play games with humans for its own entertainment. Or playing games may be what gives it power.
To put it straight, Mortimer Michaels reveals late on that he used to be your conventional evil demonic entity who tortured the sinful sort of thing until he came to Earth to gather his powers and discovered that watching/enabling people to hurt each other, and hurting the innocent, was much more entertaining. Humans have taught Michaels to be even more evil. He's an out-and-out sadist.
Edited by Tightwire on Apr 3rd 2019 at 2:00:49 AM
Yeesh, Heinrich sounds like a son of a bitch. Like...genuine Complete Monster material. It's like if Not Important were a Church Militant. I noticed in the trope page he gets an Alas, Poor Villain entry, but even then it's because his fate is just that brutal that even someone like this guy didn't deserve it.
And on my end, I have another villain from Megami no Hanabira: while Phillips was the Law representative of the story, Chaos wasn't left out, and their representative is the Yakuza Patriarch Shusui Naito.
- Name: Shusui Naito
- Age: Mid-30's
- Personality: Superficially arrogant and swaggering: Beneath the Mask is a self-loathing wreck of a man who wants nothing more to complete his goals so that he can finally die. The best way I can describe this guy is White Guilt incarnate (despite being Japanese): he sees the lives of minorities all over the world as perpetual agony and misery and, being from Old Money originally, sees himself as personally responsible for it. His bloated sense of justice has driven him to attempt to spread the Summoning Program and overthrow the status quo before perishing in the madness.
- Abilities: The Demon Summoning Program, skilled with a knife.
- Weaknesses: Well, here's the part I'm a little leery on. Naito doesn't have a Fatal Flaw that is actively exploited and used against him, but honestly he didn't need one to get his stupid ass kicked. He's a total Butt-Monkey in the realm of the story, despite being a skilled Tamer. NOTHING goes right for the poor bastard: he gets defeated by a bunch of schoolkids and is forced to retreat, is defeated later by the Flock Lieutenant Ethan who uses Uriel to exterminate pretty much all his underlings, and is finally shot dead after the demons are banished and he loses his damn mind and charges a policeman.
- Goals: To spread the Demon Summoning Program to everyone, minorities in particular, in hopes that it will act as an equalizing factor, incite a race/class war that will cull the Idle Rich and other such 'privileged' individuals, and allow those truly 'worthy' to take the throne, whoever they may be.
- Motivation: Hatred toward the 'privileged', himself included.
- Role in the story: Small Role, Big Impact: his theft of the refugee's food and supplies ended up giving the girls a way to get closer to the Flock by offering aid in getting it back (by this point Mai had realized the Flock was up to no good). Unfortunately, he also acted as an obstacle, and managed to royally, if unintentionally, screw over the girls on a couple of occasions when they got caught between his own fight with the Flock.
- Backstory: Came from some manner of Old Money, before he left it behind in a desperate attempt to prove he's not some useless rich guy. Attempted to get a menial job in fast food, didn't pan out, and he had a total existential Freak Out. He managed to work his way up through the ranks of the Yakuza and got his own Family: the Bloody Boars. Had a role in all manner of illegal activity before the demon outbreak.
- Relevant Tropes:
- Badass in a Nice Suit: A pinstriped purple one.
- Dark Messiah: Wants to 'save the world' in his own way: by causing a worldwide war that will cull the weak and allow some Übermensch somewhere to rise from the ashes and lead the world to a golden age.
- Deconstructed Character Archetype: Naito deconstructs the Hope Bringer and Bully Hunter: whatever good intentions he has are buried beneath his violent nature and dogmatic obsession with what he believes 'hope' and 'justice' are; namely that the oppressed should have the chance to bring violent retribution down on the oppressive class. His words reveal an inordinate level of Black-and-White Insanity in this regard; he's quick to roundly declare the lives of minorities as absolutely hopeless and filled with despair at the hands of the evil majority, and is convinced that given the chance, every one of them would jump at his offer to butcher and slaughter the ones in charge. It's telling that the main characters, all five of them lesbians, are less than welcoming of (read: appalled by) his plans, as they are in fact NOT angry, vengeful individuals chomping at the bit to slaughter straight people, and don't want society at large to collapse into violent anarchy, and Naito doesn't want to hear a word they have to say.
- Expy: Of Yamato from Devil Survivor 2, espousing dreams of a meritocracy.
- Freak Out: Naito hit this at some point in his backstory: he came from a wealthy background, and he always felt bad for those less well-off than himself. So he gave up his wealth and status and tried to live as they do...and failed miserably. At this point he snapped, became consumed with self-loathing hatred for the privileged, and decided to create a class war to decide who was truly worthy of greatness.
- Noble Bigot: A very dark example with Naito. It's honestly hard to tell which is more frightening: his perception of all minorities everywhere as helpless, pathetic Woobies with deep-seated hatred of the privileged that will explode into violence if given the means, or the fact he admires such a thing.
- The Social Darwinist: Naito, the leader of the Yakuza, is a variation of the meritocratic variety. He has the basic idea of life being a struggle for survival and the strongest one, ie. the one who survives the struggle and rises to the top being most deserving of rule. However, he is also of the idea that the deck is stacked against certain groups of people, and no matter how strong they are, they'll never have the chance to make something of themselves since it's so grossly and unnaturally unfair. Hence his plans to spread the Summoning Program to everyone, cause a societal meltdown, give everyone an equal chance to rise from the ashes, and see how things turn out.
- Skunk Stripe: Has a white stripe in his hair.
- Vicariously Ambitious: Naito, who intends to distribute the Summoning Program to everyone, so that they can bring their own ambitions to life through use of it. As it stands, he doesn't seem to be getting anything out of it: it's more philosophically driven than through any desire of his own to be The Man Behind the Man or be owed favors. He's less than pleased when he meets people (ie. the protagonists) who don't want anything to do with his scheme.
- War Is Glorious: Arguably the cornerstone of Naito's beliefs. "Talk problems out and try to come to a compromise? Peaceful answers to social issues? Pshaw! Give everyone superweapons, have them slaughter each other, and whoever doesn't die is in the right!"
- Well-Intentioned Extremist: Naito can best be described as thus, fitting his role as a Chaos individual. He wants to make sure everyone 'has a chance to make their dreams come true' without being held back by a corrupt system by unleashing the Demon Summoning Program upon the world and turning everything into a ginormous battle royale.
Edited by krimzonflygon2 on Apr 4th 2019 at 4:05:46 AM
I awoke in a sweat from the American Dream
Haha, I'd like to think he's a little more compelling than Not Important, but I can definitely see the similarity. Heinrich was heavily inspired by real life dictators and terrorists after all, and I think a lot of those guys basically see themselves that way.
In any case, Naito strikes me as a solid Big Bad Wannabe, one that's pitiable and hateable in equal measure. I find him almost sympathetic in how deluded and ineffectual he is. I also like how he starts out as a powerful and intimidating figure, but as he continually gets his ass kicked he just gets more and more pitiful before dying anticlimactically to a random extra. Not sure I have any good suggestions on how to improve him honestly. Perhaps flesh out the incident in his past that caused him to have his current world view?
Edited by SinNanna on Apr 5th 2019 at 12:02:53 PM
"...always on the verge of death, yet repeatedly baffling Christendom by continuing to live."
I have to agree with @Sin Nanna. Naito makes for a good Big Bad Wannabe. But, I have a question - how does he plan to spread Demon Summoning Program? In most Shin Megami Tensei games, the program is spread by it's creator to achieve their goals. Steven
, Anguished One and Miyako did this to help humanity survive the incoming ordeals, while Naoya did it by spreading COMPs with Demon Summoning Program installed as a part of his revenge against God. Since Naito is not the creator of Demon Summoning Program, how does he plan to spread it?
Anyhow, let me show you the reworked profile of major antagonist in my Highschool Dx D / Shin Megami Tensei crossover - the dark summoner and most loyal servant of Lord Krishna and the Divine Powers, Ichigo Hayakawa! Previously named Sorin.
- Name: Ichigo Hayakawa
- Age: In his thirties
- Personality: Ichigo is a sadistic, cold and calculating leader of a criminal syndicate made out of Dark Summoners called Lokapala What are "Dark Summoners"? . He, alongside his fellow Summoners is secretly in league with Hindu god Krishna and the Divine Powers. He serves his masters without question, hoping to bring about their vision of the world into fruition. He takes pleasure in inflicting pain to others, both emotional and physical, as well as causing chaos and mayhem. For this reason, he found kinship with his main demon, Tyrant Loki.
Ichigo hates Kuzunoha Clan with a burning passion, as well as anyone affiliated with them. Merely being friends with a Kuzunoha summoner is a good reason to kill someone. His hatred comes from the fact that Ichigo, when he was still a Kuzunoha summoner, was abused by his mentor and one of the clan elders. Being driven insane by overexposure to Aether, as well as Loki's influence was also a key factor behind his hatred and a reason to join Krishna.
When it comes to other factions, Ichigo looks at them with disdain. They are nothing more but obstacles in Lord Krishna's divine plan. As such, he will do everything he can to destroy them. - Appearance: Ichigo is a handsome man. He has short brown hair and a goatee. His typical attire includes sunglasses, a fancy black fedora and a black jacket over red shirt. He hides under his jacket a bandolier-like pockets, in which he stores his summoning tubes.
- Abilities: Ichigo is a powerful summoner, who can command up to 10 demons at a time. Additionally, he has access to wide array of spells, including Trisagion, Thunder Gods, Ice Age, Deadly Wind, Concentrate, Energy Drain, Jihad (Antichthon to those who played SMT IV and not Strange Journey) and Salvation. He can also use a special curse made by Maitreya to neutralize other Summoners by blocking their summoning abilities.
- Weaknesses: He has limited MP pool (hence Energy Drain) and has to rely on demons to remove debuffs from himself. Although he lacks any elemental weaknesses, he also lacks resistances. Best strategy to beat him - target his support demons and drain his MP until he can't cast spells. But, do it fast before he obliterates you.
- Goals: Help Lord Krishna with fulfilling his plan of placing him as the Top God. Destroy Kuzunoha Clan and their allies, as well as other factions.
- Motivations: Undying Loyalty and Villainous Friendship with Krishna (helping the Divine Powers); His hatred and/or insanity (Destruction of other factions).
- Role in the story: The Heavy for the Divine Powers, Climax Boss for Divine Powers Arc
- Relevant Tropes:
- The Heavy: He's responsible for many things in the crossover, including: saving Raynare and giving her a power boost, killing Nanashi for the first time by siccing Adramelech at him, depowering Shinjiro, collapse of Khaos Brigade, awakening the Fiends. The list goes on.
- Manipulative Bastard: Through his machinations, he managed to recruit many Gaeans to the Divine Powers and gain the support of Magician Faction after Khaos Brigade fell apart because of him.
- Bad Boss: He has little tolerance for failure. He let one of his summoners be devoured by demon horde by failing to kill Rias (and cause a civil war within Devil faction) and let Lord Odin to kill the other for failure at obtaining Demon Summoning Program from JP's and accidentally creating a new demon - Demonee-ho (which proved vital for the heroes to defeat Fiend Trumpeter).
- Didn't See That Coming: Using the curse from Maitreya to Depower Shinjiro of his summoning abilities had unforeseen consequences regarding Tyrant Amon, demon residing within him. I won't tell what exactly happened, but Ichigo was on a receiving end of an epic Curb-Stomp Battle. Also, he didn't foresee Dagda's intervention with Nanashi
- Fallen Hero: He used to be a Kuzunoha Summoner before joining Krishna. One of their best I might add.
- Weapon Of Choice: His demon, Tyrant Loki. His Loki is possibly Dx D Loki, an ACTUAL deity
- Undying Loyalty: To Lord Krishna and the Divine Powers
- Villainous Friendship: With the Divine Powers' leaders.
- Hero Killer: Downplayed He nearly kills Miyako Hotsuin and most of Rookie Tamers, wiped the floor with Occult Research Club excluding Issei and Rias and, with Raynare's help, puts a power-blocking curse on Shinjiro, effectively neutralizing him.
- Rasputinian Death: During his final battle, he took some real beating before dying. That includes: being slashed by no-longer-depowered Shinjiro and Miyako, having his arm torn off by Issei, taking a direct hit from Nanashi's Riot Gun and being bombarded by Hibiki's Holy Dance. Having his head cut off by Masakado finally ended him.
- Curb Stomp Cushion: That being said, he still landed some good hits on them all.
- Always a Bigger Fish: He and the Divine Powers were this to Qlippoth Faction. Ichigo himself killed Rizevim before he could awaken Trihexa.
- For Want Of A Nail: By killing off Rizevim, the leaders of supernatural factions didn't had to seal themselves to stop rampaging Trihexa.
So, what do you think? And, what Dark Summoners would you guys suggest? I'm open for any ideas. I will become a great writer one day! Hopefully...
Naito's original plan was to take down as many Tamers as he could and steal their phones, escape the lockdown, and then distribute the phones to disenfranchised people who could incite the war he wanted: poor people, homosexuals, people he could feasibly convince to use it in the way he intended. In the meantime, he'd be studying the Summoning Program, trying to find some way to replicate and transmit it en masse like a computer virus. Whether he could do it is ultimately unlikely, but that was his original plan.
But then he learned about the Summoning Server: with the knowledge Metatron provided Phillips, the Flock had built this huge machine and used it to transmit and support the Summoning Program. Think Babel except without any eyes or tentacles. Once Naito learned about it, he intended to take control of it and use it to transmit the Summoning Program worldwide.
We can thank Lucifer for all this: he had infiltrated the ranks of the Flock and sabotaged the Server long before the events of the story, reprogramming it so that the Flock couldn't regulate their outbreak and locking it down for seven days. There were never supposed to be Tamers: as soon as the program summoned a demon, it would have deleted itself, making a contract impossible. Lucifer's ultimate intention was to use the outbreak against the Flock, making them look like incompetent boobs while guiding the Tamers to get stronger, culminating in a mad rush to claim the Server for whatever their goals were: Mai and her friends wanted to end the outbreak, Naito wanted to make the outbreak worldwide...
Anyhow, Ichigo Kuros-er, Hayakawa. If I could swing a guess, the Aether that drove him nuts was Wrath-based Aether. As for his character...well, I could see it going either way. Depending on how much emphasis you give to his madness, that could both affect his agency and make him a Tragic Villain. Make him too deplorable, and he could be a Complete Monster...that is, if his loyalty to Krishna doesn't act as a redeeming factor. Maybe the worst he would get is Hate Sink. Which do you think he'd end up: are you going to play him more as a savage monster or emphasize his Aether corruption?
Edited by krimzonflygon2 on Apr 8th 2019 at 4:19:51 AM
Anyhow, here's the last of the Megami no Hanabira antagonists: back to the Law alignment with Colette Phillips, the aforementioned Father Phillips's granddaughter and second-in-command.
- Name: Colette Phillips
- Age: 26
- Personality: Genuinely nice, even to the people the Flock has victimized. Indeed, it doesn't seem to cross her mind that she's lying to them and manipulating their feelings. Gregarious, makes friends easily: the 'Good Samaritan' face of the Flock. Likes being admired and praised and feeling useful, and is absolutely terrified of being treated with disdain by others.
- Abilities: Can summon angels, with Archangel Gabriel being her ace in the hole, expert hand-to-hand combatant, wields a collapsible baton.
- Weaknesses: Wide-Eyed Idealist, and too quick to think the best of others: Mai and her friends easily manipulate her into letting them get closer to the Flock's secrets. Her Glory Hound personality makes it difficult to stand up for herself, as she doesn't want to risk making the people she wants to admire her angry with her. By the time she builds up the courage to call her grandfather out on his stubbornness, the Flock is FUBAR.
- Goals: To help her grandfather enact the Flock's goals of a worldwide theocracy. When Phillips snaps and tries to destroy the world, Colette finally turns on him, remaining loyal to their original plans.
- Motivation: To feel useful, admired and loved.
- Role in the story: The first Flock member the girls ally with, with her forming an almost big sister relationship with Nanami Oda. She's genuinely hurt when it turns out that the girls used her to get closer to the Flock and learn their dark secrets. After the wheels completely come off Phillips's plan, Colette defects and tries to take the Server for her own, in order to keep fighting for the Flock's ideal world in her own way.
- Backstory: Phillips's granddaughter and a member of his congregation. Managed to show enough aptitude to become a lieutenant when the Flock was formed.
- Relevant Tropes:
- Affably Evil: Downplayed: when around her enemies, she's appropriately cold and scornful. Otherwise, she's cheerful, friendly and personable, even to the people the Flock is screwing over. It's likely it hasn't registered that she's ultimately complicint in their plight, and thus she sees no reason to be pointlessly mean to them.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Colette initially presents herself as a friendly ally to the girls (and to an extent she is genuinely nice and actually likes the girls), but at the end of the day she's a member of a terrorist organization and by extension the cause of the girls' troubles to begin with. When she turns on her grandfather for his genocidal designs, she still makes it clear she hasn't given up on the Flock's goals to create a worldwide theocracy by threatening demon outbreaks and lying to everybody, and that her grandfather's just going too far for her. Tomohisa accurately points out that in all the time they were talking, she showed no remorse for what she and the Flock had done.
- Dark Action Girl: Not only does Colette wield one of the Four Archangels, she's a master with her collapsible baton. She's never beaten in combat outright in the story, managing to hold her own and then escape from her significantly stronger grandfather, and then defeating Naito, Tomohisa and Bishamonten at once.
- Despair Event Horizon: Lucifer's "The Reason You Suck" Speech utterly breaks her spirit, leaving her completely without the will to fight.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Turns on her grandfather when he reveals his intentions to slaughter everyone in Kazamino.
- Mad Scientist's Beautiful Daughter: Or in this case, Mad Fundie's Plain-Looking Granddaughter. While Colette initially served the Flock without question, she called her grandfather out on Day 4 after her tangle with Matador, due to his stubborn insistence on keeping up the act, while the truth is that the Flock's lost control of the situation and people are dying left and right. Phillips shouts her down, though, and she convinces herself that he knows what he's doing. Ultimately, it's shown that her loyalty to the Flock far outweighs any goodness in her heart, making her Daddy's Little Villain instead, though she turns on Phillips when he goes insane with the intent to follow the Flock's mission on her own.
- Not What I Signed on For: Colette turns on her grandfather when he reveals his intentions to use the angels to annihilate Kazamino to make an example of it.
Colette: We didn't sign up... to butcher the innocent!- Token Good Teammate: Deconstructed: No matter how nice you might be, if you're a member of a freaking terrorist group you'll be lumped in with the worst of them by the people your organization victimizes, whether you hold ill will toward them or not. Lucifer accurately points out that Colette being a fundamentally decent person at heart just makes her actions worse. After all, if you have a decent personality and a working conscience, it takes a particular brand of evil to willingly disregard them and commit the Flock's brand of atrocities. If anything, the disparity makes it worse, and people will likely consider you just as despicable as the rest of your team, if not more so.
- The Unfought: Despite how personal her animosity with the girls becomes, they never come to blows in the story: by the time a confrontation seems inevitable, the Flock's already lost, and Lucifer's "The Reason You Suck" Speech utterly breaks her spirit, leaving her unable to fight.
Edited by krimzonflygon2 on Apr 8th 2019 at 5:04:48 AM
I really like Colette's character. She feels very human, but you don't allow her the excuse of being a Token Good Teammate and I think that's a really good idea. If I had to make one criticism, it's that the ending of her story feels slightly anti-climatic; her being defeated by Lucifer rather than the protagonists she's built up animosity with feels like a misstep. But other than, I think it's great.
- Name:** Rodger Beau Purkiss Junior
- Age:** Twenty-six
- Personality:** Rodger will usually introduce himself to strangers by stumbling, stuttering, and mumbling his way through a terrible joke- if said joke is met with disdain, he will become very passive-aggressive; if our hypothetical stranger doesn't deescalate the situation, he will then step up to plain "aggressive-aggressive" and try to beat the shit out of them. This applies to all except Buster Ewart, to whom he is an Extreme Doormat and will take no end of verbal abuse from.
- Abilities:** A lot of upper-body strength and a Knife Nut who can easily win fights against most due to his sheer size and strength. Knows an inexplicable amount of knowledge about the Third Torrenese Empire.
- Weaknesses:** Easily provoked to anger, very insecure, has little in the way of either street or book smarts.
Goals: Assist Ewart and the rest of Kerr's squad succeed in assisting Firebrand's fascist military coup.
Motivation: I Just Want to Have Friends
Role in the story: Along with Ewart, Kidd, Kerr, and Vicks, he's one of Firebrand's goons.
Backstory: Having survived the Calamity, he grew up raised by his father, Rodger B. Purkiss Senior. His father, while not physically abusive, was not very close to him and frequently sent him out in the early morning to shovel snow in winter, pocketing most of the proceeds himself. This lead to young Rodger idolizing his Missing Mom and devoting a familiar version of Loving a Shadow towards her. Owing to his general social awkwardness and lack of a real upbringing, Rodger would spend his schooldays acting out for attention, frequently engaging in such hilarities as "lying down on the floor and pretending to be dead in front of the entire class", "Flailing his hands and arms randomly in front of the entire class", and the perennial classic "screaming words at complete random in front of the entire class". As he got older, he slowly realizes that the rest of his class weren't laughing with him, they were laughing at him. Unable to accept this, Rodger entered his adulthood having genuinely convinced himself he was funny and witty, thus leading to such anger when this delusion of acceptance is threatened. Upon reaching majority age, he took whatever savings he had and left to track down his mother. He never saw his father again, who would drink himself to death within the year. After months of searching, he finally found her: a local woman named Shelia Blissett. Rodger already knew her as a woman who helped out with the local church fete and knew her as a friendly, if unremarkable, woman. This utterly broke Rodger, having expected a perfect mother who would instantly solve all his problems. He drifted for a few years, never staying in one place for very long, before finally joining the ABC Marine Corps out of a desperation to get off the streets. He fought during the Tyranny and developed a hatred of the enemy Gikani- not out of any particular reason except to make him feel better about himself. During this time, he met Buster Ewart, who both laughed at his jokes and became possibly his first real friend. Of course, after this had gone on for a few days, Ewart then ordered him to beat up some Army Lads who he'd cheated at poker with and were now out for vengence. Rather than accept that his "friend" was using them, Rodger once again deluded himself and beat the army lads up. Three weeks later, he got into an altercation with a Gikani with the anglicized name of Joseph Harwood at his local bar and literally decapitated him with a machete. After his arrested, he gained the interest of Firebrand and his officers; His extreme strength and submissive personality made him a perfect recruit for Liutenant Kerr, and was quickly transferred to his squad alongside Ewart. The prospect of acceptance and being a part of something larger made him eager to accept Kerr's offer of taking part in the coup.
Relevant Tropes:
- But for Me, It Was Tuesday: He hardly remembers his murder of Joe Harwood; Ryan Harwood, his brother, has a rather different memory.
- Conservation of Ninjutsu: Easily deals with three escaped prisoners in one-on-three combat but loses against a solitary Ryan Harwood. In fairness, Harwood does manage to exploit his Fatal Flaw.
- Cold-Blooded Torture: After Ryan fatally wounded him and crushes him between a bust of Damien Gould, he takes out Rodger's machete and tells him that this will hurt a lot...but when we next cut back to him, Ryan is desperately trying to save Rodger's life, now in tears saying that he doesn't want to die.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Possibly inspired by his guilt over killing Melkonis, he's the first of Kerr's squad to speak up against Gilchrist killing the Swann twins.
- Extreme Doormat: To Ewart.
- Fantastic Racism: Against the Gikani, a trait he finally sheds as he lays dying.
- Fatal Flaw: His uncontronable temper, which he loses after Harwood insults him repeatedly. This allows the latter to easily gain the upper hand and crush him with a bust of Damien Gould.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: Harwood stabs him with his own machete.
- I Just Want to Have Friends: All he's ever really wanted is acceptance. He finally gets it as he lays dying and Ryan Harwood holds his hand and says they were, however briefly, friends.
- Knife Nut: Carries a machete for close encounters. Uses it to open up Jack Castillo's thigh during a bar fight and send him to hospital.
- Loving a Shadow: Non-romantic versions with his mother and Buster Ewart.
- My God, What Have I Done?: Expresses utter hatred of Alan Melkonis for saying his jokes are shit, but once he's killed him he's unable to think of anything except Alan's Pet the Dog moments. He frequently tries to reaffirm what a terrible person Alan was to everybody else in Kerr's squad, to limited results.
- Not Good with Rejection: Furious whenever anybody doesn't like his jokes.
- Off with His Head!: The fate of Joseph Harwood and Alan Melkonis.
- Shotguns Are Just Better: His primary weapon.
- Slashed Throat: How he finishes off Tommys in the Checkpoint Fight.
- The Big Guy: Six foot five and full of muscles.
- Toxic Friend Influence: Buster Ewart stokes his insecurity to keep him on his side.
- Undying Loyalty: Will defend Ewart on any issue, towards anyone. Later deconstructed, as it's clear this is so he can maintain the delusion of Ewart being perfect and thus justify his devotion to him.
- Unknown Rival: He hardly knows who Ryan Harwood is, but he hates him regardless because he's both Army and Gikani.
- Villain's Dying Grace: After sustaining a fatal would, he recants all his sins and asks for Ryan's forgiveness for all the wrong he's done.
- Would Hit a Girl: Blows Kennrys away during the Checkpoint Battle.
- Your Mom: Frequently the butt of these jokes, usually in the form of "Purkiss? Is that what your mom charged?" Of course, given his idolization of his mother, this frequently results in anger- and in Joe Harwood's case, death.
Edited by Bennings on Apr 16th 2019 at 2:32:47 PM
I like Rodger's character and I find him rather believable given his circumstances in the military. I also like his I Just Want to Have Friends motivation.
- Name: Ennui
- Age: Immortal (deity) but is in several pieces...
- Rank: A deposed Nature Goddess
- Creator of: Starwolves, the planet itself
- Currently: Teaching at a university the art of making tea...
- Arch-rivals: Kotone and Felicia
- Acrofatic: Is surprisingly agile in battle
- Animal Motifs: Tigeress
- Big Beautiful Woman: A brunette.
- Cope by Creating: How she deals with most things.
- Creepy Shadowed Undereyes: Her main appearance, along with her bright golden eyes.
- Dual Wielding: Her two swords, one blue and one red
- Dissonant Serenity:
- Evil Brit: Her main accent
- Evil Is Hammy:
- Evil God:
- Evilutionary Biologist: What she does in her actual time
- Fat and Proud: Looks middle-aged.
- Fertile Blood: Her blood can make plants grow from out of nowhere.
- Fourth-Wall Observer: She can even observe the players playing the game...
- Foolish Sibling, Responsible Sibling: Responsible sibling.
- Greater-Scope Villain: Responsible for indirectly creating the Venusians.
- Lack of Empathy: Deliberate.
- Mad Scientist: Has elements of this.
- Mad God: Has her moments
- Meaningful Name:
- Nature Is Not Nice:
- Slasher Smile
- Talking to Plants:
- Secrets: Misako Irwa contains the heart of this goddess, and Akashic contains the mind... Was also thrown out of the Court of the Alien-Gods several times in a row for "defying traditional methods of creation".
Any more questions so far?
Edited by sabrina_diamond on May 4th 2019 at 8:04:11 PM
In an anime, I'll be the Tsundere Dark Magical Girl who likes purple MY own profile is actually HERE!
There's a certain rule on this thread - before you post your character, you need to write the critique of the previous character. The same applies to Hero and Neutral Character Critique threads.
I will become a great writer one day! Hopefully...
@ Sabrina
Definitely needs more text. Ennui has potential, that much is certain, but there are way too many Zero Context Examples under her name at the moment. What is her history? Her motivations? Strengths? Weaknesses? Who the heck is Kotone?
She definitely needs to be filled out more before I can actually make a judgement of her character.
Anyhoo...here's a villain for my Valkyrie Drive: Mermaid story: for a bit of background, it takes place after the anime: Mamori and Mirei have left the island and are going around curing the Armed virus from everyone. They're heroes, their relationship is getting stronger and stronger, and despite the odd SOLDIER sent by The Organization to try to stop them, everything seems hunky-dory...
And then Ensiferum shows up.
Ever wonder why Extars and Liberators haven't taken over the world yet? It's 'cause of these guys. They quickly supplant The Organization as the main threat, and prove to be far more dangerous, even though 90 percent of their forces are completely, totally, 100 percent human.
And they are lead by a man with the callsign 'Odin': Commander Theodore Bankwell.
- Name: Theodore Bankwell
- Age: 49
- Personality: Honestly, calling him 'paranoid' or 'bigoted' or 'cynical' is underselling it. He is paranoia. He is bigotry and cynicism, and it spreads like a virus wherever he goes. Under his command, Ensiferum is a corrupting force, shattering any hope of peaceful resolution and leaving only the possibility of violence and hate.
- Abilities: Master hand-to-hand combatant: most of the Liberators he hunts are quick enough to dodge bullets, meaning guns are all but useless. As someone like Kasumi "Zero Arm" Shigure proved, however, a normal human can train to match an Arm-wielding Liberator. Bankwell kills 3rd Gen SOLDIERs, that is to say people like Momoka Sagara, the Big Bad of the anime, with his bare hands.
- Weaknesses: Physically, he's a peak-performance human. He may be Made of Iron, but pump enough bullets into him, bleed him out, blow him up, he'll die. Mentally, his rock-bottom opinion of humanity makes it impossible to see kindness coming, and his temper problem makes him vulnerable to being lured into a trap.
- Goals: The status quo must be maintained: the infected must not be cured, and must be sent safely to the artificial islands, and there must always be new infected. To that end, the biggest threat to the Armed virus must be destroyed: Mamori Tokonome and Mirei Shikishima must die.
- Motivation: His belief that trying to re-integrate those who had been infected with the Armed virus will only cause racism and hate crimes to flare up: separatism is better as far as he's concerned.
- Role in the story: Big Bad.
- Backstory: A former Marine whose squad was almost obliterated by a single SOLDIER: he lost half his men before they managed to kill her, and then nearly lost the other half when the SOLDIER's Extar changed back and attacked them herself. His fear of the Super-Soldier he had faced and fascination with her power ultimately came to define him: he began to obsess over the Armed virus, realizing that the existence of Liberators and Extars would ultimately come to redefine society, and his own cynicism made it impossible for him to consider coexistence. There was only one possible outcome if coexistence with these new lifeforms was attempted: hate, violence and chaos. It was his duty to make sure peace was maintained, no matter how many wars he had to wage to do so.
- Relevant Tropes:
- Ax-Crazy: Bankwell may appear ever-calm on the surface, but one look at his eyes makes it clear that he's most certainly not: his stoicism is a shallow mask, born from just barely managing to repress the psychotic hatred he near-constantly feels for everyone and everything. The first time Mirei tries to meet his gaze dead-on, she's hit by a sudden vision of her own mangled corpse and freezes up. His glare is that venomous.
- Badass Normal: Akira is a skilled boxer even without her Arms powers, and Kasumi is still deserving of the nickname 'Zero Arm', but Bankwell is even more skilled, though: breaking Akira's arm and leg, wrenching her to the ground, and then knocking her out with a stomp to the back of the head faster than Kasumi could even track. He later goes toe-to-toe with Mirei in hand-to-hand combat (over and over and over again...), and though battling her while she's wielding Mamori goes far worse for him he still refuses to stay down, and actually manages to wear her down through sheer tenacity to the point the fight devolves to the two of them barely-conscious, taking turns slugging each other and forcing themselves to stay on their feet.
- Badass Moustache: Bankwell sports a magnificent handlebar moustache, and he's badass enough to beat the living daylights out of an Arm-wielding Mirei with his bare hands.
- Balls of Steel: As an unfortunate Mirei learns: she slams a devastating kick into his groin and his face twists with...fury. He grabs her by the tie without missing a beat and pummels her face until she sees four of him.
- Charles Atlas Superpower: For the majority of the story, Bankwell is an entirely normal human. Using nothing but his fists and feet with obscene levels of endurance and strength backing them up, he kills Gen 3 SOLDIERs. As in, people on the level of Momoka, D5 and E3, and more than one. As a member of Ensiferum, it's his JOB.
- Establishing Character Moment: Bankwell establishes what kind of person he is with his very first line as he and Ensiferum go to break up a protest of Arms sympathizers.
- Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: Bankwell simply cannot for the life of him believe that those who were infected with Arms and cured will ever truly be accepted back into society. When presented with evidence, he just gets angry.
- Evil Counterpart: Bankwell to Mirei: for the former, they are both warriors with Dark And Troubled Pasts, both stoic Determinators, both demonstrating inhuman physical abilities and lack of care for their own safety as long as they're fighting for their goal...but while Mirei's stoicism belies a tender heart and her actions are driven by The Power of Love for Mamori, Bankwell's is a fragile mask: he is in a perpetual state of suppressed, volcanic rage and hate that he only just barely keeps in check at best of times, and he doesn't care for the safety of others either.
- Good Scars, Evil Scars: An evil one across his nose and right cheek, thanks to the SOLDIER that attacked his squad. He later loses his left eye to Mirei, and is given an appropriate gash over it.
- Hope Crusher: Rather than doing it For the Evulz, he genuinely believes crushing false hope for the Arms-infected and non-infected getting along is a kindness.
- Humans Are Bastards: Bankwell is a firm believer in this; he doesn't even want to try to reintegrate the formerly-infected back into normal society for fear of Fantastic Racism.
- "It" Is Dehumanizing: Refers to SOLDIERS not as 'her' or 'she', but as 'It'. This even extends to Momoka, who works with him of her own will, and when she protests in annoyance, he shoots her a Death Glare and calmly reaffirms himself.
- Insane Troll Logic: The Arms virus can't be wiped out, because there will always be those who fear and despise those who were infected, and those who are paranoid that the virus isn't gone. The result will be bigotry and war. The only possible solution, therefore, is to actively infect people and ship them off to the islands, thereby proving that Ensiferum is ever on the case, keeping people safe in their beds as they valiantly send their little girls to quarantine zones and having shootouts with Liberators and Extars that leave hundreds of bodies in their wake.
- Knight of Cerebus: Terrifying as Momoka was, her menace was still undercut by the honestly-distracting fanservice involving her. Bankwell doesn't even have that going for him: he's a deadly-serious soldier, and while he's not as cackling and over-the-top as her, he's still the most dangerous character in the story.
- Motive Rant: Bankwell breaks down screaming at Mirei about how he's pushing for segregation because if he doesn't, innocent people who used to be Extars and Liberators will be horribly mistreated, and that Mirei and Mamori are dangerous because they're feeding people false hope: their talk about coexistence is dangerous because it's tempting and at the same time impossible. As far as he's concerned, they're luring people into a trap.
- Silly Rabbit, Idealism Is for Kids!: Bankwell in spades.
- Suppressed Rage: Imagine a huge metal tanker filled with a highly explosive material. Now imagine the tanker is constantly rattling, creaking, spewing smoke and sparks, and letting off an aura of singular, overpowering dread: if you step wrong around it, send the wrong vibration through the ground, it will explode in an instant and level everything and everyone around it. Heck, even that wouldn't be needed necessarily: the thing could just go at any time. That's Bankwell: the man is insanely, murderously angry all the time, and his efforts to keep himself from lashing out at in a frothing rage only serve to underline how unstable he is.
- The Unfettered: Bankwell has absolutely no limits. No matter how repugnant it is, he will take any action to see his goal through to the end. In a variation of this trope, he takes no joy in his actions, reveals that he has no illusions about what a horrible person he is and regrets a lot of the things he ends up doing, but feels he can't limit himself if he wants to win: every line someone refuses to cross is a weakness that can be exploited. It helps that his reputation as a man willing to cross any line often keeps people from messing with him.
Akira: You're a monster!
Bankwell: I'm a monster so that others don't have to be. - Would Hurt a Child: Most people infected with the Arms Virus are women in their early to late teens, so Ensiferum counts on principle. Bankwell is on a different level: he's willing to go hand-to-hand with Akira and company, who for the most part have all been cured of Arms, and he drives the point home with a visceral fighting style.
Edited by krimzonflygon2 on Aug 7th 2019 at 5:10:43 AM
I awoke in a sweat from the American Dream
Bankwell's great. I like how you can almost see where he's coming from in regards to his motivations, but he's still irredeemable. He's also a Badass Normal who can win against people with superpowers, which is always something I like. Also his line under Establishing Character Moment is badass.
Edited by SinNanna on Jun 11th 2019 at 3:31:06 PM
"...always on the verge of death, yet repeatedly baffling Christendom by continuing to live."
The Master Of Fright & A Demon Of Light
There are the vilains and antagonists of my book set in World War Two. Everybody's pretty fucked up in there. The book is still in the draft stage. I think the characters are better than some of the explanations sound.
Saskia Gwerder:
- Occupation: Gestapo infiltrator
- Appearance: Brown-haired and blue eyed. Wears a dark blue dress, with a knitted flower pin that's propably supposed to be a rose.
- Personality: A psychotic sociopath who gets her kicks from blood and fire, she uses the nazi ideology as an excuse to do anything she wants without getting punished. Despite this, she can look normal and get close to her victims without them realizing what she really is until it's too late. After the dust settles and her work is mostly already done, she loses her outlet and grows more and more unstable.
- Backstory: A Gestapo agent known as The Hornet, it's her job to look for resistances, infiltrate them, and tear them apart from the inside and she has gotten many good people killed in everywhere from Vienna to Paris. She was lovers with Jochen (The Hero) when they were young, but doesn't care about him anymore.
- The Dreaded: People rarely dare to speak about The Hornet out of the fear of her feeling insulted. Due to her skills, even her superiors are paranoid about her.
- Code Name: The Hornet (Der Hornisse).
- Master of Disguise: Her skills nearly defy the laws of physics and common sense. She prefers making up characters to impersonating real people, but is just as cabable of that.
- Flower Motifs: Roses.
- Foil: To Schmidt/Hummel. This also reflects on their aliases, "Hornisse" meaning 'Hornet' and "Hummel" meaning 'bee'.
Gunther von Horn:
- Occupation: Bodyguard
- Appearance: Blonde and blue-eyed. Muscular and generally tough-looking. Eerily empty eyes and expressionless face. Despite fighting a lot, he has no scars.
- Personality: Von Horn is rather young and grew up on propaganda, taking in everything like a sponge. He doesn't see himself or the nazi party as evil, and Johann pities him, if only a bit. Later he starts to realize how wrong he is, but clings to the shreds of these lies even in death.
- Backstory: Hitler's brainwashed bodyguard and one of the child soldiers. He's rumored to have supernatural abilities. As the story progresses, he sees and hears things that were kept from him in order to ensure his loyalty, and realizes who really are evil. He's scared of/unable to imagine a life without the war and the lies he was raised on, and kills himself during the battle of Berlin by charging at a Russian tank when the other troops run away.
- Child Soldier: Because of his rumored supernatural abilities.
- Made of Iron: Can take a lot of punishment without showing pain.
- Feel No Pain: Either he has Super-Toughness or a rare condition. Most people have never heard of the latter and think he has supernatural powers.
- Bodyguard Betrayal: Shoots hitler during the battle of Berlin.
- Brainwashed and Crazy
- Suicide by Cop: After shooting Hitler, Von Horn walks out of the bunker and charges towards a Soviet tank, unarmed.
Moritz Brenne:
- Occupation: SS officer (i'm unsure about the exact rank)
- Appearance: Ghostly pale, with dark blonde hair and greenish blue eyes. Holds a great likeness to his brother Johann (The Hero), but doesn't have albinism like Johann does. Only wears upperclass clothes and uniforms.
- Personality: A manipulating sociopath with murderous tendencies over seemingly pointless things, such as a subordinate snoring too loud or an acquitance "upsetting" him in some invisible way. He has always manipulated Johann and seen him as an obstacle to get rid of on his way to history. Spoiled, but can charm his superiors and equals with his expertise in social skills, and wears a metaphrorical disguise of a sophisticated gentleman, but this disguise sometimes slips. The final nail in the coffin is when the realization that he felt lust towards Wolfgang Geier, a man, sends him into a spiral of insanity that culminates in a murder-suicide.
- Backstory: Johann's little brother who saw the nazis as a handy way to get rid of Johann, who was born with albinism, and thus was on the nazi's kill list already. Johann had already been disowned by their parents due to his condition, but Moritz still saw him as a threat as he still technically had a claim to the status and fortune due being the eldest son. Moritz has an interest in occult and used to be a member of Thule Society before Hitler dissolved it, and is now in the inner circle, whispering in Hitler's ear and intending to some day overthrow him and have the new empire for himself.
- Aristocrats Are Evil: Wants to kill his own brother over which one of the two will inherit their father's title and money.
- TheSociopath
- Sanity Slippage: After he realizes he's gay.
- Depraved Homosexual: Downplayed? Averted? His villainy isn't sexually motivated until he realizes he's gay, and decides it's Geier's fault.
Wolfgang Geier:
- Occupation: A Luftwaffe officer stationed near Berlin.
- Appearance: An old man. Red haired and dark-eyed. His right eye is damaged and possibly blind, he wears an eyepatch over it. The pinky finger of his left hand is missing, and the whole arm is heavily scarred. He claims a rat ate the finger in a trench, but an explosion is more likely. When high, his remaining eye dilates to an uncanny extent.
- Personality: Doesn't really believe in nazism, but doesn't oppose it in any way either, as he has enough common sense to know that rising against a regime alone is never a good idea. He notices how Moritz Brenne looks at him, but is too scared of him to make any public accusations and hopes he'll just stop. He misses the imperial Germany and the general stability, daydreaming of an Europe at peace. He seeks comfort from propaganda's lies, and, deppressed over his own cowardice and allowing the atrocities to happen, turns to drugs. When high, whatever the hell he's currently taking anyway, he goes nuts, swinging between three extreme moods; Creepy and robotic, angry, and an manic.
- Backstory: A haunted Austrian World War One veteran, he was forced to join Luftwaffe after Anschluss. Having already gained a morphine addiction in the trenches, he tries to soothe his pains and dissappointments towards the state of the world with drugs. He experiences serious withdrawal symptoms, but desperately tries to hide them. Eventually the resistance learns of it and starts blackmailing him. During the battle of Berlin, he's shot by the crazed Moritz Brenne so that they would die together.
- Old Soldier: A World War One veteran.
- Nice Hat: A pickelhaube he keeps on his table.
- Eye Scream: He never talks about what happened to his eye, but he mentions having been a stormtrooper.
Marius Dunkel:
- Occupation: Hitler's right-hand man and enforcer.
- Appearance: Slicked back black hair. Black-looking eyes, the left one permanently dilated due to a childhood accident. A few scars along the right arm.
- Personality: His whole life in the midst of chaos and anarchy has made him a paranoid control freak who thinks only absolute control over everything can keep the world safe and secure, but he's not particularly mad, sadistic, or racist, though he doesn't care at all about people he does not know. The only reason he joined the nazis was because he thought they would restore the order and stability. He generally thinks of himself as a good man who does what he must, even though he obviously isn't. He has used Jochen for the most of his life, but expressed dissappointment when Jochen, who he had apparently considered a "friend", didn't come with him to join SA when they were teens. He hates the death camps, but believes the citizens will only stay united as long as they think they have a common enemy, and thus doesn't want to save those people.
- Backstory: A former friend of Jochen's from one of the orphanages he lived in, Marius always gave his everything to maintain order and stay in control. When he was an adult, he joined SA and urged Jochen to help him assassinate Hitler. Jochen eventually joined Marius, but when he was in the room and about to pull the trigger, Marius turned against Jochen and almost got him killed, having only used him in order to worm into Hitler's inner circle. Marius however claimed he regretted "having" to use Jochen like that. Marius eventually became Hitler's right-hand man, planning to ensure his status as Hitler's successor so that he could finally create an orderly world. After hitler is assassinated, Marius fights with the other higher-ups over who will become the next chancellor, and wins after having the others shot. Dunkel can't stop the reich from falling apart and the soviet army from closing in, and when Jochen and Johann come to kill him, he tries to explain himself and doesn't think Jochen really would shoot him. Jochen gives the gun to Johann, who does.
- Control Freak: Defined by his belief that only absolute control can bring peace and order.
- Visionary Villain: Thinks he can give the world peace and order.
- The Unfettered: Dunkel believes peace and stability can only be maintained thought totalitarian control, and he will do anything to make sure his dark utopia will come to be.
- Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Grew up with Jochen and still seems to care about him. When he finds old documents saying Jochen's biological parents were jewish (Nobody knew (Not even Jochen) because Jochen had lived in an orphanage almost since his birth), he burns the documents because he still wants to protect Jochen despite knowing that Jochen is out to kill him after his betrayal.
- Clocks of Control: Collects clocks, and his house is full of them.
Sieger Schmidt / Alois Hummel:
- Occupation: Gestapo officer.
- Appearance: Short and sturdy. Dark brown hair, undescriped type of a mustache, and dark eyes. As Schmidt, he always wears the uniform. As Hummel, he wears an ugly yellow coat.
- Personality: Originally a loyal Gestapo officer, he followed the orders with no questions, but never was particularly sadistic. He believed in their own supposed righteousness and saw the world in black and white, having a breakdown when he realized he had been wrong about everything.
- Backstory: He starts his character arc as a loyal Gestapo officer, but his eyes slowly start opening to the truth. First he's in desperation and denial, carried on through everything by blind obedience, but knows he has to do something. He tries to atone by using his rank to help invidual people escape, but the sabotages Jochen and Johann (The story's heroes) do tighten the noose around the whole underground. With the increasing amount of checkpoints and surveillance, his operations under a false name are endangered, and he feels the common good of the war ending faster cannot override the saving of invidual lives, which befalls to him as everybody else is focused in the matters of greater scope. In his real identity, he relentlessly pursues the underground, hoping to get them to at least decrease their activities. Near the end of the story, he almost gets executed by The Allies, but three of the people he saved as Alois Hummel speak for him, thinking he never really was a nazi, and he is released. When he leaves the court, he wonders if he should take this second chance or "execute" himself.
- Split Personality: Not really, but almost. He considers Alois and Sieger different people and acts in accordance with this even if alone and refers to "Schmidt" and "Hummel" separately in his thoughts, though it might be more of an attempt at disassociation.
- The Atoner
- Living a Double Life: There is no living person that can draw a connection between Sieger Schmidt and Alois Hummel, not even his allies in the underground.
- Animal Motifs: Dogs.
- Villainous Breakdown: He loses it so badly and drinks so much he hallucinates the ghosts of people he has killed, compelling him to try committing suicide.
- Interrupted Suicide: In the above scene, he brings his dagger on his throat, but one of his subordinates barges in to inform him of the assassination attempt on a high-ranked officer. The sudden disturbance makes the hallucinations dissappear and Schmidt scrapes himself together.
- Wham Line: The narration doesn't reveal that Schmidt and Hummel are the same person until after several chapters.
The narration: Alois Hummel might not be able to put an end to their activities, but Sieger Schmidt of the Gestapo would surely find a way.
Kaisermann:
- Occupation: A spy.
- Appearance: Curly blonde hair. Green eyes. Scars on the throat covered with a scarf. Also scars on the back and wrist. A swastika scar on the left cheek carved by his former comrades.
- Personality: He's lost and scared, tossed in a world he doesn't want to live in. He knows he should try doing something about his fate, but is too afraid to try anything, as Dunkel is hanging his life on a string. Kaisermann has already given up on himself and is drifting deeper, forced to do more and more evil things to survive. He wears so many masks it's hard for others to know who he really is, and he feels his true face has already been erased.
- Backstory: A member of one of the communist groups who had street fights with the nazis during the Weimar Republic. Most of his comrades died in Dachau, but Kaiserman survived until the political prisoners were temporarily fred and started spying for The Allies. He later becomes a double agent, as he was betrayed by one of the "good guys" but killed him first, selling the secret as a revenge. He continued this, until Marius Dunkel's minions were hot on his tracks. He managed to hold his own for years, until giving up and offering his information, and ends up figuratively "selling his soul" to Dunkel to maintain his own life and freedom. He was attacked in the street by three of his former comrades, who refused to listen to him and carved the scar on his face.
- Unfortunate Name: Kaisermann goes by "Kaisermann" bacause his first name is Adolf.
- Good Scars, Evil Scars: Played for Drama. He has a swastika scar on his cheek. It was carved by one of his former friends who thought Kaisermann had changed sides, when he didn't really have any choice.
- Green Eyes: Makes him easy to identify because of the color's rarity.
- Planning for the Future Before the End: When arrested by Gestapo and left alone in a room for the night, he ponders what he'll change his first name to after Allied victory, eventually deciding on Karl (after Karl Marx). Subverted in that he doesn't die.
- Driven to Suicide: Haunted by Survivor's Guilt and the fact that he has helped Gestapo, he walks into the river, drowning himself. Schmidt finds his Suicide Note and has his final epiphany.
Edited by Nukeli on Feb 13th 2020 at 7:19:00 PM
~ * Bleh * ~ (Looking for a russian-speaker to consult about names and words for a thing)
The Master Of Fright & A Demon Of Light
bumping because i need opinions
Edited by Nukeli on Jun 25th 2019 at 11:22:25 AM
~ * Bleh * ~ (Looking for a russian-speaker to consult about names and words for a thing)
It's a policy to offer critique on the preceding entry before adding an entry of your own.
Outside-Context Problem The Dragon? That's not the combination you see everyday. I admit, that I like how she can weaponize music and is Immune to Fate. Her weaknesses, being lack of resources, allies and not being accustomed to the modern world looks logical. But, does she have any weaknesses that can be exploited during combat? Like for example having a limit to her music powers?
I find her personality a bit complicating. The part where she looks down on normal people, but mellows down when faced with someone pitiful enough to deserve empathy? Isn't this kinda contradictory?
Last question regarding Melody. Is she technically stuck in Alternate Timeline? Because of Obsidian, her empire never existed and many other things changed, so it can count.
Overall, Melody has potential. But, I would advice working on her a bit more. And, you work a bit on writing pages here on TV Tropes. Melody's page is bit of a mess. The second part I mean. I mean no disrespect by the way.
Anyway, instead of presenting a new villain, I'm doing a small rework of one of my previous baddie I presented on this forum. The supposed Big Bad of my Trapped in Another World story, the sorcerer Kane. I'm doing a small Retcon of his original nationality, expanding his backstory and list of relevant tropes.
In addition to his mastery over magic, his armor makes him almost impervious to physical damage and very resistant to magic damage. While he's not a skilled swordsman, he can still defend himself quite well.
Additionally, Kane is not very fast. Not only his armor weights a lot, he also has a prosthetic leg after one of his adversaries cut it off during an ambush. He can only alleviate his armor's wight with his magic.
Kane thought Avel and Vareesa could have been perfect allies in ending the corruption of Firanian royal family. But, they ended up betraying him after he discovered he could transmute gold. When he heard of his new ability, Halcyon ordered Avel and Vareesa to imprison Kane in a dungeon, where he would keep making gold until his dying breath. His former friends, blindly obedient to the king, arrested him without question.
Kane spend nearly a year in the royal dungeon, making gold for the king. During that time, his hatred towards Halcyon and entirety of Firana's royal family and nobility kept him sane and alive. He would have his revenge on them once he escapes his prison. As if by stroke of luck, a group of Dark Elves broke into the dungeon to save their brethren. Once Vala, the leader of rescue team, listened to Kane's plight and showed her his ability to transmute gold, she freed him from his magic-nullifying chains and offered him a refuge in Dark Elf Empire. He accepted her offer. But, before he could join her, Kane had to do one small job. He stole a very precious thing from Halcyon as a recompense for all the suffering he put him through - a Golden Apple of Iduun. These apples when eaten can halt aging process.
After escaping the capitol, Kane traveled with Vala to the Dragon Isles - the home of Dark Elf Empire. After he revealed his role as Ranal's chosen hero and his magical talents to the empress Salaza, Kane was offered a place in her court and was promised to be treated with care and respect. Having no nothing else to lose, he accepted the offer.
Only few people in Firana know the truth about Kane. And, they are doing everything they can to suppress that truth.
And, here we go. Kane's small rework. Next time, either I'll rework Sorin, The Heavy for my Shin Megami Tensei / Highschool Dx D crossover or a bad guy for my Superhero/Thriller book. I will become a great writer one day! Hopefully...