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275: Marville # 6 & 7
- To mock #6 for being basically a clip show, the episode is cut through with clips from previous reviews.Linkara: Say, that reference I made to 22 Brides reminds me of my review of 22 Brides.
Past Linkara: This comic sucks!
Linkara: There was a deeper meaning I was trying to convey when I reviewed 22 Brides. Namely that 22 Brides sucked.
- The above clip is introduced in an incredibly blatant flashback setup, complete with flashback harp.
- Instead of recapping the previous issues, Linkara recaps Battle for Bludhaven.
- When Al explains why his parents didn't go with him back in time:Editor: What is this, a Superman re-make? It will never sell. You can't just go changing a legend. Super hero origins are sacred— ask any fan.
Linkara: AH HA HA HA HA HA. HAAA. HAAA. FUNNY.
- When the in-universe editor Al is pitching the story to proclaims that he's never heard a less interesting description of a comic book, Linkara cracks that the entire conversation is probably a duplicate of Bill Jemas's original pitch for Marville.
- "Those stupid archaeologists, with their stupid degrees and their actual science! They know nothing! Whereas I, a comic book writer, know more than they do!
- This interjection:Al: Will you publish my story?
Editor: Well, I like it, personally—
- Another use of "Jurassic Park" instead of "Jurassic period" prompts Linkara to freak out and begin screaming "EEEEEND!" at the comic...followed by a Combine Harvester breakdown made up from scenes from previous Combine Harvester breakdowns cut together.Linkara: Ah, that was relaxing. Looking at old clips of my insanity is far more entertaining than anything these characters have said so far.
- "Come on, we didn't like these scenes the first time!"
- Listing Bill Jemas's credentials in history and philosophy, then demanding to know how he could be so ignorant in all of the subjects he studied.
- At one point, the editor says something in the comic "sounds historically accurate". Linkara just glares at the comic and actually flips it off.
- The Stinger: Linkara apologizes for not burning the comic (he's on his way to Magfest), and then declares that he will eventually review the best-known Epic Comics story, Trouble. (That's the one which claimed that Aunt May was Peter's actual mother.)
- Reacting to the idea that superheroes should be taken overly seriously.
276: Comic Book Quickies # 2
- At the end of the Fantastic Four quickie:Franklin: Wow! You guys were great! You saved us!
Human Torch: But you were even smarter, Franklin.
Franklin: Yeah, I saved my HOSTESS Fruit Pies!
Linkara (as Franklin): With them, I can make you all perform my bidding. OBEY WITHOUT QUESTION, FOR I HAVE THE FRUIT PIIIIIIIEEEES!!
- The Super Dictionary excerpt "Mouth" after the commercial break:That Guy with the Hat: Batgirl is trapped in the giant animal's mouth. She is trapped in the part of its body that takes in food. (looks up from book) People have mouths too, Batgirl. YELL FOR HELP! (calmly) And now we're back.
- The intro to the Captain Mar-Vell Twinkies comic.Bystander: Good grief! It's the giant flea-market-eating flea!
Another Bystander: He devoured the Englishtown flea market last month...run!
Linkara: What?! I just...context, please! Where the hell did this thing come from? And who the hell would make it to devour flea markets?
(Answer Cut to Linksano laughing maniacally)
- Made even better by the fact that Linkara's first guess is the it's "The World Largest Flea" and judges from a caption box saying that it's "The World's Largest Flea Market" that the comic creators don't know what a flea market is, before finding the real answer is much more, surreal.
- Since the Marvel Universe Captain Marvel hasn't been covered on the show before, Linkara tells us the only thing we need to know about him: He's dead.
277: All Star Batman and Robin # 7
- Crazy Steve singing Here Comes the Sun.
- The scene where Crazy Steve shows Jocko-Boy Vanzetti to Dick Grayson, Age 12, and gives him the option of killing him.Dick Grayson, Age 12: Does he have any family?
Crazy Steve: Nothing human, as far as I know.
Linkara (as Crazy Steve): He's married to a weasel, but he's an ADULTERER, seeing a PRAIRIE DOG, BEHIND THE WEASEL'S BACK!
- "And introducing John Hurt as the War Guy-Getting-Elbowed-In-The-Face."
- Crazy Steve starts punching Mooks while addressing them with increasingly tender nicknames, and of course Linkara runs with it.Linkara (as Crazy Steve): And so's this, lover!
Linkara (as Mook): ... What!?
Linkara (as Crazy Steve): And so's this, cupcake!
Linkara (as Mook): I-I don't think you know what those words mean!
Linkara (as Crazy Steve): And so's this, shnookie-wukkuns!
- And later:Linkara (as Crazy Steve): Shut Up! I'm the Goddamn Batman, sweetheart!
- And later:
- During the introduction, Linkara's Call-Back to how he'll never be as popular as The Bee Gees.
278: Preparedness 101: Zombie Pandemic
- The title card◊. It's a parody of a For Dummies... book, with Linkara angrily pointing at the title, "Zombie Comics For Dummies." Bonus points for the phrase "4th Wall Edition."
- "What are you asking me for? I'm a dog!"
- The dog being named Max leads to a Call-Back that this is where the Grinch left him before joining the rest of his kind to hunt Santa Claus.
- The perfect usage of the Red vs. Blue clip at the beginning.
- His inability to comprehend the lack of stereotypical human villains of a Zombie Apocalypse in the comic.
- The zombie virus is named Z5N1. Linkara chooses to pronounce it the 'l337-speak way', naming it the Zany Zombie Virus.
- "Thanks for the dialogue box telling me they're going down to the basement. I wouldn't have been able to tell that this panel depicted them doing that without it."
- The Stinger:Disclaimer: We hope you enjoyed reading this fictional story. It's meant to be both educational and entertaining. Now that you've seen the importance of being prepared, take the time to put together an emergency kit with the items included in the checklist on the following page. You'll be ready for any kind of disaster, even zombies.
Linkara (as the Disclaimer): In the event that your emergency kit gains sentience and tries to murder you... well, you're outta luck.
Midnight of AT4W Live!
- The timing of the episode's own commercial break.
279: Gameboy # 3
- "Link cables? Where we're going, we don't need... link cables."
- The return of his "Ancient Egypt is evil!" joke.
- Linkara as Mario threatening to beat someone up.
280: US-1 # 3
- After the old man who tells everyone about the Highwayman's past leaves the diner:Linkara: What's more, US runs after him to try to learn more, but he has mysteriously vanished!
(dramatic musical sting plays)
Linkara: What we don't see is that he actually ran to the side of the building to whiz in the bushes because he was too embarrassed to use a public restroom.
- After wondering what a demonic trucker ordering around minions would sound like:Linkara (as Highwayman): Breaker, breaker. I've got a bogey getting in on my front door that I want you to make a signal seven out of, come on back.
281: Youngblood # 6
- It starts with Linkara stating that maybe the comic will be good, and maybe it will spontaneously transform into a ham sandwich. When he lifts up the comic to end the introduction, he instead has... a sandwich and a very disturbed look on his face. It leads to a comment at the end that the sandwich wasn't good either.
Linkara: THIS COMI- (notices that the comic is gone) ...THIS COMIC SUCKS!
- This also leads to a joke in Linkara's final statement on the comic:
- Getting confused by the Cable lookalike and calling him "Lieutenant Colonel not-Cable".
- Calling Die Hard "A Good Day to Die Hard's crotch."
282: Star Trek: Generations
283: The A-Team # 1
- Linkara's instant deduction of the villain's identity, which he continues to harp on every time the comic tries to misdirect us. Then it actually goes far enough to succeed in that, making him quite confused when it turns out he was actually right.
- The return of the Mr. T Superpower count.
- Linkara quoting Thomas Wolfe. "The exquisite smell of the south, clean but funky, like a big woman."
- B.A. catching a kid trying to steal his hubcaps:B.A.: You're lucky I'm not the law, or you'd be in real trouble!
Linkara (as B.A.): Instead, I'm going to recruit you into my T-Force! Now let's go find a crack baby, fool!
284: The Wild # 1
- This epic Call-Back to the Batman: Fortunate Son review:Linkara: And finally, a pig in vaguely Egyptian clothing and holding a gun.
Batman: Pigs from a gun!
- The comic managed to make Linkara verbalize two outlandish sentences:
- "Because poor literacy, includes proper punctuation mark placement."
- "Four typos on the first page, my friends. We're in for a wild ride! Get it? Because this is a comic called The Wild and I, um, um, (beat) Shut up, this is a comic about ducks taking over the world."
- After finding out that the pig's name is "Cochi": "I looked up 'cochi' on Google, and came to the word cochino. It's a Spanish word that basically means 'pig'. The pig's name is 'Pig'." (Face Palm)
- This gem:Maverick: Your vocabulary is astounding.
Linkara: I know, right? I'm really starting to get worried about just how many grammar and spelling mistakes there are in this book. Even for an amateur comic, a lot of this is basic spelling.
- Also, this:Linkara: Anyway, Maverick finds a bunch of CDs on a shelf.
Maverick: Ancient Omani stored there knowledge on disks like these. They could be useful.
Linkara (as Maverick): Ah, I believe this device will access the information on the Omani disks.
("MMMbop" by Hanson starts playing)
Linkara (as Maverick): What does it mean?
- "Said roboducks are on fire. This is one of the most metal things I've ever seen, and I've seen Neutro riding on a whale, and Superman riding on a giant cat."
- In the end, the comic is about a rabbit fighting ducks. Leading to...Daffy Duck: Rabbit season!
Bugs Bunny: Duck season!
- A meta example in the comments section, where it is proposed that this is a prequel to DuckTales, due to the despotic Duck Empire taking over and committing genocide on all other anthropomorphic animals.
285: Kamandi: At Earth's End # 5
- Linkara gets pissed when he sees Bearded Idiot's belt has pouches.
- "Superman: dealer of harsh truths!"
- "He's a man. I wonder if someday he'll tell me that fact while punching me in the stomach."
- This line about Mother Machine and how Superman was opposed to her creation.Superman: I was overruled... by the politicians.
Linkara: (throws comic into the air) THANKS, OBAMA!
- The Stinger featuring Kamandi and Mother Machine:Mother: Now I will have to punish you, Kamandi! No weightlifting for 3 weeks!Kamandi: But, Moooom!Mother: I mean it!
286: Nova Girls: Kissing Canvas
- Linkara snarking at the fact that Nova Girls has the same writer as "The Culling," the atrocious Teen Titans arc he reviewed earlier.
- The realization that this is basically the photo-comic version of Bimbos In Time... except Bimbos In Time was intentionally bad. This is not.
- This exchange:Alien Pro Wrestler 1: Hey, aren't those three hot or what?
Alien Pro Wrestler 2: I prefer my women with scales, thank you very much.
Linkara: Ah, yes, future alien pro wrestler The Cinema Snob.
- Linkara finally snaps when one of the Nova Girls Breaks the Fourth Wall to defeat all of their enemies by tearing off a page of the comic and wrapping them all inside it.Linkara: I'm in hell. That's the only explanation. I have somehow died or been cursed by a demon to live out the rest of my days in hell, reviewing this comic!
- It's followed by this...Linkara: So, after wrapping up of their opponents within a comic page— I CANNOT EVEN BELIEVE I'M SAYING THAT!!!!!
- It's followed by this...
- Linkara's conclusion doesn't have him calling out the flaws of the comic, but absolutely confused the hell out by how damn WEIRD the comic is, and wondering out loud what the hell it was trying to promote in the first place.
- Linkara's confused narration of the 'brawl'.Linkara: And then the woman who can't shoot straight says she won't get someone a cup of coffee...
Kevin Murphy:What the hell is going on?!
287: The Avengers # 200
- To start things off, the title card◊. It shows a party being celebrated, along with Iron Man and Captain America handing a pregnant Ms. Marvel baby shower gifts. Behind them, Linkara angrily facepalms.
- "This has been another edition of: 'Comic History You Don't Care About But Need To Know In Order To Understand This!'"
- Linkara mocks the comic naming "Mom, apple pie and the girl next door" as the root American values.Linkara: Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness? Nah! It's all about parents, baked goods and dates!
Narration: Wars have been fought for these ideals.
Linkara: Few people realize that the real reason we fought the Nazis was because they planned to steal our apple pies.
Narration: Presidents have been elected over them.
Linkara: (imitating John F. Kennedy) We choose to go to the moon not because it is easy, but because we need to get to the girl next door!
- When the baby says its first word:Baby: Ch... Change.
Linkara: The secret origin of Chester A. Bum!
- How does Linkara react to Jocasta's crush on Vision? By singing the Divinyls' "I Touch Myself," of course.Linkara: I don't want anybody else, when I think about you I touch my network port, ooohh.
- Hell, he uses the original song as the credits music of the review!
- "They really could rename this entire damn book 'What The Hell Were They Thinking?!?...#200.'"
- Linkara remarking on how all the Avengers' reaction to the baby's extremely fast physical and intellectual development is basically just a bemused "Huh. Weird."Linkara: ...What is WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! Is this situation so stupid, that it's drained all of your intelligence?!Jules Winnfield: What happened here was a miracle, and I want you to fucking acknowledge it!
- This moment:Linkara (as Marcus): How do I look, mother?
Linkara (as Carol): Young man, you march right upstairs and put a shirt on! We're gonna go get that hair cut! You look like a dirty hippie!
Linkara (as Marcus): But Mooooom!!!
- Likewise, when Carol tells Marcus, her "son", not to fight the rest of the Avengers, Linkara fully capitalizes on an already funny moment where Marcus becomes Not So Stoic.
- Linkara saying that his personal headcanon for this story that it was a drunk dream by Iron Man.Iron Man: (slurring) ...And then I fought a dinosaur, and Carol went off and was happy with this one guy who has a stupider looking goatee than me. No, don't take away my liquor! I'm not drunk, you're drunk!
- Linkara's Squicked-out reactions to the Parental Incest in the comic.
- Linkara describes George Perez as a multiplying factor of awesomeness - but unfortunately the book had zero awesomeness to begin with.
- Linkara (as Iron Man): I'll drink to that! Then again I'll drink to the shopping network, so that's nothing new.
- "Because wibbly-wobbly, timey-WHY THE HELL WAS THIS APPROVED?!"
288: Sci-Spy 5
- "After two weeks of unbelievable comics, I needed a relief. Unfortunadely, today we're scheduled to review Sci-Spy."
- Linkara getting angry at the Future Slang.
289: Red Hood and the Outlaws # 1
- The title card◊. Lewis reacting to this comic's version of Starfire asking "Do you want to have sex?"
- Jason Todd comes in disguised as Pastor Beerback. (Yes, the NAME of this disguise is what makes it so easy to spot.) "And just remember, Jason Todd was trained by Batman."
- Showing how the Latex Perfection over Jason's helmet is unrealistic.Linkara: (muffled, with a blank stare and lips not moving) Pardon me sir, I am totally a pastor and not a guy in a suit.
- When explaining that Roy Harper and Jason Todd seem to know each other, which he describes as the two "apparently have a history together," and he has to pause to preempt snarky commentary the moment he says it:Linkara: Not like that!
- "Dick Grayson, age whatever it is now in the New 52".
- Linkara says you should watch all nearly 300 episodes of the show, saying what else in your life could be more important.Pollo: (offscreen) Would you like the list in alphabetical order?
Linkara: Shut up!
290: Athena # 2
- "Is Athena's butt the Ghost of Christmas Past?!"
- Linkara mixing up the Judgement of Paris with the movie 300 and a few other aspects of Hollywood History is gold.
- Asking why if Zeus was trying to keep Athena safe in her human life, he gave her the identity of ''a cop''.
- In The Stinger, Linkara attempts to use a new morpher, with Pollo overseeing things on a tricorder. Linkara goes through the motions, awesome music in the background... and the morpher explodes, knocking Linkara on his face. Which is quickly followed by this:Pollo: Are you OK?
Linkara: I feel like a rainbow!
291: Bill and Ted's Excellent Comic Book # 1
- At the very beginning, Linkara states that he goes against popular opinion and prefers both the sequels to Bill and Ted as well as Ghostbusters over the originals. He then pauses to state that he'll be expecting people to start boycotting his show because of this.
- Linkara being surprised to realize that Bill is dressed exactly like 90's Kid. 90's Kid then pops up and claims that Bill and Ted are no way near stylish as he is since they don't have sunglasses.
- The Book-Ends, with Linkara first trying to do the Air Guitar solo that Bill and Ted do, only for no music to happen. When he tries this again at the end of the review [he somehow plays Air Piano music instead.
292: Zölasträya and the Bard # 1
- The various cameos from Team Four-Star asking Linkara to go off on an adventure.
- And what said adventure turns out to be:Lanipator: We're just gonna sit here talking amongst ourselves, figure out more ways to keep episodes of Dragonball Z Abridged from our fans. Make 'em suffer.
Antfish: Since we totally have those done already.
Linkara: Oh yeah, I do the same thing with History of Power Rangers!
- And what said adventure turns out to be:
- Linkara interrupting two of his own panels.
- The outtake where Linkara realizes he left a prop on the table.
- "Why do you keep declaring who we are?" "I dunno, must be a nervous tic or something."
293: Superman: For the Animals # 1
- Since it's a comic written by Mark Millar, Linkara decides to bring out the "Miller Time" watch and title card (with the first "e" hastily crossed out and replaced with an 'a").
- "The greatest minds of human civilization: Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, Steven Hawking, Ballser.
- "Kid, that's Superman. You should have gotten your Ballsers kicked for that one."
- "Truth, justice and Nyquil, let me tell you..."
- During the letter-reading scene:Linkara: "Dear Superman, my lover no longer satisfies my needs in bed..."
Linkara: (voiceover) Actually, the letter is from a twelve-year-old named Tommy...
Linkara: ...which makes the fact that his lover can't satisfy his needs in bed even creepier.
Linkara: (smiling) Kidding! Kidding!
- For pretty much the entire episode, he makes fun of Ballser for his name and for pretty much being psychotic. Such as:Linkara: Ballser continues to show he has a bright future as a serial killer as he continues his torture of small animals and...
Linkara: ...and I think Ballser is going to end up with his balls shot off by the time this is over.
294: Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos # 2
- Linkara mocking the awkward fight scene by waving his stiff-as-boards- arms around while doing the The Nostalgia Critic's falsetto "A-Chuck-a-Norriiis!" yell.
- At the start, claiming that the Chuck Norris memes have been dying down, and shoving The Nostalgia Critic's "A-Chuck-a-Norriiis!" meme offscreen.
- When one of the Karate Kommandos is kidnapped by the badguys, Linkara decides it's as good a time as any to bust out this clip note :
- At one point, Linkara gets so pissed at how Too Dumb to Live the evil ninjas are, (when they threaten to shoot the thing they were trying to steal, instead of threatening to shoot the person they wanted to surrender, he busts out the Ninja Style Dancer to remind him of something more ridiculous, and yet still more Ninja-like.
- Ultimately, the ninjas' plan for breaking into the hotel room.Pepper: It's a cat! But how did you get onto this floor of the building? Are you lost?Ninja: No! He came with us!Linkara: NINJA CAT!
295: Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie
- Linkara noticing a Plot Hole with the skydiving segmentnote :Linkara: Wait, "sixth perfect landing"? And they said that was the final team? (confused, slightly scared) ...Did Bulk and Skull never reach the ground?note
- "Of course, they're rollerblading after skydiving. Otherwise, they wouldn't be EXTREME teenagers of the 90s!"
- The running gag of how important Fred's subplot is.
- "Evil in the Power Rangers universe is a measurable force, measured in mega-Hitlers."
- "Meanwhile, on their palace on the moon, and boy do I love a job that lets me say that."
- Likening the snow-globe scene to the twist ending of St. Elsewhere.
- "Rocky, the mighty ape! You are damned and dirty."
- "And by the way, 'Ecto-morphicon' would make a killer band name. Or possibly a joint Ghostbusters / Power Rangers convention."
- The comic's last words are "believe it", leading Linkara to say, "Well, it wouldnt have brightly-colored ninjas without someone yelling to 'believe it'."
- "I'm guessing my spirit animal is a gopher or something."
296: Amazing Cow Heroes #5: Speed Steer
- The title card◊. Linkara eating a burger while the titular Speed Steer glares at him and Angry Joe looks in on them.
- Linkara's udder dismay at the initial preview page of this comic revealing that Speed Steer's original name was "The Gristle Missile."Linkara: Why the hell would you change that?!
- The text during the credits suggest that maybe the rocket on Speed Steer's costume is his cutie mark.
- After the CEO of Beefytown Burgers goes "Wahoo", Linkara guesses that he's Mario.
- The Running Gag of Linkara yelling, with increasing levels of incredulity, "THEY'RE COWS!"
- The narration here:Narrator: Little did that calf know that this night would change his life forever.
Linkara: A gunman killed the calf's parents, forcing him to become... BAT-COW! (beat ) I'm not kidding. Bat-Cow is a real thing, look it up.
- A YouTube comment referencing The Flash (2014) by parodying the show's opening narration:My name is Barry Bovine, and I am the fastest cow alive. When I was a calf, my mother was killed by a slaughterhouse, then a meteorite made me a Power house. To the outside world, I'm an ordinary farm cow, but secretly, with the help of my friends at Chick-fil-A, I fight crime and encourage people to eat more chicken. I'll find the man who slaughtered my mother, and get people to drop beef. I am...SPEED STEER!
297: Batman Jazz # 2
- Linkara wonders if Batman is Crazy-Prepared enough to anticipate the Mind Screw things he encounters in this comic:Linkara (as Batman): Ok, Robin. In this variation on scenario 46-D, a jazz demon will launch shards of glass out of his saxophone at me.
Linkara (as Robin): Ok, Batman, this is getting ridiculous!
Linkara (as Batman): Shut up, Robin! This is totally possible! Now, in scenario 47-A, a super intelligent emu will use its psychic powers to mind control me.
- When Batman discovers he wasn't actually getting shot at with glass:Batman: There is no glass. These are not wounds.
Linkara (as Batman): This ain't no disco, this ain't no foolin' around!
- Linkara does another "I AM A MAN!!!" punch after the above, but this time we actually see how he manages to pull random objects from out of nowhere when he accidentally steals a My Little Pony comic from Viga.
298: 2001: A Space Odyssey # 2
- Linkara takes issue with Vera's dialogue describing herself as "a female". He then gestures to himself and describes himself as, "Boy. Guy. MAN!!!"
- While talking about the monoliths effect on human evolution, Linkara mentions how humans will eventually evolve into lizard people. "That episode will never not be stupid."
- Linkara halts his recap when he notices something weird with the Ganymede sky:Linkara: Hey, wait a second. All those dots littering the sky...Light pollution would totally eliminate seeing any stars! Clearly this Ganymede landing was faked!
Planet of Atop the Fourth Wall Live!
- After Riker scolds himself for trying too hard to look relaxed to Picard:Linkara (as Riker): I hope Picard-senpai will notice me!
- In this comic, Troi is implied to have precognitive powers. Cue one of the attendants yelling "I CAN SEE THE FYOO-CHUR!!!"
- When the comic ends in a comedic manner with the aliens that age backwards being on board, contradicting Picard's remark that the diplomatic, Linkara sings a Laugh-In-esque sting.
299: Comic Book Quickies # 3
- The title card◊. Linkara scolding The Hulk over eating too many fruit pies while he's covered in their discarded wrappers.
- The episode begins with Linkara eating an actual Hostess Fruit Pie, to test whether it really is as irresistible as the comics have made them out to be. It isn't.
- In the Incredible Hulk quickie, after Hulk refuses to take part in a bank robbery:
- His ending gag to the first segment.
- The Spider Man/Cap'n Crunch crossover.
- "SOGGIES MAY RULE!"Linkara: THE HELL THEY WILL!!! THIS IS AMERICA!!! (starts shooting a machine gun while wielding Captain America's shield)
- This bit of the Super Dictionary:
- Linkara's ending summary:"So let's remember what we've learned today, everybody. Robin will do anything Batman says, but Kmart has 50 Twinkles to sate your hunger. But be warned, in case artichokes try to shove bees into their heads. I think that's what it was. I wasn't really paying attention, because next week is the 300TH EPISODE!" (fanfare plays) "...And boy, is it gonna hurt."
300th Episode: Frank Miller's Holy Terror
- The montage of his anti-Frank Miller comments, a Call-Back to the start of the One More Day review.
- When Mirrorkara announces that he wants revenge on Iron Liz, the person in question arrives, touting a large gun, and then just leaves.
- Coming across another goofy rendering of walking and imitating it (after the one seen in the One More Day review).
- Literally all that was missing was a clip from the Ministry of Silly Walks sketch.
- During the Celebration Livestream that ran the day before, Linkara was asked whether he would ever bring back the Mirror Universe or resolve the Iron Liz/Judas Liz plot. And without missing a beat he claimed he was considering it. Cue both showing up in the actual 300th.
- Linkara's freak-out over the book's odd dimensions. He hasn't even reviewed the cover yet, and you can still tell how much pain he's in.
- When measuring the book, Linkara briefly flips it off.
- The whole thing feels like he's channeling The Angry Video Game Nerd.
- His lampshading of the fact that he's angry about the book before even getting to the first page.
- When measuring the book, Linkara briefly flips it off.
- Reacting to the knife on the cover.
- First, saying that "Crocodile Dundee is looking at that knife and putting away his own in shame."
- Second, saying "Who makes a knife like that except a ten-year-old who doesn't know any better." Which leads to 90s Kid saying "Duuuuude! That knife is awesome! It's the kind of knife that shows no matter how you stab the villain, they're always going to end up with an awesome scar!"
- Linkara mocks Frank's gratuitous use of the Interplay of Sex and Violence (starting with a rooftop chase that turns into a fight that then turns into awkward making out) by dancing while singing "Sexy, sexy vio-lence! Sexy, sexy vio-lence!" to the tune of the classic conga song.
- Linkara reaching a page that shows a movie theater that looks like Mystery Science Theater 3000. He then gleefully notes that as he's been showing clips of Mystery Science Theater 3000 throughout the review, it's only right to show one here.Crow: Well, it's hardly worth it, but... boo!
- In part 2, at 13:12, Linkara comes to a splash page featuring only a man with mummy tape wrapped around his head , who's staring at the reader. The camera cuts three times between the page and Linkara's fascinated stare at it, with no dialogue whatsoever, until Linkara finally says...Linkara: The hell are you looking at?!
- When it's all finally over, Linkara has this to say about the comic.Linkara: This comic sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, SUCKSSUCKSSUCKSSUCKSSUCKSSUUUUUUCKS!! (beat) Sucks.
- And right before that:"No wonder they call it... terror! DUH END!"
- And right before that:
- During the battle with Mirrorkara, there's a blink-and-miss moment of Snowflame's Grocery List written down on a whiteboard on the fridge.
- Also Mirrorkara admitting that he too has a Snowflame.
- Margaret giving Mirror Margaret a noogie during their "Battle"
- Don't forget Mirror Margaret teasing Margaret about her flower crown and Margaret saying she got the idea off of Tumblr, where she goes when she's bored!
- When Mirror Linkara explains how he came upon his magic gun, we find out that the gun has virtually the exact same backstory as Linkara's partner Margaret. However when Margaret asks if a kid was sacrificed to make it by the child's own parents, Mirror Margaret explains in her universe, she volunteered to be part of the project. Margaret's response? Beat. Then completely deadpan "You can shoot them now."
- Linkara comments on the bizarre headscarf of the terrorist on the cover, asking if it's supposed to be a mummy. After another such scarf appears later, he suggests that Miller's real reason for writing the book was to draw people's attention to the true evils of Ancient Egypt! Cue pyramid shot and "The Imperial March".
- During the big battle at the end, Linkara is forced to cycle through all his past outfits (i.e., cosplays) and use the various powers associated with them. All of them are awesome and badass, but one in particular is just as hilarious as it is awesome: Linkara. In a Starfleet uniform. Firing a BFG. While singing Combine Harvester.
- Making that even better is Mirrorkara's reaction:Mirrorkara: (pops up from behind the table) Ah ha! (sees the gun) Oh poop! (ducks back behind the table)
- Making that even better is Mirrorkara's reaction:
- His utter joy at finding a female policewoman whoe isn't sexualised, talking about sex or having sex, and is just generally written as a human being. He takes the opportunity to celebrate — but then Future Linkara phones him to point out that said policewoman is really just background filler and not a proper character.
- Even better is Linkara's hilariously understated reaction:Linkara: ...'kay.
- Even better is Linkara's hilariously understated reaction:
- Linkara noting that the comic goes straight from "Terrorists are evil because they have no regard for human life" to "Let's get some killing done" on the very next page. He immediately cuts to a clip of an audience groaning and facepalming.
- Noting that if the comic was written properly (i.e., an Up to Eleven, Crosses the Line Twice Affectionate Parody of WartimeCartoons), Al-Qaeda would be rampaging across America in giant robots, Osama bin Laden would be a head in a jar using his psychic powers against the military, and they would be defeated by Hostess fruit pies.
- After the comic begins by quoting a totally made up quote of the Qur'an, Linkara decides to go by the rules by using a verse of the Bible. Only for him to say that if it was by Frank Miller's rules, it should be made up and not quoted correctly resulting in "Adam, either you put on some damn pants or this relationship is over. -Eve"
- [After the Fixer makes a dead terrorist joke] "I'd just like to remind you that The Fixer is a 'gentle soul'". *strains, forces a smile* "I frickin' hate this comic."
- This bit:The Fixer: But every once in a long while, the mask falls away. Every once in a long while, the whole world makes perfect sense. The world reveals itself.
Linkara: (doing his Batman voice for the Fixer) A new Sailor Moon anime is coming. The world makes perfect sense again!
The Fixer: With a wild laugh, she lets go of my-(Linkara instantly stops reading upon noticing the art)Linkara: OH GOOD GOD THIS ARTWORK!!!
- And then immediately afterwards:
- Around the 3 minute mark of video 3 (Each of the 3 videos in this review is at least 30 minutes long) Linkara reads that The Fixer believes that everything that's happened is still just the beginning.Linkara: WE'RE SERIOUSLY STILL JUST BEGINNING?! WE'RE ON PAGE 93!!!
- Continually making fun of The Fixer's name, frequently pointing out that he named himself after someone who should be neutering animals instead of being a superhero.
- Linkara's response to seeing that a couple of pages of the comic is just wave after wave of small rectangles.Linkara: I would not have been surprised if the next page would have had five hundred tiny squares and the editor would have finally had to step in and tell Frank: Enough! We get the point! But Frank would scream: "NO! My point is not clear enough! MORE TINY RECTANGLES! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRE!!!"
- Linkara finally snapping from the comic's abundance of showing heads:Linkara: WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY, FRANK?! At least the dumbass talking heads from The Dark Knight Strikes Again were SAYING things! What is the statement you're making when you (turns comic around to show the heads) JUST...SHOW...THE HEADS, WITH NO DIALOGUE OR CAPTIONS?! It'd be like cutting to still images of the other That Guy with the Glasses producers, for NO REASO—(Smash Cut to exactly that, complete with classical music)
- Donegal (the comic's Jim Gordon Expy)) remarks about "keep[ing] the local slime from partying all over Empire City".Linkara: Now I imagine Empire City is actually some kind of fantasy RPG setting with slime creatures that you have to battle for easy XP.
- Everything that happens when the al-Qaeda boss shows up.
"Apparently the leader of al-Qaeda hails from the land of ELVES!"
- Starting with Linkara's bombastic description of the guy's villain cred, which quickly dissolves into laughter...
- ...because he's completely covered in beads. Then Linkara theorizes he's supposed to be wearing the vibrating heat-suit from Jimmy Tango's Fat Busters.
- The bad perspective making the terrorist leader look barely taller than a kneeling, bound Natalie Stack leads to this gem of a line:
"Not all of us have a problem with English, my curvy young infidel."Linkara: And not all of you have a problem with being a lecherous weirdo, ya short, beady...weirdo![...]"And no, I didn't keep you alive just to gloat."Linkara: "It was also to leer at you!...Also, main character shields!"
- While all of this is going on, Natalie Stack is tied up in Japanese rope bondage, so Linkara has a lot of fun mocking the terrorists (and Frank Miller) as perverts.
al-Qaeda boss: Your beheading will make a bitch of a video. Maybe we'll do you nude; that'd put the fear of Allah in you.Linkara: Are-are you real? Are you really what Frank Miller thinks the leadership of al-Qaeda is like?...That's adorable!
- This exchange:
"We call ourselves al-Qaeda - 'The Cell' - and you don't even stop to consider what that means."Linkara: ...you're big fans of that Jennifer Lopez sci-fi movie?
- The baddie finally gets his Motive Rant going:
- After the terrorists blow up the not-Statue of Liberty with jet fighters, Linkara first yells at Miller for still having them use now-logistically senseless suicide bombers, then theorizes it's because al-Qaeda is trying to weed out their dumbest members."Oh, there's Steve! Dude always spills his soda on the gunpowder, let's make sure he doesn't mess this one up!"
"At this point, I'm not gonna be surprised if they have a NUKE, too!!"
- At the end of Linkara's rant:
- Natalie Stack starts repeating the phrase "that's all" during one of her inner monologues:Linkara: Oh, great, Frank's record is skipping again. SOMEONE HIT THE JUKEBOX!
Genesis of Atop the Fourth Wall: Sailor Moon Act 1
- At the start, he admits that Codename: Sailor V is technically the start of the overall series, but all the scans he could find of it were of very low quality, -er, I mean THIS is the start of the more popular series, so we're doing this instead.
- Pointing out how Usagi/Serena isn't referred to as either name in this series, but Bunny, the literal translation of Usagi, sarcastically noting how rabbit-like she is anyways, what with her long ears, fondness for carrots, her ability to have sex and breed like crazy.
- After admitting the last line would only apply to Hentai doujinshi, Linkara notes how, in "Bunny's" panic to get ready for school, she begins squirting toothpaste at a cartoonishly high volume, and ran the risk of splattering it all over her face; "''And then it WILL look like a hentai doujinishi."
- Then, Linkara finds out that Sailor Moon's name really is Serena in this comic, but "Bunny" is just an In-Series Nickname for her. "Because it's funnier, I will continue to refer to her as "Bunny". Or rather, at some point, I hope to make a Night of the Lepus joke except with Serena instead of the KillerRabbits.
- Sailor Moon tripping over a black cat? "Sorry, Bunny. Seven years bad dubbing."
- Linkara calling Umino/Melvin Dr. Insano (a possible Call-Back to The Nostalgia Critic making the same joke in his Sailor Moon review).
- Introducing Tuxedo Mask as "Japanese Cory Hart, a.k.a. Mamoru, a.k.a. Darian, a.k.a. TOTALLY NOT TUXEDO MASK, WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK THAT, SHUT UP!!!!!"
- Then, when sarcastically wondering aloud why people would ever think Darian was Tuxedo Mask, when he's wearing a Tuxedo and Cool Shades out in the open, one of the attendees points out that Darian doesn't wear sunglasses as his Tuxedo Mask persona. Then another attendee asks Linkara if Tuxedo Mask was in the same rooms as somebody else wearing a tuxedo...Linkara: ...Y-yeah, just... Shut up!
- Then, when sarcastically wondering aloud why people would ever think Darian was Tuxedo Mask, when he's wearing a Tuxedo and Cool Shades out in the open, one of the attendees points out that Darian doesn't wear sunglasses as his Tuxedo Mask persona. Then another attendee asks Linkara if Tuxedo Mask was in the same rooms as somebody else wearing a tuxedo...
- This exchange, when Luna reveals her full powers to Serena:
- At the climax of the story, when Serena screams so loudly and piercingly that she shatters glass, knocks over the Monster of the Week's Brainwashed and Crazy Mooks, and even leaves the Monster itself stunned long enough for Serena to finish it off, Linkara points out the delicious irony of how "Crybaby" Usagi was saved in her first battle "by the power of whining!"
301: Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters # 1
- The beginning of the episode:Linkara: Hello and welcome to Atop the Fourth Wall, where bad comics burn. It's the 301st episode! (beat while he sits there with the same excited pose and expression on his face; nothing happens) I can't actually keep the celebrations going, can I? (holds the pose for a little longer, then drops it) Yeah, I didn't think so.
- "Oh my god, this is the greatest monster attack I've ever seen in my life!"
- After Godzilla No Sells a surprisingly consequence-free nuke and appears out of the Smoke Shield with a bright red coloration, Linkara's reaction is classic Pokémon trainer material.Linkara: ...A red Godzilla?! Oh my God. It's a shiny Godzilla! (cackles as he grabs a Pokeball) I am gonna stuff you into a tiny ball!
- Linkara notices a few background characters fleeing Godzilla's Tokyo rampage who look identical to ones killed during his first attack.
- Immediately afterwards, there's a surreal moment of President Obama elaborating on the latest Conspiracy Theory about him, and finishing a Rule of Three gag with "You have to be @%$#ing kidding me!" Linkara had previously mocked the comic's use of the line with cutaway clips, but didn't have one this time, instead capping it with a hilariously apropos use of a contemporary internet meme.Linkara: I ran out of clips for that line. Thanks Obama!
- An official tells Obama that they "have a problem".Linkara: It seems some uppity internet critics are pissed off about our legislation. We're getting offers from some Emperor Palpatine-looking dude to get rid of 'em. (beat) What? This was published in 2011.
302: Batman: Shadow of the Bat # 56
303: Sinnamon # 1
- "Although looking back on it, after all the other terrible comics I've reviewed, was [Sinnamon #11] really that bad? OH DEAR LORD YES!"
- Linkara's interpretation of the artist's thoughts when he designed Sinnamon's costume:Linkara: Hmm, I want to draw porn, but I don't want the social stigma attached to that.
- "So instead we have Sinnamon on a dark background, surrounded by a strange purple glow. All hail the Glow Cloud."
Destiny of Atop the Fourth Wall Live: Neon Genesis Evangelion: The Shinji Ikari Detective Diary
- After reading some of Toji's dialogue, Linkara has to clarify that this is not a badly written scanlation and/or doujinshi, it's the actual comic, published by Dark Horse Comics and approved by Studio Gainax.
- Linkara's reaction to Toji referring to his and Shinji's relationship as a "bromance".
- All of the stuff surrounding Pen-Pen.
- His Double Entendres regarding the Homoerotic Subtext between Kaworu and Shinji. And the audience rejoicing after each one.
304: US-1 # 4
- The title card, Linkara is literally up to his armpits in chickens... that is all.
- "...And finally, the chickens. Thousands, if not millions, of chickens. A sea-no-an ocean of chickens. For the chickens to be so numerous that they reach up to the cab of US-1's truck would probably require an entire country's worth of chickens to be carted to one location. This, my friends, is the true Birdemic."
Resurrection of Atop the Fourth Wall Live:What If... Spider-Man's Clone Had Lived?
- Rather unusually, a lot of the best jokes in this one come from the audience, including:
- "Everything was better with ''my'' Spider-Man!"
- "Stop hitting yourself!"
- Linkara himself milks the Black Comedy and Harsher in Hindsight moments for all their worth, culminating with this:Linkara: Well, that joke fell like a turd. Like Gwen Stacy.
- When Spidey's carrying his clone's dead body.Spider-Man: Had to get proof that I was the real Peter Parker before disposing of handsome here. Too bad, kid! We were closer than brothers...
—>Linkara: ♪And then we had to fight eachother. But we trust our fate to the heart of the cards! No matter what, let the clones begin...♪
305: The Adventures of JELL-O Man and Wobbly # 1
- Linkara begins the episode by looking up to the video title, and then shouting, "WHAT?!?", showing the "Fourth Wall" in his show title.
- His response to Grabby the robot complaining that he never gets any Jell-O desserts.Linkara: Yeah, you're a robot! You don't need Jell-O! I'm pretty sure you don't even have the ability to enjoy it!
Pollo: (offscreen) Doesn't mean we don't appreciate it being offered.
Linkara: Fair enough.
- The numerous questions Linkara has about JELL-O Man's anatomy.
- His response when Jell-O Man removes his own head.Linkara: I'm beginning to suspect that none of this is real, that this is all an hallucination brought on by eating some expired Jell-O.
- Since one of the stories takes place at a museum, there's obviously exhibits on prehistoric life, thus setting up an obvious joke opportunity...Jell-O Man: Hey, look — the fish has legs! Pretty neat, huh, Wobbly?
Wobbly: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Linkara!Jell-O Man: In a few years, some moron will use "fish legs" as the basis for a philosophical idea in his comic called Marville. Won't that be fun?
Linkara!Wobbly: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Linkara!Jell-O Man: No it won't be. You're an idiot, Wobbly.
- "Mind if I ask for a lift back to town? I can't exactly parachute back out of here..."
- When the Jell-O Man somehow appears on another planet to introduce Jell-O to its inhabitants, Linkara flat out loses it.Linkara: How did you get into space?! HOW DID YOU GET INTO SPACE?! (throws the comic down and starts shaking the camera) HOW DID YOU GET INTO SPAAAAAAAAA--?!!
(static cuts him off, and a drawing of Linkara with a straitjacket and crazed, bloodshot eyes inside an orange padded room appears with the words "We'll Be Right Back After These Technical Difficulties" next to him; when the scene returns to Linkara, he is slumped on the couch, hat and glasses askew as he stares blankly at the ceiling)
Linkara: (distantly) How did you get into space? How did you get into space?
- A short time later, Linkara loses it again when the villain of the same story, the Shoveler, makes his plan known:The Shoveler: You've also introduced me to a new place to steal Jell-O gelatin.
Linkara: It's sold in grocery stores! Just steal it from there! JUST STEAL IT FROM THE GROCERY STORE! (throws the comic away and comes for the camera again) AAAAAAHHHHH—!! (static cuts him off again; the "We'll Be Right Back After These Technical Difficulties" card returns)
- A short time later, Linkara loses it again when the villain of the same story, the Shoveler, makes his plan known:
- "THEY CAN'T EAT THEIR PUDDING IF THEY DON'T EAT THEIR MEAT!"
- When he's reviewing the cover:
Linkara Hell Jell-O Man is even trying stealing the Kool Aid Man's stick, look he's busting out out of the wall!
- Wen he sees the wall busting.
Linkara (as the Kool Aid Man) Oh No!
306: All Star Batman and Robin # 8
- The title card: Linkara and the Joker, both with massive frowns (to the point their lips go past their chins).
- During his Miller Time intro, he reveals a comment from a particularly idiotic troll who somehow has arrived at the conclusion that criticizing Holy Terror makes Linkara a friend of Al-Qaeda. His response?Linkara: It must be really fun living in your own, made-up world where I say and do things that didn't actually happen. Perhaps in some people's eyes, I am actually a badger who reviews late-night talk shows. However, here in the real world, I have to review another issue of ASBAR.
- After just the first page which features the Joker narrating about how he loves the city so much when it cries, Linkara snaps and says Frank Miller should just have sex with a building to get it out of his system.
- This bit:Crazy Steve: Do you know what a psychopath is, Grayson?
Linkara: I do. I've been looking at one for 8 issues!
- Playing the reaction shot to "I threw a rock at him!" after the Joker says he's not very funny.
- He finds he can't argue with Crazy Steve's statement that Hal Jordan is a moron. Without qualifying that he means in this comic.
- Later, though, he says that "And that's when Hal picks him up with giant green tweezers and says 'No! Screw you, asshole, we'll talk right now or I'll drag you to the police station for kidnapping, assault and murder.' Or, at least, that's what should happen, since Hal Jordan might be stupid, but he's not that kind of stupid."
- In quite possibly the funniest scene in the review, Linkara is talking how Crazy Steve is basically planning to talk smack about Green Lantern and how lame he is...but it then quickly (D)evolves into Crazy Steve ranting/whining about himself.Linkara: This scene is just here so Steve can boast about how Hal Jordan sucks, and he's stupid, (slowly sounding like Crazy Steve) and that his [Crazy Steve's] outfit and car...
Linkara (as Crazy Steve:) ...are so totally not gay and SHUT UP! I'M NOT 9 YEARS OLD! I'M AN ADULT AND MATURE, YOU POOP-HEAD!
- Linkara's Frank Miller half of the "Good Writer" (Scott Snyder, who makes Gotham's architecture a character in smart, subtle and non-pretentious ways), "Bad Writer" Game.
- Using a clip of Dracula (1931) during Batman and Dick Grayson's, age 12, conversation:Renfield: Isn't this a strange conversation for men who aren't crazy?
307: Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: The Computer that Said No to Drugs
- The title card. Linkara chasing the Whiz Kids while wielding a frying pan.
- When Ms. Wilson reveals she has three surprises in store for today's class, Alec is a little too excited.Alec: Don't keep us waiting, Ms. Wilson! The suspense is killing me!
Ms. Wilson: Ha ha! It can't be that bad, Alec...
Linkara (as Alec): But it is, Ms. Wilson; I literally can't feel the left half of my body! (looks down at it) I think I'm having a heart attack! (collapses onto his side)
- After Ms. Wilson reveals one of the surprises to be a Tandy Color Computer 2 with Color Disk Drive, a DWP-210 Daisy Wheel Printer and color Scripsit, and an RS-232 Program Pak and DC-I Modem, Alec considers them to be "the neatest thing [he's] seen in a long time!"Linkara: He said the same thing about his pencil eraser. Alec is just very easily entertained.
Alec: Er... except for one little detail... what is color Scripsit?!?
Shanna: Haha! It's an easy-to-use word processing program, Mr. Know-it-all!
Alec: Uhhh... right! That's what I was going to say.
Linkara: And check it out— it looks like he's holding his head and looks utterly confused and baffled.
Linkara (as Shanna): Ms. Wilson, I think Alec's brainwashing is starting to wear off.
Linkara (as Ms. Wilson): Oh, don't worry about that, Shanna. I can fix that in a jiffy! (gives a thumbs up and pulls out a whirring electric screwdriver)
- After Ms. Wilson reveals one of the surprises to be a Tandy Color Computer 2 with Color Disk Drive, a DWP-210 Daisy Wheel Printer and color Scripsit, and an RS-232 Program Pak and DC-I Modem, Alec considers them to be "the neatest thing [he's] seen in a long time!"
- At one point in the book, Detective Shaw tells the class about the dangers of drug use, preferring he'd rather scare them with words than have them learn the horrors of drugs themselves. Linkara's portrayal of him takes this aspect over the top:
308: Marvel Super Special #17: Xanadu
- "WHY IS EVERYONE IN THIS COMIC STARING AT ME!? WHAT DO YOU WANT?! WHOOOOO ARRRRRE YOUUUUUUU?"
- The author using fancy descriptors within caption boxes.
- "Ah, 1980, a more trusting, simpler time where one could just borrow a stranger's bike without a second word."
309: Sci-Spy # 6
- The episode starts out with the James Bond theme and a parody of 007, just like with the review of the first ''SCI-Spy'' issue. Then the song changes to the original Charlie's Angels theme song and Linkara, after a few seconds, stops his MP3 player.Linkara: Old joke.
- After the actually surprising twist from last issue, Linkara wonders if the last issue of the series is gonna be any good. Cue him sarcastically laughing.
310: Kamandi: At Earth's End # 6
- The Title Card. Linkara turning white at seeing what can only be described as the giant amorphous green blob from it's cover because, as the title card artist points out, the thing has NO ANATOMY.
- What's Kamandi's punishment for not following Mother Machine's orders by bringing his female friend, according to Linkara? Being forced to read every issue of SCI-Spy.Linkara (as Kamandi): IT'S SO BORING!!
- The I am a free man! moment, followed by pulling out The Longbox of the Damned.Linkara: What the hell?
Moarte: Whoever took my longbox better put it the hell back!
Linkara: Sorry! My bad! (grunts with effort)
- And the people in the comments lamenting that Linkara didn't pull out a crowbar.
311: Sonic Super Special # 7
- As he prepares to review another Sonic comic, Linkara lampshades how the "Top 15 Comics I'll Never Review" list is, at this point, shot completely to hell.
- Evan Stanley's reasoning for getting Linkara to review the comic - she put him in as a cameo, so he should review a comic!
- Then at the very end of the review, he suddenly finds another comic that's included a cameo of him: Littlest Pet Shop (2012). Cue Linkara's phone ringing...
- Reacting to the characters of "Scolder" and "Mully".
- "WHY ARE YOU TWO SMILING AT EACH OTHER LIKE THAT?!?!"
- After going over the history of Ken Penders and the comic, Linkara advises to keep all documents that may end up important someday. And then cracks that he'll eventually end up on a show about hoarders.
- Just before that, as people are requesting he covers the topic of Ken Penders, the topic of David Attenborough comes up.
312: Star Trek: First Contact
- After Cochrane says "Twang-da-da-twang! Let's rock!":
- In one panel, Riker asks Worf if he remembers how to use the phasers on the ship. Linkara responds by asking if he uses this finger to do it.
313: Cosmic Slam # 1
- The opening line:
- While going over what little information he could find on the book, Linkara mentions that Cosmic Slam is actually a sequel comic to Shortstop Squad, a comic book about late-90's shortstops battling a pink Godzilla creature.Linkara: And if you think I'm gonna review that someday... (beat) ...you are totally correct.
- The cover of the comic features baseball players in power armor wielding thick baseball bats.Linkara: I swear to God, if those things get described as laser bats... (beat) ...I'm gonna be really angry about it and then keep reviewing!
- "I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT SPORTS! I KNOW OBSCURE STAR TREK TRIVIA AND FAN THEORIES ABOUT POWER RANGERS CRAP! THIS IS NOT MY FIELD!"
- "A team is sent out to investigate the crash site, which is glowing bright green. Ooh, now it's radioactive! That can't be good!"
- When the team finds a rapidly-growing tree in the crater, Linkara is ready to go to town on the situation.Linkara: Oh, how many jokes could I make about this scenario, hmm? Well, let's get started. (inhales deeply) Run away! Men in Black II is starting! *ding-dong* Well, at least it isn't the Blob. *ding-dong* Don't touch it, you fools! Haven't you seen Creep Show?! *ding-dong* Better call Goku— looks like the Tree of Might is back. *ding-dong* Let's get Bruce Willis and his oil-drilling team— *BUZZZZ* Ohhh, right! Damn it, I already made an Armageddon joke. Well, still, four-joke streak— that's gotta count for somethin'.
- The baseball players are briefed on the situation that threatens the human race by the military:Professor Kovacs: One seed. One tree can ruin us. Earlier today, the Hubble Telescope sent us a photograph of seventy more of these seeds approaching the Earth.
Linkara: And again, they called in baseball players for this! Not even gardeners— BASEBALL PLAYERS!
- Jeff Bagwell sees the whole issue as ridiculous and asks, "I mean, what's next? Space aliens from another planet?"Linkara: As opposed to space aliens from southern Wisconsin.
- When the alien tree becomes mobile and angryTree: I AM NOT GROOT.
314: The Thing From Another World: Eternal Vows #1- 2
- Another great opening moment:Linkara: It's October. The atmosphere is getting spooky. There's a chill in the air. There's a guy in bad makeup talking about horror comics in his own dumb video series in another room. And I have to see a horror franchise get crapped on in sequential art.
- The title card: a woman swooning in the arms of a hideous tentacle monster... while Linkara and the Starsteam #1 Thing look on in horrified disgust.
- Linkara calling Detective Sergeant Rowan John Constantine.
- His Freak Out! when he realizes an important point the comic missed.
- Linkara's running gag of Rowan asking "who started the bar-room fight?" with a fake New Zealand accent whenever he meets someone. Including a corpse.Linkara-as-Rowan: Alright you, who started the fight in the bar?!
Linkara-as-Corpse: (sitting motionless, with tongue hanging out)
Linkara-as-Rowan: ANSWER MEE!!!
- Interrupting the "great continuity" clip to say that it doesn't haven't enough sarcasm.
- The poorly-drawn diagram◊ of Linksano's "Not Evil Plan," featuring helpful labels like "Glowy Bits" and the single word "SCIENCE!"
- While the Thing is describing it's backstory, we get this pleasant revelation.Powell!Thing: Jennifer, please, a little respect for your father.
Jenny!Thing: (giggles) Sorry, daddy... darling.
Linkara: EWWWWWW!!! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Okay, now we're getting into Avengers #200 territory with this! Ewww!
315: The Thing From Another World: Eternal Vows #3- 4
- The title card: Starstream Thing is holding a match while a city burns in the midground and background while Linkara is looking at him with a sternly disappointed look on his face.
- After a pervert named Julian is infected by the Thing, he begins making out with a random woman... and his new tentacle goes for her ass.Linkara: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeugh! I need to go take a shower for the next five years!
- When Jenny!Thing decides to torch the whole townDimitri: That's it! Arson!
- Linkara using Rowan's suicide to finish his "bar-room fight" gag.Linkara-as-Rowan: (brandishing a pistol) But before I die, I just have to know one thing: WHO STARTED THAT BAR-ROOM FIGHT?!
316: The Thing From Another World: Questionable Research
- "So, uh, yeah, things have gotten pretty bad around here, and as such I'm doing what I always do in these situations: review comic books! [beat] Wonder what normal people do in these situations..."
- "How is there a rimshot in this dimension?" *leans into screen* "How am I even recording this?"
- When Douglas argues with Hooper about the latter having morals and states why morals aren't welcome in any lab of his:Linkara: Stab him in the chest. What? I thought morals don't belong in his lab. STAB DOUGLAS IN THE CHEST.
317: Spider-Man: The Trial of Peter Parker
- Pollo sums up the absurdity of their experience pretty well.Pollo: We are a group of robots sharing a single consciousness fighting along side robotic silverfish and a foam toy brought to life by science. Normal is relative.
- When Kaine mentions that he'll be happy to see Reilly getting the death sentence:Spider-Man: Yeah, well, you're talking about a friend of mine, Kaine... and you're going down to that courthouse to confess, even if the only mode of transportation we can find for you is my fists!!
Linkara (as Spider-Man): (punching at the camera) Exact! Change! Only!
- Summing up Stunner's character design.Linkara: The mismatched sides, one leg getting a boot that goes all the way up her thigh, while the other looks like a sock with ankles thinner than her wrists, spiked arm bands, boob socks, each breast bigger than her head of course, and hair that swishes and sways and just won't quit. Loreal, because she's worth defying physics.
- Reacting to the summary of what's going to happen in Amazing Spider-Man #403.Masterpiece Theatre Linkara: Welcome, my friends, to Stupid Ideas Theatre. On today's episode, Spider-Man is put on trial with Carnage as his prosecutor.
- While Linkara is tearing apart the cover for the third comic in the series, he takes a moment to compliment Kaine's butt. And he actually sounds semi-sincere. It's probably sarcasm, but it's so out of nowhere it's hilarious.
- "I have reached a verdict." (reads from a receipt) "THESE COMICS SUCK!"
318: Whiz Comics # 2 (Fawcett/DC's Captain Marvel)
- The title card. Linkara as Billy Batson getting the magic gun from an interpretation of the wizard Shazam who the comments equate with Old Man McGucket.
- The wizard Shazam explains that for 3,000 years, he's been using the attributes the gods gave him to battle the evils that threaten to wipe out humans.Shazam: And during that time I have seen everything— known everything— that happened throughout the world, from the highest to the lowest.
Linkara: [as Shazam] Unfortunately, that means I've had to watch every episode of Two and a Half Men.
- Shazam reveals the object that allows him to see through time, "The Historama!"Linkara: Patent pending.
- The Two and a Half Men joke is touched upon again only a few moments later, when the comic mentions the Historama can depict past, present, and future events.
- Linkara: And that's how you explain how he was able to see every episode of Two and a Half Men in 1940. See?! My jokes make perfect sense! [grins]
- After Billy transforms for the first time:Shazam: Henceforth it shall be your sacred duty to defend the poor and helpless, right wrongs and crush evil everywhere.
Linkara: [as Shazam] Also, to constantly get into fights with Superman when the writers want someone who's a match for him.
- "Billy tries to follow [the mad scientist's goons] but the doorman stops him."Linkara: Captain Marvel's greatest nemesis — the Doorman.
319: Tales to Astonish # 44 (Wasp)
- The cover declares that "Ant-Man and the Wasp battle 'The Creature from Kosmos'!!"Linkara: Double exclamation points. Because one wasn't enough and three is just overkill. Also Kosmos spelt with a K. Because poor literacy is KEWL, which is very strange to see in this time period.
- Reacting to "Meet the flying Wasp, Ant-Man's gorgeous, new partner-in-peril":Linkara: The flying White Anglo Saxon Protestant? [...] Actually, I do kinda like the unnecessary comma, since making that a phrase in itself implies that the cover text is saying that Ant-Man is gorgeous. And who couldn't love a man whose spine twists him into a D-shape.
- When Hank learns that his wife Maria was killed as a warning to anyone attempting to flee from behind the Iron Curtain:Hank: Maria... dead? No! She... she was so young, so beautiful, so wonderful!
Linkara: [as Hank] And our honeymoon suite at the hotel is non-refundable!
- After Hank is sent back to America, he tells himself that he's been sitting around doing nothing while terrible events have been happening in the world.Hank: So I will strike back at all of it, wherever rottenness exists!
Linkara: [as Hank] I will invent Tilex mildew removal spray!
- "It works... the reducing gas works! My theory is correct! Living cells can be reduced in size by chemical means... and my growth gas will enlarge them again..."Linkara: [as Hank] Even though it was a liquid in the first story! [Beat] Man, I really was hit on the head hard, wasn't I?
- Ant-Man notices that his ants are withdrawing and asks them what's wrong.Ant: That creature that was in there... the mist it left... it contains traces of formic acid! It must be kin to us, the ants, for we secrete formic acid, too!
Linkara: Thank you, Professor Clicky, of the ant biochemistry division.
Ant: But, it is alien and we are afraid!
Linkara: Also our speech and emotions are easily translatable for you. That's a thing, apparently.
320: Detective Comics # 38 (Robin I)
- Running down the list of the changes to Dick Grayson's status quo, laid out in order.Linkara: So let's dig into Detective Comics #38 and see how Dick Grayson became Robin, and then became Nightwing (1984), and then became Target, and then was Nightwing again, and then became Batman for a short while (1994), and then was Nightwing again (1996), and then was Batman for a longer time (2009), and then was Nightwing again (2011), and now he's a secret agent for some stupid reason (2014). [long beat] Theme song!
- Every scene with Linkara wearing a Batman mask while retaining the rest of his own outfit, hat and all.
- Repeatedly shoving All-Star Batman & Robin, the Boy Wonder's version of Robin's origin story into the real thing.
- Batman's introduction to Dick Grayson in the comic, quickly followed another of Linkara's references to All Star Batman and Robin.Batman: I'm the BATMAN!
Linkara: First name: "Goddamn".
- Noting one exceptionally awkward pose that Robin takes.Linkara: [as Robin] I call this one the reverse Wonder Woman.
- Linkara notes that with all the people Robin presumably kills in this comic, this might qualify as a supervillain origin.
- A caption states that Robin "[kicks] the gunman off the girder into space".Linkara: Robin's kicks can send people into outer space?
321: The Avengers # 1
- Loki is imprisoned on a very comfortable island that does nothing to dampen his magical abilities, with no guards or supervision.Linkara: ...It's not really punishment as much as it giving him his own evil lair.
- Ant-Man is kind of being a jerk to Wasp.Wasp: Henry Pym, you're beginning to sound like a stuffy old bachelor again!
Ant-Man: And I intend to remain that way! Now see if you can't be quiet long enough for me to activate the double catapult!
Linkara: [as Ant-Man] Dear God, woman, can't you see how much I loathe you?!
- Linkara imagines how Hulk's job interview to get into a traveling circus went.Linkara: [as Hulk] Me am Hulk, strongest one there is!
Linkara: [as the circus owner] Isn't the Hulk a monster who attacks people?
Linkara: [as Hulk] Uh... d-did me say Hulk? Me meant, uh— ehm— Mechano! Yes, me am robot who do robot things! But— but good robot! Me not smash puny humans!
Linkara: [as the Circus Owner]'' That's all the convincing I need — you're hired!
- Ant-Man attempts to talk to Hulk, but of course, the Jade Giant refuses.Hulk: Go away! I speak to no one! I have no friends!
Linkara: [as Hulk] Hulk going through tough times! No one understand Hulk but his fanfics!
- Thor asks his father Odin to allow him to visit the Isle of Silence so he can confront Loki about his hand in the day's events. Odin grants him permission, but warns him that because they're both his sons, he can't interfere.Linkara: [as Odin] This is just like the time you two stole each other's Yu-Gi-Oh! cards.
Linkara: [as Thor] Verily, father! Loki is a monster who tore my White Dragon with the Blue Eyes!
- Thor swings his hammer through Loki, but it's just an illusion. Linkara puts up the clip from the Avengers movie of Loki going "Are you ever not going to fall for that?" Apparently Thor's been falling for that for a really long time!
- Thor attempts to save Loki from falling off a cliff.Thor: Note how I rub my enchanted hammer along the ground...
Linkara: [as Thor] It doth massage the soil and encourages grass growth.
Thor: ...soaking up the strong flow of magnetic currents that give life to the trolls below!
Hitler Clone: Of course. Don't you know anything about science?
Linkara: Aaaaand the hammer magnetically pulls Loki back up to him.
Linkara: [as Thor] I am Thor, master of magnet!
- After narrating the Hulk's touching declaration that he wants to be part of the team and be somewhere he feels he belongs, Linkara blithely notes that he quit the team just two issues later.
- When the group of heroes, having at last all united, are trying to come up with a name for their team...
322: The Hobbit # 1
- Linkara opens with an attempt to tie The Hobbit in with Christmas - eg, comparing Gandalf and Saruman to Santa Claus - before cutting himself off and admitting that he's reviewing it because Battle of Five Armies comes out soon and he might as well tackle it before it loses all relevance.
- He states his annoyance on how almost every character, minor or not, has 15 different names that can be easily confused or is given an extremely intricate, yet unnecessary, backstory.Linkara: Who does that? Having so many different names to go by? It'd be like saying my name is Linkara, or Lewis, or Psyweedle, or Thickmaster, or That Guy With The Hat, or That Unfunny Guy who Reviews Comic Books on the Internet *gives a coy little smile*
- Linkara calls Gandalf "Gandalf the Pedantic" upon the whole scene with Bilbo bidding the wizard a good morning.
- Then he calls him "Gandalf the Overbearing" when he rushes Bilbo off to the inn.
- This bit after the "I am Gandalf" sceneLinkara (as Gandalf): And the wonderful thing about Gandalfs, is that Gandalfs are wonderful things!
- Linkara riffing on how Gandalf marks on Bilbo's door.
- Linkara giving a "scathing zero" to the adaptation upon seeing Dwalin and Balin's mixed order of arrival.
- "...And [dragons] guard their plunder as long as they live (which is practically forever), and never enjoy it at all."Linkara: Smaug would later be haunted by three spirits... which he then set fire to.
- His annoyance over how Tolkien loved putting songs, or rather, poems into any of his books.
- Bilbo begins to appreciate adventure as he travels with the group... until they set up camp on a cold, wet hill and have trouble starting a fire.Bilbo: Oh, bother burgling and everything to do with it! I wish I was at home in my nice little hole by the fire, with the kettle just beginning to sing!
Linkara (as Bilbo): At first, I didn't think I'd like the kettle radio that my mother bought me, but now I can't live without it!
- When the dwarves notice a light in the distance, they decide to be jerks and send Bilbo to investigate.Thorin: Now scuttle off, and come back quick, if all is well. If not, come back if you can! If you can't, hoot twice like a barn-owl, and once like a screech-owl, and we will do what we can.
Linkara (as Thorin): If it turns out to be some hot dwarf women or mermaids, make a sound like a howling wolf. If it's just Gandalf or some fairies screwing with us, make a noise like a dying giraffe. Now, the next three possibilities involve sounding like you're both quacking and choking, so...
- He remarks over how Book!Elrond doesn't look anything like Hugo Weaving.
- When Linkara comes across the Goblin King, he brings up a clip of Jareth.
- After Bilbo has found the One Ring, we get this:
- This bit after Bilbo pockets the One Ring.
- Linkara's answer to Gollum's "What has roots as nobody sees" riddle.Linkara: Hmmm, I'm going with Godzilla!
- The many, many jokes about Bilbo's narcotics habit.
- Noting the pipe on the cover is as tall as Bilbo, and wondering if it's actually a bong.
- Bilbo decides to spend one morning just smoking his pipe.Linkara (as Neighbor): You know, it's lazy drug addicts like this that are bringing this entire community down. Get a job, Bilbo!
- When Bilbo nearly falls to his death and is lost and alone in a dangerous place, his first thought is at least he has his pipe. Linkara then says he needs an intervention.
- And after getting trapped by Gollum, who might eat him if he fails...
- The Stinger, which involves the goblins mentioning what they want to do with the dwarves.
323: The Hobbit # 2
- Describing the book as the journey of a small creature in its efforts to smoke weed and steal money from squatters.
- Bilbo starts with a riddle of his own.Bilbo: Thirty white horses on a red hill, first they champ, then they stamp, then they stand still.
Linkara (as Gollum): Oh, well, that's easies. It's, uh... (sits there for a few moments, his eyes darting nervously from side to side, before suddenly pouncing) BLAAGH!
- His rant on the completely nonsensical riddle, ending with him complaining that the person in the riddle is trying to kill his cat by feeding it bones.
- The perfect juxtaposition of Gandalf setting pinecones on fire and throwing them like grenades with Spoony in Gandalf cosplay wielding a grenade launcher.
- Bilbo kills a giant spider all by himself, and feels much stronger because of it.Linkara: This was the beginning of Bilbo's career as a serial killer.
- As Bilbo distracts the giant spiders by singing at them, Linkara wonders what song he could possibly sing to them as a distraction, with him then singing "Ooh Child".
- The Wood Elven King not comprehending the whole concept of starvation.Elven King: Why did you and your folk twice try to attack my people at their merrymaking?
Thorin: We did not attack them, we came to beg because we were starving.
Elven King: Where are your friends now, and what are they doing?
Thorin: I don't know, but I expect that they're all starving in the forest.
Elven King: What were you doing in the forest?
Thorin: Looking for food and drink, because we were starving.
Linkara (as the Elven King): But I don't get it. Why were you straying from the path?
Linkara (as Thorin): Food! Starving to death! CAN I PLEASE HAVE SOME FOOD?!
Linkara (as the Elven King): I don't understand this, he's speaking some strange foreign language.
Linkara (as Thorin): By Durin's Bane! Is that crown squeezing your head too tight or something?!
- He struggles with Thranduil's name for a bit before deciding "I don't care." And then after, he calls the Elven King Link.
324: The Hobbit # 3
- The title card. Frodo Linkara roasting a marshmallow on the breath of Smaug.
- Linkara admitting the reason he reviewed the first part on his couch, the second by the tree, and the third on his couch again was just so he could make a pun about being "there and back again".Linkara: ...You see, because i-it's a thing with the book— SHUT UP!
- His recap of the first two parts which makes Bilbo look like a Designated Hero who trespasses, murders innocent creatures, sets fires, and flies first class without tipping.
- Commenting on the dwarves' reaction when they run into Smaug on the cover.Linkara (as Dwarf): Oh, Smaug! Uh, didn't expect to see you out here. Um, we're door-to-door delivery salesmen and we would like to show you this lovely ring.
- Linkara!Smaug counting his treasure with his giant claws.
- He then admits that he has to pawn half his stuff because it's not useful anymore.
- Bilbo throwing the Sackville-Bagginses under the bus when Smaug asks for his name.
- Linkara sympathizing with the hobbits when they declare Gandalf a public menace. Made better by the episode description.Gandalf the Grey: wizard, mentor, ruiner of lives!
- Reacting to getting Santa The Barbarian.
- When Bilbo gets the Thorin out of the barrel and asks if he's dead.
- Linkara (as Thorin): (While his body is scrunched up) Well I feel dead, does that count?
325: Santa the Barbarian
- The title card. A child version of Linkara making a snow Pollo with blood splatter all around him and a massive shadow looming overhead, while, in the background, "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" plays.
- When Santa approaches the town of Gamora, Linkara has this to say:"What, did Santa not like Guardians of the Galaxy or something?"
- Linkara is none too pleased at the effort (or lack thereof) at the "Night Before Christmas" parody's Rhymes on a Dime. Why?Narrator: I'm almost out of synonyms / This rhyming's for the birds / If the rest of this is cheesy, / It's because I'm out of words...
Linkara: (seething) I wrote a 3,600-word review of a "Star Trek" comic and did it entirely in rhyme! GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS AND THINK OF SOME COUPLETS, YOU SLACKER!!!
- When the elves bring out their Santa-killing robot named Tank:Narrator: As I've said before / This rhyming really stinks / I think that I'll stop now / Talking this way worries my therapist (an arrow points to the word "therapist" saying, "Heh? Shrink!")
Linkara: (furious Death Glare)
- And the ensuing Mystery Science Theater 3000 clip."If part of me is laughing, then it's the part of me that hates life."
- And the ensuing Mystery Science Theater 3000 clip.
- After springing the trap on the mysterious womanLinkara: So... am I putting out an extra spot at dinner or...?
Jaeris: Linkara, this is Joanna! My wife!
Linkara: That a yes?
Pollo: I'm not buying any more presents; you'll have to share the George Foreman Grill!
- After Jaeris hugs Linkara for his gift, Linkara awkwardly pats him in the back after a moment of unsure silence before saying:Linkara: You do know people are going to write fanfics about this, right?
Jaeris: I don't care. I'm not gonna be around to read 'em!
- Linkara reminding Jaeris not to get too excited about the gift since he's the one who destroyed the anchor and trapped him here in the first place.Jaeris: Oh yeah. Up yours! Thank you, but mostly up yours.
326: Top 15 Worst Comics I've Ever Reviewed
- The episode's full title is really "Top 15 Worst Comics I've Ever Reviewed Not Including Holy Terror"
- When ties into a bit of meta funny: "Holy Terror" was barred from the list because Linkara "want[ed] to have some surprise in this list". The 15th comic on the list is "Santa the Barbarian". The comic he looked at last episode.
- Linkara explaining/mocking the dialogue in Cry for Justice.
- Also, him wearing a colander on his head to impersonate Prometheus.Prometheus: I AM SO SMART! LOOK AT HOW SMART I AM!
The Heroes: Damn! He is smart!
Prometheus: I AM SO SMART THAT EVEN MY PANTS ARE SMART! THAT IS HOW SMART AND EVIL I AM! OH, WHOOPS! MY SUPER SMART DEVICES ARE ACTUALLY NOT THAT SMART... BUT I AM TOTALLY STILL SMART!
The Heroes: Damn! If only we were smart!
The Narrator: Child death of character never featured in comic before.
The Heroes: Well, better let the villain go! He's just too smart.
Prometheus: HA HA HA! BACK TO BEING SMART IN MY LAIR OF SMARTNESS!
- Also, him wearing a colander on his head to impersonate Prometheus.