Villain Critique Thread (Because Its About Damn Time!)

Ah, thank you. Yes, with most powers you made it very clear that they were given to the user, but others were just a little unclear as to whether they were Flutsteicher's alone.

(Removed for re-posting in a better form elsewhere).

edited 29th Oct '14 6:42:51 PM by Swordofknowledge

Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake. — Edgar Walllace

Simple, secondary villain from my story.

Name: Ross "Candyman" Harold

Age: Early elderly years, mostly.

Personality: He tries to act kind to people, but has a huge Hair-Trigger Temper.

Abilities: He possesses a supernatural ability (it's in the context of the story, so don't worry) that allows him to harm people through art (mostly with Brown Notes.) He mostly themes his "art" around candy, such as stuffing corpses full of peppermint.

Weaknesses: He's not that strong upfront and his temper leads to a lot suspicious behavior. He's not that good of an artist, anyway. Goals: What does he want to accomplish? Mostly just fun, and his own weird fantasies.

Motivation: He dislikes people.

Role in the story: He comes on, kills some people via art, then is killed by the protagonist. Backstory: He had been ridiculed for his poor art skills, so he turned to making confectioneries. His passion didn't dwindle, though, and he snapped.

Relevant Tropes: Hair-Trigger Temper, Beware the Silly Ones, Mad Artist

edited 8th May '14 12:50:15 PM by pugsmith

?!?!?!?!

Love her. She's basically like the evil queen from a classic fairy tale, but with evil elf tropes mixed in there. She and Azelas...yeah, I definitely see what story you're referencing there.

• Name: The Dollmaker / Bernard Dohmer

• Age: 36

• Personality: The Dollmaker figures in to the motivations of the earlier villains here, mostly on account of the fact that he is essentially what would happen if you gave a particularly paranoid, sadistic sociopath the power to basically warp flesh at a touch. He has utterly no genuine emotions, even to this day, when he's ostensibly The Atoner, his reasons for "atoning" are even questionable, with many stating that as a total psychopath, he's incapable of recognizing his wrong doing. However, there is one crucial portion of his neuroses that explains this - he simply thinks of everything he does as wrongdoing. He invokes Card-Carrying Villain, and does it to basically make all his various murders seem random and instinctively chosen. The reason he is called the Dollmaker is tied into his neuroses - he perceives everyone as eternally satisfied, ever smiling dolls that are always happy and content. This fills him with rage, because his own life was so crappy. Hence, he uses his power to force people into being basically toys, transmuting their flesh into plastic, and turning them into his "dolls". However, by the modern day, he has retired as a serial killer, and uses his powers instead to become a freelance, traveling doctor. Apparently, he views his sociopathic antics in his childhood as Old Shame and "my classic wrongdoing". It seems he is always putting on acts in order to make himself seem like different people, changing personas, nationalities and even upbringings with the ease of changing his socks. Though he does so in order to prevent people from coming after him, as he "wants to live in peace, and bury my past". He doesn't want anyone to have justice for his crimes, because "justice is really nothing but a tool for the eternally satisfied, the powerful." Though, to his credit, he is a very talented doctor, and has saved a lot of people's lives, making the question of what to do with him rather odd. He does not want to kill people ever again, and he seems to like his doctor work. It is implied he still considers everything he does "wrong" simply because he's still walking free and helping people despite being a Retired Monster. This could very easily explain why he does any of this - he likes being a headache for people with power and status.

• Abilities: His Spell Core, Shaper, gives him the ability to shapeshift himself, giving himself a Wolverine-esque Healing Factor, and just as well letting him warp people's bodies by touching them, in an oddly Alchemic fashion. Shaper is the only Alchemic Magic Spell Core to be able to do this.

• Weaknesses: His neuroses result in him being unable to deny being The Dollmaker, though he always says he's done being that guy. He is also loath to use his powers offensively now.

• Goals: "I want to live without being harassed by anyone for anything."

• Motivation: He claims the way Ronald Reagan "affected" mental health facilities made him see what was "really goin' on here." Yes, his Freudian Excuse is Ronald Reagan.

• Role in the story: Retired Monster / The Medic

• Backstory: He was quite the Enfant Terrible when he was small, being a Serial Killer by the time he was 8, using his cute face and antics to make people think he was just an innocent kid. It even worked on Kyrio freaking Streika. His IQ is mentioned to be about 195. This tactic and his later "I'm just a pretty little Choir Boy" routine were so successful he got bored being a serial killer. His kills dropped off significantly. Before long, he decided he wanted to atone for his crimes his own way, and said as much in his last letter to the police. Nowadays, he's just a traveling doctor, who everyone it seems remarks is extremely handsome.

• Relevant Tropes:

• Acquitted Too Late: Aversion - There were eleven suspects for his murders, and he was in no hurry to kill them. They were very convenient.
• Affably Evil: By now, and as we see in the flashback, he was this even during his teenage years.
• Alone with the Psycho: Samantha thinks this is what's going on at one point. It really wasn't.
• The Atoner: Not by paying for his crimes, oh no. He's now traveling around being a doctor, deciding that is a better way than by going through the criminal justice system.
• Berserk Button: Mention the name Ronald Reagan in a positive light. Go on. Do it. He won't break his "No Killing" oath. The last time this button was pushed, he...made the person's nose bulbous and gigantic. This person also appeared as an anti-semite earlier, though, talking about "Jews and their hideous, giant noses" - so Bernie "repaid him for all his nastiness at once".
• Body Horror: In the past, it was played for all the horror befitting the trope, but in the present, some of it is played for laughs. For example, he "helped" one Football Player looking for steroids by making him so hilariously, exaggeratedly muscular he couldn't move much. He turned him back, but still...
• Cop Killer: Fiendishly enough, when he was just a little boy, he also murdered police investigating the case. Again, a little boy did this.
• Creepy Doll: He turned people into these, including sealing their mouths shut, and making their eyes into inanimate objects while in their skulls.
  • Though notably, him thinking dolls are creepy is the reason for his murders in the first place.
• Criminal Mind Games: He took his to another level - he at one point said he was going on a date in a police letter. They scoured the streets, warning people in restaurants to look out. Police cars near popular restaurants...and then we cut to a hilariously awkward looking Bernie trying to delight his crush over a cup of tea he made.
• Does Not Like Guns: He never once used a gun in his crimes, mostly because "Are you kidding me? Those things are dangerous. If you don't treat them right, they could explode and blast off your hand! Major health hazard. Not to mention the chances your kid might pick one up." The irony of a Serial Killer extolling morality was not lost on his listeners.
• Enfant Terrible: He got his start as a horrible murderer at the age of eight.
• Even Evil Has Standards: His standards are mostly to do with Form and Aesthetic. When someone started to play Jack the Ripoff to him, he says this; "I'm flattered, really, I am...but this guy's got no sense of aesthetic. He's a faker. A copycat. Make your own stuff."
  • When he was a suspect for another killer's crimes, he reacted with revulsion when told some of them - he reacted to being told one victim's arm was half eaten by gagging and calling that "the grossest thing I've ever heard".
• Freudian Excuse: He certainly has one of the silliest of them. Though this may well tie into realistic portrayals of sociopaths.
• Healing Factor: Thanks to Shaper, he is nearly impossible to kill.
• Heel–Face Turn: Kinda...sorta...I don't even know.
• Hypocritical Humor: He indulges in this every now and then, and even does a Hypocrisy Nod.
• In-Series Nickname: Samantha calls him "Doctor Hannibal". As he's a fan of Anthony Hopkins, he doesn't mind the nickname.
• It Gets Easier: His opinion on murder, so you should therefore not do it unless there's no other way out. He would know.
• Laser-Guided Karma: He did not like helping out Teddy Lambert, as Teddy was The Duplicator, both he and Elijah Gibbs knew this. So he "turned that horrid lad into a form wherein he couldn't murder any more people ever again."
• Meaningful Name: "One letter away from Dahmer. Yes, I know. Not like that joke hasn't been made a million times before."
• The Medic: He heals people really quickly, due to Shaper's powers.
• Morally Ambiguous Doctorate: Travels around performing as a doctor, like the old style "traveling doctor."
• Mr. Fanservice: He grew up from an awkward Pretty Boy into a very muscular, handsome doctor. Samantha hangs a lampshade on the trope every time they meet.
• Nightmare Fuel Coloring Book: His diaries. They are full of vulgar drawings, especially when he was eleven and twelve. All the pages end with "The Dolls All Smile At Me. And I Smile Back."
• Obliviously Evil: Oh so averted. He knows he's done wrong, and says this about his time outside; "The more time I spend outside a prison, the greater the blow to justice's ego."
• Painful Transformation: He was forced into turning a greedy old woman young again when she threatened to have his loved ones killed, one by one. He made her young again, but made it so painful she was screaming in horrible ways not two minutes into it. By the end, she was just a shaking lump, could not speak, and was committed to a mental institution.
• Perpetual Smiler: Though not for fiendish reasons - he claims "you just feel better when you smile earnestly. Don't force it. Try to smile through pain and hardship. Find other people to smile with you." He himself likes it when he sees a smile.
• Pet the Dog: When he discovered one of his older patients had a deadly tumor in her brain, he tried his best to heal it without any pain.
• Power Perversion Potential: The potential for his powers to be used for perverted ends is very high. He's aware of all of them.
• Refusal of the Call: He was one of many people called up in Book II for Sharon Tate Roman's Legion of Doom, but he refused her call mostly because it'd involve killing again.
• Reminiscing About Your Victims: He can immediately recall everyone he killed - though he refers to them as "Doll" in the case of a girl, or "Ken" in the case of a guy. Though he has to be told their name first. Otherwise, he cannot remember initially.
• Retired Monster: He used to be The Dollmaker, who was mentioned in The Heretic's profile.
• Serial Killer: And a really, really nightmarish one, going by his victims. He uses his powers to turn people into dolls filled with viscera and body fluids. As for Body Counts, due to Phantom Claw being focused elsewhere, and his ability letting him delete finger prints and DNA profiles from him, the official estimate is 50-70 victims. Unofficially, its speculated that the number is a lot higher.
  • He also trolled Samantha, who just learned about magic, by claiming to be The Zodiac Killer. Result? She started screaming about a time traveling Serial Killer, making her look crazier than him.
• Shirtless Scene: Samantha even asks; "Wait a minute, why am I staring at the psychopath's admittedly very good looking abs?"
• The Sociopath: he claims he never does anything unless it makes him happy. Though as he puts it, "Your happy face...that makes me very happy." He can fake empathy very well, and he switches between personas like shoes.
• Teens Are Monsters: Inversion - he stopped being a monster in his teenage years.
• Thou Shalt Not Kill: His modern creed. Does not stop him from subjecting people to rather odd, hilarious transformations to teach a lesson. The Anti-Semite learned this the hard way.

edited 8th May '14 9:48:15 PM by NickTheSwing

Thanks for the review; I appreciate it. Just curious, which story did you think that I was referencing?

Dollmaker (Or I guess I should call him Bernard since he's retired) is a very interesting character, who straddles the line between villain and character that I just don't know what to make of. His personality and powers are very interesting, and I'd love to see them in action. Once again another great character (I'm avoiding the use of "villain", since even though he is here, again he seems to have stopped his overtly murderous ways even if the reason was entirely self-serving).

• That incident with the old woman who held his loved ones hostage and his revenge on her reminds me a lot of an incident in Franken Fran, so thumbs up for that too. .

Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake. — Edgar Walllace

I've got to agree with Sword here (may I call you that lol?). At the current state he doesn't even sound villainous, just a tad trickster-ish. I like the concept behind him though. His child serial killer thing that's his backstory reminds me a bit of that girl from Little Sweetheart. A bit improbable, but scary all the same. Here's hoping he eventually turns out to be as monstrous as an adult as he was a child.

Alright, time to take a break from the Dissonance grimdarkness a bit. This one is a slightly different villain from a slightly different setting.

The world has long fallen to the barren state, covered in sand. Only 7 cities are left habitable, and all of them belong to the peculiar Office of Administration, run by an entity aptly named the Administrator. But then one of the cities decides it no longer wants to be under control, and revolts. This is when she comes in.

Name: Director 3, more commonly known as That Bitch

Age: Classified, but looks 30-ish. Maybe that's just surgery.

Personality: Unlike what one'd expect of a Director, the second in command of the entire Office of Administration, 3 is unusually emotional In fact, she's a bit too emotional, showing at times what is bordering on lunacy and psychopathic glee. Cackling is what she does all the time, as with smoking cigarettes and babbling nearly incoherently. One wonders why the hell would the Office employ someone as mad as her, but then he is reminded how effective and downright scary the woman is. As crazy and destructive she is, 3 is the reason City 4 is still relatively intact. Tactically minded and willing to make a sacrifice when it makes sense, 3 is also the most capable field commander the Office has.

Abilities: Dying and coming back, repeatedly. Every time she 'dies', 3 seems to come back the next day, healthy as ever. In truth, the bodies are clones, with her mind stored somewhere deep below the Office's distant headquarters, somewhere in the middle of the vast desert. She also seems to be able to link with the consciousness/operating system of the soldiers and machines working under her, sometimes gaining a limited form faux-clairvoyance.

Weaknesses: She hates magic. As in, she absolutely can't stand it. While her forces are usually well equipped to deal with the supernatural and ancient, and she herself likes a challenge, having to actually deal with one tends to make her nervous. Also, 3 absolutely hates bureaucracy, the very thing that the Office runs on, and so doesn't seem to get along well with the other Directors.

Goals: Elimination of the remaining magus, or anyone even remotely knowledgeable on the subject.

Motivation: She hates magic as it disturbs her 'coherence' and wants absolutely no one to use it. Among other things.

Backstory: City 4, Nox, was collectively introduced to this Director, and the Office's true might, when the revolution by the underground society Wayward, consisting of magus and the curious, broke out, aiming to disable the Veil that blocks the city from the rest of the world, and set out to find the rest of humanity outside they previously were told no longer exist. Said introduction was catastrophic; the Wayward people were only prepared for the Flowkeeper, the law enforcing body of the city, not full scale attack from the Office, with warmachines and weapons they have never seen before. They never knew the Office had forces outside of Nox, so ready to be deployed. Since the first day of the attack and occupation, 3, who leads the force in person, sometimes at the frontline, has come to earn special hatred from the city's denizen, and effortlessly becomes Wayward's number one enemy. But what exactly is she? Is she a person like the rest of them, a machine, or something else entirely? This no one can answer.

Tropes:

Ace Pilot: Rarely does she actually get to pilot anything, but when she steps into the cockpit of the Celestia gunship or even the lowly Hovergun speeder, she's most definitely this. The fact that she has a lesser case of battlefield omniscience aided by her link to the bots and the guards doesn't hurt.

Ax-Crazy: Nothing describes her better. She's extremely enthusiastic burning helpless citizens to crisp. She's found laughing heartily as the Vagabond assault bot stomps on and crushes a child, and its mother shielding it with her own body, to a bloody pulp. She's violently batshit insane.

Affably Evil: As much of a bitch as she is, she's an entertaining conversation partner when one gets down to it. She cracks jokes all the time, bordering on black comedy, and when one of her own gets killed by the Wayward, she sometimes can be heard laughing and appreciating her enemies' creativity and resolve.

Enigmatic Minion: No one has any idea who or what she is, or what exactly she wants other than killing people.

Expy: Probably of Chief from Armored Core V.

Hive Mind: Seems to be a part of it, as with most of the more 'inhuman' officials of the Office.

Immortality: Type 3. Without destroying her entity reserve, she's going to come back, again and again, until the facility runs out of spare material to build her organic or mechanical bodies, and that's not bound to happen anytime soon.

Laughing Mad: More often than not.

Psycho for Hire: The Office technically doesn't hire her anyway, but she certainly isn't a firm believer in the Office's motto of "Order triumphs all." She just enjoys her job so much.

Smoking Is Cool: Or so she thinks. Not like there's opinion on the subject, seeing that the people from City 4 don't even know what tobacco is.

We Have Reserves: Her favorite 'tactic'. Of course she has the finesse to handle anything more subtle and complicate, just that the usual drown-them-with-the-bots-and-even-more-guards works most effectively.

edited 11th May '14 7:07:50 AM by Arreimil

On the foundation of glass a dream is built. And, like glass, it shatters.

Seems like a really creative and fresh bad guy, and depending how far her lunacy goes, perhaps very entertaining as well. I also like how she seems to be something of a cypher. I like her, very "unexpected" character.

And now, for another villain of my Urban Fantasy, Fausto Cross (coincidentally, also an anti-supernatural villain like the one I just reviewed).

Name: Lord-Master (his title) Primus.

Age: Roughly 2.000 years old.

Personality: Lord-Master Primus is a calm and calculating mastermind. He always has a somber aura around him, as if he were always in mourning for something, even as he unveils his machinations. Primus has intense hatred for all that is supernatural

He has a taste for the arts and can be very polite and corteous depending on who he's talking to.

Abilities: He is a master strategist, a brillant swordsman and a charismatic leader. He also posseses Complete Immortality.

He is also the founding member (and absolute leader) of the Order Of The Grail, a massively influent and powerful secret Order that influences history throughout the centuries.

Weaknesses: Clever he might be, he can't measure up to other entities in the story, and he is but a mortal, trying to go up against supernatural entities, and as such he is often blindsided by supernatural elements he wasn't aware of.

In short: Competent, clever, but vastly outgunned and outnumbered.

Goals: He seeks to kill God and wipe out all that is supernatural. He is essentially a human-centrist at heart who believes this reality belongs to humanity and none else (i.e angels, demons, supernatural creatures, e.t.c)

Motivation: In his opinion, God is a cruel tyrant and humanity deserves to fend off for themselves. Of course, this is a universe where God is a good guy, and his death would mess the universal order a lot more than Primus thinks.

Role in the story: He's something of a deadlier version of a Arc Villain / Big Bad Wannabe and appears a great deal as a supporting (or main) villain of storyarcs.

Backstory: Primus was the leader of the roman soldier party that arrested Jesus Christ. He didn't really give a crap about what he was doing, and for him it was just a random job. Along the overall event, Primus confiscated the actual Holy Grail.

He drank from it, and immediatelly suffered the effects: Instant awareness of the universe, instantly learning about all that is supernatural. Which led him to notice that the man he just arrested actually is the son of God.

He desperately tried to go back on his actions, but he was too late, and as he arrived Jesus had already been executed. My God, What Have I Done? ensued, and he wept before The Cross for days.

He attempted to kill himself but as he discovered, he was now immortal (as he drank from the holy grail). Soon his tears of remorse turned to tears of hatred, and he cursed God for allowind such suffering to befall his very son and himself. He decided gods and angels did not deserve earth, but rather humanity did. And such would be his goal: to make humaity stand alone in reality.

Primus so decided to spend his lingering existance to wipe out God and all that he created so humanity would rule supreme.

Relevant Tropes:

• Ancient Conspiracy: The Order of the Grail has influenced (though not too strongly, as their goal is not political, but rather to wipe out the supernatural) human history for two thousand years.

• Affably Evil: While he treats every other non-human race as goats for slaughter, when he's talking to human beings he's very corteous, and does his best not to harm any human figures.

• Anti-Villain: As the (rather lengthy) backstory described above makes clear, he's a very tragic figure, and has the best intentions at heart. He just has terrible methods.

• Ape Shall Never Kill Ape: While he does murder humans very often, he tries to avoid that. Supernatural creatures don't have the same privilege.

• Authority Equals Asskicking: Lord-Master of the Order of the Grail and by far the best warrior among them.

• Badass: A expert swordsman and master of all kind of weaponry.
  • Badass Beard / Beard of Evil: He has a thick goatee.
  • Badass Grandpa / Evil Old Folks: He looks like a 60-years old man.
  • Badass Normal: He can't be killed, but other than that his body is more or less the same as a normal human.

• Bald of Evil: Ever since his days as a Roman soldier he is bald.

• Been There, Shaped History: Of course. Besides being the guy who arrested Jesus, he is also responsible for a number of events across history.

• Big Bad Wannabe: Despite his ambitious goals, he is vastly outgunned by both Heaven and Hell, and the actual Big Bad (Leviathan) is far more terrifying than he is.

• The Chessmaster: This is a man who maneuvered through human history for two thousand years.

• Color Motif: Grey, the color he's always dressed in. It highlights his dreary and cold behavior.

• Complete Immortality: He can't be killed in any way, shape, or form.

• Cry for the Devil: See his backstory.

• Elderly Immortal: When he drank from the grail he was about 50 or 60. His physical appearance is stuck in that age because of that.

• Enemy Mine: He is willing to side with some supernatural creatues temporarily against some larger threat to humanity.

• Even Evil Has Standards: He avoids harming his own kind, and when he does, he tends to go about it the cleanest way possible.

• Evil Counterpart: Both he and the protagonist seek to protect humanity from harm and achieve balance between the supernatural. Problem is they have distinctively different concepts of balance. He also Fausto's match in sword skills.

• Exposition of Immortality: Frequently, often as part of a Hannibal Lecture.

• Freudian Excuse: The whole incident with Jesus serves as his.

• Knight Templar: Believes himself to be entirely correct in his genocidal plan and can't be convinced otherwise.

• Master Swordsman: The best one in the setting alongside the protagonist.

• Moral Myopia: From how I describe him, he sounds almost heroic. Problem is his good traits only appear towards humans. With supernatural creatures he commits open genocide with not a hint of remorse.

• One-Man Army: He usually has bodyguards with him, but when he has to fight on his own, he can slice right through entire squads.

• Rage Against the Heavens: In spades.

• Species Loyalty: Humanity firt and foremost.

• Utopia Justifies the Means: In his mind, after he kills God, the world will become an utopia with humans working side-by-side to a better future.

• Well-Intentioned Extremist: Only doing what he thinks it's best for humanity.

• Who Wants to Live Forever?: He desperately wants to die, but he soldiers on to fulfill his task: to rid Earth of its tyrant God. This is also part of his justification, as he believes Heaven and Hell are lies, for eternal existance is a curse (in his opinion).

• Wrong Genre Savvy: He seems to believe he's in a universe where the supernatural is Always Chaotic Evil and God Is Evil. He's wrong.

"All you Fascists bound to lose."

Yeesh, she is even worse than my own Anti-Magical Faction, and they're composed mostly of Mad Scientists using the opportunity to test how their Anti Magic tech works. I am officially looking forward to her come uppance. Though its not like she needs any help in reducing her coherence.

• Name: Hector Gibbs

• Age: 19

• Personality: Hector Gibbs starts out as the single funniest New Dawn Big Bad, if only for the fact he absolutely does not take himself seriously, and is constantly telling jokes and flirting up everything. A self proclaimed omnisexual, Hector has no barriers to who is eligible to be flirted with - men, women, old people...sentient spheres of Mana...giant minotaurs...demons...angels...aliens...does not matter to Hector. Even though his plan is by all intents and purposes one of the nastiest sounding, its made evident that he intends to undo some of the worst parts of it...though this is slightly questionable, and in some ways, Hector gives off the impression of having a more serious side to himself. This is true - Hector is a lot more dangerous than his strange, hilarious antics would say. During his childhood, he was at one point adopted by a rich couple, and this was when he first showed his true colors. Not three years after the family adopted Hector, their house burned down, killing Hector's two older brothers, his mother and his father. It only spared his little sister, who Hector personally carried out of the house. I need not even say Hector set the fire that killed his adoptive family. Hector is also incredibly determined to see the darker parts of his goals to fruition, which calls for him to basically run around killing people. To this end, he also recruited Cyber-Matthew, who ate up Hector's Eat the Rich philosophy. Indeed, in Hector's perspective, with magic in the world, the time has come to destroy the powerful, ruin the skilled, and bring about the Blessed Tear's activation to "force revolution upon the world". He desires to see a world where nobody is celebrated for doing anything, basically people just live, and are never acknowledged for accomplishing anything wonderful.

• Abilities: At first, it is that Hector has the twin Spell Cores called Imagine Magnum, which basically lets him stock his two guns with anything he can imagine. From regular bullets to giant flame blasts and ugly sludge monsters. However, Hector, being a half-Ghoul, is also capable of above human physical feats, as well as being able to use Stagnant Mana. His secret weapon is his Katana, Amatsujime, which he uses in a special sword school that basically stresses moving into close range quickly and basically slashing the opponent to pieces however it need be done. Hector has also shown an affinity for the Blessed Tear, and is capable of creating strange, rainbow-like barriers in its presence.

• Weaknesses: Hector is simply way too passionate, and he cannot pass up an opportunity to make his old school nemeses pay. His own inner, more sinister nature does not help.

• Goals: Make the Blessed Tear show up by putting the entire world into a state of crisis.

• Motivation: Apparently the Blessed Tear appeared before him in his youth, and he was infatuated with it ever since.

• Role in the story: Big Bad

• Backstory: Initially, Hector was taken from his birth parents, and let be adopted after a time in an orphanage run by his own grandfather Elijah - needless to say how bad the orphanage was - and then he was given in adoption to a rich family, he had two older brothers, one of them a well known football player, the other a burgeoning lawyer, and a younger sister who Hector just absolutely adored. Despite his older brothers not being that bad, and his family being, while somewhat distant, not all as bad as you'd think, there was a fire when Hector was about thirteen. He had set it, purely because he didn't like his family's stand on issues, and the fact they stood so far above the people Hector associated with, and refused to really acknowledge these people, somehow. He also seized his dead adoptive family's money. He later would rejoin his biological family, composed of Ishmael and Remina Gibbs, who joined him in his pursuit for the Blessed Tear. Most notably, when confronted with the fact their son killed some sixty five people across the United States, Ishmael said this; "Oh, really? I'm disappointed...I thought he'd get to one hundred by now."

• Relevant Tropes:
• Abusive Grandfather: Elijah was horrible already, but his terrible abuse of Hector during his stay in the God's Grace Orphanage really throws Elijah even further down the Moral Event Horizon.
• Asshole Victim: Some of Hector's victims are so unsympathetic you just gotta wonder...
• Ax-Crazy: In Book III, at least. He conceals it well, but under the surface, he's seething, and cannot restrain himself very well.
• Badass Gay: Though Hector would object to being called gay, simply because it restricts his possibilities.
• Beneath the Mask: He wears a very goofy, outlandish mask...but under it, he's essentially going on his own Columbine Massacre, aiming to cause the end of the world just to assuage his own rage.
• Beware the Silly Ones: Initially, before his more sinister side showed itself. This is a guy who introduced himself to Matthew by saying; "Hey good looking, wanna have sex?" He also claims that his Locked into Strangeness silver hair gives him the wisdom of age...somehow...and even when trying to gruesomely murder Matthew by shooting any number of things at him, he stops to joke and quip mid fight. Did I mention the kill count earlier? It was off - because some of the things Hector shot people with made them not even leave behind a body.
  • Case in point, Matthew considers Hector one of his most dangerous enemies, even keeping in mind by this point he's fought both Nebiros - Serial Killer Monster Clown - and Sharon Tate Roman - operator of a New World Order conspiracy of powerful businessmen.
• Break Them by Talking: Hector's initial attempt at such a speech is so hilarious and goofy, Matthew outright dismisses it mid-way through. The next one...less so. Compare them:
  • "I want to break down all barriers! Pork whosoever you want, there is no silver spoon of sexual orientation! There is a straight mafia and a gay mafia dedicated to keeping the labels to restrict who can do who! I want to bring this down...can you honestly say that's a bad thing, can you? Or is your mind clouded with fiendish delusions of the system!?"
  • And... "Can you honestly look at the world behind us and say its right? Jackson White beats on some girl for not giving him what he wants from her, and he'll never be punished for it. These jackasses in the South can do whatever they want and they get a slap on the wrist! Those limp-wristed pieces of shit in Congress can do whatever they want in their districts - their little dictatorships - and nobody will really hold them to it unless its strictly criminal! Look back and see that Sharon Roman, that disgusting bitch, is not punished at all for her role! Can you look back at the world I'm going to erase, and say it was ever good!?"
• Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: He hides his true abilities at first, mostly to test the waters, but later on, he starts to show signs of not just greater strength, but also mental instability.
• Dangerously Genre-Savvy: He takes utterly no chances in matters - most of this is what impressed Cyber-Matthew. Hector doesn't wait for people to react to him and notice to start his activities.
• Eat the Rich: The guiding philosophy of Ephas Abjuration - "the powerful must now be devoured in the new magical age".
• The End of the World as We Know It: Hector's Obscured World would be devoid of celebration, devoid of people being recognized for their achievements. Its pretty hard to comprehend such a world, isn't it?
• Evil Orphan: Of his first family - though apparently it was a spur of the moment decision, and he didn't remember doing so afterwards.
• Extreme Omnisexual: There is nothing Hector would not tap. Lets leave it at that.
• Faux Affably Evil: He's really a very goofy kid with a ridiculous personality, who makes machine gun sounds when firing his guns...well, that's the front of it. Inside, he's a rage-dominated man who wants society to pay for "affixing him with so much rage."
• Five Bad Band: Hector's World's End Comrades fit this;
  • Big Bad: Hector himself.
  • The Dragon: Cyber-Matthew, his devoted lieutenant and the one responsible for a lot of higher level attacks.
  • Evil Genius: Briadant Ray, a revolutionary who took the place in Ephas to get his revolution done.
  • The Brute: Habnock, not exactly an intelligent man, but kept around due to his usefulness.
  • The Dark Chick: Zachaia Elmsdotter, a depraved woman from Gaia, who decided to join Hector's cause because it "spoke to her".
• Freudian Excuse: Lets just say 13 to 19 were not good years for Hector. Despite having a massive sum of money, he was utterly unwilling to use it yet. He lived in a district of the United States that had a "No Saying Gay" legislation which resulted in him being tormented throughout high school. He utterly mentally snapped after a jock trio strung him along, made him think he was up for sex when he was at his most desperate for any kind of intimacy, and then they basically dunked him into a muddy lake and tried to drown him to death. Only Ishmael's intervention saved him. After that "something in Hector changed forever."
  • And that is if the issues in the orphanage were not enough to count.
• Ho Yay: Not so implausibly, considering Hector's...tendencies...but he and Cyber-Matthew have a lot of this. He frets over Cyber-Matthew like a housewife, and Cyber-Matthew hugs him whenever Cyber-Matt returns home from a mission.
• Heel–Face Turn: After the Reset Button ending that restored everyone to life whom Hector had killed, Hector himself realized he was really no better than anyone he resented for making his life difficult, and that the Gibbs Family had been dominated by the same exact kind of hate he had faced. Hence, during Book IV, it took very little time to get Hector to defect from Elijah's forces.
• Knight Templar Big Brother: Do not threaten his baby sister. He goes a whole 'nother level of scary if that happens.
• Let's Get Dangerous!: When real danger is presented to him, and his course is challenged, he'll get really dead serious. The jokes will temporarily stop. He'll focus on his goal. And it turns out he's a good shot with those guns...
• Man Behind the Man: His parents are not only aware of what their son has been up to, they support him wholeheartedly. Ishmael demonstrates this by choking one of Hector's teenage tormentors to death, and then sending a tape with the teen being choked to death on it to said teenager's family, purely to shatter their spirit after two of their other children were killed by Hector.
• Master Swordsman: Surprisingly enough. While he's good with his guns, he has a whole sword style he secretly practices.
• The Mentally Disturbed: He sees demonic ghosts, there's the whole Doomsday Cult deal, and then there's his sheer devotion to the idea of overwriting the world...yeah, Hector needs some help.
• More than Mind Control: It is lightly inferred that Elijah might've done something to Hector that led to his decision to burn his adoptive family to death.
• Not-So-Harmless Villain: The goofy exterior hides a seriously fucked up individual, this is a guy who was willing to murder his own family just to get the finances he'd need for his later escapades. When this comes up, Matthew realizes he's dealing with a different kind of person than he thought. When he hears the whole scale of Hector's Evil Plan, he realizes this is even worse than Aaron Shayde's Nuclear Holocaust Plan. In spite of his exterior, Hector is basically a menacing cult leader who thinks absolutely nothing of doing anything for his end goal.
• Obfuscating Stupidity: Some of his antics are just an act, to what end, its unclear.
• Pet the Dog: His interactions with Katherine Daille. He knows she's traumatized, he knows their stories are similar...and he gives her a big hug the first time they meet.
  • There is also his little sister, who Hector still adores.
• The Power of Hate: It could be said Hate is basically all that is keeping Hector on his feet.
• Rage Quit: His whole scheme is essentially him doing this to reality.
• Reset Button: Hector's crimes are ultimately undone by Matthew's odd interaction with the Blessed Tear.
• Self-Made Orphan: See Evil Orphan above.
• Sword Beam: His is contrasted against Matthew's Aura Rave - his is called Hatred Edge.
• The Resenter: Hector is this so much - he hates that the teenage tormentors basically grew up to a happy, successful college life, and that he simply rotted.
• The Family That Slays Together: The Gibbs Family fits this so well, they basically do everything together, including planning The End of the World as We Know It. And as shown, Ishmael is not afraid to get his own hands dirty with a little murder and Mind Rape. There is a reason the Gibbs Family is described as "the family who has suffered so much, they have naught to live for but their own hatred for reality."
  • Remina Gibbs, despite appearing to be something like a Soccer Mom taking care of Hector's sister, is also involved in her son's "post-high school career", as she calls it. She has also used her Spell Core to create a tiny "planetoid" creature in someone's drink, which later ate its way out of the guy before trying to crash and explode on the local high school.
• Truth in Television: Sadly, Hector's Freudian Excuse is more plausible than you'd think.
• Villainous Breakdown: When Matthew successfully protects Clay from a hail of bullets from Ephas mooks.

—-"WHY!? WHY DOES HE DESERVE TO LIVE? You know what, fuck it, I'm killing him myself!!"

• Western Terrorists: His Ephas is basically this, complete with operating out of a dingy compound.
• White Hair, Black Heart: The black heart part was initially obscured by his goofy behaviors - and then it comes right out on its own in Book III.
• Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds: You cannot look at Hector's backstory and not just cry for how he never had a chance at a normal life.

edited 11th May '14 2:08:52 PM by NickTheSwing

Edit: I like Hector overall, but his abilities strike out a fair bit. I'm not sure how powerful his guns are, but I'd recommend keeping the magic under check.

I confess I dislike Katana, especially for Hector. It seems his most powerful asset is his magic, and with a Katana usually being a two-handed sword (Traditionally speaking, excluding Miyamoto Muashi's school using it with another blade), this does make it hard to carry the weapon and guns at the same time. I'd suggest two Khukri instead, as the short knives are designed to pull things into the cut (making cleaving strikes easier), as well as being just as sharp as Katana in their own right.

Apologies. I'm still new to this forum. >.< Zarin's mostly undeveloped due to keeping it blank as the story progresses. I have a general idea as to where he's going, but not exactly how he's getting there.

Name: Zarin the Vigilant

Age: 40 years old

Personality: Stoic in appearance, Zarin is prone to act friendly to those he knows. As a schemer, he secretly plans most of their deaths in meeting.

Abilities: Extremely skilled with a Halberd and Longsword. Enough to be considered Champion of the extreme Religious country's Papacy. Though he is strong in a fight, he is also cunning enough to know how to lead troops well. Able to hide his true appearance with illusions, keeping his gray skin and pure black sclera and yellow irises out of the view of the public.

Weaknesses: Being an armoured fighter, his main weakness is Magic conducting through his armour. Otherwise, his weakness is Aethyric Metal, prone to make his skin crawl off the bone if it can get through his armour.

Goals: Zarin serves the God of the Supernatural, as his Dragon. The God of the Supernatural wishes to become the only God of the realm, including killing the one who supports life itself existing.

Motivation: As a son of this God, his natural motivation is to rule under his father, and eventually rule the realm should his father choose to slumber, similar to the current God of Nature and Life.

Role in the story: Zarin forces a war between two established superpower countries, to distract the world from a growing problem of the routes to the afterlife being corrupted, so his father can feast upon the souls of the dead. Also giving a lot of souls for his father to claim, in the process. Eventually steals an artifact of power from the God of War, leaving the God powerless.

Backstory: Born to a human woman, Zarin was a monster from his very birth. His father slew the woman who carried him, raising the child himself. Eventually placed as an orphan within the Religious faction's church, Zarin's father's knowledge taught him how to win fights easily, guiding him toward the Religious militant. Gaining power rapidly, Zarin became Champion of the Dominion of the God of Justice, secretly working to add unrest there as his father requested.

Relevant Tropes: The Dragon Mouth of Sauron Category Traitor Divine Parentage Anti-Christ

edited 11th May '14 4:11:19 PM by NatRenderra

@Nick, when does your story come out, because, dear goodness, I want to read it. Hector is very, very well crafted, despite having the components of a pretty time-worn tropes and I want to see him in action.

@Nat, Zarin seems interesting, if a mite underdeveloped. I always like a schemer, especially one working from the inside out.

Edit: Ah. Sometimes that does happen with characters.

---

Cut for changes and repost.

edited 1st Nov '14 5:23:07 PM by UmLovely

RISE

Good overall. Although my first thought was "Magneto, only as a fighter, rather than a wizard". This might be a good thing, or a bad thing. I would ask though how complete is her control over the metal covering, and what type of metal is it? If her ability is merely an on/off/partial covering with metal, she probably doesn't have much control over it, and unless it's a very exotic metal, it should provide her with a few more weaknesses, especially if its merely a covering over her body, rather than changing the entire body into metal: electric shock, as the metal would conduct the electricity into her body(although it would protect against tasers, as the prongs wouldn't embed, a cattle prod or power line would still work)and excessive heat or cold, as metal is a thermal conductor as well.

Geez, Nick, how many Big Bads do you have? It seems like every page on this forum has a new Big Bad for New Dawn. It's not a problem, except I, like Um Lovely, would like to read it. As for Hector, I'll echo others and say that I have issues with the katana. Specifically, he has two other weapon styles that clash with it: he has the Imagine Magnums for overkill magic firepower(literally) and his ghoulish strength is for close up brutality. The katana feels redundant in that context, being a close range precision weapon. I understand your desire for katana, so that Hector and Mathew can have a sword duel. So I would suggest one of two options: One, the katana is a seal containing his ghoulish nature(a la Blue Exorcist), and the Hate Edge is merely the concentrated release of that hateful essence. Option two: pistol bayonets. Yes, they are (well, were) a real thing.

Here's mine: (And I'm kind of cheating, doing three at once, sorry. But these three always act as a group, and I can't really separate them.)

Name: Tiberius J. Preston, Grunewald, "Old Sawbones"

Age: 20/~300(but as an elf, this puts him in the range of 10-16)/Unknown, but old

Personality:

-Tiberius thinks that the world revolves around him. He is loud, brash, aggressive, and arrogant. He is used to being offered whatever he wants, and taking everything not offered anyway, because he feels he's entitled to it. This includes people, even to the extent of Everything That Moves.

-Grunewald is quiet and reserved, but unabashedly devoted and loyal to Tiberius even though they two have only recently met(at the beginning of the story). He also has an odd dynamic with Sawbones. He will act servile and subservient, unless she suggests something that he feels is contrary to Tiberius's desires or best intentions, in which case he will strenuously and loudly object, until either Tiberius decides the matter in his favor or tells him to stop, or the suggested action has been taken, at which point he will return to his servile mannerisms.

-Sawbones is always crotchety and irritable. She also is continually drinking or looking for something to drink, and will always have some complaint against the quality of the liquor.

Abilities:

-Tiberius is a large, bulky former collegiate-level boxer and wrestler, who is unafraid of pain or injury. His ferocity is usually enough to make up for his lack of real combat experience. Sawbones has also taught him how to make Homunculi from his shed blood, but these are based on his focus and will, and so are small, slow, and lethargic, unless Tiberius is being powered-up by Innes. If so, the humunculi become larger, faster, smarter, and stronger.

-Grunewald is an elf: as such his green skin allows him to blend in well in forested areas, has immunity to most poisons, enhanced hearing, and has elongated arms and fingers for his size. He is also mildly telepathic, able to sense the presence of sapient creatures near him and with great effort he can scan the thoughts of others.(This is not mind reading, as he can and has been tricked by misleading surface thoughts e.g. an opponent envisions striking high, and then strikes low, evading his prescient block.) Also, when powered-up by Innes, his fingers grow into claws that also exude a mild tranquilizer/paralytic/hallucinogenic agent, that reacts violently with metal.

-Sawbones can petrify her hair, and then animate the bone-like results to defend her self. She is proficient in poisoncraft, and can also heal her allies, although it is a very painful processes. She can also produce Innes from her body. Innes is a red and green humonculus, whom she states was made from Tiberius and Grunewald's "contributions". Innes can make physical contact with either of the two, their physical attributes increase.

Weaknesses:

-Tiberius likes to fight. He will often avoid killing or finishing blows, not out of morality, but to extend the fight. To him, a fight is not a text of his dominance, its an exhibition of it. He is also prideful and arrogant, but comes apart at the seams if he loses. He lacks real combat training, meaning he has no special skill with weapons and lacks both tactical ability at a greater than personal level and situational awareness, so he can be blindsided by multiple opponents rather easily.

-Grunewald fights to win. He wants to share in Tiberius's dominance and victory, so he will make the fight a spectacle. If given the choice between fighting in a private room, and fighting in a populated common room, he will choose the latter, even if it is a tactical disadvantage. If Tiberius can see him, he will use the flashy over the practical, trying to increase his standing in his "friend's" eyes. While he is competent at keeping multiple enemies at bay, he struggles to land decisive blows, even against a single opponent, unless powered by Innes. He also can be very sensitive to seemingly innouclus things: the touch of honey, the smell of burning or rotting flesh, and close proximity to Sawbones all make him violently ill.

- Sawbones fights to cause pain. She will delay killing blows to make her victims suffer more. Also, she is reluctant to summon Innes as it doing so saps her other abilities, leaving her unable to use them and defenseless while summoning it, and until the humuniculus returns into her body. Her abilities remain weakened for some time afterward, dependent on how long the humuniculus was "out". The act of summoning also causes her great pain.

Goals:

-Tiberius wants to do what he wants, fight who he wants, take what he wants, and fuck who he wants, not necessarily in that order.

-Grunewald wants to make Tiberius happy.

-Sawbones wishes to manipulating Tiberius into following "the plan", the contents of which aren't revealed until the very end.

Motivation:

-Tiberius mearly wishes to take what he feels he is entitled to: everything he wants.

-Grunewald doesn't want to be alone again.

-Sawbone's motivations are unknown.

Roles: Tiberius is a rival to the hero, Lloyd. He could be the Big Bad, except that he's small fry compared to the real dangers;

Grunewald is a more intellectual rival for Lloyd, as well as a more classical rival for Lloyd's apprentice/protectorate Aruna [spoiler: Lloyd actually met Grunewald before Tiberius did. When Grunewald begged Lloyd to take him with him, Lloyd refused, stating that he did not know what he was going to do, or where he would go, and did not want to be responsible for anyone else. Lloyd now feels that this was his greatest failure.];

Sawbones is The Corruptor of the other two.

Backstory:

-Tiberius was born to rich parents, who spoiled him unconditionally. As a result, he did not "play well" with others, always demanding he get his way. When sent to a posh boarding school, he became the bully-in-residence all but immeadiately. The only thing that wasn't handed to him were his boxing and wrestling victories, but as he relished fighting and had the best tutors money could by, he excelled there, brushing off losses by points or disqualification for fighting dirty as "favoritism". All until college, were he suffered his first real defeat, when he was knocked out cold in a boxing match. He began to mope, until a strange portal opened up in front of him and swallowed him into a different world. As he saw this world, he realized that is was merely his for the taking.

-Grunewald's earliest memories were of being run out of his home village for being "an unnatural abomination" into a dark forbiding forest. There he met Sawbones, who tried to bring him around to his way of thinking. Unfortunetly for her, her presence made him violently ill(to the point that he ruined several sets of her clothing with vomit). Thus she too left him alone. Eventually, he met a human, dazed and somewhat disoriented, clad only in a rough brown robe. The two made a good impression on each other, but when the brown-cloaked man left, he refused to take Grunewald with him. Later, a different human, Tiberius came, and allowed Grunewald to follow him.

-Sawbones's backstory is unknown.

Relevant Tropes:

-Blood Knight: Tiberius

-Everthing That Moves: Tiberius

-Freudian Trio: Tiberius is the Ego. Functionally, Grunewald is the Id(caring about food, shelter, etc.) while Sawbones is the Superego, caring about (and knowing) the plan. Morally, Grunewald is the Superego, cling to shreds of morality, while Sawbones advocates that Tiberius act on his impulses and desires, while subtly manipulating him into doing her dark plan.

-If It's You, It's Okay: Inverted. Everyone, man, woman, and child, is fair game for Tiberius's pleasure, domination, and humiliation to feed his ego, except for Grunewald.

-Morality Pet: Oddly, Grunewald is this to Tiberius. In addition to placing him off-limits to his normal need for dominance and self-gratification, Tiberius will ensure that Grunewald has as good a time as he does, or at least that Grunewald experiences what would satisfy Tiberius's desires and pleasures.

-The Corruptor: Sawbones, to Tiberius, encouraging him to throw away morality and do what he pleases.

(Hopefully, I've changed enough that my inspiration doesn't show through)

edited 12th May '14 8:50:55 AM by Sharur

Nihil assumpseris, sed omnia resolvere!

@Gaon I don't have the heart to call Primus a villain. An antagonist, maybe, but not villainous, not in my opinion anyway. The thing that bugs me, and it's probably the only thing, though a big one, is that, how did he come to the conclusion that God is a heartless asshole when Jesus died? I mean, if he held that viewpoint prior to the knowledge gained from the Grail, I can see that happening, but it sounds like he was just an ordinary Roman officer who didn't care much about the entire human suffering thing. Was it the sudden exposure to the universe's worth of knowledge mixed with Jesus's death? Was it maybe something else? I'm genuinely curious.

@Nick Aside from the katana (I personally avoid the weapon when I can, in videogames or writing), I'd say Hector's a villain I can get behind. He has that classic extremist vibe, which I really like.

On the foundation of glass a dream is built. And, like glass, it shatters.

Good to see you again, Sharur. Tiberius, Grunewald and Sawbones are a truly interesting trio. Hmmm...there are three of them, so let me sort of parcel out what I think of them on an individual basis.

• Tiberius—He seems like the pretty standard version of The Brute; not exactly Dumb Muscle, but from your descriptions I don't exactly get the impression that he engages in complex thoughts other than gratifying his "baser" desires on a daily basis. Still, you showed that he isn't completely heartless, as he does have a soft-spot for Grunewald, so that makes him a rather well-balanced character in my opinion.

• Grunewald—I'm a little curious as to what makes him an "abomination" to his people? Was it the ability to sense living things, or his green skin, his hallucinogenic finger-venom or some other trait? He is an elf, so I expect to find all sorts of weirdness there. I just wasn't sure what is an innate part of being an elf in your setting and what makes him an aberrant from the others. You did an excellent job portraying the mindeset of someone who experienced All the Other Reindeer at an early age.

• Sawbones—She seems to be some sort of Humanoid Abomination as she made a psychically sensitive Grunewald vomit and can manipulate her hair in such a manner. Her motives (or rather lack thereof) are interesting. Sorry I can't say much about her, but she remains tantalizingly mysterious.

Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake. — Edgar Walllace

Thanks for the review. You hit the nail right on with your first question. Primus was a normal soldier, a man who didn't care much for anything and just tried to live his life.

But when he drank from the graill...well, try to imagine a common Roman soldier who has no idea what Jesus' whole talk is about, worships the Greek gods and such, suddenly being hit with a vision of both the enlightened ones in Heaven and the condemned souls of Hell, with the existance of beings far beyond our wordly comprehension and much more universal knowledge than one can dream of. And, most of all, that he had just sent the son of God to his death.

Essentially the man's mind collapsed in a Heroic BSoD / Go Mad from the Revelation of sorts.

Another important thing is that Christianism interprets Jesus' death as a necessary sacrifice of sorts. Primus interpreted it as God sending the savior only to Yank the Dog's Chain of humanity. Hence Primus' belief that God is a heartless tyrant.

Coupled with his recent discovery that there were far bigger things than humanity out there and the fact he couldn't commit suicide, he shaped his objective and goals to a different path: Dethrone the tyrant god.

You could almost say his entire character is a Roaring Rampage of Revenge against God. In fact, he'd be almost heroic if he weren't uterrly wrong and completely genocidal.

edited 12th May '14 6:57:05 PM by Gaon

"All you Fascists bound to lose."

More Clockwalkers villains!

• Name: Michelli Replicas, or "Butchers"

• Age: Their general age is around 1 year old. Variations exist in some individuals but that's merely a matter of adding or subtracting a few months.

• Personality: The sole objective of the Butchers is to kill everything that is not them. Because of that programming, they will viciously attack humans, elves, nuriel, dwarves and even animals. Once a Butcher has engaged a victim, she will not stop until she or her target is dead. They are incredibly tenacious, willing to tear down walls or doors in order to pursue their quarry, though they will become distracted if another living creatures crosses their field of vision. Despite their murderous nature, the Butchers are incredibly serene, rarely changing their almost drugged facial expressions. They are mostly mindless, unable to form coherent strategies and plans or even speak aside from a few half-formed words and mumbled syllables. While they were created to destroy the enemies of the Kingdom of Ylati, their Omnicidal Maniac nature and immense numbers make them an overwhelming threat to everyone in their path.

• Abilities: Butchers are incredibly strong; a single Butcher is enough to tear a human apart like a rag-doll, and a group of them working together is enough to quickly rip through concrete walls. Butchers are capable of short bursts of immense speed, catching targets unaware. Though their flesh is easily torn or penetrated, their skeletons are made of high-quality steel, making their "bones" very hard to break. Butchers can sense and pinpoint the heartbeats and heat-signatures of living creatures even those in hiding, better allowing them to seek their prey. The Butchers also have no pain-sensors and they do not even register injuries as important.

• Weaknesses: Unlike Michelli and Drasil, the minds of the Butchers are extremely simplistic with only the kill order implanted. They will abandon a target in order to pursue a closer one of they detect it, even if that closer target is an animal. They have no grasp of subtlety or planning, thus making it easy to avoid or fight one in single combat. Like Michelli their central processor lies within their chests; a sufficient wound to their chests will render them inactive.

• Goals: Extinguish all life in their path until there is nothing left.

• Motivation: Their creators, the mechanists at the Royal Technologies Institute programmed them in that manner under orders from the Crown. This was in preparation for a preemptive strike on the lands outside the Miasma that separates Ylati and its neighbors from the rest of the world.

• Role In The Story: Diabolus ex Machina—Their activation by furious, desperate and ignorant Kingdom loyalists during the Final Battle makes the situation worse for both sides of the conflict.

• Backstory: After Michelli's capture during the devastating defeat suffered by Helios at the battle of the Far Reaches, the girl was transported back to the Ylati's capital, Kes'trina and quickly taken to the Royal Technologies Institute. There Michelli was placed under the supervision of Dr. Matteo Rossini and Dr. Lunetta Baldi. After subjecting her to a seemingly endless procession of tests, procedures and examinations to determine her inner workings, the two set to work with their team to reproduce her creator's work without the use of magic. After a year's time, the replicas had all been made. Later, during the invasion of Kes'trina by Helios remnants and rebelling members of the Exterior Guard, an angry and frightened Dr. Baldi activated the replicas, ignoring Dr. Rossini's admonitions to wait until they had at least been battle-tested and shown to the proper inspectors.

• Relevant Tropes

• Achilles' Heel: Their central processor, the small computer which contains their programming is located directly behind their breastbone. Destroying it will immediately result in a collapsed pile of nonthreatening metal.

• AI Is A Crap Shoot: Subverted; the program downloaded into the Butchers through their Brain/Computer Interface was accepted flawlessly and they acted exactly according to it. It is part of a running theme in Clockwalkers; many of the antagonistic A.I. are doing exactly what they were created to do, it is merely that it runs counteractive to the protagonists' goals.

• Always Chaotic Evil: They were never meant to be anything but indiscriminate killing machines. The only reason that it even crossed Dr. Baldi's mind to activate them in the first place was because of a fundamental lack of information sharing between the mechanists and the programmers.

• Ape Shall Never Kill Ape: The Butchers will not attack one another or other Clockwalkers like Drasil or Michelli as it goes against their programming to harm one of their number.

• Barbie Doll Anatomy: The Butchers are completely naked, but this is minimized by the fact that they have no genitalia or really other secondary sex characteristics, making them actually rather androgynous, as opposed to their template Michelli who is obviously female.

• Body Horror: They resemble Michelli in terms of being pale-skinned, red-haired and with the exact same face but that is where it ends. Their skin is white to the point of being translucent with raised glowing blue veins where the liquid porzite circulates to fuel them. Their skin is actually more fragile than a human or Clockwalker's, often leading to large rips through which metal and exposed muscle can be seen.

• Cannon Fodder: The Butchers were intended to be a devastating enemy, but certainly not on an individual basis. Though strong and fast, their lack of intelligence and distractibility makes them poor combatants in a one-on-one situation.

• Oh, Crap!: Everyone's reaction to them is horrified confusion as they sort of came out of left field—even for the experienced soldiers of the Palace Guard and the capital Peace Officers, but the most definitive example of this would be from Dr. Baldi herself when their first action after being activated is for one of them to take down one of the technicians with a flying tackle before the rest of them begin brutally attacking the entire team...

• Dissonant Serenity: Many of them have calm or simply disinterested expressions on their faces as they rip apart, kick into a pulp, strangle or simply bite to death any living thing in sight. Justified because one, they have no real emotions except for the drive to kill, and two their faces aren't really designed for real movement even if they did have feelings.

• Dumb Muscle: They aren't meant to think. They're meant to kill.

• Exact Words: When Dr. Baldi and Dr. Rossini and the team working under them were creating the Butchers, they knew that they were making an army to destroy the enemy. What they didn't understand was that their creations were programmed to see "the enemy" as everything that isn't them.

• Feel No Pain: The Butchers have no pain receptors so they don't even register injuries as anything alarming. The first example of this was one of them attempting to punch Lizzia Rossini. She dodged and the thing simply drove its fist through a wall breaking all the fingers on that hand. It merely tried again without even acknowledging the wound.
  • They are also stabbed, slashed, shot, beaten and kicked multiple times by their victims. Their lack of a pain response is what makes them even more dangerous when trying to fight them, as they don't even hesitate for a second.

• Fridge Horror: An in-universe example. None of the increasingly desperate people at the Royal Technologies Institute or the Palace understand why the programmers were ordered to give the Butchers such a broad view of what "the enemy" is. It isn't until Marco Zaccheria of the Exterior Guard captures Earl Fredrigo Whitmyer, one of those knowledgeable about the Ancient Conspiracy that the reason is revealed: The Butchers were intended to be unleashed on the lands outside the Miasma that made Ylati, the elven forests and the dwarf kingdom the supposed only survivors of the Rain. It was a preemptive strike in case those other lands gained awareness of the three kingdoms and opposed Ylati's goal of "bringing back the age of magic" through mass-sacrifice. There was no reason to give the Butchers specific targets because they planned to simply drop them in the other territories and let them run amok.

• Gone Horribly Right: The Butchers were programmed to kill everyone and everything that isn't them, and the program worked flawlessly, except...

• Gone Horribly Wrong: They weren't unleashed on the right people.

• Kill All Humans

• Elite Mooks: Of an extremely deadly and unpredictable kind.

• From Bad to Worse: Suppose you are a Palace Guard or a Peace Officer in Kes'trina. The day begins with La Résistance terrorists mysteriously appearing within the capitals walls and wreaking havoc in the streets, then the Badass Army Exterior Guard join them by besieging the walls from the outside, people are dying left and right...and then an army of identical androgynous females begin killing everyone in sight and due to the situation there is literally nowhere you can run to escape.
  • Worse if you are a civilian in Kes'trina, this is all happening in the midst of a previously ordinary day in Ylati's oldest and safest city which has grown so complacent over the seven thousand years it has existed that emergency evacuation plans for city-wide attacks don't even exist except as drills for fires or other natural disasters.

• Lightning Bruiser: They are very fast, able to put on short bursts of speed and will sometimes resort to flying tackles and leaps if they gauge that their target is too far away for a simple snatch and grab or is close to escaping.

• Nonhumans Lack Attributes

• Perpetual-Motion Monster: Butchers can have their limbs blown or cut off or even their heads destroyed, but as long as their central processor remains intact, they will remain more or less functional.

• Phlebotinum Battery: They are powered by a liquefied version of porzite—the powerful mineral that maintains many devices on Rica. The reason this had to be done is because they could not find a way to animate them without magic, unlike Drasil and Michelli who are mostly magic-based creations rather than mechanical.

• Poor Communication Kills: The entire problem with the Butchers running amok on the Institute and then infiltrating the Palace via the underground connecting tunnels would never have happened if there had been better communication between those in charge of building them and those tasked with programming them. Justified however, as the entire project was on a need-to-know basis. Still would have saved a lot of lives though.

• Psycho Prototype: An entire army of them, though the "psycho" part is mostly due to their programming.

• Hulk Speak: Some of them are capable of broken speech, such as "Kill...enemy...Ylati...Kingdom...enemies...defend..." It is unclear what they are even trying to say, though it is implied that some of them had the potential to be upgraded into "leaders" of sorts, had the program been allowed to continue on to its later stages.

• Tragic Monster: Michelli at least thinks of them as this, as she feels somewhat responsible for their existence because they were created using her as a model. She visibly winces when they are harmed, though she intellectually understands that they are murderous abominations that have to be put down.
  • Strangely, though he doesn't outwardly show it Cornelius Jinnette, Michelli's creator, seems to think this as well, as he declined the opportunity to fight them with his considerable magic, leaving it to the soldiers instead. .

edited 15th May '14 8:55:03 AM by Swordofknowledge

Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake. — Edgar Walllace

I think I'll try this with a villain I have plan to use in story I actually want to get published some day.

I should note this story is partly serious, but doesn't take itself a hundred percent seriously, and pokes fun at superhero cliches. It's MEANT to be cliche fun that's aware of how cliche it is but still hopefully have strong characters.

This guy would more or less be intended to be more akin to a Golden Age Mad Scientist type villain while his fellow Big Bad would be more of a Power Rangers esque villain. The villain after him would be reference classic Alien Invasion films and so on.

Name: Conner Trenton/Devastation Age: 35 Personality: Conner Trenton genuinely believes the world would be better if he controlled it, but also is an egomaniac. He has a flair for the dramatic, including intentionally invoking some cliches, particularly when it comes to his creations and his naming of them (Titanadon's name was chosen purely 'because it sounds like a monster from a kaiju film' and she's a giant monster). He shares his body with another entity named Devastation (who both insist is a modern translation of the entity's name rather than it's true one) which may either be a split personality or another entity. It encourages his actions as being what's best for the world, but also tries to worsen his actions as time goes on, slowly turning him from a Well-Intentioned Extremist to more destructive actions. Conner can make complex plans and manipulate his enemies, but his own theatrics do get in the way. He is still not to be taken lightly due to his vast resources and dangerous weapons.

Compared to Conner, Devastation is dead serious about his's actions, being almost robotic in his mentality and logic. It is also willing to kill and encourages Conner to do so if needed. Devastation and Conner himself perceive Devastation as a god.

Neither persona take their plans being foiled very well, but Conner manages to maintain his composure better. Abilities: Conner is a super genus level intellect who desires world domination. He has advanced skills in genetics and robotics and access to a powerful mutagen that serves as a major plot point of the series. Conner has designed massive war machines and is responsible for both the hero's Sixth Ranger (a genetically engineered Super-Soldier based off dinosaur DNA he created but his niece freed and adopted before he could be programmed) and his fellow main antagonist Titanadon. Conner also is a Villain with Good Publicity and extremely wealthy due to avoiding Cut Lex Luthor a Check. He has no problems hiring mercenaries and equiping them with advanced technology. The fact his enemy is a child is no problem to him.

Conner himself has been exposed to the mutagen, which may have created his Devastation persona, and as a result possesses electrical powers and super strength, but rarely engages in battle himself, preferring to use his minions or pilot a machine of some sort, which he is skilled at. However, during the final battle he'd mutate himself using a refined form of the mutagen further giving him far more powerful electrical powers and immense strength for the final battle. However, this also results in Devastation taking further control and makes his form unstable. Weaknesses: Conner's love of theatrics often gets in the way of his brilliance and at times his creations border on Awesome, yet Impractical. He also needs to keep his Villain with Good Publicity status intact, so he can't afford to take actions that can be traced back to him. In his human form. Devastation can also be singleminded in his actions.

In his One-Winged Angel form, his primary weakness would be his unstable form making him incredibly unstable and if the proper actions are taken, he could become completely unstable and explode. Goals: He wants to take over the world (Of course!). Motivation: He honestly believes the world would be better under his control and that it's the best way to help humanity. Devastation is also manipulating and corrupting him further, but the persona also believe that their actions will be the best for life to thrive. Role in the story: He's the Big Bad and his actions trigger the entire plot of the first story. He and his creation Titanadon serve as two very different threats to the heroes and humanity as a whole, with Trenton being more akin to Lex Luthor while Titanadon could be compared to a Power Rangers villain. Backstory: Conner Trenton lives in a world were superheroes and villains were once common place until one day, they all vanished for reasons that are eventually revealed. Trenton is essentially the first supervillain of the Second Age of Heroes. He was once a brilliant scientist who desired to better the world with his intellect. However, at some point, he was exposed to a mysterious mutagen that both resulted in him sharing a body with an entity named Devastation and his start down the dark side. While maintaining his status as a philanthropist to maintain public opinion of himself, he began to work creating weapons to conquer the world.

In the process, a prototype, dragon-like Super-Soldier created from dinosaur DNA was stolen from his lab by his niece, Megan, who was aware of her uncle's actions and sought to undermine them and escape his influence. The creature, named Logan, would be involved in several tangles with Conner's forces, which begins what would be known as 'the Second Age of Heroes', where new heroes and villains would begin to emerge into a world were they'd been absent for several years.

Cut to the present, Conner begins the final version of the same program that created Logan, a massive kaiju-like mutant he dubbed Titanadon (by virtue of it sounding like a kaiju name due to his love of theatrics). Titanadon is essentially a living mutagen factory designed to both be the primary weapon of his take over, but also used to create an army of mutants. However, Titanadon's mutations result in her becoming far smarter than Trenton intended and escaping confinement, also setting off a mutagenic explosion due to her nature that transforms several creatures in the surrounding area, including a young boy named Tommy, into powerful, and more importantly sapient, mutants. Titanadon is also heavily wounded in the blast and retreats underground to regenerate, but begins attacking mankind with mutants she creates in revenge for what Trenton did to him.

Seeking to contain and recapture Titanadon, Trenton's forces frequently butt heads with the heroe's as frequently as the now vengeful Titanadon's, as he's intrigued by the fact the main hero has the ability to reverse the mutation. Relevant Tropes:

• Beware the Silly Ones: Is a Large Ham and gleefully invokes and exploits cliches for his own amusement, but is still a super genus capable of constructing a giant robot that could destroy a city and piloting it himself.
• Big Bad: The first main antagonist.
  • Big Bad Ensemble: With Titanadon.
• Brains and Brawn: Conner has this dynamic with both Devastation (who is more focused on brute force) and Titanadon.
• Cliché Storm: Invoked. The guy is aware of cliches and enjoys invoking them.
• Disc-One Final Boss: Is the villain of the first story, but another would show up after him.
• Evil Genius: Is incredibly intelligent and most of his minions are using things he's created.
• Genre Savvy: Is fully aware of the type of world he's in and enjoys every second of it.
• Hidden Villain: Devastation is known only to Conner himself.
• Knight of Cerebus: Devastation is far more serious than Conner and come off as this, as if there's any comedy to him it'd be due to being the Comically Serious given his host. Any plans that are solely Devastations are methodical and pragmatic.
• Knight Templar: Devastation tends more towards this than his host does.
• Large Ham: Conner has a love of theatrics and invoking cliches. He named Titanadon Titanadon purely because he thought it sounded like a cool kaiju movie name.
• Narm Charm: He's very much INTENDED to be cheesy and to be a blast to watch because of it.
• One-Winged Angel: Does this during the final battle by consuming refined mutagen.
• Pragmatic Villainy: The reason he doesn't act much directly is to maintain his Villain with Good Publicity status.
• Sealed Inside a Person-Shaped Can: Devastation insists he's this.
• Shock and Awe: His primary superpower.
• Split Personality/Demonic Possession: Devastation is one of these.
• Vile Villain, Saccharine Show: Devastation is this.
• Villain with Good Publicity: Invoked. He intentionally sets himself up as one of these and the world sees him as a brilliant inventor trying to better the world.
• Well-Intentioned Extremist: Both are this.

It's good form (and how the thread works) to critique the last character before adding your own description.

Nihil assumpseris, sed omnia resolvere!

Terminators! No, seriously, that's the vibe I get from these guys, only that they're way more gruesome about the whole murder everyone thing. These are my favorite type of Elite Mook; scary and extremely impersonal. Nearly all of my older unfinished stories have these in some form or another, and the Butchers here remind me of a few of them.

Speaking of old, unfinished stories...

Name: Renard Lumirale, "Renard of the Light", Archchancellor of Garilia

Age: 24

Personality: Renard can be night and day. In the presence of her friends and those she holds dear, she's warm, friendly, quite outgoing and even funny. In the presence of those who she doesn't hold dear, she's anything but warm and friendly. It often becomes an exercise in futility identifying which side of her is actually genuine. Regardless, there's always an air of condescendence around her. If there's any unchanging thought in her ever shifting and calculating mind, it's that she deems herself, her bloodline, and her city the 'glorious' Garilia of the Magi ,superior.

Abilities: Conjuration of spirits and complete control over them. Renard sees numbers and codes in spirits, the combinations that create life, or cause life to cease to exist. Spirits serve her without question, and when fully manifest can b an army unto themselves. Renard is also a master magus herself, well-versed in light magic, her family's signature craft. Lastly, the spirit energy she freely manipulates also disallows her from truly dying, as is evident after her fatal encounter with her father years ago.

Weaknesses: The spirit that keeps Renard alive doesn't actually give her life, only an imitation of it. Over time, without the ability to feel anything, from comfort to pain and agony, Renard is driven mad by the unnatural state, not dead, not truly alive. Disruption of spirit manipulation (e.g. by way of divine interference or exorcism) can also harm her very easily.

Goals: First, to maintain Garilia and to restore life to its guardian deity the Iron Imfatius, a machine divine. When that became impossible, she sought to sacrifice the entire city and those that have corrupted it to Imfatius, hoping to resurrect the deity at the cost of everything else.

Motivation: Revenge against those who wronged her and her city, and restoration of the god she worships.

Role: One of the villains.

Backstory: The Lumirale familiy is famous for its members' aptitude with light magic. Secretly, however, it also dabbles in the spirit art, a practice disdained by the denizens and the world at large. Renard has always been a peculiar case. She's a mage prodigy since her youth, that much was certain. Some even say her magical aptitude was beyond her father, himself a great magus in a city full of them. Daughter to the then Archchancellor, high expectations plagued Renard, but she delivered with her capability and loyalty to the city and the Iron Imfatius, Garilia's guardian who remained dormant beneath the city.. When she graduated from the Anzus Academy of Magus, however, she discovered an unpleasant truth; her father, Leigrad the Archchancellor, and his close friend Councillor Lances, conspired to steal the essence of Imfatius, effectively killing it and robbing the city of its protector. She confronted him, only for the confrontation to turn into an all out fight to the death. While she managed to kill her father, the wounds he inflicted on her left her dying as well, and she must resort to the art of spirit energy, draining from the remaining essence of the dead, to keep herself alive. Renard managed to return her father to life as well, or rather, a mimic of life, keeping him in perpetual coma, with the story of him mysteriously falling ill to cover the trail. From there, she sought mend the city and restore it to its former glory as she must continue to watch Garilia falling to chaos, threatened with war from the outside and corruption from the inside. When all seemed to be for naught, Renard aimed to end it all and awaken the Iron, hoping to cleanse the city one last time, that Imfatius may one day grant the city's new life.

Tropes

And I Must Scream: Renard may be alive, but she can't feel anything. Pain, pleasure, comfort, hunger it's all the same to her. She can only mimic the reaction accordingly through observation and superhuman sense granted to her through the spirits that feed her, but as a human being, she's incapable of feeling anything. She also inflicted this on her father by way of trapping him in a living but helpless body. He's fully aware, but couldn't actually do anything.

The Archmage: Certainly one of the most powerful mages in the city.

Beam Spam: This and Teleport Spam are her forte.

Big Bad Friend: She's not a big bad per se, but she started out as a seemingly benevolent ruler who is on a very good term with the city's other master mage Cathas the Shieldmage, the hero. By the end, she saw him as nothing but obstacle and tried to sacrifice him along with her enemies. The same was true for her once best friend, the innocent Chaud Lances, daughter of Councillor Lances, who had nothing to do with the conspiracy, and is the heroine.

Deus est Machina: The Iron Imfatius, Garilia's guardian deity who looks like a giant golem, that Renard worships.

Immortality: Partially type 4 and 5. That the spirit energy can keep her 'alive' and functional at all, as well as retaining sentience, owe much to her indomitable will to live on. Her technically dead body functions well enough and doesn't rot. Physical means can't kill her, but anything tampering with spirit manipulation can.

Insane Troll Logic: She honestly believed that by awakening the Iron she can cleanse the city, that it may be rebuilt. Even accounting for her willingness to die in the process, there's still no guarantee that Imfatius will actually help with anything but slaughtering the city's denizens wholesale. Renard came to this conclusion at all because she's too desperate.

Light Is Not Good: Oh so much. The light magic she wields, specifically, is in the form of Beam Spam, with the chief property of burning all it touches to the bone.

The Magocracy: She hails from one such.

Our Liches Are Different: For all intent and purpose, she's a lich. The only thing of traditional liches she lacks is a phylactery.

Revenge Before Reason: The 'betrayal' by her father and his conspirators over time drove her over the edge. She now seeks to exact vengeance, even if it will cost her the city.

Woman In White: Her attire leans toward the bleached tone. Also, the light magic she tends to use.

edited 26th May '14 1:00:18 AM by arreimil

On the foundation of glass a dream is built. And, like glass, it shatters.

Quite a complex story you've got there. But I like her! I think her loyalty to the Iron Imfatius makes her a little tragic, and it's interesting to see her choose the city over her relation to her father. Her plan to revive the Iron Imfatius also sounds very similar to the villain I'm posting. :P

Name: Lord Valkon. King of the South, Vol Thros (literally, "ash god")

Age: Around 1,000 to 1,800 years old.

Personality: Valkon shows little emotion to his enemy, but to his people he shows great passion and patriotism for their collective cause. He's an elf that is always willing to listen, but refuses to bend his own principles to any. He's a villain with great responsibilities and conscience, who uses force and violence because it is the only thing he knows the world will listen to. His age led to him being very sagely and slow-tempered, having learned about pretty much everything in life to be bothered by such things.

Abilities: Valkon has Immortality, more specifically a Purpose-Driven Immortality, to finally grant his people an era of peace. He is unkillable and is both a skilled warrior and mage.

His advanced age has made him very intelligent, and he pretty much single-handedly lifted his nation from Medieval Stasis to discover things way beyond any other nation, the discovery of flight to be one of them.

He is also both the ruler of his people and their high priest, and is backed by a national army that doubles as a well-organised group of holy warriors.

Weaknesses: By the time of the story, he has slowly waned from his glorious role. Now that his master plan is coming to fruition, he has gone weary enough of the world and of his battle that he only does it for the sake of his people, and to get it done and over with already.

Goals: Valkon's plan is twofold - to arrange a mass exodus for his nation to the land up north (where the main characters are) that they may live new lives after their land has been ravaged by war. If it means he has to take it by force, then so be it.

Second is that this exodus is tied into the local prophecy that is centre to their beliefs, that Valkon must reawaken the god of his people, Ihil Thros from the prophesied north so that he may lead his believers to a new era of prosperity.

Motivations: Valkon was at first motivated by his unerring loyalty to the hammer god, Ihil Thros, chosen to be his prophet as the king of his nation. Soon, his focus shifted towards his people, and his care for their future outweighed his grandiose religious fervour.

Roles: The Big Bad of the story, or at least the first part.

Backstory: Long ago, when he reigned as king over the ash elves, Lord Valkon was chosen by their venerated deity, Ihil Thros, to be his chosen prophet. Tying into their most important holy texts and prophecies, Valkon is said to be the central figure in ending this age and beginning a new one. Because of this, he is highly respected by his people, who obediently serve is orders as those from Ihil Thros' own mouth. As the prophecy states, Valkon is said to go to a promised land to the north, which will be where the nation will gather for the turning of the age. There, he is to be present to summon Ihil Thros himself, who will then usher in a new era of paradise for the ash elves.

The only problem is that this promised land is already settled, and its local Empire will not allow something like a mass exodus right through their doors. Given Valkon's conviction, though, he knows he has no other choice but to fulfill his role in executing the single greatest moment in ash elf history. If it means that he has to push out everyone in that Empire to get there, or summon Ihil Thros amongst a mountain of foreign corpses, then he has to do it.

Relevant Tropes:

Purpose-Driven Immortality: As the prophet of Ihil Thros, Valkon is granted immortality by the deity and cannot die until he has fulfilled his role. However, it's heavily implied that his life is now bonded to the hammer god himself, so it's possible his life may endure even beyond that.

Well-Intentioned Extremist: Of course.

Necessarily Evil: Over time, Valkon begins to realise the blood he has to shed to bring his people peace. He also begins to have doubts about his faith. Ihil Thros' words were that "Our people are the new creation that emerges from the forge - and all others are the kindling to its flame, that all things may come to pass." - that the massacre of the foreign races is not only a nasty obstacle to fulfilment of the prophecy, but also the very foundation upon which this new age will be founded. He begins to wonder if the cause he fights for is truly righteous, yet knows that he is far from any other way - his decision set in stone hundreds of years ago.

Our Elves Are Better: The ash elves in the story are a reimagining of classic Dark Elves, except that they resemble dwarves more. They are master blacksmiths and have a culture and religion centred around the hammer and forge.

Religious Bruiser

Warrior Monk

Religion of Evil: Implied, but not explicitly so, focusing more on the moral ambiguity. Much of it requires sacrifice,

Conflicting Loyalty: Between his god, the good of his people and his constantly-attacked conscience as he wages war on the heroes. Internal Conflict is at the very core of his character arc.

Shell-Shocked Veteran: He's a warrior, king and high priest, so he's seen many wars.

Working on a manga. With pictures! All feedback welcome!

He sounds like a more reasonable version of Deus from Asura's Wrath. That's a pretty good thing, by the way. It says that he's the Big Bad at least for the first part in the post. What happens to him?

But, with that brief review done, here's a group of villains from my RWBY fanfic, associated with the Crusade, and who may also serve a role in Welcome to Beacon! one day.

• Group Title: The Chosen

• Inspired By: Primarily The Winter Soldier, secondarily a lot of my favorite characters

• Age: Varies by Chosen

• Personality: Varies from cold and professional to completely Ax-Crazy, depending on the Chosen.

• Abilities:

• Weaknesses:

• Goals: To help fulfill the vision of the Patriarch: a world without Faunus.

• Motivation:

• Role in the story: Mysterious Mercenary Pursuer, Co-Dragons to the Patriarch, The Dreaded, Knight of Cerebus, Hero Killers

• Backstory:

• Relevant Tropes:

Will try to finish ASAP; I just needed to get the skeleton on here.

edited 28th May '14 11:29:11 AM by Insano

Allurand and surrounding world loading, 28%...

I would critique that, but i have no idea what it is a fanfic of, so no help there. Except, perhaps, to have one of the personalities not be cold and calculated or ax-crazy, but have them seem completely normal, or affably evil. Variety in groups, my friend

Name:? (he needs one. suggestions welcome!)

Age: Hard to tell by looking at him, but he's in his forties

Personality: Generally seems happy and content, even blissful at times. Has a perpetual smile on his face...the size of his smile = the amount of pain he's putting someone through, or thinking about putting them through. He enjoys having power over others and making them feel powerless. Is know to molest his subordinates and/or prisoners, however he doesn't rape them—not out of an 'even evil has standards' ideology, he simply has no interest in sex and finds that their knowledge that he could have but didn't can lead to a stockholm syndrome reaction and finds it funny. He comes across as a benevolent boss at first but then proceeds to smash a lieutenant's head into the wall, smiling blissfully the entire time.

Appearance: Tall, pale, blonde, with electric blue eyes. He is considered attractive, almost bishonen, and is often compared to angels. His teeth could be described as "cute little vampire fangs". Gold is a major color motif for him, and he is typically seen in a bright gold suit and tie. When he actually fights he has a futuristic, golden suit of armor.

Abilities: Flying brick. Doesn't use this until he has to, however. He prefers manipulation and more than mind control to get others to do the dirty work. Is also able to induce a feeling of wellbeing in others (gave myself fridge brilliance of why he's so happy all the dang time), ranging from briefly forgetting what they're doing to putting them into a near catatonic state. It can be used subtly on his followers to make them loyal to him. Also, a variation of a ki attack, beam spamming or something like that.

Weaknesses: Arrogance. He thinks he is the epitome of strength and perfection, and that the world should naturally follow him and worship him. He thinks he cannot be harmed and that his actions can't come back to bite him, which makes him extremely impulsive at times, especially when it comes to hurting others. Expects others to take whatever abuse he throws at them, as it seems unnatural to him for them to resent him. He also doesn't watch his back because A) he thinks others are doing it for him, and B) Who would dare attack him?

Goals: He wants to rule the world and is frustrated by the world's reluctance to be ruled. Is developing a genetically modified army to back his future rule, and to conquer the more problematic governments.

Motivation: Comes from an alternate reality where he was a god-king (of an entire planet) from infancy. Having been removed from that reality with no way back, he is determined to make earth his new empire and to have the same amount of subservience and devotion from humanity as his previous world.

Role in the story: Bigger bad

Backstory: Pretty much explained in his motivation.

Relevant Tropes: light is not good, Complete monster, i'll edit others in as i find them...

Good one. I'm not sure what he should be named (I'm not good with character names; they come to me in spurts for my own stories and I'm not good at coming up with them on the spot), so I can't help you there. I can however provide as good a review for him as I can. This character seems quite interesting; I'd be intrigued to find out more about the world he came from. He seems like a worthy opponent for a superhero type of protagonist, especially since his abilities and motivation put me heavily in mind of Superboy-Prime—or at least what I know of the character. I've never been one for comic books, and I favor X-Men when I do read them.

Clockwalkers villains again, though a relatively minor one this time.

• Name: Fredrigo Whitmyer

• Age: 69

• Appearence: He is a rotund, balding man with a bushy white beard and mustache. Thick glasses cover his eyes to correct his poor vision, and he is never seen without his gold pocket-watch strung along his right side, a symbol of the Whitmyer Noble family passed to its Head when he or she inherits the position. Whitmyer usually dresses in custom-made suits, but when he rides out into battle he wears equally custom-fitted armor, though he has never sets foot into real danger.

• Personality: Fredrigo is not a bad person per se; in fact one could call him a good man in any other circumstances. He cares deeply for both his country and his family, and he believes that as a member of the Four Noble Families, especially as Family Head, his job is to serve the people of Ylati tirelessly. Unlike the rest of the Inner Circle he sees the nuriel race as living beings with hopes, dreams, and desires of their own. That said, he does view them as both a Slave Race and a resource, and willingly goes along with Azelas' plan to reduce them to raw Life Energy and bind them to every human in Ylati so humanity can lead the world into the new era. While caring, Fredrigo is a deep believer in the natural rights of a noble, thinking himself elevated above the common people.

• Abilites: Fredrigo is a capable administrator, able to manage Ylati's South Quadrant territory without major incident for the forty eight years he has held the position. He is also quite knowledgeable about military strategy, almost on par with career soldiers, and he possesses a photographic memory (at least for maps). Fredrigo is also trained in the use of small arms such as daggers and small one-handed crossbows. Because of his position and familial status, Fredrigo has hundreds of trained soldiers from the towns and cities of the South Quadrant at his beck and call, and he is privy to some of Ylati's darkest secrets.

• Weaknesses: Due to his largely sedentary lifestyle, Fredrigo is out of shape and an extremely weak combatant. His poor vision combined with neglecting training make his efforts with a crossbow futile at best and dangerous at worst. He is also not as informed as he likes to think, as he and his fellow members of the Inner Circle are in the dark about Azelas' real plans for the titanic energy that will come from the sacrifice.

• Goals:
  • Free the North Quadrant of Helios forces that have occupied it for fifty years in order to lessen the resource burden on the other Three Quadrants.

  • Sacrifice the nuriel race to transform all humans into immortal beings able to use magic.

  • Use magic to be able to fly without the aid of an airship and to put an end to hunger and famine in his Quadrant.

• Motivation: Helios destroying the North Quadrant and forcing its citizens to flee to the other Three increased the burden on the resources of the others. Fredrigo was raised by his mother to take her place as Family Head as her only child and heir, and he was groomed to view the plan as ugly but inevitable. His love of flight stemmed from his first ride in an airship, and he dreams of taking to the air without a "cage of steel and glass" around him.

• Role in the Story: Member of an Ancient Conspiracy controlling Ylati behind the scenes.

• Backstory: Fredrigo was born in the South Quadrant city of Vorcily in the year 2969 to Angelina and Marcello Whitmyer. Fredrigo was raised in the typical manner of a noble child; he was surrounded by an army of servants to attend to his every need, and nurses and tutors to instruct and care for him when he grew old enough. He rarely saw his parents, as his father was a high-ranking officer in Vorcily's defense force, dealing with constant Helios attacks throughout the South. Fredrigo's mother Angelina on the other hand was often in the capital, Kes'trina on official business reporting back to the King and Queen on the status of the Southern lands. However when they were with him, they lavished their affection on him, often taking him riding through the South's expansive forests. Then in 2978, the North Quadrant fell to Helios forces. The breakdown of order in the North caused a mass exodus which channeled into the other Quadrants. South was filled with refugees who caused disorder and stressed the resources allotted to each area. Worse, diseases spread by the refugees decimated those with no resistance and thousands died—and one of these plague victims was his father, Marcello. After his father's death, Angelina began intensifying Fredrigo's training to become Head of the Whitmyer family and take control of South. As he grew older, she eventually revealed to him the history of the kingdom and the objective of elevating humans into "perfect beings". After his mother grew old and passed on, Fredrigo joined the Inner Circle, filling her spot and raising his own son to take his place, all while fervently hoping the sacrifice came to pass during his lifetime.

• Relevant Tropes:

• Adult Fear: After finding out that Azelas (and presumably Gweyna) hid the fact that dragons are planning an all out attack on Ylati, Fredrigo's first thought is about his son and his grandchildren and he has a horrific vision of them dead, a mass of ash and charred bodies
  • To a lesser extent, after the battle with Azelas is won, Fredrigo has to face the fact that he—along with every other human—will not become immortal after all. He had lived much of his life confident that his generation would be the one to see it realized, and now he has to confront the reality of his mortality...and this happens when he is an old man.

• Anti-Villain: Of the Three representatives of the Four Noble Families that compose Azelas' Inner Circle, he is the least malevolent. Yes, he is willingly assisting a Humanoid Abomination with its plan to convert several million sentient beings into energy so they can be bound to humans—and a large part of his motivation is a childhood dream—but he also wants to permanently end the crippling shortages and famines that have plagued his domain for decades since the North fell. Plus, one has to remember that he was raised from birth with the understanding that it was his duty and privilege to help Azelas "The Founder" with its agenda.

• Affably Evil: Fredrigo is a devoted father who did everything he could to ensure he was there for his son Agnolo, because he remembers the pain of his own father's death and the wish that he could have spent more time with him. He also tried to avoid ignoring his family due to Kingdom business and worked hard at being both a family man and a member of the aristocracy and Inner Circle.
  • He is also extremely accommodating to the needs of his nuriel maid Mina, assuring her that he understands her concerns as a single parent trying to raise her children and at one point reprimanding a staffer who recommends having her flogged for laziness. His kindness to her comes off as slightly eerie however when you remember what his cabal is planning to do to the nuriel race.

• Aristocrats Are Evil: Played with; Fredrigo puts the needs of his people first and will do anything to defend the South from incursion by insurrectionist forces, criminal elements, or epidemics. However he is willing to authorize torture of civilians or their loved ones on suspicion that they might be Helios sympathizers. He has no qualms about exterminating plague victims depending on how contagious they are even if medical treatment would have cured them, and of course he's plotting with the Big Bad.

• Awful Truth: He is part of an Ancient Conspiracy, so he's bound to know a few of these. Apart from the plan to sacrifice the nuriel race, he also knows the disturbing truth that Ylati, the elven forests of Atnar and the dwarves underground kingdom are not the only lands that survived the Rain 7,000 years ago. Other civilizations exist, and they are at technologically advanced enough to attempt radio communication with any others that may be out there. Ylati plans to destroy these societies by flooding them with murderous Artificial Humans that kill anything in their path, as a precaution in case they try to interfere with the ritual due to moral reasons or other unfathomable motives.

• Bald of Evil

• Beard of Evil: A large, curly white beard and mustache, enhanced by the utter lack of hair on his head.

• Dirty Coward: When Kes'trina is invaded by the rebelling members of the Exterior Guard and the Helios remnants in an attempt to stop Azelas' plan and save Ylati (and thus all known humanity) from being annihilated by dragons Fredrigo attempts to flee the city without even bothering to let the surviving members of the Inner Circle know he's leaving and he demands that the Palace Guards fighting desperately to keep the enemy outside the gates act as his escorts to his personal airship.

• Dirty Business: Fredrigo views some of his more morally dubious actions as this; once he's given the order to have someone tortured for information, infected citizens "dealt with", or someone silenced because they know too much, he doesn't want to think about it or even hear about it again, except for the necessary and practical followup reports that come with the situation.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: He is sickened at the idea of gathering *cough, abducting, cough* homeless or otherwise unwanted children throughout his domain and presenting them to Azelas to either have their minds destroyed by the being's powers or have their personalities supplanted by ones loyal to its cause and then installed on the throne as new king or queen. In fact, it is noted that his number of children presented to Azelas is much, much lower than the other members of the Inner Circle, barely scraping the minimum.

• Evil Old Folks: In his case, more like Extremely Morally Gray, Almost Black, Old Folks.

• Family-Values Villain: Fredrigo believes wholeheartedly in the power and essential rightness of a family unit that sticks together, especially his own, as they are one of the Four Noble Families.

• Heroic Lineage: The Whitmyers are descended from one of the Four Heroes, human leaders who guided the surviving human race to the new continent where they were able to set aside the difference of "race" and "ethnicity" and embrace "species" to set up Ylati as a new nation after the Rain. What the legend doesn't talk about is the fact that they were drawn over the seas to the new land by Azelas' telepathic order and that the Four Heroes pledged to serve Azelas to regain the magic that had fled the world in the Rain's wake.
  • In fact, when you consider that the "Royal Family" the Ylatain people revere are merely children brainwashed into serving a purpose and continually replaced over time, and passed off as the offspring of the previous king and queen, it's quite clear that the Four Noble Families are the closest thing Ylati has to real royalty, as ironically all the kings and queens have been commoners.

• Heel–Face Turn: He undergoes one after seeing the entirety of the plan crumbling before his eyes, and digesting the knowledge that thousands of dragons are on their way to Ylati from beyond the Miasma to enact a Final Solution on humanity to honor an ancient debt with the nuriel race. Worse, Azelas knew this and didn't bother to warn them. All of this ate away at his already heavy doubt and he crumbled under the strain. In the Distant Finale, it is implied that he assisted in the long road to better human and nuriel relations after the system of slavery is abolished, in exchange for his family being allowed to keep control over the South.

• Save the Villain: The Exterior Guard forces invading the Palace find Fredrigo cornered by a large group of Butchers while vainly trying to shoot them with his crossbow. If they hadn't engaged the Butchers in battle, they would have torn him apart.

• Sole Survivor: By the end of Clockwalkers, everyone belonging to the Inner Circle is dead except for him. While the heirs and families of the dead members remain alive, the group is officially disbanded by Niccolo once he becomes King, thus making Fredrigo the only breathing human that was once a part of their organization.

• Southern Gentleman: Being a fictional world, Ylati's South Quadrant isn't exactly analogous to the American South, but he fits several of the requirements being well-dressed, polite with a strong sense of honor and...well, being from the south.

• Talking the Monster to Death: Averted. Fredrigo berates a group Butchers for attacking the Kingdom forces, reminding them that they are the servants of the Inner Circle and have no right to be acting without their permission. This doesn't impress the mindless Clockwalkers and his angry words are reduced to desperate pleas not to kill him.

• Token Good Teammate: Downplayed. Fredrigo is really just like his fellow members of the Inner Circle, convinced that humans are the chosen ones destined to be the only inheritors of magic and willing to case great pain and suffering to achieve that dream. However he is far more honorable than the others, refusing to lower his standards of morality unless he is absolutely ordered to.

• Trauma Conga Line: Of the psychological kind. First rebels invade and besiege the capital on the day of the ritual, meaning he is trapped within the city, unable to escape. Then the supposedly obedient Butchers are activated and they begin a brutal killing spree on anything in sight, then he is captured by the Exterior Guard, and then he finds out that dragons are plotting to kill every human in Ylati for enslaving and plotting to massacre a race they owe a debt to. Afterwards he is indirectly informed that Queen Araceli's efforts to defeat the Guard have proved useless and that she's presumed dead. He never takes a scratch during any of this (though he came close to being killed by Butchers), but the toll it takes on his mind is severe.

• Unwitting Pawn: He and all the members of the Inner Circle have been these for Azelas, stretching back to the Four Heroes seven thousand years ago. Azelas needs the humans to keep the nuriel penned in within Ylati's borders long enough for them to procreate and increase their numbers so that there will be enough life energy when the ritual is over, and it needed the humans to increase the habitable land to support that growth. The Inner Circle know all of this, but don't know that Azelas is planning to "eat" the raw energy to forge a soul for itself and leave the human race with nothing but blood on its hands.

• Visionary Villain: Fredrigo's more practical end goal is to use the newly returned power of magic to ease the situation in the South. With immortality, sickness and plague would be a worry of the past, and with the power to control the land's output with spells, growing enough food to feed the multitudes wouldn't be a problem anymore.

• Villainous Breakdown: Fredrigo has a rather protracted one over the course of one very bad day. The breakdown starts with him ineffectively shouting at the Butchers trying to kill him and then after finding out that not only did Araceli suffer defeat but also a poisoned arrow wound, he simply sinks into a corner, his will gone. When he hears that Araceli's "brother" Prince Niccolo is fighting alongside the rebels, he throws a tantrum, desperately screaming that it is impossible because none of the brainwashed princes and princesses were supposed to be capable of turning against Azelas—or anyone who served it. It grows so loud and agitated that he has to be physically subdued to stop his yelling and thrashing around.

• Your Terrorists Are Our Freedom Fighters: He despises Helios and considers them terrorists with the blood of thousands of innocents on their hands—and guess what? He isn't wrong. Helios, while fighting for nuriel equal rights and an end to human oppression, is a violent organization that isn't above bombings, sabotage and armed attacks against civilian targets if they think it will sway the government or intimidate them into submission. Their worst atrocity was ravaging the North Quadrant and driving its citizens out into the other Quadrants, stressing the entire Kingdom's resources. The gravity of this act is increased when you remember that the world outside Ylati's borders is either the territory of other races or simply uninhabitable, meaning that there is no place for the citizens to go if things truly go bad in the country.

edited 19th Nov '14 4:36:49 PM by Swordofknowledge

Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake. — Edgar Walllace

@ Sword: Seems like you have villains juxtaposed against other villains, a rather interesting and innovative concept. I look forward to reading Clockwalkers. I am tempted at several times to say "poor guy", then I remember all his bastard moments, and think better of it.

Gotta wonder what ends up happening with those dragons...

Now here's a villain from a massive crossover story I'm working on in a certain 'verse. I decided to take advantage of the crossover nature to see how nasty a villain I could make.

• Name: Perseus Sarasho

• Age: 30

• Personality: Perseus is, in many ways, one of the last men of his age. He is a dedicated, earnest yet stoic and thrill seeking warrior who lives in a time of peace and prosperity brought about by great sacrifice by his predecessors. Sarasho was young in a time of remnant warfare, of hearing about the worlds out there that he could visit, and living by the teachings of his war hero of a father, who taught him to value his warrior nature above all else. However, while thrill seeking and harsh strength seeking are accepted among the youth, among older individuals and experienced people, like who Sarasho finds himself involved with, his nature is odd and uncanny. They view him as a frightening flashback to an age they wish to forget. Sarasho, for his part, is resentful of both business and the "New Economy" and the "Relic Warriors" who do not wish to remember their struggles and basically just exist as, as Sarasho puts it, "Collected totems of a bygone age". Sarasho is the type, just as well, that is very charismatic and well spoken, but given how unpopular his opinions are, this just makes him even less well liked by some. He is viewed as both a rabble-rouser and an "enemy of peace." Sarasho is not shy to reveal what his positions are, even less so to put his positions in a frank, harsh light that makes him seem like a Jerkass. His encounters with Wolfang Richler also reveal he has quite the manipulative streak, and despite his unpopular nature, he commands something like a cult following. It seems he has stringent expectations, and anyone who fails to live up to these is subjected to very harsh insinuations and even insults. What matters to him is if you can fight. In some ways, Morality Be Damned, otherwise. However, he tends to treat combat itself very honorably, outright complimenting people who last long enough against him.

• Abilities: Being a World Traveler in a Kingdom Hearts fic, he has his own Keyblade called Eibon. It channels his power into the waves of air created by the sword, thus, more than tripling the functional attack radius he has. Due to his world traveling nature, having ventured far with his father, he has collected a number of powers from different worlds, owing to the crossover nature of the verse I am writing in. His eye covered by his Eyepatch of Power hails from Naruto, the Rinnegan. His right eye also has a Magical Eye power which seems to be based on manipulation of "Cardinal Forces" - Time, Gravity, Space", and combining these to varying effects. He also works in other powers, including Dragon Shouts, and he's stated to be in a Pact with some sort of skeleton dragon called Vyrath. The powers these all give him are; the ability to rip his opponent's Mana straight out of them, the ability to No-Sell anything heading for Preta Path, a massive walking armory of a body in Asura Path that includes missiles, grenades, gatling guns, and others, a body that resurrects other Bodies while also being able to decay and rot anything hostile it touches, the ability to manipulate wood and the earth, the ability to regenerate very quickly from most injuries, among others associated with such power sets in those media. Special mention, though, to his Disarm Shout being his silver bullet against other Key Users - he essentially negates the clingy weapon tendencies for a short time while also depriving them of their weapon. Which, with everything else that's going to be flying at you, could be deadly.
  • Summons in total: A gigantic chameleon cloaked heartless that shoots venomous spikes and acid, a large turtle-like lizard that is Nigh-Invulnerable, a giant six headed caterpillar / worm like abomination that eats people and nullifies any special coating or enchantment on them, a giant, spike-covered demonic bear, among others.

• Weaknesses: Sarasho, despite his powers, seems to have a set code of conduct when it comes to battle - if an opponent is having a health crisis, he stops, waits for it to end, and then continues. While manipulative, he is politically guileless - he does not seem to know what is appropriate to say to people in a group setting. It also seems that he likes handicapping himself. Altogether, though, he was made to be, intentionally, the super-powerful roadblock between the Heroes and Wolfang.

• Goals: He wants to reinstitute the war that happened so long ago, but make it a Forever War this time, so that warriors are never relegated to relic status. He wants to do away with the notion of coming home and "partaking in a mundane job, either working with or for men who do not have a valorous bone in their bodies". So he also wants to burn industry and industrial progress to the ground, starting with banks and moving out from there.

• Motivation: He grew up in a more war-like atmosphere, and saw his father's "worth" decrease. Everyone could name the big name heroes because they went into industry and got mundane jobs. "When what you do is fighting, you are never going to be remembered."

• Role in the story: In my fic set in Lord Cavendish's KH series, Sarasho basically functions as the Dragon-in-Chief, because Wolfang is too busy doing other things, rather than engage the heroes.

• Backstory: Perseus Sarasho was born to Eliza and Perdus Sarasho, Eliza being basically a harmless housewife or is she? and his father Perdus being basically Perseus himself as of now, but even more powerful. Perdus fought in the war against the Midnight Faction, and then came home and had Perseus some time later. Perseus grew up in a time called the “Last Remnant Period”, wherein supposedly the last remnants of Empirial power were destroyed. It was a period of strife at any rate, and Sarasho's father, despite fighting again, was not recognized as strongly as the sacrifice of older heroes and those who simply spoke against the Remnant. This utterly infuriated a young Perseus, and he decided if this is what peace is like, he hated peace.

• Relevant Tropes:
• The Ace: Read his list of powers under there. Perseus is noted to be extremely good at close range, long range and mid range fighting, he is very intelligent, and he is a Warrior Poet...
  • Broken Ace: He's also rather mentally unwell, he does not adapt to change very well, and its inferred he is extremely lonely and does not handle relationships well – at thirty, he's already been through three divorces!
• Alien Blood: We see his blood at one point. Its...decidedly not human to say the least, looking like a mixture between human blood, tree sap and some sort of black liquid.
• Ancestral Weapon: Sarasho's Keyblade, Eibon, was passed down to him from his father.
• Antagonist Abilities: Start with the fact he actually has six bodies, and you need to disable one now rather heavily powered one to stop it from reviving and or healing the other ones, the fact one body has a huge arsenal of Schizo Tech weapons collected from numerous worlds, the fact one body summons Kaiju in large numbers, and the main one can pull, push or cluster things, in addition to Up To Eleven Green Thumb and Light 'em Up and Casting a Shadow “Yin Yang” Magic...yeah, Sarasho has these.
• Antagonist in Mourning: When he thought his best fight yet had just keeled over from his own technique, Percy started to mourn him, and was relieved when he learned such was most likely not the case.
• Attack Drone: Asura Path has these, which fire off huge blasts, though they cannot travel far from the Path.
• Attack Reflector: Human Path carries a mirror that has this effect, causing either a spell to be reflected, or a spectral copy of yourself in the event of a physical attack to reach out and stab you.
• Authority Equals Asskicking: And in a position that does not really require any asskicking. Though really, if you go at Perseus expecting him to be just another limp-wristed politician, you've earned your Darwin Award.
• Badass: Count the ways;
  • Badass Armfold: How does Sarasho arrive on the battlefield? He arrives on a massive, twisting, advancing tree trunk, his arms folded in front of him.
  • Badass Back: When Shou came back after being tossed through the tower, he simply launched a fireball in Shou's direction that defeated him, without even looking back to confirm where he was coming from.
  • Badass Baritone: His voice is described constantly as a deep, impressive tone.
  • Badass Boast: "Friends of Jonahs, I do not relish this occasion, for it is utterly distasteful for the strong to endlessly pick fights with the weak. There is no glory in it. Alas, I made my arrangements. Either move or be moved."
  • Badass Longcoat: His outfit when he finally descends to join the first battle. Complete with his coattails whipping around in wind.
• Barrier Warrior: A destructive version, he can create a massive Advancing Wall of Doom made of blue fire. Not only does it block attacks very well, its also useful for clearing out large numbers of his foes.
• Berserk Button: Disrupting an honorable fight is utterly distasteful to him, and other disgusting activities fulfil this role, hence what set him against Edric Maynes.
• Blood Knight: Oh so much – he even says that the reason he is causing the Schism is because “war has faded, lessons have been forgotten, Humanity is weak now and willing to discard the sacrifices of others.”
  • He even compliments others if they damage his techniques or spells, or stop them outright.
• Born in the Wrong Century: If he had been born at the right time, he would've been one of the greatest heroes of the time period. Nowadays though he just feels unwanted, like the "new ways of the world" are "hostile towards him".
• Casting a Shadow: Including a different kind of Summon Magic, including the ability to summon a Behemoth Heartless to his side that seems to serve him. He is also capable of launching "Seeker Orbs" that follow his enemies and when they hit, explode violently.
• Combat Sadomasochist: In combat, he constantly tries to egg his foes into attacking him as fiercely as Sarasho himself is attacking them.
• Crazy-Prepared: He never skips an opportunity to prepare for a fight. In addition to his powers, its definitely shown he's a very skilled combatant even not using his more evidently monstrous powers.
• Curb-Stomp Battle: 'Daj, picking a fight with Sarasho, even if he insulted your father and your namesake, was not a good idea.
  • There's also his battle with those eight people, well, battle may be too strong a word. During that whole battle, none of his Paths were terribly injured, he defeated his foes in gruesomely ironic ways.
  • Perseus vs. Jonahs and Avengant ended with Avengant, the so called Immortal Spirit of Revenge, dead, Jonahs badly beaten, and only the timely arrival of other forces saved him.
• Demon Slaying: Before he became evil, he was a noted "Heartless Hunter".
• The Dragon: In addition to serving as Dragon-in-Chief, he has his own, named Shalor. He has another, a more literal dragon, in Vyrath, who is usually invisible, curled around Sarasho's office building.
• The Dreaded: Outside the Islands, he is regarded as a very frightening individual who you really do not want mad at you.
• Energy Absorption: Preta Path. Though as usual, certain kinds of energy can make it overload or be negatively effected. Interestingly, it is armed with a pair of cannons it can use to release stored energy, or it can simply transmit it to other Paths.
• Evil Counterpart: To no less than three people!
  • To Jonahs: Son of a great hero, has trained extensively, both use a false front to conceal their abilities, and both are earnest in their beliefs. The difference here is Sarasho's beliefs are war-like and do not take into consideration anybody else's feelings on the subject.
  • To Marcus, for being someone who uses powers from other worlds, who travels and regards knowing of other worlds as deeply important. Difference here being Perseus collected his powers to basically become more of a worthy warrior, while Marcus did it out of pure-hearted interest in the other worlds, and to understand them.
  • To Vaughn, someone older than most of the rest of the people he's associated with, uses powerful abilities, and is the spitting image of his father.
• Evil Mentor: Its only inferred, but given his Dragon Shouts and his words on his mentor ("He was steely and rather arrogant, despising weakness.") it is thus almost stated his mentor is Miraak.
• Foe-Tossing Charge: In the first battle, which involved 10000 Alliance soldiers, he charged right through them to meet the other members of the Dark Alliance just because he agreed to meet them at a specific time. Only 196 of the 10000 were left out of that.
• Generation Xerox: He is this to his father, Perdus, and he intends, after the valiant show Sora made, to make Jonahs into a Generation Xerox, either of Perseus or Sora.
• Green Thumb: Up To Eleven!
  • Combat Tentacles: That grow into any wound they cause, basically making healing extremely difficult if not impossible.
    • This Is a Drill: Sometimes, they come with drills attached, though.
  • Mook Maker: Sarasho is capable of creating strange vine-like man eating plant monsters out of wood. They spray vision-obscuring poison and try to gnaw off any limb they can wrap their mouths around - and they usually have a lot of mouths.
  • Serrated Blade of Pain: He can create one out of any wood nearby. Or several.
  • Summon Magic: He seems to be capable of summoning a trio of different entities made of wood, rather than simply making them out of trees or something. The first is Rengoku, a massive bone-white Humanoid Abomination with a Laser Blade Katana and a shield that reflects magic, the second is Yarashi the Wooden Dragon, which becomes stronger the more people it strikes down and it grows more heads the more times its struck. And Unmei Shinei the World Tree, which heals and powers up his allies.
• Guardian Entity: It seems Rengoku fits under this as well, being more than just some construct of his Green Thumb power. It resembles a giant knight-monster with four conjoined heads, and a large number of arms all wielding Laser Blade's. Though the main arms seem to wield the strongest sword.
  • Sword Beam: It can launch ten Sword Beams at once in a spell called Sephira Sword Hazard. This spell was powerful enough that even Wolfang chastised Sarasho for going overkill and possibly injuring his allies. Yes, this got Wolfang pissed. Not the meteors.
• Healing Factor: Enough that it could simply negate the damage a Deadly Upgrade using Sora was dealing if Sarasho fought smart. Even still, he nearly died several times, showing his Healing Factor, while strong, is not as broken as it seems.
• I Am Not Left-Handed: He starts out fighting the eight heroes simply using Jin-Nai-Setsu and his natural abilities and powers. He then takes off the sealing eyepatch after he is accused of using "kiddie gloves".
• Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: one of his tricks during battle, littering swords all over and then using Attraction to send them flying back toward a foe, bladed end first.
• Instant Armor: Rengoku forms around him, meaning any attack heading for him is most likely negated.
• Instant Awesome Just Add Dragons: Yarashi, "The Blood-Drinking Plant Dragon".
• Jerkass: he tends to make some rather insensitive statements and references, and altogether is rather difficult to get along with. For example, calling Riku's grandson Kadaj "named after some biker trash". If you know what happened to the original Kadaj in this verse, this statement gets worse.
• Kick The Son Of A Bitch: Edric Maynes, son of Alric Maynes, was a psychotic, horrifically abusive pseudo-royal who basically used his relationship to the President to get away with anything and everything. Basically an Expy of Uday Hussein. Now aren't we glad Rengoku flattened him?
• Knife Nut: He also carries around a large number of knives with brown material connected to them that let him take flight to wherever he's thrown the knife. The material is outright stated to be made of his plant-life magic.
• Light 'em Up: He is capable of several techniques that involve Light, such as a dispersal shield and several varieties of light beams.
• Lightning Bruiser: Made most evident in the Perseus Sarasho vs. the 10000 scene, where he's zipping around left right and centre, breaking people and all too often using their bodies or weapons to bring down a slew of further foes.
• Magical Eye: Like it needs to be said further - Sarasho has two of them, though. The other, Jin-Nai-Setsu, is from New Dawn, and lets him manipulate Time, Gravity and Space. He mostly simply uses that.
• Mayor Pain: He's a Deputy Mayor Pain. As Marcus puts it; ”Sarasho is a pain. He puked up some excuse about money to try to shut down the Team KH Honorary Museum. We all know Sarasho doesn't give a rat's...sorry behind about money. He's out for us. For one reason or another.”
• Nigh-Invulnerable: Sarasho himself, and Rengoku, who simply flicked a massive fireball away with a single hand.
• No-Holds-Barred Beatdown: You'd think Calan, Setanta, Cunla, Elza, Rina, Shou, Andore and Sullivan vs. Sarasho would be one on Percy. Instead, Sarasho utterly trashed the hero's friends when they try to stop him from intervening in the first major battle, knowing full well he's so damn powerful if he did arrive, things would hit From Bad to Worse in an already bad battle. Sarasho proceeds to Shoot the Medic First by way of shooting the medic - Shou - through a tower, following by impaling Setanta and his father on their Ancestral Weapon, one on top of the other, and then casually blasting Andore's chest open.
  • Understatement: He then says this to Jonahs: "Your friends are probably laying down somewhere. They looked tired when I left them."
• No-Sell: He does this first to Marcus' Circular Slash, holding his Sabre in his hand, and then simply took Jonahs' Radiant Blade Explosion to the face, and came out of it snarking that Jonahs should train more, that his attack was rather badly done.
• Odd Friendship: he has two friends involved in the up and coming war who we find out about. Briadant Ray, a fiery young revolutionary with paranoid tendencies, and Morgan Hirath, an expy of Revolver Ocelot. Both of them have their quirks, and Sarasho is a rather humorless man, except his odd The Comically Serious moment or two. All the same, its evident these three have known each other for some time.
• One-Hit Kill: Without a buffer, the touch of Naraka Path Sarasho is nigh on instantly deadly, and just to make it more obvious, it is dressed like a Grim Reaper and wields a scythe caked in its own blood, which has the same effect.
• One-Man Army: The army of 10000 really did not stand much of a chance against him. When the commander asks for permission to send 20000 more, even President Alric Maynes tells the guy he's insane and to retreat now.
• The Paralyzer: Getting stabbed with a Blue Rod gives him nigh on instant control of the limb or area its embedded in. Most often, he just instructs a stabbed location "do not move". It can be overwritten a number of ways.
• People Puppets: He can actually add people to his "Paths" using the "Blue Rods" instead of the "Black Rods".
• Person of Mass Destruction: Once he gets tired of humouring the Alliance forces hiding in their airships, he simply drops meteors on the airships until they're all gone.
  • heck, Wolfang refers to his nature in the battle plans as "mobile living tactical nuke".
• Pet the Dog: He pets it by rescuing a young girl from The Purge commanded by Edric Maynes. Further when he steps up to defend the whole district from Edric, including downing the Maynes Battleship with Rengoku.
• Powers Do the Fighting: One of his "handicaps" is to simply summon Rengoku and have him do the fighting.
• The Resenter: Even though Sora, Riku and Kairi have left the fighting to their progeny at this point in the verse, this does not stop Sarasho from targeting them. Mostly because he absolutely resents they get to be remembered, while his father died and nobody but him and his grandmother showed up to the funeral, and there was no announcement it had even happened. "You leave fighting and do something else? You are a hero. You do nothing but fight? You are nothing but a brute. Those are the standards this world has."
• Slasher Smile: He gets a rather unnerving grin when he's told Marcus is tearing through his forces and heading right for him.
• SNK Boss: A fanfic version - read over this page again and look at all the abilities he has listed under Antagonist Abilities.
• Story-Breaker Power: In addition to powerful magical eyes, he can order reality to do things, like Disarm his foes, blast opponents away from him, freeze his foes solid, drop a hail of small meteors on his foes, command the weather, and eviscerate your defences and ability to withstand his attacks. His Dracolich gives him the power to No-Sell death four times a day.
  • He is generally a look into what would happen if someone made to be powerful, someone designed by others to excel in war found himself without a war to fight.
• The Strategist: The role he frequently falls into in Wolfang's forces.
• Superpower Lottery: He won it in several Worlds.
• Used to Be a Sweet Kid: Really. Sarasho used to be an undeniably adorable little guy. We see this both in flashbacks and in a family photo.
• Visionary Villain: He certainly says so, at least.
• Walking Spoiler: His villainy exposes a lot of really bad things that are going on.
• Warrior Poet: Perseus is just as enthusiastic about writing and speaking in poetic verse as he is about battle.
• Well-Intentioned Extremist: In his own way. Sarasho wants to create a new order wherein warriors are not discarded or expected to reintegrate seemlessly, and where their worth lasts forever. If that sounds familiar, it should.
• World's Strongest Man: A strong contender for this trope. His sheer collection of powers results in a character who is Difficult, but Awesome to fight, and who draws awe and dread when he enters the fray.
• Worthy Opponent: He concedes that a Deadly Upgrade using Sora is more than a match for him physically. He also acknowledges that the only reason he eventually won that was because he could regenerate from attacks, and the Deadly Upgrade basically sapped his foe's health the more it was used. This also functions to make him respect the older Sora's tenacity and will in facing a foe he knew he could probably not win against.
• Wouldn't Hurt a Child: Despite everything else we know about him, he dislikes hurting children, and views using Child Soldiers as a Moral Event Horizon, hence why he vetoed the idea when Claiom brought it up.

edited 29th May '14 10:09:31 PM by NickTheSwing

@ Nick: Thanks, Clockwalkers is one of those old, unfinished stories from my early writing days but it's unique in that it is the only story I've ever written where humans are basically the villains even if they are manipulated by something that isn't human. I actually was planning on putting the dragons up there some time ago and have a skeleton profile for this page about them. I just wanted to give some more context to their appearance before putting them up here.

I see you have a Kingdom Hearts-type character there, which is funny as Clockwalkers is heavily Kingdom Hearts inspired.

• Perseus is a very interesting character; I'm not sure if you meant "nasty" in terms of personality or powers when you said you wanted to make him as nasty as possible, but if you meant powers you've succeeded. A Keyblade with wind-based powers and a freaking Rinnegan? The man would make Uchiha Madara at least hesitate before fighting him. Personality wise, I have to admit I actually admire him, though his goals are certainly disturbing and remind me of the villain of modern warfare 2 (I left that vague in case you haven't played it). Goals aside, I can admire that he gives his opponents time to recover and his going after the original Kingdom Hearts trio (Riku, Kairi, and Sora) actually seems like a breath of fresh air. A lot of characters you've posted would have gone after their children in his shoes, but he chose to target the people he hates head on rather than take cheap shots at their loved ones. Good job once again.

edited 30th May '14 8:45:20 PM by Swordofknowledge

Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake. — Edgar Walllace

I think Perseus is overpowered. He's interesting and he does have restraint, but nothing seems to impede him, really. Maybe a few more easily-exploited weaknesses would be good.

---

Name: Shelley Gardner

Age: 25

Personality: Shelley is a bouncy, cheerful, and slightly ditzy woman who also happens to be incredibly book smart. She's friendly, but easily taken advantage of in social situations and often finds herself perplexed by others. Very, very loyal to those she thinks have earned it. Can see the world as black and white.

Abilities: Super speed and immense intelligence.

Weaknesses: It isn't at all difficult to distract her and her speed only works when she focuses on it. She's of an average human durability, controlled by her emotions, and can be manipulated.

Goals: Defend Transhumans against the spreading bio-weapon that was released into the Renascence's ranks, be re-accepted into the scientific community, and successfully take the psychologist who experimented on her to court and have him imprisoned.

Motivation: She wants to help people and make the world a better place.

Role in the story: The Evil Genius

Backstory: Shelley was born as part of a government program to see if children could be brought to term without a "host". Her parents agreed to donate, but wanted nothing to do with a Transhuman child and so she never met them. She was raised by a rotating group of scientists and child psychologists, along with her "siblings", the other children (Transhuman and human) that survived the procedure. While mentally ahead of them, she was not as physically strong or fast as them. Due to this, her ability of super-speed manifested itself at three, a fairly early age. A telepath, Dr. Franklin Jacobs, was brought in to control her, because no one else could. He discovered that her intellect and speed combined made a very good living computer. In return, Shelley was fond of him because he challenged her. After a few years of trial and error, he decided that he wanted to run a different test. He pitted her brains against one April Savage's brawn, multiple times. April tried to protect Shelley, but couldn't. For her efforts though, she got a life-long friend in Shelley. Dr. Jacobs was caught after about three months, but he was only re-assigned, leading to Shelley's rather strong dislike for government and her desire to not let innocent people be hurt. The worst of her memories were wiped, so as not to damage the program. She grew up, earning her diploma at thirteen and heading right off to college, with an equally mind-wiped April as a bodyguard. Shelley got her degrees in biochemistry and with a head of revolutionary new ideas, ran off the join the CDC. However, she didn't think that things were moving fast enough, too much testing before it got to the human stage. So she started testing willing, if not fully informed, and already infected people. She got some of the results that she wanted, though she felt slightly guilty about it. Two years later she was caught, tried, and sentenced to life imprisonment. She escaped and went to hide out at April's. For another six months, she went stir-crazy in April's apartment until one day, when a woman named Wren Summers asked Shelley if she would help with a virus.

Relevant tropes:

• Admiring the Abomination: Is a huge fan of her Boss's human-eating symbiote ("Eeee! It even replicates itself!"), as well as her fellow scientist, April Savage. Averted with Dr. Salazar, who even Shelley finds creepy.

• Brains and Brawn: With April. They're both smart, but Shelley's more science inclined while April does honestly enjoy fighting.

• Deadly Doctor: Uses scalpels as knives in close combat.

• Disappeared Dad

• Disposable Vagrant: Her former test subjects.

• Ditzy Genius: She got her Ph.D. in biochemistry at twenty, but she can't keep her mouth shut around her commander, tends to giggle at inappropriate times, and makes what seems to be non-sequiturs constantly. Her Marilyn Monroe-esque voice doesn't help things.

• Even Evil Has Loved Ones: She's very protective of her assistant April, and considers her family. The feeling is quite earnestly returned.
  • She and her boss, Bertram.

• Even Evil Has Standards: Despite her own testing, Shelley flat out attacks the Big Bad for using a defensive weapon toward knocking humanity's numbers down into the thousands.

• Fantastic Racism: From Dr. Jacobs and her parents.

• Fire-Forged Friends: Yeah, you could say she and April are this.

• Glass Cannon: Super speed + science = broken bones. If you can catch her, however, she's down with a single hit.

• Goggles Do Something Unusual: They can see the light spectrum, change to match any lighting, and they're prescription.

• Mad Scientist: Oh so very much.

• Mind Rape: A semi-second hand version. She was mentally tortured by her psychologist through April, though Shelley wasn't totally immune to the psychologist's telepathy.

• Missing Mom

• Laser-Guided Amnesia: Though not as strong as hoped. The telepath that performed it on her thought she deserved to distrust anyone who'd let something like that happen.

• Older Than They Look: Looks seventeen while being in her early twenties.

• Perpetual Smiler: To the point that not smiling is a sign that something's deeply wrong.

• Playing with Syringes: What she did while she worked for the CDC. After that, she started to be more careful in her research. Mostly.

• Significant Green-Eyed Redhead

• Stepford Smiler: Sometimes. She remembers more than they expected.

• Super-Speed: To Mach levels.
  • Super-Reflexes

• Verbal Tic: Ends her sentences with "heh".

• Villainous Friendship: A Type I with her immediate superior, Bertram a.k.a. "Boss" and April. Type IV with Dr. Salazar; they hate each other, as much as Dr. Salazar hates anyone, but they're the only representatives of the sciences in the war room and will stick together for that alone.

• Well-Intentioned Extremist: Shelley wants the world to be free of as many diseases as possible. She just tends to use humans as test subjects to get her data faster.

edited 14th Jun '14 11:59:20 PM by UmLovely

RISE

Reminds me of a saner Bonesaw, for some reason. Otherwise delightfully creepy.

Also, I'm going to put a Nobilis fic villain pair here soon. It's just that...not now, I have other things to do.

What rises must fall, what falls may rise again.