For funny moments from Strong Bad Emails, go here.
- Pick a Senor Cardgage quote. Any quote.Senor Cardgage: I'm sorry, Bridget, but can I steep some identificaption?
- Homsar's character video, in which the background is upside-down as he speaks.Homsar: Hi, Wonder Mike! I'm Homsar, the captain of the gravy train. (hat briefly turns into an engineer's hat) Climb aboard! (hat turns back to normal) I brought my best foot flowered. Pshoo!
- The Homestar Runner from the Old Timey cartoons is hilarious in general. There's a pretty good reason he's the Brothers Chaps' favorite character.Old Timey Marzipan: Let's split up.
The Homestar Runner: We can do more damage that way.
- When Marzipan wonders why Strong Bad is wearing her oven mitts, he hastily claims "These are my training gloves... probably."
- The "DVD commentary" is hilarious:Homestar: Oh, hello, this is Homestar.
Strong Sad: And this is Strong Sad.
Strong Bad: And we're both morons!
Homestar: No, "and welcome to the King of Town super DVD!"
Strong Sad: Uh, I think he means "the Yello Dello DVD".
Strong Bad: No, what I think he means is, "I'm the dumbest guy on the planet. Here's some proof!"
(the cartoon begins)
- In response to a particularly Off-Model Homestar, Strong Bad claims "Homestar gained a hundred pounds and shrank two feet for this role." And Homestar agrees with that claim!
- During the scene where Homestar sits on a rock and ponders a gift for Marzipan:Strong Bad: And so, he crapped and crapped and crapped and crapped and crapped all over that rock.
Homestar: Hey, that only happened once!
Strong Sad: It was my rock...
- In the commentary, Strong Bad points out that Homestar doesn't have any legs during one scene. This is because he was actually a sophisticated puppet being operated by Strong Sad. And he had to be replaced because... he didn't have any legs.
- A more subtle gem from the commentary has Strong Bad reacting baffled to the scene where Homestar and Pom Pom effortlessly lift Strong Sad to the Yello Dello's point of view so he can talk to it. Homestar claims that there were at least twelve other people below him helping him lift Strong Sad.
- Coach Z's best attempt to pronounce "job"—it comes out as "JYEAROREAROREAYEAROREORB!!!!"Strong Bad: (amused as he tries to teach Coach Z to say "job") Yes, this sounds very good. My only recommendation would be, next time, try to add some more syllables. Perhaps three... Perhaps four...
- All of Strong Bad's nametags have the same name: "Crap for Brains".
- The cartoon opens with Homestar busy... doing something after drinking too much melonade. Later, Strong Bad is unable to light the firewood, which he stole from Marzipan, because unbeknownst to him Homestar did his business all over it. In any case, Strong Bad gets frustrated that the wood isn't catching fire.Strong Bad: ARGH! Stupid matches, frickin' light the fire!
Strong Mad: (rubbing his belly) UGH. HUNGRY...!
Bubs: I'm with Strong Mad. I feel about as hungry as the King of Town on a Saturday!
Strong Bad: I'm trying, I'm trying! (grunts in frustration, then speaks tauntingly) Hello, my name is Piece of Wood, and I don't want to catch fire! Hello, my name is Little Match, and I don't want to make a fire! HELLO, MY NAME IS FIRE, AND I'M NOT COMING TO YOUR STUPID PARTY!!
- To sneak out of his luau duties, Homestar makes a dummy of himself out of tofu and bamboo sticks — and Marzipan falls in love with this one! The toon ends with her affectionately leaning her head in close to the tofu version of Homestar, causing the top half to fall off.Marzipan: Put your head back on this instant!
- Strong Sad's game night... with Homsar.Homsar: Whuaaaaaa, oh no! You shanked my Jenga ship!Strong Sad: I shanked your Jenga ship? We're playing Connect Four.Bubs: Hey you guys! Where The Cheat is at?Strong Sad: Oh, I don't know. It's just us two.Homsar: Uh, hey, Tubs! I just lost my Jenga Jam!Bubs: Don't you talk to me. (walks off)
- Homestar has made Marzipan a veggie burger with olives for eyes. But Marzipan has found the burger too cute to eat, so she has decided to keep it and name it Homestar Jr. She seems to love it more than she does Homestar. At the end, after Strong Bad's group has found The Cheat in his home in the King of Town's grill...Marzipan: (to Strong Bad's group, holding up her veggie burger) Hey, you guys, Homestar Jr.'s talking now!
Strong Bad: Who?
Marzipan: He said, "Put that freakin' sandwich down!"
Homestar: (behind her) No, it was me!
Marzipan: (to Homestar Jr.) I know it was you, sweetie.
Homestar: No, me, Homestar Runner!
Marzipan: You're Homestar Jr., remember?
Homestar: Will you put that freaking sandwich down!?
Marzipan: There, he said it again! I'm so proud of you! Who's the best, Homestar Jr.?
Homestar: (as Marzipan continues to admire Homestar Jr.) Somebody, can I get some help here? Strong Bad? Would you talk some sense into this woman? King, you wanna eat that sandwich? Somebody eat that sandwich.
- The Homestar Runner's reaction to Old-Timey Strong Bad randomly challenging him to a duel is a baffled cry of "What?" three times in a row.
- Old-Timey Strong Bad being thwarted by a "Scene Missing!" card, which somehow leads to him walking off a cliff.
- Old-Timey Strong Bad's fate at the end: "Curses! I've gone to Hell! How unfortunate!"
Bug In Mouth Disease
- How Strong Bad gets his little brother away from the TV set.Strong Bad: I just thought you should know that all your underwears somehow individually ended up priced and labeled in an online auction.
Strong Sad: (running off) Nobody buy the blue ones!
- Homestar tries to freeze the bug out of his system by scarfing down Pom Pom and the King of Town's ice cream bars:King of Town: No! That stuff's prescription!
Homestar: (cries) Oh, it deliciously didn't work!
(Homestar runs off, sobbing, while Pom Pom and the king look on in annoyance)
- Homestar turns to Bubs for advice regarding a swallowed bug, and Bubs tries to convince Homestar to buy a new pancreas.Homestar: (not amused) Bubs, are you an unethical quack?
Bubs: (brightly) The most quackin'-est!
- Homestar keeps trying to ask for help from Strong Bad, who tells him to buzz off. When Homestar pops behind the couch, Strong Bad gives him an Off Hand Backhand with his frying pan. Homestar's response on waking up? "That was a great skillet-nap!"
- Homestar accidentally distracting Strong Bad by claiming to have swallowed his computer.
- "Awww... now my head isn't taped to the TV..."
- Strong Bad getting mad at Homestar being the one who shot Caleb. "You traitor! You shot my favorite TV show!"
- Strong Sad returns triumphant at the end of the cartoon: "The world is saved! I found the blue ones!"
- "Ordinarily, I drown my sorrows in video games, but for this, maybe I should drown them in... drowning them!"Homestar: Uh, maybe let's not kill anybody. We should just try and ruin their date.
Strong Bad: Explain to me how drowning them wouldn't ruin their date.
Homestar: Mainly, I just wanna keep them from making out.
Strong Bad: Eww! The disgust! It won't wash off!
- Marzipan on a dinner date with The Cheat: "Mmm, my almond-encrusted Chilean sea marshmallow was just delicious. How was your hot dog?"
- Strong Bad being an Italian chef... in a French restaurant."Um... s-snails?"
- And as Marzipan and The Cheat walk away, Strong Bad sheepishly remarks "Yeah... you know, I didn't really research this role." Then his mustache falls off.
- Homestar and Strong Bad's cardboard box submarine.Strong Bad: Verify our range to target! Flood tubes three and four! Hunt for Red October!
Cheat Commandos- 2 Part Episode
- After Flashfight makes a personal appearance to fire him and a few of the other Cheat Commandos, Gunhaver decides they'll start their own elite fighting force, and they're immediately shown working in a restaurant for Reynold's brother. Finally, Gunhaver decides that he can't stand that and decides they'll start their own restaurant.[Gilligan Cut]
Cheat Commandos Chorus: Kitchen Commandos — a really ba-ad idea! IT CLOSED DOWN AFTER THREE MOOONTHS!
- "It's the Ramshankle, and you know dang well / It's made out of old vehicles that we couldn't sell!"
- Released in celebration of Homestar's 20th anniversary, HSRGFTG is based on the unfinished second children's book, with Homestar and Strong Bad lampshading all of the Early Installment Weirdness.
- Strong Bad kicks his brother off his team.Tiny Handed Strong Bad: Strong Sad, you are too weak. You must be replaced by... (The Cheat comes onscreen and makes triumphant noises) Dijjery Doo!
(The Cheat makes a HUH? noise)
Strong Bad: Who the crap is Dijjery Doo?
Homestar: I tried to warn ya! I wash my hands of this whole affair!
Strong Bad: Well, I guess he looks kinda cool. Maybe he'll turn out alright.
- Dijjery Doo's voice is hilarious. The massive tusks in his mouth really complicate his speech, so whenever he talks, there's this constant crackling noise that sounds like he's chewing on straws. Said tusks also keep falling out.
- Homestar is excited that the first event is running, only to find out that Pom Pom is taking part and not him.Strong Bad: I'm more worried about how this is clearly roller-skating. Is that what they called running in the mid-nineties?
- After Kid's Book Strong Mad wins the "running" event, Strong Bad points out a typo.Strong Bad: Strong Mad gets an early lead, and wins! After the first event, the Strong Stars have lead. That- that's actually what it says. Here, take a look. Ooh, or maybe it was supposed to be "Have lead!" (Tiny Handed Strong Bad is then equipped with a gun, Dijjery Doo gets a giant pencil, and Story Book Strong Mad is carrying a Russian satellite)
- Homestar Runner wins the swimming contest by using a submarine while Strong Bad has... a fish strapped to the back of his head. Strong Bad is less than amused, and the Grape Fairy, acting as referee, Calvinballs it by saying Rule #1 is that Homestar gets a bathyscaphe-style sub, and Rule #2 is that Strong Bad gets a fish crammed through his skull.
- The Overly Long Gag of The Homestar Runner Waxing Lyrical in several different ways when offering Strong Sad a spot in the flying event.
- Strong Sad becomes Strong Glad after Homestar enters him into the race. Strong "Glad"'s happy voice is hilarious onto himself.Strong Sad: I'm glad that I'm flying! (Both his legs pop off and are replaced by long, shapely women's legs) Woo hoo!
Tiny Handed Strong Bad: Ewwww!
The Homestar Runner: Umm... no. Just no.
Kid's Book Coach Z: I am into this!
Kid's Book Bubs: I don't like it! And I am now in this book.
(Cut to the cover of the book, where a sticker reading "Now With 100% More Bubs!" appears)
- After Strong "Glad" has landed, shapely legs and all, the entire cast (including Svelte Prince of Town) just back away from him as he does a dance.
- The Cheat gets replaced by The Sneak (who was previously re-purposed into the Cheat's Old-Timey counterpart after the book was dropped) later in the story, and it's one of the few times you can hear exactly what he's saying: "What the crap?!"
- Dijjery Do's last-ditch attempt to sabotage Strong Sad. He pulls out a missile, but fumbles with it, losing a tusk in the process and impaling Strong Bad's head with it. He then falls onto Strong Bad while still holding the armed missile, which blows both of them up (thank goodness for Non-Fatal Explosions).
- After the video ends, Dijjery Do pops out of a crate, announcing, "Hey, you guys! I made it out, and somehow survived this crate for over 20 years!" The Cheat angrily stuffs him back in the crate.
- The opening where Homestar tells Marzipan that he has always wanted to own a doughnut shop. It apparently came to him in a dream, a dream where he was a French long-jump champion with eight wooden legs. What's even funnier is that, Homestar being Homestar, what we see of his dream depicts him as a Mexican high-jump champion with one leg.
- Homestar's recipe for doughnuts is revealed as just a piece of toilet paper with the word "dog-nut" written on it.
- Homestar has an encounter with the competition, in the form of an overly-angry Bubs.Bubs: I'm delighted you've decided to set up shop about ten feet away from me!
Homestar: Yeah, we could be a conglomerate! Like KFC-Taco Bell-Radisson-Texas Instruments-NASA!
Bubs: YES! That is a REALLY outstanding IDEA!!!
Homestar: Um, Bubs? Are we in a fight?
Bubs: (slowly calming down) What do you think, man?! You opened up a competing doughnut place right across the street from me!
(zoom out to show the complete absence of a street in the Field)
Homestar: The street?
Bubs: Right across the way from me!
Homestar: But I thought you sold questionable medical coverage.
Bubs: That was two hours ago. Now I'm in the doughnut business. How's that coverage working out for you, by the way?
Homestar: (holding up a huge stack of papers) Great so far!
- Then the 3:09pm Donut Rush — consisting of just the King of Town.King of Town: All right, gentlemen, here's how this is gonna go down. I need fried dough so bad it hurts! According to the data I got back from Taco Bell-NASA, we're gonna need in the 3 to 8 million range to maintain my caloric intake. Now, commence marketing bombardment!
- A sample of the marketing:Homestar: Mine's homemade.
Bubs: Mine's shipped from a third-world country named Homemáde, so I can legally print "From Homemade" on the prepackaged package.
- A sample of the marketing:
- Strong Bad is revealed as the local health inspector, who shuts down Homestar's business by knocking the stand over, causing the cooking oil to (allegedly) burn Homestar's face.Homestar: AGH! My face! My deliciously fried face! Bubs, is this covered by my questionable medical coverage? At least, questionably so?
Bubs: (sneaking away while humming "Mysterio Pizzicato") Root-root-root-root, doooodle-oot doot doot doo!
- "Come along down for a free canceltation with one of our handsome-talking experts. One of them said they'd buy me lunch, but I don't see nobody taking me to Chik-Fil-A..."
- "Act now, and see if you can stand to talk to me for more than four seconds."
- Strong Bad's first encounter with the Drive-Thru Whale, ordering a combo meal and a "Crappy Kids' Toy" meal for himself and The Cheat.Drive-Thru Whale: Nine-seventeen, sever your leg please, sir.
Strong Bad: Could you repeat that? I thought you just asked me to sever my leg.
Drive-Thru Whale: Sever your leg please. It's the greatest day.
Strong Bad: 'Sever my leg'? 'It's the greatest day'? I'm not sure I understand the transaction that's taking place here...
- This exchange:Strong Bad: My The Cheat wants to know what your crappy toy is this week.
Drive-Thru Whale: It's brown.
Strong Bad: (to The Cheat) It's brown.
The Cheat: (starts sobbing)
Strong Bad: (condescendingly) Well I guess they're out of blue ones!
The Cheat: (cries harder)
Strong Bad: Look what you did!
- Homestar as a shiftless fast-food cashier.Homestar: (in a weary voice) Welcome the crap to Blubb-O's. Would you like to try a combo meal, some Chipotle Potato Nudules, or our Attempt-At-Competing-With-National-Coffee-Chains Premium Mocha-Chip Meltshake?
Marzipan: I just have a question: do you use whale meat or just regular fast food meat?
(She holds up two signs, one reading "Save the Blubb-O Whale!" and the other reading "REALLY Save the Blubb-O Whale!")
Marzipan: I just need to know how hard I should protest you.
- Coach Z dressed as the Drive-Thru Whale:Coach Z': Hey dere, kids! I'm the Drive-Thru Whale! I'LL CHOP OFF YER LEGS!!Strong Sad: Sometimes it seems like you're trying to go to prison, Coach Z.Coach Z: Hey, three square meals a day!
- And then pan to Strong Bad and The Cheat with harpoons:Strong Bad: Thar she blows, The Cheat! Aim for the blowhole!
The Cheat: (questioning noises)
Strong Bad: What? Whoa, I didn't even see Coach Z standing in a whale costume. Yeah, shoot him too!
- Homestar at "Freshman Orientation", singing a song loaded with Lyrical Shoehorns:Homestar: You're going have to share a bathroom
With some kid from Alabama that kinda sucks
The financial aid office is closed on Tuesdays
And steer clear of the beef stroganoff in the dining hall!
- The cartoon ends with Homestar, Strong Bad, and Coach Z having to head to the baseball field for "the Bumbling Mascot Race Around the Field", which involves them moving around in deliberately crude animation while the Brothers Chaps sing "Yakety Sax".
79 Seconds Left
- The Easter egg at the end : "This composition book belongs to...The LEG— Aw, crap! Homestar was right. This just spells 'Leg'!"
- It's the loading screen! It's the loading screen! I can't believe this cartoon is just all the loading screens!
- "Squintmojis", random assemblies of emoji "guaranteed to give the slightest impression of a Homestar Runner character" (like combining the bathtub, police siren, and sake bottle emoji to form Homestar).
- "Characters From Yonder Website", a short parodying slow-paced children's animation, featuring simply-drawn, jibberish-spouting versions of the Homestar Runner cast trying to help "Character 2" (Homestar) get his "gumption" back, with Strong Bad providing uncharacteristically mellow narration. Especially with the reveal at the end that the whole thing was hallucinated by the cast after drinking expired "Smarty Juice": "Side effects include drowsiness, euphoria, and unbelievably soothing children's programming."
- Strong Sad comes across everyone sprawled across the basement, and after reading the side effects he decides to join in.
- "Rap Song", a Heavy Meta Piss-Take Rap by Coach Z, "accidentally featuring" Peacey P.Coach Z: Oh, dag! That man has just ordered breakfast in the middle of my rap song!
- Just when fans thought the 2014 April Fool's cartoon was a one-shot deal, Coach Z recruits Strong Bad's help to bust out a new #1 jam.Coach Z: The people need your help!Strong Bad: Wait, the who?Coach Z: I mean, the pyorple!Strong Bad: There you go.Coach Z: They need your help! It's been too long since they had a number-one jam! They've been scraping dope rhymes up off the kitchen floor just to survive!
Strong Bad: Man, fisheye lens, I bet you could make even lame stuff look cool!Coach Z: Yeah, yeah!Strong Bad: What about tax papers?*cut to footage of tax papers on a skateboard*Coach Z: Oh, look at how cool those papes look!
- And what's their new song about? A Mundane Made Awesome ode to the Fish-Eye Lens.
- "Look at that! I've got a considerable rear-shelf!" "That makes me uncomfortable!"
- The ending. Homestar suggests pointing a fisheye lense at a real fish's eye. This kills the rap video and turns the three of them into a Dixieland jazz band.
- One of the Easter Eggs has The Cheat turning Strong Bad's gasps and stutters into a rap beat. It somehow ends in a pizza falling from the ceiling when Strong Bad suddenly shouts "I'm buying you a PIZZA!".Strong Bad: Whoa! I guess I can conjure ceiling pizza now.
- Trogdor Was Dragon Man, a short made to promote the Trogdor board game. It features The Cheat making a music video for a cheesy disco song about Trogdor from the 70s. Aside from being a spot-on Affectionate Parody of disco and funk music ("Whispering things in the 70's!"), the ending has Strong Sad critiquing the short, and getting into an argument with his Powered-By-The-Cheat self over boats ("Everybody knows I'm a Mauretania man!").
- Strong Bad leaves a message pretending (rather badly) to be Marzipan, leaving a Note to Self to "punch Homestar in the face as many times as you can, and as hard as you can."
- Bubs and Coach Z both leave messages asking Marzipan out, with Homestar leaving messages afterwards. Then Strong Mad leaves a rather more blunt message that consists of him repeatedly shouting "MARRY ME!"
- Strong Bad imitates the King of Town, claiming to be the one leaving prank messages on Marzipan's machine. The KOT get back at him by impersonating Strong Bad. Props to Matt for being able to imitate his characters imitating one another.
- Strong Mad tries to do his own prank phone call, with Strong Bad yelling in the background about how "Is your refrigerator running?" doesn't work on an answering machine.
- Strong Bad, posing as "Sweepstakes Ron", calls Marzipan to tell her she's won "an unlimited supply of one million punches-in-the-face."
- Bonus points for it being the first message on the machine, right after she requests it.
- Marzipan getting a call from Stinkoman.Stinkoman: Hello? I think I have the wrong number. Your voice sounds like this is the wrong number. But just in case, can I interest you in a challenge? Or maybe some light fighting? If so, (charging sound is heard) call me on my cellphoooone!
- It turns out the Grape-Nuts Robot from "personal favorites" was real, and Strong Bad and Bubs try to make it leave a prank call on Marzipan's phone.Grape Nuts Robot: HELLO, MARZ-PAN.
Strong Bad: Alright, now make him say it...
Grape Nuts Robot: KISS THE BUTT.
Strong Bad: Did he just say "kiss the butt"? No, make him say "Kiss my butt!"
Grape Nuts Robot: KISS A BUTT.
Strong Bad: Not "kiss a butt"! What's wrong with this thing, Bubs?
Bubs: I thought I told you, no names!
Strong Bad: I, er, der, der— (hangs up)
- Strong Bad's half-hearted attempt to convince Marzipan that tofu is actually made from baby seal meat.
- Homestar's convoluted metaphor for breaking up with Marzipan:Homestar: I don't know where you get off, but it's definitely not at the Homestar Station anymore. Looks like you're taking the 7:30 train to Aloneville! Making stops at Ex-Girlfriend Junction and West Breakin'-Up-With-You! Oh, and you can keep the collector's plates!
- When Homestar regrets his break-up message, he tries to get rid of it by saying it backwards.note When Pom Pom "tells" him this doesn't work, Homestar replaces the tape with one containing fake messages. Needless to say, the impressions he does of Marzipan, Strong Bad, Coach Z, himself, and Strong Sad are hilariously terrible.
- Homestar takes prank-calling lessons from Strong Bad. Hilarity Ensues as Homestar tries to come up with a good prank-calling nickname.Homestar: Oh, hello, Marzipan, this is... Sugarface. (softly) Okay, now what?
Strong Bad: Well, step three is to continue the prank in a direction determined by your identity, but, uh, you're on your own with "Sugarface".
Homestar: Okay. (louder) I am a pretend guy that... comes around... and... (suddenly starts singing) and gets run over by a lawnmower blade!
Strong Bad: What?
Homestar: I chose to end in song!
Strong Bad: Oh, boy... Remember how I said this is a six-week course?
Homestar: Yeah, I'm excited!
Strong Bad: Yeah, it turns out it's cancelled.
Homestar: Aw, man!
Strong Bad: Yeah, it's a shame.
Homestar: Oh well. It's still the second-best 500 bucks I ever spent.
- In another Easter egg, Marzipan gets a call from Vector Strong Bad, who simply calls to tell her: "YOUR PHONE A SPLODE!"
- In between Homestar's attempts at a prank call are Strong Sad's attempt to ask Marzipan out. His second call is him admitting he was lying (about having a copy of V.I. Warshawski on DVD) in the first one.Strong Sad: Oh, geez. Strong Bad's right: I'm a waste of space.
Strong Bad, in the background: I said you were a waste of FAT space!
- Strong Bad poses as "Bob Statesman", who's "running for Elected Official this Tuesday", and tries to scam donations off Marzipan in the form of "cash, all varieties of cupped cakes, and hard rock albums on cassette." He later ends up stealing some stuff Marzipan left out for United Way, and calls to thank her... on behalf of "Senator Statesbob", of course.Strong Bad: I support all the issues: save the animals, move the ocean over there, just like you. We are currently accepting campaign donations to support our cause against runoff camdidate, uh... Cory.
- The King of Town freaks out because his lucky napkin, which he uses for eating Buffalo wings and refers to as "The Flamingo", has gone missing.King of Town: I've got like, fifty frickin' wings sittin' here! I can't eat these things without The Flamingo! (quieter) Um... sorry for... the loud talkin'. This is the K.O.T.... in the place to be.
- "YOU GOT A CALL FROM THE THNIKKAMAN!" Apparently, the Thnikkaman wants Marzipan to be a back-up dancer for his "Thnikkaband".Thnikkaman: All you gotta do is shimmy-shake a little bit to the left, and, if time permits, shimmy-shake a little bit to the right. Oh, and in regards to your question, "can you have some?", yeah! Shut up, kid!
Back Up Singers: Here hangs up the Thnikkaman!
Thnikkaman: Errrroooom... click!
- Strong Bad, sounding disinterested, prank-calls Marzipan pretending to be "Goat-Face" before giving up and just calling her ugly. It's one of the most quotable speeches he's ever given, and the comedic timing is perfect.Strong Bad: Marzipan, look: this is Goatface. I have a goat for a face. Like, not that I have a goat's head for a face, or that my head is a goat's head like, my face is an entire goat. So, anyways, I was calling you ups 'cause I wanted to join your Goatface Club! Since you've got quite a goat face yourself, I figured you'd be the go-to guy, or gal. It's hard to tell with that goat face of yours. Anyways, my number is (imitates a goat) eeeeeh-uhhh! So gimme a call back! We can compare goat faces, though I can't imagine... that yours... your- is- pret-... you're ugly... Marzipan. This is Strong Bad, and you're ugly.
- Later Strong Bad makes another attempt at prank-calling, trying to pose as "all of [Marzipan's] friends", saying that they hate her, she owes them money, and to complain "You said you'd bake us a cake!", which accidentally inspires a Stupid Statement Dance Mix.
- Homestar calls to complain that Marzipan didn't tell "ol' Boyfriend Dan" she got into the Goatface Club, which is apparently something Homestar wanted "ever since I was a moderately-sized baby!" Then he gets confused as to who "Boyfriend Dan" is, and in a fit of jealousy tells Marzipan to warn whoever he is "the ol' Goatface Killa is on the loose! Now... that's me, now I'm the Goatface Killa."
- Homestar tries to leave a "text message" on Pom Pom's cell phone, which involves spelling out the message "PLZ GET EGGS,MILK?" Then he walks through Marzipan's living room and we see he's actually talking into a banana.
- The King of Town leaves a recording for a "new jam" on Marzipan's answering machine. Then The Cheat somehow gets a hold of it and does an epic remix, also recorded on Marzipan's machine. The two eventually decide to collaborate on "a split seven-inch".King of Town: I'm not talkin' about butter
Or how nobody likes me!
It's the new K.O.T.!
In the Two Thousand and Three Plus Three!
I play guitar, apparently!
- Marzipan somehow gets messages from Old-Timey Strong Bad (who leaves a "prank call" in the form of a bad joke about William Henry Harrison and James Garfield) and The Homestar Runner (who's "speaking into an empty soup can, with a length of twine coming from the 'neath.").
- Homestar calls Marzipan, but then forgets what he was calling about. The last message is Homestar remembering why he called... "I'm actively sinking in quicksand! So, if you have any vines or roots that you can toss my way, I would be really, really still alive." An Easter egg shows Homestar stuck in the "quicksand", which is just a kiddie pool full of regular sand, still waiting for rescue late into the night.Homestar: (sighs, starts singing) Somewheres, out theres...
- Another message has Strong Sad, AKA "The King of April Fools Day Pranks", calling Marzipan to plan something that could top last year's prank, when "we replaced everybody's toilet paper with 100% post-consumer recycled toilet paper". Then he awkwardly tries to pass his message off as a conversation about "slow-pitch racquetball" when he realizes someone might intercept their message.
- One message is from Crack Stuntman, the voice of Gunhaver from Cheat Commandos (or as he calls him, "Gun-Hay-Ver from the Cheat Command-Show"), complaining about Marzipan protesting the rallies for Pistols for Pandas.Crack Stuntman: Pistols for Pandas is a just cause! These are stupid, fat, slow creatures we're talking about. They need all the firepower they can get!
- After Strong Bad calls him a "stankwad" and Bubs calls him a "wad in the grass", the King of Town accuses Marzipan of revealing that "Wad" is his middle name, and threatens to reveal her secret "questionable voluntary surgery".King of Town: The Wad is out!
- Homestar making a Phoney Call to Marzipan in order to impress a hot blonde who was apparently Marzipan herself ("Purple dress, broomstick style...")Homestar: Oh hello, yes, middle of our conversation? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I just met with him. Oh yeah, he's real famous. Rich. Rich with money. How many? Five? Five's good.
- Bubs calls to see if Marzipan knows of any other women, because she's not his type and he desperately needs to take someone to the movies.Bubs: I'll take anything at this: lady duck, lady pine cone, lady pillow. I gotta go the movies with somebody. So if you know of any kind of lady item, put in a good word for ol' Bubs. And tell 'em they'll get 10% off at the concession stand! Discount will not be honored.
- In an Easter Egg, Bubs is seen at the movies with a lady duck: Lady Quackingstick, to be exact (basically Lord Quackingstick with a blonde wig on its head).Bubs: I gotta tell ya, Lady Quackingstick, I'm having a great time at the movies.
Strong Bad: (visibly puppeting the toy, sultry voice) Quack, quack...
- In an Easter Egg, Bubs is seen at the movies with a lady duck: Lady Quackingstick, to be exact (basically Lord Quackingstick with a blonde wig on its head).
- The Cheat tries to do a prank call, with Strong Bad translating the noises he makes for Marzipan:The Cheat: (various The Cheat noises)
Strong Bad: Uh, he says you're a face. Uh, a facewich. Like a face witch, like rides a broomstick? Or a facewich, like between two pieces of bread?
The Cheat: (more The Cheat noises)
Strong Bad: You're a facewich, and blow up your house.
The Cheat: (frustrated-sounding The Cheat noises)
Strong Bad: Your nose! Blow up your nose.
The Cheat: (more The Cheat noises)
Strong Bad: Epsom salt?!? The Cheat, are you sure that's the direction you wanna go with this prank call?
The Cheat: (growling noises as he sounds like he's gnawing on something)
Strong Bad: And now you're just gnawing on the phone. Gimme that! (growling stops) I'll show you how it's done: (speaking quickly) Marzipan, this is Dean Prankcaller from the You're Gross Institute, calling to ask you to to come speak at our graduation ceremony. If you're interested, please walk into the bathroom and stare at your gross face until you make yourself puke. Thank you, the end, very much. (normal again) Now that's a prank call.
(The Cheat resumes gnawing and growling again, while Strong Bad groans)
- The call from the Questionable Surgeon revealing that Marzipan's "questionable voluntary surgery" was a nose job.Questionable Surgeon: We were just calling to ask if we could use the before and after photos from your questionable voluntary surgery in one of our advertisements. Yes, that's right, I pronounced it "ad-VER-tiss-ments".
- Strong Sad is house-sitting for Marzipan while she's "volunteering in the Coches Mountains, teaching the heathens how to bend pipe cleaners." He makes a few attempts at making up his own answering machine message, including an embarrassing Piss-Take Rap that he quickly cuts short: "Let's pretend that never happened..."
- Strong Bad tries to prank-call Marzipan's, but when he gets a message from Strong Sad he hastily tries to improvise a new prank call: "Um... I'm gonna knee you in the face... for breakfast?" Then he calls "Ella Phantsgerald" to ask if he can pick up a few things he left the last time he was at Marzipan's house... like "my Marizpan's TV, my Marzipan's guitar and amp, and my Marzipan's cash and jewelry." Then we find Strong Bad decided to cut out the middleman and steal the stuff himself.Strong Bad: Yeah, you can ignore that one.
- Homestar calls and starts going on about how fine "Marzipan" sounds ("You sound finer than the fine you get when you return a movie late to the movie store!") Then he turns out to be standing in Marzipan's living room.Strong Sad: (angry) That is quite enough!
Homestar: Oh, Marizpan! You look, um, great. Is that a new... skin you're wearing?
Strong Sad: It's Strong Sad!
Homestar: It is! It is strong sad and strong unfortunate what happened to your face! Ooh! Pyeow! (runs away, then comes back in) Call me! Pyeow!
- The King of Town doesn't catch Strong Sad's message because he was busy eating "a chocolate-covered tapeworm", but leaves a message for "Agent Panzimar" involving a plan for some epic prank against Strong Sad.King of Town: Hit a snag with step 2, though: the camel died and was decidedly un-delicious. Will move forward with barrel of hot sauce approach. Provided that makes it past dinner time, look for my signal in the northwest sky. Ting of Kown, out!
- Marizpan calls to complain about Strong Sad changing the message on her machine ("Those things are like my adopted foreign babies!"), and to announce she got a call from "Slick Somebody" of "Marzipan's Stupid Face Plumbing" about her "Roman candle valve". Unfortunately, this is right as Strong Sad flushes the toilet, and explosions ensue from just off-screen as Strong Sad runs right into one of Strong Bad's pranks.
- In an Easter egg, Bubs leaves a message to both remind Marzipan that she is overdue to return a video rental of V.I. Warshawski, which he claims is still as a new release (he charges three dollars a day), and to question why her voice sounds so different.Bubs: You sound all fat, depressing and Allan Poe. And you're gonna be real po' if you don't pay that late fee! (laughs) Shop at Bubs'!
- The Homestar characters force Strong Bad to wish the viewers a happy Mother's Day after losing a bet (and wear a cute little boy's sailor suit while doing it):Homestar: Go on...Strong Bad: (clears throat; mumbling) Happy Mother's Day.Homestar: Whaaaaat?Strong Bad: (slightly louder, but still low) Happy Mother's Day.Homestar: (singsong voice) We can't hear you!Strong Bad: (exploding) HAPPY FREAKIN' MOTHER'S DAY!!!!!!(Homestar and the other characters all laugh at Strong Bad.)Strong Bad: (walks off, dejectedly) Aw, man, that's the last time I play you guys in cards. You guys are freakin' ruthless, man! I'm outta here. More like, Crappy Mother's Day, if you ask me. 'Cause it's been pretty crappy so far. I'm not even a mother.
The House that Gave Sucky Treats
- The King of Town introduces his costume:King of Town: (dressed as Hägar the Horrible) Trick-or-Treat! I'm horrible!
Strong Bad: You got that right!
- The King of Town's reaction to being offered a fun-size Butterfinger.King of Town: That's it? Well, if you think I'm going to accept this paltry offering just because it has "butter" in the name... well, you'd be right. Give it here!
- The King of Town's reaction to being offered a fun-size Butterfinger.
- Any of the treats you give Strong Bad (dressed as Carmen Sandiego).
- If you give him a fun size Butterfinger:"Oh, a 'fun size' candy bar? Tell me this: what's fun about eating less candy? Maybe if you gave me an entire bag of them it would be fun. The only fun I'm going to have with this thing is smearing it all over your door when I leave." (does so)
- If you give him a marshmallow bunny:"Why you lazy crap for crap! All you've got is old freakin' Easter candy? This thing's rock hard, man! Well, you just made it onto my 'People I gotta egg today' list." (shows off that list consisting of "ronnie pudding", "king of town", "kewpie dan", "homestar", and "you lazy crap for crap")
- And if you give him an apple:"What is this crap? What are you, a dentist? Or a hippie? Or some kind of hippie dentist?"
- If you give him a fun size Butterfinger:
- Any of the treats Marzipan (dressed as Joey Ramone) is given:
- If you give her some candy corn:"Candy corn? Do you have any real corn? Or Indian corn?"
- If you give her some rice cakes:"Hey, rice cakes! I like to eat these without water."
- But the best is if you give her a steak (she's a Granola Girl):"Is this some kind of a joke? It's not funny."
- What is particularly funny is that while she is talking, Strong Bad is sneaking several more steaks into her bag.
- If you give her some candy corn:
- The site appears to have been taken over by a "squatter site" for the fictional Thorax Corporation. Then Stinkoman shows up and challenges the stick figure from the "under construction" GIF to a fight.Stinko Man: Hey, Stickly Man! Whaaaat are you doing?
Homestar Presents: Presents
- Homestar's reaction to realizing he forgot to do his holiday shopping until 10 PM on the night of the holiday in question, which is basically to shout "Oh crap!" for various reasons, culminating in an Offscreen Crash followed by a deadpan "Oh crap, I fell down the stairs."
- "And now I ran out of the house, naked somehow."
- "Foolish Homestar! Decemberween is not about getting people presents. It's about getting people good presents! Good presents! Not this last-minute discount crap you're trying to foist on us!
HomestarRunner.com Pay Plus!
- The entire site is done up like a "preview" for a pay site, making all sorts of ridiculous offers for extra content, like over 230 episodes of Strong Bad Email (nearly twice the number of episodes released at the time), weekly episodes of "Sweet Cuppin Cakes" (including a crossover with Teen Girl Squad), and "Answering Machines Out the Wazoo". There's also a brief preview starring Homestar, Strong Bad and The Cheat:Strong Bad: (The Cheat is holding a remote control) All right, The Cheat, let 'er rip!
(The Cheat presses a button on the remote control, opening up a trap door under Homestar's feet. He falls through, but only a few feet, after which he stops.)
Homestar: Ooh, that was fun! (starts dancing)
Strong Bad: The Cheat, I thought we were opting for a bottomless pit, not a two-foot pit!
The Cheat: (protesting The Cheat noises)
(Cut to the basement, where Strong Mad is sitting on the couch. It turns out that Homestar had landed on his head.)
Strong Mad: (as Homestar dances on his head) I HAVE A FUNNY HAT!!
- Speaking of the aforementioned Sweet Cuppin Caks/Teen Girl Squad crossover...Cheerleader: (to the rest of the Squad) That stupid wheelchair kid asked me to the Friday Night Dance, but I'm going with Steven!
(Eh! Steve runs up, wearing a football jersey)
Cheerleader: Hey, Steven!
Eh! Steve: Eh! Steve!
Wheelchair: I'll teach you to steal my date, Eh! Steve! I'm gonna come outta my shell at the Friday Night Dance and show everybody who's whooooooooooo!
(The Arrow'd Guy appears, dressed as a fairy)
Arrow'd Guy: (turning the Wheelchair into a more realistic wheelchair drawing) GOOD DRAWING'D!
Wheelchair: I'm a real boy!
Narrator Strong Bad: It's over!
- The cartoon features dueling Kitschy Local Commercials for "The Senorial Day Tent Event Suprasale" and "Bubsotathon".Senor Cardgage: Gamble around the campfire, children! It's Senor Cardgage with the Senorial Day... Tent Thing that guy talked about.
- Bubs doing a Hurricane of Puns, capped off by him dressed as "The Hoppity Frog of Values" and then saying "We're holding up a novelty rubber chicken and playing a cartoony sound effect..." (boing boing!) "...of savings!"
Halloween Potion Ma-Jig
- Homestar's absolutely dreadful Reagan impression.Homestar: Well... Well... Nancy and I... Well... Economics... Well... Rap music... Jelly beans... Well... We... Probably had a... Pet...Bubs: That's the worst Ronald Reagan impression I've ever heard!Homestar: Ronald Reagan?! I was doing my Keanu Reagan!
- Pom-Pom's costume (Walter Sobchak) and Strong Bad's reaction to it.Strong Bad: So what Pom Pom, you're every guy at a truck stop?
Homestar: Uh oh Strong Bad... You're entering a world of pain.
**Pom Pom draws a gun**
Strong Mad: DONNIE! YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR ELEMENT!
More Fan Costumes
- Strong Bad's reaction to a rather poorly-done Trogdor costume"I said 'S and more different S', not 'Seven or... more different... crescent wrench'. And is that limp pantyhose worm supposed to be a beefy arm!? Why don't you go back to the China Express and get them to fill that thing up with teriyaki chicken? Then we'll go over to Spencer's Gifts."
- 2005, Strong Bad being horrified and confused over finding a woman in a Homestar costume hot.Strong Bad: Ha-a, dar dar dar dar DA-A!! So confused... what to think?? Hot Homestar?!? My brain is splitting in half!
Homestar: Oh, hey Strong Bad!
Strong Bad: Daa! You get outta here!
Homestar: Whoa, you sound tense. Do you want me to give you, like, a back rub or anything?
Strong Bad: Uh... yes! NO! I... don't know! Next picture, next picture!!
Homestar: I think this is the last one, sweetie.
Strong Bad: (screams, which recedes in volume as though he is running away)
Homestar: I should probably stop calling everyone "sweetie".
Fall Float Parade
- At the start, Marzipan is giving Coach Z a Death Glare as he speaks:Coach Z: Welcome back. First, please allow me to apologize to my co-host here for any inapprapriate comments I may have made while we was at commercial.
Marzipan: (sternly) That's two strikes, Coach Z!
Coach Z: Yes, yes, what fun!
- Bubs' float:Coach Z: Yes, good old my favorite type o' guy who I'm just all the time hangin' around and doin' stuff with, Bubs!
(cut to Bubs on a giant float with the words "COACH Z, YOU JERK" written on a model rainbow, next to a model of Coach Z's head with a no symbol over it with a "Happy Thanksgiving!!" banner hanging on the float)Bubs: (through a megaphone for the duration of this scene) Coach Z, you jerk!Marzipan: (shocked, slightly sympathetic) Ohhh.Bubs: Coach Z... you jerk!Coach Z: Oh, I see then...Bubs: Coach Z...Coach Z: That's very...Bubs: (more emphasis) you jerk!Coach Z: Overt.
- And then later, when we see Strong Mad's float, which is actually Strong Mad absconding off with Bubs' Concession Stand:Coach Z: Oh. Serves him right, then.
- Strong Bad's float, which is not even remotely fall-themed, as he is seen clobbering snowmen with nunchucks. One of the snowmen is being played — against his will — by Strong Sad.Strong Sad: Strong Bad, I thought you said our float was going to be celebrating our nation's covered bridges!"
Strong Bad: No, I said our float was going to be sticking-you-in-a-fake-snowman-and-beating-you-senseless-with-nunchucks... covered bridges.
Strong Sad: Well, how on earth did I misunderstand all that?
Strong Bad: I dunno, man. You hear the words "covered bridges" and you just go into a trance.
Strong Sad: (eyes widening as he goes into a trance) Ohhh, covered bridges...
- Two separate Easter eggs at the end both involve Bubs' Concession Stand. In one, Homestar is seen standing in the middle of the foundation for the removed stand, in a tiny box big enough only for his feet, labeled "Blue Faced Man's Store".Homestar: Homestar Runner, you have truly outdone yourself! Ol' Mr. Bubs will never know the difference!
- In the second, Strong Mad is seen in the Strong Brothers' house, still holding the stand in his hands.Strong Mad: (to Strong Bad) CAN I KEEP IT?
Strong Bad: No, you can't keep it. Now go put that thing back!
Strong Mad: IT FOLLOWED ME HOME!
Strong Bad: Uh, yeah, that's not true.
- In the second, Strong Mad is seen in the Strong Brothers' house, still holding the stand in his hands.
Fan Costumes '06
- Strong Bad reacting to a guy in a Homestar costume, whose face is visible inside the mask and who's standing next to a guy in a Mario costume:Strong Bad: Guess a little chicken wire and papier-mâché... goes not a very long, long way. Wait a minute, Homestar, who's that in your mouth? Did you eat Luigi?!
Homestar: Yes, Strong Bad, I ate Luigi. He tasted like mushrooms...
Fan Costumes '07
- Homestar somehow mistakes a costume of the Yello Dello for one of Marzipan.Strong Bad: Yeah, you wish Marzipan had legs like that! Or... legs.
- Strong Bad's reaction to a rather attractive woman wearing a "The Pizz" uniform (from the SBEmail "pizza joint")
Most in the Graveyard
- Homestar acting like they're at a Disney theme park. "Don't forget, we parked in the Goofy lot!"
- The King of Town (who will usually dress as a food mascot) is dressed as Hello Kitty. What reasoning does the King have when Strong Bad calls him out on it?King of Town: I dressed up as my favorite candy.Strong Bad: Umm, I'm pretty sure those were erasers.
Fan Costumes '09
- Someone is dressed as The Ugly One — or rather, someone has a cardboard box over them with a drawing of The Ugly One on it.Strong Bad: (singing softly) This one doesn't count. This one doesn't count. This one doesn't count as a costume.
- Strong Bad's song during the montage of bad Homestar costumes:Oh, a red t-shirt and taped-on star
Has anybody told you how terrible you are?
Some white face-paint, or maybe none at all
Just standin' around in your front hall!
Which Ween Costumes?
- Because there wasn't a 2010 Halloween cartoon, the gang ends up dressing in Decemberween costumes:Strong Bad: Uhh, why does this feel... weird?Homestar: What are you talking about? We stand around in the snow in Decemberween costumes every year. It's our thing. It's what we do.Strong Bad: Are you sure? I think we may have gotten our... weens crossed...Strong Sad: Can you please never say that again~?!
April Fool 2014
- After years of almost nothing following the release of "A Decemberween Mackerel" and "Which 'Ween Costumes?" in 2010, April Fools' Day 2014 saw the first big update in a while... where the apparently-static Homestar on a dilapidated version of the "Welcome" screen comes to life and introduces "the Internet" back to his website.Homestar Runner: Over the last several years of my dot com, peoples all the time be askin' me: "Hey Homestar! How come you stopped updating" (coughs and sputters) Ahem! Sorry, got some crab shell stuck in my throat. Continuing. "How come you stopped updating the best feature on your website?" And to that I answer: You mean how come I stopped updating the Hairstyle Runner gallery back in the year 2000? I don't know! Let's go update it right now, Joshy!
- Homestar laughing way too hard at a picture of himself with "P." on his face. "Who puts a period after the letter P?"
- The "Colorarization" version of Old-Timey Homestar, which paints everything in ugly, fuzzy pastel colors... except for Sickly Sam, who instead gets a pair of hairy flesh-and-blood legs to replace his skeletal ones.Sickly Sam: Am I up with the times?
The Homestar Runner: Sorry, Sickly Sam, you're an affront to God and man!
- The new words for Homestar Talker:Homestar Runner: Kitchenette! Strong Bad! Is! Making! Draconian! Marshmallow! Poink!
Strong Bad: "Draconian marshmallow poink?!" Oh, that is it! I'm going to appear on screen! Now.
Homestar Runner: Alright!
- Strong Bad decides to update his most popular feature: "strongbad_eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee_windows98desktoptheme!" Made even funnier by the Unexplained Recovery of the Compy 386.
I Killed Pom Pom!
- Homestar going on about the things he loves about Halloween: "Hot tricks, cool treats, good friends, and MURDER!"
- Homestar tries to get stuff from Bubs to hide his "murder" of Pom Pom, and ends up wildly Acting Unnatural before blubbering his confession. Bubs and Coach Z chuckle and say they've been in situations they've had to Make It Look Like an Accident after their murders.
- Even better, Homestar acts perfectly natural when he asks for bleach, saw blades and body bags. It's the 12-pack of cold ones and dozen maple Bismarcks that make him crack.
- Homestar tries to establish an alibi claiming he was at the King of Town's castle, only for the King to pin the consumption of a pile of whatsit on Homestar.Homestar: Oh, crap. Literal crap.
- Marzipan, dressed as Tom Servo, asks Strong Sad if he wants to riff some bad movies.
- Strong Sad actually glued his eyes shut to make his Pale Man cosplay as authentic as possible.
- And in the end, Homestar accidentally does kill Pom Pom.
- Everyone: YOU KILLED POM POM!
Homestar: Well, duh.
- During the costume roundup at the end, Strong Sad pokes fun at Homestar's way of pronouncing murder, which sounds similar to Mordor. It culminates with Homestar getting caught in a Tongue Twisternote , before hacking up some marbles and finishing the Twister with Matt Chapman's original voice. The last part properly spooks Strong Sad.
The House That Gave Sucky Tricks
- Homestar's terrible haunted house, with a tennis racked decorated to look like a monster and "scary shoes".
- The first attraction at "St. Cavaderstump's Totally-Not-Just-An-Old-Furniture-Warehouse Morgue-tuary" is a Horrible Painting of "somebody's dad"Homestar: Why is he wearing cycling gear?! He's not even that serious about riding!
- Strong Bad riffing on real-life Room Escape Game attractions, all in an attempt to trick Strong Sad into sticking his hand into a dirty toilet. "Touch the freakin' poop!"
- Strong Bad introduces Coach Z and Bubs to "The more subtle horror of... two-star bed and breakfast!"Bubs: Dry scrambled eggs? Questionable hairs on the anti-mac-assar?
Strong Sad: Anti-ma-CAS-sar!
Bubs: Shut up!
Coach Z: Failed terlet paper rose? What kind of inhuman monsters would run a place like this?!
"Shut Up" Lady: Oh, it's so charming.
Bubs & Coach Z: Shut up, lady!
- Strong Bad trying to make "Large Bean" "the new face of terror".
- "From the makers of Hot Jones and Hot Pooey comes the Strong Mad Oyster Smoothie Breath Caked Armpit Latte! Oh my sweet Jennifer, there's no coming back from this one..."
Fan 'Stumes 2015
- Strong Bad criticizes some lazy costumes, then gags when a realistic Homestar costume is shown. "LESS EFFORT! LESS EFFORT!"Strong Bad: I don't know... why you would do this to yourself! You just keep laughing there, Tights-In-The-Hallway!
Sloshy Strong Sad: ♪ Tights in the hallway... ♫
- At the conclusion of the short, Strong Bad is wearing a white-and-red striped mask with silver and gray emblems, blue pants, a hard hat, and a white streak across his boxing gloves, while Homestar wears a plaid flannel shirt with a badly-drawn white star in the middle of it, black sunglasses, and an olive-green baseball cap — both based on the bad costumes Strong Bad had just criticized.
- Homsar's costume is accurate — not visually, but thematically.Strong Bad: (as Homsar) IiiiiIIiiiIIIii stick a Q by the dreamcatchers!
Marzipan's Answering Machine 17.2
- Strong Bad is all set to deliver the ultimate prank call to Marzipan's answering machine... but her inbox is full, due to a backlog of about seven years, leading to nearly half an hour of messages from assorted characters.
- Coach Z went to jail for some reason, and Bubs had to defend him in court. Bubs starts to have doubts about Coach Z's innocence, and while trying to read legal thrillers in order to brush up he got John Grisham and Michael Crichton mixed up, "And now my defense is based around dinosaurs!"
- Homestar keeps calling Marzipan to gush about then-new Internet fads like emojis, planking, and the Ouya.
- Bubs tries to think of a memorable catch-phrase for himself, wanting to be known as more than the guy who runs the concession stand and once stole an aircraft carrier. He tries out such examples as "Zabbledoo!", "Scarborough Fair!", or "Put it to me!", but immediately has second thoughts about "Papadopoulos!"
- The Poopsmith breaks his vow of silence again to wonder if he should find something else to smith besides poop.
- Strong Bad provides an assortment of prank calls, starting with posing as Marzipan's acupuncturist, "Joanie Allthetime", trying to get Marzipan to jam needles in her eyes while reciting the names of brands of yogurt.
- Strong Bad's next prank call has him pose as "Vince Napmaker", the host of a public radio show, trying to scam donations out of Marzipan:Strong Bad: Do you have any idea how much it costs to act like you're this much better than everyone else? And furthermore, our uppity podcasts aren't going to create themselves.
- Homsar calls because he can somehow speak normally on the phone. It's funny, in a sad kind of way, to hear him complain about having to say things like "You're a pork rind's president!" when talking to people in person.
- The King of Town calls to wonder if Marzipan really is his daughter. It's amusing in general that the King of Town's one message isn't about food, save for him claiming "I've had my DNA surgically replaced with MSG!"
- In between pranks, Strong Bad contemplates doing a half-assed follow-up to "Everybody to the Limit" called "Let's Fhqwhgads Again". Shortly after, the Visor Robot calls and tells Marzipan to stop Strong Bad from making "Let's Fhqwhgads Again". Later still, Larry Palaroncini of Limozeen announces he's doing a follow up to their song "Nite Mamas" called "Let's Nite Mamas Again".
- Later, Strong Bad imitates an automated call from a hospital trying to make it seem like Marzipan is being diagnosed with a disease.Strong Bad: Greetings, Marzipan. This is an automated call from...Grody Lab Results Incorporated. Your test results are...negative.Strong Sad: Negative is good when you're talking about lab results!Strong Bad: Wait, what? Oh! Your test results are...positive. Are you sure!? It sounds like I'm giving her good news!Strong Sad: I don't want to be party to this!Strong Bad: They should be less confusing! Your test results are...terrible, and you're dying, or possibly already dead by the time you get this. If you want us to perform experimental surgery on you, and like, sew a llama head onto your existing head, please call back during regular putting llama heads on people hours, and we will schedule an appointment. This prank call has not been my finest execution. Thank you, and have a nice day.
- One of Strong Bad's prank calls involves posing as a new girl character named "Sharpdene", who has a gravelly Southern US accent and is real "skinny-tall" (not to be confused with Sharpdene's late "grandmummer" Skinny Tall; "She is dead!").
- Strong Sad tries to reinvent himself by talking with a lisp, then decides to try wearing jodhpurs again. This somehow lands him in the same prison as Coach Z.Strong Sad: (distressed) The jodhpurs did not work out! They did not work out! Why, jodhpurs? Why'd you do that to me, jodhpurs? How could you do this to me, jodhpurs?!
- Another call from Strong Sad has him complaining that he feels he hasn't been depressing enough. He proceeds to leave a few comically-grim messages like "It's taking way too long for the sun to swallow up the earth," and "I'm sad that I'm trying."
- Marzipan gets a call from Mitch, lead singer of sloshy who, thanks to his band breaking up again, has to use Marzipan's answering machine to record an a capella song for their "split 7-inch" with Cool Tapes. Then Marzipan gets a call from another member of sloshy, who does the back-up vocals... resulting in "a lot of dead air."
- Bubs calls Marzipan to announce he's offering more "organic" goods at the Concession Stand... as in, stuff related to organ trafficking.Bubs: I got ice packs, little Igloo coolers, scalpels, discounts on hotel rooms, bathtubs fulla ice, chloroform, and fifteen pass Econoline vans pre-lined with plastic sheeting! So come on down to Bubs' Organic Concession Stand, where we're keepin' that one urban legend alive! You know the one I'm talking about?
- After about 40 or so messages, the sheer volume of them causes Marzipan's answering machine to explode... with the side effect of causing Strong Bad's prank call to literally blow up in his face, which was Marzipan's plan all along.
Later That Night...
- The cartoon largely focuses on the traditional post-cartoon costume round-up, but we do get a few amusing glimpses at Homestar and company's "hilarious Halloween adventure", and a few more during an extended Easter egg:
- Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and the Cheat visited Senor Cardgage for trick-or-treating. He offered them a whole grocery bag of melty candy bars and threatened to call the cops. The offhand way he says "Go ahead, take as money as you like. And then I'll call the police." is what sells it.Senor Cardgage: Hot zervy, Colingula. I've been Kuwaiting for you all nice!
- Strong Sad, the King of Town, and the Poopsmith went ghost-hunting with Sharpdene (who's really Strong Bad with a coat rack wearing a wig and shades taped to his back). Her ghost-hunting credentials consist of the fact that her dad once met Steven Seagal at a China Buffet. ("Color me genuinely impressed!")
- Coach Z and Bubs met a creepy Marshie the Marshmallow mascot who was handing out samples of "pumpkin-spice-latte-flavored-banana-bread flavored Malloweens"... and also attempting to consume Homestar.Homestar: Hey, Coach Z. Please rescue me so I don't die in here!
- "And who could forget the delightful wedding of the Goblin and the Jibblies painting?" (What makes it funnier is that Rocoulm previously said the Goblin is seriously messed up.)Rocoulm: He accepts me for who I am!
- Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and the Cheat visited Senor Cardgage for trick-or-treating. He offered them a whole grocery bag of melty candy bars and threatened to call the cops. The offhand way he says "Go ahead, take as money as you like. And then I'll call the police." is what sells it.
- Then there's Homestar dressed as Mr. B Natural, shocking everyone when he turns into a musical note. Strong Bad gets a collective Gasp! as well when he sprouts an extra mouth as No-Face. Bonus points for Strong Bad giving Joel's response when "Mr. B" says "Knew your father I did!"note
- Strong Sad is dressed as the girl from UTZ potato chipsnote , and rattles off a Long List of alternative female food mascots he'd considered, such as "the Morton Salt girl, the Sunbeam bread girl, Wendy, the enigmatic and reclusive Sara Lee, and Little Debbie." Then his paunch spontaneously grows bigger.Strong Sad: Hey, I gained fifteen pounds just from saying those names!
Fan Costumes 2016
- Strong Bad rags on a guy dressed as Anonymous Contributor from the SBEmail "rock opera": "When I have to look up your costume on the Homestar wiki, that is probably a little too obscure!"
- Strong Bad reacts with horror, saying he won't be able to sleep for weeks, after seeing a gal dressed as Modestly Hot Homsar lounging in a box of packing peanuts. Then he has the same reaction to a sloppy picture of a Japanese Culture Greg costume.Japanese Culture Greg: And now I'll just apply this looking-through-filthy-swamp-water filter to my selfie, and send it on to Strong Bad!
- Strong Bad's breakdown after seeing one "bad Homestar costume with a sloppily-made star-on-a-red-T-shirt" too many.Strong Bad: Okay, first, draw a star. For... a star. Then, DRAW A FREAKIN' STAR! JUST DRAW A STAR! IT'S LIKE THE EASIEST SHAPE TO DRAW, MAN!
Haunted Photo Booth
- Strong Sad practicing saying "Hercule Poirot" in a French accent, exaggerated to the point where he almost literally chokes the words.
- Strong Bad's attempts to summon the ghost from the haunted photo booth in his pictures instead results in him summoning goofy-looking Bloody Mary-like figures named Jaundice Jerry and Stabby Gabby.
- Strong Sad's convoluted explanation for how The Cheat's gold tooth caused everyone but Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and The Cheat to see a ghost in their photos.
- Bubs costume this year? None other than Grunkle Stan!Singers: Here comes the Thnikka Staaannn!
Bubs: Yeah, shut up, Soos Abuelita!
Fan Costumes 2017
- A bald guy with Strong Bad face-paint inspires a remix of "The System Is Down" ("The System is Bald!").
- A paunchy shirtless guy dressed as Senor Cardgage inspires Strong Bad to get "analogous".Strong Bad: This guy's costume is to Cardgage as Cardgage is to Strong Bad. He's like a Cardgage among Cardgages, a Cardgage squared!
- Strong Bad freaks out over "a seven-foot-tall Homestar Runner with saggy ankles standing in my stounch".
- A sepia-toned photo of an Old-Timey Strong Bad costume leads to a Parody Commercial for "Strong Bad's Flavor Taste Tricks and Treats", with such offerings as "A spoonful of bakinged soda one could mistake for sugar, and some molasses bequeathed to me by a goat upon its untimely demise!"
- Strong Bad is overly-impressed by some costumes inspired by "yes, wrestling".
Dangeresque Puppet Squad: The Hot Jones Hijack
- Homestar Runner as "Stingy Relenque, the French-Canadian smuggler and Decemberween-themed bad guy", who speaks in a ridiculously thick French accent.Stingy: I'm going to steal so much hot jones, I may need subtitles!
- Stingy's evil henchman is a "robotic Santam'n", a dancing plush Santa toy which has had knives duct-taped to its arms. Fortunately for our heroes, the Santam'n becomes practically harmless after falling over.Homestar: (singing) Oh-oh-oh, Santam'n is a blade man
He's coming for you, to chop you in two!
Santam'n is a blade man
He's coming to town to cut your whole family down!
- Dangeresque is briefly confused by how Stingy Relenque pronounces "Firebert": "Who's Fah-bear?"
- "Six-syllable catchphrase!"
- Dangeresque and Firebert manage to recover the Hot Jones, but because it kinda went over a cliff in an exploding tanker trunk, Dangeresque has to pass off the aftertaste of burning gasoline as a new cocktail, "Santaman's Chimney".Dangeresque: It's the new punkin spice!
- The general Stylistic Suck on display throughout.
The Next April Fools' Thing
- The cartoon opens with a crudely-drawn character voiced by a little girl (based on Folly, a rejected idea for a new female character seen in "Why Come Only One Girl?") rambling about Bubs having a picnic and everyone showing up to say "blah" (literally), then cutting to a loading screen for "like, a hundred seconds". After about twenty-five seconds of Folly hemming and hawing while trying to figure out what happens next, it abruptly cuts to... a new Strong Bad Email, in which Strong Bad shares his tips for getting motivated and inspired.
- Coach Z twirling a jock strap, admiring Strong Bad's "shouting at yourself in a mirror" technique.Coach Z: Now that fella really knows how to mortavort a porson!
- Strong Mad trying to psych himself up to "talk to orange juice" by punching himself in the face... and accidentally knocking himself out (and offscreen).
- Strong Bad forcing to Strong Sad to beat a video game boss, or else the spiky Descending Ceiling will kill them both.
- Strong Bad marches up to Bubs and demands inspiration. At first the best Bubs can come up with is "leg boats", but after a little more effort he comes up with "file folder-shaped vitamins".Strong Bad: INSPIRE ME!
Bubs: Ah! L-Leg boats!
Strong Bad: ...Leg boats? Is that all you got?
Bubs: Uh, yeah. It's like a little boat that your legs go inside of.
Strong Bad: So it's a kayak.
Bubs: No no. For while you're standing up.
Strong Bad: So it's water skis.
Bubs: Yeah yeah. Except it's called leg boats.
Strong Bad: That's not inspiring! Guess I'll just walk away and- No, I'm not just kidding, INSPIRE ME!
Bubs: Ah! File!
Strong Bad: Yeah?
Bubs: Uh, folder?
Strong Bad: Yeah?
Bubs: Shaped vitamins?
Strong Bad: Now that's inspiring. Yes, File Folder Shaped Vitamins. Because office workers lead hollow lives, and this is the kind of thing they'd be into.
- Homestar shows up in Strong Bad's computer room, sitting on a random boulder ("And you brought a boulder." "Not me, plate tectonics!"), and turns the e-mail into a workshop (and a Parody Commercial) on "the ABDs: Always Be'sing and Do'sing."Strong Bad: Sooo youve started a cult?
Homestar: Yeah, kinda.
- The ending has a stinger where it cuts back to Folly, who finally comes up with an ending for her idea: just when "people might think it's gonna be loading forever", Stinkoman comes out and punches Bubs in the face.
Mr. Poofers Must Die
- Coach Z and Pom Pom do a collaborative costume, based on Missy Elliott's baggy leather jumpsuit from the music video for "The Rain (Super Duper Fly)". This amounts to Coach Z's head sticking out of Pom Pom's body, which has been painted black. During the costume round-up, Pom Pom sticks his head back out to complain about the set-up, but Coach Z tells him to "Get back in there!"
- Homestar tries to tell "a top-notch four-and-a-half-stars-with-over-six-hundred-reviews-quality ghost story" about a dog named Mr. Poofersnote meeting his untimely demise. But no matter how hard he tries, the story always ends on a non-scary anticlimax. Everyone else takes a turn trying to whip up a story in which Mr. Poofers dies, only for it to backfire in various ways, to everyone's increasing distress:
- Coach Z has a story in which Mr. Poofers gives a present to his Sitcom Arch-Nemesis Old Man Rootbeer, only for it to contain "half a hairbrush".
- Marzipan's story describes how Mr. Poofers never complained, except for one time after he got served a bowl of "bad, bad pudding" with a hair in it.
- Strong Sad goes through an elaborate ritual to mentally prepare himself for a scary story, but he can't get past Mr. Poofers sitting in a white void with a "pimecone" before breaking down.Strong Sad: Augh! Let me out! It was horrible! It was like Homestar's imagination was gushing out of my mouth like fire!
Homestar: I know, right?
- Strong Bad gets closer than the rest, having Old Man Rootbeer try to kill Mr. Poofers with a flamethrower... but then it turns into a jaunty musical number with Mr. Poofers and Old Man Rootbeer riding on a trolley.
- Ultimately, the gang decides to "start worshiping Mr. Poofers as our dark overlord".
- Homsar shows up as David St. Hubbins, but what really sells it is that he's wearing the powder blue, poofy Saturn shirt Jeanine knitted him as part of his costume.
- In The Stinger, Mr. Poofers shows up as a "beast of the Apocalypse" in an episode of Characters From Yonder Website, where Character 1 feeds him an orange to "appease" the dog.
Fan Costumes 2018
- Strong Bad points out a flaw in a costume of Vampire Marshie from "Malloween Commercial", in that he's missing the bite taken out of his head.Marshie: If I can ever poomp back the bite on my head... (Marshie's bite starts regenerating) I'll be (in a slow, low-pitched voice) unstoppable...
Strong Bad: Please don't ever say "poomp back" ever again.
- Strong Bad busts out a ditty about a Homsar costume and a Modestly Hot Homsar costume about how "This is impressive, disturbing, and makes me uncomfortable!" Then the song gets a reprise for a Coach Z costume that involves a lady wearing white lipstick and hair dye.
- A boxy-headed Homestar costume inspires a Parody Commercial for "Truckhead Homestar", riffing on cliches found in pick-up truck ads, including Bubs singing wordlessly to the Southern rock-ish background music.Strong Bad: 2018 Truckhead Homestar!
You Probably Hunt, Right? Or... Fish?
- Strong Bad's horror at one young lady's The Cheat costume:Strong Bad: (horrified) GAAAH! You inhuman monster! You skinned The Cheat so you could wear his Cheat-pelt!
The Cheat: (The Cheat noises)
Strong Bad: What you do mean, you molt?
The Cheat: (affirmative The Cheat noises)
Strong Bad: You're molting right now? Turn the lights on.
(The lights turn on, revealing The Cheat shedding an outer shell of skin like a snake)
Strong Bad: YAHHH! That is so much worse than if you were skinned alive!
- Larry from Limozeen refusing to watch Twister because "It's a black mark on Cary Elweseses' career!"
- Strong Bad decides to drop the snappy wisecracks for a string of moderately-impressive costumes, including an elaborate reproduction of the Proud Anselmo encounter with "a space myoo-tant from Satriani 5" in "space program".Strong Bad: Sometimes I feel a little guilty thinking that you guys put way more time and effort into these things than was ever spent on the source material on which it is based. (cut to a guy in a half-assed Strong Bad costume consisting of a crude paper mask and boxing gloves) Oh wait, nevermind!
- The first time videoHomestar Runner: Oh, hello. Welcome to homestarrunner.net!
Director: It's "dot com".
Homestar Runner: Oh, right. Homestarrunner.net—it's dot com!
- Homestar: Okay, this time I'm totally gonna get it. Seriously you guys.Director: ...go ahead, we're rolling.Homestar: Oh! I am Homestar, and This is A Website!
- Homestar: Oh, hello! I'm Homestar Runner! (long pause) Isn't that great?Strong Bad: Oh, I can't take it anymore! (knocks Homestar aside; sarcastically imitating Homestar) Hello, and welcome to I'm-A-Big-Moron-Who-Can't-Remember-His-Lines-dot-com! (calmer) No, seriously. I'm Strong Bad, and you don't know it yet, but I'm the reason you're here.Homestar: (leans in) It's true.Strong Bad: Check me out! No, seriously, check me out.
- Before they were discontinued in 2008, if you bought something from the store, you were given a thank-you message from one of the characters. They were also time-oriented, so depending on what time of day something was bought, you'd get a message that corresponded. If you bought something from midnight to 5 AM, Homestar would come out in his pajamas and say..."(yawn) Oh...hi there. We appreciate you buying stuff from us and everything, but um...(yawn)...you should really get to bed."
- The flash file also had code that read which page you were on previously, and if it wasn't an order confirmation page, the flash file would know it!
- One of the old intro decision pages has one... awkward button placement◊ for "come on in".
- This intro for Wil Wheaton (or, as Strong Bad calls him, "Hwil Hweaton") at W00tstock 5.0Strong Bad: This one isn't a rule so much as it is a question: can anybody explain Homestuck to me?
- Grunkle Stan & Strong Bad finally confess their feelings.
- Made all the funnier when you realize that Matt Chapman actually worked on Gravity Falls, not only in writing, but also voicing incidental characters.
- Strong Bad butchering another classic children's book while reading it... for charity:Narrator: And now, Strong Bad
Strong Bad: (interrupting, quickly) butchers the
Narrator: Classics.(Strong Bad stylizes the Ocelot to look like Garfield and then draws three men, all looking like Lyman, with the word "LAW" on their shirts)
Strong Bad: "I hate Mondays," thought an ocelot. "Sup, Jim Davis' lawyers."Strong Bad: "Rob Morrow to you", said the Ocelot. "You must find a husband by sunrise, or Doom 2 bad guys will come out of my ears!" (Strong Bad draws a Mancubus, a Hell Knight/Baron, and a Lost Soul coming out of the Ocelot's ears as he makes roaring and explosion noises)Strong Bad: When she could not find a husband, the Porridge Maiden sat by a punk rock giant to watch the wicked solos. (Strong Bad makes electric guitar noises)
- The kicker at the end being Strong Sad coming out of nowhere after having his wisdom teeth removed (again), still loopy on anesthetic.Strong Sad: You can't brother me down, Mrs. Strong Fast! I favorited you on my Facebroach.
- The kicker at the end being Strong Sad coming out of nowhere after having his wisdom teeth removed (again), still loopy on anesthetic.
- On Strong Bad's Twitter, this video was posted to celebrate Homestar Runner's twentieth anniversary... or more accurately, to make fun of fans saying that the Homestar Runner franchise turning twenty made them "feel old".
- This "Halloween edition" of Joystick Wagglin' with Videlectrix, a parody of mediocre Let's Play videos in which the Videlectrix guys play Haunted House for the Atari 2600.
- Strong Bad's "Skills of an Artist" videos, where the mastermind behind Trogdor shows the viewers how to draw all sorts of ridiculous things, including:
- A sammich, with salami, pastrami, season four-tulami and... a severed pig's head.
- Some "posh toilet paper", being brought to you by a trained cat.
- Cannonmouth, getting his picture taken.
- Strong Sad's Severed Soolnds, and how to disguise them as a public restroom for chefs.
- A muscleman taking a written exam.
- A video game End Boss, with a cameo by Stinkoman.
- Cartoon Characters, where he sketches himself and Homestar in the most laid-back, far-out manner possible.
- A majestic eagle, or rather a majestic eagle's cool, shady older brother.
- A classic stand-up arcade game starring Froosh and Dooj, the Explodey Sisters.
- A special live-streamed episode had Strong Bad drawing a cross-section of The Cheat.
- Tennis shorts, which double as the shade to a novelty lamp to brighten up one's rumpus room, or Florida room ("What the crap's a Florida room?!")
- For Halloween 2017, Strong Bad uses his Skills of an Artist to teach viewers how to draw none other than Large Bean from "The House That Gave Sucky Tricks". With a special guest appearance by Homestar!
- A festive Thanksgiving cornucopia, which he can't resist turning into a hideous giant monster.
- A sad clown... inexplicably protruding from a slice of bread. Which somehow inspires Strong Bad to make it into some kind of weird educational poster: "Don't Toast Your Protruders, Kids!"
- As part of a Worldbuilders fundraiser, Strong Bad drew a Draccus from The Kingkiller Chronicle, eating a candy cane.
- A guitar, complete with a quadruple whammy bar and four plugs: "This one goes to the amp, this one goes to the stage, this one goes straight to the Grammys, and this one goes to... uh... the gold records."
- A floppy disk, which is followed by Strong Bad adding various shapes and effects (like a rainbow trail and some 3D primitives) to turn it into a magazine ad from The '80s about the wonders of technology.
- Everyone's favorite, a slightly-used barf bag! Complete with flies, stink lines, and a "curious friend".
- A Really Cool Boat, complete with a bridge shaped like a castle and a pair of cool glasses. Then it turns out to be a clever disguise for the might Cheat-viathan to attack unsuspecting ships and... steal their chips. Then to cap it all off, there's a brief Powered-by-The-Cheat segment featuring the Deep-Sea Fangly Fish from the SBEmail "animal" and the Coach Z Pterosaur from "Summer Short Shorts".
- The Brothers Chaps had a lot of fun promoting the Kickstarter for Trogdor!! The Board Game:
- The official trailer for the board game, featuring Strong Bad repeatedly (and with rising ire) correcting the narrator for mispronouncing "Trogdor", and indulging in some Bad Bad Acting with Homestar when demonstrating how the game is played.
- Meeple Grove, a short starring wooden "meeple" versions of the characters doing a parody of "old British stop-motion shows" with "a pleasant narrator [who] overexplains everything", not unlike the "Trauncles" segments on Two More Eggs.
- The game comes with a mini-game called "Stack 'Em to the Heavens", which comes complete with a promotional video starring everyone's favorite deranged candy mascot, Marshie the Marshmallow!Marshie: "Stack 'Em to the Heavens" is a talk-say I made a long time ago... (angry) And th-th-then— these jerks stole it!
- This promo for Wyrmwood Gaming's deluxe game board (made available to Consummate-tier donors on the Kickstarer campaign) features goofy commentary by Strong Bad.Strong Bad: I just assumed from the music that this was a commercial for insurance, or one of them old-man medications.