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Can't Bathe Without a Weapon

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"Ask me if I want a towel one... more... time..."

"Yeah, except my gun's all soapy. Pretty stupid to bathe with a gun...."
Archer
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When a character is bathing and someone of the opposite sex comes in, or something is going to attack the bather, they suddenly pull out a gun while still in the tub and try to shoot the intruder. Or draw a blade and try stabbing him, if firearms aren't an option. Sibling trope to the Pillow Pistol. If they employ their towel as said weapon, that's Cloth Fu.

This commonly happens in Outdoor Bath Peeping. See also Crazy-Prepared, Properly Paranoid.


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Examples

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    Anime & Manga 
  • In A Certain Magical Index, Touma and his father find out the hard way that Kaori Kanzaki bathes with her nodachi.
  • Code Geass: Kallen Stadtfeld/Karen Kozuki keeps a folding knife to defend herself at all times, even when bathing. One time before she found out that Lelouch was Zero she was prepared to stab him through a shower curtain, and another time she charged Suzaku with her knife when he discovered her bathing under a waterfall with her Black Knights uniform nearby.
  • In Dog Days, when Valerio tries to peep on some girls in a bathhouse, they all pull out rifles and open fire on him. He effortlessly catches the bullets and throws them back with enough force to destroy their towels. Later, his luck runs out when he invades another bathhouse; Nanami and Rebecca successfully fend him off with their weapons. During the second season finale, he tries to peep on the first bathhouse again, but the girls trigger a bomb on his hiding place.
  • In The Familiar of Zero, during the Hot Springs Episode, the girls carried their magic wands to the hot spring to prevent the boys from peeping on them.
  • Grenadier
    • Rushuna Tendō does this in the intro credits and in one part of the manga.
    • In one episode, she's bathing and is attacked. She has her gun where she can snag it with a towel that's at hand.
  • Gundam
  • In Kenichi: The Mightiest Disciple, Shigure and Kenichi are bathing together in a mixed-sex hot spring when they are attacked by assassins after Shigure's head. She then reveals that she is a) skillful enough to use her wet hair ribbon as a whip against three armed men, and b) Properly Paranoid enough that she had stashed her sword in the branches of a nearby tree, nearby enough that she could use the ribbon to pick it up.
  • Volvo in Kochikame is never without his weapons, even in baths.
  • In Lord Marksman and Vanadis, when Tigre accidentally walks in on Ludmila's bath, she pulls out her pole-arm and eventually smacks him with its shaft.
  • Mahou Sensei Negima!
    • When Kazumi is taking pictures of everyone at the end of the trip to Kyoto, she takes a picture of several of her classmates in the hot springs, including Mana Tatsumiya. She was hiding a gun under a bucket and is seconds away from shooting Kazumi.
    • Earlier in that same arc, Negi personally discovers that yes, Setsuna does bathe with her demon-hunting sword.
    • The "Spring" OAV features a scene between Mana and Misora, the latter being shocked at Mana bringing a small arsenal into the tub with her. Mana assures her that they're perfectly safe to use underwater.
  • In Ninja Scroll, Jubei has his sword within arm's reach when he's bathing at the hot springs. It quickly comes in handy.
  • Promo/Fanservice art of Noir shows that, yes, the assassin duo take showers with their guns within reach.
  • In the Hot Springs Episode of Outlaw Star, Suzuka hits Gene with her sheathed sword when he landed in the Hot Spring where she and Melfina were bathing in.
  • In Princess Lover!, Sylvie Van Housen tries to bring her rapier into the hot springs, much to the surprise of the other girls.
  • Revolutionary Girl Utena film, Adolescence of Utena, Kozue threatens her brother with a razor blade while she is in the tub. She was trimming his eyebrows, incidentally.
  • In the second episode of Soul Eater, Tsubaki throws a shuriken at Black Star for conspicuously peeping at her while she is bathing in a lake. (She does it again at a bathhouse at the end of the episode.)
  • In one episode of Tokkô, Kureha is attacked by phantoms while taking a shower and quickly grabs her twin daggers, which were within arms reach and slices up her attackers.
  • In Yaiba, Kojiro's first attempt at stealing Yaiba's Raijin Sword involves asking Yaiba to bath together, and take the chance to steal the blade. It is foiled when it's revealed that Yaiba bathes with his sheathed sword still on his back.
    Yaiba: "Yup, why?"
  • Full Metal Panic? Fumoffu takes this to it's logical conclusion in its Hot Springs Episode. Rather than merely bathing with guns, Mao and Sousuke decide it would be better to plant landmines and install sentry turrets in every square foot of the bathhouse, turning Kurz's attempt at some Outdoor Bath Peeping into a reenactment of Saving Private Ryan.

    Comic Books 
  • Deconstructed in an Achille Talon album, La Main du Serpent: Vincent Poursan jumps out of his bath with a blunderbuss, spurring the comments:
    Achille Talon: A blunderbuss in a bathroom! Violence is indeed everywhere.
    Lefuneste: Yeah, that's kinda dirty.
  • Blackhawk did this during his run in Action Comics Weekly; riffing on the "never bring a knife to a gunfight" line from The Untouchables.
  • In Black Moon Chronicles, Feydreiva the elven female warrior is spotted by Wismerhill while bathing in a river — the first woman he'd ever seen naked. She responds by throwing a bastard sword in a tree next to his head.
  • Jonah Hex is often shown bathing with his trusty bowie knife concealed in the tub.
  • Lucky Luke pulled this on Dr. Doxey once. It should be noted that Luke had hidden his six-shooters underwater.
  • An iconic (and NSFW) cover from Strangers in Paradise features Katchoo in a bathtub wearing a leather jacket(and nothing else), a gun in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. Shortly after the title's last issue, Terry Moore produced a commission piece homage to the original cover. Same bathtub, same leather jacket, but Katchoo is now holding a super-soaker, and Francine is wearing a bathrobe and a snorkel, about to join Katchoo in the bathtub.

    Films — Live-Action 
  • In the Barb Wire movie with Pamela Anderson, Barb bathes with a gun nearby. When her ex comes in, she prepares to shoot him.
  • John Wayne has done this in at least one Western, Big Jake. There's a shower scene, and he knows someone's after him, so he keeps a shotgun in the shower. When the guy comes in to kill him, Jake has the shotgun in his hands and uses it to shoot through the thin wooden door of the shower stall.
  • An unnamed blond girl from Doomsday pulls out a shotgun while still in her bathtub and shoots.
  • Firefox offers a shower example: while bathing for the title plane's maiden flight, the protagonist talks to a mission command officer, without leaving his pistol. (Justified for two reasons: he's an American sent there to hijack the Firefox... and he's Clint Eastwood.)
  • In Ghost Rock, Jenya Lano does this in her bathtub with two pistols. She then gets out and walks all over the saloon naked, shooting all the intruders.
  • The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: A vengeful man, whom Tuco had previously shot in the hand and permanently disabled, catches the "Ugly" naked in a bathtub. He delivers a long speech about how he tracked Tuco down, and how he had lots of time to learn to shoot with his left hand... which is cut off when Tuco shoots him with a gun hidden under the bathtub bubbles.
    Tuco: When you have to shoot, shoot, don't talk.
  • Gunless: Sean is taking a bath in the Chinese laundry and appears to be asleep in the tub. The young girl Adell enters to bring him food. He suddenly stand bolt upright in the tub pointing his gun in her face.
  • James Bond:
    • In The Man with the Golden Gun, Andrea Anders pulls a gun on James Bond when he walks in on her showering.
      James Bond: [not surprised at all] A water pistol?
    • Bond himself pulls a similar trick in GoldenEye when Xenia attacks him while he's having a leisurely swim at his hotel. He retrieves his gun from alongside his towel once out of the pool and sets it down when Xenia begins to kiss him. Conveniently, it disappears when Onatopp starts crushing him to death, presumably as not to ruin the tension and provide a too-easy ending to the fight.
  • Averted at the end of the Maverick movie. Twice. However, both those times were deliberate. the first was a setup to reveal that Cooper is actually Maverick's dad and the second time because Maverick wanted the money to be stolen by Annabelle because "it's going to be a whole lot of fun getting it back!"
    Cooper: There's a half a million dollars in that satchel over there and your gun is eight feet away from you. Not smart. Not smart at all.
  • Every single man in the tubs in Sao Feng's bathhouse does this in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. "WEAPONS!"
  • Revenge (2017): When Richard returns to the house after searching the desert for Jen, he takes his shotgun with him when he goes to take a shower. Justifies as he knows that Jen is still out there and hunting for him.
  • When Mathayus (The Rock), hero of The Scorpion King, crashes through the ceiling of the Sorceress' bathroom, she instantly grabs a convenient dagger and assumes a defensive stance that has Mathayus' jaw hanging.
    Sorceress: Well? Are you going to kill me or just stare at me?
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    Literature 
  • In The Caves of Steel, the future-NYPD rules require this; Elijah keeps his blaster (in a waterproof holster) with him whilst showering. As restroom and shower facilities are communal (though socially still "private" as men are expected to ignore each other) and securable lockers seem nonexistent the rule logically follows.
  • In the Charlie Parker Series, a flashback to Louis and Angel's first meeting has Louis emerge from the shower and pull a gun on Angel, who has broken into his apartment and is attempting to steal his television. Louis also keeps a small arsenal hidden in the medicine cabinet in their guest bedroom' en suite.
  • In the first Doom novel, Flynn Taggart decides to risk taking a shower in the Phobos Lab infirmary. He takes the trouble to lock the doors and turn off the lights except for the one in the shower stall and keeps his trusty shotgun within arm's reach. Makes sense since the base is currently in the middle of an Alien Invasion and a Zombie Apocalypse. Luckily for Flynn, he doesn't get attacked while he's showering. He gets attacked immediately after leaving the infirmary though.
  • In the Dragonlance Chronicles, when Silvara hears Gilthanas watching her, she runs over to her clothes. He expects her to cover herself, but she just pulls out her knife.
  • In the last book of The Immortals, Daine's bath is interrupted by a tauros. She improvises a sling out of a towel and swears to never bathe without a proper weapon again.
  • Not a literal example, but in Iron Fist, two of the Wraiths on a mission are surprised to find that another Wraith brought his sniper rifle, even though the mission wasn't one that should have called for any sort of sniping. He offhandedly tells them that he takes it everywhere — sleeps with it, bathes with it, goes to the fresher with it... He's probably just messing with them, of course; even in Wraith Squadron, someone carrying a metre-long laser rifle on his person at all times would have earned him some weird looks.
  • In Matadora, Dirisha Zuri is told that the bathrooms are not off-limits in Matador Villa's running spetsdöd-tag game, and to therefore use the following procedure when washing her hands: take off one spetsdöd, wash that hand, put the spetsdöd back on, then do the same with the other hand.note 
  • In The Stainless Steel Rat Wants You by Harry Harrison, James Bolivar DiGriz is showering at home on a peaceful planet. He hears his wife's scream and runs out without even grabbing a towel. He sees her get shoved into a car by two goons and pulls out a gun he keeps in his ankle holster. We can assume that the gun is waterproof. Needless to say, the neighbors are a little freaked out by a naked guy firing a gun.

    Live-Action TV 
  • Longmire: When Vic is being stalked by Ed Gorski in "A Good Death is Hard to Find", she starts taking her gun into the shower with her.
  • Psych: Lassiter has many guns hidden in his apartment, including one hidden in his showerhead.

    Tabletop Games 
  • The Forgotten Realms spell "Laeral's Gesture" is the result of Laeral being tired of being attacked while bathing, and thus not having her spell components on hand (it quickly fires any currently available low-level spell, skipping its material or verbal components).
  • One illustration in Scion: Demigod shows Horace Farrow lifting a pistol out of his bath and shooting an intruder. Appropriately enough, it's next to the description of the "Eternal Vigilance" Knack. It's also a reference to The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (see above).

    Video Games 
  • In a scene cut from the US release of Breath of Fire IV, Ryu sneaks in upon Nina and Ursula conversing while enjoying a hot spring (after Nina told him not to, no less) in an island the group is currently stranded on. The moment his curiosity gets the better of him and he tries to take a peek, he finds out that Ursula apparently prefers to soak with her firearm close by. See for yourself. In fact, given that there was literally zero reaction time between him starting to peek and the rock he was hiding behind getting shot, she probably heard him and knew he was there the whole time, just waiting for him to try his luck.
  • In a cutscene in God Hand, Olivia pulls an ax out of her bubble bath to discourage Gene from getting too close. (Of course, she's crazy, and Gene's not known for keeping his hands to himself.)
  • Not a gun, but in The Granstream Saga, the hero sneaks onto a flying vessel in a treasure box. Said treasure box is delivered to the female leader's personal quarters. The hero sneaks out of the box at just the right time (said leader is taking a shower in the same room), said female leader notices and throws a battle axe across the room, barely missing his head and comes out of the shower with a towel holding a massive morning star.
  • Kid Icarus: Uprising: Hot springs scattered around the chapters serve as healing points but are also used by many characters for recreational purposes. According to a conversation between Pit and Magnus in Chapter 2, "the angel's code of conduct states that [angels] must always be ready for duty"; this means going into a hot spring fully dressed and armed doesn't just happen in gameplay.
  • In Mass Effect 3, a background character took a bath without a gun. What followed was a horrible, horrible line of traumatic events. It wasn't funny at all. And if you use your Spectre status to let her have a gun, she uses it to kill herself.
  • No More Heroes:
    • Averted at a critical moment: Travis doesn't have his beam katana when Ermen Palmer attacks him on the toilet, almost costing him his life.
    • A nod to this is in the sequel, which upholds this trope — Travis keeps all his beam katanas on his belt at all times in the sequel, most likely due to the above incident.
  • The Operative: No One Lives Forever: Cate isn't attacked in the shower scene, but you can see she's ready for that contingency, as her handy revolver is right there.
  • Watch out for the bather in Shadow Warrior. She only looks unarmed.
  • While not a gun, in Summon Night: Swordcraft Story 2, when the protagonist is asked why they always carry their smith hammer around (Which they just used to defeat a monster.) They reply by pointing out, as a Craftknight, they carry their hammer around with them EVERYWHERE. (They mention taking it to the bathroom, so it's not too much to assume they also bathe with it)

    Web Comics 

    Western Animation 
  • Archer's competence and good judgment are extremely questionable, but he goes nowhere without a weapon, not even a hot tub. He then promptly lampshades the entire thing.

    Real Life 
  • George MacDonald Fraser's way of describing the dangers of serving in the British Army in Palestine in 1946 was, "You took your service revolver into the shower with you." He was not exaggerating.
  • A variant: the legendary Miyamoto Musashi supposedly had poor personal hygiene because he refused to bathe very often, with the reasoning that even if you brought a weapon with you, you could be caught off guard too easily.

 
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